Curb Your Enthusiasm Larry Goes to Chipotle By Eric Mann

INT. MEXICAN RESTAURANT- DAY Larry sits in an empty Mexican restaurant chowing down on a massive burrito. He signals to a young Mexican guy getting his attention. LARRY Jorge! Jorge! JORGE Si? LARRY Jorge if its not too much to ask can I get a little bit more guacamole? JORGE Si Larry, of course. For you? Of course. Larry puts his hands out to the side and smirks. LARRY Gracias Jorge. Really, gracias. Take your time Jorge. No rush here! JORGE No problemo Larry. Jorge goes to the kitchen in the back to get more guacamole. Larry is about to take another bite of his burrito when his phone rings. LARRY Hey Jeff, listen tomorrow drop your plans I gotta take you to this Mexican restaurant its unbelievable. Its the best Mexican in Los Angeles. Larry listens to Jeff for a few seconds on the phone. LARRY(CONTD) Right, 9 your house tonight. Should I bring anything? No? Ok. Ok. Bye. Jorge comes back out with a massive bowl of guacamole for Larry.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

2.

LARRY(CONTD) Holy guacamole! Thats a lot of guac there. JORGE Si Larry, for you of course. LARRY You know, you got something good here you know that? JORGE Si Larry. LARRY Really you do. Im gonna bring you more business to come. JORGE Gracias Larry. You are generous. LARRY Ehh, cmon Jorge, for you of course! JORGE Much appreciated Larry. LARRY Stop it. Come on now. Larry gets back to his burrito and keeps eating. Time passes and Larry is cleaning his teeth with a toothpick. LARRY(CONTD) Ok Jorge, Im going, but Ill be back tomorrow. JORGE Si. Adios Larry. LARRY Adios. Larry leaves a nice size tip on the table and walks out of the restaurant.

3. STREET- DAY Larry walks down the street extremely content with the meal he just had. He sees an attractive woman walk by, so he shoots her a smile. She puts her head down and keeps walking faster. Larry looks back at her confused as she walks by; he cleans his teeth with a toothpick. Another woman, not as attractive, starts to walk past Larry. He smiles at her, but she responds with a face of disgust and keeps walking. Larry cant believe it. He throws his toothpick on the ground and keeps walking. From far away he sees another woman about to walk past him. He prepares to give her a nice smile. She gets closer and Larry smiles at her from a distance. She puts her head down and starts to walk past him. Larry starts to keep walking but decides to follow her. LARRY Excuse me, excuse me Ms. WOMAN Yes? LARRY What was that? WOMAN What was what? LARRY I shot you a smile as a nice gesture and you put your head down. Why? WOMAN That wasnt a nice smile. Larry becomes upset. LARRY Youre going to tell me that wasnt a nice smile? Im pretty sure that the smile I sent you was purely appropriate for a walk by stranger smile. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

4.

WOMAN No, it was creepy. You look creepy smiling at people down the street. LARRY Im the creep?! Youre the one that wont smile back! I thought a friendly smile would be nice! But no! Im the strange one for giving you a smile! Its a friendly gesture. You know it would be nice if you would smile back! Its human etiquette. WOMAN Whatever. The woman starts to walk away from Larry. LARRY Youre going to walk away from me!? Smile at people once in a while! Larry starts to follow her. LARRY(CONTD) I just dont understand. How can I be the creepy one when you wont even smile at anyone on the street? In society its frowned upon not to return a smile, you know that? She starts to walk faster, Larry follows her pursuit. LARRY(CONTD) Hey! Hey you hear me!? She starts to run, so does Larry. LARRY(CONTD) Dont be rude, Im not strange! Im not creepy! He slows down, out of breath, and leans on his knees to try to catch his breath. Another woman walks past Larry, looking at him with disgust. Larry tries to smile at her, but she gives him an evil stare while she holds on close to her purse and walks right past him. Larry puts his hands up and shakes his head defeated.

5.

