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The Platinum Rule

by Tony Alessandra and Michael J. O'Connor Tony Alessandra. (c) 1996. Copying Prohibited.

Reprinted for Diana Tudorache, Hewlett Packard diana.tudorache@hp.com Reprinted with permission as a subscription benefit of Skillport, http://skillport.books24x7.com/

All rights reserved. Reproduction and/or distribution in whole or in part in electronic,paper or other forms without written permission is prohibited.

ThePlatinumRule

Chapter 3: How to Tell Where You Fit In


OVERVIEW You're in a rush to get to the airport, but the checkout line at the hotel is long and slow-moving. Do you:
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Take your place quietly at the end? Demand to see the manager? Ask those at the head of the line to let you in? Go to the end but continue to grumble and complain?

Similarly, do you slow down, or speed up, when the traffic light turns yellow? Are you the kind of person who charges right into the midst of a cocktail party, or are you more likely to linger around the edges until you see who's there and who's not? Also, how much you talk, what risks you'll take, what kind of people irritate you, how quickly you make decisions, how readily you share your feelings, whether you're curious or competitive, analytical or accommodatingall these traits, and more, suggest your behavioral style. And that style stays with you like your fingerprints. By now you probably have a pretty good idea of which of the four basic styles is most like you. But in the self-assessment that follows, you'll determine your style more precisely. Knowing your own style can enable you to better (1) capitalize on strengths, present and potential; and (2) reduce how often your weaknesses trip you up. Remember, it's not uncommon to have personality traits that span more than one style. In fact, most of us aren't purely one style. We're blends, and our personal combination changes from time to time, depending on the situation and whom we're with. Yet most of us show one primary style most of the time. That style is most evident when you're most at ease, when you're just acting like yourself, when your mind seems as if it's on automatic pilot. That's the style we'll determine here. In a later chapter, we'll refine the four basic styles more precisely and see if you're, say, a Director with strong Socializer tendencies or some other such combination. For now, though, here's how to figure out where you likely fit among the Big Four: THE PLATINUM RULE PERSONAL-STYLES INVENTORY This is an informal survey, designed to determine how you usually act in everyday situations. The idea is to get a clear description of how you see yourself. For each pair of statements below, distribute three points between the two alternatives (A and B), depending on how characteristic of you the statement is. Although some pairs of statements may seem equally true for you, assign more points to the alternative that is more representative of your behavior most of the time.

If A is very characteristic of you and B is very uncharacteristic, write "3" next to A and "0" next to B. If A is more characteristic of you than B, write "2" next to A and "1" next to B. If B is very characteristic of you and A is very uncharacteristic, write "3" next to B and "0" next to A. If B is more characteristic of you than A, write "2" next to B and "1" next to A.

After you have marked answers to all eighteen pairs of statements, transfer your ratings to the blanks on page 41. Please base your answers on how you actually behave, not on how you think you should behave. (Remember: the numbers you assign to each pair must add up to 3.)
1A_______ 1B_______ I'm usually open to getting to know people personally and establishing relationships with them. I'm not usually open to getting to know people personally and establishing relationships with them.

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2A_______ 2B_______ 3A_______ 3B_______ 4A_______ 4B_______ 5A_______ 5B_______ 6A_______ 6B_______ 7A_______ 7B_______ 8A_______ 8B_______ 9A_______ 9B_______ 10A_______ 10B_______ 11A_______ 11B_______ 12A_______ 12B_______ 13A_______ 13B_______ 14A_______ 14B_______ 15A_______ 15B_______ 16A_______ 16B_______ 17A_______ 17B_______ 18A_______ 18B_______

I usually react slowly and deliberately. I usually react quickly and spontaneously. I'm usually guarded about other people's use of my time. I'm usually open to other people's use of my time. I usually introduce myself at social gatherings. I usually wait for others to introduce themselves to me at social gatherings. I usually focus my conversations on the interests of the people involved, even if that means straying from the business or subject at hand. I usually focus my conversations on the tasks, issues, business, or subject at hand. I'm usually not assertive, and I can be patient with a slow pace. I'm usually assertive, and at times I can be impatient with a slow pace. I usually make decisions based on facts or evidence. I usually make decisions based on feelings, experiences, or relationships. I usually contribute frequently to group conversations. I usually contribute infrequently to group conversations. I usually prefer to work with and through others, providing support when possible. I usually prefer to work independently or dictate the conditions in terms of how others are involved. I usually ask questions or speak tentatively and indirectly. I usually make emphatic statements or directly express opinions. I usually focus primarily on ideas, concepts, or results. I usually focus primarily on persons, interactions, and feelings. I usually use gestures, facial expression, and voice intonation to emphasize points. I usually do not use gestures, facial expression, and voice intonation to emphasize points. I usually accept others' points of view (ideas, feelings, and concerns). I usually don't accept others' points of view (ideas, feelings, and concerns). I usually respond to risk and change in a cautious or predictable manner. I usually respond to risk and change in a dynamic or unpredictable manner. I usually prefer to keep personal feelings and thoughts private, sharing only when I wish to do so. I usually find it natural and easy to share and discuss my feelings with others. I usually seek out new or different experiences and situations. I usually choose known or similar situations and relationships. I'm usually responsive to others' agendas, interests, and concerns. I'm usually directed toward my own agendas, interests, and concerns. I usually respond to conflict slowly and indirectly. I usually respond to conflict quickly and directly.

Please transfer your scores to the following table. (Note: Sometimes the "A" response appears first; other times, the "B" response is first.)
THE PLATINUM RULE PERSONAL-STYLES SCORING SHEET O 1A 3B 5A 7B 9A 11B 13A 1B 3A 5B 7A 9B 11A 13B G 2B 4A 6B 8A 10B 12A 14B D 2A 4B 6A 8B 10A 12B 14A I

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ThePlatinumRule

15B 17A TOTAL:

15A 17B TOTAL:

16A 18A TOTAL:

16B 18A TOTAL:

Now, compare the O and G scores. Which is higher? Write the higher score in the blank below and circle the corresponding letter: ______O or G Then compare the D and I scores. Which is higher? Write the higher score in the blank below and circle the corresponding letter: ______D or I SO WHAT'S THE VERDICT? Here's how to figure out which style is most descriptive of youalong with a quick recap of what makes that style tick. q If you circled the G and the D, you tend toward being a Director.
Strengths: Weaknesses: Irritation: Goals: Fear: Motivator: Administration, taking initiative. Impatience, insensitivity. Indecision. Productivity, control. Being hustled. Winning.

q If you circled the O and the D, you show many qualities of a Socializer:
Strengths: Weaknesses: Irritation: Goals: Fear: Motivator: Persuasion, interacting with others. Disorganization, carelessness. Routine. Popularity, applause. Loss of prestige. Recognition.

q If you circled the O and the I, you're predominantly a Relater.


Strengths: Weaknesses: Irritation: Goals: Fear: Motivator: Servicing, listening. Oversensitivity, indecision. Insensitivity. Acceptance, stability. Sudden change. Involvement.

q If you circled the G and the I, you have lots of Thinker characteristics.
Strengths: Weaknesses: Irritation: Goals: Fear: Motivator: Planning, analyzing. Perfectionistic, overly critical. Unpredictability. Accuracy, thoroughness. Criticism. Progress.

We'll come back to your styleand the quantitative score you gave yourselfin a later chapter. Meanwhile, now that you
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know your own style, let's find out how to get a reading on everyone else.

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