The Child as a model of discipleship

Introduction In the world divorce rate, teen pregnancy rate, child poverty rate, and abortion rate has tremendously increased; teenage suicide has tripled in the last thirty years; millions of children are abused every year; gunshot wounds are the leading cause of death for teenage boys; big percent of teenagers drop out of school; millions of children lack health insurance; children grow up in single-parent families has increased; more middle-class families find it difficult to afford housing, healthcare, and education; all families face huge social pressures from a culture that is not family centered. Therefore, can we conclude that "the tragic fate of too many children is not simply an economic problem, but a sign of moral failure and a religious test. Children are often seen as a distraction from the single-mindedness required of those desiring holiness. Still, early in the Christian tradition, children begin to occupy a place of great importance in the family. They were seen as a justification for sexual relations in a time that valued celibacy and virginity and as an extension of the small Christian community begun by the parents.3 Thus early Christian writings in support of marriage put children at the center of the family. Adding to this, Paul II describes children as a gift from God and claims that a couple's relationship with their children deepens the one-flesh unity between a husband and Wife.1 In today context, what can be learned from children? What would it mean to honor children as models of discipleship, as Jesus seems to have asked Christians to do? Do parents have a legitimate role as shapers of children's value and character? Not very many Christian thinkers have asked these questions. This attempt at a theology of and for children is a relatively new enterprise in which theologians apply their knowledge about Scripture and tradition to the complex issues of how to raise a child. In this seminar I like to elaborate the theme children as models of discipleship. Starting point would be Old Testament, where God chooses children as massagers of His revelation. Jesus adopts same outlook by asserting children as models of discipleship. Children as living members of the family contribute in their own way to the sanctification of their parents. In turn parents have obligation to educate the children. Therefore I would like to elaborate, role of the parents in spiritual formation. Children and the Old Testament Israel sees in fruitfulness a sign of God's blessing". Children are "the crown of old men" (Prov. 17:6), sons are "the olive plants around the table" (Ps 128:3). But the biblical authors do not forget that the child is an unfinished being, and they remember the importance of a firm education. Folly is anchored in his heart (Prov. 22:15), caprice is his law (cf Mt 11:1619); and lest he be tossed about by all winds (E 4, 14), he must be kept under tutelage (G 4: lff). In view of these statements, the biblical affirmations about the religious dignity of the child are all the more remarkable. Even a psalmist, to express his confident abandonment to
1

John Paul II, On the Family, no. 14

the Lord, did not find a better image than that of a young child who sleeps on his mother's bosom (Ps 131:2). Etiology As we examine just who is the object of this spiritual formation, several interesting strands emerge. Parents reared their children, but what constituted a child? The most frequent Hebrew words translated as child" or youth" are yeled and na'ar. 2 These terms are used in a myriad of contexts. Yeled can refer to a fetus (Ex. 21:12), and newborn (Hebrew children saved from death in Egypt), a young child who can still be arm-carried (Ishmael, and the widow's son resuscitated by Elijah), a court page (Daniel's friends), or a generic term for young man," (l Kg 12:8-24).3 Na'ar connotes very similar ideas. It can pertain to infants (Ichabod, grandson of Eli the priest, 1 Sam. 4:21), but could also refer young people in general, even those who are still immature (the son of Gideon who was afraid to kill, Jud. 8:20) and those capable of rape (Shechem, Gen 34:19). The only young person whose actual age is given is Joseph, a seventeen-year-old na'ar according to Gen. 37:2. Absalom, presumably some years older, is always referred to by David as a na'ar. So one meaning seems to be that a na'ar refers to the age a person anywhere from infancy to immediately preceding marriage. The term na'ar seems to comprise a larger sphere of meanings, for it can also designate military personnel (Gen 14:24; Judg 8:20; 1 Sam 21:5-6), civil servants (1 Kg 20:14- 15; Est 2:2; Isa 37:6), and perhaps also cultic officials (Ex. 24:5; 33:11; ISam 1:24,27).4 From above dissection we can conclude that there is an unassuming, yet crucial role that children play throughout her history. Within any culture, one generation's children are the next generation's leaders. Israel was no different. God does not hesitate to choose certain children as the first beneficiaries and messengers of His revelation" and of His salvation' Little Samuel receives the Word of Yahweh and faithfully passes it on (1Sam 1-3); David is singled out in preference to his older brothers (lSam 16:1-13); young Daniel shows himself wiser than the ancients of Israel in saving Susanna (Dn. 3:44-50). Finally, a high point of Messianic prophecy is the birth of Emmanuel, the sign of deliverance (Is 7:14ff): and Isaiah proclaims the royal child who will re-establish right and justice together with the kingdom of David (9:1-6). Jesus and the Children In the New Testament(harmonizing with the old Testament),it was fitting that to inaugurate the new covenant the Son of God should make Himself a little child? Luke has carefully marked the stages of His childhood, a survey of which is as follows: newly born in a manger (Lk 2:12). a little child presented in the temple (2:27), a child obedient to His parents, and yet
2

