Spring 2007

Friendship Enhancement Group

Group Counseling: Teaching Social Skills to Enhance Friendships in Middle School Students Emily Worsnopp The purpose of this group is to help middle school sixth and seventh grade students with poor friendship skills learn specific social skills to improve peer relationships. Group topics include identifying positive friendship qualities, learning skills to enhance conversation abilities, recognizing the importance of body language in communication, and learning how to effectively solve friendship problems. Students are referred by teachers via a form provided by the School Counselor or through discussion at a students CSE meeting, and the group is appropriate for those who have few friends, are shy or withdrawn or who display inappropriate social skills that hinder friendship development. The group is formatted to be held in five 30-minute sessions, and each group is designed for approximately six students. Offering a small group to enhance the friendship skills of middle school students is important for a variety of reasons. At this stage, friendships may be especially significant to a healthy social development because adolescents frequently look to their friends to fulfill their emotional needs as well as to practice their socialization skills (Lefrancois, 1999, p. 348). Students lacking this social network thus may not have the necessary opportunities to learn how to best interact with their peers. Furthermore, adolescents who are unable to develop quality friendships experience heightened anxiety about school (Sunwolf & Leets, 2004, p. 196). There also is evidence that inclusion in a healthy peer group predicts academic success for sixth and eighth grade students (Wentzel & Caldwell, 1997, p. 1206). School counselors are in a position

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to help improve the academic and social success of students who have difficulties making and maintaining positive peer relationships by designing a group to teach them specific social skills that they can use to improve peer interactions and enhance friendships.

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Friendship Enhancement Group Teaching Social Skills to Enhance Friendship Session 2: What Does it Mean to Be a Friend?

Author: Emily Worsnopp Grade Level: 6/7 Group Size: 5 students Time: 30 minutes Setting: Small office (counseling office or conference room) with chairs set up in a circle Goal: ASCA Personal/Social Standard A: Students will acquire the knowledge, attitudes, and interpersonal skills to help them understand and respect self and others. Objective: Students will be able to identify friendship qualities and discuss basic friendship concepts. Materials: 1 skein of yarn. Procedure: Ice Breaker Activity: The Spider Web Begin by explaining that the group will be doing an activity to get them thinking about what friendship means to them. Give the ball of yarn to one student and ask him or her to name one quality that they consider as important in a friendship. Have the student pass the ball of yarn to another student to continue the web until everyone has identified one quality that is important to her or him. Before cleaning up web connect the image of a web to friendship (interconnected, reliant upon many parts, etc.) Discussion: Have students continue to talk about friendship qualities. Some questions to ask include: Is your view of friendship the same as everyone else in the group? What is different? Why is a certain quality more important to you than others? Are there different ways to act with different friends? (ex: acquaintances, close friends) What are some easy/difficult things about maintaining friendships? Do they have friends that have some of these qualities? What do they think makes them a good friend? Homework: Introduce the idea of homework and explain its purpose in helping to transfer the things discussed in the group to their everyday life. Have students pay attention to interactions

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Friendship Enhancement Group

that they have with their peers until the next session. What friendship qualities do they already exhibit? Are they happy with their friendships? What is missing (from what they do and from what others do) Have students write self observations down and keep observations in friendship folder to discuss at next meeting. Evaluation: Students evaluated based upon their ability to identify and discuss friendship skills. Ice Breaker Activity adapted from: Hulse, C. M. (2004). Lesson 38: The spider web. New York State school counselor association comprehensive school counseling program: Middle level activity book (pp. 8889). New York: New York State School Counselor Association.

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Friendship Enhancement Group Teaching Social Skills to Enhance Friendship Session 3: Conversation and Listening Skills

Author: Emily Worsnopp Grade Level: 6/7 Group Size: 5 students Time: 30 minutes Setting: Small office (counseling office or conference room) with chairs set up in a circle Goals: ASCA Personal/Social Standard A: Students will acquire the knowledge, attitudes, and interpersonal skills to help them understand and respect self and others. NYS CDOS Standard 3a: Universal Foundation Skills NYS ELA Standard 4: Language for Social Interaction NYS Arts Standard 1: Creating, Performing and Participating in the Arts Objective: Students will be able to effectively initiate and maintain a conversation and understand how conversation skills are important to friendship development and maintenance. Materials: Conversation and Listening Skills worksheet Procedure: Follow-Up on Homework Discussion: Begin by having students discuss reactions to homework from previous week. What did they discover? How did interactions with peers make them feel? How do they feel about their current friendships? Have students name one of the qualities identified in Session 2 that they exhibited. Transition to new Lesson: Expanding your social network and communicating effectively with others: Begin by discussing why being able to effectively start conversations and communicate with others is essential to developing successful relationships. It is important to know how to start, continue and end conversations for success. Ask student to discuss what is scary/easy about starting new conversations, and what is challenging for them about having conversations, especially with new people. Pass out Conversation skills and Listening Skills worksheet and discuss. Have group members role play conversation skills (ask for volunteers). Encourage all students to participate. Ask members to come up with situations that might be challenging for them. Examples might include meeting a new person, asking for help, pairing up with someone for a class project.

