february 1 2013 for a period of 1 year and 6 months i woke up every single morning with closing time by semisonic

stuck in my head february 2 2013 list of things to avoid: solipsism nihilism apathy the momentary point of inection at the end of a deep breath when it seems possible my lungs like inated dollar store balloons could carry me to the corners of every ceiling of every room where i have longed to share a sleeping bag with you february 3 2013 i have witnessed the slow inevitable death of a moderately well known internet personality february 4 2013 i have not accidentally set anything on re in a long time while at rst glance this may seem like wonderful news, you must know that i am compiling a list of every patch of gravel within 2 miles of my current residence that is in obvious need of a showcase of combustion-based extemporaneous modern art february 5 2013 what is the medical term for a heart attack that has lasted 2 months? the woman i saw standing at the apex of the tacoma narrows bridge couldnt tell me. no, she was too far away, slipping through the holes in the heels of my boots as my body slowly tenses to the point of immobility

february 6 2013 if you get arrested for cat murder i will block you on every social media network my convictions are strong do not test me on this february 7 2013 I AM TRIUMPHANT I HAVE DISCOVERED THE CHEAT CODE FOR LIFE IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY REMEMBER YOU'RE ALIVE LEFT UP LEFT DOWN B A OH MY GOD THIS IS WHAT SMILING FEELS LIKE february 8 2013 late at night i do not feel as sexually adventurous as i do during the day obviously this is because i am asleep february 9 2013 in liam's kitchen i feel a strong urge to punch someone i have never been in a ght before, but that wont stop me these knuckles will cry like a boy losing his virginity this kitchen, green tiles, is a good enough home for the anger i never express february 10 2013 picking the skin on my lips until my face peels off a new poem by me coming out whenever my hands stop shaking february 11 2013 i can not tell you the last time i saw the moon oh right it was the night your mom did not know my coat was sheltering my bare legs on the long drive home i listened to the radio and did not think about anything besides the improbability of my 3/4 time heartbeat matching up with a three quarters moon

february 12 2013 my biggest problem is a lack of motivation its absence has left light scars on the sides of my thumbs they twist around to the back of my neck, spidery, invisible under ultraviolet light the words spelled there can barely be seen (applause) (silence) (a short lm by every person i have ever met) february 13 2013 i have heard your voice for x number of days in a row y is the number of paces i have taken while talking to you z is how many times i have almost cried at train stations i do not remember the day i got your phone number but i am sure it was a good one february 14 2013 in 4 billions years the milky way will collide with the andromeda galaxy scientists say the earth's night sky will be ten times more beautiful than it is now in 9th grade i looked at the stars and listened to anberlin nightly before falling asleep i think the scientists can go fuck themselves not even violently clashing galaxies can steal my delight in the moon february 15 2013 this very instant i am rediscovering how deep my stomach feels when i listen to music it is a reminder, a recognition of existence if you give me ve minutes of your time i will give you a list of every haircut you have given me february 16 2013 "the cashier at this subway once tried to sell me weed" this is something i could tell my parents when they visit me

february 17 2013 running count of how many oors i have woken up on: way too many february 18 2013 love is another word for disjointed i am telling you this from my blanket fort the soft quiet place that is all mine even when you are breathing next to me i cannot help remembering i will never know you as much as you'd like never ask me if id like to trade bodies for a day or even just for a second the answer would take 19.76164384 years to explain february 19 2013 to x this very localized weight on my chest: i cheated on my girlfriend the day her best friend jumped off the sellwood bridge i cut the straps on my backpack and told my mom they wore through so she would buy me a new one i rst saw porn in fth grade in the school computer lab while working on a science fair project re: marigold fertilizer february 20 2013 we steal rolls of toilet paper off the janitor carts they form a misshapen X in the rain, claiming my future bedroom to be a thing of slight acidity the kind that wears down your driveway like my cuticles in a doctor's ofce my abysmal throwing skills have left a paper trail 257 miles to the potholes in front of your house february 21 2013 descartes and princess elisabeth of bohemia exchanged letters for 7 years "the most common cause of a low-grade fever is sadness" he told her with the utmost care i describe to you the poignancy of this statement you will never understand the beauty i see in this cartesian sadness i do not send letters anymore it requires too much letting go

february 22 2013 i want to walk on the banks of a nearly ooding river with you i want to get my feet wet with sewer overow and rainwater if you dare me to swim across the ooding columbia, i will do it even with my physical inability to oat, i am in love with the rivers in your veins february 25 2013 i am writing these poems in a facebook message to myself "crazy people are those who have full conversations solely with the mirror" she said poems are like the glass surface of a warm puddle on a calm night in early october and writing is the mess left there by your blood when you trip and crack your head on the pavement beneath february 26 2013 i want to hula hoop in the same hoop with you we will be a singular conjoined thing and the hoop will spin perfectly around us our shirts will sew themselves together and our pants will too today i felt positively about absurdism i told you, progress can be made even without us as a perfect ellipse february 27 2013 i scratch our long and tenuous history like a meth addict this is a daily affair, the nding of hair in my teeth on any given afternoon, look for me behind a cardboard window any cardboard window will do, the more screwdriver holes the better february 28 2013 when i go to see the doctor, he asks me what is wrong "poetry" i say "poetry and rubber bands across my chest" he tells me he can cure the latter; the former not so much i know i will be better when i no longer feel the urge to wear my hood indoors

thank you so much for reading.

february, 2013 is a collection of poems i wrote every day in the month of february. the poems were inspired by snapshots of images or memories i had on each of those days; i wrote them to help me remember what i might otherwise forget. february, 2013 is the second release in a longer project, in which i will release similar collections of poetry at the end of every month in 2013. the reasons are twofold: to keep a strong, specic motivation for poetry writing and to provide a space to improve the quality of my writing outside the traditional academic workshop setting. so please, feel free to critique, comment, suggest, attack, admire, or anything else which i should consider for future works.

also in 2013:
january, 2013

also by jakob maier:

beautiful mean things may

contact me:
facebook.com/iammaier iammaier.tumblr.com iamjakobmaier@gmail.com @iammaier