Norbit Subtitles - Sub

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Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
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Everyone has their path in life,
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and this is more or less
where mine started.
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My name is Norbit Albert Rice,
and I was an orphan.
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I like to think my parents
loved me very much,
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but just didn't have the means
to properly care for me.
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I can see them researching
all of the orphanages in the area,
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agonizing over their choices,
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trying to make sure
their precious little boy
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was raised in the perfect environment.
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Ling Ling! Someone left another one!
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Coyotes, go! Get! Back! Back, coyotes!
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Get out here! You not eat another baby.
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Oh, crap. Another black one.
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Can't give these away.
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You ugly black one, too.
You be here long time.
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Nobody ever come and say,
"Give me the ugly, black one."
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You very ugly baby.
The ugliest baby I ever seen.
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A lot of people think
that orphanages are cold and scary,
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but the Golden Wonton
was a great place to grow up.
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We had everything
normal children had. Pets...
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Here. Play with that.
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...a big backyard,
and lots of kids to play with.
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Ling Ling!
The children got in MSG barrel.
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Now all their hair gonna fall out again.
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You stupid orphan!
Nobody want a bald orphan!
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Norbit, how you find family with no hair?
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Nobody want a bald Norbit!
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What the hell wrong
with the children here?
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Mr. Wong was a very interesting man.
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In addition to his love for children
and preparation of fine Asian cuisine,
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he had a real passion
for old-time whaling.
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It's a whale, ho!
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Die, you son-of-a!
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Bingo! Right in the blow hole!
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Norbit, where you go?
Why you run off like little bitch?
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After Marvin Browning got lost

downtown for a couple of weeks,
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the orphanage started using
a buddy system.
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Go, Norbit!
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My buddy was little Kate.
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Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit!
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That's okay. You're doing good.
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Kate and I were always together.
Playing checkers...
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-Oh, man.
-Yes!
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...watching scary movies.
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Why, we even pooped together.
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And then one day, Kate and I decided
that we should tie the knot.
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We got married
under the great big oak tree.
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I now pronounce you my wife.
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And I pronounce you my husband.
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It's watermelon.
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Yours is green apple.
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I think it's time for us to kiss now.
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And we lived happily ever after
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for about two weeks
until she got adopted.
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Bye, Norbit.
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I didn't do too much bike riding
after that.
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When Kate left, there was an
odd number of kids at the orphanage,
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so I was buddyless for a while.
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And sometimes I'd get a little sad,
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but I never lost hope.
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I knew that someday I'd find
another somebody to share my life with.

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All I had to do was just be patient.
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-What'd you do that for?
-Because we felt like it.
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-What are you gonna do about it?
-What are you gonna do about it?
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Loser.
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Stop it.
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Leave him alone.
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-Says who?
-Says who?
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-Who are you?
-Rasputia. What's your name?
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-Norbit.
-Norbit? That's a stupid name.
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-Why'd you beat those boys up?
-To protect you.
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-You got a girlfriend, Nesbit?
-Norbit.
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No.
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Well, you do now.
Get your ass up and hold my hand.
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-Okay.
-How you doing?
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Everything changed
once I had Rasputia as my girlfriend.
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We took care of each other,
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and the other kids
started to respect me.
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I'll take...
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-Norbit.
-Come on.
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And because of Rasputia,
for the first time in my life,
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I had a real family.
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Rasputia had three brothers.
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Big Black Jack. He was the oldest.
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Leg.
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Then, there was Blue.
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Breasts.
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And Earl. He was the baby.
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Wing.
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They sure loved their little sister,
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and so they treated me
like one of their own.
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Here you go, Norbit.
Saved the best piece for you.
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-What's that?
-Turkey ass. Eat up, sucker.
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Bon appetitty.
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Bon appetitty.
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The Latimores had a reputation
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for being the meanest,
nastiest people in town,
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but that's just because

folks didn't know them.
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They were actually
very nice, hard-working people.
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They ran
the local construction company,
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and recently, responding to the needs
of the community...
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Yo, Morris.
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...had opened a little security business.
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It was a surprisingly popular service
among the local vendors.
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Hey, you don't shake me down.
I'm Italian. I shake you down.
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-Is that right?
-Yes.
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Get his ass in here.
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I'm in.
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As time passed,
Rasputia and I got closer and closer,
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in high school and as adults.
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I started working as a bookkeeper
in her family's business.
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I'm expecting
some important calls today, Norbit,
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so when you answer the phone,
try and sound white.
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so when you answer the phone,
try and sound white.
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It was like everything was
finally coming together.
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Yes.
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Of course,
it was only natural that Rasputia and I
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would take the next step
in our relationship.
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I now pronounce you man and wife.
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You may kiss the bride.
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Open your mouth.
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Go, Rasputia!
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It was a storybook wedding,
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the beginning of a brand-new chapter.
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I knew I would never be lonely again.
I had found my place in the world.
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Poor Norbit. Man.
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Back when I was in the game,
I used to tell my hos,
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"Hos, ain't no man gonna pay for
the cow if he can get the milk for free."
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You ain't got to worry
about this brother buying the milk,
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'cause he just bought
the whole damn cow.
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That's a special cow, too.
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That must be
where buttermilk come from.
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Sing that shit, girl.
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Them are not dimples.

Them are potholes in her ass.
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Look like an Escalade
in a wedding dress.
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It a horror show.
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Norbit. What a woman you got.
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-Hi, fellows.
-We're all jealous, right, boys?
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-Oh, yeah. Way jealous.
-Wish I had one like that.
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Norbit, let me talk to you for a second.
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Look, just so we clear.
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If you ever hurt my sister in any way,
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make her cry,
even make her sad one time,
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I'm coming at you
with razor blades and lemon juice.
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-You hear me?
-Yes.
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I'm talking pain, boy.

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Searing, mind-numbing pain.
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I understand.
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-You understand me?
-Yes, yes, yes.
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All right.
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-Welcome to the family.
-Thank you.
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Somebody is take
a big hunk out of my cake!
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What y'all looking at?
I ain't had no cake.
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You better mind your damn business.
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Hey, hey! Everyone!
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I am Mr. Wong.
I am best man in wedding.
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I feel it my place to say something,
make a toast to bride and groom,
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tell story about Norbit.
I like Norbit father.

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I raise Norbit. He like my own child.
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And I want to say that
I very, very confused, Norbit,
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that you... You marry Latimore.
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I don't understand it, because
when you was a little boy, you say,
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"One day I find the girl of my dreams."
And then you marry a gorilla.
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I joke, I joke, I joke.
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Why you not know joke
when you hear joke?
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Why you wanna make fight at wedding?
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Cool off, before I have to
bust somebody ass in here. Okay.
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When Norbit just little boy,
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he like to always
run all over place naked. Always naked.
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And Norbit, when he was just little boy,
had a pee-pee the size of an egg roll.

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-You know, Norbit.
-That's true.
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And one day, down by creek,
Norbit run around naked
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and poisonous snake jump up
and bite Norbit right on ass.
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Very close to hole.
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Norbit pass out. I think Norbit is dead.
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I go to check the boy pulse.
He still alive. He still alive!
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"Okay," I say,
"I must do something to save child."
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So, I start to think,
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"Do I suck poison out of Norbit's ass
or do I let him die?"
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I do the most responsible thing.
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I say, "Hell to the no!
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"Norbit is out of here,
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"because it is long time in hell
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"before Wong suck poison
out of another man's ass."
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But strange, mystical thing
happen, Norbit.
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Even though poison is in Norbit,
he not die.
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Norbit get stronger and stronger.
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That why I know, Norbit,
deep down inside, you very, very strong.
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You strong like warrior.
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00:13:19,999 --> 00:13:23,230
That's why I say to you, Norbit,
you can survive anything.
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00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:24,899
Even...
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So I say to everyone here, and to Norbit,
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I wish you much happiness and peace
and love,
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and lots of bananas for your new gorilla.
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I only kidding. To Norbit and Rasputia.
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00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,086
Norbit, you know
what would be so romantic?
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If you'd carry me over the threshold
like a little chocolate drop.
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00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:56,396
Be delicate, now.
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00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:01,937
Put your back into it.
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00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:06,473
Come on, now. Be a man.
You ain't no man.
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00:14:07,279 --> 00:14:08,610
Pathetic.
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00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:16,186
Rasputia, I know we're both nervous
because we've never done this before,
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but we can take our time, darling.
In sweet time.
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Rasputia was so full of love.
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Merry Christmas!
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00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:37,404
Ho, ho, ho!
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00:14:37,509 --> 00:14:40,034
It was a love that sustained us

through the years.
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Halt!
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00:14:44,283 --> 00:14:46,843
187. Officer down.
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00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:49,147
And it's still going strong.
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Happy Presidents' Day!
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00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:56,490
God bless America.
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And so, we began our life together,
like any other happily married couple.
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00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:04,462
Morning, Rasputia.
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00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,060
"Morning, Rasputia," my ass.
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00:15:06,171 --> 00:15:08,298
I tell you what. You better do something
about that goddamn dog,
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00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:09,567
because I ain't gonna be
getting terrorized
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00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:10,972
by no dog on my own property.
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00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:13,271
I'm sick of it! I'm gonna go out
and purchase me a pellet rifle!
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00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:14,846
And then I'm gonna give him
something to bark about
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00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:18,508
when I start popping pellets
in his little bug-eyed bastard's ass.
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00:15:19,618 --> 00:15:23,076
Messing around with you,
now I'm gonna be late for dance class.
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00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:30,353
God damn it, Norbit.
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00:15:30,462 --> 00:15:33,454
How many times I got to tell you, when
you drive my car, don't adjust my seat!
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00:15:33,565 --> 00:15:36,966
-I haven't touched your seat.
-Then why is it up so damn far?
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00:15:37,069 --> 00:15:40,266
It looks like it's back
as far as it goes, Rasputia.
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00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:41,905
No, you moved it. I can tell, 'cause look,
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00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:44,942
when I inhale,
my titty make the horn honk. Listen.
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00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,306
You see that?
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00:15:47,813 --> 00:15:50,145
-That ain't right.
-I hear it.
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00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:53,343
That scientifically prove
that you was adjusting my seat.

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00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,545
-That's not science.
-It is. Now just let it go.
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00:15:55,654 --> 00:15:58,054
-It's not science.
-I said let it go.
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00:15:58,157 --> 00:16:00,853
-I'm just...
-I said it was science, God damn it.
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00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:10,357
Why you think I want to sell
Golden Wonton Restaurant?
237
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:11,663
I got a good business.
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00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:14,295
It practically run itself.
I make a lot of money here.
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00:16:14,406 --> 00:16:20,675
Every man got a price.
We think this might be yours.
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00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:38,930
And here is my counteroffer.
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00:16:46,271 --> 00:16:49,001
-Excuse me.
-All right, it's go time.
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00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:56,876
I not like rest of town people.
I not intimidated by Latimore.
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00:16:56,982 --> 00:17:00,782
-You wrong, Wong. Relax, man.
-Be cool with that thing, Mr. Wong.
244
00:17:00,886 --> 00:17:02,581
Ling Ling, get my pistol!
245
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:05,748
That dude is crazy.
Let's get the hell out of here!
246
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:09,419
I never sell to Latimore! Ever! Ever!
247
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:15,463
All right! Y'all ready, class?
Are y'all ready?
248
00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:19,162
We gonna perforate!
We gonna penetrate!
249
00:17:19,505 --> 00:17:20,802
We gonna percolate!
250
00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:22,671
We gonna palpitate!
251
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:28,039
All because we wanna master the bate,
the art of power-tap the fat.
252
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:31,383
Come on, and power-tap the fat.
Take that, power-tap the fat.
253
00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:33,314
Hey, you get your skinny ass
out of my way.
254
00:17:33,419 --> 00:17:36,149
One, two, three, four.
I stepped in poo, better wipe it off.
255
00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:39,383
256
00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:43,154
I stepped in poo, better wipe it off.
257
00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:46,288
Ride the horse. Ride the horse!
258
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:51,465
Keep bucking, y'all!
Keep bucking! And slide!
259
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:55,768
Click clackety clack! Come on, slide!
Click clackety clack! Just slide!
260
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:59,275
Here come the cops.
Here come the cops.
261
00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:02,677
They take me to jail.
They take me to jail.
262
00:18:02,781 --> 00:18:06,114
Riverdance. Come on, white people.
Riverdance. Come on, white people.
263
00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:07,947
Riverdance. Come on.
264
00:18:08,053 --> 00:18:09,918
Now, pump, pump, pump, pump,
pump me up.
265
00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:11,614
Pump, pump, pump, pump,
pump me down.
266
00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:17,252
And one, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.
267
00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:20,627

And stretch it out.
Work your whole bicuspids area,
268
00:18:20,732 --> 00:18:24,600
your whole bilaterals and bisexuals.
Very good.
269
00:18:24,703 --> 00:18:26,068
Excuse me, Buster?
270
00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:27,798
I think I need
a little adjustment over here.
271
00:18:27,906 --> 00:18:30,033
Look at you,
looking like the Great Pumpkin, girl.
272
00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:31,939
Trick or treat. What's going on?
273
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:35,275
Well, see, I was born with a trick hip
and it made me real bendy.
274
00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:37,871
See, I'm just like licorice. Look.
275
00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:41,309
Goddamn, girl,
that look like the harvest moon.
276
00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:44,651
-Turn a brother to a werewolf.
-You just need to stop.
277
00:18:44,756 --> 00:18:48,021
You know what?
Do you do any private lessons?
278
00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:52,158
I could do private lessons
if you could do me a little favor.
279
00:18:52,264 --> 00:18:53,322
What's that?
280
00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:58,062
Just need you talk to your little brothers
about funding my little video tape.
281
00:18:58,170 --> 00:18:59,933
I'm trying to make power-tap
more international.
282
00:19:00,038 --> 00:19:01,596
I'm trying to be like Billy Blanks,
283
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,299
but double the money
and half the Blank.
284
00:19:03,408 --> 00:19:05,103
That's a good idea.
285
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:09,340
Maybe I will, maybe I will.
But, first, I got to get that private lesson.
286
00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:11,541
Okay. Call me, girl.
287
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:14,619
-I'll call you.
-I'll be your private dancer.
288
00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:20,287
-Must be Saturday.
-Why is that?
289
00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:23,186
Because here come Norbit,
right on schedule.
290
00:19:24,029 --> 00:19:26,190
Almost set your watch to him.
291
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:30,661
Hey, Pope Sweet Jesus
and Lord Have Mercy.
292
00:19:30,769 --> 00:19:31,963
How you guys doing, fellows?
293
00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:33,094
Business is good.
294
00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:35,730
Business is good.
It's almost like the good old days.
295
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:36,808
Yes, indeedy.
296
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,171
What do you mean,
"the good old days"?
297
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:40,837
The good old days, man,
back when we was pimping, Norbit.
298
00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:41,935
You know.
299
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,342
-You guys used to pimp?
-"Used to"?
300
00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:46,747
That's a violation. Still pimping.
Once a pimp, always a pimp.
301
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:49,013
-Always. Forever.
-Boss player.
302
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,322
Rasputia sent me down here
to get the usual.

