Uptown Magazine April 2009

2009
issuu April 09.indd 1 3/24/2009 12:31:00 PM

Breast
Enhancement
Body
Contouring
Surgery after
Weight Loss
Fat Transfer
Labiaplasty
Face
Skincare
At Metrolina Plastic Surgery, 10620 Park Road

Building 400, Suite 102
we realize that change is inevitable. Charlotte, NC 28210
Edward J. Bednar, M.D.
We've undergone our own transformation and Broc L. Pratt, M.D.
we welcome you to come see what's different.

One thing that hasn't changed is our dedication
to individual care and natural looking results.
redeﬁne change Botox®

Beginnings
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Pricing first
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photos © iStockphoto.com/Yuri_Arcurs
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Free Seminar – April 15th 6:30-8:00pm

Find out about all the lastest trends. Incentive pricing for attendees.
Hors d’oeuvres will be served. Seating is Limited. RSVP 704.541.7654
• Anyone who wants younger, healthier skin can benefit from the Vi Peel
• Improve the tone, texture and clarity of the skin
• Reduce or eliminate age spots, freckles and hyper-pigmentation
• Soften lines and wrinkles
• Stimulate the production of collagen and elastin for firmer skin
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Get your Glow On with our fabulous skincare incentives:

Introductory Facial $55.00 (Eminence treatment only) + 10% Off all skincare products
They won’t stay like this forever...
...interest rates, that is.

That’s why now is the time to buy.
And to sweeten any deal in which I represent a buyer or seller,
I will donate $1000 to the Humane Society at closing,
because humans aren’t the only ones affected by recession.
Scott Lindsley
704.906.1645
scottlindsley@urbanrealtync.com

ELEMENT on Craig Ave: Spacious, green living spaces from the $420s.
Charlotte’s premier modern, single-family community.
• With rates as low as 4.75%, now is the time to buy.
• Up to $10,100 available in Federal Tax Credits.
• Features 10’-19’ ceilings, outdoor living with fireplaces, covered parking.
• HERS Rating 62: homes are 38% more efficient than standard home.
• Solar panel options available.
CALL TODAY AND MAKE AN APPOINTMENT TO SEE OUR MODEL HOME.
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704.375.3408
4547 Craig Ave.
Charlotte, NC 28211
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Townhomes with Garages
in Uptown & South Park!
From the $180’s From the $270’s

1 mile from South Park Mall & Lynx Light Rail Station. Located in the popular Gateway Center Area of 4th Ward.
Tour 6 Decorated Model Homes, Open Daily! Enjoy the Best Value per Square Foot in Uptown!
• 1,747 to 4,500 sq.ft. • 2 to 4 bedrooms and 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 baths • 1,704 sq.ft. • 3 to 4 bedrooms • 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 baths
with owner’s bedroom up or down • 1 or 2-car attached garage • Rear entry 2-car attached garage • Huge great room
• Bonus room, loft & rec rooms available • Gated entrance • Dining room • Eat-in kitchen • Study • Walk-in closets
with clubhouse, fitness center & pool • And so much more!
(704) 643-7112 (704) 334-0375

Directions: I-77 to Exit 5/Tyvola Rd. Go East 2.6 mi. toward South Park Mall. Right Directions: I-77 N to Fifth St/Trade St. (Exit 10). Cross Over Trade St. Turn right on
on Park Rd. Go .5 mi. to right on Archdale Dr. Go 0.7 mi. to left into community on Fifth St. Travel .2 mi. Turn left on N. Sycamore St. –OR– I-77 S to Fifth St/Trade St.
Park Royal Avenue. Model homes ahead on right. (Exit 10C) East. Turn right on W. Fifth St. Travel .2 mi. Turn left on N. Sycamore St.
Model Hours:
Sun–Mon. 12-6, Tues.–Sat. 10-6 Welcoming Families Home
for Over 60 Years
Prices and offers subject to change without notice. See a Sales and Marketing Representative for details.
For More Information, Visit RyanHomesUM.com

Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre offers one of the most unique
atmospheres to entertain you and your clients.
‘09 season ticket holders We offer an unmatched season ticket program with box suites
will enjoy artists such as: and season seats available now for the 2009 concert season.
Jimmy Buffett
No Doubt All season ticket packages include the following amenities:
Coldplay • Membership to our Private VIP Club
George Strait • VIP Parking Passes to each concert
Nickelback • Private VIP Entrance into the venue
Dave Matthews • Guaranteed location for every show
Rascal Flatts • Ability to order additional tickets
and many more! • Advance notice of upcoming events
Complementary front row parking space for every concert this summer
with purchase of your season tickets and mention of this ad!
For more information and available locations please contact

the Director of Premium Seats Sales!
Cat Obleski • 704.887.6514 • catobleski@livenation.com
pictures: fenix fotography
effie loukas and chris langston
speakers from the american cancer society

offered tips on living longer, healthier lives
New clothes, new cars, and a new

you all came together on a fantastic
night benefiting the American Cancer
Society. The new Miss North Carolina
strutted down the red carpet at the
Mercedes-Benz dealership of South
Charlotte, and everyone enjoyed
healthy cooking from Just Fresh. The
good karma started early and flowed
freely all night long.
miss north carolina amanda watson
charlotte overman and shelly boyd

uptown
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The finest offerings from shoes and inserts. for this location only.
our Uptown Walk Away the Stress of Your Day!
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ing
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*
uptown
Sheri Joseph is a Charlotte native Celina Marann Jim McGuire Up-and-coming Erin Kasari is the
true Uptown mama. If Matt Kokenes is Mincey is an has been doing graphic designer creator and editor of
she isn’t chasing after no stranger to the emerging artist in commercial and Benjamin Gelnett TheLuckyLoop.com,
her two young sons, media-sales business many forms. She is fashion photography contributes this an online directory
Sheri is writing for our in the Queen City. the editor of Central and video since month’s cover that promotes and
blog, working on her He has been selling Speak, a community 1986. Clients include illustration. Along supports Charlotte’s
first book, volunteer- both print and magazine. As a fashion designer with poster independent, locally
ing, or hanging out television for almost singer/songwriter, Otilio Salazar, GQ exhibitions at the Art owned businesses
with her husband, MJ. seven years. Through she is beginning and Modern Bride. Institutes of Charlotte and non-profit or-
She is originally from perseverance and to perform locally His work has been and Indianapolis, Ben ganizations. She’s
Texas and knows the intestinal fortitude, while completing printed in Japan, Italy, was featured in Print an avid freelance
best Texas ribs and Matt has shown he an album in the Venezuela, Turkey, Magazine’s Regional writer and shopping
margaritas in town has the toughness studio. Capturing and Holland. Jim Design Annual this diva – always on the
can be found at her to succeed in this people with a lens as has lived in Plaza past December. When lookout for great gifts
house. When she’s not business and was well as with words, Midwood since 1985 he’s not organizing, at dime-store prices.
scouring the city for recently promoted Celina is a freelance and is known for promoting, or Erin has made Char-
her next article she to Ad Director for photographer throwing outrageous participating in local lotte her home for the
can be found at home the magazine. Shake and dabbles in oil parties. To top it all art and music events last eight years and,
eating bonbons with Matt’s hand if you see painting. This month off, he’s a father, too! he enjoys camping when not musing on
her children locked in him—he deserves it, Celina sees the future See Jim’s photography with his wife Kara and Japanese minimalism,
a closet. plus he looks much through the eyes throughout the all his friends.Visit she enjoys being the
better in person. of seven leaders in magazine or at smackhound.com center of attention of
Uptown. jimmcguire.com. her husband and two
dogs.
IS A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP
ONLY A DREAM FOR
YOU AND YOUR CHILD?
UNTREATED SLEEP DISORDERS

ARE ASSOCIATED WITH OBESITY,
DIABETES AND DEPRESSION IN
CHILDREN AND ADULTS.
Presbyterian Family Sleep Center is dedicated to
Chris Wooten is
providing a warm and relaxing environment for
Freelance writer SIGNAL is a design,
a designer, artist, Andy Graves spent production, and patients, especially women and children, where sleep
builder of tree houses, his childhood and creative editorial problems are evaluated and treated by an experienced
father, and avid teenage years on a studio focused on and caring staff. Our physician, Carolyn Hart, MD, is
traveler who is known small, muddy dairy creating engaging board-certified in sleep medicine, pediatric and adult
for a neurotically farm in upstate New and entertaining neurology. With 16 years experience in this specialty,
meticulous attention York. He came by work for all forms of her level of care and expertise offer comfort to her
to detail. Since the higher education in moving images. Our patients. Her commitment to sleep medicine is what
1990s, Chris has Helsinki; Baltimore; core team of Directors, drives her philosophy that improving her patients’
been designing Cork, Ireland; and Designers, Animators, overall sleep health will improve their quality of life.
print and interactive Buffalo, New York. and Producers • Insomnia • Sleep apnea
solutions with zeal! When pressed about has substantial
• Narcolepsy • Restless leg syndrome
Modry Design Studio what he does for a experience in both
• Night terrors • Sleep-related seizures
was born after he living, he will explain long and short-format
hooked up with his that he is a hobo. This entertainment,
partner in 2003. For is not as much a lie sports, and live action DEDICATED TO HELPING YOU AND
now the company as he would have you programming for YOUR CHILDREN SLEEP. 704-316-3820
is firmly rooted in believe. He digs tall broadcast outlets such
NoDa. If you want to tales, spellbinding as Speed Channel, Presbyterian Family Sleep Center
talk design, stop by sites, and rare, FOX, ESPN, ABC, Style Charlotte • 149 Providence Road
their studio or find thrilling adventures Network, National Charlotte, NC 28204
Carolyn
them them online at of all sorts. Feel free Geographic, FUEL TV, Hart, MD Huntersville • 10030 Gilead Road
Suite 240, Huntersville, NC 28078
ModryDesignStudio. to join him for a head NASCAR, Lionsgate,
com start on Summer. IFC, and more.
*
Nancie Woods name: Little Shiva Born and raised in North Carolina native Responding to At one time a dancer,
comes to Charlotte a small Connecticut Ryan Sumner is whatever makes choreographer, and
from a three species: mutant town, Erica A de Creative Director of you smile, Melissa aspiring writer,
generation real estate Flamand migrated Fenix Fotography. Fazio—also known one day Amanda
family business in here for: the smell of south looking for Though Sumner’s as the Faz, Fazerati, Pagliarini woke
New Jersey. As a ink on paper warmer weather. A been shooting in or Emmy—is the up to find herself
Yankee, she avoided graphic designer by the Queen City newest addition to in a cubicle. Since
the family business interests: juxtaposi- degree and do-gooder professionally for the Uptown family. A relocating from DC
deciding instead to tion, transformation, at heart, she spends years, he spent “military brat” who two years ago, she
coach a top swim mystery, clarity, the equal time “creating” nearly a decade as a moved all over the has found a happiness
team. However, process of becoming, and working with designer at the Levine world as a kid, she as the Sales Diva at
her love for urban images, and design special needs children Museum until he set now makes her home the Pursuit Group.
development and in the world of equine up his studio last year in the Queen City, In the off hours you
with real estate in her contributions to therapy. She always in NoDa’s historic where for the past can find her trotting
blood, she joined the this issue: table of has a camera and a Highland Mill. This six years she worked around Uptown with
family businesss and contents dog by her side, and month Ryan handled in Charlotte radio her boxer JJ or buried
eventuall relocated is known to drink too the gorgeous models as a senior account in her laptop working
to Charlotte and took website: much coffee. in this month’s fashion executive. Now with on the next great
an active part in the littleshiva.com shoot as well as other Uptown, Melissa is American novel. And
growth of Uptown. work throughout the ready to help your even though it fits so
Nancie helped put magazine. business succeed— very well, please don’t
together our real and of course she’s call her “Mandi”.
estate guide this always ready to have
month. fun!
LEttER FRoM thE EdItoR Editor/Publisher
Todd Trimakas
Advertising
Melissa Fazio
Matt Kokenes
704.944.0551
grandchildren. Executive Editor

