Therapist: How's your blog going? John Watson(JW): Yeah, good.Very good.

Therapist: You haven't written a word, have you? JW: You just wrote "still has trust issues". Therapist: And you read my writing upside down.You see what I mean? John...you're a soldier.And it's going to take you a while to adjust to civilian life...and writing a blog about everything that happens to you will honestly help you. JW:Nothing happens to me. ________________________________________ 12.October Sir Jeffery Patterson(Sir P): What do you mean, there's no ruddy car? PA: He went to Waterloo, I'm sorry. Get a cab! Sir P: I never get cabs! PA: I love you. Sir P: When? PA: Get a cab! Wife: My husband...was a happy man who lived life to the full. He loved his family and his work. And that he should have taken his own life in this way... is a mystery... and a shock to all who knew him. ________________________________________ 26.November James Phillimore(JP): Yes, yes! Taxi!I'll be back in two munites, mate. Jimmy: What? JP: I'm just going home to get my umbrella. Jimmy: You can share mine. JP: Two munites, all right? Boy, 18, kills himself inside sports centre ________________________________________ Your Local MP Beth Davenport Junior Minister for Transport 27.January Man(M): She still dancing? Woman:(W) Yeah, if you can call it that. M: Did you get the car keys off her? W: Got them out of her bag. M: Where is she? ________________________________________ Sg.Donovan(Sg.D): The body of Beth Davenport, Junior Minister for Transport was found late last night on a building site in Greater London. Preliminary investigations suggest that this was suicide. We can confirm that this apparent suicide closely resembles those of Sir Jeffery Patterson and James Phillimore. In the light of this, these incidents are now being treated as linked. The investigation is ongoing but Detective Inspector Lestrade will take questions now. Male Journalist1(M1): Detective Inspector, how can suicides be linked? Detective Inspector Lestrade(DI.L): Well, they all took the same poison. They were all found in places they had no reason to be. None of them had shown any prior indicat... M1: But you can't have serial suicides. DI.L: Well, apparently you can. Male Journalist2(M2): These three people, there's nothing that links them? DI.L: There's no link we've found yet, but we're looking for it. There has to be one. Wrong! Sg.D: If you've all got texts, please ignore them. M1: it just say "wrong".

Sg.D: Well, just ignore that.If there are no more questions for Detective Inspector Lestrade I'm going to bring this session to an end. M2: If they're suicides, what are you investigating? DI.L: As I say, these suicides are clearly linked. It's unusual situation. We've got our best people investigating. Wrong! M2: Says "wrong" again. Sg D: One more question. Daily Mail Journalist(DM): Is there any chance that these are murders? And if they are, is this the work of a serial killer? DI.L: I know that you like writing about these, but these do appear to be suicides. We know the differences, The poison was clearly self-administered. DM: Yes, but if they are murders, how do people keep themselves safe? DI.L: Well, don't commit suicide. Sg D: Daily Mail. DI.L: Obviously, this is a frightening time for people but all anyone has to do is exercise reasonable precautions. We are all as safe as we want to be. Wrong! You know where to find me. SH DI.L: Thank you. Sg.D: You've got to stop him doing that. He's making us look like idiots. DI.L: If you can tell me how he does it, I'll stop him. ________________________________________ Mike Stamford(MS): John! John Watson! Stamford, Mike Stamford. We were at Barts together. JW: Yes, sorry, yes, Mike, hello. MS: Yeah, I know, I got fat. JW: No, no. MS: I heard you were abroad somewhere getting shot at. What happened? JW: I got shot. JW: Are you still at Barts, then? MS: Teaching now, yeah. Bright young things like we used to be.God, I hate them. What about you? Just staying in town till yo get yourself sorted? JW: I can't afford London on an Army pension. MS: You couldn't bear to be anywhere else. That's not the John Watson I know. JW: Yeah, I'm not the John Watson... MS: Couldn't Harry help? JW: Yeah, like that's going to happen. MS: I don't know, get a flatshare or something? JW: Come on, who'd want me for a flatmate? What? MS: You're the second person to say that to me today. JW: Who was the first? ________________________________________ Shelrock Holmes(SH): How fresh? Molly: Just in. 67, natural causes. Used worked here. I knew him, he was nice. SH: Fine.We'll start with the riding crop. Molly: So... Bad day, was it? SH: I need to know what bruises form in the next 20 minutes. A man's alibi depends on it. Text me. Molly: Listen, I was wondering. Maybe later, when you're finished... SH: You're wearing a lipstick. You weren't wearing lipstick before. Molly: I, er... I refreshed it a bit. SH: Sorry, you were saying? Molly: I was wondering if you'd like to have coffee.

SH: Black, two sugars, please. I'll be upstairs. Molly: OK. ________________________________________ JW: Bit different from my day. MS: You've no idea! SH: Mike, can I borrow your phone? There's no signal on mine. MS: And what's wrong with the landline? SH: I prefer to text. MS: Sorry, it's in my coat. JW: Er, here... Use mine. SH: Oh... thank you. MS: This is an old friend of mine, John Watson. SH: Afghanistan or Iraq? JW: Sorry? SH: Which was it, Afghanistan or Iraq? JW: Afghanistan. Sorry, how did you...? SH: Ah, Molly, coffee, thank you. What happened to the lipstick? Molly: It wasn't working for me. SH: Really? I thought it was a big improvement. Your mouth's too small now. Molly: OK. SH: How do you feel about the violin? JW: I'm sorry, what? SH: I play the violin when I'm thinking and sometimes I don't talk for days on end. Would that bother you? Potential flatmates should know the worst about each other. JW: You told him about me? MS: Not a word. JW: Then who said anything about flatmates? SH: I did. Told Mike this morning I must be a difficult man to find a flatmate for. Now here he is, just after lunch with an old friend clearly just home from military service in Afghanistan. Wasn't a difficult leap. JW: How did you know about Afghanistan? SH: Got my eye on a nice little place in central London. We ought to be able to afford it. We'll meet there tomorrow evening, seven o'clock. Sorry, got to dash. I think I left my riding crop in the mortuary. JW: Is that it? SH: Is that what? JW: We've only just met and we're going to go and look at a flat? SH: Problem? JW: We don't know a thing about each other. I don't kno where we're meeting. I don't even know your name. SH: I know you're an Army doctor and you've been invalided home from Afghanistan. You've got a brother worried about you but you won't go to him for help because you don't approve of him, possibly because he's an alcoholic more likely because he recently walked out on his wife. And I know your therapist thinks your limp's psychosomatic quite correctly, I'm afraid. That's enought to be going on with, don't you think? The name is Sherlock Holmes, and the address is 221B Baker Street. Afternoon. MS: Yeah, he's always like that. Messages-Sent If brother has green ladder arrest brother. SH: Hello. JW: Ah, Mr Holmes. SH: Sherlock, please. JW: Well, this is a prime spot. Must be expensive.

