A TV play for AHAmedia By Rolf Auer, 17 Feb.

2013 (you dont have to credit me, I couldnt care less; you can rewrite this, I give you permission.) Cast of characters (and quite the characters they are!): April Smith Carla Sarkozy Hendrick Beune Stephen Harper Donald (which Donald? I dont care, just get one off the street. Get Donald Trump for that matter. You probably could use the funding, while he could use a break.) Barack Obama Scene 1: Barack: As you know, Im in the process of ripping out the civil liberties in the United States, at least according to Hedges anyway, or his lawyers, rather. Stephen: ya, und? Carla: Liberty. Remember? We gave liberty to you conditionally: dont abuse it! What do you think that statue is about anyway? Stephen: what statue? Barack: well, everything is going according to plan so far. We should have total totalitarianism installed tomorrow. Stephen: I dont understand. I thought totalitarianism is total anyway. Carla: oui, total writeoff! Barack: I got 52,000 drones (says offstage: thats what, Rolf? bored-sounding voice: roughly 1,000 per State) ready to go at any moment. In fact, there goes one now. No, wait, thats just the surveillance cameras in the Downtown Eastside. Carla: who said Give me Liberty, or Give me Death? Barack (muses aloud): could have been me. Could have. (speaks) Patrick Henry. Stephen (drily): yes we can. Carla: gentrification, cest quoi, exactement? Stephen (by this time, bored to tears, reading The Economist): eat the poor.

Barack: Oh, are we doing that now too? Stephen: well, were doing death, arent we? I thought that meant eating the poor. Barack: Oh, are we doing that now too? Carla: gentrification, cest mange de la merde, nest-ce pas? Barack, Stephen: How soon can we do that? Whats eat the poor? No gentrification! Same thing, isnt it? Ahhhhhhh, GET OFF! (Donald, Hendrick stamp foot.) Carla: what happens when towers are built in a low-income, residential district? Overshadowing and overpowering and overblocking the light, culture, and people of any given area, such as the Downtown Eastside, to name one example. Stephen (grunts): und, so? Barack: what was that that is written on our statue again? The Statue of Liberty? Give us your poor, your tired, your hungry... Something like that? Why? Are we supposed to eat them? Stephen (grunts): und, so? Carla: I write songs, play guitar &tc, and sing. Im just wondering, how difficult is it for artists to create while enveloped in the cold, clammy embrace of looming, dark shadows of monolithic corporate-sponsored towers? Is it really that difficult? Barack: create what? Carla: art, silly. Barack: what for? TV programs? Carla (muses aloud): how do I state the importance of art to him quickly. (speaks) Barack, do you like the painting, The Irises, by Vincent Van Gogh? Barack: the what, now? Carla: as in, say, something to look at and mull over a glass of Chianti in your later years? Barack: what would I want to do that for? Stephen: I fail to see the purpose of this, either the conversation or the reason. Carla: ahh, reason over passion! Stephen: the what again?

Barack: say that again? Carla: No. (pause) Carla: now, how might gentrification and art (which you just in a few words admitted is necessary) be opposed? Stephen: gentrification is counterproductive? Carla (stomps her foot): Bingo! Stephen (immediately leaps into the fray): counterproductive? were building stuff! Carla: on whose dime though? Stephen (wonderingly): the poor? Carla: well, who else pays the price, silly? the rich? certainly NOT! Stephen: pretend Im kind of dense... Barack: pretend? Stephen (ignores him): what if we dont want the poor? Carla: you want to eat them, dont you? Stephen: duh, well I guess so. Were running out of meat. Scene 2: Carla (reading aloud): Down with the Tyranny of Ignorance could be said to be a guiding light of this, the beginning-21st-century Age of Information. To that end, digitized social networks are springing up, new green life pushing up through the fertile topsoil of mans imagination. Its a good thing Mark Zukerberg invented FaceBookthe obvious choice for the most flexible digitized social networking mediumdespite C.I.A. spying. So, sources of such foods for thought like Black Power, Idle No More, Womens Justice, No One Is Illegal, investigations into mass murderers Picktons activities, the US National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA) lawsuit, et cetera, are readily available. Digitized social justice activism is breaking records, with exemplary activists like Julian Assange, Bradley Manning, and Aaron Schwartz Do you know who wrote that? Barack: Hitler?