Joseph Blenkinsopp, The Family in First Temple Israel," in Families in Ancient Israel (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 1997), 66. 3 Ibid Blenkinsopp, 67.
4

Daniel I. Block, Marriage and Family in Ancient Israel," in Marriage and Family in the Biblical World, ed. Ken M. Campbell (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 2003), 78-80.

mysteriously independent of them in His dependence on His Father (2:43-51). As an adult, Jesus adopts the same attitude toward children as God has, which is very evident in the Gospels, Mainly in the Gospel of Mathew. Therefore we shall study Matthew 18:1-5:10:1214. Here, in Chapter 18 of the Gospel of Matthew begins the fourth great discourse of the New Law, the Discourse of the Community. The narrative parts which are inserted among the five Discourses describe the practice of Jesus and show how he practiced and embodied the New Law in his life. The Gospel gives the first part of the Discourse of the Community (Mt 18, 1-14) which has as key word the little ones. The little ones are not only the children, but also the poor persons, those who are not important in society and in the community, and also the children. Jesus asks that these little ones should always be the centre of the concern of the communities because The Father in Heaven does not will that one of these little ones should belost(Mt18,14). Matthew 18, 1: The question of the disciples which provokes the teaching of Jesus. The disciples want to know who is the greater in the Kingdom. The simple fact of this question reveals that they had not understood anything or very little the message of Jesus. The whole Discourse of the Community, is in order to make them understand that among the followers of Jesus the spirit of service should prevail, the gift of self, of pardon, of reconciliation and of gratuitous love, without seeking ones own interest and ones own promotion. Matthew 18, 2-5: The fundamental criterion: the little one and the greater one. The disciples ask for a criterion so as to be able to measure the importance of the persons in the community: Who is the greater in the Kingdom of Heaven? Jesus answers that the criterion are the little ones! The little ones are not socially important; they do not belong to the world of the great. The disciples have to become children. Instead of growing up, to the heights, they must grow down and toward the periphery, where the poor and the little ones live. In this way, they will be the greater in the Kingdom! The reason is the following: Anyone who receives one of these little ones receives me. Jesus identifies himself with them. The love of Jesus for the little ones cannot be explained. Children have no merit. It is the complete gratuity of the love of God which manifests itself and asks to be imitated in the community of those who call themselves disciples of Jesus. Matthew 18, 6-9: Do not scandalize the little ones. To scandalize the little ones means: to be the cause for them to lose their faith in God and to abandon the community. Matthew keeps a very hard phrase of Jesus: Anyone who scandalizes even one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for him to have a mill stone tied around his neck and then be thrown into the sea. It is a sign that at that time many little ones no longer identified themselves with the community and sought another refuge. Matthew 18, 10-11: The angels of the little ones are in the presence of the Father. Jesus recalls Psalm 91. The little ones take Yahweh as their refuge and make the most High their fortress (Ps 91, 9). Matthew 18, 12-14: The parable of the one hundred sheep. According to Luke, this parable reveals the joy of God on the conversion of a sinner (Lk 15, 3-7). According to Matthew, it