SH: Mrs Hudson, the landlady, she's given me a special deal. Owes me a favour. A few years back, her husband got himself sentenced to death in Florida. I was able to help out. JW: Sorry, you stopped her husband being executed? SH: Oh, no, I ensured it. MrsH : Sherlock! SH: Mrs Hudson, Dr John Watson. MrsH : Hello. Come in. JW: Thank you. SH: Shall we...? JW: Well, this could be very nice. Very nice indeed. SH: Yes. Yes, I think so, my thoughts precisely. So I went straight ahead and moved in. JW: Soon as we get this rubbish cleaned up. JW: So this is all... SH: Well, obviously I can straighten things up a bit. JW: That's a skull. SH: Friend of mine. When I say friend... Mrs.H: What do you think, then, Dr Watson? There's another bedroom upstairs, if you'll be needing two bedrooms. JW: Of course we'll be needing two. Mrs H: Oh, don't worry, there's all sorts around here. Mrs Turner next door's got married ones. Sherlock! The mess you've made. JW: I looked you up on the internet last night. SH: Anything interesting? JW: Found your website. The Science Of Deduction. SH: What did you think? JW: You said you could identify a software designer by his tie and an airline pilot by his left thumb? SH: Yes. And I can read your military career in your face and your leg and your brother's drinking habits in your mobile phone. JW: How? Mrs H: What about these suicides, then, Sherlock? I thought that'd be right up your street. Three exactly the same. SH: Four. There's been a fourth. And there's something different this time. MrH: A fourth? SH: Where? DI L: Brixton, Lauriston Gardens. SH: What's new about this one? You wouldn't have come to get me otherwise something different. DI L: You know how they never leave notes? SH: Yeah. DI L: This one did. Will you come? SH: Who's on forensics? DI L: Anderson. SH: Anderson doesn't work well with me. DI L: Well, he won't be your assistant. SH: I need an assistant. DI L: Will you come? SH: Not in a police car, I'll be right behind. DI L: Thank you. SH: Brilliant! Yes! Four serial suicides and now a note. Oh, it's Christmas. Mrs Hudson, I'll be late. Might need some food. Mrs H: I'm your landlady, dear, not your housekeeper.

SH: Something cold will do. John, have a cup of tea, make yourself at home. Don't wait up! Mrs H: Look at him, dashing about... My husband was just the same. But you're more the sitting-down type, I can tell. I'll make you that cuppa, you rest your leg. JW: Damn my leg! Sorry, I'm so sorry. It's just sometimes this bloody thing... Mrs H: I understand, dear, I've got a hip. JW: Cup of tea'd be lovely. Thank you. Mrs H: Just this once, dear. I'm not your housekeeper. JW: Couple of biscuits too, if you've got them. Mrs H: Not your housekeeper! SH: You're a doctor. Actually, you're an Army doctor. JW: Yes. SH: Any good? JW: Very good. SH: Seen a lot of injuries, then. Violent deaths. JW: Well, yes. SH: Bit of trouble too, I bet? JW: Of course. Yes. Enought for a lifetime, far too much. SH: Want to see some more? JW: Oh, God, yes. JW: Sorry, Mrs Hudson, I'll skip the tea. Off out. Mrs H: Both of you? SH: Impossible suicides? Four of them? Not point sitting at home when there's finally something fun going on! Mrs H: Look at you, all happy. It's not decent. SH: Who cares about decent? The game, Mrs Hudson, is on! Taxi! ________________________________________ SH: OK, you've got questions... JW: Yeah, where are we going? SH: Crime scene. Next? JW: Who are you? What do you do? SH: What do you think? JW: I'd say... private detective. SH: But...? JW: But the police don't go to private detectives. SH: I'm a consulting detective. Only one in the world. I invented the job. JW: What does that mean? SH: It means when the police are out of their depth, which is always, they cunsult me. JW: The police don't consult amatures. SH: When I met you for the first time yesterday, I said Afghanistan or Iraq. You looked surprised. JW: Yes, how did you know? SH: I didn't know, I saw. Your haircut, the way you hold yourself says military. But your conversation as you entered the room JW: A bit different from my day SH: said trained at Barts - so Army doctor, obvious. Your face is tanned but no tan above the wrists. You've been abroad, but not sunbathing. Your limp's bad when you walk, but you don't ask for a chair when you stand. Like you've forgotten about it, so it's at least partly psychosomatic. That says the original circumstances of the injury were traumatic. Wounded in action, suntan - Afghanistan or Iraq. JW: You said I had a therapist. SH: You've got a psychosomatic limp, of course you've got a therapist. Then there's your brother. Your phone. It's expensive, e-mail enabled, MP3 player. You're looking for a flatshare. You wouldn't waste money on this - it's a gift, then. Scratches. Not

one, many over time.It's been in the same pocket as keys and coins. The man sitting next to me wouldn't treat your one luxury item like this. So it's had a previous owner. Next bit's easy. You know it already. "Harry Watson - from Clara xxx" JW: The engraving? SH: Harry Watson - cleary a family member who's given you his old phone.Not your father - this is a young man's gadget. Could be a cousin, but you're a war hero who can't find a place to live. Unlikely you've got an extended family, certainly not one you're close to, so brother it is. Now, Clara - who's Clara? Three kisses says romantic attachment. Expensive phone says wife, not girlfriend. Must've given it to him recently - this model's only six months old. Marriage in trouble, then - six months on, and already he's giving it away? If she'd left him, he would've kept it. People do, sentiment. But no, he wanted rid of it - he left her. He gave the phone to you, that says he wants you to stay in touch. You're looking for cheap accommodation and you're not going to your brother for help? That says you've got problems with him. Maybe you liked his wife, maybe you don't like his drinking. JW: How can you possibly know about the drinking? SH: Shot in the dark. Good one, though. Power connection - tiny little scuff marks round the edge. Every night he goes to plug it in and charge but his hands are shaking. You never see those marks on a sober man's phone, never seen a drunk's without them. There you go, you see? You were right. JW: I was right? Right about what? SH: The police don't consult amateurs. JW:That was amazing. SH: You think so? JW: Of course it was. It was extraordinary. It was quite extraordinary. SH: That's not what people normally say. JW: What do people normally say? SH: Piss off! (They laugh) SH: Did I get anything wrong? JW: Harry and me dont get on. Never have. Clara and Harry split up three months ago and theyre getting a divorce. And Harry is a drinker. SH: Spot on, then. I didnt expect to be right about everything. JW: Harrys short for Harriet. SH: Harrys your sister. JW: Now what exactly am I supposed to be doing here? SH: Your sister! JW: No, seriously, what am I doing here? SH: Theres always something. Sgt. D: Hello, freak. SH: Im here to see Detective Inspector Lestrade. Sgt. D: Why? SH: I was invited. Sgt. D: Why? SH: I think he wants me to take a look. Sgt. D: You know what I think, dont you? SH: Always, Sally. I even know you didnt make it home last night. Sgt. D: Er whos this? SH: Colleague of mine, Dr. Watson. Dr. Watson, Sergeant Sally Donovan. Old friend. Sgt. D: A colleague? How do you get a colleague? Wha- did he follow you home? JW: Would it be better if I just waited? SH: No. (Lifts police tape) Sgt. D: Freaks here. Bringing him in.