 Stephen (brightens): ya, Hitler? Carla: no, a writer. Who is unimportant. What counts is the idea. What is the idea? Barack, Stephen: defeat of ignorance. Carla: how? Barack, Stephen: information. Carla (stomps foot): Bingo! Carla: question: are writers artists? Barack: is this important? If I need a writer, Ill shoot one, I mean, hire one. Carla: for what, though? Stephen: speeches? Carla: well, I suppose. But, do you read? Barack: read? Stephen: I was wondering how the articles got in The Economist. Carla: I mean, do you read for pleasure? Barack, Stephen: whats that? Reading for pleasure? Carla: does the following float your boat? Its at the end of the article. Down with the Tyranny of Evil for ever: sic semper tyrannisthus always to tyrants. (silence) Scene 3: April off set, watching. Stephen: I dont get something, Barack. Does art imitate life, or does life imitate art? Barack: youre asking me? Why, is that important? Stephen: Well, what if art is life, and life is art. By gentrifying, arent we crushing art and therefore crushing life? 4

 Barack: so what? Stephen: well, dont we need life to live? In my country, green life is everywhere. I dont see much life in yours. Barack: what did you say? Stephen: never mind. April returns back on camera. Carla (brightly): Hi boys! Miss me? Barack, Stephen: yeah, I suppose. Carla: Now, what is the meaning of life? Stephen: growth. Carla: on a finite planet? How? Stephen: carefully. Carla: which means? Stephen: conservation measures, balanced ecosystem practices, ending violence forever. Carla: does gentrification do that, yes or no? Scene 5: Stephen: I guess were shit out of luck, Barack. Barack: why? Stephen: were not going to be able to pull this off. The women are going to pull Lysistrata on us or something. Ive got blue balls thinking about it. Wouldnt you agree? Please? Barack: I hadnt thought of it, actually. Is that why you go to Cherrys all the time? Stephen: No, I... (pause) free booze, what else. Barack: You drink? Carla: like a fish. Anyway, its not only gentrification thats causing these problems, is it? 5

because weve got other problems to solve too. Barack: are you forgetting, we want the world? Carla: well, what are we going to do with a dead planet? Live? Barack: o-o-o-k-k-a-a-y-y. Carla: and what else? (mutters) oh, brother. Barack: huh? Stephen: kill? Carla: No! Im leaving. Maybe youll get a clue. Barack, Stephen: No, wait! Carla (turns back slowly): Yes? Barack: what if we rip the legal definition of corporations as persons before the law out from under them. Will that save us? Carla: of course it will, silly! Barack: what do you, think Stephen? Stephen: [in Scottish brogue, voice of Star Treks Scotty] Captain, I dont think the engines can stand the strain. Barack: YOU watch Star Trek? Stephen, I never knew you had it in you! Stephen: shaddup. (rustles Economist magazine ominously) Carla: take it or leave it. (pre-taped, somebodys voice) [sound of radio tuning [as if such a thing is possible] then] fade in [voice sounding suspiciously like Mansbridge] ...and the NDAA lawsuit was adjudicated in favour of the plaintiffs. Pulitzer prize winning journalist Chris Hedges said he is writing another book titled, Never Give Up! MIT professor Noam Chomsky, aka father of modern linguistics, returned to his work, smiling. Michael Moore announced his plans to make a documentary about Americans thoughts about democracy post-NDAA. Tangerine... [fade out] [sound of birds wings] 6

Scene 6: Barack: Now what? Stephen: What about it, Carla? Carla: Youve heard this before, havent you? Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. Thats a very famous aphorism by Margaret Mead. Stephen: mmm. Carla: well, who is that group today relative to the world? Indigenous peoples worldwide. So, if you cant rip the definition of corporation right out immediately, why not try to contain the blaze by helping the Indigenous peoples as much as possible. Im talking about Idle No More and the Occupy Movements. Give the natives as much as humanly possible now, or die! Barack: makes sense. Stephen? Stephen: yeah, we can do that, I guess. If the world lives, it should be worth it, right Carla? Carla: Bien sr! A brief explanation: this is a very abbreviated form. As I understand it, these have to last about 1:00 hour or so. Please, take it and run with it! Suggested additions (no doubt there are more than these): promo for building social housing mention displacement of humans (give details (if not actual, then metaphorically)) this line was suggested by one of my nephews If I said I have a beautiful dream, would you hold it against me? [Im sure this is his primary pick-up line; however, Ive not got the nerve to ask either of them: Theyre both second or third dan black belts in Tae Kwon Do, and I never pick fights with people like that: its a loss-loss situation, for me, of course] try this line, re drugs or habits, or both [Kids, dont try this at home, or anywhere for that matter. Because no matter how one shuffles the deck of cards, it cannot be cut properly afterwards]