303
00:19:51,423 --> 00:19:52,447
You guys are open, right?
304
00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:54,582
We always open.
Go on and take yourself in there, Norbit.
305
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:55,887
We'll stack that up for you.
306
00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:00,993
-Moniqua!
-Yes, Daddy.
307
00:20:01,099 --> 00:20:04,557
Can you get King Kong
three large buckets, extra sauce?
308
00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:06,160
-Please don't trim the fat.
-Yes, Daddy.
309
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:08,466
Please don't trim that fat.
She will kill me.
310
00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:10,098
Norbit, while I got your attention,
311
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:13,440
can I interest you in some new shoes,
maybe a haircut?
312
00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:15,513
How about a bath or a sink?
313
00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:18,276
Hey, don't tell me
you guys bought the bath store, too?
314
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,715
It's a perfect fit, man.

We used to sell bitches to johns.
315
00:20:20,819 --> 00:20:23,287
Now we selling johns to bitches.
316
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:26,585
-Beds, bitches, and beyond!
-Sound like money to me.
317
00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:27,716
No, thanks, guys.
318
00:20:27,826 --> 00:20:30,021
I got to go do a puppet show
for the kids at the orphanage.
319
00:20:30,128 --> 00:20:31,095
At the orphanage?
320
00:20:31,196 --> 00:20:33,460
That's a nice thing you do
for them little kids over there.
321
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,089
Why don't you take
these little tater puffs
322
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,462
over there to them little children?
323
00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:39,332
Oh, that's great, guys. That's sweet.
324
00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:42,100
Wait, my puppets! I forgot my puppets!
325
00:20:42,207 --> 00:20:43,674
I got to go. I got to go, guys.
326
00:20:43,775 --> 00:20:45,640
-Where's his puppets?
-He ain't got no puppets.
327
00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:54,380
What's Rasputia doing home so early?
328
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,553
'Sputia?
329
00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:04,052
Oh, yeah, girl.
330
00:21:04,162 --> 00:21:05,754
Come on, girl, that's sweet chocolate!
331
00:21:05,864 --> 00:21:08,492
Okay, you in trouble, now.
You in trouble. You in trouble, now.
332
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,865
I'm Willy Wonka.
Get up on that Oompa Loompa.
333
00:21:16,375 --> 00:21:19,310
That's sweet. Oh, yeah.
Take all that, girl.
334
00:21:19,411 --> 00:21:22,107
Take it with your big old self, girl.
You ain't never had it like this.
335
00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:24,444
You ain't never had it like this!
336
00:21:24,549 --> 00:21:26,278
Hell, yeah.
Come on, we gonna do pig in a blanket.
337
00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:27,750
Come on, pig in a blanket.
338
00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:30,481
-Now squeal. Squeal! Squeal!
-Oink, oink, oink!
339
00:21:30,589 --> 00:21:31,647
Take it from the back.
340
00:21:31,757 --> 00:21:35,488
Damn, I feel like Willy Wonka,
all this sweet chocolate up in this...
341
00:21:36,595 --> 00:21:42,056
Hey. How you doing, man?
What's good with you, brother?
342
00:21:42,167 --> 00:21:44,294
How's it going, man? How you doing?
343
00:21:44,403 --> 00:21:46,428
I'm Bust-a-move Perkin.
How you doing?
344
00:21:46,538 --> 00:21:48,130
Man, your wife was
just talking about you.
345
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,935
Man, she love you.
346
00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:55,207
-You're Rasputia's tap dance teacher.
-Man, actually, I'm her power-tap guru.
347
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:57,942
I was just here
giving her a little tap lesson.
348
00:21:58,050 --> 00:21:59,745
But you're naked.
349
00:22:00,018 --> 00:22:02,384
That's just so she could see
the various muscle groups
350
00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:03,818
as I go through the various routines.
351
00:22:03,922 --> 00:22:07,517
You see that there?
You can't see that with a turtleneck.
352
00:22:09,127 --> 00:22:10,651
And you have an...
353
00:22:10,762 --> 00:22:13,822
Oh, man,
I'm just real passionate about dance.
354
00:22:13,932 --> 00:22:16,594
You can say the word "dance"
and he just jump up. Dance!
355
00:22:16,702 --> 00:22:18,431
See that? See that there?
356
00:22:18,704 --> 00:22:19,796
'Sputia?
357
00:22:19,905 --> 00:22:21,896
Norbit, Buster's a guest in our home.
358
00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:23,668
How dare you insinuate
something like that?
359
00:22:23,775 --> 00:22:25,333
Yeah, Orbit!
360
00:22:25,444 --> 00:22:28,709
How dare you insinuate
something such like that!
361
00:22:28,814 --> 00:22:33,547
You know, I am actually offended
by your accusization, you understand?
362
00:22:33,652 --> 00:22:37,019
And rather than sit here and have
a belligerent confrontation with you,
363
00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:39,590
'cause I am a God-fearing man,
364
00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:44,060
I'm'a do like Jesus H. Christ
would do in a situation such as such
365
00:22:44,162 --> 00:22:46,960
and I'm gonna turn the other cheek.
366
00:22:47,065 --> 00:22:48,362
Amen.
367
00:22:53,004 --> 00:22:54,995
You happy now?
368
00:22:55,107 --> 00:22:57,075
Rasputia, you cheated on me!
369
00:22:57,175 --> 00:22:58,802
Look, I told your ass
ain't nothing happened,
370
00:22:58,910 --> 00:22:59,968
and the next time you say
it happened again,
371
00:23:00,078 --> 00:23:02,512
I'm gonna knock your teeth
out your mouth.
372
00:23:03,115 --> 00:23:05,675
Rasputia, we took vows.
I'm your husband.
373
00:23:06,451 --> 00:23:10,182
Rasputia, we took vows,
and you cheated on me!
374
00:23:10,522 --> 00:23:12,387
It never happened!
375
00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:15,551

Yes, it did!
376
00:23:15,660 --> 00:23:19,721
And that makes you
the queen of whores!
377
00:23:25,203 --> 00:23:26,670
Hey, Norbit!
378
00:23:34,179 --> 00:23:35,737
Run for your lives!
379
00:23:38,850 --> 00:23:40,112
Bastard! Come here!
380
00:23:42,721 --> 00:23:45,019
Oh, sweet Moses! Oh, my God!
381
00:23:45,123 --> 00:23:47,489
Come here! Come here!
Come here to me!
382
00:23:47,592 --> 00:23:48,752
No! Leave me alone!
383
00:23:48,860 --> 00:23:50,487
You ain't nothing
but a goddamn coward!
384
00:23:50,595 --> 00:23:51,960
Saddle tramp!
385
00:23:57,803 --> 00:24:00,067
That's what your stupid black ass get!
386
00:24:00,172 --> 00:24:02,265
I hope you broke your ass!
387
00:24:03,975 --> 00:24:05,533
Since you feel like running, Norbit,
388
00:24:05,644 --> 00:24:08,477

why don't you run your ass
down to the Rib Shak
389
00:24:08,580 --> 00:24:10,982
and get me a short stack of ribs?
390
00:24:10,982 --> 00:24:11,812
and get me a short stack of ribs?
391
00:24:11,917 --> 00:24:14,477
Extra hot sauce.
392
00:24:14,586 --> 00:24:17,987
All this setting you straight
done got me famished.
393
00:24:25,931 --> 00:24:27,990
I'm Little Red Riding Goose,
394
00:24:28,099 --> 00:24:30,727
walking through the forest,
minding my own business,
395
00:24:30,836 --> 00:24:32,701
when all at once...
396
00:24:32,804 --> 00:24:33,930
Hello.
397
00:24:34,039 --> 00:24:37,702
-Who are you?
-I'm the big, bad pig of the forest.
398
00:24:37,809 --> 00:24:40,573
My, what big eyes you have, Pig.
399
00:24:40,679 --> 00:24:42,670
The better to see you with, Goose.
400
00:24:42,781 --> 00:24:46,046
And my, what a big nose you have, Pig.
401
00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:49,780
The better to smell them scrumptious
goodies you got in your basket.
402
00:24:49,888 --> 00:24:52,516
Hey, let me take a look in there.
403
00:24:52,624 --> 00:24:56,788
Oh, no, you don't.
You're gonna try to steal my food.
404
00:24:56,895 --> 00:24:58,328
No, I won't steal your food.
405
00:24:58,430 --> 00:25:01,228
Don't let that pig
push you around, Goose.
406
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:04,461
Yeah, I'm tired of
you pushing me around.
407
00:25:04,569 --> 00:25:06,628
Look, I'm tired of
playing with your ass, bitch.
408
00:25:06,738 --> 00:25:08,330
I know you got ribs in that basket.
409
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:09,805
You better give them up smooth
410
00:25:09,908 --> 00:25:12,342
or I'm gonna break my hoof off
in your goose ass.
411
00:25:12,444 --> 00:25:15,208
Oh, really? Well, why don't you get up
off of your lazy behind
412
00:25:15,313 --> 00:25:17,440
and go down to the Rib Shak
and get your own ribs?
413
00:25:17,549 --> 00:25:20,177
Or better still,
why don't you just call Buster
414
00:25:20,285 --> 00:25:22,378
and tell him to come over
and power-tap you,
415
00:25:22,487 --> 00:25:24,614
because in addition to being
the pig of the forest,
416
00:25:24,723 --> 00:25:27,521
you're also a saddle tramp,
whore, bitch pig...
417
00:25:27,626 --> 00:25:31,756
Norbit! What you doing?
This supposed to be a children's show.
418
00:25:31,863 --> 00:25:35,890
This remind me
of Chinese snuff film I once co-star in.
419
00:25:36,001 --> 00:25:39,437
I'm sorry. I got a little carried away.
420
00:25:39,638 --> 00:25:42,607
Wow, Norbit,
that was some puppet show.
421
00:25:44,843 --> 00:25:48,176
Oh, come on. You don't remember me?
422
00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:53,408
-Kate. Kate.
-Come here!
423
00:25:53,518 --> 00:25:56,976
Kate! Kate! Oh, God!
I can't believe it! Kate!
424
00:25:57,289 --> 00:25:59,348