EXT. JEFF AND SUSIES HOUSE- NIGHT Larry shows up to the door empty handed to Jeff and Susies house. He walks straight inside. INT. JEFF AND SUSIES HOME- NIGHT Larry closes the door behind him. LARRY Honey! Im home! Everyone greets Larrys entrance. SUSIE Hey Lar. Just in time, were about to start the appetizers. LARRY I missed all the schmoozing time? SUSIE Yep. LARRY Perfect. Jeff comes up to Larry. JEFF Dont get your hopes up Larry, youre not off the hook. LARRY Yes Jeff, I believe I am. I specifically made myself later than everyone else so I dont have to schmooze. JEFF I need you to schmooze Larry. LARRY I am a guest in your house you wouldnt make the guest clean dishes now would you? JEFF You son of a bitch.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: LARRY Would you? JEFF (Hesitantly) No. LARRY Then you cant ask me to schmooze. Jeff leans closer to Larrys ear. JEFF(CONTD) (Whispers) Listen, I need you Larry, I got a potential client here tonight. He is going to be a star! Unbelievable guy, I just need you to seal the deal for me though. LARRY No. JEFF What Larry? Susie walks over. SUSIE Whats wrong Jeff? JEFF Larry wont schmooze for me. SUSIE What the fuck Larry? LARRY What? If I dont want to schmooze I shouldnt have to. SUSIE After everything Jeff has done for you, you treat him like fucking shit, you know that? Youre supposed to be his friend Larry. Is this how you treat your fucking friend? LARRY Well is this how an agent treats his star client? Having him do all his dirty work? Using him?!

6.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

7.

SUSIE Youre fucking unbelievable Larry, you know that? Unbelievable. LARRY I am aware. Susie walks away in disgust. JEFF Alright Larry, I see how it is. I guess I need to cancel our lunch date tomorrow at the Mexican restaurant. LARRY Hey! Its not just a Mexican restaurant. Its El Meson and trust me, you would be upset with yourself. I told Jorge I would bring him business. MIKE Upset with what? Larry looks over his shoulder at a man he doesnt know. He looks at Jeff who is pleading with Larry to talk to this man with his eyes. Larry gives in and rolls his eyes, Jeff smiles. LARRY (Against his will) This Mexican restaurant called El Meson has the best burrito I have EVER had. MIKE Eh, I dont know about that. I think Chipotle has the best burrito anywhere. LARRY How could you possibly compare authenticity to a fast food place? Thats absurd. MIKE Something about Chipotle just does it for me. Susie clinks a glass on the table.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

8.

SUSIE Dinner is served, take your seats! Mike, Larry and Jeff start to move towards the table to take a seat. MIKE Chipotle is just the best you know? Everything about it is just so fresh and delicious. LARRY Eh. MIKE Come on, youre going to tell me that you dont like something at Chipotle? LARRY Ive actually never been. MIKE What!? Everyone looks at Mike. SUSIE Whats up Mike? MIKE Larry has never been to Chipotle! Jeff shakes his head in disgust at Larry, while the rest of the table starts to murmur in outrage. SUSIE Youve got to be kidding me Larry? LARRY I dont want Chipotle. If I want Mexican food, I go to the Mexicans. They know how to do it best, not Americans pretending to be Mexican. Its not the same, its just not authentic. JEFF I dont even know how we are still friends. Chipotle is unbelievable!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

9.

SUSIE Yeah Jeff, we can all tell you love your Chipotle! JEFF This isnt about me Susie, its about the Chipotle hater. MIKE You gotta go Larry. LARRY I cant, Im loyal to my place. It would be a catastrophe for me to switch over now. Everyone tells Larry he has to go by yelling at him. LARRY(CONTD) Im happy youre all in love with your American trash food, but I think Im gonna stick to my place. MIKE Larry, cmon now. You have to try their queso sauce in a burrito with guacamole, your taste buds will thank me for this. Everyone laughs. Mike goes into his wallet and pulls out a free burrito card. MIKE(CONTD) Here, its on me. You wont be wasting any money you can throw the burrito out if you truly dont want it. Larry shakes his head debating this situation. LARRY Alright fine. He takes the free Chipotle card from Mike and puts it into his wallet. Everyone starts to eat the food at the table. Larry looks down in Susies vicinity and smiles at her. She looks at Larry disgusted.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

10.

