VOLUME TWO

"One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people's minds." Frank Zappa

0 3 . 2 8 .13
Aly Jones is Marcy Park And Marcy Park is A-L-L B-U-S-I-N-E-S-S
in the 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

I S S U E 13

Calendar, Page 5

The Camareno Conundrum | Doggie Dash | 2013 Best of the Wurst Champions

P L U S : 7 D AY N E W B R A U N F E L S / S A N M A R C O S L I V E M U S I C G U I D E

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PHOTO CREDITS Around & About: Citizen Staff

1st Word

Scooter Store update. City Manager update. Corporate Welfare update. In that order.

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STAFF / CONTACT Publisher/Editor-in-Chief Mike Reynolds Director of Distribution Chase Cochran Art Director Kayla Wallace Editorial: news@txcitizen.com Advertising: sales@txcitizen.com Distribution: distribution@txcitizen.com

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TX CITIZEN 1111 N. Walnut Avenue New Braunfels, TX 78130 830.483.9563

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Last Word

Sheila Jackson Lee is super dumb. We mean, like brain damage stupid. She makes a good point about border though.

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4 2

Part I: Scooter Store Update Part II: City Manager Hunt Report Part III: Corporate Welfare

1 WORD
ST
MIKE REYNOLDS
WITH
with the new boss. Any gains will be short-term, and both Camareno and HR will pay the price in credibility. The ramifications of that will ripple out for years. If HR leaves Camareno in place as Assistant and hires somebody else for the big desk, Camareno will no longer be able to manage anyone in the Department. Any Camareno action unpopular with HR will be seen as retaliation for not getting called up. The only move HR can make to protect itself is to fire Camareno, which means Council, in failing to take responsibility for hiring the new City Manager, effectively just screwed the man any way you slice him. But managing by conflict-of-interest is, of course, nothing new in Texas Most Corrupt City . Corporate Welfare Report The latest recipient of taxpayer largess approved by the Citys Department of Corporate Welfare (4-B) is Berry Aviation of San Marcos, TX. Were luring them to the airport with $3.5 million in cash and prizes incentives. Thats about the same amount of our cash that 4-B gave to The Scooter Store when they threatened to move to San Marcos several years back. Maybe former County Judge Danny Scheel was right when he said we had a problem with prostitution in this town Berry will be bringing their employees with them, by the way, which means no new jobs for New Braunfels, but remember, thats not the point of Economic Development. The point is to make sure a small, select group of people get the largest possible benefit of tax money collected from an ever-expanding base. In this case, people that own private jets. And the people that know those people. Before your blood gets boiling, keep in mind that theres a bigger picture here that we all have to acknowledge: If we want our local power players to get their fair share of all that Mexican drug telecom money thats flying in and out of Texas, we need to keep the right people comfortable or those planes might land someplace else. Well done, 4-B. Thanks for looking out for us. Now go #### yourselves. \m/ Mike Reynolds Publisher/Editor-in-Chief

ASSISTANCE IN LIVING CO.

Chuck Baxleys

830.832.2033 2553 FM 1044

Landscaping Tree Services Fencing Rock Work Estate Mgmt Shredding Site Clean-Up & Hauling

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Scooter Store Update At press time, Anna Urbinas class-action lawsuit against The Scooter Store had over 250 former Store employees signed on to it. The suit alleges that the Store violated the WARN Act, which requires employers to provide 60 days notice before a massive layoff. According to former Store employees, The Scooter Store is fighting claims for unemployment benefits as well. Something weve heard many times over throughout the Stores saga is that the employees trusted the executives because said executives would weep during employee orientation. Its important not to judge someones character or predict their future behavior on their ability to cry. The fact that they were crying at the same point in multiple orientations over several years makes us cringe. Thats Patrick Bateman stuff right there. City Manager Hunt Two weeks ago, New Braunfels City Council voted 5-2 to fire City Manager Michael Morrison. Last week, Council voted 5-2 to have the Citys Human Resources Department hire his replacement. Theres been some confusion as to why making somebody hire their own boss is a bad idea, so well go ahead and clarify that here. First off, lets explore the options the HR Department has to work with: 1) Promote Assistant City Manager Robert Camareno to the top spot. 2) Pass Camareno over and hire somebody else. 3) Fire Camareno and replace him too. Heres what Camareno is up against: 1) Managing the people responsible for his next career move. The potential for either of these parties to abuse the other is massive. Council has inadvertently cut Camarenos legs out from under him, because if he is promoted, there will be a permanent suspicion that he either used a carrot or stick to get the job, or that his subordinates were simply trying to court favor TXCITIZEN.COM

HOT BroccoliSOUPS! Loaded & Cheese, Po & dont tato Soup our Chil forget i! YUMM M! 118 Common St.
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Monday - Saturday 7 to 3pm

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NB LIQUOR & WINE

BEER WINE SPIRITS
1308 Common St #207 New Braunfels, TX

VOTED BEST BURGERS IN TOWN!