Well, can I have a hug?
425
00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:03,717
Norbit.
426
00:26:05,330 --> 00:26:07,491
It just like old times.
427
00:26:07,599 --> 00:26:10,295
Maybe you two go take poop together.
428
00:26:16,942 --> 00:26:19,103
This place has not changed at all.
429
00:26:19,210 --> 00:26:22,976
Oh, yeah. Some of this furniture's
even come back in style.
430
00:26:23,081 --> 00:26:25,345
So, how long are
you gonna be visiting for?
431
00:26:25,450 --> 00:26:27,680
No, I'm not visiting. I'm moving back.
432
00:26:27,786 --> 00:26:30,619
Really? Wow.
433
00:26:30,722 --> 00:26:33,418
I sold my clothing business in Atlanta,
434
00:26:33,525 --> 00:26:36,722
and I'm going to use the money
to buy the orphanage.
435
00:26:36,828 --> 00:26:38,261
What?
436
00:26:38,897 --> 00:26:43,334
Mr. Wong's getting older.
He wants to go whaling, so...
437
00:26:43,802 --> 00:26:47,829
You know, it's always been my dream
to come back here and take over.
438
00:26:48,106 --> 00:26:49,937
That's great.
439
00:26:51,643 --> 00:26:53,110
Norbit, look.
440
00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:57,676
That's the tree we got married under.
441
00:26:59,918 --> 00:27:02,443
You know, I've still got my ring.
442
00:27:03,455 --> 00:27:05,218
I ate mine.
443
00:27:06,891 --> 00:27:09,485
I missed you so much when you left.
444
00:27:10,829 --> 00:27:12,592
I missed you, too.
445
00:27:15,066 --> 00:27:16,658
That's my car.
446
00:27:17,736 --> 00:27:20,967
We didn't really get a chance
to catch up much.
447
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:25,508
I'll be back in town on Tuesday.
You wanna have lunch?
448
00:27:26,044 --> 00:27:28,638
Yeah, I would love to
have lunch on Tuesday.
449
00:27:28,747 --> 00:27:29,975
-I love lunch.
-Okay.
450
00:27:30,081 --> 00:27:33,812
Lunch, yes. For sure.
I love lunch. Tuesday.
451
00:27:34,285 --> 00:27:35,343
I'll see you Tuesday.
452
00:27:35,453 --> 00:27:39,048
I'll see you on Tuesday.
We'll have lunch on Tuesday.
453
00:27:39,991 --> 00:27:41,549
Tuesday.
454
00:27:41,993 --> 00:27:44,689
Tuesday. Tuesday.
455
00:27:44,796 --> 00:27:48,459
Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday,
Tuesday.
456
00:27:48,733 --> 00:27:52,499
Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday...
457
00:27:52,604 --> 00:27:56,404
Tuesday, Tuesday...
458
00:28:01,713 --> 00:28:04,238
Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday.
459
00:28:04,349 --> 00:28:07,512
Tuesday, Tuesday...
460
00:28:07,619 --> 00:28:11,555
Say "Tuesday" again
and you ain't gonna see Wednesday!
461
00:28:11,656 --> 00:28:13,783
I got it. I'll get it. Tuesday.
462
00:28:14,459 --> 00:28:17,223
Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday.
463
00:28:18,163 --> 00:28:19,960
-Buster. How you doing? You look great.
-Hey.
464
00:28:20,065 --> 00:28:22,226
-Oh, thank you, man.
-Good to see you. Good to see you.
465
00:28:22,333 --> 00:28:24,324
Thank you.
I thought you were gonna be at work.
466
00:28:24,436 --> 00:28:25,698
Yeah, I'm on my way out now.
467
00:28:25,804 --> 00:28:27,965
But hey, look,
there's cold beer in the refrigerator
468
00:28:28,073 --> 00:28:30,200
and there's fresh sheets on the bed.
Go have a great dance lesson.
469
00:28:30,308 --> 00:28:31,468
-All right.
-All right.
470
00:28:31,576 --> 00:28:32,804
Power-tap.
471
00:28:32,911 --> 00:28:35,709
Very good, very good.
472
00:28:37,716 --> 00:28:39,183
Tuesday.
473
00:28:42,353 --> 00:28:44,878
What's wrong with your boy?
He real cool all of a sudden.
474
00:28:44,989 --> 00:28:48,823
Yeah, I don't know what the hell got
into him, but I know I got dance fever.
475
00:28:48,927 --> 00:28:51,395
Ready for a little power-tap, huh?
476
00:28:52,831 --> 00:28:54,628
Lord, give me strength.
477
00:28:55,366 --> 00:28:56,958
Hey, Sam, happy Tuesday.
478
00:28:57,068 --> 00:28:58,228
Norbit.
479
00:28:58,336 --> 00:28:59,462
Norbit.
480
00:28:59,571 --> 00:29:02,438
-Hey, Kate. Hi.
-Come on, I got us a table.
481
00:29:02,540 --> 00:29:04,235
Great. I've been looking forward to this
all week.
482
00:29:04,342 --> 00:29:05,809
Good.
483
00:29:05,910 --> 00:29:07,537
Hey.
484
00:29:08,179 --> 00:29:09,237
Hey. Who's he?
485
00:29:09,347 --> 00:29:11,406
Norbit, this is my fianc, Deion Hughes.
486
00:29:11,516 --> 00:29:14,508
How you doing, my man?
Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.

487
00:29:14,619 --> 00:29:16,746
-This is your fianc?
-Yes, sir.
488
00:29:16,855 --> 00:29:19,688
I was just telling Deion that you and I
were buddy partners at the orphanage.
489
00:29:19,791 --> 00:29:21,725
Now she and I are buddy partners.
490
00:29:21,826 --> 00:29:25,762
Shame on you, man,
letting a girl go like this. I feel for you.
491
00:29:25,864 --> 00:29:28,332
And so Deion's got all this experience
in real estate,
492
00:29:28,433 --> 00:29:31,368
so he's going to help me buy
the orphanage, Norbit. It's so exciting!
493
00:29:31,469 --> 00:29:33,198
No, wait, wait. No, no.
Slow down, slow down.
494
00:29:33,304 --> 00:29:35,966
I mean, you know,
we're just out here just scouting it out.
495
00:29:36,074 --> 00:29:38,133
All right? This is her nest egg,
you know.
496
00:29:38,243 --> 00:29:39,904
I don't want her
making any hasty decisions
497
00:29:40,011 --> 00:29:41,808
that she might regret later, you know?
498
00:29:41,913 --> 00:29:44,438
She worked too hard for this money,
man, you know what I mean?
499
00:29:44,549 --> 00:29:47,074
Deion, you take
such good care of me, baby.
500
00:29:47,185 --> 00:29:49,847
It's my job. Stop it.
501
00:29:50,588 --> 00:29:51,987
Okay?
502
00:29:56,761 --> 00:29:59,286
Don't you just love Tuesdays?
503
00:30:04,335 --> 00:30:08,362
Lloyd, just tell me why it has to hurt
so GD much.
504
00:30:12,911 --> 00:30:14,401
What's the matter, boy?
505
00:30:14,512 --> 00:30:18,573
You sensing an earthquake
or some other sort of natural disaster?
506
00:30:24,055 --> 00:30:25,886
That's just my...
507
00:30:26,524 --> 00:30:27,821
My wife.
508
00:30:38,069 --> 00:30:40,230
A man needs his own space.
509
00:30:49,948 --> 00:30:53,611
Finally! For the love of Cain.
510
00:30:59,591 --> 00:31:01,058
Moses!
511
00:31:02,427 --> 00:31:05,328
I'll see you suckers
tomorrow at the picnic!
512
00:31:20,511 --> 00:31:22,479
Damn it, Norbit!
How many times I got to tell you,
513
00:31:22,580 --> 00:31:23,911
don't be messing with my car seat!
514
00:31:24,015 --> 00:31:25,880
Nobody touched your old, stupid seat.
515
00:31:25,984 --> 00:31:29,351
Then how come
it's all mushed up like this, then?
516
00:31:29,454 --> 00:31:31,422
Well, you know, Rasputia,
you've been eating so much lately
517
00:31:31,522 --> 00:31:36,118
there's a very strong possibility that...
The car is shrinking.
518
00:31:36,227 --> 00:31:39,219
Might be shrinking.
The car is being smaller.
519
00:31:39,330 --> 00:31:44,029
Yeah, you might be right. Been raining
a lot lately. All this moist weather.
520
00:31:44,135 --> 00:31:47,662
-Oh, yeah? That'll make it shrink.
-This weather's so moist.
521
00:31:54,045 --> 00:31:55,706
How you doing?
522
00:32:00,118 --> 00:32:03,485
Don't cha wish your girlfriend

was hot like me
523
00:32:03,588 --> 00:32:06,386
was a freak like me
524
00:32:06,891 --> 00:32:08,188
Don't cha
525
00:32:09,394 --> 00:32:12,329
Look at that dog over there,
eyeballing me.
526
00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:15,126
Rasputia, what are you doing?
527
00:32:15,233 --> 00:32:16,495
Shut up!
528
00:32:17,068 --> 00:32:20,799
-Hey, slow down! You're gonna hit him!
-I got you now. I got you now!
529
00:32:23,741 --> 00:32:25,800
-Stop it! No!
-I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna get you.
530
00:32:25,910 --> 00:32:29,073
Rasputia, don't! No! No! No!
531
00:32:35,620 --> 00:32:36,955
I know what that sound means!
532
00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:37,387
I know what that sound means!
533
00:32:37,488 --> 00:32:39,718
Bark! How you doing!
534
00:32:39,824 --> 00:32:41,018
Lloyd!
535
00:32:42,093 --> 00:32:44,220
Enough is enough.
536
00:32:44,329 --> 00:32:47,355
Now, where in the hell
do you think you're going?
537
00:32:47,699 --> 00:32:49,326
Lloyd's in the hospital because of you!
538
00:32:49,434 --> 00:32:51,459
Yeah, that's right.
I put his little dog ass in the hospital.
539
00:32:51,569 --> 00:32:54,163
And I'd have put it in the morgue, too,
if you didn't mess with my car seat.
540
00:32:54,272 --> 00:32:55,671
It threw off my driving skills.
541
00:32:55,773 --> 00:33:02,303
Rasputia, you are a mean, selfish, cold,
heartless woman, and I am leaving you!
542
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,505
-You leaving me?
-Yes!
543
00:33:05,283 --> 00:33:07,012
Well, where the hell
you think you're going, big shot?
544
00:33:07,118 --> 00:33:08,847
You ain't got no money.
You ain't got no family.
545
00:33:08,953 --> 00:33:10,545
Everything is in my name, the car,
the house...
546
00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:13,146
You ain't nothing and you ain't gonna
never be nothing without me, Norbit!

547
00:33:13,257 --> 00:33:17,193
Norbit, you just can't leave!
Norbit, please, I'm with child!
548
00:33:19,630 --> 00:33:21,257
With child?
549
00:33:21,366 --> 00:33:25,803
Oh, yes, Norbit, can't you tell?
I'm getting a little belly.
550
00:33:26,871 --> 00:33:29,897
And my titties is all achy and itchy-like.
551
00:33:30,041 --> 00:33:33,340
Oh, Norbit, we gonna be a family.
552
00:33:34,512 --> 00:33:40,178
Oh, Norbit, come hug me,
Daddy, please.
553
00:33:42,086 --> 00:33:44,919
Please, Norbit.
554
00:34:03,808 --> 00:34:05,867
I understand, little pony.
555
00:34:07,145 --> 00:34:08,669
I know your pain.
556
00:34:10,014 --> 00:34:11,914
Oh, yes, I know.
557
00:34:14,085 --> 00:34:16,076
Excuse me, snow bunny.
558
00:34:16,187 --> 00:34:19,588
I don't come in your jurisdiction,
throwing town picnics.
559
00:34:19,690 --> 00:34:23,626

Yet here you is all up in mines,
pimping hos.
560
00:34:23,995 --> 00:34:25,360
It's just a kissing booth.
561
00:34:25,463 --> 00:34:29,194
Call it what you will,
but Pope Sweet Jesus
562
00:34:29,300 --> 00:34:30,961
is taking half.
563
00:34:32,403 --> 00:34:34,564
You work for me now, ho.
564
00:34:35,940 --> 00:34:36,929
Sure.
565
00:34:37,041 --> 00:34:38,440
Let me taste the goods.
566
00:34:38,543 --> 00:34:39,976
Put it on me.
567
00:34:41,245 --> 00:34:42,974
-Greasy.
-Greasy.
568
00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:44,912
We back in business.
569
00:34:47,285 --> 00:34:50,345
I wanna be a ho. How do I apply?
570
00:34:50,588 --> 00:34:54,684
Please, Lord Jesus, help me!
Look, look, tickets! Hey, tickets, tickets.
571
00:34:54,792 --> 00:34:56,384
-Let me go! Let me go!
-Line up with your buddy.
572
00:34:56,494 --> 00:34:57,654
Line up with your buddy.
573
00:34:57,762 --> 00:34:59,195
-You got one, sweetie.
-Can we go on the jumper?
574
00:34:59,297 --> 00:35:00,286
Yeah, yeah, you go.
575
00:35:00,398 --> 00:35:03,367
Baby, you know I love you.
I love these kids.
576
00:35:03,468 --> 00:35:05,493
It's just that
I don't think buying an orphanage
577
00:35:05,603 --> 00:35:08,697
is the right move financially right now.
That's all.
578
00:35:08,806 --> 00:35:10,865
Hey, this is not
a financial decision, Deion.
579
00:35:10,975 --> 00:35:13,341
-I thought you understood that, baby.
-No. No, I do. I do, baby.
580
00:35:13,444 --> 00:35:16,174
But this the call I was telling you...
The business call, it's very important.
581
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:18,145
Let's talk about it
when I get back to the house, okay?
582
00:35:18,249 --> 00:35:19,477
You're not going to stay?
583
00:35:19,584 --> 00:35:21,916
No, very important. Here.