Other than living in a cardboard house I’m Andy Graves
not sure what a depression could do that I haven’t
already experienced in one way or another. I’ve Contributing
had to sell a house for a loss from my first marriage, Editor
move in with my angelic sister, lose a bunch of Peter Reinhart (Food)
money in the stock market when I watched the in-
ternet bubble burst, and I’ve been let go from a job. Contributors
I’ve lived in the Third World for months, and spent Sheri Joseph
a year residing in a room ten feet wide and 18 feet Celina Mincey
long, with a roommate. And by no means are my Little Shiva
experiences unique. I imagine you probably have Chris Wooten
similar ones to share as well. Bryan Reed
This all reminds me of the scene in “Forrest Amanda Pagliarini
Gump” when Captain Jack climbs to the top of the Catherine Rabb
shrimp boat’s mast and screams at the hurricane, Ellen Ward
“Is this all you got for me?!” That’s where I am,
at the top of our global economic mast, drenched Photography
from the worldwide monetary maelstrom swirl- Ryan Sumner (Fashion)
ing around and screaming at the top of my lungs, Jim McGuire
“Is this all you got for me?!” Even if you’re not in a Todd Trimakas
place where you can take your shirt off, I hope you
can join me in your own way. And if you can’t that’s Cover Art
I feel lucky to be a part of the “Great Depres- okay, too. Just remember to take good notes now Benjamin Gelnett
sion of 2009.” There have only been two depres- to refer to in the future—when you’ll need to explain
sions in the past hundred years, and we get to ex- this whole thing to your grandchildren. distribution
perience one of them. What other historical events Sean Chesney
of this global magnitude are we going to be able to ~Todd Trimakas
experience? I think we’re all out of World Wars and Publisher / Editor office
ignoring the hoax that was Asian bird flu, any sort Todd@uptownclt.com 1600 Fulton Ave., #140
of medical-inspired world trauma will remain an- Charlotte, NC 28205
cient history. But how many more times is the stock Contact us at
market going to be cut in half in less than a year, or info@uptownclt.com
Iceland go bankrupt? Yep, lucky I am. Uptown Magazine is a
My little girl Kate may never get a similarly trademark of Uptown
sized global catastrophe in her lifetime, and one day Publishing inc., copyright
her kids may ask me, “Granddaddy T, what was it 2009. All rights reserved.
like back in the early 2000s”? How did you make it Uptown is printed
during the Depression? I’ll of course tell fantasti- monthly and subscrip-
cally stretched tales that will seem hard to imagine tions are $25 annually
from 2055, something along the lines of: We had to and can be purchased
cook our own food and dress ourselves, we didn’t online at uptownclt.com.
have robots to do everything for us, or something
about not having flying cars—all unimaginable to my
words: sheri joseph
gifts Just in time for engagement season, Uptown

chats with Skatell’s owner Mike Ealy about why
will stay in the ring. I usually explain it like this: if you think about
replacing a car door, you could replace it with a stock door or you
his business is thriving while others are barely could have someone make it for you. The door that would fit better
surviving. Have you found the one who’ll stick is the custom door. The same can be said for jewelry design.
around through richer and poorer? Ready to ring
it? Drive out to Pineville and find out why they’re uptown: Does having this fancy shmancy machine make your
the life the gold standard when it comes to jewelry. jewelry more expensive?
mike ealy: No. In fact, our store has only one markup because
uptown: We’ve all passed a million mall we design and manufacture the jewelry here in the store. If you
jewelry stores and been distracted by their shiny are ordering an engagement ring, for example, from a typical store,
objects. What makes Skatell’s unique? there would be about five people who touch the ring: the caster,
mike ealy: In a word, quality. This is a family-owned business the diamond house, the setter, the finisher, and then back to the
that has been around for 50 years. Our work comes standard with store. Each one of them has a specialty, and they charge for it. We
a lifetime warranty. If you buy charge about 30 percent less than other jewelers because we have
from our store and you everything on site with no middle man.
uptown: Let’s say I’ve inherited a piece that’s hideous, yet

diamond encrusted. What can I do with that?
mike ealy: You could do anything with it, and we can
design anything. We can melt down any metal and
rework it into a new piece as well.
uptown: Anything?
mike ealy: Yes. If you want your own face on a ring,
we will design that for you.
uptown: Yikes. Speaking of faces on rings and other

oddball designs, are there any rules when it comes to jewelry
design?
mike ealy: No. There are no rules. We’re consistent with the
quality we produce on our end, so when it comes to what the
customer wants to wear, we can pretty much do anything the
customer wants. We’ve done it all--except grills (i.e., not the bbq
kind). We’re not really experienced with that.
uptown: What should the average Joe Schmo look for when
want shopping for jewelry?
to “trade mike ealy: Look for the GIA (Gemological Institute of America)
up” in a few diplomas on the wall. At what level is the jeweler accredited? This
years, we’ll shows the customer that the jeweler is credible. I suggest people
give you the value shop around and ask a lot of questions. Become educated on what
on what you paid. We they intend to buy. We want to educate our customers because we
aren’t interested in making want them to be satisfied with their purchase. Amazingly, we have
a one-time sale to someone. less than a tenth of one percent returns on purchases per year.
We want to be our customer’s Ninety percent of customers are return customers. Know that if
family jeweler, and in order to do that we make you visit Mike at Skatell’s they’ll treat you just like you’re part of the
sure we stand behind every piece we sell and design. family, because almost all of their family works there. So if you end
up buying a custom piece or something from one of their national
uptown: What is the design process for jewelry at Skatell’s? designers, Mike’s wife Donna may even invite you over for dinner. U
mike ealy: We have a 3-D milling system here that enables us
to make an incredibly precise wax molds for any design, even You can reach Sheri at sheri.uptown@yahoo.com
something a customer draws on a piece of paper. We can make For more info go to www.uptownclt.com
a mold that will fit the stones perfectly, which ensures the stone
words: sheri joseph
wine If you’ve visited Reid’s Fine Foods, at Seventh

Street Station, you know they offer a feast of
recommended wine?
margaret hughes: Quinta Do Crasto Douro ($18), a Portuguese
eclectic grocery offerings, the very best in cuts red blend that is the little brother to the No. 3 Wine of the Year from
of meat, and an array of excellent wines. What Wine Spectator. This wine displays intense aromas and flavors of
you might not realize, however, is that some of black cherry, cocoa, spice. This wine has great structure, nice acidity,
the thriftiest wine bargains are right there among and a plush velvety texture with a nice finish. U
the life the high-end bottles, which means you can shop
Reid’s for great wines even if your bank account You can reach Sheri at sheri.uptown@yahoo.com
amounts to little more than chump change. For more info go to www.uptownclt.com
We spoke with Margaret Hughes, the wine
manager at Reid’s, for the lowdown on low prices. Margaret
recommends only wines she has tasted and would choose
personally, so her selections are sure to be good.
uptown: What would you suggest for those who have been
drinking the good stuff on a regular basis who now find themselves
on a budget?
margaret hughes: I would suggest for them to look toward
regions of the world that have traditionally supplied value wines,
such as France’s Rhone Valley (Côte du Rhône); Spain, for Crianza
and Grenache; and Argentina, which provides a wash of outstanding
Malbec and Bonarda.
uptown: What are the best wine finds that would fool any palate?
margaret hughes: All but one of these wines is $16 or less:
Garnacha de Fuego $10
Graffigna Malbec $13
Sauvignon Republic Potter Valley Sauvignon Blanc $16
Pontecilla Tempranillo $11
Château Haut La-Péreyre Bordeaux $14
Renato Ratti Dolcetto D’Alba $14
b² Pinot Noir (that’s b-squared, from Oregon) $19
Lockhart Merlot $12
Marietta Old Vine Red $13
Solex Chardonnay $16
Domaine de la Fruitiere Chardonnay $13
Joseph Drouhin Macon-Villages $13
Ciao Bella Pinot Grigio $11
Gruet Brut $13
uptown: So if you have a customer who

has gone from eating the best filet mignon to
Hamburger Helper, what would you suggest?
margaret hughes: Wines to pair with the
following foods:
Bojangles’ Fried Chicken / Ken Forrester Petit
Chenin Blanc $10
SpaghettiOs / Toscolo Chianti $10
Hamburger Helper cheesy mac / Almira Los Dos
Grenache/Syrah $10
Frozen fish fillets / Kris Pinot Grigio $12
uptown: What is the all-time most highly

words: sheri joseph A
pictures: jim mcguire
love Finances got you down? Bored with the flicks