COUNTRY STORE
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24 Beers on Tap - Full Bar Live Entertainment - Pool Tables

PAUL J. SMITH
Attorney at Law
Board Certified in Criminal Law Texas Board of Legal Specialization 651 S. Walnut Suite D #228 New Braunfels, Tx 78130

367 Main Plaza 830-625-6605

BLACK WHALE PUB

830-832-1534
www.pauljsmithlaw.com smithpaulj@msn.com

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Classic Rock Alternative Punk Reggae - Funk Soul Country

New and Vintage Vinyl and Turntables

HELP WANTED
Property and Casualty Account Manager Elite Auto Sounds is hiring for the enthusiastic personalities. Hourly + bonuses. Apply in person @ Rueckle & 35. Treetop Pediatric Dentistry is hiring a This person will Assist the producer by position of sign spinner. Seeking fresh faces and handling the marketing of new business and renewal submissions including preparing applications, surveys and other documents for submission, selection of markets, negotiations with underwriters, preparation as reviewing issued policies for accuracy and endorsements. Other duties include servicing the needs of client accounts, inputting and updating policy details and maintaining new/ renewal client files. Requirements: General Lines Property and Casualty License Knowledge of Applied Systems Programs Ability to multi task and handle a large volume of items simultaneously Good organizational skills, with high attention to detail Ability to prioritize and work independently Base Salary + Email your resume to: jobs@themundgroup.com Camp Huaco Springs Its that time of year again! Were hiring for the reservation office at Camp Huaco Springs. Competitive pay based on experience. This position begins at 30+hours per week with growth potential in the coming months. Please submit a cover letter addressing why you Must Haves: Excellent communication skills, both face to face and over the phone Excellent problem-solving skills and a desire to take on responsibility Excessive attention to detail Strong computer skills and fundamental knowledge of dental software or ability to learn new software quickly High integrity and an ability to work with all personality types, including parents, young patients, and patients with special needs High school diploma or equivalent of proposals, processing of policies as well front desk specialist.

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Spring Specials!
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Limit one per person. Exp 4/30/2013

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Massage | Waxing | Facials | Makeup

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New clients only, $10 off regular price for previous clients. Only valid Mon-Fri on Swedish massage, Couples massage not included. Exp 4/30/2013

$39 for a 1hr Swedish Massage

April is Grand Opening Month!

1528 E Common St, Ste 10, New Braunfels | 830.608.9111

Scooter Store Employees:

AT T E N T I O N

WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!

Call us to discuss our inexpensive

IF COBRA IS TOO EXPENSIVE

Must work the 3 major holiday weekends and want to be the Face for our Pediatric Dental have excellent phone etiquette. Were super office, along with a copy of your resume to flexible with hours - part time or full time, and info@treetopdental.com or drop it by our office we can schedule around your needs. Seasonal at 2810 Oak Run Pkwy, Ste 300. Visit our work only. Please stop by the RV Store on River Road to pick up an application. We would really like to hire some Scooter Store employees that have been laid off! website for more information on this position: treetopdental.com/2013/now-hiring-front-desk. The Christian Assistance Network is and previous Development experience is a must. Medical benefits, PTO and holiday pay. Please email your resume to jhenning@cam-sa.org. Visit our website at christianassistance.org. Note: This business is based in Killeen.

Short Term Medical Insurance policies.

Mile High Yard Works is hiring full or hiring a Development Director. Writing experience part time workers for fun work outside! Kick the cubical! We are looking for Labor and a delivery driver. Contact Tommy at 830-626-3455. Eclipse Window Tinting is now hiring. Contact Aaron at 830-237-2267.

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We dig so you dont have to.
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830-620-4839
www.themundgroup.com

Got a nice opening? Well help fill it, FREE! Send

M4 Cleaning Services is hiring 6 housekeepers for residential & commercial cleaning in New Braunfels. $9.00/hour. Call 210-386-6429

your job listings to gigs@txcitizen.com. Hire former Scooter Store employees, and well pay you off with up to $1,500 in advertising credit!
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Featuring Guadalupe Brewing Co. Beers

CALENDAR
THE 25TH ANNUAL PUTNAM COUNTY SPELLING BEE
Can you spell W-I-E-N-E-R-S-C-H-N-I-T-Z-E-L? New Braunfels Theatre Company is excited to present the charming and hilarious Tony Award-winning musical comedy The 25th Annual 1 2 3 Putnam County Spelling Bee beginning Friday, March 22 at the Brauntex Theater, 290 W. San Antonio St. in New Braunfels. Performances are Thursday March 28, Friday March 29, and Saturday March 30, all at 8:00 PM. Guest spellers scheduled to compete: Thursday, March 28 - Gruene Halls Dennis Peek Friday, March 29 - NBISD School Superintendent Randy Moczygemba Saturday March 30 City Council Candidate for District Two Aja Edwards-Patino AND TX CITIZEN PUBLISHER/EDITOR-IN-CHIEF MIKE REYNOLDS! Audience volunteers will be interviewed before the show, and two will 5 to appear onstage during 6 each performance, alongside 7 be selected our cast and special guest spellers! Tickets may be purchased at newbraunfelstheatrecompany.com, the Brauntex Theater ticket office, The Crossing, and Smith & Cole Dentistry. Tickets are $17 for adults, $15 for seniors and $12 for students (12 and under) though please take note of this shows PG-13 rating for adult humor and language.