SUSIE What the fuck are you smiling at Larry? LARRY What? I cant just smile at you? Youre the hostess I cant smile at you? Is that so crazy? SUSIE It is Larry. You look fucking ridiculous. JEFF (To Larry) Yeah, you never smile at Susie. You guys are frenemies. LARRY Frenemies? Is that what we are now? Look at me, thinking we were just friends but no, frenemies. Can you find that word in the dictionary? Would it have a picture of me and Susie in there? JEFF It probably would. There would be a sentence underneath the picture saying, "Larry and Susie never are on the same page even when it comes to smiling." LARRY Is that so? JEFF Yes, your picture would probably also be shown under the words ignorant and smart-ass. LARRY Yeah youre probably right. Everyone laughs at the table and keeps eating. Larry takes a bite of his food and looks up at everyone stuffing their faces with food. The only other person not eating is a woman next to Mike. She smiles at Larry.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

11.

Larry cant believe she is smiling at him. He points at himself and, non-verbally, motions to her, to make sure she is smiling at him. She nods at him and he smiles back contently. She blushes a little bit. Larry is a little confused but happy about the situation. He gets back to eating his food. INT. LARRYS HOME- DAY Larry is reading a newspaper, when Leon comes into the room. LARRY Hey! Whats going on Leon? LEON Not too much Larry, whats going on with you? LARRY Same routine. LEON Good Larry, important to keep the same routine. Makes life consistent. LARRY You have a routine? LEON Hell mother fucking no Larry! Im spontaneous. LARRY You? Youre spontaneous? LEON Motha fucking right I am Larry. You better watch yourself. LARRY And Im not spontaneous? LEON Look at you Larry! Every mother fucking morning reading that paper.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

12.

LARRY Every mother fucking morning you come in here, is that not a routine? LEON Not every morning Larry, not every morning. LARRY Alright well.. Larry gets back to reading his newspaper. LARRY(CONTD) Oh so listen to this. Last night I was at Jeffs for a dinner party. LEON I dont wanna listen Larry. LARRY What? Why? LEON Honestly, I dont get why I never get the invite over to those motha fucking dinner parties. What, they think Im gonna steal some shit or something? Larry, tell me is it cause Im black? LARRY No Leon, youre just not friends with them. LEON Cause Im black Larry. LARRY I cant believe that youre pulling the race card right now in my own home. LEON Why is that? LARRY Cause were not so different you and I.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

13.

LEON Yeah, how so? LARRY You know, the Jews and the Blacks have a lot in common. LEON Psh Larry, we got shit in common. LARRY We were both slaves, right? We both are hated and blamed for the worlds problems. LEON Alright two things in common. LARRY Two pretty, pretty, pretty big things. Our cards kind of cancel out dont you think? You can finish the same sentence with either Jew or black watch. Is it because Im Jewish!? Now for you its the same idea but just word it a little differently. Psh is it cause Im black! See not so different. LEON You make a valid point Larry. LARRY Thank you. So listen to this, last night at the dinner party this woman was smiling at me across the table. I think it may be Jeffs new clients wife though. I mean I have never seen her there before so they must be a package. LEON She smiled at you? LARRY Yes Im sure. LEON You smiled back? LARRY Of course I did. You know the other day I tried smiling at women on the (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

14.

LARRY (contd) street and they looked at me like, I was crazy. LEON Let me see you smile Larry. Larry smiles at Leon and Leon is taken back by it wide-eyed. LEON(CONTD) Is that how you mother fucking smile Larry? LARRY Yeah so? LEON Whoa! You need some work son. LARRY What? Whats wrong with my smile? Ive been told I have nice teeth. The dentist tells me how Im his best client. I make it easy on him. LEON Good teeth dont mean you dont smile like a stalker Larry. LARRY A stalker!? LEON Hell mother fucking yes Larry. If I saw you smiling at me down the street, I would make sure I got my wallet and knife in hand cause that shit is scary. LARRY Well, I dont know what to do. Show me. LEON Alright come here. The two of them walk in front of the mirror and look at themselves for a moment. LEON(CONTD) Now the important thing you gotta do is you gotta act cool. Youre motha fucking Larry David and (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

15.