at the local theater? Can’t believe what they’re
u “You’re My Flavor,” Lenny Kravitz (Isn’t everyone your flavor,
Lenny?)
charging for a decent vodka cocktail these u “In Your Eyes,” Jeffrey Gaines (It’s raw and soulful and soulful
days? Suspend your outrage and bust out and raw. Did I mention it was both raw and soulful?)
the Peppermint Scope because it’s time for a u “I Want a Little Sugar in My Bowl,” Nina Simone (Is that a
smooch-a-thon. euphemism or what?)
the life Fact: When researchers conducted
studies on students, testing their chemical Missy, a writer and stylist, gave us songs that work on the twenty- 40
something set. But
who are we kidding? R
reactions during a Twenty-somethings
15-minute make-out don’t need music—
session, they found that they make out all the
both male and female time.
subjects had a marked u “Sex on Fire,”
reduction in the stress Kings of Leon (They
hormone cortisol. If your sang this on “SNL”
romantic relationship and it rocked.)
has weathered the u “Destiny,” Zero 7
ups and downs of the (Probably playing in
marketplace, then a college dorm room
celebrate your love. near you.) 23
u “Possession,”
To help you get your Sarah McLachlan R
groove on, we solicited
a cross-section of C.C., a dedicated
Charlotte’s citizens to public servant,
share their top three prefers the classics.
make-out songs of all u “Dancing in the
time. Add them to your Moonlight,” King
mix tape, or burned Harvest
CD, or downloadable u “I’ll Be,” Edwin
songstick, or widget, or McCain
whatever it is the kids u “At This Moment,”
are calling it these days. Billy Vera and the
These are bound to get Beaters (Complete
530
the “bow chika bow bow” with live audience
goin’ in the house, at no cheering. Ah, just
R
cost to you. like the good ol’ days
with a little P.D.A. at
Mike, an Uptown banker, the mall.)
claims his make-out
songs come from the real Otis, a chef Uptown
experiences of the past--making out in the back of his pimpin’ Buick who likes to mack during extended guitar solos, chose these.
Regal. “These songs really worked. Everyone should try them.” Did u “Dreams,” The Allman Brothers
I say this guy was a banker? I meant wanker. u “I’m not Alone,” Widespread Panic
u “Open Arms,” Journey u “Unbroken Chain,” The Grateful Dead (Yeah, man.) U
u “Help Me Make It Through the Night,” Willie Nelson (Isn’t that a
cheatin’ song? Just asking.) You can reach Sheri at sheri.uptown@yahoo.com
u “I Will,” The Beatles For more info go to www.uptownclt.com
Celia, a webpreneur on the cutting edge of all things trendy suggests

the following.

ALL THESE PROPERTIES REDUCED TO UNPRECEDENTED PRICES!
UND
ER C
ONTR
ACT
400 N. Church # 614 Avenue # 2713

MLS 813084 MLS 834342
REDUCED $409,900 REDUCED $259,000
Myers Park home just reduced to $399,900
230 S. Tryon St. #502 238 S. Clarkson St

MLS 803833 MLS 830967
REDUCED $259,000 REDUCED $275,000
530 N. Poplar St. Unit D 626 N. Graham # 205
s
MLS 828867 MLS 838966
d
REDUCED $325,000 BRAND NEW $179,000
c i eW o o
N a n SELLING CENTER CITY
SINCE 2000
Visit me at 218 North College Street
allentate.com/nancie.woods
704.608.0964
I WAS A MAN and a woman on craigslist
I was a Woman looking for a Man. I was a Man looking for a

Woman. I was a Man looking for a Man. Just for fun, I was a Woman
looking for a Couple.
This was my weekend on Craigslist.
I embarked on my Craigslist “Casual Encounters” adventure
sitting with my boyfriend outside of Starbucks in Southpark. I started
out scanning some of the ads from each section to give me a better idea
of how I should form my ad. I was alarmed at the candid, direct nature
of the post headlines. People looking for a casual encounter jump
straight to the point. The ads were fairly repetitive and all arrived at
the same conclusion—people wanting some ass, and wanting it now. I
looked around at my fellow Starbucks patrons with their laptops. Could
someone in my midst be one of these people?
As I prepared to make my postings I quickly realized that I had an
entire language of acronyms to learn. There are self-explanatory ones:
“W4M” = Woman for Man. “M4W” = Man for Woman. With the addition
of “T” for Transgender, there are 21 available combinations. Feeling a
bit overwhelmed and a tad nervous as to who, or what, I might find, I
settled on four combinations: M4W, M4M, W4MW, and W4M.
words: amanda pagliarini

supportive of their bisexual urges and encourage them to act on them
freely. Shocking.
Most all sent pictures. Some were nice, regular shots of them as
a couple from a recent event. Others sent pictures offering a preview of
what a sexual encounter with them might look like. If you have a pre-
I stared blankly at my computer screen with the worst case of writer’s conceived notion about the attractiveness of these women or couples,
block I’ve ever encountered. As I attempted to compose my ad as a Man think again. A few times I considered justifying the need for more
searching for a Woman, I tried to think of what might appeal to me if I extensive research.
happened to be perusing for a man on a free internet site. So I became It was here that I learned about an underground swingers’ club
Jake, the guy who wanted only to go down on a woman and then leave right here in our little Southern metropolis. Carolina Friends offers a
her alone. paid membership to screened couples and single ladies (sorry guys)
I went through the posting criteria, accepting the terms of use and who believe sex doesn’t have to happen in even numbers.
agreeing to a code of conduct. Less than two minutes later, my ad was
up. I waited for the rush of emails to come in. W4M
Despite what I consider to have been a thoughtful and appealing Fifteen in ten. Seventy-six in two. No, these are not measurements or
post, there was no one interested in hanging out with Jake. Well, no scores. These are the number of emails I received and the frequency
woman that is. A man kindly responded, letting Jake know that if he of their arrival. Fifteen emails in the first ten minutes of my Woman for
didn’t have any luck finding a woman, he could go down on him. Such a Man post. Seventy-six emails in the first two hours. A few more sta-
supportive community this Craigslist is. tistics: Two-hundred-ninety-one emails in total. One-hundred-fifty-six
The next day and the two days following, I actually did receive containing pictures. Twenty-three of those pictures were close-up shots
several emails from women. Cute-sounding women with names like of one particular body part. Every woman’s fantasy.
Brandi, Farrah, Jenna, Kristi, and “hottieclt4u.” Strangely, their emails Of course many came from mock email addresses with fake
all said similar things: that they were cute, blonde, horny, and had never names. Some of the photos had been edited to hide their faces. But
done this type of thing before, and each concluded by directing me to a this was the minority. Most of the emails I received contained first and
website where we could talk more and share photos. What had at first last names, with identifying pictures of their faces. Some came from
appeared to be eager sex kittens were in fact automated responses work email addresses. Some pictures were their corporate headshots.
from for-pay webcam sites. Poor Jake. How frustrating it is to be Apparently, if you are on Craigslist you are either very trusting or very
teased. stupid.
I Googled all of the full names I received. There were three boys
M4M claiming to be of college age, but they were betrayed by their own social
The Man for Man section seemed very transactional. There was more networking community--Facebook told me they were in high school.
qualifying information and inquisitiveness in the ads selling Bobcats There were guys who readily admitted their marital status. The Meck-
tickets. The ads stated what they were specifically after, and often lenburg County Real Estate Lookup System confirmed the marriages of
provided their location and how long they’d be there. Several of those those less inclined to share. Further Googling showed me where these
locations were public establishments. So Jake became gay and posted guys worked, allowed me to scan through their Facebook pages, and
accordingly. even see which church they attended.
Immediately I received emails responding in an equally transac- Some men informed me that they didn’t have cars and would
tional manner. They were interested and could meet me in “X” amount need me to pick them up for our sexual dalliance, while others offered
of time, and wanted me to respond if I was interested. generous gifts and compensation for my time. Even “Michael Jordan”
A couple of emails came from men who requested discretion, as emailed me, stating that he was in town for a Bobcats meeting and
they were married. would like my company. I am now familiar with the length and girth of a
Senior Vice-President at Bank of America, and “John” sent me a picture
W4MW from his wedding with all but a small piece of his wife’s veil cut out.
This is one of the few sections of Craigslist’s Casual Encounters that is My favorite email came from a man who told me what he’d like to
the real deal. There are single men on there just thrilled with the notion do with me, noted that he was married and required discretion, and then
of a threesome with two women. There are attached men who solicit a concluded with a quotation from Gandhi in the signature line.
third, unbeknownst to their partner. One man asked me if I could “bump I decided to engage with select people. By the looks of some
into” him and his wife at a bar and seduce her. Apparently she had an people and their comments, it was clear why they were trolling through
open mind about having a threesome, but only if it happened naturally. Casual Encounters on Craigslist. It was both the men who were married
For the most part, the emails I received appeared to be legitimate or in relationships and the good-looking, young, single guys who had
requests from couples or from the ladies themselves. Two wanted me curious about why they used this forum. Yes, obviously these men
to give their mates a treat for his birthday, while the others consid- were looking for casual sex—but why not just have an affair the good ol’
ered themselves bisexual. The men they are in relationships with are fashioned way? Or, for the attractive and unattached, why not just pick a

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lady up at a bar?
It’s amazing how much people will tell you if you just ask. The
attractive, single guys seemed to fall into one of two simple categories.
Either they were painfully shy and found it difficult to approach women
or they were lazy and looking for instant gratification. The first group’s
confidence didn’t match their sex drive and, real or contrived, sexual
banter gave a subconscious ego boost. A guy from the second group
told me that he knew he had to play the gentleman dating game in the
“real world” but he needed to get laid in the interim.
The married or attached men proved to be a bit more trivial. Yes,
there were men who emailed me who were simply and sincerely look-
ing for sex on the side. In their minds, Craigslist offers an opportunity
to meet women who are only interested in casual sex. If these men had
an affair with a woman they met in a less scripted way, they run the risk
of having her get emotionally attached and subsequently demanding a
relationship.
While chatting with some of these men, I took our conversations
right to the edge—setting up a meeting. Surprisingly, when I got it to
this point, one married man got scared and disappeared. The oth-
ers, who were ready and willing to meet, I probed further about their
relationships, justifying my inquisitiveness by stating that I wanted to
know what I could be getting myself into. These men all said the same
thing in different ways, that there was no zing in their relationships or
marriages.
It has become clear to me that most men don’t have the first clue
how to make a woman uninhibited. A woman who feels sexy, who
believes the man she’s with thinks she’s hot, will come out of her sexual
shell, and often. Drop a bit of alcohol in her, and you’ll have your very
own porn star. Meanwhile, these men frustrated by the lost zing with white ads on Craigslist.
their wives or girlfriends are wasting time in cyberspace saying all of I decided to speak with Darshana Hawks, a relationship coach and
the things they should be saying to their ladies, to blank, black-and- owner of the Relationship Success Source. She coaches singles looking
for love, couples who want to learn how to
have a sustainable marriage, and couples in
crisis on the verge of divorce. She summed up
my findings and her experience with this topic
into one word: avoidance. Anyone engaged
in Craigslist Casual Encounter-type activity
is simply avoiding something, whether it be
their own fear of approaching the opposite sex,
problems or unmet needs in their relationship
or marriage, or, many times, a deep-seated
emotional issue. It’s like going on a juice
fast when you’re feeling fat. You might drop
a couple of quick pounds, but they’re sure to
return, and no progress is ever really made.
As Darshana put simply, “Some people just
don’t want to do the work.”
Sometimes, Craigslist exchanges
become like a drug. There’s a feeling of lust
when there is a sexual attraction or chemistry
between two people who shouldn’t or can’t
act on it. It’s more than just a turn-on, it’s a
full-body dizziness. Your heart races, you feel