Biergarten

Special Events Monthly Fresh Handmade Sandwiches and Salsa Private Parties- Catering Wedding Facilities Available Live Music Every Night Never a Cover Kid & Pet Friendly
1263 Gruene Road 830.625.1045 Call for Hours!

omalovesyou.com

BEST OF THE WURST

2013

DIRTYS BIKINI CONTEST & CRAWFISH BOIL!

Head out to Dirtys Bar and Q for a rockin bikini contest, crawfish boil, and concert featuring the Jackson Taylor Band and The Sinners! Friday, March 29. 9 Admission to the concert 10and bikini contest is $15,11with flats of mudbugs going for $20. Crawfish boil starts at 5, live music at 6, Jackson Taylor and the Sinners at 9 and the bikini contest at 10. $300 for first place, $200 for second, and $100 for third. (Bikini contestants: Register in person at Dirtys between 5 and 9pm.) Come Git Cha Sum!

Double Winner!
Best Live Music Venue & Best Biergarten
Upcoming Shows:
March 28
@ 6 Jam Night

ULTIMATE CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING

Pro Wrestling at Hansmann Country Store, 429 Watson Lane W. Virus vs Chino Reyes, King Patrick vs Por Que, Porky vs Jr Garza. March 30, 5pm, Admission is FREE! More info at 210-427-1273.

March 29
@ 6 Gerry's Kids

March 30
@ 2 The Head Hunters @ 7 Charlie and the Cool Cats

March 31
@ 2 Smoke House Blues

830.625.3200
Tattoos / Piercings / Tattoo Removal / Permanent Cosmetics
BEST OF THE WURST

April 4
@ 6 Jam Night

13 Music Show and Dance 14 will be at Geronimo VFW, 15 6808 N Country Highway 123, Geronimo, on Tuesday, April 2, from 7-10 PM. Great VFW kitchen at 5:30 PM hamburgers, etc. Adults $7--12 & under $3. This month featuring TONY BOOTH, Al Dressen, Wyatt Arp, & Madelyn Abremieit, along with a fantastic house band. Smokefree and always open to all. Reservations call Dorothy at 512-825-2180.

THE GATHERING COUNTRY MUSIC SHOW AND DANCE

April 5
@ 6 The Texas Terraplanes

2013

WINNER! BEST TATTOO STUDIO

BEST TATTOO STUDIO

GOT AN EVENT TO PROMOTE?

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AROUND&ABOUT

The Third Annual Doggie Dash to bene t New Braunfels Puppy Playland had both pooches and their people braving misty conditions in and around Cypress Bend Park for an untimed 3K and timed 5K run/walk. The event raised about $4,500 toward construction of our very own permanent, off-leash dog park! For more info on the project, logon to newbraunfelsdogpark.com.

AD SALES 830.483.9563

BEST OF THE WURST

diversions
Buffalo Wings & Rings
SILK SCREENING T-SHIRTS BAGS KOOZIES SCHOOL SPIRIT & MUCH MORE!

2013

Karaoke Trivia

WINNERS!
INGESTION
Best Burger: The Happy Cow Best Coffee:
The Gruene Grind Co ee Company Best Breakfast Tacos: El Nopalito Best Mexican: Adobe Caf

Tuesday Nights, 7:30pm Thursday Night, 7:30pm

Best Tattoo Studio:

Body Expressions

INDUSTRY

Dirtys Bar & Q

Karaoke

Best Tourist Attraction:

Schlitterbahn

Wednesday Nights, 8pm Saturday Nights, 9pm

Faust Brewing Company

Best Local Newspaper: TX Citizen

(Herald-Zeitung disquali ed for being Houston-owned.)

Trivia

Best Pizza: TIE!

Thursday Nights, 8pm

Bosses Pizza/New York Pizza Pub Best BBQ: Granzin BBQ

Best Bar: TIE!

PEOPLE & PLACES

Top Local Political Fiasco of 2012:

The Disposable Container Ban on Local Rivers.

CIVICS

830.620.0656
NBShirts@hotmail.com

Freiheit Country Store

Karaoke Trivia

Friday Nights, 8pm Saturday Nights, 8pm

786 S Castell Ave #D

New Braunfels, TX 78130

The Black Whale Pub/Phoenix Saloon

Best Bartender:

Jannah at The Happy Cow

Best Live Music Venue:

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

2012s Most Questionable Expenditure of Public Money:

The exorbitant costs associated with the cleanup of banned, and therefore non-existent, disposable containers from local rivers.

Happy Cow

Karaoke Trivia

Thursday Nights, 8pm Wednesday Nights, 8pm Monday Nights, 8pm

Best Sports Bar:

Bu alo Wings and Rings

Best Place to Dance:

Phoenix Saloon

Pool Tournament
Old Ice House

Best Make-Out Spot:

Phoenix Saloons Basement Bar

Local Road Most Likely to Trigger an Auto Insurance Claim:

Seguin Avenue, near the underpass.

