Zhou Tang Academic Analysis paper Getting Past NO by William Ury

In the book, Getting Past NO, the author William Ury describes a theory of negotiation that has implementation on almost every situation where the negotiation takes place. This theory consists five steps when against an uncooperative and intransigent opponent, which named as Go to the balcony, Step to their side, To reframe, Build them a golden bridge, Use power to educate. The fundamental belief behind the five steps is that how to turn a side against side negotiation into a cooperative side by side partner-style problem solving process.

Considering my own experience, I would recognize this theory is extremely useful and pragmatic. I cannot guarantee I will do exactly as the author suggest, an easy-temple and sensitive person like me, however, the theory mentioned in the book I will definitely apply it to the daily situation where I need to use the negotiation skills. Therefore, from my perspective, I totally agree with Urys theory and have believe in its real life practice. In the following, detailed analysis of the five steps of the theory will be present based on my real life experience, and the knowledge I learned from others as well as the interactive class exercise.

First is the step called Go to the balcony. Faced with a tough problem, it is very hard to be neutral and objective deal with the problem. Natural reaction is considered as the first barrier according to Ury. The suggestion from author is that keeping mental balance and stay focused on the problem itself, as when stand on a balcony and look down the whole negotiation. An easy-temple and sensitive person like me, strong feelings always dominating the negotiation at the beginning, and without doubt, the problem cannot be clearly identified and always leads to the breakdown. For instance, when I was in high school, there some issues between my head teacher and I. Therefore once he wanted to talk to me about something, asked if I would like to participate in, I said no first and I told him that there is no further discussion. Actually I did not even know what he wants to discuss with me, the reason I said no just based on the dislike feeling I had for him. Eventually, it turned out that our school wanted me to lead a team to being in the Model United Nations games. As I refused the offer in the first, my head teacher replaced me with one of my classmates who showed interest in this game. The lesson from my personal case proved essentials of Go to the balcony, that only keep an objective view of the problem will lead to further success.

Step to their side is the second step of the theory. Confront with other sides negative emotions, defensiveness, fear, anger, it is challenging to defuse the resistance. As Ury mentioned, taking the opponents side and listen, agree, acknowledge the points and feelings of opponent, it will create a side by side solving problem situation. This step is most useful and beneficial based on my experience. Arguing situation always lead nothing at the end of negotiation, however if both sides of the negotiation sit side by side to solve a problem,

win-win situation can be achieved at last. For instance, I always argued with my mother in my rebellious teenage time. There was a problem that I happened to solve it with my mother under the Step to their side step. I was the founder of a soccer championship in our school and in one semester, the final match was scheduled in the break day before the final week. The conflict between the final match and the preparation for final exams led to a very tense negotiation with my mother. In the past, the choice I made when faced this kind of situation is that I insist do it in my own way and always be punished by the consequence and my mother. Nevertheless in that time, I tried to understand my mother as she was sick at that time. Instead of loud voice, I calmed down and try to think at her view when she told me that it is impossible to play a final match before the final week. My mother had her point of view, there is only one day break before the final week and I have six courses needed to be well prepared. A high intense soccer match may bring me tiredness and possible injury, hence taking the one day break at home to review my courses is the best option. I agreed with my mother first, I know you are right. I can give up the final if you really want me to. My mother was stuck and shocked at that time as she never thinks I will give up so easily. I am so happy you think in the same way, I do not mean it is bad to play soccer, however the timing is not right this time. Although I agreed to quit the match, the sadness I really had to admit was the only feeling. I know I have to be well prepared, as my mid-term was not so good, I need to make up the final grades a lot. But, the final match I also prepared for a long time. It probably remained my mother that I had committed to the organization the soccer champion and put so many efforts through the whole semester. Perhaps, if you promise that you prepare the exam well and get the review work done before the break, I will let you be in the match. Out of my

expectation, my mother also understood me and admitted my attendance to the final match. The problem was perfectly solved by the step to their side step.

The third step in the breakthrough theory is named Reframe. It means to not reject what the opponent offered, agree with it and try to reframe the game. There are some tactics that can be helpful, as one of them is quite impressive that named go around the stone wall. In the collective bargaining, once our team is addressing with the wage increase rate with the other team. They offered 10% increase at the beginning and announced that this is non-negotiable. Faced with the tough attitude, we did not reject it and accepted it instead. However, we mentioned that the wage increase is related on the production level, which the 95% of production level is what both sides agreed on. We would like to pay for a 10% increase, if the 95% of production level is ensured. One of our team mates switched the focus from the stone wall10% increase to a related subject, the production level. If there is no way to ensure production level at the beginning, we cannot offer 10% increase at front. Instead of that, we prefer a fix 5% increase at the beginning and if the production level target is met at one time, 1% additional increase will be offered. In this case, at the end of fourth period, almost 9% increase in wages can be achieved and it is close to 10% as you required. This statement of our team mate had been proved by the opponent. Besides, it is a perfect example of how we managed to go round the wall and fixed the problem.

The fourth step is also important and from a Chinese sage Build them a golden bridge. In this stage, pushing the opponent is not preferred, however, building a bridge to fix the gap

between what you want and satisfy the opponent meanwhile is essential. Saving the face and making the outcome as a mutual victory are two key factors in this stage. From my perspective, negotiation is nothing about someones win and the other loses. On the contrary, a successful negotiation can be identified as a mutual win-win situation which is resulting from a mutual problem solving process.

The fifth step is named use power to educate. Although the whole theory suggests that we negotiate in a soft way, sometimes the opponent is just force you to lose temple. In that case, being tough is an alternative choice. As one great Chinese Chairman Mao said, Power grows from the barrel of the gun. Negotiation is a power play, besides always being weak cannot lead to an expected outcome. This final stage encourages being tough in specific situation and aiming a specific uncooperative opponent.

In conclusion, the overall theory of the five steps is really fascinating and pragmatic. Based on my previous experience, it will improve my negotiation skill greatly if I follow the instruction. Moreover, this theory is still need time to prove and more practice when I apply it to my real life situation.

Reference: William Ury, (January 1, 1993), Getting Past No, revised edition, Bantam