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flushed, you swoon. It’s a high. And Craigslist is an instant and abun-
Big city financing, dant peddler. You don’t get that drug from looking at porn. Porn pro-
duces a more localized, diluted version of the lust drug from the waist
small town service. down. For people who crave, and perhaps even have an addiction to this
all-encompassing feeling of lust, Craigslist offers them an instant fix.
The good news is that I have personally concluded that there are
Meet your Uptown no women on Craigslist looking for men. It’s like a bunch of dogs pant-
ing at a dinner table with no food on it. Casual Encounters on Craigslist
lenders for life. is a legitimate resource for gay men and straight women who can’t
seem to get that sex scene from the “L”-word out of her mind but is too
scared of rejection to act on the impulse to jump her hot girlfriend in the
bar bathroom.
In the end, who am I to judge? I’ve come to learn that if I de-
nounce something as weird or wrong or crazy, it’s usually because I
haven’t tried it yet. And the surefire way to do or become something is
to judge it in someone else first. So instead of a judgment, I will dole
out an invitation. To all of you men out there on Craigslist, come out
from behind your computer screens and join us living in real space, not
cyberspace. And to all of those married guys I talked to last month, try
whispering some of what you said to me to your wives. You might just
be surprised what you get in return. U
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?
we ask five charlotteans to share their vision
words: celina mincey

pictures: jim mcguire
As Charlotte moves forward and
develops, what is the role of your
Center’s mission to promote African-
American arts and culture?
Keeping African-American arts and
culture alive. We don’t want to
lose sight of our past. As Charlotte
becomes a browner city and
looks ahead, we always want to
acknowledge past achievements,
struggles, creativity, and celebrate
those. Here at the Center, we strive
to tell folks—all folks, the whole
community—about the African-
American experience. We want to
educate people. As the city changes
and diversifies, it’s important for
people to find the things they have
in common. The Center can be a
starting point for that.
What successes have there been

in Charlotte in terms of promoting
African-American culture?
Just the fact that we’ve been around for Earl D. Leake // Board of Directors Carolyn A. Mints // CEO
35 years—and we’re still here, even in these Afro-American Cultural Center
economic times. If you look at where the
center started—meager beginnings in a
student protest at UNCC and a grassroots
effort—and then think about where we
are now, that’s a real accomplishment.
broken
As we continue to build, we have great
down
aspirations, but we recognize that we stand
and new,
on many shoulders.
creative
solutions
What else needs to happen?
emerge. However,
Charlotte is changing, both in terms of its
nothing will happen
population and economy. Diverse citizens
until there is economic action. that.
will be looking not only for ways to grow
African-Americans need to get to the This
business but also for ways to express their
table in terms of economics and then be city is so much
unique interests. We’ll see more of a focus
prepared and be able to produce. The only more capable. We are too content with an
on the arts. As you have more and more
way disparities will really be acknowledge “I’ve got mine” mentality—giving a little to
folks from varying backgrounds coming
and addressed is through economics. This charity maybe, but really looking just at the
into the city, we’ll have a greater need for
city, the larger community, the whole success of our own careers and families.
expanding arts. The Center hopes to be
country is run based on finances, but in We aren’t seeing the poor as a fabric of this
integral in that effort.
Charlotte we tend to have such a focus on community. This economic downturn is
race—on both sides—that racial disparity pushing more and more people over the
What can be done to overcome
and solutions tend to get lost in the edge, and the arts clearly provide a major
racial disparities in Charlotte such
preoccupation with race. resource and outlet for everyone. At the
as housing, health, employment,
Cultural Center, we like to remind people
education?
Are we doing enough to attract a the arts become even more important
We have to first acknowledge that
diverse incoming population as when times are hard, as a release valve
disparities exist. A good example is that
Charlotte grows? and a place of respite. More importantly, a
while we love to tout that there were no
Charlotte is clearly attracting the numbers. place for all people to connect. And that’s
major disruptions during desegregation
It continues to grow. We need to focus on what the Harvey B. Gantt Center intends to
of our schools, we fail to acknowledge
the substance of that growth. be. Yes, it will house national exhibits, but
the racial disparities in the school system
it will continue to serve as a major resource
today. We will overcome disparity when
the harvey B. Gantt Center. Why is it for families and children of all races to
a diverse community is seen as a value in
important? explore culture on many different levels.
terms of work, live, and play. When we are
When we look at people living in poverty We encourage all Charlotteans to come,
able to openly acknowledge our challenges,
right here in the Queen City, we need to ask visit, check out our programming—and get
we must engage in dialogue. Only through
ourselves how we allow people to live like involved! u u u
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Partners in Connolly’s, Madison’s, The
Attic Bar, Tyber Creek Pub
What are the highlights of What can we expect to see in

Charlotte’s nightlife? terms of nightlife in the Queen
It’s a young, up-and-coming city—lots of City in the upcoming years?
energy and positive people. Charlotte is a A standstill really, until the economy picks
establishments,
melting pot in that so many people aren’t back up. Hopefully, it will become more
but Charlotte would be better off to give
actually from the Charlotte area. It seems affordable for owner/operators to flourish
local owner/operators a chance in order
like people from all over the country and but that is unlikely. It would be really nice
to keep our local flavor. We’ve personally
world come to Charlotte for a common to see Uptown fill up in terms of residents.
been fortunate in that we are one of the
purpose—to make a better life. And that Once we have a full house—condos/
few who got into Uptown early, when it
shows in the nightlife. Everyone brings a apartments to capacity—we’ll see more
was still affordable for owner/operators to
different flavor, style, or personality. changes and development in the nightlife.
start their own businesses. But it’s gotten
very pricey now.
What is missing? What does Charlotte how is the economic downturn
need in order to compete with other affecting business?
Is the Epicentre good or bad for
major cities’ nightlife? We’ve been fortunate in that we run more
Charlotte’s nightlife?
Charlotte has been good about keeping neighborhood establishments. People
It brings an even wider range of people
things centralized and branding each drink in good times and bad, but in rough
Uptown, gives people more options. In
area. For example: Uptown, South End, times they definitely tend to go somewhere
the long term it’s a good thing. As we look
NoDa, Plaza-Midwood. Each is a distinct they feel comfortable. Being small guys,
to the future and the economy picks up,
entertainment area with its own flavor. we focus on having great relationships
it will be great. The plan was for all the
We haven’t got into endless urban sprawl with our customers and have instilled this
slated condo projects to bring an influx
and uniformity, and we can’t get away concept in all of our staff. For many of our
of residents to Uptown to consistently
from that. We need more neighborhood patrons, coming to our bars is like going to
utilize both the Epicentre and the offerings
bars, more mom & pop places instead of see a friend, and that’s usually how people
already here, so it’s a bit of bad timing, but
mega-conglomerates and chains. New want to hang out in hard times. u u u
it’ll all turn around.
development seems to seek big chain
David Furman // Architect and Developer
It seems that young professionals who

relocate to America’s large “old” cities
(e.g., Chicago, Boston, or New York)
tend to congregate—to live, work and
play—in and very near the downtown
district, whereas in large “new” cities
(e.g., Atlanta or Phoenix) they are
more likely to locate across a larger
area into the suburbs. What needs
to be done in order for Charlotte’s
Uptown to win over this incoming
demographic and build its urban
center?
If you look at these old cities, or use a
European city as an example, they always
maintain a high ratio of mixed-use space.
The defining feature of successful cities
is urban livability, which includes lots
of open, public common areas, green
space, easy public transit, and vibrant,
niche merchants/restaurants with
outdoor seating areas. In Charlotte, we
are scrambling to recreate this vibe from
financing scratch. Center City is still evolving, but
unless there is a lot of work to be done. I think
50 percent we should start with populating Uptown.
of the units Right now, only 10,000 to 15,000 people
were sold. You actually reside inside the loop. That’s
can see why many not much when you compare it to the
projects have had to 1.5 million who live in the greater metro
go rental. Second, I don’t area. Hopefully, the rental conversions will
think rental conversions are actually help in this regard, giving people
all bad. I believe we are getting more options while tightening the condo
ready to experience a shift in paradigm. availability.
We Traditionally, it has been the American
notice a lot of condo projects Dream to own a home, which has been What can Charlotteans be optimistic
converting to rental units. What thought of as the ultimate investment. about in terms of real estate?
does this mean from a development This idea was primarily fueled by what Overall, Charlotte has a great story to tell,
standpoint? how does this affect long- is essentially a government subsidy: the and it’s too grand a story to be snuffed
term real estate values? writing off of mortgage interest. This out. It’s a dynamic city that has seen the
Well, the actual economic impact remains phenomenon was compounded by market reemergence of its Center City over the last
to be seen, but I don’t think it is as gloomy conditions that incredibly accelerated 20 years. We just need to collect ourselves
as it is portrayed. First of all, Uptown has appreciation and it became a savvy and see through this “gray cloud” mentality.
received a bad rap because of some very decision to buy even if you were living a The sun still shines, we’ve still got a lot of
high-profile projects that didn’t happen for relatively transient lifestyle. Everyone— cranes, the new Duke Energy Center is
specific reasons. Places like One Charlotte, developers, consumers, the government, rising, and the Cultural Campus will open
210 Trade, and the Park got a lot of press banks—we all ignored the fact that this soon. The Ritz and Bank of America new
generating the idea that the Uptown condo situation was not sustainable. I think the block is coming, NASCAR Hall of Fame &
market had fallen out. These projects economic slowdown will leave our society Office Tower, and we’re breaking ground
didn’t fold because of market conditions-- better off in the long run. Real estate will on an incredible new UNCC building in
they each had things going on behind the always be a solid investment if you want to First Ward. There is plenty to look forward
scenes that contributed to their failure. As hold it for an extended term, which is how to and we can use this time as a wake
you’ve noted, a lot of complexes were built it was always meant to be. We have to give up, to look at growth as a society and get
successfully. However, they were delivered up the idea of flipping something quickly creative about building a more sustainable
about the time all this news was surfacing and making a lot of money. Once we do, a world, one that’s not revolving out of
about failed projects and a “fallen market.” renting will no longer be considered inferior control. Think of it this way, when a train
As a result, buyers and investors lost their or unwise. People who value freedom is moving so fast—as the real estate market
confidence and started pulling out of their and mobility, especially those living in an has been doing for the last three to five
contracts to buy. This created a self- urban context, will begin to see renting years—it’s difficult to see where you are
fulfilling prophesy and left previously sold as a viable and preferable housing option. going and impossible to get off. Now we
developments holding a lot of units. At the This is happening now and is the primary have time to step back and dream, and
same time, mortgage rules began changing reason for our Quarterside conversion to create our city accordingly.
fast, like no longer being able to secure rental. u u u
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What is the current state of Charlotte’s
economy?
We are tracking the rest of the country.
We have such a diverse region and
economic base that other parts of the
country saw a slow down much before
us. We are poised to see more of a
downturn because of the banks, but
even despite that we are still in much
better shape than many cities and we
will come out of the recession period
faster.
Is Charlotte still a competitive