Karaoke DJ

Best Biergarten:
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten Best Local Band: 3 Man Front Best Local Solo Act: Lucas Taylor F.J. Lindheimer

Thursdays, Sundays Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays

Most Horrible Local Politician Currently Holding Of ce:

Mayor Gale Pospisil

Favorite Dead New Braunfelser:

Phoenix Saloon
$12 Crawfish plates w/ trimmings
starting @ 5pm until gone

Best Trivia Night: Best Karaoke:

DIVERSIONS

Least Horrible Local Politician Currently Holding Of ce:

Kevin Webb

Karaoke Karaoke DJ KC
Fridays

Thursday Nights

Free Live Music All Day & Night

The Gulf Coast Playboys 4:00-7:00 Acoustic Song Swap 7:30-8:30 Chris King 9:00-10:00 Luke Adair & The Big Bills 10:30-1:00

Prickly Pear Lounge

Thursdays, Saturdays

Faust Brewing Company Freiheit Country Store Best DJ: DJ KC

Best Non-Of ce Holding Public Figure: Devil-May-Care Gun Owner/

Former Mayor Stoney Williams

Best Local Event that Ends in Fest: Wurstfest

Most Horrible Non-Of ce Holding Citizen: Can-Ban Architect/Former

Mayor Pro-Tem Kathleen Krueger

Auction Proceeds go to sponsor Rileys historical landmark status and to cast the bronze plaque at the state foundry.

Silent Auction ending @ 7pm

The Watering Hole Saloon

Karaoke
Thursdays

CONGRATS!
TXCITIZEN.COM

Rileys Tavern 8894 FM 1102 Hunter, TX 78132 www.rileystavern.com (512)392-3132

Country Dance Lessons

Fridays, 7:30pm - FREE

DJ

Fridays, Saturdays

CITIZEN SOUNDCHECK
Thu 3.28
Black Whale Pub
3 Man Front 9pm

Triple Crown

Dirtys Bar & Q

Tony Taylor 6pm Hair Farmers, Mamafesta, Kabomba! 9pm,$5 Ashley Stone 8pm

River Road Ice House

Fastball w/ Flywood 8pm

Black & Tan Pub

Steven Roloff & Friends 8pm 50s/60s Country Open Mic 6pm Jam Night 6pm

Uptown Piano Bar

Tavern in the Gruene

Monty Guitar Tyler 8pm, $3

Skies of Fire w/ Mute, Cauterized, Giant Salvinia, Antiquity 8pm Amanda Cevallos 9pm Flat Top Jones 1pm Junior Brown w/ The Bellfuries 9pm, $20 Forest Wayne Allen & Birdie Schneider, Jef with one F 9pm TBA 9pm

Cheatham Street Warehouse Gruene Hall

Freiheit Country Store

Triple Crown

Fri 3.29
Dirtys Bar & Q
Bikini Contest & Crawfish Boil & Fish Fry w/ Jackson Taylor 5pm, $15-$20 Emmerson Biggins 8pm Gerrys Kids 6pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten Phoenix Saloon

James Pardo 5pm Ripe Honey 9pm

Callous Taoboys, Bobby Storey 6pm Chasca, Ghosts of Dixie, Autumn Improv 10pm, $5 Barry Adams 8pm

Uptown Piano Bar Vino en Verde

The Vagabonds 8pm Michael Wade 7pm

The Happy Cow Oma Gruenes Secret Garten Phoenix Saloon

The Pour Haus

Rileys Tavern Adobe Verde

Vineyard at Gruene

Tavern in the Gruene Texas Music Theater

Henry & the Invisibles w/ Ashes of Babylon 9pm

Garrett Heinrichs 8pm Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show 9pm Fire in the Kitchen 8pm

AJs Ale House

Lucas Taylor 5pm DJ B.READ presents Two Handfuls of Funk 9pm Buggaboo 9pm

Sat 3.30
Black Whale Pub Dirtys Bar & Q
Buster Jiggs 9pm 2 River Trio 8pm T-Bone & the Blue Tones 9pm

Billys Ice House Black & Tan Pub

Rileys Tavern Adobe Verde

Triple Crown

Mugzy Flows, Midnight Buffalo, AtomLily 10pm, $5 John Maclean 8pm

Kromly w/ Digital Deadbeats, HardKandi 9pm Jonny Burke Homecoming w/ Lonesome Heroes 9pm Zane Williams 6pm Austin Gilliam 7pm

Jonathan Garcia Band 8pm Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show 9pm Matt Begley & Bitter Whiskey 8pm Drea Baby, Mafioso, Mr. Suspect, Lady G, B-Simms, Floasofy, Krazy-A, Kura, Kid Drew 9pm Folk Family Revival 9pm

The Happy Cow Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

The Head Hunters 2pm Charlie & the Cool Cats 7pm The Georges 9pm

Uptown Piano Bar Vino en Verde

AJs Ale House

Cheatham Street Warehouse

Billys Ice House

Daniel Thomas Phipps 9pm

Gruene Hall The Pour Haus River Road Ice House

Black & Tan Pub

Phoenix Saloon Rileys Tavern

Austin Mayse 9pm Bru Erdman 8pm

Sun 3.31
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
Smoke House Blues 2pm Al Barlow 2pm TBA 7pm

Phoenix Saloon

Cheatham Street Warehouse Gruene Hall

Big Red Drum Showcase w/ Opie Hendrix, Texas Tallboys 8pm Dry River Religion 8pm Blue October 8pm, $30

Adobe Verde AJs Ale House

Billys Ice House

Kyle Reed Band 8pm Slim Bawb 12:30pm Susan Gibson 5pm

Tavern in the Gruene Texas Music Theater

Aaron Watson w/ The Rankin Twins 8pm, $25 Daniel Thomas Phipps 9pm

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show 9pm Ben Morris & the Great American Boxcar Chorus 8pm

The Pour Haus

Billys Ice House

Gruene Hall

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BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Est. 1986

2013 CO-CHAMPION

BEST OF THE WURST

BEST BAR!

