Professional Documents
Culture Documents
YOUR LIFE?
A SEQUEL TO A HUMANIST PERSPECTIVE:
ABRAHAM MASLOW'S PURPOSE
FOR YOUR LIFE
Lyle L. Simpson
"Nothing is neither right nor wrong, but thinking makes it so."
Average Relative
Strength of Needs Peak Experience
1/16 Actualization
1/8 Ego
1/4 Social
1/2 Security
1 Basic
For those not familiar with this prior paper, in summary, Maslow
discovered that needs may be categorized by the strength of the drive level
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level of our growth. Few really feel the need to repeat the experience. Grade
School has served its purpose for us. We now enjoy seeing the benefit of the
experience only through our grandchildren. It may be great for them, but we
even have a sense of relief that the experience is no longer important for us.
Although we have acquired all we wish from that part of our life, we may
still enjoy the memories; but feeling fulfilled, have no need to live through
that experience again. That does not mean there is any thing wrong with us.
Quite the contrary. It simply means that, for that part of our life, we are
fulfilled.
If we have actualized our own life, we will have feelings of having
fully lived, having experienced our own life to its fullest. We will then no
longer need to fear death. We can then recognize that our own death is
inevitable; not sought, but no longer really an issue for our concern.
Protecting our family so that they may carry on our mission will be far more
relevant to us.
In my prior paper I used the example of my own personal orientation
to life, demonstrating how Maslow's theory can be personally applied. I made
a serious mistake when I did not include in my paper that there are also other
orientations to life -- the result for some members of my family was
devastating. Some were left with feelings that if they did not measure their
own life by my standards, they must be less of a person. That notion cannot
be further from the truth. My family's concern is a good example of how
problems arise when we each assess others' only from our own point of
reference. There are many paths for a fulfilled life. That is the issue I am
addressing in this paper.
I made the statement that, "To me, only two aspects of life are truly
relevant. First, our own life is meaningful to ourselves to the extent that we
share in happiness (Meaning fulfilling Maslow's hierarchy of needs to
achieve actualization of our own life; which will be recognized as we achieve
a 'peak experience'.) Second, our life is significant to the extent the world
becomes a better place because we have lived. The healthy person keeps
both in balance." Several in my family are now worried that their own lives
may not be significant unless they serve mankind to make a really "big
difference". Requiring all of us to make a significant contribution to our
world may be appreciated by the rest of us, however the notion that this
behavior is essential for everyone’s existence to be relevant, or that their own
life lacks value without service to others, is absurd -- But I gave that notion
to them. Service to others is only a necessary requirement for “idealists.”
Serving others may be important for those whose orientation to life differs
from mine, but, for most, may not be as essential for their existence to
become fulfilled as it is for me. Success for an individual of one type may
not be success for an individual of another type. Causing someone to
measure their life by your standards would cause conflict, or at the very least
be stressful.
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they resent the intrusion of other’s opinions into their lives. They might want
to serve others, but only by choice. They do not feel the need to do so. Does
that make the rationalist an unworthy person? I hardly think so.
There are competing theories overlapping Meyers-Briggs
psychological temperament types, providing other categorization by
measuring other characteristics. Likewise, there are some who have
expanded upon Maslow’s hierarchy of needs by developing sub-layers. In
addition to styles of thinking, there are also, of course, differences among
cultural approaches to life. Review of these competing approaches, although
perhaps valid in a more detailed study, is beyond the purpose of this paper.
Meyers-Briggs adequately demonstrates that it is all right for each of us to be
different. The point is that: Our own life may be fulfilled, and we can
maximize our life on earth, and become fully actualized, if we follow a path
consistent with our own personality type. Now what does this statement
mean?