city?
Absolutely. We still have all of
the assets we had prior to the
recession: geographic location,
quality of life, international airport,
we are a strong distribution center,
an emerging life sciences/biology/
nutritional science sector, and we are
still a manufacturing region. Relatively
speaking, from a national perspective,
we are still as competitive and should
continue to build infrastructure and
maintain our leadership position.
the public is inundated with talk of

bailouts. What does Charlotte need to
do long term to have a healthy, stable
economy?
come. Ronnie Bryant - CEO // Charlotte Regional Partnership
We’ve done and will continue to do what
we need to, which is primarily to market Another
the region as a place of business. We major
certainly need to take advantage of the factor is job
stimulus dollars we qualify for to invest opportunity. The
in infrastructure, jolt the economy, and Partnership focuses
create jobs, but there can be no pulling on job creation and
back on our efforts to market and expand competitiveness, so people are
able to make the move to the region disservice
opportunity in the region. If anything, we
and prosper. We do so by connecting with by consistently
need to put even more resources into these
decision makers all around the country and reporting doom and gloom instead of
efforts.
the world, people who have the capacity to at least a balanced approach toward
locate companies here. Our ultimate goal the economy. As a result, consumers
What are we doing to encourage folks
is to create and maintain excitement for the lock down and take money out of the
to come to Charlotte?
region. economy, which creates a self-perpetuating
There are tons of people moving here,
downward cycle.
though at the partnership we don’t focus on
recruiting people. Charlotte’s reputation as how much do people/media’s attitude
and fear affect the actual economy? What do Charlotteans have to be
a great place to live, work, and play brings
I think attitudes and fears dramatically hopeful about?
people here. The nightlife, cultural scene,
affect the economy. We are literally talking This too will pass. We have the same
museum circuit, sports community, great
ourselves into a bad economy, because assets we did before the recession and we
neighborhoods, proximity to the mountains
when people think it’s bad, their actions will continue to be competitive and thrive.
and beach—these encourage individuals to
correspond. The media has done a u u u
broaden programming
while not abandoning
organizations that
we have historically
supported. Over the
last 50 years or so,
we’ve built the cultural
sector through a top-down
approach, focusing on
facilities and strengthening
private/public relationships.
What we hope to do now is
build more from the bottom up
while continuing to serve what
is already in place. This looks like
smaller grants to organizations that
either have art, science, and history in
Lee Kessler - CEO // Arts and Science Council their mission, or organizations that use
those areas in their programming. We are
We broadening our thinking about ways to
tell know ensure that cultural activity is vibrant in
us all too Mecklenburg County. A perfect example is
about the well that a grant we gave to Simmons YMCA, who,
new cultural many sectors in conjunction with the McColl Center
campus and what are cutting back. how for the Arts and the Light Factory, hosted
Charlotteans can look forward to. is the current economic downturn an artist in residence. Simmons YMCA
The project is moving along really fast. going to affect funding for the arts in does not specifically include the arts in
There are 5 projects currently underway. Charlotte? or will it remain strong? their mission, but they are a center for
The Harvey Gantt Center will be complete It is affecting the arts. We just finished community activity on the East Side and
in October of this year. The Knight Theater, our annual fund drive and we raised less a perfect organization to deliver cultural
which will be operated by the Blumenthal money this year by several million dollars. programming.
Performing Arts Center, will open in There are definitely additional challenges
January of 2010. Also in 2010, The Bechtler for cultural institutions to raise money in We interviewed representatives to
Museum of Art is scheduled for a March this economic climate. What that means discuss Charlotte’s nightlife, real
opening and the new Mint Museum should in terms of impact on the organizations we estate, and economy. Everyone agrees
be finished by October. The renovation serve is a story that still remains to be told. that we need to populate Uptown with
at Discovery Place is ongoing and should Obviously, we will have fewer dollars to residents. typically, artists live in
wrap up in June 2010. Charlotteans can distribute, and the organizations are facing fringe areas due to affordability. But
look forward to a sixth component of the same difficulty and so are more likely to they are the very people wanting to
the new cultural campus, which will be be raising less themselves. live an urban lifestyle. What can be
announced in the next 30 to 45 days. done to reconcile this situation?
Charlotte is blessed to have one of the There are some artists, but very few, who
Charlotte is often criticized for being nation’s largest local arts agencies. live Uptown. Programs like the McColl
too conservative/consistent in its But are there still opportunities for Center’s Artists in Residence does this
choice of art. What is happening in the little guy? As the Queen City successfully, bringing artists from around
terms of bringing in diverse, bold continues to expand, what advice do the world and putting them up in condos
exhibits? you have for up-and-coming artists as inside the loop. Honestly, given the value
Well, I’d have to quarrel with that far as utilizing the Arts and Science of land prices in Uptown, I unfortunately
assumption because there is a lot more Council’s resources? think affordable housing, for artists or
in Charlotte than people give it credit Your question is right on the directional otherwise, is unlikely. However, there are
for. People outside of Charlotte often theme of our strategic plan that we created still neighborhoods just within a mile or
appreciate the city’s cultural offerings 18 months ago. The plan focuses on two so of Uptown where it is feasible to build
more than insiders do. Outsiders tend to key objectives. First, broaden engagement work/live units. The Arts and Science
have a high regard for our cultural scene. between the community and the cultural Council has considered this in the past. We
The Light Factory has very innovative sector. Second, build sustainability for actually met with an organization that does
and progressive exhibits. Part of the organizations and individuals providing this very thing in Minneapolis-St. Paul—they
rationale for the new Mint is to provide cultural experiences. build affordable work/live housing geared
that museum with more space for traveling We recognize that we serve all of toward artists—but no action was taken.
exhibits, which are perhaps the sort you are Mecklenburg County and that people want This is a conversation we are happy to be
speaking of. Also, the Bechtler Museum is to experience their arts and culture in a a part of again, but we would need several
a brand new institution, so what we’ll see variety of ways, including right in their other partners or collaborators. U
will be fresh and exciting. neighborhood instead of coming into the Reach Celina at celinamincey@yahoo.com
Center City. We have a responsibility to For more info go to www.uptownclt.com
www.bracesincharlotte.com

j
2009 If you’re ready to downsize from your suburban mansion and trade in your deck for
a sky-high terrace, your yard for a greenway, and your gas card for a light-rail pass,
then look no further than Uptown and its surrounding areas for your next new home.
With the combination of government incentive plans and low interest rates—not
to mention Uptown’s excellent restaurants, shopping, and entertainment—this is
the perfect time to start checking out some of the properties available closer to the
Center City.
The following is a taste of what you’ll find.
words: erin kasari
2007
2006
2008
Celadon
uptown
1715 West Fourth Street Extension
704.763.0063 or 980.322.5300
celadongreenway.com
Inside the crisp, white exteriors of
the 24 Celadon town homes are
interior features that take the idea of
eco-conscious living to a whole new
level. From the entryway, where
a natural slate walkway extends
from the outside in, to the dual-flush
Avenue toilets that let you choose how much
210 North Church Street water you want to use, there are
704.887.0588 eco-friendly materials and amenities
avenueuptown.com throughout. Preserving the natural
The concrete slab balconies that environment surrounding the five
extend precariously from the Avenue building complex was a part of the
may be an acrophobe’s nightmare. But grand green plan of this development.
once that acrophobe sees all of the More than 25 percent of the original
amenities that the Avenue has to offer, plot is a dedicated tree-save area, and
their fear is sure to dissipate. From the landscape design incorporates
interior features like floor-to-ceiling Xeriscaping techniques.
windows, granite countertops and
pre-wiring for home entertainment Courtside
systems, to community amenities 505 East Sixth Street
such as the 1,700 sq. ft. workout room, 704.332.4008
outdoor living room with a stone blvdcentro.com
fireplace and big screen TV, and 24/7 When living at Courtside you’ll enjoy
concierge, it’s clear that this high rise is the many advantages that come with
all about high style. making this your home court. The
hardwoods are dark-stained bamboo
avenue
Catalyst and the ceilings a regulation height
255 W. Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. of 10 feet. The fluted glass panels
704.930.2900 that divide the living room from the
celadon
catalystcharlotte.com sleeping area create privacy while
There’s no doubt this sleek, 27-story allowing light to extend through each
concrete-and-glass high rise will live up unit’s open, flowing floor plan. When
to its name and help make Third Ward you’re ready to take your game outside,
a must-be location within the center you can enjoy stunning city views from
city. Perfectly situated within a block your private terrace or from the one on
of Bank of America Stadium, the new the roof.
arts center, and the proposed minor
league baseball stadium, you won’t
have to travel far for entertainment.
And with great views in every
direction, the Catalyst is a place that
will allow you to not only see the city,
but where you’ll want to be seen in the
city.
Courtside – Luxury Loft, Spectacular Views!
2br/ 2ba + Den $539,000 or $2500/mo.
MLS#830828
Courtside – Bamboo Floors & Exposed Ducts!