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Friendship Enhancement Group

Have student reflect on role-play. How did it feel to be the one initiating the conversation? Responding? Homework: Ask students to initiate at least one conversation with a new peer over the next week. Have them write down the results of the conversation, including how they felt, about the interaction. Evaluation: Students are evaluated based upon their contributions to the group and their ability to demonstrate effective communication skills. Session adapted from: Waksman, S. & Waskman, D. D. (1998). Conversation Skills. The waksman social skills curriculum for adolescents: An assertiveness behavior program (4th ed.) (pp. 31-35). Austin, TX:Pro-Ed.

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Name: ______________________________

Conversation and Listening Skills

Approach with confidence. Make eye contact. Ask questions about things that interest the other person. Focus on the person talking. Get your point across without interrupting. Listen and respond actively. Close conversation appropriately. (Its been nice talking, See you later)

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Worksheet adapted from: Richardson, R. C. & Evans, E. T. (1996). Rules for listening. Connecting with others: Lessons for teaching social and emotional competence, grades 6-8 (p. 82). Champaign, IL: Research Press, p. 82.

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Friendship Enhancement Group Teaching Social Skills to Enhance Friendship Session 4: Understanding Body Language

Author: Emily Worsnopp Grade Level: 6/7 Group Size: 5 students Time: 30 minutes Setting: Small office (counseling office or conference room) with chairs set up in a circle Goals: ASCA Personal/Social Standard A: Students will acquire the knowledge, attitudes, and interpersonal skills to help them understand and respect self and others. NYS CDOS Standard 3a: Universal Foundation Skills NYS ELA Standard 4: Language for Social Interaction NYS Arts Standard 1: Creating, Performing and Participating in the Arts Objective: Students will be able to effectively demonstrate and describe positive and negative body language and relate these skills to friendship enhancement. Materials: Body Language in Communication handout Procedure: Homework Review: Use the go around method and ask students to share conversation experiences. Were they able to initate conversations? What was difficult about it? What was easy? Did they learn anything? Transition to new topic: Explain the importance of body language for communicating. Pass out Body Language in Communication worksheet and discuss body language dos and donts and review worksheet. Practice body language styles on sheet, and encourage students to have fun with it, especially the donts category. Have students get into pairs. One pair at a time, have student briefly talk about any topic. One person should talk and the other should demonstrate body language donts. Have partners switch roles but now have the listener demontrate body language dos. After each group has gone have students go around the room and discuss behaviors that they noticed and how it made them feel (as the listener and talker). Did members notice any ways that they (or others) use body language effectively in the

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group? Go around and ask people how they think their body language impacts how peers view them. How can body language impact friendship? Evaluation: Students are evaluated based upon their ability to effectively describe and demonstrate appropriate and negative body language and discuss the importance of body language to friendship enhancement. Adapted from: Brigman, G. & Goodman, B. E. (2001). Communicating with body language. Group Counseling for School Counselors: A Practical Guide (pp. 167-168). Portland, ME: J. Weston Walch.

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Friendship Enhancement Group

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Body Language in Communication

The communication process is nonverbal as well as verbal. Behavior expresses meaning, sometimes more clearly than words. To be effective in our relationships with others, we need to be able to tune into body language and tone of voice. Did you know: 70% of our communication comes through our body language. 23% of our communication is through our tone of voice. 7% of what we communicate is through our words.

We need to pay attention to how we say things as well as what we say.

Dos Eyes Voice (volume) Voice (tone) Facial expressions Posture Movement Distance good eye contact loud enough to be heard clearly tone communicates understanding matches your own or others feeling; smile leaning forward slightly, relaxed toward arms length

Donts Stare, glare, jittery, no eye contact too soft or loud disinterested, gruff tone, sarcastic frown, yawn, sigh, scowl, blank look leaning away, rigid, slouching, crossing arms away too close (less than 2 feet); too far (more than five feet)

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Adapted from: Brigman, G. & Goodman, B. E. (2001). Communicating with body language. Group Counseling for School Counselors: A Practical Guide (pp. 167-168). Portland, ME: J. Weston Walch.