584
00:35:23,321 --> 00:35:27,052
Hello? It's never a bad time for you.
585
00:35:29,694 --> 00:35:30,683
Stop it! Stop!
586
00:35:30,795 --> 00:35:32,092
Norbit!
587
00:35:32,530 --> 00:35:34,293
-Hey.
-Hi.
588
00:35:36,033 --> 00:35:37,000
Hey.
589
00:35:37,101 --> 00:35:39,797
-I didn't know you were gonna be here.
-Oh, yeah.
590
00:35:39,904 --> 00:35:42,236
Hey, you know, I just saw Deion leaving.
591
00:35:42,740 --> 00:35:45,641
He had some business to take care of.
592
00:35:46,644 --> 00:35:48,771
So, who are you here with?
593
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:51,038
My wife.
594
00:35:54,385 --> 00:35:58,082
-Norbit, I didn't know you were married.
-Yeah.
595
00:35:58,189 --> 00:36:02,216
-Well, that's wonderful. Really.
-Thank you so much.
596
00:36:02,326 --> 00:36:03,987

So, where is she?
597
00:36:05,763 --> 00:36:08,163
Right over there in the print outfit.
598
00:36:08,266 --> 00:36:11,201
The one talking to the girl by the bench?
599
00:36:11,802 --> 00:36:15,033
No, the one sucking the jelly
out of them donuts.
600
00:36:18,876 --> 00:36:21,811
Oh, yeah. She's pretty.
601
00:36:22,180 --> 00:36:24,944
That's cherry.
Is that cherry or strawberry?
602
00:36:25,049 --> 00:36:27,574
What are my kids doing? Peter! Theo!
603
00:36:27,685 --> 00:36:30,051
I don't want you bothering anyone.
604
00:36:30,922 --> 00:36:32,890
I'm so sorry, Mrs. Rice.
605
00:36:32,990 --> 00:36:35,185
Mrs. Rice?
My name ain't no damn Mrs. Rice.
606
00:36:35,293 --> 00:36:37,693
Oh, I just thought
'cause you're married to Norbit...
607
00:36:37,795 --> 00:36:38,921
Who the hell are you?
608
00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:42,090
Kate, this is my wife,
Rasputia Latimore,
609
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:43,599
and, Rasputia, this is Kate.
610
00:36:44,168 --> 00:36:46,398
-Nice to meet you.
-Hello.
611
00:36:46,504 --> 00:36:48,734
Kate's an old friend of mine
from the orphanage.
612
00:36:48,839 --> 00:36:51,569
Latimore, as in Latimore Construction?
613
00:36:51,676 --> 00:36:53,507
Yes, that's right,
as in Latimore Construction.
614
00:36:53,611 --> 00:36:54,873
That's right. Why?
615
00:36:54,979 --> 00:36:56,344
Well, just that this is perfect,
616
00:36:56,447 --> 00:36:59,939
'cause I was going to come see
you guys about a renovation of...
617
00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:01,651
I ain't come out here for that.
618
00:37:01,752 --> 00:37:04,084
I'm out here to enjoy these festivities,
not to be talking no business.
619
00:37:04,188 --> 00:37:05,678
You wanna talk business,
my brother is Big Black Jack
620
00:37:05,790 --> 00:37:06,757
over there by the BB guns.
621
00:37:06,857 --> 00:37:08,586
Go over there and talk to him.
I ain't got no time for this.
622
00:37:08,693 --> 00:37:10,456
Oh, sure, okay.
623
00:37:10,561 --> 00:37:12,290
Well, go on, get.
624
00:37:13,431 --> 00:37:15,126
-Okay.
-Okay.
625
00:37:19,470 --> 00:37:22,166
-Come here.
-What, Rasputia?
626
00:37:22,273 --> 00:37:24,741
You thinking about creeping, ain't you?
627
00:37:24,842 --> 00:37:25,934
We're just friends.
628
00:37:26,043 --> 00:37:28,739
What'd I tell you about having friends?
629
00:37:28,846 --> 00:37:30,370
Go over there
and get me another wine cooler.
630
00:37:30,481 --> 00:37:32,745
It's hot as hell out here.
Don't you see I'm sweltering?
631
00:37:32,850 --> 00:37:36,445
-Rasputia, you can't drink wine.
-Why the hell not?
632
00:37:37,788 --> 00:37:41,224
-You're with child.
-With child? I ain't with no...
633
00:37:42,927 --> 00:37:46,328
Oh, that was... I had gas. I still got it.
634
00:37:48,065 --> 00:37:51,557
There's your child.
Now, go get me something to drink.
635
00:37:59,977 --> 00:38:01,308
Twins!
636
00:38:02,513 --> 00:38:03,673
Hey! You come back here!
637
00:38:05,650 --> 00:38:07,811
-Oh, my God!
-Move your fat ass, boy.
638
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:12,150
Look, you got one!
639
00:38:14,225 --> 00:38:15,692
Get him. Get him, Big Black.
640
00:38:17,895 --> 00:38:19,829
Are you Big Black Jack?
641
00:38:20,197 --> 00:38:21,824
What it look like?
642
00:38:21,932 --> 00:38:24,298
Oh, well.
643
00:38:24,402 --> 00:38:27,530
Me and my fianc
are buying the Golden Wonton...
644
00:38:27,638 --> 00:38:30,971
Wong's place? He's selling it to you?
645
00:38:31,075 --> 00:38:33,600
Yeah. Why is that surprising?
646
00:38:33,711 --> 00:38:35,872
Miss Thomas, Miss Thomas, let's go.
They're starting the music.
647
00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:37,447
-Oh, great!
-Come on. Let's go.
648
00:38:37,548 --> 00:38:40,039
Can we finish this up later?
Apparently I have to go dance now.
649
00:38:40,151 --> 00:38:42,642
All right, baby. You go dance now.
650
00:38:43,921 --> 00:38:46,287
The orphanage is in play.
651
00:38:50,494 --> 00:38:52,121
Y'all better give me my hat.
Give me the hat!
652
00:38:52,229 --> 00:38:53,662
Here, take her hat.
653
00:38:53,864 --> 00:38:57,493
You think I won't come up in here?
I'm gonna come up in here.
654
00:39:06,744 --> 00:39:07,733
You think I'm playing?
655
00:39:07,845 --> 00:39:09,574
Give me the hat right now,
or I'm gonna tear your leg off.
656
00:39:10,748 --> 00:39:12,409
Hey, Norbit, come on!
657
00:39:12,550 --> 00:39:15,485
Oh, no. No, I can't.
Rasputia's waiting for me.
658
00:39:15,586 --> 00:39:17,918
-Come on, dance with us.
-No, really, I shouldn't...
659
00:39:18,022 --> 00:39:21,617
Don't think I won't kill a child.
I'll kill a child in front of everybody.
660
00:39:21,726 --> 00:39:23,626
Little street urchins.
661
00:39:25,629 --> 00:39:29,087
Okay. That's it.
Now it's time to bring the pain.
662
00:39:36,173 --> 00:39:38,664
Dance, Norbit, dance! Come on!
663
00:39:43,447 --> 00:39:44,573
My hat!
664
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:50,878
It's raining little white women.
665
00:39:50,988 --> 00:39:52,888
My prayers have been answered!
666
00:39:52,990 --> 00:39:56,050
She'd better move,
'cause my prayer is for a Cadillac.
667
00:40:06,737 --> 00:40:08,534
You little bastards.
668
00:40:11,742 --> 00:40:14,540
Where the hell is Norbit
with that wine cooler?
669
00:40:14,645 --> 00:40:16,442
I'm thirsty as hell.
670
00:40:25,956 --> 00:40:27,446
Oh, hell, no.

671
00:40:29,527 --> 00:40:31,119
Oh, he's lost his mind.
672
00:40:33,731 --> 00:40:35,221
Bitch, that's my wine cooler!
673
00:40:35,332 --> 00:40:38,529
It's my birthday! It's my birthday!
674
00:40:38,636 --> 00:40:40,831
It's your birthday?
You think it's your birthday, huh?
675
00:40:40,938 --> 00:40:43,372
Norbit's got moves, everybody! Yeah!
676
00:40:43,507 --> 00:40:45,873
You got him loose, don't you,
you little skinny bitch?
677
00:40:45,976 --> 00:40:49,139
I see what you trying to do.
I see just what you trying to do.
678
00:40:49,246 --> 00:40:53,012
Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit!
Come on, everybody!
679
00:40:53,117 --> 00:40:54,106
Go, Norbit!
680
00:40:54,218 --> 00:40:57,085
Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit!
681
00:40:57,188 --> 00:40:59,122
Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit!
682
00:40:59,223 --> 00:41:01,987
Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit! Go...
683
00:41:02,092 --> 00:41:03,150

Norbit!
684
00:41:11,135 --> 00:41:13,535
Crooked employees?
Unlicensed doctors?
685
00:41:13,637 --> 00:41:15,229
Lipstick on your husband's collar?
686
00:41:15,339 --> 00:41:17,000
Find out who you're really dealing with.
687
00:41:17,107 --> 00:41:19,632
Send $29.95
to Background Checks by Mail,
688
00:41:19,743 --> 00:41:22,075
P.O. Box 119, Locust Falls.
689
00:41:22,179 --> 00:41:23,441
Hey, buddy partner.
690
00:41:23,547 --> 00:41:27,449
Hi, Kate. Hi, nice to see you.
How you doing?
691
00:41:27,952 --> 00:41:30,614
I'm good, but how about you
and your head?
692
00:41:30,721 --> 00:41:32,484
Oh, I'm doing better.
693
00:41:32,590 --> 00:41:37,084
The doctor said if it weren't for
my hard Afro, it could have killed me.
694
00:41:41,665 --> 00:41:45,226
Are you sure you're okay, Norbit?
That sounds kind of fast.
695
00:41:45,336 --> 00:41:49,602
Oh, well, they're doing some tests.

They're kind of monitoring me.
696
00:41:51,575 --> 00:41:54,203
Well, I don't know about this stuff,
but 110 beats per minute,
697
00:41:54,311 --> 00:41:57,280
that's kind of high. 120...
698
00:41:57,681 --> 00:41:59,808
Oh, my goodness, 130!
699
00:41:59,917 --> 00:42:03,353
Yeah, maybe the machine's broke.
I'm just gonna take these off.
700
00:42:15,733 --> 00:42:16,791
You Deion Hughes?
701
00:42:16,901 --> 00:42:18,266
Who's asking?
702
00:42:18,869 --> 00:42:20,359
We the Latimores.
703
00:42:20,471 --> 00:42:22,632
Yeah. Latimore Construction.
704
00:42:22,740 --> 00:42:24,401
And we run this town.
705
00:42:24,508 --> 00:42:27,807
Your woman was telling us how y'all
was planning on buying the orphanage.
706
00:42:27,912 --> 00:42:29,709
Kate has her plans and I have mine.
707
00:42:29,813 --> 00:42:32,247
Well, it looks like the only plans you got,
my man, is leaving.
708
00:42:32,349 --> 00:42:34,180
I ain't sticking around
raising no damn orphans.
709
00:42:34,285 --> 00:42:36,617
I got kids of my own
I ain't even bringing up.
710
00:42:36,720 --> 00:42:38,415
So, you was just hustling her?
711
00:42:38,522 --> 00:42:41,753
Break it to her gentle for me,
would you? I'm out!
712
00:42:42,526 --> 00:42:45,893
Hold up, player.
I think you missing the flow here.
713
00:42:46,397 --> 00:42:48,865
That orphanage she buying,
that's a huge property,
714
00:42:48,966 --> 00:42:51,025
outside of town, zoned commercial.
715
00:42:51,135 --> 00:42:52,602
Even got a liquor license.
716
00:42:52,703 --> 00:42:54,136
Interesting.
717
00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:56,433
It's a perfect place for a titty bar.
718
00:42:57,241 --> 00:42:59,106
-Did you say "titty bar"?
-Titties.
719
00:42:59,209 --> 00:43:00,642
We got it all worked out.
720
00:43:00,744 --> 00:43:03,304

We gonna call it Nipplopolis.
721
00:43:03,614 --> 00:43:04,979
Nipplopolis.
722
00:43:05,516 --> 00:43:07,575
Shit got a ring to it, don't it?
723
00:43:07,785 --> 00:43:10,515
We talking about overpriced,
watered-down alcohol
724
00:43:10,621 --> 00:43:13,522
and fake tig old bitties in abundance.
725
00:43:13,724 --> 00:43:15,316
Ain't gonna be nothing but tax-free,
726
00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:17,417
under-the-table, pure cash money.
Big time!
727
00:43:17,528 --> 00:43:18,495
That's right.
728
00:43:18,596 --> 00:43:22,896
All you got to do is swing us the deal
and we make you partner.
729
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:24,262
And what about Kate?
730
00:43:24,368 --> 00:43:27,895
If you marry her,
it's as much yours as hers.
731
00:43:28,806 --> 00:43:33,436
Norbit, I really want you
to be a part of the orphanage.
732
00:43:33,544 --> 00:43:35,808
The kids are crazy about you.
733
00:43:35,913 --> 00:43:37,938
-They're good kids.
-Yeah.
734
00:43:38,048 --> 00:43:41,609
You know, I'm gonna take them
bike riding tomorrow, down by the lake.
735
00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:43,653
Why don't you come?
736
00:43:43,854 --> 00:43:46,846
I don't know if I could go for a bike ride.
737
00:43:47,057 --> 00:43:50,083
I never... I didn't really know how, the...
738
00:43:50,194 --> 00:43:53,459
I can't ride a bike still.
739
00:43:54,164 --> 00:43:56,394
You never learned? What?
740
00:43:56,500 --> 00:43:58,525
Well, you left, you know,
741
00:43:58,636 --> 00:44:00,160
and there was nobody
there to teach me.
742
00:44:00,270 --> 00:44:02,204
And Wong don't ride.
743
00:44:02,740 --> 00:44:05,766
Okay, we'll do something else.
The water park.
744
00:44:05,876 --> 00:44:07,639
The kids have been begging me
to take them there.
745
00:44:07,745 --> 00:44:09,440

Oh, I don't know about the water park.
746
00:44:09,546 --> 00:44:11,776
Come on, it's a Saturday.
You don't have to work.
747
00:44:11,882 --> 00:44:15,283
Yeah, I know, but it's the park
and it's watery,
748
00:44:15,386 --> 00:44:21,018
and there's a potential hell to pay
if I were to be there maybe...
749
00:44:21,892 --> 00:44:24,520
Hey, what are you doing
with those things, Kate?
750
00:44:24,628 --> 00:44:27,722
Well, I'm just going to have to shock you
till you say yes.
751
00:44:27,831 --> 00:44:29,696
Hey, come on, Kate.
Don't play with those.
752
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:32,462
-Those things are plugged in. It's hot.
-Clear.
753
00:44:32,569 --> 00:44:34,935
No, no clear. No clear. Stop, Kate.
Stop, Kate.
754
00:44:35,039 --> 00:44:36,734
Come on. Yes.
755
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:40,105
-Yes, yes, yes.
-Yes, yes, yes, yes! Okay, stop. Nurse!
756
00:44:52,723 --> 00:44:57,524
Oh, my God, Deion. This is beautiful.
I didn't even know you could cook.

