FROM FIRST FIVE MINUTES

LIVING IN YOUR LIMELIGHT SERIES

Career Workshops
Mission Germany Human Resources
November 18th, 2008
Presented by: Roberta Hill
AGENDA

  The medium is the message

  Goals of reading body language

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  Reading - posture exercise

  Responding - Western Business

Standard
  The Interview - the four keys

- first impressions
  Respect - personal space exercise

  German cultural considerations

COMMUNICATION STATISTICS

  we use only 25% of our listening capacity

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  we think at 500 words per minute
  we listen at about 300 words per minute
  we talk at 150 - 200 words per minute
  we forget 50% of what we have heard within 2
hours

Source Unknown
THE MEDIUM IS THE MESSAGE

Others “listen” to you and evaluate your

message based on the the following input:

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  Visual / Body Language 55%
  Voice / Tone / Inflection 38%
  Contents / Words 7%
From 1971 study by Albert Mehrabian of UCLA, “Silent Messages”
referring to the emotional content.
WORDS ARE 7%?

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I didn’t say John was stupid.
♪ ♩ ♭ ♮
♬ ♫ ♩
FOCUS

  Decode messages
READ
  Plan response

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  Ensure congruence
RESPOND
  Build trust and rapport

  Avoid manipulation
RESPECT   Equalize power

  Honor culture
 OPEN

responsive reflective

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FORWARD BACK

combative fugitive

CLOSED
From the work of John Mole: Four Basic Business Modes. Used with permission.
WHAT MIGHT THIS BEHAVIOR
COMMUNICATE?

  Leaning forward in chair:

  Leaning back in chair, arms folded:
  Resting chin in both hands:

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  Yawning:

  Smiling:

  Frowning:

  Smiling and nodding

  Glancing at watch:
  Looking around room:
  Tapping fingers on table:
TRY TO DEMONSTRATE THESE
ATTITUDES:

o  Openness to what a speaker is saying

o  Interest
Seriousness

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o 

o  Agreement
o  Friendliness
o  Concern
o  Confidence
o  Thoughtfulness
o  Intellectual excitement
THE 4 KEYS TO SUCCESS

Entrance
+
Enthusiasm
+
Engagement
+
Energy
===============
Success

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THE INTERVIEW COSTUME

  Personal hygiene - forget the fragrances

  Simple, conservative

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  Long is better than short

  Clean, sharp, ironed

  Solid neutral colors

  Coordination

  Limit accessories

  Match the culture of the organization

SMILE

  Relaxed   Smirk

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  Sincere   Pained

  Universal   Toothy

  Slightly open   Toobroad

  All
face   Twitching
muscles   Short
EYE CONTACT

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  Steady   Eye Dart
  Five+ Seconds   Off In Space

  Near The Eyes   Slow-Blink

  Relaxed   Down or About

THE HANDSHAKE

  Limp
  Dry Palm
  Bone
  Full
Crusher

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  Firm
  Loose
  StraightUp   Half Grip
  Maintain Eye
  Sideways
Contact
  Cupping
  Give Greeting
  Elbow
Touch
THE INTERVIEW - FIRST IMPRESSIONS

  Dress with appropriate style

  Attend to the 3 deadly sins - (messy hair,

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dirty fingernails, scruffy shoes)
  Make an entrance - Use good posture
  Keep the goal in mind
  Smile

  Make eye contact

  Give a solid handshake

  Watch where and when you sit down

THE REST OF THE MEETING

Primacy Effect - “first impressions are lasting

impressions”

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Halo Effect - our general impression
based on one characteristic
colors our perception of
other characteristics
Recency Bias - the most recent information
dominates our perception of
others
THE INTERVIEW - READING CUES

 Time  Posture
 Furniture  Facial

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Arrangements Expressions
 General  Gestures
Appearance  Hands and Feet
 Space and  Silence
Proximity  Voice
BODY TALK TO AVOID

  Playing with your hair

  Touching your face

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  Meaningless hand gestures

  Fidgeting - especially foot tapping

  Fiddling with paper or pen

  Drifting eye movement

  Crossing arms in front of yourself

POSITIVE RESPONSES

  Maintaining eye contact

  Occasionally nodding the head

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  Smiling

  Showing some animation

  Leaning toward the speaker

  Speaking at a moderate rate

  Using a lower, assuring tone

THE INTERVIEW - TALKING MONEY?
  Don’t grimace
  Don’t smile

  Don’t look down

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  Don’t squint or shut your eyes

  Don’t look up at the ceiling

  Don’t roll your eyes

  Don’t cross your arms

  Don’t bring your hand to your face or mouth

  Maintain neutral eye contact

From “How to Say it at Work” by Jack Griffin

MIRRORING
  Never Mimic
  Stance
  Head Position

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  Voice (Volume)
  Breathing Patterns
  Energy and Intensity
  Pacing & Leading
  Purpose is to build rapport and trust

When deep rapport is established, mirroring happens naturally.

Complete mirroring results in experiencing the same feelings.
 PERSONAL BUBBLE

Intimate
0 to 18 inches Public
12 feet plus

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Personal
18” to 4 feet

Social
4 to 12 feet

From the work of Edward T. Hall

ACCEPTABLE TOUCHING?

  Shaking someone’s hand.

  Giving a friend the “high five” slap.

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  Touching someone’s back.
  Poking someone in the arm to get their attention.
  Slapping someone on the arm.
  Rubbing someone’s shoulders.
  Bumping into someone with your shoulder.
  Putting your arm around someone’s shoulder.
  Giving someone a “bear hug.”
SAMPLES OF CULTURE DIFFERENCES
  Knodding ….
  Handshakes …..

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  Conversational overlaps …..

  Raised eyebrows …..

  Speaking softly ….

  Silence….

  Others ….
HOW TO CONTACT US:

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Sandy Weiner BA, MEd, MCC Roberta Hill, BA, MBA, MCC Marius Hansa, PCC
SandyWeiner@1-Focus.com RobertaHill@1-Focus.com MariusHansa@1-Focus.com
Berlin Geneva Frankfurt