SH: Ah, Anderson. Here we are again. Anderson: Its a crime scene. I dont want it contaminated. Are we clear on that? SH: Quite clear. And is your wife away for long? A: Oh, dont pretend you worked that out, somebody told you that. SH: Your deodorant told me that. A: My deodorant? SH: Its for men. A: Well, of course its for men. Im wearing it! SH: Sos Sergeant Donovan. Oof. I think it just vaporized, may I go in? A: Now look, whatever youre trying to imply SH: Im not implying anything. Im sure Sally came around for a nice little chat and just happened to stay over. And I assume she scrubbed your floors going by the state of her knees. (In the apartment complex) SH: Youll need to wear one of these. DI L: Whos this? SH: Hes with me. DI L: Yeah, but who is he? SH: I said hes with me. JW: Arent you going to put one on? (No answer) SH: So where are we? DI L: Upstairs. I can give you two minutes. SH: May need longer. DI L: Her names Jennifer Wilson, according to her credit cards. Were running them now for contact details. Hasnt been here long. Some kids found her. (In the room with the dead body, the three examine SH: Shut up. DI L: I didnt say anything. SH: You were thinking. Its annoying. (As Sherlock starts to examine the body, we see that the victim has scratched a word into the wood floor. The scratches on her left hand nails tell us she was left-handed. The message says, Rache. It could be either a German threat meaning revenge, or she could have been writing Rachel. Sherlock goes in for a closer look. He sees that her cot is wet. She has an umbrella in her pocket, but it is dry. The inside of her collar is wet, too. Lestrade watches, confused as to what Holmes is trying to piece together. With his special magnifying lens, Sherlock sees that all of the victims jewelry is clean, except for her wedding ring. Shes been unhappily married for ten or more years. Watson is thinking. As Sherlock takes off the ring, he notices that the inside is clean and shinier than the outside. It is regularly removed. She could be a serial adulterer and cheated on her husband many times.) DI L: Got anything? SH: Not much. A: Shes German. Rache. German for revenge. She could be trying to tell us somethingSH: (Interrupts) Yes, thank you for your input. (He shuts the door on Anderson.) DI L: So shes German? SH: Of course shes not. Shes from out of town thought, intending to stay in London for one night, before returning home to Cardiff, so far, so obvious. JW: Sorry, obvious? DI L: What about the message, though? SH: Dr. Watson, what do you think? JW: Of the message?

SH: Of the body. Youre a medical man. DI L: You know, we have a whole team outside. SH: They wont work with me. DI L: Im breaking every rule letting you in here SH: Yes, because you need me. DI L: Yes, I do. God Help me. SH: Dr. Watson? JW: Hm? (Looks at Lestrade) DI L: Oh, do what he says. Help yourself. Anderson, keep everyone out for a couple of minutes. SH: Well? JW: What am I doing here? SH: Helping me make a point. JW: Im supposed to be helping you pay the rent. SH: Yeah, well, this is more fun. JW: Fun? Theres a woman lying dead. SH: Perfectly sound analysis, but I was hoping youd go deeper. (Lestrade walks back in and Watson starts to examine the body.) JW: Yeah Asphyxiation, probably. Passed out, choked on her own vomit. Cant smell any alcohol on her. Could have been a seizure, possibly drugs. SH: You know what it was, you read the papers. JW: Well, shes one of the suicides, the fourth DI L: Sherlock- two minutes, I said. I need anything youve got. SH: Victim is in her late 30s. Professional person going by her clothes. Im guessing the media going by the frankly alarming shade of pink. Traveled from Cardiff today, intending to stay in London for one night from the size of her suitcase. DI L: Suitcase?! SH: Yes. Shes married at least ten years, but not happily. Shes had a string of lovers but none of them knew she was married. DI L: Oh, for gods, sake, if your just making this up(!) SH: Her wedding ring. Ten years old at least. The rest of her jewelrys been regularly cleaned, but not her wedding ring. State of her marriage right there. The inside of the ring is shinier than the outside, so its regularly removed. The only polishing it gets is when she works it off her finger. Its not for work, look at her nails. She doesnt work with her hands. So, what, or rather, who does she remove her rings for? Not one lover, shed never sustain the fiction of being single for that amount of time, so more likely a string of lovers. Simple. JW: Thats brilliant! (Sherlock gives him a look) JW: Sorry. DI L: Cardiff? SH: Its obvious, isnt it? JW: Its not obvious to me. SH: Dear god. What is it like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring(!) Her coat- its slightly damp, shes been in heavy rain for the last few hours- no rain anywhere in London in that time. Under her coat collar is damp, too. Shes turned it up against the wind. Shes got an umbrella in her left hand pocket, but its dry and unused. Not just wind, strong wind, too strong to use her umbrella. We know from her suitcase that she was intending to stay overnight, so she must have come a decent distance but she cant have traveled for more than two or three hours because her coat still hasnt dried. So, where has there been heavy rain and strong wind within the radius of that travel time? Cardiff. JW: Thats fantastic! SH: Do you know you do that out loud? JW: Sorry, Ill shut up.

SH: No, its fine. DI L: Why do you keep saying suitcase? SH: Yes, where is it? She must have had a phone or an organizer. Find out who Rachel is. DI L: She was writing Rachel? SH: No, she was writing an angry note in German(!) Of course she was writing Rachel, no other word it can be. But why would she wait until she was dying to write it? DI L: How do you know she had a suitcase? SH: Back of the right leg. Tiny splash marks on her right heel and calf not present on the left. She was dragging a wheeled suitcase behind her with her right hand. Dont get that splash pattern any other way. Smallish case, going by the spread. Case that size, woman this clothes- conscious- could only be an overnight bag, so we know she was only staying one night. Now where is it? What have you done with it? DI L: There wasnt a case. SH: Say that again. DI L: There wasnt a case. There was never any suitcase. SH: Suitcase! Did anyone find a suitcase? Was there a suitcase in this house? DI L: Sherlock, there was no case! SH: But they take the poison themselves, they chew, swallow the pills, themselves. There are clear signs, even you lot couldnt miss them. DI L: Right, yeah, thanks. And? SH: Its murder. All of them. I dont know how. But theyre not suicides, theyre serial killings. Weve got ourselves a serial killer. Love those. Theres always something to look forward to. DI L: Why are you saying that? SH: Her case! Come on, where is her case, did she eat it(?) Someone else was here, and they took her case. So the killer must have driven her here. Forgot the case was in the car. JW: She could have checked into a hotel, left her case there. SH: No, she never got to the hotel. Look at her hair! She color-coordinates her lipstick and her shoes! Shed never leave any hotel with her hair still looking Oh Oh! DI L: Sherlock, what is it, what? SH: Serial killers, always hard. Have to wait for them to make a mistake. DI L: We cant just wait. SH: Oh, were done waiting. Look at her, really look! Get on to Cardiff. Find out who Jennifer Wilsons family and friends were. Find Rachel! DI L: Of course, yeah but what mistake?! SH: PINK! A: Lets get on with it (Outside) Sgt. D: Hes gone. JW: Who, Sherlock Holmes? Sgt. D: Yeah, he just took off. He does that. JW: Is he coming back? Sgt. D: Didnt look like it. JW: Right. Right Yes. Sorry, where am I? Sgt. D: Brixton. JW: Alright, yeah, um, do you know where I can get a cab? Its just, er well, my leg. Sgt. D: (Sighs) (Lifts police tape) Try the main road. JW: Thanks. Sgt. D: But youre not his friend. He doesnt have friends. So who are you? JW: Im Im nobody. I just met him.