1br/1ba $185,000 MLS#838184
MLS#836351
2br/1ba $210,900 or $1195/mo.
Overlook Frazier Park!
1st Row Warehouse
Kim Pfleeger
Broker/Realtor
Allen Tate Company
218 N. College St.

Charlotte, NC 28202
5th & Poplar

Lots of Upgrades!
Tons of Amenities! 1 br + Den
$299,500 MLS#824337
704-778-6420 [Mobile]
704-496-7449 [Office]
kim.pfleeger@allentate.com
www.allentate.com/kimpfleeger
Gateway Lofts – 2 Story Loft!

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The
The Garrison
Garrison at
at Graham
Graham
715 North Graham Street
704.377.9000
thegarrisonatgraham.com
The twelve-by-14 foot windows that
stream sunlight into each loft are
reminiscent of those found in factories
built during the Industrial Revolution,
Frederick
Frederick Place but with a much better view. Located
515 North Church Street at the edge of Fourth Ward near I-277,
704.975.9952 the Garrison at Graham is scheduled for
If you’ve lived in Charlotte for any completion by the end of next month. In
amount of time, then you know addition to getting their first glimpse of
that this city has a little issue with the city skyline from their bi-level lofts,
leaving historical buildings standing. residents will enjoy the view from a
Fortunately, The Frederick, a former rooftop terrace that includes a canopied
1920s apartment complex, is one of entertainment area, an outdoor fireplace,
Uptown’s few surviving historical a couple of hot tubs, and lots of space to
buildings. The complex has been soak in the sun’s rays.
renovated into 29 condominium units
and for just under $300K, a piece of The Metropolitan
garrison at graham
a Charlotte historic landmark can be 1225 Baxter Street
yours. The preservation of many of the 704.295.7638
building’s classic ornate features did metmidtown.com
not come at the expense of modern It may be set just outside the Beltway,
amenities, the best of which is the the metropolitan but the Metropolitan at Midtown has
rooftop terrace with unobstructed all of the sophistication of its center-city
views of the city. high-rise sisters—and then some. The 60
residences of the Met Lofts are a mix of
Gallery Lofts
Gallery Lofts studios, and two-story one- and two-
Hill Street at McNinch Street bedroom condos with bamboo floors,
704.779.6251 Italian cabinets, and stylish subway
liveatthegallery.net tiles. Equally well appointed, the 41
Here you’re so close to Bank of Met Terraces are distinguished by their
America Stadium that if you’re sitting generous terraces whose size rivals that
in your living room watching the of their condo interiors and which offer
Panthers on TV, you may hear the unparalleled views of the city and the
cheers from the stands before you see Little Sugar Creek Greenway.
the touchdown on the screen. Among
the most spacious of loft living options
in Uptown, each of the 1,600 to 2,000
sq. ft. units has oversized windows,
storefront entry doors, concrete floors,
and 20 ft. ceilings. There is technically
only one bedroom, but each floor plan
comes with the option of a sitting
room, second bedroom, or “flex-room”
(with a revolving door), so you’ll have uptown
plenty of extra space if you decide to
show a fan from the visiting team some
Southern hospitality.
Open Late Wed-Sat 5pm - Midnight
Lunch Mon-Fri 11:30-2:30
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Southend • 1300-F South Blvd.
FOR NIGHT OWLS 704-370-0100
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& Sake Bomb Fun!
704-341-5550
HHM.Stress.QtrPgAd 3/20/09 9:36 AM Page 1
Join Us For A Lunch & Learn
STRESS REDUCTION IN THE WORKPLACE

Work is not easy in the current economic environment.
Let us help. Join us for lunch and we’ll help you understand steps you
can take to protect your mental and physical health by reducing
your stress. Our Lunch & Learn is the last Friday of Every month.
The Seminar is Free and the healthy deli lunch is 15% Off,
Reservations required. Call 704-927-8544 to reserve your place.
Historic South End

2707 South Blvd.
704.522.8123
www.hemarket.com
SAVE 10% ON ALL VITAMINS EVERY TUESDAY!

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Kitchen & Bath
is located within
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Enjoy a day at the spa 1719 South Blvd., Suite 1
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TradeMark
Trademark
uptown
333 West Trade Street
704.332.4008
whatsyourtrademark.com
When you take up residence at the
TradeMark don’t be surprised if everyone
suddenly wants to be your new best
friend. Like you, they’ll want spend lots
of time enjoying the views outside the
floor-to-ceiling windows of your condo.
They’ll also want to take advantage of the
Quarterside
Quarterside Seventh-floor pool terrace that features a
Corner of Sixth Street and McDowell Street walk-through poolside waterfall, fire pit,
704.332.4008 pool table, and much more. And just two
blvdcentro.com blocks from the Square, you may just find
Located on McDowell Street between that your pad becomes the official after-
Sixth and Seventh Streets, Quarterside is a party spot for all of those new “friends.”
duo of condo developments that will bring
new life to the First Ward neighborhood. TheTrust
The Trust
The Quad and The Ledge are designed 139 South Tryon Street
for those who want the convenience of 704.763.0063
living close to the city without the high thetrustcharlotte.com
price of living at its center. With one- and The Trust is the ultimate in exclusive,
two-story floor plans that range from 500 luxury living in the heart of Uptown. With
sq. ft. to just over 1,000 sq. ft., and interior only eight condominiums, your neighbors
trademark
amenities that include hardwood floors, are few but the features are virtually
contemporary wood cabinetry, and 10 ft. endless. Each residence is custom
smooth ceilings, the condos at Quarterside designed and includes fine finishes like
provide the perfect opportunity to be close quarterside Italian cabinetry in the kitchens, spa-like
to all the Uptown action. tubs and showers in the bathrooms, and
imported hardwood floors throughout. On
Skybridge Terrace
Skybridge Terrace the roof of this historic building is a terrace
710 Calvert Street that features an outdoor kitchen shaded by
704.944.9206 skybridgeterrace.com a translucent canopy, and an area in which
Although it is in its infancy, once it is fully to sun, a small dog run, and a landscaped
developed, the West Morehead corridor space that includes a bit of grass for a
will be one of the best places to live near small urban lawn.
Uptown Charlotte. Skybridge Terrace is
set to be one of the landmark buildings
of the warehouse loft district revolution.
Named for the skybridge that will
connect the two buildings planned for the
development and that (yes, you guessed
it) will double as a terrace, the condos will
offer great views of the city and the tree-
lined streets of Wesley Heights.
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uptown
Vue
Vue Charlotte
Charlotte
Corner of Fifth and Pine Streets 3030
3030 South
South
704.374.0089 South Boulevard and New Bern Street
vuecharlotte.com 704.665.9988
When complete, the Vue will stand 51 3030south.com
stories and tower over the Fourth Ward. All aboard the LYNX Blue Line to New
Set off a few blocks from the center of the Bern station and to 3030 South—one
city, residents will enjoy the panoramic of the original modern developments
skyline views and close proximity to the along the light-rail line. A mix of three-
countless conveniences and amenities story town homes and one- and two-
Uptown has to offer. In addition to the bedroom flats, 3030 South combines
luxurious appointments inside each of its architecture, landscape, and urban
409 condos, the Vue will feature an outside design to create a community that is
eighth-floor “amenity deck,” with a 25-yard hip, fun—and all within a hop, skip, and
heated pool, a tennis/basketball court, and a ride from some of Charlotte’s most
a pet park. happening scenes.
Walnut Hill
Walnut Hill the vue Royal Court
Royal Court
Wesley Heights Way 610 East Morehead
704.749.3564 704.944.9206
walnuthillcondos.com royalcourtcondos.com
royal court
Head north on Trade Street and veer onto Not to worry about your deposit
Wesley Heights Way to see one of the most here, move into eleven stories of the
affordable living opportunities available swankiest tower on Morehead in mid-
within walking distance of Uptown. The March. Unobstructed view of Uptown
interior of these Craftsman-style flats and will great you when you come home.
townhomes are loaded with all sort of Dilworth is your backyard and the
goodies, including 42-inch maple cabinets, mineral pool on site is your spot to chill
granite countertops, and stainless-steel out at after a long day.
appliances. And the low HOA fees won’t
require you to take out a second mortgage.
south end
dilworth
cotswold
Dilworth
DilworthWalk
Walk
Kenilworth Avenue and East Boulevard
980.229.8852
dilworthwalk.com
With all of the walking you can do from
here, you may want to pick up an extra
pair of shoes from the running store down
Southborough
Southborough the street. Whether you need coffee or
Corner of Lyndhurst and Magnolia groceries, a new bauble or an outfit—all
Avenues are just footsteps away from your front
704.374.1252 door. Luckily, style was not sacrificed
liveinsouthborough.com for convenience. Enjoy hardwood floors
Southborough is a mixed-use in the main living areas, brushed nickel
development combining the best hardware, and French doors that lead to
elements of Dilworth and South End your own private terrace.
designs. If you love the edgy, industrial
style of South End, check out the three- Elementat
Element atCraig
CraigAvenue
Avenue
level Deck Towns. Each of the six units 4543-4611 Craig Avenue
features a front façade full of windows, 704.345.8209
outdoor living spaces on levels 2 and cobaltdbs.com
3, and a roof-top terrace accessible Combine eco-friendly green development
via spiral staircase. If the traditional with modern design and you get Element,
domesticity of Dilworth is more your a seven-home infill development planned
taste, then the bungalow style of the on roughly .25-acre lots on Craig Avenue in
two- and three-bedroom townhomes, Cotswold.
complete with front porch, is definitely Liquid Design has created 2,300 to 3,000
worth a look. SF contemporary single-family houses with
element at craig avenue
10-14 foot ceilings, flat roofs, expansive
TheTremont
The Tremont windows and soaring open spaces for
Corner of Cleveland and Tremont developer Cobalt DBS. This little niche of
southborough Avenues modernism is just down the street from an
704.906.1645 espresso at Cotswold mall and less than 15
tremontcharlotte.com minutes from the action of Uptown.
The Tremont is where you want to be if
you love the craftsman-style bungalows
of Dilworth but don’t want to take
on the task of renovating one of your
own. Staying true to the structural
characteristics of the neighborhood,
this 45-unit development has classic
cedar-shake shingles and copper south end
roofing along its multi-gabled exterior.
The transom windows allow lots of
dilworth
light to brighten each unit’s interior, cotswold
all of which are nicely appointed
with crown molding, hardwoods, and
Shaker-style cabinetry.
¡THE WORLD’S LONGEST
CONTINUOUS DRUM•A•THON!
drum Knowing when to buy, when to sell and

when to lease in this changing marKet
can be a challenge; but, it doesn’t take a
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¡the power is in your hands! estate investment.
MAY16 &17 it’s not magic…prophecies…tea leaves or chicken

bones…it’s just the facts. anyone can make a smart
informed decision by listening to sound advice from
the experts at my townhome…even Joe.
to see how my townhome can make your next

