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Example of an Introduction & Conclusion

Assignment task (in brief):


Avoidance of obesity is an important factor in maintaining health and retarding the progression of chronic disease. Discuss. (1500 word essay)
Notice that the words critically analyse are not used here, but the implication of discuss is to analyse and make a judgement about whether you agree with this statement or not.

Students Introduction:
Notice the introduction: commences with a statement that sets the context includes a definition of obesity ( the key concept) with an intext reference includes a position statement (answer to the question) provides an overview of the reasons 1,2,3,4 for this judgement in the order they will be presented in the body of the essay.

When striving for health and vitality there are many conditions of the physical constitution which must be examined; one of these is obesity. According to McLaren and Meguid, obesity occurs when there is an imbalance in the height-to-weight ratio in individuals, specifically where the weight component is too high for the height factor. An excess of body fat of 20% or more is classed as obese with the lesser condition of overweight measuring between 10% and 19% (1988, p. 148). The effect of obesity can be far-reaching, affecting the quality of life physically1, psychologically2, socially3 and economically4, thus necessitating serious and focused action to avoid being obese and therefore achieving the desired result of good health. Whilst many other factors contribute to the loss of general well being and to the onset of disease, the avoidance of obesity is an important factor in maintaining health and retarding the progression of chronic disease.
Remember, there should be no new information presented in the conclusion.

Students Conclusion:
Notice the conclusion:

restates the writers position gives an overview of the justification for this position has a more detailed explanation of reasons 1,2,3,4 (discussed in the body) than is provided in the introduction.

Certainly, a causal relationship between obesity and loss of general wellbeing exists. Physically1, extreme overweight detracts from the maintenance of health through the individuals decreased ability to operate to the highest potential and increased proclivity to chronic diseases such as CVD, diabetes and cancer, and reduced life expectancy. Obese individuals are also affected psychologically2 and socially3 as they are likely to experience a lessening of the quality of life through increased physical disability, low self-esteem, social discrimination and exclusion, and elevated risk for disease. There is also an economic4 impact (e.g. provision of treatment, loss of productivity) which costs both the individual and society. Given that the prevalence of obesity in the adult population is on the rise and that it has serious implications for loss of health and wellbeing, the management of obesity is vital to maintaining health and vitality and avoiding disease.
13/04/2010

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