LEON(CONTD) (contd) bitches best be happy to get a smile from you. LARRY Yeah! Yeah I am mother fucking Larry David. LEON There we go Larry, get in the mind set. Squint your eyes and make a small kissing face and transition that into a smile. Like this. Leon makes the face and he looks smooth doing so. Larry is in agreement with Leon. LARRY Let me try. Larry starts making the face. LEON There we go Larry. Yeah, much better. Look at you fly as fuck, yeah! LARRY Yeah! Im Larry David. LEON Yeah Larry you got it now. You walk around, down the streets, anywhere, people be smiling back at you. You are officially Leon approved. Lar, you officially got swag. LARRY Yeah, I do? I do. Yeah I want to go test it out. How about you come with me to Chipotle and on the way home we smile at people and anyone who smiles back we invite to a dinner party here. LEON You like Chipotle? LARRY Im forced to go, I feel bad I was supposed to take Jeff to my Mexican restaurant but I have to go here.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

16.

LEON Sounds like you got appetite bullied. LARRY Appetite bullied? LEON Cmon Larry. Larry looks confused. LEON(CONTD) You dont want to eat somewhere but someone forces you to go, even against your will. Motha fucka be bullying you Larry. LARRY Yeah youre right! I did get bullied. But I have to go, he gave me a free burrito card. Leon laughs. LARRY(CONTD) Whats so funny? LEON You got a double whammy Larry. You got bullied and appetite guilted into going. This mother fucking dude got you good. LARRY (shocked) He appetite guilted me! Cheap man, this guy. And get this, he is an unsolicited writer. I wonder if he persuaded Jeff to take him on. LEON This guy sounds like trouble Larry. LARRY Yeah he does. Alright, well at least for Jeff I have to go.

17.

EXT. CHIPOTLE Larry and Leon pull up in Larrys Hybrid in front of Chipotle. Larry turns off the car and starts to get out, but Leon doesnt. LARRY Whats the matter? LEON No way am I going in there. LARRY Why? LEON I go to Qdoba. I aint a Chipotle guy Larry. Where do you see Chipotles Larry? LARRY Where? LEON White suburban areas in mother fucking shopping malls in between J Crew and the Gap. Qdoba. now that mother fucker is for us blacks, they no how to sell us, baby. LARRY Really? Theres a difference? LEON Hell yeah Larry. They stack the burrito with twice as much meat, Larry. Twice as much. LARRY Alright, well watch the car. Larry gets out of the car and walks into Chipotle. INT. CHIPOTLE- DAY There is a long line at the counter for Chipotle, people are yelling orders and everything is moving really fast. Larry looks around and is very confused. He walks up to the register and the people online tell him to go to the back. He listens.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

18.

Larry is waiting on a long line looking around at the people ordering. They seem to have a knack for how it works and everyone gets their burrito in an orderly fashion. Larry gets up to the counter and doesnt know where to begin. The worker impatiently stares at him in his own little world. CHIPOTLE WORKER Yes? LARRY Hi, how are you doing? CHIPOTLE WORKER Good, what do you want? LARRY I think Ill have a burrito. CHIPOTLE WORKER Brown or white? LARRY Excuse me? CHIPOTLE WORKER What type of rice? LARRY Oh I didnt know you were talking about rice. Which is better? CHIPOTLE WORKER Have you ever had rice before? LARRY Yes. CHIPOTLE WORKER All rice is the same. Its rice. LARRY Ill have the white then. She starts to put white rice on the burrito.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

19.

LARRY(CONTD) Eh. Actually I probably shouldnt you know? Brown is healthier. I got to watch my figure, you know? Larry taps his stomach twice. The worker does not seem enthused by Larry. CHIPOTLE WORKER What else? LARRY What do you think I should put on? CHIPOTLE WORKER (Upset) What do you like sir? LARRY I dont know. I like everything. A man behind Larry makes a hissing noise that gets Larrys attention. LARRY(CONTD) Im sorry sir, am I bothering you? MAN Yeah youre taking an hour to make a burrito. LARRY Well Im not sure what I want for a burrito yet, is that ok that I take my time? MAN Its the same every time, just tell her what you want and she does it. It is supposed to be fast. LARRY Im allowed to take as much time as I want. Now. Larry turns back to the Chipotle Worker. LARRY(CONTD) Which do you prefer, the medium or the hot sauce?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

20.