¡REGISTER TODAY ONLINE! decision a calculated one contact:
24+ HOURS OF DRUMMING Fred benardella
(704) 965.4791
CELEBRITY ARTISTS or email him at fred@mytownhome.com.
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time the marKet - my townhome
noda
28th
28th Row
Row
2424 North Davidson Street
704.540.9700
28throw.com
With tasty Amelie’s French Bakery
located near the entrance of 28th
Row, it’s not such a bad thing that
you have to walk a few blocks to get
to the center of NoDa. However, with
exciting features like spacious terraces
averaging 70 sq. ft. in size, soaring
twelve-foot ceilings, and custom Royal
Royal Truss
Truss
appointments throughout, even the 825 Herrin Avenue
heavenly aroma of fresh croissants 704.726.0057
steel gardens
may not be enough to lure you into the royaltruss.com
streets. Royal Truss redefines the term “open
floor plan,” with curved 20 ft. ceilings
Fat City
Fat City Lofts
Lofts and 8x10 doors that roll up to erase the
3123 North Davidson Street boundary between patio and living
704.552.1900 room. Equally divided into 24 units,
fatcitylofts.com polished concrete floors and exposed
At the corner of 35th and Davidson steel trusses connect this renovated
is where urban funk meets city warehouse to its industrial past, while
chic. Brick and glass intersect to fat city lofts mosaic tile, granite counter tops, and
create a modern structure influenced stainless steel appliances perfect its
by the local setting of the NoDa residential present.
district. The 26 lofts of Fat City, each
with its own private terrace, will sit Steel Gardens
Steel Gardens
atop new restaurants and retail to 825 Herrin Avenue
become a vibrant part of the dynamic 704.370.2861
NoDa scene. Paying homage to the steelgardens.com
neighborhood vibe and this plot’s If you put your dog on the house-
previous tenant, the 70 ft. wall facing hunting trail, don’t be surprised if he
Uptown will become the brick canvas leads you to Steel Gardens. Whether
for new graffiti art produced by local it’s the fenced-in patios of these three-
artists. story townhomes or the park across
the street that caught his attention,
what is sure to catch yours is the
spacious floor plan, with its third-floor
master bedroom and private rooftop
terrace, as well as a close proximity to
the NoDa ‘hood.
central 27
noda
Central
Central2727
1611 Central Avenue
704.617.7500
central27.com
When you live at Central 27, your
Mercury
MercuryNoDaat NoDa significant other may be jealous
Corner of 36th and North Davidson Streets to discover how much time you’re
704.909.8066 spending next door at Zada Jane’s. But
mercurynoda.com that’s okay. With all of the retail and
The center of NoDa is already known restaurants close at hand, you’ll have
for its hot music and art scenes. But plenty of ways to show her the love. If
when Mercury NoDa begins to rise, this that’s still not enough, just roll up the
neighborhood will only get hotter. Phase windowed wall of your living room and
1 will be a three-story structure with 28 spend a romantic evening watching
condos on the second and third levels and the sunset from comfort of your couch.
retail on the first. For those who want to
be a bit higher, you’ll have to wait for the TheVyne
The Vyne
six-stories planned for Phase 2. Located Corner of Briar Creek Road and Central
on 36th Street, the Neighborhood Theatre Avenue
will literally be your next-door neighbor. mercury at noda 704.927.4456
And with NoDa’s popular restaurants and thevyne.com
shops equally nearby, you’ll find living at The Vyne is as green as its name
this center to be “Oh so cool.” suggests. A development with an
environmental conscience, the 99 flats
SeiglePoint
Seigle Point have eco-friendly interior features like
Corner of Tenth Street and Seigle Avenue low-VOC carpet and paint, bamboo
704.362.3433 wood floors, compact fluorescent light
seiglepoint.com fixtures, programmable thermostats,
Seigle Point offers a great opportunity to and quartz countertops. A few blocks
live in a park-like setting within the city’s from the heart of Plaza-Midwood and
outward sprawl. Situated near Alexander just three miles from the city center,
Park and the proposed Little Sugar it’s easy to get from where you live
Greenway expansion, at Seigle Point you’ll to where you play in a low-carbon-
enjoy natural surroundings as you bike or footprint kind of way.
walk your way toward the center city. The
spacious interiors of these 50 classically
designed townhomes offer a fresh and
affordable alternative for in-town living.
plaza midwood
plaza midwood
SteelHaus
SteelHaus
1600 Fulton Avenue
704.374.1292
thesteelhaus.com
After seeing the building, it’s hard not
to say the name, “SteelHaus” without
a deep, dramatic Austrian twang—it
just doesn’t sound right otherwise. Its
angled exterior, wrapped in galvanized
aluminum panels, comes to a point
that strikes outward toward the street,
commanding the attention of anyone plaza vu
traveling along Central Avenue. The
interiors of the twelve residential lofts
are more refined than its exterior. The
9 ft. ceilings are smooth and finished
and the concrete floor is softened with
carpet-tile flooring. The only steel you’ll
find inside is on upgraded appliances
steelhaus
PlazaVu
Plaza Vu
Corner of The Plaza & McClintock Road
704.604.9303
plaza-vu.com
The view comes standard, along with
wood floors, granite countertops,
and stainless-steel appliances in the
one- and two-bedroom condos of Plaza
Vu. Ranging from 823 to 1,048 sq. ft.,
the 24 units will be divided among
two buildings connected by two sky
bridges and sharing a rooftop terrace.
Its distinctive V-shaped roofline will
return architectural energy to this
former rundown lot, and its residents
will enjoy the low stress of living in the
heart of Plaza-Midwood.
words: kurt rambis
It was when the helicopter made its second pass over the
house, so close that the thundering repetition of beating rotors
rattled the glasses in the kitchen cabinets, that I knew they had
finally come. Life as I knew it was over for me now, but fortunately
I had several years to think about how I’d handle this day: the
stoic manner in which I’d hold my head while being dragged
away in handcuffs, silence down at the station. That plan was
swiftly overrun by panic as my tightly closed blinds withered
under the intensity of powerful spotlights. The sound of my name
growled with contempt through a bullhorn, and the armed jingle of
footsteps on all four sides of the house had suddenly become too
much.
Just as the front door splintered to pieces, I was suddenly—
very gratefully and calmly—staring at the familiar popcorn ceiling
of the house I’d lived in for now over a year. I was in bed. The
ceiling fan spun methodically overhead, and reminded me an
awful lot of a helicopter. The sound of a helicopter emanated from
a bulldozer grading a lot next door, the pitch of the engine rising
and falling. Landscapers who only came by once a month to mow
the lawn, coincidentally, were there too—their various power tools
working in concert with the giant earth mover to encourage an
already very nervous and unsettled sleeping mind.
This was just another sunny Saturday morning, though. Birds
chirped while coffee brewed. For the moment no one was riding
away in a SWAT truck, and there were no barking police dogs. I
muttered “Fucking A” as I got up and shrugged off the dream, but
I’m certain it sounded a lot more like a nervous sigh of relief. When
I walked into the next room, I found the eight-by-eight-foot indoor
grow room I’d designed and fabricated, dutifully operating like a
Swiss-made timepiece.
Powerful lights hummed as they tried hard to best the sun,
and along with a team of strategically placed fans, tanks of carbon
dioxide, yards of extension cord, crinkly sheets of Mylar, and
timers, had successfully brought another sea of green to the verge
of fruition. Thick black plastic sheeting prevented even the tiniest
ray of artificial light from escaping to the outside world.
These sensitive, often temperamental roommates were
plastic bag was intoxicating. It was exhilarating. It was indescribably
addictive.
But it was not be nearly enough.
Growing up, I was a smart but shy kid. It was in high school that I
developed a love of smoking little green buds, and while still completing
advanced-placement classes and planning for college, every morning
I fell out of a smoke-filled Jetta with my stoner pals, and in a daze,
strolled to first period. Of course I knew that what I pulled from the
plastic bag tucked away in my sock originated from a living plant, I just
never gave much thought to where my bong hits came from beyond that.
hardy and It was the same level of consideration, I suppose, that I gave the cows
strong—as long who supply the prepackaged porterhouse steaks I buy from the grocery
as their artificially created store.
conditions remained ideal: 85 “They love to eat chicken shit,” my buddy told me matter-of-factly
degrees, with a slight breeze and 50 while teaching me the basics of indoor gardening some three years
percent humidity. I had to check on later. This new pastime had entered my life with all the careful planning
things twice a day to make sure of this, and preparation of a car crash. He showed up at my house one warm
and the rhythmic turning of the exhaust April evening with a taped-up cardboard box, explaining something
fans often had a soothing hypnotic effect. about having a “few extra clones he wanted to find a good home for.” In
The way they chopped up the scene under my excitement, I found it difficult to focus on his words—or the fact that
the lights reminded me of watching I didn’t even know what a clone was—and not on the four little green
projected movies back in grade plants, each in its own black plastic pot, on the floor in the closet in front
school, back when I dreamt of of us.
lighter topics, like BB guns, girls, That day, after a surprisingly quick trip to the Depot, he taught
and flying through the clouds me about the importance of nitrogen, phosphorous, and potassium. He
like Superman. explained how plants breathe carbon dioxide and need fans to deliver
Of all the aforementioned essential fresh air and to keep their environment at an ideal 85 degrees.
equipment, the plastic sheeting He taught me the importance of the correct ratio of light and darkness,
is the least expensive, but perhaps how this is what controls the plant’s life cycle and ultimately causes
the most important. It allowed me to them to flower—or, to “bud.” Most importantly, he gave me the four
hide this worrisome but seductively exotic-looking and pungent seedlings whose pedigree could be traced
profitable secret from the world—a all the way back to Holland. They were now mine, and like Jack and his
world in which I was an active newly acquired magic beans, my life was about to change dramatically.
participant. By day I was a full-time That very first night, I didn’t sleep much. It wasn’t so much that
student, and then a white-collar my bedroom reeked of wet poultry manure, but that I knew the four little
worker. Unlike many who commit plants that I couldn’t take my eyes off of, seedlings that knew I could
totally to the pursuit of this shorter, get in big trouble for, were going to change my life. No longer would
faster, but risky route to easy money, I be a mere cannabis consumer, but a proud producer! A courageous
I was riding the fence. I had one foot bootlegger of something that should and would one day be perfectly
hidden in a dark and shadowy world, legal. I was now a horticultural artist who would be a hero to some and
and the other squarely planted in an outlaw to others. Success, I would learn later, depended heavily on
plain view—out in the real world. remaining anonymous to both parties.
Yep, the 800-pound gorilla in I was as amazed by the readily available wealth of continually
the next room was doing just fine, updating information on cultivation techniques for this specific variety
and in one more week I’d be holding of plant as I was by the ever-improving array of products with which
a freezer bag filled with enough cash to do so. Even though my penchant for living life in a daze eventually
to justify all the nightmares, paranoia, faded, the thrill of “easy” money only grew. My clearer head made me a
and sickening anxiety—ten rubber- much more effective grower, but while I was no longer a smoker, I was
banded rolls of assorted 20s, 50s, and certainly still determined to keep plenty of those who were smokers
100s to be exact. At $1,000 per rubber happy. Happier still was I, who methodically delivered the produce—as if
band, it was by far the most cash I’d for some sort of underground farmer’s market—and promptly collected
ever held in my hands. The $10,000 payment, year after year after year.
staring back at me through the thick Keeping a secret is tough. Living one for many years takes a toll
on a person’s psyche that eventually becomes could not let go of the handle. Every rubber- side door.
unbearable. For the better part of a decade, banded wad of bills, so thick it smelled like a My last big “mammoth” harvest was
plastic sheeting, self discipline, and common freshly cut lawn, in an instant washed away curiously still on the floor though—bulging
sense enabled me to hide this part of my life so all the ulcers, sleepless nights, and paranoid through two giant black lawn bags. Of course
well that it would have impressed a CIA station delusions. Troubling thoughts of sharing an it was instantly obvious what had happened,
chief in some shadowy country in the Middle eight-foot cell with a 300-pound lifer were and why. But I tried hard to connect the dots,
East. Toward the end, I began to stumble, drowned out by flat-screen TVs, trendy to figure out why someone would have left
and at times was more like a kindergartner furniture, and cash-financed trips around the their valuable plunder sitting bagged up on the
gushing newly discovered information on the world. floor—these thoughts racing through my brain
playground. Bottled-up feelings and emotion For years, I chased that one last harvest, in the time it takes to tie a shoelace.
will inevitably find their way out, whether to the elusive big one that I knew I wanted to He hadn’t left yet.
a trusted friend or newfound drinking buddy retire with. It had to be big. Really big. And I His shoes gave him away as he hid
at the bar. Slacks and collared shirts and forged a solemn pact with myself not to do behind a sheet of Mylar in the corner. His hasty
business meetings by day, and overalls, pH anything crazy like shut down my operation attempt to hide and no doubt ambush me was
testing, mixing pesticides, and fertilizing plants until I had in my hands the proceeds from this just barely foiled by a pair of black Vans, which
late into the night. Year after year the prism eventual mammoth yield. That was too close were barely visible eight feet across the floor.
through which I saw reality became ever more to being a quitter. That would be like retiring Involuntarily and angrily, I blurted out, “I’ll
fractured. My judgment began to warp. without having that gleaming championship fucking kill you!” I’m still certain that it was
I knew for several years that what I was ring. him that wanted to dispose of me, though. He
doing would eventually either drive me insane It was an unusually foggy Monday had successfully cased my place, waited for
or land me in prison. Or both. But I wouldn’t morning nearly a year ago when I diverged me to head off to work, and then went to work
stop. I knew the bags of money would never be from my daily commute to work and circled himself. He heard me pull into the driveway,
enough to take off and buy my own island, but back for the mug of coffee I’d left sitting on come in the house, and he had plenty of time
they were just enough to rationalize the risk my kitchen counter. I’ve always been detail to make a getaway. I understand his reluctance
and the worry. I was able to buy and do things oriented—since I could talk, but in the some to leave such a valuable prize on the floor after
that I shouldn’t have been able to. I made as 13 years after I first learned about chickenshit, coming so close, mere minutes away from a
much money working six hours a week at my I had come pretty close to clinical OCD. I successful heist.
“night job” as at my nine-to-five gig. noticed and analyzed everything. Small details. Thankfully my unintentional and
Paranoia eventually wrapped itself Microscopic details. I always know exactly unrehearsed bluff worked.
around me, though, and squeezed tightly where my wallet and keys are. How long the Even though I had no weapon, and in a
like an overgrown Burmese python. The work van sat in front of the neighbor’s house. parallel universe he surely would have said,
ridiculously creative nightmares intensified. How many rolls of toilet paper are left in the “No, I’ll fucking kill you,” while pulling the
The mailman couldn’t be trusted, and low- closet. How this month’s power bill compared trigger, he instead bolted through the open
flying helicopters were scrutinized for a to last month’s. There’s no need for a grocery door like a startled rabbit under a full moon.
reassuring “3” or a “9,” or, better yet, a hospital list, as I can open the fridge and pantry one I’ve never in my life seen someone run that
logo. Movies like Blow and Goodfellas were time and take an accurate mental snapshot of fast, and as I chased the blur through swirling
no longer fun to watch. After so much time what’s there to the store with me. mist he planted a hand and sprang so high
had passed, there were now an uncomfortable Rarely, the odd cup of coffee slips over the gate that it didn’t even seem real. He
number of people who knew my secret. Most through the cracks, but I never, ever forget to was like a cartoon, and this might have been a
posed no danger, but the mere thought of lock a door. Ever. scene from a comic book.
others turned my stomach: angry exes and It stuck out as jarringly as a raver at Fate had ended an unforgettable chapter
formerly reliable friends who now partied, and a hoedown, but given that I had also just of my life just as abruptly as it once had begun.
talked, way too much. forgotten my coffee, I wrote off the unlocked While I never did get that elusive
What had begun as a side project, a well garage door as yet another early-Monday- championship ring, I played my heart out.
meaning, but slightly unethical, additional morning oversight. I’m thankful to be alive and to able to tell this
stream of revenue—what was never by It wasn’t, though. story—and glad I’ll be sleeping in a bed tonight
any means intended to be a career—had I froze when I walked in to make sure and not bunking with a 300-pound cellmate.
consumed my life. Plenty of cash still rolled nothing was amiss. Instead I found that my And I’m most grateful to the little cartoon
in, but my justifiable feelings of fear and carefully constructed, maintained, and hidden man who ran so fast and jumped so high, for
anxiety that I somehow stifled during the days indoor garden had been robbed. Mylar hung bringing me back to reality.
exploded in ever-more-terrifying Technicolor partially torn from the ceiling, and daylight that That secret that nearly broke me. U
night after night. hadn’t touched the inside of this place for years
But like a compulsive gambler, I simply drifted in through a forced window and an open