The Pour Haus

Larry Martin Sweeney & Friends Afternoon Jeremy Steding 8pm Tony Taylor 3pm

Gruene Hall

Tom Gillam, Charlie Faye, Jackson Parten 6pm Roots & Branches of Americana 7pm The Blooms 9:30pm 13th Annual Texas Music History Unplugged! w/ Stoney LaRue, Gary P Nunn, Jimmy LaFave, Trish Hinojosa, Joel Guzman, Cindy Cashdollar, Paul Glasse 8pm Ben Schane 6pm

FREE Country Dance Lessons

Smoke free lounge upstairs!

NEW!
Specializing in Belgian Beers 100 Import Beers 24 Beers on Tap Live Entertainment Full Bar Pool Tables Darts

River Road Ice House Vineyard at Gruene

Tavern in the Gruene

"Country Cha Cha"

Fridays @ 7:30 Followed by COUNTRY DJ DANCE

Marchs Lesson ~

Mon 4.1
Rileys Tavern
Songwriter Showcase w/ John Whipple Wes Nickson 8pm Jeff Strahan 9pm

Texas Music Theater

Live Music Tues & Weds @ 8:30pm

Karaoke Contest
Thursdays @ 9pm
Join us for Happy Hour!
11am-7pm Monday - Saturday ALL Day Sunday
1390 McQueeney Rd, New Braunfels 830-625-0045 or wateringholesaloon.com Become a friend @ facebook.com/theholenb

Join us for our

Billys Ice House Cheatham Street Warehouse Gruene Hall

Jordan Minor 6pm

Triple Crown

Wed 4.3
Buffalo Wings & Rings
Steven Roloff & Friends 7:30pm

BLACK WHALE PUB

367 Main Plaza 830-625-6605

River Road Ice House

Empty Handed Vagabonds 8pm Court Nance & Friends 8pm

Rileys Tavern
Tyler Cannon 9pm

Tavern in the Gruene Triple Crown

GIT CHA SUM

JACKSON TAYLOR AND THE SINNERS!

Watering Hole Saloon

Korey & Dana 8:30pm

Gerrys Kids 6pm Chief & TheDoomsdayDevice 9pm

CRAWFISH BOIL, FISH FRY AND LIVE MUSIC FEATURING

BIKINI CONTE ,

PRICKLY PEAR

LOUNGE

Billys Ice House

Whiskey Rodeo 8pm

COMING SOON:
A non-smoking lounge in our dining room Soft Rock Background Music WiFi Cocktail Server

Tues 4.2
The Happy Cow
Open Jam w/ Uncle Daddy 8pm Manzy Lowry 9pm

Cheatham Street Warehouse

Kent Finlays Songwriters Circle 9pm

Friday March 29
The Craw sh Start Boiling @ 5! Live Music starts @ 6! Jackson Taylor Hits the Stage @ 9!

Lobby Lounge by The Pear

THU MARCH 28
Ladies Night & Karaoke w/Johnny V THRIFT STORE THEME NIGHT Party with DJ KC & the Pear Crowd

Gruene Hall

Rileys Tavern Billys Ice House

Walt Wilkins & the Mystiqueros 6pm Ryan Ready 8pm

Dirtys Bikini Contest @ 10!

$300 First Prize $200 Second Prize $100 Third Prize "Where Texans Eat Dirty Good!" dirtystexas@yahoo.com 830-379-8883

FRI MARCH 29
Kool Karaoke w/Johnny V!

River Road Ice House Triple Crown

SAT MARCH 30
APRIL FOOLS DAY This Wont Be Hard For Some of Us

Jonathan Garcia, Kyle Reed, Steven Roloff 8:00pm Will Arrington & Brett Hauser 9pm

MON APRIL 1
TRIVIA NIGHT! With DJ KC Free Darts and Pool

Cheatham Street Warehouse Geronimo VFW

Ike Eichenberg 6pm Justin Murray Band, The Marcus Morales Mistake 9pm, $4 John Maclean 8pm

TUES APRIL 2
1051 N. IH-35 | 830-625-8017 As always, we urge you to DRINK RESPONSIBLY
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Tony Booth, Al Dressen, Wyatt Arp, Medelyn Abremieit Food @ 5:30pm Music @ 7pm

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OUT OF
Fri 3.29
Antones
NEW LOCATION: 213 W 5th St Soul Asylum w/ Grand Champeen, Darren Hoff & the Hard Times 8pm, $20-$150

Sat 3.30
Antones
NEW LOCATION: 213 W 5th St Carolyn Wonderlyn 7pm &15-$100 Eskmo, Andreilien w/ Gladkill, Applied Pressure 11pm, $16.50

The Continental Club

Club Lineup: The Blues Specialists, 6:30pm Jason Eady, 10pm Morry Sochat & the Special 20s, 12am Gallery Lineup: The Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