Sgt. D: Okay, a bit of advice then. Stay away from that guy. JW: Why? Sgt. D: You know why hes here? Hes not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it! The weirder the crime, the more he gets off- and you know what? One day just showing up wont be enough. One day well be standing around a body and Sherlock Holmesll be the one who put it there. JW: Why would he do that? Sgt. D: Because hes a psychopath. Psychopaths get bored. DI L: Donovan! Sgt. D: Coming! (As she starts to walk away,) Stay away from Sherlock Holmes. (Phone rings in phone booth) (Phone rings out) JW: Taxi! Taxi!! (Phone rings again) (Phone rings off abruptly) (Phone rings again, and Watson finally answers) JW: Hello? Mysterious Man: There is a security camera on the building to your left. Do you see it? JW: Whos this? Whos speaking? MM: Do you see the camera, Dr. Watson? JW: Yeah, I see it. MM: Watch (Camera turns away) MM: There is another camera on the building opposite to you. Do you see it? JW: Mm-hm. (Camera turns away) MM: And finally, at the top of the building to your right. (Camera whirrs) (Camera turns away) JW: How are you doing this? MM: Get into the car, Dr. Watson. I would make some sort of threat, but Im sure your situation is quite clear to you. (Cab door opens) (In the cab) JW: Hello. Anthea: Hi. JW: Whats your name, then? Anthea: Er Anthea. JW: Is that your real name? Anthea: No. JW: Im John. Anthea: Yes. I know. JW: Any point in asking where Im going? Anthea: None at all. John. JW: Okay. (Car pulls into warehouse parking lot) MM: Have a seat, John. JW: You know, Ive got a phone. I mean, very clever and all that, but, er you could just phone me. On my phone. MM: When one is avoiding the attention of Sherlock Holmes, one learns to be discreet, hence this place. Your leg must be hurting you. Sit down.

JW: (Quickly) I dont want to sit down. MM: You dont seem very afraid. JW: You dont seem very frightening. MM: (Chuckles) Yes The bravery of the soldier. Bravery is by far the kindest word for stupidity, dont you think? What is your connection to Sherlock Holmes? JW: I dont have one. I barely know him. I met him yesterday. MM: Mmm, and since yesterday youve moved in with him and now youre solving crimes together. Might we expect a happy announcement by the end of the week? JW: Who are you? MM: An interested party. JW: Interested in Sherlock? Why? Im guessing youre not friends. MM: Youve met him. How many friends do you imagine he has? I am the closest thing to a friend that Sherlock Holmes is capable of having. JW: And whats that? MM: An enemy. JW: An enemy? MM: In his mind, certainly. If you were to ask him, hed probably say his arch-enemy. He does love to be dramatic. JW: Well, thank god youre above all that(!) (Text message alert) Baker Street. Come at once if convenient. SH MM: I hope Im not distracting you. JW: Not distracting me at all. MM: Do you plan to continue your association with Sherlock Holmes? JW: I could be wrong but I think thats none of your business. MM: It could be. JW: It really couldnt. MM: If you do move into, um 221B Baker Street, Id be happy to pay you a meaningful sum of money on a regular basis to ease your way. JW: Why? MM: Because youre not a wealthy man. JW: In exchange for what? MM: Information. Nothing indiscreet. Nothing youd feel uncomfortable with. Just tell me what hes up to. JW: Why? MM: I worry about him. Constantly. JW: Thats nice of you. MM: But I would prefer for various reasons that my concern go unmentioned. We have what you might call a difficult relationship. (Text message alert) If inconvenient, come anyway. SH JW: No. MM: But I havent mentioned a figure. JW: Dont bother. MM: Youre very loyal, very quickly. JW: No, Im not, Im just not interested.

MM: Trust issues it says here. JW: (Gulps) Whats that? MM: Could it be that youve decided to trust Sherlock Holmes of all people? JW: Who says I trust him? MM: You dont seem the kind to make friends easily. JW: Are we done? MM: You tell me. I imagine people have already warned you to stay away from him, but I can see from your left hand thats not going to happen. JW: My what? MM: Show me. (Reaches for Watsons hand) JW: Dont. MM: Remarkable. JW: What is it? MM: Most people blunder around this city and all they see are streets and shops and cars. When you walk with Sherlock Holmes, you see the battlefield. Youve seen it already, havent you? JW: Whats wrong with my hand? MM: You have an intermittent tremor in your left hand. Your therapist thinks its posttraumatic stress disorder. She thinks youre haunted by memories of your military service. JW: (Quickly) Who the hell are you? How do you know that? MM: Fire her. Shes got it the wrong way. Youre under stress right now and your hand is perfectly steady. Youre not haunted by the war, Dr. Watson you miss it. Welcome back. Time to choose a side, Dr. Watson. (Text message alert) Could be dangerous. SH Anthea: Im to take you home. Address? JW: Er Baker Street. 221B Baker Street. But I need to stop off somewhere first. (Watson stops off at his old apartment to get his gun.) JW: Listen, your boss. Any chance you could not tell him this is where I went? Anthea: Sure. JW: Youve told him already, havent you? Anthea: Yeah. JW: Hey, um, do you ever get any free time? Anthea: Oh, yeah. Lots. Bye. JW: Okay. (Cab leaves) (Inside the apartment, Holmes is thinking) JW: What are you doing? SH: Nicotine patch. Helps me think. Impossible to sustain a smoking habit in London these days. Bad news for brain work. JW: Its good news for breathing. SH: Oh, breathing! Breathings boring. JW: Is that three patches? SH: Its a three patch problem. JW: Well? (No answer) You asked me to come, Im assuming its important. SH: (Pauses to think) Oh, yeah, of course. Can I borrow your phone? JW: My phone? SH: Dont want to use mine. Always a chance that my number will be recognized. Its

on the website. JW: Mrs. Hudsons got a phone. SH: Yeah. Shes downstairs. I shouted, but she didnt hear me. JW: I was on the other side of London. SH: There was no hurry. JW: Here. So whats this about- the case? SH: Her case JW: Her case? SH: Her suitcase, yes, obviously. The murderer took her suitcase, first big mistake. JW: Okay, he took her case. So? SH: Its no use. Theres no other way. Well have to risk it. On my desk, theres a number. I want you to send a text. JW: (Smiles) You brought me here to send a text. SH: Text. Yes. The number on my desk. Whats wrong? JW: Just met a friend of yours. SH: A friend?! JW: An enemy. SH: Oh. Which one? JW: Well, your arch-enemy, according to him. Do people have arch-enemies? SH: Did he offer you money to spy on me? JW: Yes. SH: Did you take it? JW: No. SH: Pity. We could have split the fee. Think it through next time. JW: Who is he? SH: The most dangerous man youve ever met and not my problem right now. On my desk, the number! JW: Jennifer Wilson. That was Hang on. Wasnt that the dead woman? SH: Yes, thats not important. Just enter the number. Are you doing it? JW: Yes. SH: Have you done it. JW: Yeah, hang on! SH: These words, exactly. What happened at Lauriston Gardens? I must have blacked out. 22 Northumberland Street, please come. JW: You blacked out? SH: What? No No! Type and send it. Quickly. Have you sent it? JW: Whats the address? SH: 22 Northumberland Street. Hurry up! JW: Thats Thats the pink ladys case. Thats Jennifer Wilsons case. SH: Yes, obviously. (Pause) Oh, perhaps I should mention, I didnt kill her. JW: I never said you did. SH: Why not? Given the text I just had you send and the fact that I have her case, its a perfectly logical assumption. JW: Do people usually assume youre the murderer? SH: (Smiles) Now and then, yes. JW: Okay How did you get this? SH: By looking. JW: Where? SH: The killer must have driven her to Lauriston Gardens. He could only keep her case by accident if it was in a car. Nobody could be seen with this case without drawing attention to themselves, particularly a man, which is statistically more likely. So obviously hed feel compelled to get rid of it the moment he noticed he still had it. Wouldnt have taken him more than five minutes to realize his mistake. I checked every backstreet wide enough for a car five minutes from Lauriston Gardens, and anywhere you could dispose of a bulky object without being observed. It took me less