I have identified my own type, as defined by Meyers-Briggs, as the
idealist. Since each type can contain secondary characteristics of one of the
other types, only a few of us are exclusively within their own type. My
personal sub-type is identified by Keirsey as an “idealist-idealist,” which he
labeled a "counselor". Counselors are only ten percent of the total number of
idealists, who, collectively, are less than ten percent of society. Therefore,
only one percent of the people in the world think like I do. We idealists share
the burden of requiring recognition from others to find our own self-worth -
and we are damned to the constant quest of seeking validation. We spend
our lives continuously giving ourselves away to others. If my wife does not
tell me that I am all right each day, I become unsure that I am. I must wear
out people requiring their continually reassuring me; but they know they can
trust me, and I that I will loyally serve them.
Idealists have many good qualities. They easily see the big picture,
and are able to instantly put complex issues in proper perspective. It seems
natural for them to provide advice, solving all of the problems of other
people. They simply cannot solve their own problems without help, at least
not easily. They only know what is right for others. But, don't bother them
with details. Because they leap to the solution, idealists frustrate when a
person must explain each situation in detail. Others do this because that is
how they must process information. Idealist-idealist tend to make good
counselors, thus the title. (That may explain why I practice law today.
However, I best not represent myself. In my empathy for others, I would
"give away the store".)
My wife thinks exactly opposite from me. Together, if we agree
upon anything, it is not only right, it is the safest approach for the fulfillment
of the needs of both of us. She is a rationalist. She must validate each step
for herself before she can proceed to the next step. She must first understand
the process to respect the result. My telling her the "answer," or what to do,
only frustrates her. For me, her effort is ponderous. For her it is essential,
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because truth is her most important consideration. For me, I can hardly stand
the frustration of barriers hindering my reaching my immediate goal. She
finds the journey equally important, and as rewarding as the objective.
Together she helps me stop to "smell the roses." She gets so absorbed in what
she is seeing that she forgets where she was going. My mind is already there,
but I cannot remember the route that I traveled.
We discovered our differences when we first went to buy a birthday
card for a mutual friend. I immediately found a card containing the message I
wanted to convey and an acceptable design suitable for this friend. I was
ready to buy it and get on with life. My wife was unwilling to buy any card
until she examined all of them to make sure the one I chose was the best.
You can imagine the discussion that ensued as we proceeded to frustrate each
other. If we had not found Meyers-Briggs, our relationship undoubtedly
could not have survived.
We now have agreed to compromise. If I find a card that I like, I am
free to proceed to the register. In the meantime, my wife continues to
examine all other cards. If she finds one she likes better before I have paid, I
have agreed to buy her card without question. If I have paid for my card first,
my wife has agreed to leave with me, at least satisfied that it may not be
perfect, but we did the best that we could for the moment. Of course, we no
longer put ourselves in that situation often. However, if it happens, at least
we now have a solution that avoids conflict.
The rationalist must know "how" something happens. The idealist
cares about "why". I bought my wife three books on "How Things Work" at
a discount store. They intricately detailed the inner workings of the toaster,
refrigerator, an automobile engine, and the elevator in our building -- all the
important stuff you always wanted to know but were afraid to ask --
including the inner-workings of our airplane. I thought this is the perfect gift
for her. She promptly told me they were obsolete -- this, she critically
pointed out, is why the books were being discounted. That fact had not even
occurred to me. Our toaster still works the same way.
When we take time to appreciate nature, I am interested in how what
we are seeing integrates into the natural world, and why all of this is part of
our universe in the first place. My wife sees the bunny in the road, stops to
smell the flowers beside our path, and gets totally immersed in our setting,
while I am aggressively seeking the end of the path. Since, for the rationalist
the journey has equal, if not greater, value than the destination, together, we
have enlarged our experiences by observing the world through each other's
eyes. We have discovered that neither of us is "wrong", just different. I like
the statement that "Nothing is neither right nor wrong, but thinking makes it
so." Life is much richer when it can be appreciated from another's
perspective. There are advantages and disadvantages from either perspective.
Together, life can be much more fulfilling for each of us.
