Professional Documents
Culture Documents
What is love?
Besides knowledge, a necessary factor is priority. Fromm (1956) The master of love must be an ultimate concern. However, most people think: ~Love will conquer all. ~Sensation (Feel) of love was enough.
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Initiating
People become aware of each other in social settings and begin to establish rapport with each other. Relatively easy topics, weather, hobbies, movies, and other superficial issues are discussed.
Idealizing
Initial evaluations occur based on perceptions of physical appearance, common interests, and personality. Similarity in attitudes and values assessed, but they are often biased by what people want to see.
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Intensifying
Individuals begin to feel more comfortable with each other. Premium placed on spending more time with each other. Begin to do favors for each other, and generally help each other meet their needs to feel part of a relationship.
Integrating
Perceptions change from you and me to we. Start to empathize each others concerns and lend a sympathetic ear to the problems that each has.
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Bonding
Sexual intimacy occurs. Self-disclosure increases, and people begin to share their most intimate hopes, dreams, and fears with each other. Help each other to find solutions to issues in their lives.
Bonding
Able to understand and appreciate areas where their attitudes and values are similar and different. Begin to share future goals that involve each other.
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Bonding
Commitment and identity as a couple deepens. Appreciate each other more and are better able to accept each others limitations.
Differentiating
Individual interests are explored, and they may spend less time doing things together. Do not rely as much on relationship for satisfaction in life.
Reaffirming
In spite of emerging differences in attitudes and interests, partners continue to trust each other and perceive their relationship as an important part of their lives. Discuss issues and work together to successfully perform long-term relationship roles, such as husband-wife, mother-father, grandparents
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control.
Obsessive love has little to do with love
relationship.
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The person assumes the right to control how you live and behave; You have given up important activities or people in your life in order to keep this person happy; The person devalues your opinions, your feelings, and your accomplishments; The person yells, threatens, or withdraws into angry silence when you displease him/her.
their mates tend to suffer and tolerate more physical abuse (Wallace, 1996).
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long.
Casual () Enjoys relationships, but doesnt want to be
committed.
Uninterested Simply is not interested in any relationship.
Which one represents your love schema now? Which one(s) is/are your obstacles to love?
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Passion
Commitment
do healthy relationships.
2. Fulfillment of needs
What are the needs in love??? Mutual satisfaction of needs based on open and
Your Action
Examine any love relationship in terms of the
various elements
If some dimensions are missing, express this
etc?
Do I feel loved? Do I feel affirmed? Intimate love enhances self-esteem Do I express my love to my lover?
to your partner. The more open and honest, the greater the possibility of achieving a satisfying relationship.
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Sexual Fulfillment
Sex is good for mental and physical health. Sexual satisfaction is related to marital
Sexual myths
1. Love = Sex 2. Passion and sex is important in the
satisfaction. Healthy sex is built up on a mutual, responsible and healthy relationship. Not the reverse!!! i.e. sex does not make a problematic relationship become healthy. It just makes it even worse.
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maintenance of relationship.
3. Males enjoy sexual relationship more.
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before you have sex with a new partner for the first time.
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with them for some other reason? (pressure, guilt, boredom, alcohol, etc.) Do I have the materials I need to have safe sex? (Condoms, dental dams, lube, etc.) What will I do if having sex with this person leads to pregnancy, and, if pregnancy is an unacceptable outcome, what can I do to avoid it? (Contraception, avoidance of vaginal intercourse, using the morning-after pill in the event of a contraceptive failure, etc.) What will I feel like if this sexual encounter leads to Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs)? Will I be happy with the decision I am making when I wake up tomorrow morning?
healing. 2. Get Sad~ You're allowed to give yourself a couple of days to mope around and cry. Tear up some love notes, sob to your friends, and write some poems (just don't publish anything online - you'll regret it later). 3. Leave Your Ex Alone~ You both need a little time apart from each other, or else you'll never stop hurting. In a couple of months, you might be ready to try out a friendship, but for now, try to avoid all contact. 4. Keep Yourself Busy~ Hang out with your friends and family, play some sports, hit the gym or dig into your favorite hobbies. It'll make you feel good and get your mind off of the breakup.
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Ending Relationships
Keep your self-esteem independent of the
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emotional stability, dependability, pleasant disposition. Differences tend to be nearly universal across culture. Women place higher value on socioeconomic status, intelligence, character, ambition, financial prospects. Men place more emphasis on youthfulness, physical attractiveness, interest in raising a family.
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partners is associated with problems. Perspective taking tendency to put oneself in another persons place - may be associated with marital adjustment.
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Reference
Albo, B. (2011). Break up rules: What not to do after a break up. Retrieved from http://dating.about.com/od/breakupsrejection/tp/afterabreakup. htm Ashworth, H. (2011). How to break up: The best way to break up with someone. Retrieved from http://teenadvice.about.com/od/datinglove/a/the_best_way_to_ break_up_with_someone.htm Branden, N. (1981). The psychology of romantic love. NY: Bantam. Forward, S. & Buck, C. (1991) Obsessive love. When it hurts too much to let go. NY: Bantam. Fromm, E. (1956). The art of loving. New York: Harper. Hatfield, E., & Rapson, R. C. (1996). Love and sex: Cross-cultural perspectives. Boston: Allyn & Bacon. Hanna, S. L., Suggett, R., & Radtke, D. (2010). Person to person: Positive relationships dont just happen (5th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall..
period?
Why do we want to make a long-term commitment? What do we expect? What type of marriage do we want and how will we
achieve it?
Are we both going to pursue careers and, if so, how
will we handle such aspects as work schedules, relocation, and conflict between career and relationships? and many more questions (refer to textbook)
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Reference
Merrill, M. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.allprodad.com/articles/dads-and-marriage/riskfactors-for-marital-problems/ Peplau, L. A., Rubin, Z., & Hill, C. T. (1976, November). The sexual balance of power. Psychology Today, 142-151. Rubin, A. (1970). Measurement of romantic love. Journal of Perspective Society Psychology, 16, 265-273. Sternberg, R.J. (1986). A triangular theory of love. Psychological Review, 93, 119-135. Sternberg, R.J. (1987). Liking versus loving: A comparative evaluation of theories. Psychological Bulletin, 102, 331-345. Wegscheider-Cruse, S. (1988). Coupleship: How to build a relationship. Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications. Wallace, H. (1996) Family violence: Legal, medical, and social perspectives. Needham Heights, MA: Allyn and Bacon.
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