than an hour to find the right skip. JW: Pink. You got all that because you realized the case would be pink? SH: It had to be pink, obviously. JW: Why didnt I think of that? SH: Because youre an idiot. No, no, dont look like that. Practically everyone is. Now look. Do you see whats missing? JW: From the case? How could I? SH: Her phone. Wheres her mobile phone? There was no phone on the body, there was no phone in the case. We know she had one. You just texted it. JW: Maybe she left it at home. SH: She has a string of lovers and shes careful about it. She never leaves her phone at home. JW: Er Why did I just send that text? SH: Well, the question is, where is her phone now? JW: She could have lost it. SH: Yes, or? JW: The murderer You think the murderer has the phone? SH: Maybe she left it when she left her case. Maybe he took it from her for some reason. Either way, the balance of probability is the murderer has her phone. JW: Sorry what are we doing? Did I just text a murderer? What good will that do? (Phone rings) (Withheld calling) SH: A few hours after the last victim, and now he receives a text that can only be from her. If somebody had just found that phone, theyd ignore a text like that. But the murderer would panic. (Closes the suitcase) JW: Have you talked to the police? SH: Four people are dead. There isnt time to talk to the police. JW: So why are you talking to me? SH: Mrs. Hudson took my skull. JW: So Im basically filling in for your skull? SH: Relax, youre doing fine. Well? JW: Well, what? SH: Well you could just sit there and watch telly. JW: You want me to come with you? SH: I like company when I go out and, uh, I think better when I talk aloud. The skull just attracts attention, so Problem? JW: Yeah, Sergeant Donovan. SH: What about her? JW: She said you get off on this, you enjoy it. SH: (Pauses and smiles) And I said dangerous, and here you are. (Leaves Watson alone) JW: Damnit! --(On the street) JW: Where are we going? SH: Northumberland Streets a five minute walk from here. JW: You think hes stupid enough to go there? SH: No, I think hes brilliant enough. I love the brilliant ones. Theyre always so desperate to get caught. JW: Why? SH: Appreciation! Applause! At long last the spotlight. Thats the frailty of genius,

John. It needs an audience. JW: Yeah. SH: This is his hunting ground. Right here in the heart of the city. Now that we know his victims were abducted, that changes everything. Because all of his victims disappeared from busy streets, crowded places, but nobody saw them go. Think! Who do we trust, even though we dont know them? Who passes unnoticed wherever they go? Who hunts in the middle of a crowd? JW: Dont know. Who? SH: Havent the faintest. Hungry? (Inside restaurant) SH: Thank you, Billy. (They are seated at the front table, by the window.) SH: 22 Northumberland Street. Keep your eyes on it. JW: Hes not just going to ring the doorbell, is he? Hed have to be mad. SH: He has killed four people. JW: Okay. Angelo: Sherlock! Anything on the menu, whatever you want, free. On the house, for you and for your date. SH: Do you want to eat? JW: Im not his date. Angelo: This man got me off a murder charge. SH: This is Angelo. Three years ago, I successfully proved to Lestrade, at the time of a particularly vicious triple murder, that Angelo was in a different part of town, house-breaking. Angelo: He cleared my name. SH: I cleared it a bit. Anything happening outside? Angelo: Nothing. But for this man, Id have gone to prison. SH: You did go to prison. Angelo: Ill get a candle for the table. Its more romantic. JW: Im not his date! SH: You may as well eat. We might have a long wait. (Angelo brings candle) JW: (Sarcastically) Thanks. (Later) People dont have arch-enemies. SH: Im sorry? JW: In real life. There are no arch-enemies in real life. Doesnt happen. SH: Doesnt it? Sounds a bit dull. JW: So who did I meet? SH: What do real people have, then, in their real lives? JW: Friends? Or people they know, people they like, people they dont like Girlfriends, boyfriends. SH: Yeah, well, as I was saying, dull. JW: You dont have a girlfriend, then? SH: Girlfriend? No, not really my area. JW: Mm. Oh, right. Do you have a boyfriend? Which is fine, by the way. SH: I know its fine. JW: So youve got a boyfriend, then? SH: No. JW: Right. Okay. Youre unattached. Like me. Fine. Good. SH: John, um I think you should know I consider myself married to my work and while Im flattered by your interest, Im really not looking for any JW: No, Im not asking. Im just saying, its all fine. SH: Good. Thank you. Look across the street. Taxi. Its stopped. Nobody getting in, nobody getting out. Why a taxi? Oh, thats clever. Is it clever? Why is it clever? JW: Thats him. SH: Dont stare.

JW: Youre staring. SH: We cant both stare. (They both quickly get out and leave, but Watson leaves his cane) (A car honks, and Holmes is almost hit by a car) JW: Sorry Ive got the cab number. SH: Good for you. (Sherlock opens up his mind into a road map to find the route the cab is taking.) SH: Right turn, one way, roadworks, traffic lights, bus lane, pedestrian crossing, left turn only, traffic lights. (Sherlock bumps into a pedestrian) Man: Oi! JW: Sorry! (Sherlock and John sprint through London through and alternative route to meet up with the questionable cab. rider) (Tires squeal) SH: Come on, John SH: (Later) Come on, John. Were losing him! SH: (Later) This way. No, this way! JW: Sorry (The two finally meet up with the cab and stop the cab) SH: Police! Open her up. (Panting) No Teeth, tan. What Californian? LA, Santa Monica. Just arrived. JW: How can you possibly know that? SH: The luggage. (Luggage tag says, LAX) SH: Probably your first trip to London, right? Going by your final destination and the route the cabbie was taking you. Californian: Sorry, are you guys the police? SH: Yeah. (Flashes fake police ID) Everything alright? Californian: (Confused) Yeah. SH: (Smiles) Welcome to London. JW: Er, any problems, just let us know. JW: Basically just a cab that happened to slow down. SH: Basically. JW: Not the murderer. SH: Not the murderer, no. JW: Wrong country, good alibi. SH: As they go. JW: Hey, where did you get this? Detective Inspector Lestrade? SH: Yeah. I pickpocket him when hes annoying. You can keep that one. Ive got plenty at the flat. (Watson laughs) SH: What? JW: Nothing, just Welcome to London. (Holmes sniggers) (Californian describes and points at Sherlock and John to a real cop.) SH: Got your breath back? JW: Ready when you are. (The two run back to their apartment.) ---