reveals that the Father does not want that not even one of the little ones be lost. In other words, the little ones should be the pastoral priority of the Community, of the Church. They should be in the centre of the concern of all. The Child as a model of discipleship One of the most startling things that Jesus says in the Gospel has to do with children, for in his teaching, "the child becomes the criterion of discipleship," "the actual envoy of the kingdom." In Mark 10: 15, Jesus tells his disciples, "Whoever does not receive the Kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."Christ blesses the children (Mk 10, 16), thus revealing that they are on the same level when it comes to entering the kingdom. Children are the symbols of the genuine disciples": "It is to such as they that the kingdom of heaven belongs" (Mt 19,14). Indeed one should "accept the Kingdom as a little child" (Mk 10.15) and receive it in all simplicity as a gift of the Father instead of demanding it as due. He must "return to the state of children" (Mt 18:3) and consent to be "reborn" (In 3,5) in order to get into this kingdom. The secret of true grandeur is "making oneself little" like a child (Mt 18, 4). Such is the true humility without which one cannot become a son of the heavenly Father. The true disciples are precisely "the very little ones" to whom the Father has graciously wished to reveal, as He did before to Daniel, His secrets which are hidden from the wise (Mt 11.25f). In the language of the gospel, moreover, little and disciple seem at times to be equivalent (cf Mt 10.42 and Mk 9.41). Blessed are those who receive one of these little ones (Mt 18:5: cf 25:40. but woe to one who scandalizes or despises them (18:6-10). Jesus society regarded children as small adults in training and obligated parents to practice strict discipline. Children were understood to be simple or nonrational creatures who stood in need of training. 14 Given this culture, Jesus' advocacy of the child as a model follower becomes all the more striking. To those who thought of children as objects requiring care and formation, Jesus suggests quite plainly that children have qualities adults ought to develop. What does it mean to become like a child? The child's low status in society makes her a role model. When Jesus asks his adult followers to look more closely at children, he is telling them again that "the greatest among you must become like the youngest, and the leader like the one who serves" (Luke 22:26). Central to Jesus' ministry was a reversal of social order, a refusal to honor status, an insistence that those on the bottom of society had something that those on the top lacked. Children are a part of "the least of these," and this means that they ought to be heard. Children's ability to receive, their innocence, their humility, and their dependence on others all of these qualities force adults to consider who they are in relation to God and other people.5 Jesus' attention to children: contains a radical message in the reversal of the usual relationship of adult to child and represents a sharp reevaluation of the pivotal social value of honor. It is not merely the learning of a lesson from the child but a turning around to adopt the way of the
5

Julie H. Rubio, A theology of marriage and family, paulist press , new York,2003, p.151.

child both in ready trust and dependency as the only way into the Kingdom, and in identifying with the weak and the dispossessed as itself the way of the Kingdom. Childrens Spiritual Formation and Role of the Parents God's formative activity with respect to His peoples character is to a large degree revealed in discussion about the family. For example, in Gen. 18:19 God chooses Abraham "so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing righteousness and justice." The role parents played in the teaching of the Torah emphasizes the reason why the family unit was considered to be ordained by God at the creation of the universe and why its preservation was to be guaranteed.6 When the child reached adolescence, a son would spend more time with the father, learning skills and developing character required for responsible adulthood (eg. Ex 10:2; 12:26; 13:8; Deut 4:9; 6:7, 20-25; 32:7, 46; Pro 1:8; 6:20), though mothers still had a voice in teaching the son.60 In Isaiah 28:23-29, one reads "As the fathers and mothers of the households instructed their children, Yahweh taught the children of Israel." Jesus gave special attention to the children and He always loved them. Paul is particularly aware of the state of Imperfection that childhood represents (1 Col 13: 11, Gal. 4.1: Eph:4.14). He urges Christians to concentrate on their growth in order to arrive at the "fullness of Christ" (Eph. 4: 12-16). As authors of the life of their offspring, the parents acquire authority over them. Nature itself as well as positive law obliges the parents to care for the physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing of their children. The dependence of the child on his father and mother for his very life and for the attainment of maturity is at the root of the grave obligation which binds the parents to provide for his temporal welfare and to secure, by all the means in their power, his religious, civil and physical education (cf. Can. 1113). . To care for the soul or spiritual welfare of the child is an obligation of parents; 1. The child should be given sacraments in due time. 2. From the earliest age he should be taught his prayers and the fundamental doctrine and practices of religion and morality. 3. Provision must be made for his necessary intellectual education according to the standards of the society in which he will live-as a Catholic. This means that parents are bound, by natural law, to send their children to Catholic schools, unless the Ordinary, for serious reasons and due precautions being taken, permits otherwise (Can. 1374). 4. The effect of home environment upon children, especially the susceptible young, cannot be overestimated. Parents must provide a truly Catholic atmosphere for the proper rearing of their offspring. They must themselves furnish an example of virtueparticularly of the virtues of justice, chastity, modesty and religion-so that their children may guide themselves by their conduct. Above all, the charity of Christ should urge them to realize that 'charity begins at home.7

6 7

Temba L. Mafico, "Ethics (OT)," in The Anchor Bible Dictionary, ed. David N. Freedman (New York: Doubleday, 1992), 2:651.