MAN You have got to be kidding me. Larry turns back to the man. LARRY Im sorry am I not allowed to ask a question? MAN Go ahead. My mother told me there is no such thing as a stupid questions, even though that one makes me doubt everything else shes ever told me. LARRY Oh so now you bring your mother into it,Im sorry, Ive never had Chipotle before! The man laughs. MAN Wait, youve never had Chipotle? Well that explains a lot about you. CHIPOTLE WORKER (Disgusted) Youve never had Chipotle? LARRY What is that supposed to mean? I dont like to go to chain Mexican places. You cant judge me, youre supposed to help me. CHIPOTLE WORKER (upset) What else do you want sir? LARRY Chicken and just guac, I think that will be alright. Larry turns to the man online. LARRY(CONTD) Happy? MAN Very.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

21.

Larry gives him a dirty look and walks down to the register. He pulls out the free burrito card. LARRY This better be the best burrito. Larry hands the burrito card to the cashier. CASHIER That would be a $1.50. LARRY What? No I gave you the free burrito card. CASHIER The guacamole is extra though. LARRY What? CASHIER Well the burrito is free but the guac is extra. LARRY Thats crazy. The card I gave you was for a free burrito. It doesnt matter what is the content of the burrito. Its a free burrito. You cant charge me based on the individual product. CASHIER Im sorry sir but even though you have the card I still have to charge you for the guacamole. LARRY So let me get this straight, I could have gotten everything on the line and had the biggest burrito man has ever created, which would be free? She nods. LARRY(CONTD) But once I add guacamole to the burrito it makes it more expensive?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: CASHIER Yes sir. LARRY Thats insane, I have a voucher for a free burrito. I could have gotten anything in the burrito because it is a free one but you decide to charge me, even though I have this card that says, "give him a free burrito". It literally screams "free burrito, this is good for one free burrito". It doesnt have anything on it that says what items I can chose to put in my burrito. Let me see it!

22.

Larry pulls the free burrito card out of her hand and starts to read it. She leaves the counter frantically and heads to the kitchen. Out comes the manager who is Mike. MIKE Hi sir, what may be the problem? LARRY Well.. Larry looks up and sees that it is Mike. MIKE Larry? LARRY Mike. MIKE So whats the problem Larry? LARRY Well, the main problem was that I was getting charged for the guacamole even though I had the free burrito card. But now I see whats happening here. MIKE What? LARRY You appetite bullied me to come here to try and gain my business.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

23.

MIKE Cmon Larry that is crazy. LARRY Is it? I didnt want to come here but you kept building it, Chipotle this and Chipotle that! "Oh you got to come to Chipotle" you said. You even bribed me and the bribe didnt even pay off. I cant believe it. MIKE Listen Larry, I just wanted you to try Chipotle. I work here because I have a passion for it as you can see. That is all. I just thought you would enjoy it, thats it. LARRY I dont think so Mike. I think you had a different reason for me to come. You lost my business. Im out of here. MIKE Larry, Im sorry. LARRY A little too late Mike. A little to late. Larry leaves the burrito and walks out the door. Mike puts his head down in shame. INT. LARRYS CAR Larry gets into his car and buckles himself into his seat. LEON Wheres your food Lar? LARRY You wouldnt believe it!. Cmon were going to El Meson. Ill explain on the way.

24.

EXT. EL MESON- DAY Leon and Larry are about to walk in the the door. LEON I told you that mother fucker was shady. LARRY You were right, he had a hidden agenda. They are about to walk inside when a girl walks by the door. Leon shoots her a smile, and she embarrassingly smiles back. Larry and Leon walk inside. INT. EL MESON- DAY LARRY Thats unbelievable. LEON I told you Larry. Every girl knows they be smiling at me. I got the swag and they want part of it. LARRY Really unbelievable. Its so simple to smile back at someone. To think that she got so fluttered by your smile. She was embarrassed to smile back that just amazes me. Jorge comes over to Larry. LARRY Hola Jorge. JORGE Hola. LEON Come estas? JORGE Muy Bien y tu? LEON Asi Asi.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

25.

Jorge goes to the kitchen and Larry looks at Leon in amazement. You LARRY know Spanish?