The Continental Club

Club Lineup: Redd Volkaert, 3:30pm Canned Beets, 10pm Soul Track Mind, 12am Gallery Lineup: Scarlett Olson, 8:30pm The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30, $5

Cowboys Dancehall
Billy Currington 7pm, $20 for 21+, $30 for 18-20

Floores Country Store

Granger Smith w/ James Lann 8pm, $12

Floores Country Store

Josh Abbott Band w/ Green River 8pm, $23

Hooligans Bar & Grill

KISS IT KISS Tribute Band 9pm

Dear Mexican: About six years ago, my wife and I adopted a little baby boy. He is pure mestizo and we are complete wabs. Im a little dark because of my mixed Arab heritage, but my wife is a major league blanca. He is a sweet little gabacho growing up in wab world. I dont mind getting the looks when we go to the taqueria in the barrio or even major league stares when we take him on our trips to Mexico. And I can handle the questions from dumbass wabsters. But I worry about the little guy growing up confused, angry and lost because he is the odd boy out. I tell him that the blood of the Aztec warriors and the conquistadors runs through his veins and, of course, he kicks whiteys ass on the soccer field. But all that seems rather inadequate. How can I help him keep in touch with his gabacho roots while living the relatively privileged wab life? Help me Mexican: this little guy is the light of my life and I want to do right by him. Wabdaddy in Texas
Dear Wabpapi: You sound like a wonderful man, but tienes your ethnic terms wrong. A wab is a nickname MexicanAmericans in Orange County use to deride unassimilated Mexicansthink hillbilly in the gabacho context. A gabacho is a gabachoin other words, someone of the

Hooligans Bar & Grill

Two Tons of Steel 9pm, $6

Red Eyed Fly

Chemical Grove 10pm, Inside The Bargain Scotch w/ Mind at Large, The Mighty Few, Standard Series, Jon Yadon Band 8:30pm, Outside

Red Eyed Fly

The Standoffs 10pm, Inside Shaka w/ The Riot Scene, The Blackout Heist, Fight Plan, Madmartigan 8:30pm, Outside

most Mexicans are caca out of luck on that gabacho race, the race that wants to deport one. Furthermore, you have to apply for a wabs, not love them. I use wab and gabacho drivers license in American states once in my column for satirical purposes, and to you establish residency there even if you teach gabachos new words, so you mustve were previously registered someone else, misread their meaning. You want to teach whether in el Norte or abroad. In the case your nio to keep in touch with his wab of Mexicans, their Mexican drivers license roots, and live the privileged gabacho life (at least the nice parts, not all the nasty would only work for so longand even if theyre here illegally, la licencia de manejar

Sams Burger Joint

Sexto Sol w/ Sauce Gonzalez & the Westside Horns, Ernie Garibay & Cats Dont Sleep 8pm, $12

Sams Burger Joint

SA Blues Society Presents: Ruben V & Jimmy Spacek 8pm, $13

racist crap). Etymological concerns aside, from Mexico wont stop la migra from Im sure there are a lot of Tejanos who are deporting your ass. Best bet? The burro. more than happy to direct you to art, music, books (buy libros from Cinco Puntos Press in El Paso, porfas), and cultural programs thatll teach your son about his proud heritage. Just dont get them talking about the Alamo, and all will be fine!

Stetson Bar
Chris Saucedo & NAO 9:30pm

Stetson Bar
Meyer Anderson Band 9:30pm

Thirsty Horse Saloon

Mario Flores & the Soda Creek Band 8pm

Thirsty Horse Saloon

Shawn Allen & the Bout Time Band 8pm

10

ASK A MEXICAN!
By Gustavo Arellano

Im a judeo (notice I dont call myself a gabacho) en Norte California, and after driving 1,800 miles to visit mi padre en Texas, I was surprised at the outrage over Mexican drivers in los estados unidos who dont have a Texas (or wherever else north of the border) drivers license. Does the U.S.A. not recognize foreign drivers licenses? If they do, isnt it simply an insurance issue, and, if so, couldnt this whole silly problem be fixed by having car insurance companies offer cross border policies? I know that the idea of getting into an accident with an uninsured driver is frightening, but couldnt this be fixed if Geico (or whomever) sold norteamericano policies? Is there a law preventing this that Im unaware of? Confuzzled Judeo en San Francisco
Dear Judeo: Thats a novel concept distinguish yourself from gabachos because your tribe definitely aint them! Even more novel is your idea of having American authorities recognize foreign drivers licenses in lieu of American ones. While wonderful and commonsense, the only problem is a matter of bureaucracy and jurisdiction. The United States doesnt recognize foreign drivers licenses per se but rather something called an International Driving Permit, which must be acquired in a persons home country before coming to the United States. Since figuring out how to drive legally is usually the last thing on an illegal immigrants mind,

Ask the Mexican at themexican@ askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or ask him a video question at youtube. com/askamexicano!
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UNCLE ESEL
Dear Uncle Esel, WAIT. Breaking news. As I write, the Does the gas-out really make oil Cypriot government was offered a bailout and companies hurt? declined. Yeah, this isnt looking good for all Sincerely, those wealthy thousandairs. Lance Love, K
Dear Lance, NO! The idea of protesting by not buying gas on one day does nothing. The National Gas-out day on April 14th was all over social media and getting reposted repeatedly. Actually, reducing the use of gas would do more but most of us will not do that (including me). This is just one of those internet posts that so many sheep will repost over and over and over and over for years to come. Originality is dead, Facebook users just keeps stabbing the corpse. Love, K