eden
pictures: fenix fotography | fenixfoto.com

makeup: scott weaver
hair: amy swaney & tina patronis | shine salon
stylist: lily angel & erin finnegan
clothing: lotus | ladyinlotus.com
models: wilhelmina-evolution | evolutionmt.com
crew: donamari d’andrea
location: the orchid conservatory at daniel stowe botanical garden| dsbg.org
words: dawn petalino
sampling
You’ve seen me, I’m sure. I’m the one work. It was one o’clock, and like Pavlov’s Once in a while I try the sweet mango salsa
stroking the jars above my head, lifting dog I found myself speeding down streets on chips, but I’m reminded, again, sweet
them down from the shelf, pondering toward Dean & DeLuca, hissing at red and hot are only good in love affairs.
their labels with drawn brow and pensive lights and watching the clock. I raced into We all want to be part of something
frown, only to set them back again. I’m their parking lot, finding a space in the “15 larger. I want to belong to the world of
the one waiting for the aisle to clear itself minutes” zone, though I knew I only had “lovely” and “oh my, how delightful, isn’t it?”
before wandering to the basket, the plate, five. I want to feel luxury, though I can’t always
the covered plastic dome, lifting its lid Leaping from my car, I checked afford it. Fortunately, I live in a world where
and reaching in for a free sample of pure my watch again, slammed the door shut I am able to do that, and it happens every
pleasure. My mouth waters and my eyes with my foot, and sprinted to the front day around noon.
glaze over as food that actually carries entrance. Once there, I took a moment for For a few moments I’m permitted
texture and flavor celebrate with popped a deep breath, straightened my jacket, and to play with the flavors and foods of a life
corks and confetti in my mouth. I am a smoothed the flyaway hair before entering. richer than mine. I remember what I love
grown woman, and yet I make a point of Casually I walked in. and want, and wait patiently for these
stopping at the finer grocery stores around “Can I help you?” they asked. things to re-enter my world, albeit in their
noon, one o’clock, or one-thirty at the latest. “Oh, no,” I said, “I’m just looking.” Do own time.
After that, the free samples are gone. I fool them when I pick up the jars, turn to Till then, I’ll wander the aisles, from
I remember a past life when I could the ingredients and wonder aloud, “Oh my, tray to tray, of Dean & DeLuca and treat
buy good cheese, fine wines, and fresh what’s this?” myself to the smaller gifts life gives me.
breads on a whim. Now I finger the My eyes have already scoped out Often, I find, I really need a lot less than I
cellophane packages, holding their weight the little tables laid out like a trail of bread think I do to feel satiated—both with food
in my hand before returning them to the crumbs with their trays and plasticware, and with my world. My sampling reminds
bin. I linger through elegant bottles of wine ready for the buying masses to try. But me that life can sometimes be simpler than
lined up like trophies on display, boasting of I wear my hunger boldly with bravado. I make it. U
subtle oak overtones and hints of lavender. Sampling is not for sissies. One must act We are now taking submissions for short
I breathe in deep and sigh, louder than I like they have the right to be there and stories that will fill this space. For details
mean to. Today I settle for a sampling of the daringly stand in front of the tray while go online to uptownclt.com and click the
finer tastes, permitted only for purchase by dipping pretzels in thick seeded mustards, SUBMISSIONS tab on the website. We’ll
those with bigger wallets. spreading soft brie on bits of chewy bread, pay $100 if we run your piece.
I recall just yesterday having only ten or lapping red pepper jelly oozing over
minutes to spare before needing to be at cream cheese onto thick, white crackers. Reach Dawn at dawnpetalino@yahoo.com


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2009

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