Jenny Pirot Professor Powell ENC 3241 2 February 2013 Critical Analysis of Technical Reports A tremendous amount of thought,

time, and effort goes into writing a technical paper. The author must not only have ideas worth sharing, but he must also express them in a clear, concise, and elegant manner. Daniel Lynch and Jeff Terrace were two students who wrote technical papers. Daniel Lynch wrote The Art of Digital Publishing, which explores a way for experts to express their ideas without being restricted by limited programming skills. Jeff Terrace, on the other hand, wrote Content Conditioning and Distribution for Dynamic Virtual Worlds, which is about creating more complex virtual worlds in video games. Each author had strengths and weaknesses in his work. When examining each paper, it is important to note matters such as effectiveness of communication, design principles, syntax and cadence, and areas of improvement. Through scrutinizing these details, it is then possible to determine which author wrote the strongest report. The primary goal of writing a technical paper is to communicate ideas. Lynch and Terrace use similar techniques for communicating their knowledge. Both use examples, which help clarify concepts to the reader. Lynch presents a Calculus example to illustrate how to ingrain difficult concepts into the minds of middle school children. Similarly, Terrace gives examples of video games, such as Call of Duty or The Sims, which are likely to be familiar to the reader. Despite the use of examples, Lynch struggles with conveying his ideas. This is mainly due to his use of run-on sentences. Lynch writes, Gleaning knowledge from aggregate arts and

sciences, the creation of supplemental learning tools, used by teachers and students, through poly-sensory experiences, can build solid foundations as a precursor to our future's successful and meaningful experiences in higher education (8). This one sentence took up a whole paragraph. Its a shame that Lynch may have brilliant ideas, but they go to waste by not being expressed in a concise manner. Terrace, on the other hand, uses short and to-the-point sentences. He opens up his abstract with, Metaverses are three-dimensional virtual worlds where anyone can add and script new objects (Terrace iii). Such direct sentences enable him to communicate effectively. Design is an important aspect of a technical paper. Terrace and Lynch both constructed papers with excellent formatting. The papers were divided into meaningful subsections, which made the works very organized. Also, both authors used figures to make their works visually pleasing. Lynch, however, not only struggles with long sentences but also with unnecessarily lengthy paragraphs. His abstract, for instance, consisted of a single paragraph which covered a whole page. Terrace was wiser and divided his abstract into several short paragraphs. This design helps the reader mentally organize the information better. Syntax and cadence both aid in making writing flow. Lynch sometimes used awkward wording in his sentences. For example, he wrote, It was in 1962 when J.C.R was asked to take command of (Lynch 19). Perhaps the sentence would have sounded nicer had he written, In 1962, J.C.R took command of Lynchs many lengthy sentences also impeded the flow of his work. Terrace, on the other hand, provided a mix of short and long sentences. He writes, One such application is the simulation of three-dimensional virtual spaces. Once only available exclusively in the realm of supercomputing, the early 1990s gave rise to the first widely-

successful commercial 3D applications (Terrace 1). Such a combination of short and long sentences is pleasant to read. Of course, every writer has his strengths and weaknesses. Lynch demonstrated his elevated vocabulary in his work. Words such as myriad and edifying prevent his writing from sounding elementary. However, if he were to revise his work, I would recommend that he proofread for typos. I found several sentences that included careless mistakes, such as this could be next next evolution of his text (Lynch 8), or this projects serves twofold (Lynch 9). These mistakes can easily be avoided. As for Terrace, his work was very clear and easy to read. The only thing I might recommend is placing a picture or diagram near the beginning of chapter five, since there are several pages without a visual aid. Overall, it is clear that both Lynch and Terrace put a lot of hard work into creating their reports. However, Terrace had a much stronger report. He communicated his ideas effectively through concise sentences; his paper had a well-organized design; and his syntax and cadence gave his work a pleasant flow. Both Lynch and Terrace are most likely very intelligent, but Terraces writing skills enable him to demonstrate and share his knowledge with the rest of the world.