As I mentioned, less than ten percent of our society are idealists, and
that my particular category as an idealist-idealist is limited to less than one
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The guardian attempts to put everyone back in the box. While the idealist is
worrying about why there is a box in the first place, and whether it is the
right box, the rationalist is trying to figure out how they got in there.
Artisans obviously make great artists. They are frequently good musicians,
actors and advertising agents. Artisans can also become very good
politicians. However, many are the criminals who cannot be controlled by
society. A large percentage of social deviants may be artisans. Artisans can
really frustrate the guardian. Guardians feel that no one should ignore the
rules! Rationalists can ignore artisans, unless they are imposed upon. The
idealist will appreciate the creativity of an artisan, but have little tolerance
for any deviation that does not move toward a positive goal.
What does all this have to do with the quality of our own life?
Everything! Each person is entitled to maximize his or her own existence.
The path to achieve a successful life is the point of my previous paper. With
the additional explanation of this paper, perhaps we can now understand how
the application of Maslow's psychology will vary depending upon the style
of our individual thinking. “Success” can only be measured personally. There
is no known universal purpose for life.
Knowing who we are, and what this means for ourselves, increases
our opportunity for living a successful life. Since our own psychological
composition is unique, understanding ourselves is essential to empower us,
and enhance our chance of success. Not knowing leaves us vulnerable.
Assuming others think (from the same perspective or baseline) as we do may
be disastrous for any relationship. Thus, from any perspective, first knowing
who we are becomes critical.
Our reactions when the person we are with stops to examine the
flowers, while we are eager to get to the place we are going, can be
interpreted by the companion as an irritant, showing a lack of concern for
what is then important to them, or it could be viewed by us as an opportunity
to expand our own horizon. We project to others our own point of reference.
One approach limits our own existence; the other enhances our life.
Understanding the differences between two people can only expand our own
horizon, and enrich our life far beyond what could be achieved on our own.
Together both become deeper and more fulfilled.
The rationalist causes the idealist, artisan or guardian to stop and
“smell the roses.” The idealist expands the horizon and goals for all other
types. The guardian can feel more genuine with the idealist, more inspired
by the artisan, perhaps more genuinely understood by the rationalist. The
point is that interaction with each type will provide a different result.
Combining types in a relationship enhances both, but only if each can accept
the other as they are without trying to change them.
Although knowing who we are is the necessary first step, attempting
to change who we are is psychologically dangerous, if not impossible. For
the right-handed person to be told they can only sign their name left-handed
causes as much stress as ignoring our own personality psychological type can
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cause us. It will not be natural for us to even try and act with any other style.
Someone else requiring a change in our basic nature would be resented. We
are who we are for life.
Any relationship with another person is enhanced if we accept our
style and recognize the differences in the style of our partner. Integrating
ourselves with the positive qualities of another person enriches our own life.
We become more of a whole person when another person fulfills our
weaknesses. By understanding psychological types we can reduce negative
effects so that weaknesses in our own psychological type does not become a
dominant weakness, which could cause barriers in relationships with others.
By fully utilizing our own strengths, and bridging our weaknesses with the
strengths of others, we can enhance both our own existence, and our
relationships with others.
Knowing Meyers-Briggs theory, and the differences among
psychological types, does not end problems of integrating with others, but it
can broaden our perspective and increase tolerance of differences. Integrating
with someone who has strengths in one’s own area of weakness minimizes
weaknesses that otherwise could cause barriers or dominate one’s life only if
you submit to the influence of the other person. Not knowing one’s own type
may result in misinterpretation of the behavior of others, which may result in
friction between the individuals. More important, knowing one’s self affords
the opportunity to manage the effect one has upon others, and they upon you.
This improved understanding should facilitate traveling successfully through
life together. In other words, it opens new doors in life for you.