LEON Larry, Im black of course I know Spanish. LARRY You seize to amaze me. LEON Its the swag Larry, its the swag. They take a seat at a table. LARRY You know, I told Jeff to come meet us here. LEON Where is he? Larry makes a gesture. LARRY No idea. Jorge comes out with two burritos for the two of them. They start to eat. Time passes and the two are done eating and look satisfied, leaning back into their chairs. LARRY I told you, right? LEON Larry that was some good mother fucking Mexican food. LARRY I know my Mexican. JORGE Muy bien. Both Larry and Leon shake their heads.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: LEON Muy bien. Muy bien. Leon nudges Larry. LEON(CONTD) Lets have the dinner party here. LARRY Thats a great idea. Bring more business for Jorge. LEON I know Larry.

26.

The two of them look at each other and grin. At the same time they both call Jorge over. JORGE Si? LARRY My friend Leon and I are absolutely in love with your food and this great place. We would love it, of course if it was alright with you, to host a dinner party here. JORGE For you Larry, of course. No problemo. LARRY Fantastico! Anyone can order anything of the menu, is that ok? JORGE Si. Yes of course Larry. LARRY And the guacamole situation? Id like to keep an endless supply of guacamole at no extra charge is that alright Jorge? JORGE Of course! No other way Larry. Larry turns to Leon. LARRY You see this is the treatment youre supposed to get at Mexican restaurants. Thank you Jorge. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

27.

Larry puts money on the table for the meal and they get up to leave. LARRY(CONTD) See you in a few Jorge. JORGE Adios. LEON Adios amigos. EXT. EL MESON- DAY Larry turns to Leon. LARRY You happy? LEON Hell yeah. You happy? LARRY You know what I am? LEON Whats that Larry? LARRY Im ready to get on my swag smile. Did I pronounce that right? Swag smile? LEON Nah, no such thing as a swag smile. Just swag. You ready to get your swag on and in order to do so youre going to mother fucking smile at hoes on the street. LARRY Yes, yes I am. EXT. STREET- DAY Larry and Leon walk around. Leon is in mid-conversation with some lady as Larry awkwardly stands behind him. LEON So its just down this way and Im telling you, the guacamole is going to rock your world girl. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: GIRL And if it doesnt? LEON Then I guess Ill be doing the rocking.

28.

Larry is standing behind Leon eyes wide open repeating the line he just heard to himself, shaking his head in disbelief. GIRL Ill definitely be there then, and by the way, I hope youre over exaggerating how good it is, because Id rather end up with the second option. As the girl starts to walk away, Leon and Larry check out her butt. Leon shakes his head and takes a long deep breath. Larry smacks him on the shoulder. LARRY That was amazing. Ive never seen anything like it. LEON I have. LARRY That was unbelievable. LEON Its in all of us unleash the inner out; here comes a test it out, come Larry, just beast.Check it fine dime Larry, on.

Larry looks down the street and notices its the women that was sitting next to Mike. LARRY Oh my God, thats her. LEON Who? LARRY The woman that smiled at me at Jeffs dinner party.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

29.

LEON Alright Larry, look at me. Leon gets in his face as if coaching Larry. LEON(CONTD) This is your chance Larry. she is a little interested she smiled first. Be calm, youre the fucking man and to the dinner party. You know cause show her ask her

LARRY But what if she is Mikes wife. Leon slaps Larry. LEON She smiled first Larry, she smiled first. Larry falls into a gaze into Leons eyes, wide mouthed, agreeing with him. MYSTERY WOMAN Larry? Larry David? Still staring into Larrys eyes, Leon gives him a nod of approval. Larry pushes Leon out of the way. LARRY Hey baby girl how you doing? MYSTERY WOMAN Excuse me? Larry looks at Leon frantically. LARRY Im sorry I.. MYSTERY WOMAN No need to apologize. She smiles at him and starts to play with her hair. Larry looks back at Leon and Leon nods at him in approval. LARRY I was going to say, Im sorry I didnt catch your name the other night.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

30.