ADVICE FROM

Dear Uncle Esel, I heard they may close our airport thanks to the president and the sequester bulls**t. Is this true? How come they keep spending money to go overseas and stuff? Thank You, Tony
Dear Tony, What is in danger for closure is the airport tower. If this happened, the city would likely spend tax dollars to man the tower unless the state decided to do that, but it is unclear if anyone has thought of that. Many smaller airports operate without towers and there are procedures for pilots to operate under those conditions, but in airports with higher volume that is very risky. There is no doubt that both sides in Washington have some blame in not getting the job done, but the sequester is entirely Obama made-for- television, designed to incite his base and make the other side look like the bad guy. The hypocrisy; much like the mayor has a few favorite lines like you are out of order sir, and I think thats a personal attack, the president has his own catch phrases like; Wheres my favorite putter, and Hey Michelle, how about separate vacations? While the sequester was an excuse to stop White House tours altogether, seems like no taxpayer-cash spending slowdown will get in the way of the girls going to Atlantis for spring break or Obama getting in 18 with Tiger Playa Woods. By the way, the term sequester is an old term that primarily was used to describe the seizing of assets by the government for the benefit of its own creditors, much like what is happening in Cyprus (see above letter). While it also means to draw back spending, you have to wonder about the choice of the presidents term here given his propensity to tax and seize. Love, K

R LUNCH! NOW OPEN FO ay & Sunday

Friday, Saturd

Uncle Esel, I am amazed that in Cyprus they are seizing peoples bank accounts. How can a government get away with this? Larry
Dear Larry, Cyprus has mismanaged money worse than anyone here except maybe Detroit and our Economic Development Board. At the last minute a European bailout forestalled what may still happen; a seizure of money from everyones bank account. Imagine if you will, your local bank saying you could only get $80 a day in withdrawals and that they are going to give the government anywhere from 10-40% of your holdings if you have more than 100,000 Euros. The net effect of declaring anyone who had this much money, the equivalent of $130,000 USD, as wealthy was to set up the most profitable money grab they could. It used to be that wealthy was considered someone who had the ability to plop down cash to buy a second home or more. Yep, try getting a nice vacation home on the coast for that much money. Dont think it cant happen here? It already has. The president and his team already declared those who make $100,000 as those wealthiest Americans who can help by paying their fair share to help the uninsured. In the end, if the people stand for it, then maybe they deserve it, but had it happened, I think we would have seen the end of a tourist destination in the Mediterranean. By the way, the Russian mob is one of the biggest holders of Cypriot bank accounts. TXCITIZEN.COM

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Uncle K. Esel is a lifetime resident of our fair city, and is well known for his sage advice on a wide range of topics. If you find yourself perplexed with no one to turn to, send your question to Uncle Esel at: askesel@TXCITIZEN. COM. Be sure to write Question for Uncle Esel in the subject line of your email.

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The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act Code 552.001 st.seq.annotated Public Record and Information disclosure statues. This is a true and accurate account as of Monday , March 25, 2013 9:30 am and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. For anonymous tips and rewards, please contact Crime Stoppers at: 24-Hour Phone number 830.620.3400; Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm 830.620.3411. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Sheriffs Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

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THE

WITH MITCHELL WILBURN

Crispin Ciders The Saint For anyone in the beer/liquor/bar industry, one of the biggest conventions in the world for all that cool junk just rolled through my humble burg of Las Vegas. Im telling you, this world of all things drinkable is downright exploding. Theres so much new technology, so many new ideas, and even some new faces in the brewing scene starting to roll through. Now, I say brewing scene because (Dun Dun DUNNNN) this isnt technically a beer Im reviewing today! I know! Start your boycots, your jihads, your Russian hit missions. If I show up decapitated tomorrow, tied to a lawn chair outside of Mexico City, let this article ring out whenever the heck it gets printed. Let the peal of libertys bell shake down the wall between beers and ciders! There are more things that unite the two than separate them, you know. Both are a brewed alcoholic product, just fermented and not distilled or fortified (well, unless you are into that nasty Irish tall-boy bum-fuel, but you cant hardly even get that here). Naturally and spontaneously fermented to cause carbonation. Perhaps the most important similarity is that both markets, beer and cider, are dominated by a couple key players with no real aficionado value to them outside of their stock prices and monopoly. Not all ciders are your nasty super-sweet Jolly Rancher-flavored-teen-party liquor, and one of the few places doing some REAL artisinal cool stuff is Crispin Cider Company. Outside of Woodchucks Farmhouse ciders, Crispin is pushing the envelope on what a cider is. Theyre doing things with Sake yeast, wild yeast, singleapple varieties, and even barrel aged versions! The particular style I had gave me a good bit to go on with the label. Rack aged apple wine, fermented with trappist yeast, and finished with -get this noise - maple syrup. WOW. There is some interesting things going on in here, fo sho. Now, I cant say I know as much about cider production as I do beer, but Im imagining roughly the same process and byproducts come from a strain of yeast, trappist in this case, but I cant help but wonder if the substitution of starch sugars with fructose from apples would do something there. Very interesting stuff, and Im hoping theres more where this is coming from, enough to form some kind of experience with the stuff. This cider is an amber-gold color, and it is REALLY cloudy. Its meant to be cloudy, even mixed up into a homogenized way. It pours with no real head, but a nice little jumping fountain of sparkling carbonation bubbles, like soda. The smell is, you guessed it, apples up the wazoo. Thats probably something to get past, because there are definite notes of sweet and musty yeast. The taste is beautiful. Its not that nasty tart candy most cider is, but a very fresh flavor of apples, with complex notes of the slightly earthy bitter tannin-like skin. You taste the yeast, very similar to the kind of fruitiness you get from English abbey style beers. The dryness and crisp finish is very enjoyable, and the whole thing is rounded out by the specter of maple syrup. Just a little touch of it, giving its unmistakable flavor just enough Mitchell Wilburn is our resident bon vivant and arbiter of all things to round out the rough edges and give it an barley. Send your beer questions to him at hops@txcitizen.com. almost addictive quality.