Accepting, as proposed by Maslow, that the purpose for our own life
is to actualize our own existence, after we know ourselves, and reduce the
barriers for our own growth, especially those caused before our age of
reason, our pursuit is to proceed naturally through life. If we are successful,
our goal is to finally arrive at a point of peak experience where our life is
fully in tune, or resonating, with the world around us. Thanks to the insight
of Maslow, we will then know that we have maximized our own existence, at
least for that moment. Although the purpose that fulfills our own life will be
unique, knowing that there is a universal process for our own growth makes
the journey easier, even though the specific path we must find for ourselves.
Success is measured by the journey, not just the result.
Each peak experience will only be transitory. They are rare even for
those individuals fortunate to function predominantly at the highest levels.
No one can sustain life at the peak. However, having achieved a peak
experience you will then know that you have fulfilled your potential for that
moment. Once one has this experience their life will be changed forever,
because they will then know the feeling of having fully lived. Thereafter
actualized people continually strive to sustain a full range of living.
The only thing we, as humans, know for certain is that we currently
exist, and that we have this opportunity to live our life here on earth today.
What we do with our life is important, if only to us. There is good if we can
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whereby each of us can actualize our existence. We now realize that we must
provide the goal for our self.
We each need to strive for all of our needs being reasonably
satisfied, so that we are then free to resonate with our reality, and are able to
achieve a "peak experience," at that moment we will appreciate that
everything in our life feels in place, and all aspects of our life will then
appear to be right. Happiness will be the content feeling we have from
feeling fulfilled. At the moment of a “peak experience” we will have the
exhilarating, and maybe even scary, feeling of awareness that is a rare insight
into our personal universe. These moments of intense insight, according to
Maslow, demonstrate that we have arrived at complete fulfillment, or
actualization, where nothing else, or no other need or deficiency, is
compelling our behavior. Thanks to Maslow, we now know that this is the
state that we each should continually seek.
Even though achieving that point in our existence is, according to
Maslow, the purpose for our individual life, we know that arriving at this
point will be uniquely experienced by each of us since we are not destined
for a specific existence. Not only does the path vary for each of us as our
needs and values vary, our view of the world, and what we consider
important will be significantly different for each of us. Understanding
ourselves is difficult. It is even more complicated analyzing another
considering the differences between those with different psychological types.
Only those with the same psychological type can even begin to view their
world from the same perspective. Our differences are what make the world
challenging, and exciting.
We now know that there are at least four distinct psychological
types, which are overall approaches to life, which further subdivide into
sixteen subtypes, or styles, defining how we react within the larger frame of
reference as the software controlling our thought process. Our psychological
type frames our reality throughout our lifetime, giving us a point of reference
from which we develop our values, and then serves as a filter for the receipt
of all information upon which our life is dependent. We know that everyone
may be classified within one of the sixteen psychological styles.
As I previously stated, as an idealist, only two aspects of life are
relevant for me. My life is "meaningful" to the extent I achieve actualization
by reaching the top of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. My life is "significant"
to the extent that the world is a better place because I have been here. To be
healthy, I must keep both in balance. Considering only these two values
leading to a successful life to make my point, let’s explore how others could
respond very differently to the same circumstance, or stimuli. Keep in mind
that the response to other values will equally differ. Thus, there are multiple
approaches to a successful life.
When each of us adopts a primary path for our self, all other goals
become insignificant for us. It is our lifetime effort for us to continually
rediscover and focus our life on our own path. To actualize our existence, our
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path through life becomes our personal mission statement. What is truly
relevant in each life should be reduced to a simple statement if we intend for
it to become our goal. Consider what is truly “meaningful” and “significant”
for you. To illustrate the point, if you are not an idealist,
Bibliography
Abraham H. Maslow, The Further Reaches of Human Nature, (New York:
The Viking Press, 1971)(New York: Penquin Books, 1976; Arkana,
1993)
David Keirsey, Please Understand Me II, (Del Mar, CA: Prometheus
Nemesis Book Company, 1998)
Lyle L. Simpson, "Abraham Maslow's Purpose For Your Life", in Essays In
the Philosophy of Humanism, Humanist's of Houston, Volume 11,
pp. 21-43, 2002).
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