JW: That was ridiculous. That was the most ridiculous thing Ive ever done. SH: And you invaded Afghanistan. (They laugh) JW: That wasnt just me. Why arent we back at the restaurant? SH: They can keep an eye out. It was a long shot anyway. JW: So what were we doing there? SH: (Catches breath) Oh, just passing the time. And proving a point. JW: What point? SH: You. Mrs. Hudson! Dr. Watson will take the room upstairs. JW: Says who? SH: Says the man at the door. (Angelo knocks and Watson opens) Angelo: Sherlock texted me. He said you forgot this. (Hands Watson his cane) JW: Ah (Looks at Sherlock, he is smiling) Er Thank you. Thank you. Mrs. H: Sherlock, what have you done? SH: Mrs. Hudson? Mrs. H: Upstairs. (Upstairs, Lestrade is waiting for him.) SH: What are you doing? DI L: Well, I knew youd find the case. Im not stupid. SH: You cant just break into my flat. DI L: You cant withhold evidence- and I didnt break into your flat. SH: Well, then, what do you call this, then? DI L: Its a drugs bust. JW: Seriously? This guy- a junkie? Have you met him? SH: John JW: Im pretty sure you could search this flat all day and you wouldnt find anything you could call recreational. SH: John, you probably want to shut up now. JW: Yeah, but come on. (Sherlock gives him a mean stare.) JW: No SH: What? JW: You? SH: Shut up! (To Lestrade) Im not your sniffer dog. DI L: No, Andersons my sniffer dog. SH: Wha- An (Anderson waves) SH: Anderson, what are you doing here on a drugs bust? A: Oh, I volunteered. DI L: They all did. Theyre not strictly speaking on the drug squad, but theyre very keen. Sgt. D: Are these human eyes? SH: Put them back! Sgt. D: They were in the microwave. SH: Its an experiment. DI L: Keep looking, guys. Or you could start helping us properly, and Ill stand them down. SH: This is childish. DI L: Well, Im dealing with a child. Sherlock, this is our case. Im letting you in, but you do not go off on your own. Clear? SH: Oh, so, so, so you set up a pretend drugs bust to bully me? DI L: It stops being pretend if we find anything. SH: I am clean. DI L: Is your flat? All of it?

SH: I dont even smoke. (Sherlock shows his nicotine patches) DI L: Neither do I. (Lestrade shows his nicotine patches, too.) DI L: So lets work together. Weve found Rachel. SH: Who is she? DI L: Jennifer Wilsons only daughter. SH: Her daughter? Why would she write her daughters name? Why? A: Never mind that, we found the case. According to someone, the murderer has the case, and we found it in the hands of our favorite psychopath. SH: Im not a psychopath. Im a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research. (To Lestrade) You need to bring Rachel in to question her. I need to question her. DI L: Shes dead. SH: (Quickly) Excellent. How, when, and why? Is there a connection? There has to be. DI L: Well, I doubt it since shes been dead for 14 years. Technically, she was never alive. Rachel was Jennifer Wilsons stillborn daughter, 14 years ago. SH: Oh, thats thats not right. How why would she do that? Why? A: Why would she think of her daughter in her last moments? Yep- sociopath. Im seeing it now. SH: She didnt think about her daughter. She scratched the name on the floor with her fingernails. She was dying. It took effort. It would of hurt. JW: You said that the victims all took the poison themselves, that he makes them take it. Well, maybe he I dont know, talks to them. Maybe he used the death of her daughter somehow. SH: Yeah, but that was ages ago. Why would she still be upset? (Awkward pause) Not good? JW: Bit not good, yeah. SH: If you were dying, if youd been murdered, in your very last few seconds, what would you say? JW: Please God, let me live. SH: Use your imagination! JW: I dont have to. SH: Yeah, but if you were clever, really clever. Jennifer Wilson, running all those lovers, she was clever. Shes trying to tell us something. Mrs. H: Isnt the doorbell working? Your taxis here, Sherlock. SH: I didnt order a taxi. Go away. Mrs. H: Oh, dear. Theyre making such a mess. What are they looking for? JW: Its a drugs bust, Mrs. Hudson. Mrs. H: But theyre just for my hip. Theyre herbal soothers. SH: Shut up, everybody! Shut up! Dont move, dont speak, dont breathe. Im trying to think. Anderson, face the other way. Youre putting me off. A: What? My face is(?) DI L: Everybody quiet and still. Anderson turn your back. A: Oh, for Gods sake! DI L: Your back, now, please! SH: Come on, think. Quick! Mrs. H: What about your taxi? SH: MRS. HUDSON! (She runs off) Oh Ah! She was clever. Clever clever, yes! Shes cleverer than you lot and shes dead. Do you see? Do you get it? She didnt lose her phone, she never lost it. She planted it on him. When she got out of the car, she knew that she was going to her death. She left the phone in order to lead us to her killer. DI L: But how? SH: What, what do you mean, how? Rachel! Dont you see? Rachel! (Everybody stares at Holmes like he is crazy.) Oh Look at you lot. Youre all so vacant. Is it nice

not being me? It must be so relaxing. Rachel is not a name. JW: Then what is it(?) SH: John, on the luggage, theres a label. E-mail address. JW: Er, jennie.pink@mephone.org.uk SH: Ah, we know she didnt have a laptop, which means she did her business on her phone. So its a smartphone. Its e-mail enabled. So there was a website for her account. The username is her e-mail address, and all together now, the password is? JW: Rachel. A: So we can read her e-mails. So what? SH: Anderson, dont talk out loud. You lower the IQ of the whole street. We can do much more than just read her e-mails. Its a smartphone, its got GPS. Which means if you lose it, you can locate it online. Shes leading us directly to the man who killed her. DI L: Unless he got rid of it. JW: We know he didnt. SH: Come on, come on. Quickly! Mrs. H: Sherlock, dear. This taxi driver SH: Mrs. Hudson, isnt it time for your evening soother? (To Lestrade) Get vehicles, get a helicopter. Weve got to move fast. This phone battery wont last forever. DI L: Well just have a map reference, not a name. SH: Its a start! JW: Sherlock SH: Narrows it down from just anyone in London. Its the first proper lead that weve had. JW: Sherlock SH: Where is it? Quickly, where? JW: Its here Its in 221 Baker Street. SH: How can it be here? How? DI L: Well, maybe it was in the case when you brought it back, and it fell out somewhere. SH: And I didnt notice it? Me? I didnt notice? JW: Anyway, we texted him, and he called back. DI L: (Fading voice) Guys, were also looking for a mobile somewhere here, belonged to the victim. (Sherlocks narration) Who do we trust, even if we dont know them? Who passes unnoticed wherever they go? Who hunts in the middle of a crowd? (Taxi driver comes up behind Mrs. Hudson and sends Holmes a text.) (Text message alert) COME WITH ME JW: Sherlock, are you okay? SH: What? Yeah, yeah Im fine. JW: So, how can the phone be here? SH: Dont know. JW: Ill try it again. SH: Good idea (He starts to walk off.) JW: Where are you going? SH: Fresh air, just popping outside for a moment. Wont be long. JW: Are you sure youre all right? SH: Im fine. (He runs down the stairs)

