In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

Manners of Talking to Others

Islam has legislated a number of rules that a Muslim should abide by when speaking to
others. A Muslim must always remember, without a doubt, that he will account for every
good and bad thing that he says. He will be rewarded for his good words, and he will be
punished for every bad word that he says. Allah (S.W.T.) says in surat Quaaf, what can
be translated as, “Not a word does he utter, but there is a watcher by him ready (to
record it) .” (Verse 18)

The Messenger (S.A.W.) warned us about the seriousness of speaking. The prophet said,
in an authentic hadith reported by Imams At-Tirmithi and Ibn-Majah, that, “A person
may say a word that is pleasing to Allah (S.W.T.) and he may not think much of it, but
Allah (S.W.T.) will, (because of that word), bestow his pleasure upon him on the Day of
Judgment, and a person may say a word that is displeasing to Allah (S.W.T.), and he may
not think much of it, but Allah will have, (because of that word) put his wrath and anger
on him on the Day of Judgment.”

Speaking can be dangerous. So, we should control it within the limits of Islam, guided
by Allah (S.W.T.) and His Messenger Muhammad (S.A.W.).

Here are some of the ways that we can control our speaking:

1- We should speak only if we our speech will be good and beneficial. We should
remember the famous saying, “If you do not have anything good to say, don't say
anything at all.” Imams Bukhari and Muslim reported that the prophet (S.A.W.) said,
“Whosoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him say good or remain silent.”

2-We should be truthful when we speak and refrain from lying: The believer should
always tell the truth, and he should never lie even if when he is joking around. Imams
Bukhari and Muslim reported that the prophet (S.A.W.) said, "You must speak the truth
for the truth leads to virtue and virtue leads to Paradise . One, who always speaks the
truth and means the truth, is recorded as truthful with Allah. Keep away from the lie for
the lie leads to evil and evil leads to the Hell Fire and one who continually tells a lie and
intends to lie is recorded with Allah as a liar.”

3- We should refrain from using bad language or cursing at all times: Never use bad
language, even if you are serious or just kidding around, because Allah hates the
disobedient, and He hates the one who curses. Disobedient talk includes bad-mouthing
others, and cursing. For this reason, the prophet (S.A.W.) warned us in an authentic
hadith that , “The believer does not accuse, curse others, disobey Allah, nor bad-mouth
others.” and in another authentic hadith , “The curse of a Muslim is a sign of
disobedience.” Not only are we prohibited from cursing at the living, but we are also
forbidden to curse at the dead. The prophet (S.A.W.) forbade us when he said; “Do not
curse the dead; they will get it for what they had done (in this life)” and the prophet even
(S.A.W.) ordered us in another hadith to, "Mention the good things about the dead.”

4- We should refrain from Gheebah or backbiting Gheebah means to talk about

someone behind their back in a manner that he/she would dislike. Allah (S.W.T) says in
Surat Al-Hujurat, in what could be translated as, "And do not backbite one another."
Furthermore, we should refrain from Nameemah , which means spreading around rumors
that would cause conflict among people. In fact, the prophet said in an authentic hadith ,
"He who makes Namimah does not enter Paradise .” And when someone is committing
Gheebah or Nameemah, then we should stop listening to them, because if we keep
listening, then we will share their sins.

5- We should refrain from swearing by the name of Allah unless it is absolutely

necessary . Allah (S.W.T.) says in surat Al-Baqarah, what can be translated as, “And do
not make Allah's (Name) an excuse in your oaths.” (Verse 224)

6- We should speak about matters within our knowledge and expertise : If you do
not know what you are talking about, then remain silent. Allah (S.W.T.) says in surat Al-
Isra'a, what can be translated as, “And do not follow [ say] that of which you have no
knowledge.” (Verse 36)

7- We should not speak about matters that we hear about, without investigation:
We always hear things from others that may not be so truthful or accurate, and some
people talk about things even when they are doubtful. So in order to avoid sharing their
sins, you should not speak without making sure that what people are saying is true. The
prophet (S.A.W.) warns us in an authentic hadith, “It is enough sin a person commits
when he talks about everything he hears.”

8- We should make sure that our goals from our speech should be to find the truth.
We should not worry about how or who reveals the truth; just make sure that someone
reveals the truth in the end.

9- We should refrain from involvement in senseless arguments in which the sole

purpose is to put down others and to show superiority: Aimless arguments are signs
of misguidance. (We seek refuge with Allah from it). For this reason, the prophet
(S.A.W.) warned us in an authentic hadith reported by Imam At-Tirmithi, "A people did
not get misguided after Allah had guided them, but they were aimlessly argumentative.”
Stay away from arguments even if the truth is on your side, so that you can end a
pointless argument. The prophet (S.A.W.) said in another authentic hadith reported by
Imam Abu-Dawud, “I guarantee a house in the surroundings of Paradise for the one who
stopped being aimlessly argumentative even if he is right.”

10- We should make our speech simple, clear, and avoid difficult words: There is no
reason to use eloquent language or complicated words when no one understands; also,
avoid hurtful words that put down others, because the prophet (S.A.W.) hates this kind of
talk. The prophet (S.A.W.) said in a fair hadith reported by Imam At-Tirmithi, “The
people whom I hate the most and who are the farthest from me on the Day of Judgment
are those who talk uselessly, and those who put down others, and those who shows off
when they talk.”

11- We should make sure our speech is clear, quiet, and audible enough for others
to hear and understand: Sometimes, the prophet (S.A.W.) used to repeat important
words three times to make sure that it was understood and he used to make his speech
simple and easy for everyone to understand.

12- We should make sure our speech is serious and to joke around very sparingly:
And if you do decide to be humorous, at least make truthful jokes just like the prophet
(S.A.W.) used to do.

13- We should avoid interrupting others while they speak and we should listen to
what they have to say until they finish their statement: Afterwards, you should
comment on what they have said—only if necessary. We should not waste time by
repeating or commenting on everything, everyone says.

14- We should talk and debate in a polite manner, avoiding words that hurt, put
down, or humiliate others: All messengers ordered this good way of speech. When
Allah sent Mousa and his brother Haroun to Pharaoh, he ordered them to speak to him
nicely. Allah (S.W.T.) says in Surat Taha, “And speak to him (Pharaoh) mildly,
perhaps he may accept caution or fear Allah.” (Verse 44) Always remember, you are
no better than Mousa and Haroun and the person you are debating with is no worse than
Pharaoh.

15- We should not reject what a person says just because their speech is mixed with
right and wrong information: Never reject the truth, even if someone has mixed the
truth with false details. Sort out the information that is truthful, and disregard what is
dishonest or wrong. By doing this, we are establishing justice and fairness that Allah
(S.W.T.) has commanded us to do.

16-We should not give our selves complements nor should we praise or pat
ourselves on the backs in front of others: This type of behavior is a sign that a person
is arrogant. We should avoid being arrogant, and be humble because Allah (S.W.T.)
forbade us from it in Surat An-Najm, what can be translated as, “Do not complement
yourself, He (Allah) knows best of those who are pious.” (Verse 32)

After listening to all this advice on how we should conduct our speech and our language,
we should think twice before we speak. Furthermore, we should be more careful and
remember that there are two angels sitting on our shoulders recording every word we
utter. Think about this information and reflect on it the next time you are in a
conversation, a debate, or in a meeting with others. By using this etiquette, you will
always have fruitful speech.