757
00:44:57,728 --> 00:45:00,856
I just wanted to do something special
for you, you know, from the heart.
758
00:45:00,964 --> 00:45:02,898
Well, I am feeling it.
759
00:45:04,902 --> 00:45:08,895
Let's do it. Let's get married, right away.
I don't wanna wait.
760
00:45:10,474 --> 00:45:13,068
-Deion.
-Church is free on Saturday.
761
00:45:15,212 --> 00:45:16,804
You're serious?
762
00:45:16,914 --> 00:45:20,042
-Baby, we belong together.
-Yeah.
763
00:45:20,517 --> 00:45:23,384
-I want to. Saturday.
-Yeah. Yes!
764
00:45:24,988 --> 00:45:28,219
-Thank you.
-Oh, no, thank you.
765
00:45:47,778 --> 00:45:48,802
Norbit!
766
00:45:48,912 --> 00:45:51,813
Hi. Hey. Good morning, Rasputia.
767
00:45:51,915 --> 00:45:54,611
Good morning.
How are you this morning?
768
00:45:54,718 --> 00:45:56,413
Where the hell you going?

769
00:45:58,422 --> 00:46:01,653
Nowhere special.
I was just gonna go out to...
770
00:46:01,759 --> 00:46:05,195
-I was just going over to Raging Waters.
-Raging Waters?
771
00:46:05,295 --> 00:46:09,322
Yes. It's this thing
I got roped into, darling.
772
00:46:09,433 --> 00:46:12,925
You know, I was at this orphanage
when I was raised, and...
773
00:46:13,036 --> 00:46:14,162
And the people from the orphanage
774
00:46:14,271 --> 00:46:16,296
and now they're taking other orphans
to Raging Waters
775
00:46:16,406 --> 00:46:18,499
so they asked me to come
and give back to the community,
776
00:46:18,609 --> 00:46:21,134
so I'm trying to, you know, do my part.
777
00:46:21,245 --> 00:46:24,009
Little Miss Skinny Bitch gonna be there?
778
00:46:24,515 --> 00:46:26,278
You mean Miss Ling Ling?
779
00:46:26,383 --> 00:46:28,476
You know damn well
I ain't talking about no Miss Ling Ling.
780
00:46:28,585 --> 00:46:30,883
I'm talking about Miss Thing Thing

from that picnic.
781
00:46:30,988 --> 00:46:32,478
Miss Thing Thing from the picnic?
782
00:46:32,589 --> 00:46:34,682
Who are you talking about, sweetheart?
I don't even...
783
00:46:34,792 --> 00:46:39,024
Wait, I think I remember now.
A girl, she had the foreign name.
784
00:46:44,001 --> 00:46:46,697
-Something Russian.
-Kate, bitch!
785
00:46:46,804 --> 00:46:49,932
Kate! Of course it's Kate. Yes,
I don't know if Kate's gonna be there.
786
00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:52,804
I hadn't even thought about it.
It didn't even cross my mind.
787
00:46:52,910 --> 00:46:56,175
I wonder, will Kate be there?
Damn good question.
788
00:46:56,747 --> 00:46:58,180
Well, I'm going.
789
00:46:58,282 --> 00:46:59,442
No!
790
00:47:00,150 --> 00:47:00,984
You don't like water parks,
Rasputia. No.
791
00:47:00,984 --> 00:47:02,781
You don't like water parks,
Rasputia. No.
792
00:47:02,886 --> 00:47:05,878
Who don't like water parks? I love them.
They're just like amusement parks,
793
00:47:05,989 --> 00:47:08,116
except you ain't got to get off the ride
to go to the bathroom.
794
00:47:08,225 --> 00:47:09,522
How you doing?
795
00:47:12,429 --> 00:47:13,453
Great.
796
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:17,895
There you go. Have fun.
797
00:47:18,001 --> 00:47:20,936
There you go, Brian.
Nick, there's one for you.
798
00:47:22,673 --> 00:47:26,165
All right, kids, everybody please be nice
to Mrs. Latimore, okay?
799
00:47:26,276 --> 00:47:28,676
-Okay.
-Okay.
800
00:47:29,046 --> 00:47:32,880
Kate, I hope you don't mind.
I asked Rasputia to join us.
801
00:47:32,983 --> 00:47:36,146
Of course not.
I'm really glad you could come.
802
00:47:36,787 --> 00:47:40,052
Well, are we gonna stand around here
all day or we gonna go inside?
803
00:47:40,157 --> 00:47:41,317
Excuse me.
804
00:47:43,227 --> 00:47:45,024
Excuse me, ma'am.
805
00:47:45,662 --> 00:47:46,993
What?
806
00:47:48,565 --> 00:47:50,624
Are you wearing bottoms?
807
00:47:50,734 --> 00:47:53,134
Of course I'm wearing bottoms!
808
00:47:54,404 --> 00:47:56,429
Okay. Come on in.
809
00:47:56,540 --> 00:47:58,599
How dare you?
810
00:48:04,214 --> 00:48:06,182
Oh, hell, no.
811
00:48:14,358 --> 00:48:16,952
How you doing!
812
00:48:22,366 --> 00:48:23,492
This ain't like no real beach,
813
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:26,569
'cause on a real beach you got people
walking around with ice chests
814
00:48:26,670 --> 00:48:30,071
and you can get all kinds of treats
like sandwiches and potato chips
815
00:48:30,173 --> 00:48:33,836
and Mentos and Skittles
and all sorts of delectables.
816
00:48:33,944 --> 00:48:35,673
You can't get shit here!
817
00:48:35,779 --> 00:48:38,805
Well, you know,
there's a concession stand.
818
00:48:38,916 --> 00:48:40,213
You going?
819
00:48:40,918 --> 00:48:42,408
No, I already ate.
820
00:48:42,519 --> 00:48:44,714
Well, you could have fooled me.
821
00:48:44,821 --> 00:48:45,879
I'm sorry?
822
00:48:45,989 --> 00:48:49,015
I'm just trying to say
you too damn skinny. Look at you.
823
00:48:49,126 --> 00:48:52,118
See, most men like a woman
that got a little... Or a little...
824
00:48:52,229 --> 00:48:53,992
You ain't got nothing.
You just skin and bones,
825
00:48:54,097 --> 00:48:56,463
just sitting in that chair
all bones and skin.
826
00:48:56,566 --> 00:48:58,124
I feel sorry for you.
827
00:48:58,235 --> 00:49:01,671
Well, I just feel that we're all made
exactly the way we're supposed to be.
828
00:49:01,772 --> 00:49:03,137
Oh, no. Hell, no. I'm a Christian,
829
00:49:03,240 --> 00:49:06,698
and you ain't gonna sit there
and blame God for how you look, okay?
830
00:49:06,810 --> 00:49:08,641
You the one that
pushed that plate away.
831
00:49:08,745 --> 00:49:10,940
My Norbit is always telling me
there's two kinds of women,
832
00:49:11,048 --> 00:49:13,676
big old good ones
and good old big ones.
833
00:49:14,284 --> 00:49:15,273
Really?
834
00:49:15,385 --> 00:49:17,683
That's right. And, sister, let me tell you,
just between the two of us,
835
00:49:17,788 --> 00:49:18,880
I can't keep Norbit off me.
836
00:49:18,989 --> 00:49:20,752
He is the biggest freak
you ever wanna meet
837
00:49:20,857 --> 00:49:22,381
and he be blowing my back out,
838
00:49:22,492 --> 00:49:24,756
trying to put me
through the headboard every night.
839
00:49:24,861 --> 00:49:26,453
I'm thinking about
going on a little diet or something
840
00:49:26,563 --> 00:49:28,258
so I can get
all emaciated-looking like you,

841
00:49:28,365 --> 00:49:29,696
then he'll think I look disgusting
842
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:31,768
and I can get a rest
or some sleep for a little while,
843
00:49:31,868 --> 00:49:35,326
because he want it all the time.
Just boom, bam, boom, boom, boom.
844
00:49:35,439 --> 00:49:37,873
But I ain't mad at him, hey.
845
00:49:37,975 --> 00:49:39,840
I'm gonna go on a diet for sure,
next week.
846
00:49:39,943 --> 00:49:42,605
Right now I'm gonna get me
a lamb kabob and a wine cooler.
847
00:49:42,713 --> 00:49:45,978
How you doing?
Where is that wine cooler section?
848
00:49:46,917 --> 00:49:50,409
Miss Thomas, we're all going off
the Leap of Doom. Come on.
849
00:49:50,587 --> 00:49:52,953
Slowly. Slowly.
Someone's gonna fall down.
850
00:49:53,056 --> 00:49:55,684
You're gonna break your head in half
in a second. Slow down!
851
00:49:55,792 --> 00:49:57,020
Wait for me!
852
00:49:57,127 --> 00:50:01,757

I tell you, it sure is tiring chasing these
kids all around the water park, isn't it?
853
00:50:01,865 --> 00:50:04,163
Especially for us skinny folk.
854
00:50:04,267 --> 00:50:05,757
What?
855
00:50:05,869 --> 00:50:07,632
Never mind.
856
00:50:09,306 --> 00:50:12,469
So, Norbit, I have some news.
857
00:50:13,477 --> 00:50:16,105
Deion and I
decided to move up the wedding.
858
00:50:16,713 --> 00:50:17,873
What wedding?
859
00:50:17,981 --> 00:50:19,608
Our wedding.
860
00:50:19,916 --> 00:50:22,680
We're going to get married on Saturday.
861
00:50:24,388 --> 00:50:25,912
You're getting married on Saturday?
862
00:50:26,023 --> 00:50:29,390
Yeah, we just figured, "Why wait?"
You know?
863
00:50:33,497 --> 00:50:37,763
Well... Congratulations, then.
864
00:50:38,468 --> 00:50:39,492
Thanks.
865
00:50:39,603 --> 00:50:41,195

-Yeah.
-I'm really happy.
866
00:50:41,304 --> 00:50:43,670
Oh, so am I. It's wonderful.
867
00:50:45,976 --> 00:50:48,171
So, there it is, the Leap of Doom.
868
00:50:48,278 --> 00:50:50,473
Yeah, go and have fun.
I'll wait for you at the bottom.
869
00:50:50,580 --> 00:50:51,547
You go have some fun.
870
00:50:51,648 --> 00:50:53,309
-Okay.
-Okay.
871
00:50:56,853 --> 00:50:59,185
Okay, kids, one at a time.
872
00:51:02,893 --> 00:51:04,724
I guess this is me.
873
00:51:08,198 --> 00:51:10,530
What are you looking at, Norbit?
874
00:51:11,368 --> 00:51:16,328
I was just watching the... Some kids.
They're about to come down the slide.
875
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:18,772
I wanted to watch
the kids come down safely.
876
00:51:19,042 --> 00:51:20,634
-Kids, huh?
-Yeah.
877
00:51:20,977 --> 00:51:23,537
So, you wanna watch a bitch

come down a slide?
878
00:51:23,647 --> 00:51:26,081
Well, I'm gonna show you
how a bitch come down a slide.
879
00:51:26,183 --> 00:51:27,741
Oh, no...
880
00:51:33,957 --> 00:51:38,223
Excuse me, ma'am?
We have a 300-pound weight limit.
881
00:51:42,132 --> 00:51:46,796
I don't weigh no damn 300 pounds.
I weigh 165. How you doing?
882
00:51:48,738 --> 00:51:50,603
That was awesome.
883
00:51:55,545 --> 00:51:57,137
What's that?
884
00:52:00,584 --> 00:52:02,108
It's Rasputia.
885
00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:06,018
I'm gonna show you
how a bitch go down a slide.
886
00:52:20,203 --> 00:52:22,103
I'm sliding, bitches!
887
00:52:27,244 --> 00:52:28,939
Mary, Mother of God.
888
00:52:29,513 --> 00:52:31,276
Slow down! Stop! Stop!
889
00:52:48,331 --> 00:52:50,356
How you doing?
890
00:52:57,641 --> 00:52:59,700
Why does she have to go
and get married, Lloyd?
891
00:52:59,809 --> 00:53:01,800
Things were going so well.
892
00:53:05,015 --> 00:53:06,482
There it is.
893
00:53:07,884 --> 00:53:11,183
Hey. Sorry about the concussion.
894
00:53:12,222 --> 00:53:13,553
-It's okay.
-And the whiplash.
895
00:53:13,657 --> 00:53:16,319
-It's okay.
-And the bruised stomach.
896
00:53:17,127 --> 00:53:18,594
And the blood clot.
897
00:53:21,164 --> 00:53:22,529
Nothing.
898
00:53:26,236 --> 00:53:28,397
You know damn well that's your baby.
899
00:53:28,505 --> 00:53:32,532
You know it's yours. Got the same chin.
The same lip.
900
00:53:32,642 --> 00:53:35,509
That baby got the same head as you
and the same eye...
901
00:53:35,612 --> 00:53:37,978
Go take the test. Take the test.
902
00:53:38,081 --> 00:53:39,605
You want to hear the test results?