--(Sherlock opens the door, and the murderer cabbie is waiting.) Cabbie: Taxi for Sherlock Holmes. SH: I didnt order a taxi. Cabbie: Doesnt mean you dont need one. SH: Youre the cabbie. The one who stopped outside Northumberland Street. It was you. Not your passenger. Cabbie: See? No one ever thinks about the cabbie. Its like youre invisible. Just the back of an ead. Proper advantage for a serial killer. SH: Is this a confession? Cabbie: Oh, yeah. Ill tell you what else. If you call the coppers now, I wont run. Ill sit quiet and they can take me down. SH: Why? Cabbie: Cos youre not gonna do that. SH: Am I not? Cabbie: I didnt kill those four people, Mr. Holmes. I spoke to em and they killed themselves. If you get the coppers now, Ill promise you one thing. I will never tell you what I said. SH: No one else will die, though, and I believe they call that a result. Cabbie: Then you wont ever understand how those people died. What kind of result do you care about? SH: If I wanted to understand what would I do? Cabbie: Let me take you for a ride. SH: So you can kill me too? Cabbie: I dont want to kill you, Mr. Holmes. Im gonna talk to you and youre gonna kill yourself. (Sherlock gets in) (Upstairs, Watson watches through the window. JW: He just got in a cab Its Sherlock, he just drove off it a cab. Sgt. D: I told you, he does that. He bloody left again. Were wasting our time! JW: Im calling the phone its ringing out. (Back in the cab, the phone rings.) DI L: And if its ringing, its not here. JW: Ill try the search again. Sgt. D: Does it matter? Does any of it? Hes hes just a lunatic, and hell always let you down. And youre wasting your time. All our time. DI L: Okay, everybody done here. (Back in the cab) SH: How did you find me? Cabbie: Oh, I recognized you. Soon as I saw you chasing my cab. Sherlock Holmes! I was warned about you. Ive been on your website, too. Brilliant stuff! Loved it. SH: Who warned you about me? Cabbie: Just someone out there whos noticed. SH: Who? Who would notice me? Cabbie: Youre too modest, Mr. Holmes. SH: Im really not. Cabbie: Got yourself a fan. SH: Tell me more. Cabbie: Thats all youre gonna know. In this lifetime. (Back at 221B Baker Street)

DI L: Why did he do that? Why did he have to leave? JW: You know him better than I do. DI L: Ive known him for five years and, no, I dont. JW: So why do you put up with him? DI L: Because Im desperate, thats why. And because Sherlock Holmes is a great man, and I think one day, if were very, very lucky, he might even be a good one. (In the cab) (Cab stops) SH: Where are we? Cabbie: You know every street in London. You know exactly where we are. SH: Roland-Kerr Further Education College. Why here? Cabbie: Its open. Cleaners are in. One thing about being a cabbie- you always know a nice quiet spot for a murder. Im surprised more of us dont branch out. SH: And you just walk your victims in? How? (Cabbie holds up a gun) SH: Oh dull. Cabbie: Dont worry It gets better. SH: You cant just make people take their own lives at gunpoint! Cabbie: I dont. Its much better than that. Dont need this with you. Cos youll follow me. (Sherlock gets out) (Back at the apartment) (Computer is beeping, Watson starts to run) (Sherlock and the cabbie walk into a room in the college) Cabbie: Well, what do you think? Its up to you. Youre the one whos gonna die here. SH: No Im not. Cabbie: Thats what they all say. Shall we talk? SH: Bit risky, wasnt it? Took me away under the eye of about half a dozen policemen. Theyre not that stupid. And Mrs. Hudson will remember you. Cabbie: You call that a risk? Nah This is a risk. (Takes out a bottled pill) Cabbie: Oh, I like this bit. Cos you dont get it yet, do ya? But youre about to. I just have to do this (Takes out another identical pill) Werent expecting that, were ya? Oh, youre gonna love this SH: Love what? Cabbie: Sherlock Holmes Look at you! Here in the flesh. That website of yours, your fan told me about it. SH: My fan? Cabbie: You are brilliant. You are a proper genius. The Science of Deduction. Now, that is proper thinking. Between you and me sitting here, why cant people think? Dont it make you mad? Why cant people just think? SH: Oh, I see so youre a proper genius, too. Cabbie: Dont look it, do I? Funny little man, driving a cab. But youll know better in a minute. Chances are itll be the last thing youll ever know. SH: Okay, two bottles. Explain. Cabbie: Theres a good bottle and a bad bottle. You take the pill from the good bottle, you live. You take the pill from the bad bottle, you die. SH: Both bottles are of course, identical. Cabbie: In every way. SH: And you know which is which. Cabbie: Of course I know.

SH: But I dont. Cabbie: Wouldnt be a game if you knew, youre the one who chooses. SH: Why should I? Ive got nothing to go on. Whats in it for me? Cabbie: I havent told you the best bit yet. Whatever bottle you choose, I take the pill from the other one. And then together we take our medicine. I wont cheat. Its your choice. Ill take whatever pill you dont. Didnt expect that, did you, Mr. Holmes? SH This is what you did to the others? You gave them a choice? Cabbie: And now Im giving you one. You take your time. Get yourself together. I want your best game. SH: Its not a game. Its chance. Cabbie: Ive played four times, Im alive. Its not chance, Mr. Holmes- its chess. Its a game of chess, with one move and one survivor. And this, this is the move. (Moves one of the bottles forwards towards Holmes) Cabbie: Did I just give you the good bottle, or the bad bottle? You can choose either one. (Watson is in his own cab, rushing to get to Sherlock) JW: No, Detective Inspector Lestrade- I need to speak to him. Its important. Its an emergency. Er left here, please. Left here. (Back in the college) Cabbie: You ready yet, Mr. Holmes? Ready to play? SH: Play what? Its 50:50, chance. Cabbie: Youre not playing the numbers, youre playing me! Did I just give you the good pill or the bad pill? Is it a bluff or a double bluff? Or a triple bluff? SH: Its still just chance. Cabbie: Four people in a row? Its not chance. SH: Luck. Cabbie: Its genius! I know how people think. I know how people think I think. I can see it all, like a map inside my head. Everyones so stupid, even you. Or maybe God just loves me. SH: Either way, youre wasted as a cabbie. (Watson is outside with his own game of chance- trying to pick which building Holmes and the serial killer went into. He picks the one on the left) SH: So you risked your life four times just to kill strangers. Why? Cabbie: Time to play. SH: Oh, I am playing. This is my turn. Theres shaving foam behind your left ear. Nobodys pointed it out to you. Traces of where its happened before, so obviously you live on your own, theres no one to tell you. But theres a photograph of children. The childrens mothers been cut out of the picture. If she died, shed still be there. Photographs old, but the frames new. You think of your children but you dont get to see them. Estranged father. She took the kids, but you still love them, and it still hurts. Ah, but theres more. Your clothes. Recently laundered, but everything youre wearing is at least three years old? Keeping up appearances, but not planning ahead. And here you are on a kamikaze murder spree. Whats that about? Ah three years ago. Is that when they told you? Cabbie: Told me what? SH: That youre a dead man walking. Cabbie: So are you. SH: You dont have long, though. Am I right? Cabbie: (Smiles) Aneurism. Right in ere. Any breath could be my last. SH: And because youre dying, youve just murdered four people. Cabbie: Ive outlived four people. Thats the most fun you can have on an aneurism.

