IY1 - BAM Assessment Essay Feedback, Autumn 2012

Student No Family Name Personal Name Other Name

Comments
Answering the Question

The material you used is not relevant.

The material used is relevant to this general topic, but you do not link the material to the specific question/title.

Use of Macro/Micro Tools

You have clearly related the material to the specific issues that are the focus of the essay.

The work does not discuss the macro tools or there is very l limited use of one macro tool. The work discusses the macro environment and tools used with focus on at least one. Micro environment is mentioned also. The competitiveness of the industry is incorporated into the work but in a limited way. Basic strategies are developed out of this

The work clearly discusses the macro environment in relation to the organisation. The competitiveness of the industry is incorporated into the work and linked to the organisation and other tools. Strategies are developed out of this. Structuring

Random ideas and points made, but little structure and ordering. Introduction could do more to establish how the essay will deal with the issues. The conclusion could do more to give the essay an ending which brings together the various points. Ideas are present but need ordering. Introduction attempts to establish how the essay will deal with the issues. The conclusion attempts to bring together the various points. Ideas well ordered. Introduction clearly establishes who the essay will deal with the issues. The conclusion brings together

the various points. Using Evidence

Research findings, data, or other sourced material as evidence is not sufficient.

Some potential evidence, but the link to the topic could be clearer/developed more. You use evidence clearly and convincingly to support the topic. Critical Evaluation

The work is too descriptive points need to be reasoned/justified.

Your evaluative points need to be more reasoned/justified more fully. Evaluation is reasoned and justified.

Use of Language

The work has too many spelling, grammar or punctuation errors. Some parts makes the meaning or unclear or difficult to follow. The meaning is clear, but your language is too informal/conversational.

Your writing style is fluent, clear and the tone is appropriate. Layout

Instructions have not been followed. Poor presentation. Little or no referencing. Instructions have been followed generally. Presentation adequate. Referencing attempted. Instructions followed clearly. Well presented. Well referenced.

Other Comments

Grade out of 50

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