903
00:53:39,716 --> 00:53:41,183
In the case of the little baby...
904
00:53:41,284 --> 00:53:43,309
Well, the test says that is your baby.
905
00:53:43,420 --> 00:53:44,751
How you doing?
906
00:53:47,257 --> 00:53:49,122
Latimore Construction, Norbit speaking.
907
00:53:49,226 --> 00:53:50,818
Hey, Norbit, it's Kate.
908
00:53:50,927 --> 00:53:53,327
Is there any way you can meet me
in town right now?
909
00:53:53,430 --> 00:53:54,590
Yeah, sure.
910
00:53:54,731 --> 00:53:56,028
Great. I'm at McCormick's.
911
00:53:56,132 --> 00:53:57,759
Okay. Fine.
912
00:54:03,607 --> 00:54:07,441
Rasputia, I'm just loaded up
with paperwork up to my ear.
913
00:54:07,544 --> 00:54:10,707
I was wondering, could you run
these permits downtown for me?
914
00:54:10,814 --> 00:54:13,044
Now you tell me
what in the hell I look like,
915
00:54:13,149 --> 00:54:16,414

running some goddamn permits
down to City Hall for your ass.
916
00:54:16,519 --> 00:54:17,621
You do it.
917
00:54:17,621 --> 00:54:17,916
You do it.
918
00:54:18,755 --> 00:54:19,915
Okay.
919
00:54:21,324 --> 00:54:23,189
-What's the surprise?
-No, I'm not telling you.
920
00:54:23,293 --> 00:54:25,921
Tell me. Hey, no, what are you doing?
921
00:54:26,029 --> 00:54:27,724
-Not till the last second.
-What? What?
922
00:54:27,831 --> 00:54:30,425
-You ready?
-Yeah, what is it?
923
00:54:31,801 --> 00:54:33,962
I know you don't think
I'm gonna get on that thing.
924
00:54:34,070 --> 00:54:36,300
-I think you're gonna get on that.
-Hey, no way. Hey.
925
00:54:36,406 --> 00:54:39,102
Come on! Look where you wanna go.
You're doing great.
926
00:54:39,209 --> 00:54:43,009
You got it? You got it? You got it?
927
00:54:43,113 --> 00:54:45,206

Watch out for the fence!
928
00:54:47,350 --> 00:54:48,681
And the mailbox.
929
00:54:50,353 --> 00:54:53,379
Rasputia, the painters from
the Crestview site got food poisoning.
930
00:54:53,490 --> 00:54:55,390
There's vomit everywhere!
931
00:54:55,492 --> 00:54:58,290
You know damn well
you clean up all the vomit. You do it!
932
00:54:58,395 --> 00:55:01,421
-I don't feel safe.
-Yeah! You're doing great!
933
00:55:04,534 --> 00:55:05,762
Yeah.
934
00:55:08,438 --> 00:55:11,532
The Portosans at Drummond's
tipped over!
935
00:55:11,641 --> 00:55:13,541
Well, go clean the shit up!
936
00:55:25,155 --> 00:55:26,520
Rasputia?
937
00:55:41,071 --> 00:55:42,402
You do it!
938
00:55:43,873 --> 00:55:45,534
-I got it!
-Go!
939
00:55:45,642 --> 00:55:48,770
I'm getting it! I'm doing it!
940
00:55:48,878 --> 00:55:50,277
You're doing it! Yeah, but slow down!
941
00:55:50,380 --> 00:55:53,372
-How?
-With the brakes! The brakes!
942
00:55:58,888 --> 00:56:00,378
Oh, no. Are you okay?
943
00:56:00,490 --> 00:56:03,584
Yeah. Actually, that was kind of fun.
944
00:56:04,961 --> 00:56:07,623
-Come on.
-Okay, help me.
945
00:56:07,731 --> 00:56:09,858
-Okay?
-Yeah, yeah.
946
00:56:12,702 --> 00:56:16,536
So, I'm going to Giovanni's tonight
to choose the food for the reception.
947
00:56:16,639 --> 00:56:19,608
You wanna come? Help me decide?
948
00:56:19,709 --> 00:56:21,506
What about Deion?
949
00:56:22,679 --> 00:56:25,113
I just don't trust him with food.
950
00:56:25,215 --> 00:56:27,615
You know,
he made dinner for us the other night.
951
00:56:27,717 --> 00:56:29,912
It tasted like cheap take-out.
952
00:56:34,391 --> 00:56:35,688

-Well, I'll go.
-Good.
953
00:56:35,792 --> 00:56:39,694
Well, I just have to go get my dress,
and then we can meet, say, at 7:00?
954
00:56:39,829 --> 00:56:41,057
Okay, that's great.
955
00:56:41,164 --> 00:56:43,962
-Perfect, Norbit.
-Okay, see you at 7:00.
956
00:56:45,635 --> 00:56:46,659
Norbit!
957
00:56:46,770 --> 00:56:48,260
All right. Yeah, Norby.
958
00:56:48,371 --> 00:56:50,305
7:00, don't be late.
959
00:56:50,974 --> 00:56:53,238
You guys are all pervs.
960
00:56:55,445 --> 00:56:56,810
I love it.
961
00:56:58,815 --> 00:57:00,112
What's wrong?
962
00:57:00,617 --> 00:57:02,744
Are you sure we're not rushing things?
963
00:57:02,852 --> 00:57:07,050
I know we're not. I know we're not.
I couldn't be happier.
964
00:57:09,192 --> 00:57:10,853
Norbit, that's a date.
965
00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:13,292
No, it's not. She just wants someone...
966
00:57:13,396 --> 00:57:16,194
Are you paying for this encounter
this evening?
967
00:57:16,299 --> 00:57:17,288
Of course not!
968
00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:21,131
Then that's a date.
Don't be trying to tell a pimp his game.
969
00:57:22,172 --> 00:57:23,764
Come on, baby.
970
00:57:26,509 --> 00:57:28,136
-Thank you.
-Carmen, honey!
971
00:57:28,244 --> 00:57:29,711
All right.
972
00:57:32,081 --> 00:57:34,242
Well, who are you getting all fine for?
973
00:57:34,350 --> 00:57:37,217
Hello, Rasputia. Well, that's nice.
974
00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:39,254
Oh, yeah, right.
Why you trying to look all extra today?
975
00:57:39,355 --> 00:57:42,882
Oh, I'm just, you know, being a girl.
976
00:57:45,662 --> 00:57:48,688
My fianc likes it
when I take care of myself.
977
00:57:48,798 --> 00:57:50,823
Look to me like
that fish already in his net.
978
00:57:50,934 --> 00:57:53,164
You look like
you fixing to catch you a new fish.
979
00:57:53,269 --> 00:57:57,103
What? No. God. Don't be silly.
980
00:57:58,041 --> 00:58:00,271
You're married. You're here.
981
00:58:00,376 --> 00:58:01,934
I don't do this for my husband.
982
00:58:02,045 --> 00:58:04,707
Girl, I do this
because I have a reputation to uphold.
983
00:58:04,814 --> 00:58:08,841
Everybody in this town know that
Rasputia Latimore is fine. Ain't I fine?
984
00:58:08,952 --> 00:58:10,886
-You fine, girl! You are fine.
-Sister!
985
00:58:10,987 --> 00:58:12,181
Everybody knows.
986
00:58:12,288 --> 00:58:15,223
But even a delicate flower like me
need a little water from time to time.
987
00:58:15,325 --> 00:58:17,691
Or a little lye in her kitchen
to help straighten out them petals.
988
00:58:17,794 --> 00:58:19,022
How you doing?
989
00:58:19,128 --> 00:58:20,356
Rasputia.
990
00:58:20,463 --> 00:58:22,431
Helga waiting on you, girl,
to do your bikini wax.
991
00:58:22,532 --> 00:58:23,760
Here I come, girl.
992
00:58:23,867 --> 00:58:27,132
I got to go, girl. Every now and then
I got to mow the lawn.
993
00:58:27,270 --> 00:58:31,036
You just make sure
all that sprucing up is for your fianc.
994
00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:36,206
Helga, here I come, girl.
It's a full moon, too.
995
00:58:40,083 --> 00:58:41,880
Here we go, dear.
996
00:58:48,858 --> 00:58:51,418
I was looking for Norbit's police whistle.
997
00:58:51,794 --> 00:58:52,886
Go fish.
998
00:58:53,663 --> 00:58:54,630
What's up?
999
00:58:54,731 --> 00:58:56,665
Everything on schedule
with the wedding?
1000
00:58:56,766 --> 00:58:58,757
I got my own problems, but I'll handle it.
1001
00:58:58,868 --> 00:59:00,563
What's this situation
you're talking about?
1002
00:59:00,670 --> 00:59:02,638
The liquor license on the orphanage.
1003
00:59:02,739 --> 00:59:05,606
It won't roll over
when the property changes hands,
1004
00:59:05,708 --> 00:59:08,040
not without one of
these transfer requests upfront.
1005
00:59:08,144 --> 00:59:10,476
Yeah, and getting a new license
could take years.
1006
00:59:10,580 --> 00:59:13,276
Yeah, we'd be out of business
before we get started.
1007
00:59:13,383 --> 00:59:15,044
You think you can get Kate to sign that?
1008
00:59:15,151 --> 00:59:17,813
Hell, no. She's planning on
closing the restaurant.
1009
00:59:17,921 --> 00:59:19,548
It'd raise too many suspicions.
1010
00:59:19,656 --> 00:59:21,851
All right, smart-ass,
then what we gonna do now?
1011
00:59:21,958 --> 00:59:24,392
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
1012
00:59:27,897 --> 00:59:28,886
Norbit.
1013
00:59:31,167 --> 00:59:33,567
-Where you going, Norbit?
-Sit your punk ass down.

1014
00:59:33,670 --> 00:59:37,766
Guys, I told Rasputia
the toilet needed to be reinforced
1015
00:59:37,874 --> 00:59:39,466
and she said
that I should take care of it,
1016
00:59:39,576 --> 00:59:40,770
so I'm gonna go take care of that.
1017
00:59:40,877 --> 00:59:41,935
Forget that.
1018
00:59:42,045 --> 00:59:43,706
I can't. No, guys,
it's an accident waiting to happen.
1019
00:59:43,813 --> 00:59:45,781
-I have to deal with it.
-I said forget that.
1020
00:59:45,882 --> 00:59:47,474
We need you to
get these papers signed tonight.
1021
00:59:47,584 --> 00:59:48,573
Oh, no. I can't do it tonight, guys.
1022
00:59:48,685 --> 00:59:50,744
There's an accident waiting to happen.
I have to deal with this...
1023
00:59:50,853 --> 00:59:53,481
Norbit, if you don't
get these papers signed tonight,
1024
00:59:53,590 --> 00:59:55,353
we can't start
the remodel on the orphanage.
1025
00:59:55,458 --> 00:59:56,482