Augustine Rock, towards marriage in Christ, the priory press, USA, 1962, p.175

5. Parents are so to provide for the future of the child that he has a reasonable opportunity to live decently and spiritually. They should realize, however, that they cannot dictate to their children the choice of a state of life. The Carrying Out of Parental Duties8 The Catechism of the Council of Trent, treating of the fourth commandment, points out three things parents should avoid in fulfilling their duties to their children: Too much indulgence: To make an idol of the child, to fail to reprove or chastise him when a fault is committed, is as detrimental to the child as it is unwise and selfish of the parent. Excessive mildness is an open abdication of responsibility. In the Old Testament, the high priest, Heli, was visited with the heaviest chastisements by God for his over-indulgence to his sons (c. I Kings 4:18 ff.). Too great harshness: This extreme is also to be avoided, for the tender and delicate spirit of the child may be broken by such treatment, and he may become abject, fearful of everything, even coming to hate his parents. Over-severity, whether the parents wish or foresee the result or not, may easily lead to a complete loss of influence over the children. Correction when necessary, of course; but too much harshness may look like-may even be-unholy revenge upon the child. "Fathers," admonishes St. Paul, "provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged" (Col. 3:21). . Unworthy ambitions for their children: "There are many whose sole concern is to leave their children wealth, riches and an ample and splendid fortune; who encourage them, not to piety and religion, nor to honorable employment, but to greed and an increase of wealth; and who, provided their children are rich and wealthy, are oblivious of their good name and of their eternal salvation. Can anything more shameful be thought or expressed? It is true to say of such parents that, instead of bequeathing wealth to their children, they leave them rather their own wickedness and crimes for an inheritance. Instead of conducting them to heaven, they lead them to the eternal torments of hell." Conclusion Where does this reflection on Child as disciple' pedagogy leads us? What does it have to teach us about God in our own lives? What can modern-day parents learn from how Israel passed on its faith to her children, and how can we implement her wisdom as we teach our children about God? Contemporary society seems reluctant to turn to children and do as Jesus did and asked us to do. Jesus took the children in his arms, and he told his followers that when they embraced a child, they embraced him - "Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes not me but the one who sent me" (Mark 9:36-37). Our culture, however, shows a subtle, and sometimes not so subtle, indifference to children. One

Catechism of the Council of Trent, Bk. III, Chap. 4.

author posits that our inability to accept children comes from a reluctance to accept weakness in ourselves." Is the state of our society such that children can really feel accepted and well in it? Don't they often feel more or less vividly that there is basically no place for them, or, if there is one, that it is at best on the periphery? And at the latest when they leave the niches and reserves arranged for them by education, they are regarded as a burdensome disruption of the peace .... Aren't special demands made here on a church which has received and has to hand on the good news of the unconditional acceptance of children?9 The Christian Scriptures offer a model of care, concern, and respect for children; they do not particularly emphasize the relationship between parents and children. In the Christian tradition, however, clearly children quickly assumed a central place in thinking about the family. Still, the tradition holds on to the idea that parents do not own children, nor do they have full responsibility for them or power over them. Rather, children ultimately belong to God and are formed not just by parents but by a church community.10 When we speak about what children contribute to families. John Paul II claims that children "offer their own precious contribution to building up the family community and even to the sanctification of parents." The implication here is that children are not only served by families, but also serve them, even unknowingly. The pope highlights one particularly powerful example of this when he points out that children are signs of the reality of their parents' love.11 Finally, children force clarification of values because they represent the future;" Faced with those who will outlive them and carryon their name, parents must decide what stories to tell, what traditions to teach, what values to make central. They have to become tradition-bearers, not just tradition-receivers, and that means they have to know what is important and what is not. Practical Suggestions Parents need to spend time with their teenagers; parents spending time with their teenage children is the single most important practical step to take, because it is foundational to all other steps to passing on faith. Parents need to pray with their teenagers; In the hustle and bustle of today's world, teenagers are just as busy and strained for time as adults. Without having laid the proper relational foundation by spending time with their teenager, a parent's lecture on what it means to have faith is likely to fall on deaf ears. When Parents pray for their kids is an enormous boost of self-esteem and self-worth. Anything that raises self-worth in a child will in some way point to God. Therefore, Parents need to take responsibility for the spiritual development of their children. 12
9

James francis, children and childhood in the new testament, in the family, ed. Stephen barton, t. & t.clark, Edinburgh, 1996,p.72-73. 10 Julie H. Rubio, A theology of marriage and family, paulist press , new York,2003, p.151 11 John Paul II, On the Family, no.26. 12 Health dialogue, no. 39, 2004,p.2.

There are countless other suggestions that one could draw from the study. The effectiveness of the suggestions given here depends in large part on the attitude of the parent and teenager. It is difficult to offer blanket suggestions and practical tips on how to parent knowing that every child is different as well as every situation and every parent.