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Friendship Enhancement Group Teaching Social Skills to Enhance Friendship Session 5: Problem Solving and Termination

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Author: Emily Worsnopp Grade Level: 6-8 Group Size: 5-7 students Time: 30 minutes Setting: Small office (counseling office or conference room) with chairs set up in a circle Goals: ASCA Personal/Social Standard A: Students will acquire the knowledge, attitudes, and interpersonal skills to help them understand and respect self and others. ASCA Personal/Social Standard B: Students will make decisions, set goals and take necessary actions to achieve goals. NYS CDOS Standard 3a: Universal Foundation Skills NYS ELA Standard 4: Language for Social Interaction NYS Arts Standard 1: Creating, Performing and Participating in the Arts Objective: Students will be able to identify problem solving steps and apply them effectively to solve interpersonal conflicts. Materials: Problem Solving Steps worksheet for each student. Easel or white/blackboard and markers/chalk for brainstorming activity. Procedure: Explain to students that sometimes, even with good friends, we can encounter conflicts with our friends that might be difficult to solve. Pass out Problem Solving Steps worksheet and explain that there are specific steps that people can take to solve a problem with friends. Using these problems can help to alleviate stress and avoid more difficult situations with friends in the future. Ask students to volunteer a situation (real or imaginary) that demonstrates a problem that friends can experience. After a situation has been established, work with students to help them see how they can use the problem solving steps to solve problems with their friends. To help with choosing the best solution, have students discuss them and role play some possible solutions. After role plays, have the participants and group members discuss if the scenario worked, or how a better solution can be reached. Termination: Use the go around method to have each participant talk about what they feel that they

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are best taking away from the group. Have they made progress with making and keeping friendships? What has been useful to them? How confident are they feeling about being able to use the skills in the group to help improve their friendships in the future? Evaluation: Students are evaluated based upon their ability to apply problem solving techniques to role play exercises. Adapted from: Forth, S. (2004). Lesson 32: What is a healthy choice? New York State school counselor association comprehensive school counseling program: Middle level activity book (pp. 73-75). New York: New York State School Counselor Association.

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Problem Solving Steps

1: Identify the problem.

2: Think of ALL possible solutions. Write them down if you can, or talk them out with someone.

3: Think about the consequences of each possible solution. Ask yourself What could happen if I did this? Think about how each solution impacts you and others.

4: Choose the best solution.

5: Put the solution into action! If appropriate, practice the solution with someone else before hand.

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Adapted from: Forth, S. (2004). Lesson 32: What is a healthy choice? New York State school counselor association comprehensive school counseling program: Middle level activity book (pp. 73-75). New York: New York State School Counselor Association.

Spring 2007 References

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Brigman, G. & Goodman, B. E. (2001). Communicating with body language. Group Counseling for School Counselors: A Practical Guide (pp. 167-168). Portland, ME: J. Weston Walch. Forth, S. (2004). Lesson 32: What is a healthy choice? New York State school counselor association comprehensive school counseling program: Middle level activity book (pp. 73-75). New York: New York State School Counselor Association. Hulse, C. M. (2004). Lesson 38: The spider web. New York State school counselor association comprehensive school counseling program: Middle level activity book (pp. 88-89). New York: New York State School Counselor Association. Lefrancois, G. R. (1999). The Lifespan (6th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth Publishing Company. Richardson, R. C. & Evans, E. T. (1996). Rules for listening. Connecting with others: Lessons for teaching social and emotional competence, grades 6-8 (p. 82). Champaign, IL: Research Press, p. 82. Sunwolf & Leets, L. (2004). Being left out: Rejecting outsiders and communicating group boundaries in childhood and adolescent peer groups. Journal of Applied Communication Research, 32(3), 195-223. Waksman, S. & Waskman, D. D. (1998). Conversation Skills. The waksman social skills

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curriculum for adolescents: An assertiveness behavior program (4th ed.) (pp. 31-35). Austin, TX:Pro-Ed. Wentzel, K. R. & Caldwell, K. (1997). Friendships, peer acceptance, and group membership: Relations to academic achievement in middle school. Child Development, 68(6), 11981209.