TXCITIZEN.COM

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Last Word
With Kelly Colby
Border Madness

use for measuring border security anyway.

The DHS was created in a response to the

It isnt enough to try to restrict access to

If, like me, youre one of the people who had Which makes me wonder: What exactly it is attacks that occurred on 9/11/2001. While I these programs to legitimate citizens. That hoped some movement on immigration reform intended to measure? could be reached this year, it seems youre in for a big disappointment.

would now be willing to dismantle the monster hasnt ever worked anyway. We need to take None of us want to see the poor thrown out

Regardless of what the DHSs priorities DHS has become, there might be some value a hard look at what these systems actually do. might be, their failure here has irritated both in securing the border from possible attacks

While it looked like Republicans and Republicans and Democrats. Representative from our enemies. We do still have enemies I into the street to starve, but a certain amount Democrats might be able to get together on this, Sheila Jackson Lee even chided, What Im assume. If not, perhaps we have found a good of social Darwinism is a good thing. Hardship the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) hearing here is not really a definitive game deal of fat to cut from the budget. I dont think is an excellent incentive for people to actively the works. During interviews with Congress, get in the game. When Lee, a staunch least the job for which it was designed. DHS officials explained that not only did they Democrat (with no small amount of experience lessen the plight of the less fortunate has, in

may have just thrown a monkey-wrench into strategy, and pointed out, Youve got to its too much to ask that a federal agency do at try to improve their situation. Our attempts to I acknowledge that securing the borders many cases, made them comfortable in their

not have a way to measure border security in government incompetence), is riding you, of a nation as expansive as the United States poverty. It is a basic economic axiom that if currently but that they dont plan on having its time to listen. That said, Lee doesnt feel is a tall order. We have thousands of miles you pay for something you get more of it. The such a system for the foreseeable future. Since that being able to tell if the border is actually of border that, in many cases, runs through government doesnt seem to understand this. an assessment that the border is truly secure secure should hold up legislation on amnesty. is required before the current plans amnesty negotiations on immigration reform to a halt. All this began when the As a libertarian, I generally depart from of the country. That doesnt mean we can for our own citizens; I see no reason to import prefer that we adopted a policy of open away. We have to find some way to know Until our country gets a handle on these

some of the most sparsely populated areas Its bad enough that we have these programs

can kick in, the DHS has effectively brought conservative orthodoxy on this issue. I would simply decide the job is too hard and walk further societal burdens.

Obama borders. The idea that we would want to shut who is coming into our country. And, in problems, even I cant support an open

administration scrapped the previously used our borders to people searching for freedom defense of the Republican position on this, immigration policy, and make no mistake, administration was very interested in claiming respects, the fact that some would break laborers, I have my doubts that we are a onetime amnesty has never worked. Simply that the border was as secure as it had ever immigration laws in an attempt to do so only sufficiently secure from Al-Qaeda. been, and they didnt want to be bothered with convinces me of their resolve. These are just the any inconvenient facts that indicated otherwise. types of go-getters that made America great. The intent was to replace the old system legalizing existing illegal aliens currently in The second problem with open borders this country without securing the borders will

metric known as operational security. The or looking to work seems odd to me. In some if we cant stop opportunity-seeking day that is what is being considered. The idea of

is our destructive entitlement system. If the only result in a crop of new citizens and a new

Before something like that could be government is intent on passing out goodies crop of illegal aliens. Furthermore, opening who come to our country are actually going welfare system will attract exactly the wrong

with a new system called the Border Control implemented, though, two problems this for votes, there is no way to be sure that those our borders to all without first fixing our broken Index (BCI). The BCI was expected to be ready country has must first be solved. in 2012 I assume sometime in December, or The first problem is the very border to be the type of people who will be a benefit types of immigrants to our country.

in other words, after the presidential election. It security that the DHS seems to have no interest to us. As things stand now, our government is turns out, though, that the BCI is not yet ready. in. There are other reasons to have secure not only not trying to help people get off of In addition, the DHS has made clear that borders aside from trying to prevent migrant the welfare system (in its many forms), theyre when the BCI is finished, it wont be of much workers from coming into the country. actually advertising to find more dependents.

You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug. blogspot.com.

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