After everything Larry says he keeps looking towards Leon to get his nod of approval, he does. MYSTERY WOMEN Im Michelle, and of course I know you. LARRY Of course, who doesnt know Larry David? Larry looks back over in Leons direction and Leon keeps nodding. LARRY(CONTD) So what were you doing at Jeffs dinner the other night? I didnt see, did you come with anyone? MICHELLE Im their house decorator. They wanted me to come by to see what it looks like and take my opinion. LARRY Oh really? So you were alone? MICHELLE Yeah it was a little strange but I really couldnt keep my eyes off of you. You were the center of attention. LARRY If I had a nickel for every time I got that. Michelle laughs. Larry looks at Leon who non-verbally tells him to keep his eyes on the prize. LARRY(CONTD) Listen Im having a dinner party at this Mexican restaurant, El Meson a few blocks over, you want to come? MICHELLE Id love to.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

31.

LARRY Great! Pick you up at 8 and dont forget your appetite. She looks Larry up and down. MICHELLE Oh dont worry, I wont. She starts to walk away. Larry smiles and turns to Leon, but Leon keeps looking straight ahead. LEON Larry, look straight ahead and lose the mother fucking smile. LARRY What? LEON Do it! Larry listens to him. LEON Wait for it. Wait for it. Michelle looks back at Larry and smiles at him. LEON(CONTD) (whispers without moving lips) Smile back and nod. Larry obeys. Michelle keeps walking. LEON(CONTD) Alright we good now. We good. LARRY I cant believe that. That was amazing. LEON You almost blew it at the end but for first time swag, not bad Larry. Not bad. The two of them walk down the street.

32. INT. LARRYS CAR- NIGHT In the back seat of the car Leon and his girl are fooling around while Larry is driving. The girl is playfully laughing and Leon is talking about himself. They pull up to a house and Larry honks his horn. LARRY Knock it off back there! Ill kick you out. LEON You cant contain the swag Larry, its a curse. The two of them get back to making out. LARRY Come on, 5 minutes! LEON Psh, alright Larry alright. Leon sits up and starts to button his shirt back together. The girl sits back up and straightens out her hair. Michelle comes out of the house and into the car. MICHELLE Hi Larry. LARRY Hey Michelle, you ready? MICHELLE Yep. They start to drive away. LEON Yo Larry, is Jeff and everyone meeting us there? LARRY Yeah they said they were coming. LEON Man we shouldnt have invited them Larry. They dont invite me, I shouldnt invite them.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

33.

LARRY Well when you pay, you get to decide who to invite. LEON Psh. EXT. STREET NIGHT-NIGHT They find a parking spot on the street, get out of the car, and start walking. They get to where El Meson is supposed to be and Larry becomes confused when he sees a Chipotle has been put in its place. LARRY What whats this? GIRL (To Leon) You brought me to a Chipotle?! Ugh! She starts to walk away. LEON It wasnt a mother fucking Chipotle the other day! Leon starts to go after her. LEON(CONTD) Baby! Baby! MICHELLE I thought you were having a dinner party at a restaurant, dont get me wrong I love Chipotle, but.. LARRY I was! I did! I had everything planned El Meson! I dont know what.. Mike walks out of the Chipotle arms crossed, looking at Larry. MIKE May I help you?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

34.

LARRY You?! What did you do to Jorge and El Meson!? MIKE I did nothing, look. Mike opens up the door showing Jorge working behind the counter in a Chipotle outfit. LARRY Youre going to pay for this, you know? MIKE Eh. Mike smiles. MICHELLE You have a really great smile. MIKE I know. Mike smiles again at her and raises his eyebrows for her to come inside. She does. Leon runs back over to Larry, without the girl, watching Michelle leave. LARRY Youre really going to leave me like that? MICHELLE Sorry Larry, I really do love Chipotle. She walks inside when Larry and Leon try to follow suit, Mike stops them from coming in. LEON Oh, see, this is why I dont go to Chipotle, its because Im black isnt it!? LARRY No, no no youre mad about the guacamole incident and that I didnt pay! Its because Im a Jew isnt it!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

35.

MIKE Its because youre a loser, and I cant do business with an agent who works with losers. Sorry Larry. Mike closes the door. Larry and Leon look at each other. Jeff and Susie walk over. JEFF See I knew you would like Chipotle! SUSIE Great choice for dinner Lar, I told you its phenomenal. They both walk into Chipotle together. A homeless man is sitting on the ground next to the entrance who Larry and Leon both notice for the first time. He looks shocked at the whole scenario that just played out. Larry and Leon look at each other, then at homeless man, and both smile at him akwardly at the same time. THE END