SH: No No, theres something else. You didnt just kill four people because youre bitter. Bitterness is a paralytic. Love is a much more vicious motivator. Somehow, this is about your children. Cabbie: Oh You are good, int ya? SH: But how? Cabbie: When I die, they wont get much, my kids. Not a lot of money in driving cabs. SH: Or serial killing. Cabbie: Youd be surprised. SH: Surprise me. Cabbie: I have a sponsor. SH: You have a what? Cabbie: For every life I take, money goes to my kids. The more I kill, the better off theyll be. You see? Its nicer than you think. SH: Whod sponsor a serial killer? Cabbie: Whod be a fan of Sherlock Holmes? Youre not the only one to enjoy a good murder. Theres others out there, just like you, except youre just a man. And theyre so much more than that. SH: What do you mean more than a man? An organization, what? Cabbie: Theres a name that no one says. And Im not gonna say it either. Now, enough chatter. Time to choose. (Watson is chasing through the building to find Sherlock) JW: Sherlock! Sherlock! (Back with the cabbie) SH: What if I dont choose either? I could just walk out of here. (The cabbie holds up a gun) Cabbie: You could take the 50:50 chance, or I can shoot you in the head. Funnily enough, no ones ever gone for that option. SH: Ill have the gun please. Cabbie: Are you sure? SH: Definitely. The gun. Cabbie: You dont want to phone a friend(?) SH: The gun. (The gun turns out to be just a lighter) SH: I know a real gun when I see one. Cabbie: None of the others did. SH: Clearly. Well, this has been very interesting. I look forward to the court case. Cabbie: Just before you go, did you figure it out? Which ones the good bottle? SH: Course. Childs play. Cabbie: Well, which one then? Which one would you have picked? Just so I know whether I could have beaten you. Come on! Play the game. (Sherlock takes the bottle closest to the cabbie.) Cabbie: Oh! Interesting. So what do you think? Shall we? Really what do you think? Can you beat me? Are you clever enough to bet your life? (We can see through the window that Watson chose the wrong building!) JW: (Muffled) SHERLOCK!! Cabbie: I bet you get bored, dont you? I know you do. A man like you. So clever. But whats the point of being clever if you cant prove it? Still the addict. But this this is what youre really addicted to. Youll do anything anything at all to stop being bored. Youre not bored now, are ya? Isnt it good(GUNSHOT)

(The cabbie is shot through the windows of both buildings by Watson, but he runs away before Sherlock could see who shot the bullet.) (The cabbie is dying, gasping on the floor.) SH: Was I right? I was, wasnt I? Did I get it right? (He throws the pill down at the cabbie in anger) SH: Okay, tell me this. Your sponsor, who was it? The one who told you about me, my fan. I want a name. Cabbie: No SH: Youre dying, but theres still time to hurt you. Give me a name. (He steps on the cabbies gunshot wound, and the cabbie cries from the pain) SH: A name! Now! THE NAME! Cabbie: MORIARTY! (Sherlock mouths Moriarty.) --(Outside with the police) SH: Why have I got this blanket? They keep putting this blanket on me. DI L: Yeah, its for shock. SH: Im not in shock. DI L: Yeah, but some of the guys want to take photographs. SH: So the shooter- no sign? DI L: Cleared off before we got here. But a guy like that would have had enemies, I suppose. One of them could have been following him, but weve got nothing to go on. SH: Oh, I wouldnt say that. DI L: Okay. Give me. SH: The bullet theyve just dug out of the walls from a handgun. A kill shot over that distance from that kind of a weapon, thats a crack shot. But not just a marksman, a fighter. His hands couldnt have shaken at all, so clearly hes acclimatized to violence. He didnt fire until I was in immediate danger though, so strong moral principle. Youre looking for a man probably with a history of military service and nerves of steel Actually, do you know what? Ignore me. DI L: Sorry? SH: Ignore all of that. Its just the, er the shock talking. DI L: Where are you going? SH: I just need to talk about the the rent. DI L: But Ive still got questions for you. SH: Oh, what now?! Look, Im in shock- Ive got a blanket. DI L: Sherlock! SH: And I just caught you a serial killer. More or less. DI L: Okay. Well put you in tomorrow. Off you go. (Sherlock goes over to Watson) JW: Erm Sergeant Donovans just been explaining everything. Two pills Dreadful business, isnt it? Dreadful. SH: Good shot. JW: Yes. Yes, must have been. Through that window. SH: Well, youd know. Need to get the powder burns out of your fingers. I dont suppose youd serve time for this, but lets avoid the court case. Are you all right? JW: Yes, of course Im all right. SH: Well, you have just killed a man. JW: Yes, I Thats true, isnt it? But he wasnt a very nice man.

SH: No. No, he wasnt, really, was he? JW: Frankly, a bloody awful cabbie. (Sherlock chuckles) SH: Thats true, he was a bad cabbie. You should have seen the route he took us to get there. JW: (Laughs) Stop it! We cant giggle, its a crime scene. Stop it. SH: Youre the one who shot him. JW: Keep your voice down! SH: Sorry, its just, erm nerves, I think. JW: You were going to take that damn pill, werent you? SH: Course I wasnt. Biding my time. Knew youd turn up. JW: No, you didnt. Thats how you get your kicks, isnt it? You risk your life to prove youre clever. SH: Why would I do that? JW: Because youre an idiot. SH: (Smiles) Dinner? JW: Starving. SH: End of Baker Street, theres a good Chinese. Stays open till two. You can always tell a good Chinese by the bottom third of the door handle. JW: Sherlock thats him. Thats the man I was talking to you about. SH: I know exactly who that is. Mycroft (Mysterious Man): So another case cracked. How very public spirited. Though thats never really your motivation, is it? SH: What are you doing here? Mycroft: As ever, Im concerned about you. SH: Yes, Ive been hearing about your concern. Mycroft: Always so aggressive. Did it never occur to you that you and I belong on the same side? SH: Oddly enough, no. Mycroft: We have more in common than youd like to believe. This petty feud between us is simply childish. People will suffer. And you know how it always upset Mummy. SH: I upset her? Me? It wasnt me that upset her, Mycroft. JW: No. No, wait Mummy? Whos Mummy? SH: Mother. Our mother. This is my brother, Mycroft. Putting on weight again? Mycroft: Losing it, in fact. JW: Hes your brother? SH: Course hes my brother. JW: So hes notSH: Not what? JW: I dont know criminal mastermind? SH: Close enough. Mycroft: For goodness sake, I occupy a minor position in the British government. SH: He is the British government, when hes not too busy being the British Secret Service, or the CIA on a freelance basis. Good evening, Mycroft. Try not to start a war until I get home, you know what it does for the traffic. (He walks off, leaving Watson) JW: So so when you say youre concerned about him, you actually are concerned? Mycroft: Yes, of course. JW: It actually is a childish feud? Mycroft: Hes always been so resentful. You can imagine the Christmas dinners. JW: Yeah (Realizes) No God, no. Id better, erm Hello again. Anthea: Hello. JW: Yes, we met earlier on this evening. Anthea: Oh!

JW: Okay. Good night. Mycroft: Good night, Dr. Watson. JW: So, dim sum. SH: Mmm! I can always predict the fortune cookies. JW: No, you cant. SH: Almost can. You did get shot, though. JW: Sorry? SH: In Afghanistan. There was an actual wound. JW: Oh. Yeah, shoulder. SH: Shoulder! I thought so. JW: No, you didnt. SH: The left one. JW: Lucky guess. SH: I never guess. JW: Yes, you do. What are you so happy about? SH: Moriarty. JW: Whats Moriarty? SH: Ive absolutely no idea. Anthea: Sir, shall we go? Mycroft: Interesting, that soldier fellow. He could be the making of my brother or make him worse than ever. Either way, wed better upgrade their surveillance status. Grade 3 active. Anthea: Sorry, sir- whose status? Mycroft: Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. (Holmes and Watson walk off together, smiling.)