That's right, punk ass.
1026
00:59:56,593 --> 00:59:59,153
Bullshit. I'm going for mine tonight.
I got things to do!
1027
00:59:59,262 --> 01:00:01,321
Norbit, you better find that Kate Thomas
1028
01:00:01,431 --> 01:00:02,796
and get her to sign.
1029
01:00:02,899 --> 01:00:04,059
Yeah.
1030
01:00:05,568 --> 01:00:07,160
Kate Thomas?
1031
01:00:07,270 --> 01:00:08,965
You want me to get these papers
to Kate Thomas?
1032
01:00:09,072 --> 01:00:10,266
Yeah.
1033
01:00:10,673 --> 01:00:11,662
Okay, that's more important.
1034
01:00:11,774 --> 01:00:13,969
I'll take care of this for you guys.
I'll get these to Kate Thomas.
1035
01:00:14,077 --> 01:00:16,602
-That's what I told you to do.
-Get your punk ass up.
1036
01:00:16,713 --> 01:00:17,975
Okay, I'm gonna go take these to Kate
1037
01:00:18,081 --> 01:00:20,106
and take my punk ass to Kate Thomas
right now.
1038
01:00:20,216 --> 01:00:22,081
Excuse me, pardon me.
Let me get through here. Thank you.
1039
01:00:22,185 --> 01:00:24,676
-Excuse me. Going through. Hi.
-Bitch ass.
1040
01:00:24,787 --> 01:00:27,381
Yes, I am a bitch ass. Excuse me.
Kate Thomas.
1041
01:00:30,126 --> 01:00:32,026
Hey, sorry I'm late.
1042
01:00:32,261 --> 01:00:34,695
Man, it's time for
a pimpalicious makeover. Let's do this.
1043
01:00:34,797 --> 01:00:37,288
All right. But nothing too flashy now.
I wanna be flashy, but not...
1044
01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:39,391
Class. I don't want no....
1045
01:00:48,778 --> 01:00:50,609
Now, that's pimping.
1046
01:00:53,149 --> 01:00:55,208
All right, hair's bigger.
1047
01:01:14,137 --> 01:01:19,700
Okay. Well, I guess this is it, guys.
Thanks a lot for all your help.
1048
01:01:20,076 --> 01:01:21,634
Thanks for making me fly.
1049
01:01:21,744 --> 01:01:23,939
You fly like a flock of birds, baby.
1050
01:01:24,313 --> 01:01:26,645
-You look good.
-Thanks, guys.
1051
01:01:26,749 --> 01:01:30,446
-Handle this business for us, brother.
-I'm gonna handle it. Gonna handle it.
1052
01:01:30,653 --> 01:01:32,416
-Do the walk, Norbit.
-I got you.
1053
01:01:32,522 --> 01:01:34,513
Yeah. Norbit!
1054
01:01:42,899 --> 01:01:44,389
Wow, Norbit!
1055
01:01:46,402 --> 01:01:48,165
I just picked these
on the side of the road,
1056
01:01:48,271 --> 01:01:50,899
'cause this is just a casual get-together.
1057
01:01:51,007 --> 01:01:54,943
Sure. And you put the wires
up the stems, too. That's a nice touch.
1058
01:01:55,745 --> 01:01:57,610
-Norbit!
-Hey, Sam.
1059
01:01:59,982 --> 01:02:02,382
You dressed to kill, huh?
1060
01:02:02,485 --> 01:02:05,454
Katerina, you look beautiful.
Come sit, please.
1061
01:02:08,224 --> 01:02:10,715
I'm making my specialty just for you.
1062
01:02:10,827 --> 01:02:13,091
Hey. Did you make my favorite?
1063
01:02:13,196 --> 01:02:14,993
What do you think, huh?
1064
01:02:15,765 --> 01:02:18,893
I'm gonna take the flowers,
put them into water, okay?
1065
01:02:19,402 --> 01:02:20,926
He's a nice man.
1066
01:02:23,239 --> 01:02:24,331
Your favorite?
1067
01:02:24,440 --> 01:02:26,806
I guess you and Rasputia
come here a lot, huh?
1068
01:02:26,909 --> 01:02:29,605
Oh, no. We used to,
but she got banned for life
1069
01:02:29,712 --> 01:02:31,771
because Sam had
an all-you-can-eat buffet once
1070
01:02:31,881 --> 01:02:35,874
and she took it as a personal challenge,
and it got pretty ugly.
1071
01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:38,519
I wanna make a toast.
1072
01:02:38,621 --> 01:02:39,918
Oh, sure.
1073
01:02:42,325 --> 01:02:44,657
To old friends.
1074
01:02:44,761 --> 01:02:46,729
To old friends.
1075
01:02:48,498 --> 01:02:52,025
We were buddy partners, all right,
Norbit. We were.
1076
01:02:54,103 --> 01:02:57,038
I tell you, you know,
1077
01:02:57,140 --> 01:03:01,440
sometimes I think
I should've never married Rasputia.
1078
01:03:01,911 --> 01:03:03,708
What do you mean, Norbit?
1079
01:03:03,813 --> 01:03:07,078
I was just really young, you know,
and she latched on to me
1080
01:03:07,183 --> 01:03:11,449
and kind of helped me fit in
and gave me a family, so...
1081
01:03:13,723 --> 01:03:15,054
We had nobody, Norbit.
1082
01:03:15,158 --> 01:03:18,616
I mean, who can blame us
for wanting to feel safe, you know?
1083
01:03:19,796 --> 01:03:21,627
Yeah, safe.
1084
01:03:22,165 --> 01:03:23,928
Like you and Deion?
1085
01:03:25,401 --> 01:03:26,527
Yeah.
1086
01:03:28,571 --> 01:03:33,440
I mean,
it's different with Deion, obviously.
1087
01:03:36,913 --> 01:03:38,608
So, what have you got here?
1088
01:03:38,714 --> 01:03:41,410
Those are just construction papers,
1089
01:03:41,517 --> 01:03:44,042
permits and stuff that you have to sign.
1090
01:03:46,289 --> 01:03:48,780
Kate, can I ask you
a personal question?
1091
01:03:48,891 --> 01:03:50,483
Sure, what?
1092
01:03:55,097 --> 01:03:56,860
Do you love Deion?
1093
01:03:58,734 --> 01:04:01,897
Of course. Yeah.
1094
01:04:04,407 --> 01:04:07,865
Otherwise,
why would I be marrying him, right?
1095
01:04:09,645 --> 01:04:10,703
Right?
1096
01:04:13,683 --> 01:04:17,244
-Got your pizza.
-It is about time.
1097
01:04:17,854 --> 01:04:20,687
I'm about to disappear up in here
I'm so hungry.
1098
01:04:20,790 --> 01:04:22,621
Norbit out draining a swamp
or something.
1099
01:04:22,725 --> 01:04:27,992

Yeah, he's definitely draining a swamp.
He's draining a swamp like he would be.
1100
01:04:32,768 --> 01:04:35,566
-Why you looking at me like that?
-Where's Norbit?
1101
01:04:36,138 --> 01:04:39,801
Draining a swamp.
And why are you looking at me like that?
1102
01:04:40,710 --> 01:04:44,510
He's out there in the woods,
draining a swamp. I told you before.
1103
01:04:46,515 --> 01:04:48,642
I don't know nothing.
1104
01:04:49,619 --> 01:04:52,247
I don't know nothing, okay?
1105
01:04:58,094 --> 01:05:01,723
He's on a date with that fine skinny girl!
1106
01:05:12,441 --> 01:05:14,602
It's pain time here! I ain't having this!
1107
01:05:15,778 --> 01:05:18,611
Oh, hell, no. And on top of that
he been messing with my seat again?
1108
01:05:18,714 --> 01:05:20,375
Damn it, Norbit!
1109
01:05:24,954 --> 01:05:26,819
He got me destroying my shit.
1110
01:05:37,300 --> 01:05:38,597
This is it.
1111
01:05:38,701 --> 01:05:40,760
It's always so beautiful in here.
1112
01:05:41,304 --> 01:05:42,828
Peaceful.
1113
01:05:43,005 --> 01:05:45,371
-Hello, Kate, Norbit.
-Hey.
1114
01:05:45,474 --> 01:05:48,875
Didn't know anybody was here.
I was getting ready to close up shop.
1115
01:05:48,978 --> 01:05:52,709
You know, Kate,
this all happened so fast,
1116
01:05:52,815 --> 01:05:56,080
I realized we never had
a chance to rehearse.
1117
01:05:56,185 --> 01:05:57,914
Oh, yeah, that's right.
1118
01:05:58,020 --> 01:05:59,112
So, come on up here.
1119
01:05:59,221 --> 01:06:01,689
Let me at least show you
where you're gonna stand.
1120
01:06:01,791 --> 01:06:03,383
-Come on.
-All right.
1121
01:06:06,662 --> 01:06:09,563
Rasputia. You know
you no allowed in here.
1122
01:06:09,665 --> 01:06:11,860
The hell with that. Where's Norbit?
1123
01:06:11,968 --> 01:06:15,233
I don't see Norbit.
Anybody is a see Norbit?

1124
01:06:15,338 --> 01:06:16,771
-No.
-He hasn't been here.
1125
01:06:16,872 --> 01:06:21,673
Then who was eating a turkey ass?
1126
01:06:23,112 --> 01:06:25,273
Run! Run! Run!
1127
01:06:26,449 --> 01:06:28,679
At which point
you'll give your vows to Deion.
1128
01:06:30,419 --> 01:06:32,649
You want to practice those?
1129
01:06:32,989 --> 01:06:37,688
Well, I hadn't actually gotten to that
quite yet.
1130
01:06:37,927 --> 01:06:40,020
You don't even know
what you're gonna say yet?
1131
01:06:41,063 --> 01:06:44,123
Well, what would you say, Norbit?
I don't know.
1132
01:06:44,633 --> 01:06:46,066
What would I say?
1133
01:06:47,803 --> 01:06:49,430
Norbit!
1134
01:06:54,910 --> 01:06:58,812
was hot like me
1135
01:06:58,914 --> 01:07:03,010
was a freak like me

1136
01:07:03,119 --> 01:07:04,086
Don't cha
1137
01:07:04,387 --> 01:07:07,015
What would I say if I was saying vows?
1138
01:07:07,156 --> 01:07:09,021
I guess...
1139
01:07:10,126 --> 01:07:11,218
Kate,
1140
01:07:12,828 --> 01:07:14,853
I think about you all day long.
1141
01:07:15,331 --> 01:07:19,495
And when I'm not near you,
1142
01:07:19,602 --> 01:07:22,435
all I think about is being near you.
1143
01:07:22,538 --> 01:07:24,233
And when you are near me,
1144
01:07:24,340 --> 01:07:27,002
I feel like I'm at peace
with the whole world.
1145
01:07:29,211 --> 01:07:31,111
I know that...
1146
01:07:32,882 --> 01:07:34,611
I know I'll never have to
ask God for anything
1147
01:07:34,717 --> 01:07:37,015
'cause, as long as I have you in my life,
1148
01:07:37,119 --> 01:07:40,520
I got everything I ever wanted.
1149
01:07:43,526 --> 01:07:46,723
And the only thing
I really wanna do is just
1150
01:07:46,829 --> 01:07:51,698
spend the rest of my life making you
as happy as you've made me.
1151
01:07:53,602 --> 01:07:55,570
Because I love you, Kate.
1152
01:07:58,908 --> 01:08:00,432
I love you.
1153
01:08:01,944 --> 01:08:03,878
I don't know. Something like that.
1154
01:08:04,380 --> 01:08:07,008
And after the vows you would then...
1155
01:08:09,018 --> 01:08:10,007
Okay.
1156
01:08:42,218 --> 01:08:43,185
Oh, my God.
1157
01:08:44,053 --> 01:08:45,918
I'm sorry, I have to go.
1158
01:08:46,755 --> 01:08:48,052
I'm sorry.
1159
01:08:56,432 --> 01:08:58,866
-Awkward.
-Yeah.
1160
01:09:05,641 --> 01:09:08,838
Give me that crowbar.
I got some killing to do.
1161
01:09:21,690 --> 01:09:22,918
Damn it!
1162
01:09:23,659 --> 01:09:27,322
I'm a Christian. You got me
up in this church cursing, Norbit.
1163
01:09:29,131 --> 01:09:31,827
Death do us part, huh? Okay, Norbit.
1164
01:09:31,934 --> 01:09:34,061
Look like you done moved up
the goddamn schedule.
1165
01:09:34,170 --> 01:09:35,728
I'm cursing again.
1166
01:09:35,971 --> 01:09:36,995
Pray, bitch, pray.
1167
01:09:37,106 --> 01:09:38,733
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
1168
01:09:38,841 --> 01:09:42,333
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
on Earth as it is in heaven.
1169
01:09:43,445 --> 01:09:45,970
Kate, please. Kate, please, I'm sorry.
1170
01:09:46,081 --> 01:09:47,275
Kate, please, stop and talk to me.
1171
01:09:47,383 --> 01:09:49,248
Please, please, Kate.
Talk to me, please.
1172
01:09:49,351 --> 01:09:51,114
I can't, Norbit.
1173
01:09:51,554 --> 01:09:53,283
I'm just too confused right now.
1174
01:09:53,389 --> 01:09:56,847
I'm sorry. It was all my fault.
I never should have kissed you.
1175
01:09:57,493 --> 01:09:58,960
No.
1176
01:10:01,797 --> 01:10:03,424
I wanted you to.
1177
01:10:05,634 --> 01:10:08,228
That's why I'm so confused.
1178
01:10:10,739 --> 01:10:12,297
Good night.
1179
01:10:23,485 --> 01:10:25,180
She wanted me to.
1180
01:10:33,729 --> 01:10:37,460
-Where the papers at, Norbit?
-Got them for you right here.
1181
01:10:43,839 --> 01:10:46,273
I'd hate to be you right now.
1182
01:10:46,809 --> 01:10:47,776
Why?
1183
01:10:48,877 --> 01:10:50,674
Go on in the house.
1184
01:10:51,313 --> 01:10:52,678
Go on in.
1185
01:10:55,851 --> 01:10:58,615
Go ahead, fool. What you waiting for?
1186
01:10:58,721 --> 01:11:00,348
Get on in.
1187
01:11:12,234 --> 01:11:14,259

Hello?
1188
01:11:17,873 --> 01:11:20,103
Chocolate drop, I'm home.
1189
01:11:22,111 --> 01:11:23,976
Lollipop?
1190
01:11:25,881 --> 01:11:27,041
Mail.
1191
01:11:33,222 --> 01:11:35,520
Expecting a letter, Norbit?
1192
01:11:36,292 --> 01:11:40,319
You frightened me.
No, I was just looking through.
1193
01:11:40,929 --> 01:11:42,726
How was your date?
1194
01:11:43,332 --> 01:11:44,594
Date?
1195
01:11:45,301 --> 01:11:49,135
That was no date. That was just...
1196
01:11:49,238 --> 01:11:53,868
I just was over at
what's-her-name's wedding rehearsal.
1197
01:11:55,778 --> 01:11:58,576
That's all. It wasn't a date, though.
1198
01:12:00,983 --> 01:12:02,382
Oh, really?
1199
01:12:20,169 --> 01:12:22,865
Lloyd. Is that you, Lloyd?
1200
01:12:23,839 --> 01:12:26,000
Lloyd, what am I gonna do?

