Verbal Communication Skills

Based on the presentation of Tom Atkinson, Boazii University, May 6, 2004 Some minor additions by Dr. Enis Karaarslan, Mula University Computer Engineering Department, March 2013

Boaz University

Tom Atkinson

Communication Skills Overview

Effective communication skills are a critical element in your career and personal lives.

We all must use a variety of communication techniques to both understand and be understood.

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Tom Atkinson

Most common ways to communicate

Writing

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Tom Atkinson

Communication Goals
To change behavior

To get and give Information

To get action

To persuade

To ensure understanding Source: CGAP Direct

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Tom Atkinson

Critical success factor for life

The majority of your perceived ability comes from how you communicate

30% What you know

70% How you communicate it

Source: CGAP Direct
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Listening Skills

Boaz University

Tom Atkinson

letiimin 4 unsurundan (Okuma , yazma , konuma ve dinleme) biri olan dinleme, hak ettii dikkati ve nemi grmemektedir. Bize okumay, yazmay profesyonel eitimciler retti . Konumay renirken de ailede herkes seferber oldu . Fakat hi kimse etkin dinlemenin nasl olacan retmedi. [1]

Boaz University

Tom Atkinson

Etkin/etkili dinleme sadece sylenilenleri duymak deil, ayn zamanda bu sylenenleri nemli bulmak, kavramak ve deerlendirmektir. [2]

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Tom Atkinson

Agenda
1. 2. 3.

Motivation How to Listen Paraphrasing, Summarizing and Questioning

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Tom Atkinson

Part 1 Motivation

Session Objectives

Be able to:

Describe reasons that communication fails List strategies to improve communication Paraphrase (izah etmek yorumlamak) and summarize conversations Use appropriate questioning techniques

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Listening and Speaking are used a lot

50% 45% 40% 35% 30% 25% 20% 15% 10% 5% 0% Writing Reading Speaking Listening 9% 16% 30%

45%

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 But not taught enough

50% 45% 40% 35% 30% 25% 20% 15% 10% 5% 0% Writing Reading Speaking Listening 9% 16% 30%

45%

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Listening is needed everywhere

Listening skills form the basis of:

Continued learning Teamwork skills Management skills Negotiation skills Emotional intelligence

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 But not practiced effectively

70% of all communication is

Misunderstood Misinterpreted Rejected Distorted (arptlm) Not heard

Source: CGAP Direct

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Further Reading

Etkin dinleme (active listening) nedir ve nasl yaplr http://enisden.wordpress.com/2011/04/12/etkin -dinleme-active-listening-nedir-ve-nasilyapilir/

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Part 2 How to Listen

Harry always was a poor listener.

What if communication were not possible?

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Frustration (hsran) and Chaos!

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Both children want the orange

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But without good listening, neither gets what they want

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Communication
Communication is the process of sending and receiving information among people
Feedback

receiver

sender

SENDER

RECEIVER

Source: CGAP Direct

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Messages not delivered due to distortion (arptma /bozulma)

Feedback

Sender

Receiver

Distortion

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What causes distortion?

Speaker

Listener

Language Wordiness Semantics Emotions Inflections (tonlama)

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Perceptions (alg) Preconceived (n yargl) notions/expectations Physical hearing problem Speed of thought Personal interests Emotions Attention span (dikkat dankl) No active listening!
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What do you think about?

I have something really important to tell you

Maybe I should get a haircut

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30% of you arent paying attention right now!

Clues that you are not listening

Are you simply waiting for your turn to talk? Are you thinking about your reply before the other person has finished talking?

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Listening and speaking require energy

Listening takes. . .

concentration and energy curiosity and open-mindedness analysis and understanding

Speaking requires. . .

sharp focus logical thinking clear phrasing crisp (kesin) delivery

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How to be an active listener

Set the stage

Choose an appropriate physical environment Remove distractions Be open and accessible Maintain relaxed, open posture that shows concentration Reflect feelings Offer acknowledgements (say uh-huh) Paraphrase (yorumla) main ideas Interrupt to clarify Confirm next steps
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Ensure mutual (karlkl) understanding

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How to be an active listener

Understand body language

Observe position and posturing (poz) Make eye contact Consider expression and gestures

Suspend (ertele) judgment (yarg)

Concentrate Keep an open mind Hear the person out Do not react to emotive (duygulandrc) words
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Active Listening (not!)

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Behaviors that hinder (mani olan) effective listening Act distracted (look at your watch!) Tell your own story without acknowledging theirs Give no response Invalidate (geersiz klmak) response, be negative Interrupt Criticize Diagnose (tan koymak) what was said Give advice/solutions quickly Change the subject Reassure (tekrar temin etmek) without acknowledgment (onaylama)

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Lets practice

Tell the person next to you about your Research Project

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Tell me your stories

Do you feel your partner understood you? What made your partner easy/hard to listen to?

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Part 3
Paraphrasing, Summarizing and Questioning

Techniques to improve listening skills

PARAPHRASE
Restate what was said in your own words

SUMMARIZE
Pull together the main points of a speaker

QUESTION
Challenge speaker to think further, clarifying both your and their understanding

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Practice Paraphrasing

Paraphrasing is simply restating what another person has said in your own words.

Use phrases such as:

In other words I gather that If I understand what you are saying What I hear you saying is Pardon my interruption, but let me see if I understand you correctly
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Practice Summarizing

Summarizing pulls important ideas, facts or data together. Useful for emphasizing key points and setting the stage for further discussion. The person summarizing must listen carefully in order to organize the information systematically.

Try out these summarizing phrases:

If I understand you correctly, your main concerns are These seem to be the key ideas you have expressed

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Two basic types of questions

1. Closed questions:

Get a one-word response and inhibit (engellemek) thought.

Questions begin with who, when and which
Invite unique thought, reflection (yansma) or an explanation. Questions begin with how, what and how come (not why!).

2. Open-ended questions:

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Practice Questioning

Rephrase the following closed questions to make them open-ended: Are you feeling tired? Isnt it a nice day? Was the last activity useful? Is there anything bothering you? So everything is fine, then?
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1. 2.

3.
4. 5.

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Lets practice

Tell the person next to you what you did last weekend

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Questions?

Feedback

Give an assessment of todays session What did you like most and least? Assess the verbal presentation? Assess the slides? How useful do you think this topic will be for future classes on communications? tom.atkinson@alum.mit.edu

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