1201
01:12:26,575 --> 01:12:28,202
Kill the bitch.
1202
01:12:28,644 --> 01:12:30,669
Excuse me? What'd you say?
1203
01:12:30,779 --> 01:12:35,443
You heard me. Rub her out.
Take her down. Ice the bitch.
1204
01:12:36,285 --> 01:12:39,345
Hey. Lloyd, you're talking.
1205
01:12:39,455 --> 01:12:43,186
She took my legs, Norbit.
She took my legs.
1206
01:12:43,292 --> 01:12:46,261
You know what it's like to be a dog
with no legs?
1207
01:12:46,362 --> 01:12:48,159
I can't raise one up to pee.
1208
01:12:48,263 --> 01:12:53,166
Hell, I can't even hump no more, Norbit.
Humping was my thing.
1209
01:12:53,268 --> 01:12:55,498
What is this, Norbit?
1210
01:12:58,807 --> 01:13:01,776
Some kind of weird, satanic potato art?
1211
01:13:03,512 --> 01:13:04,774
What's this?
1212
01:13:04,880 --> 01:13:07,440
It looks like the acid
that we use down at the quarry.
1213
01:13:07,549 --> 01:13:08,675
Right!
1214
01:13:08,784 --> 01:13:11,480
But this is
Miss Pretty Little Thang's little face.
1215
01:13:11,587 --> 01:13:15,751
And, Norbit, if you ever see her again,
if you ever talk to her again,
1216
01:13:15,858 --> 01:13:18,190
if you ever so much
as think about the bitch again,
1217
01:13:18,293 --> 01:13:20,853
this is what's gonna happen to her.
1218
01:13:26,969 --> 01:13:28,561
How you doing?
1219
01:13:29,505 --> 01:13:31,666
You get the picture, Norbit?
1220
01:13:33,542 --> 01:13:36,409
Deion, I just think that
we need to take a beat.
1221
01:13:36,512 --> 01:13:38,742
It's not you, it's me.
1222
01:13:38,847 --> 01:13:41,577
Just if we slow down, I...
1223
01:13:41,683 --> 01:13:43,514
Oh, good, you're up.
1224
01:13:43,619 --> 01:13:46,417
-Deion, we need to talk.
-Yes, we do.
1225
01:13:46,522 --> 01:13:49,582
I was just at Latimore Construction,

you know, with the renovation plans,
1226
01:13:49,691 --> 01:13:52,125
and I found this on Big Black's desk.
1227
01:13:52,694 --> 01:13:53,786
What is it?
1228
01:13:53,896 --> 01:13:56,228
It's a request to renew
the Golden Wonton's liquor license
1229
01:13:56,331 --> 01:13:58,925
and put it in the Latimores' name.
1230
01:13:59,668 --> 01:14:00,726
What?
1231
01:14:00,836 --> 01:14:03,304
Baby, you signed it yesterday.
Look at the date.
1232
01:14:03,405 --> 01:14:05,805
No. No, I didn't sign anything.
1233
01:14:07,576 --> 01:14:10,409
Just some permits
that Norbit gave me, but...
1234
01:14:10,512 --> 01:14:12,776
Well, did you read them?
1235
01:14:13,649 --> 01:14:15,708
-No.
-No. Great.
1236
01:14:15,818 --> 01:14:17,285
I don't get it, though, Deion.
1237
01:14:17,386 --> 01:14:19,411
Why would the Latimores
want me to renew the liquor license
1238
01:14:19,521 --> 01:14:20,749
at the orphanage?
1239
01:14:20,856 --> 01:14:22,585
Baby, people say
they've been trying to get their hands on
1240
01:14:22,691 --> 01:14:24,921
that orphanage for years.
1241
01:14:25,027 --> 01:14:27,928
Apparently they want to turn it
into a strip joint.
1242
01:14:28,263 --> 01:14:29,491
Disgusting.
1243
01:14:29,865 --> 01:14:32,698
First you gonna clean the basement,
then you gonna clean the garage,
1244
01:14:32,801 --> 01:14:34,769
then you gonna go upstairs
and clean the attic.
1245
01:14:34,870 --> 01:14:36,997
We don't even have an attic.
1246
01:14:37,105 --> 01:14:40,632
Well, then you build a damn attic, then,
Norbit! And then clean it!
1247
01:14:40,742 --> 01:14:43,609
I'm going upstairs to take a bubble bath.
1248
01:14:47,850 --> 01:14:51,684
Bitch! You bitch!
1249
01:14:53,917 --> 01:14:55,544
Finally.
1250
01:14:55,652 --> 01:14:59,952

I needed this.
Let me submerge this ass.
1251
01:15:00,057 --> 01:15:01,922
How you doing?
1252
01:15:05,262 --> 01:15:06,889
Good and hot.
1253
01:15:07,431 --> 01:15:09,899
Sounds like it's raining outside.
1254
01:15:20,544 --> 01:15:21,670
Oh, no.
1255
01:15:22,479 --> 01:15:23,673
Kate!
1256
01:15:23,780 --> 01:15:24,747
Norbit.
1257
01:15:24,848 --> 01:15:27,043
Over here. Over here.
1258
01:15:28,218 --> 01:15:29,776
I need to talk to you.
1259
01:15:29,886 --> 01:15:33,049
Do you know what was in those papers
you had me sign last night?
1260
01:15:33,156 --> 01:15:35,021
Yeah, the construction permits.
1261
01:15:35,125 --> 01:15:37,252
No, that's not all.
1262
01:15:40,897 --> 01:15:42,125
Norbit.
1263
01:15:42,432 --> 01:15:46,095
Hey, just... Just go away, Kate!

Get out of here!
1264
01:15:46,203 --> 01:15:47,363
What?
1265
01:15:49,573 --> 01:15:52,167
You heard what I said!
Just get out of here! Scram!
1266
01:15:52,275 --> 01:15:55,972
The Latimores are trying to
take control of the orphanage, Norbit.
1267
01:15:56,079 --> 01:16:00,140
Well, why don't you go and find
somebody who gives a rat's ass,
1268
01:16:00,250 --> 01:16:02,810
because I sure as hell don't!
1269
01:16:03,386 --> 01:16:06,480
-You don't care?
-No, I don't care.
1270
01:16:08,058 --> 01:16:10,925
-And I don't care about you, either!
-Norbit.
1271
01:16:11,027 --> 01:16:14,758
The only woman I have ever,
ever loved and ever cared about
1272
01:16:14,865 --> 01:16:18,392
was my darling wife, Rasputia!
1273
01:16:20,604 --> 01:16:21,628
But last night...
1274
01:16:21,738 --> 01:16:26,266
Last night I was just trying to nail you,
you know, score?
1275
01:16:26,743 --> 01:16:28,904

But now I realize I don't have to do that!
1276
01:16:29,012 --> 01:16:34,575
All I need is my beautiful,
precious wife Rasputia!
1277
01:16:35,519 --> 01:16:39,956
She's all the woman I need, so
you can just go on and get out of here,
1278
01:16:40,056 --> 01:16:42,547
you screwy dame! Who needs you?
1279
01:16:43,593 --> 01:16:45,493
Damn, Norbit.
1280
01:16:45,595 --> 01:16:48,792
Did that skinny little thing
figure out your plan?
1281
01:16:48,899 --> 01:16:52,460
Girl, you just don't get it, do you?
Norbit played you.
1282
01:16:52,569 --> 01:16:54,867
You got her to sign those papers,
didn't you?
1283
01:16:54,971 --> 01:16:56,666
Yes, darling.
1284
01:16:57,574 --> 01:16:59,235
He been setting you up
from that moment
1285
01:16:59,342 --> 01:17:01,435
from the very first day you got here.
1286
01:17:01,545 --> 01:17:02,910
How you doing?
1287
01:17:03,847 --> 01:17:06,714
Don't you ever talk to me again!

1288
01:17:08,151 --> 01:17:09,209
Kate.
1289
01:17:09,319 --> 01:17:12,015
Damn, Norbit,
you pissing off everybody today.
1290
01:17:12,122 --> 01:17:17,355
1291
01:17:19,830 --> 01:17:21,058
Never again!
1292
01:17:53,430 --> 01:17:54,761
Hey, Norbit.
1293
01:17:56,299 --> 01:17:58,563
Mr. Wong,
what are you doing around here?
1294
01:17:58,668 --> 01:18:02,399
I just going for a walk, Norbit.
Just going for a walk.
1295
01:18:02,505 --> 01:18:06,134
I live in this neighborhood long time.
Long time.
1296
01:18:07,010 --> 01:18:09,103
Soon I be moving on.
1297
01:18:09,212 --> 01:18:11,737
Yes, as I look around this neighborhood,
1298
01:18:11,848 --> 01:18:15,375
I realize there
no good dry cleaners here.
1299
01:18:15,485 --> 01:18:17,180
I could make killing.
1300
01:18:17,287 --> 01:18:18,652
Why you got suitcase?
1301
01:18:18,755 --> 01:18:21,815
I'm getting the H out of here.
I'm leaving town for good.
1302
01:18:21,925 --> 01:18:23,051
What? Leaving town?
1303
01:18:23,159 --> 01:18:26,424
I thought you stick around,
help Kate run orphanage.
1304
01:18:26,963 --> 01:18:28,555
She's getting married
to Deion tomorrow,
1305
01:18:28,665 --> 01:18:31,156
so there's no reason
for me to stay around here.
1306
01:18:31,268 --> 01:18:32,758
No reason?
1307
01:18:32,936 --> 01:18:34,597
No, she won't even see me.
1308
01:18:34,704 --> 01:18:37,002
And besides,
I'll just wind up getting hurt again.
1309
01:18:37,107 --> 01:18:40,440
Norbit, you listen to me.
You very special to me.
1310
01:18:41,244 --> 01:18:45,408
I love you like my own child,
like boy child, not girl child.
1311
01:18:45,515 --> 01:18:47,881
Wong once have girl child
back in Shanghai.
1312
01:18:47,984 --> 01:18:50,509
When she two years old,
I trade her for yak.
1313
01:18:50,620 --> 01:18:53,180
That sort of thing happen in China
from time to time.
1314
01:18:53,290 --> 01:18:54,951
Yak very hard to come by.
1315
01:18:55,058 --> 01:18:57,788
Oh, yeah, sure. I appreciate that.
1316
01:18:57,894 --> 01:19:00,761
You can't run
from your problems, Norbit.
1317
01:19:00,864 --> 01:19:04,800
Black people run fast,
but problem even faster.
1318
01:19:05,435 --> 01:19:07,027
That's kind of racist.
1319
01:19:07,137 --> 01:19:11,267
Yes. Wong very racist. I no like black.
I no like Jew either.
1320
01:19:11,374 --> 01:19:14,138
But black and Jew love Chinese food.
Go figure.
1321
01:19:15,045 --> 01:19:17,479
Always remember two things, Norbit.
1322
01:19:17,580 --> 01:19:22,040
One, even though you're very ugly,
1323
01:19:22,152 --> 01:19:24,985
you're very strong inside, like warrior.
1324
01:19:25,088 --> 01:19:29,388
And two, mail come late on Friday.
1325
01:19:31,227 --> 01:19:33,388
Wong Dry Cleaning.
1326
01:19:34,197 --> 01:19:35,960
It could have been huge.
1327
01:19:36,066 --> 01:19:39,729
You don't even have to clean nothing,
you just spray with starch.
1328
01:20:00,123 --> 01:20:01,283
Mr...
1329
01:20:06,363 --> 01:20:08,228
I gotta warn Kate.
1330
01:20:16,906 --> 01:20:17,930
Hello?
1331
01:20:18,041 --> 01:20:20,134
Hello, Kate. Kate, it's Norbit.
I have to talk to you.
1332
01:20:20,243 --> 01:20:23,644
-Please don't call me anymore.
-No, Kate, it's very important.
1333
01:20:25,248 --> 01:20:26,579
Kate?
1334
01:20:39,696 --> 01:20:40,924
Going somewhere, Norbit?
1335
01:20:41,031 --> 01:20:43,363
No, I was... No.
1336
01:20:43,466 --> 01:20:45,127
What did I tell you
about leaving this house?

1337
01:20:45,235 --> 01:20:47,703
I was just going to get some fresh air.
1338
01:20:47,804 --> 01:20:50,398
Boy, you ain't going nowhere
till after that wedding's done.
1339
01:20:50,507 --> 01:20:52,134
We got too much riding on that.
1340
01:20:52,242 --> 01:20:54,210
What do you have
riding on the wedding?
1341
01:20:54,310 --> 01:20:56,505
Soon as your little friend says, "I do,"
1342
01:20:56,613 --> 01:20:59,878
Deion and us is gonna
turn the orphanage into a titty bar.
1343
01:21:00,216 --> 01:21:02,446
But what about the little orphans?
1344
01:21:02,552 --> 01:21:05,612
Hell, they can come too,
if they pay the cover.
1345
01:21:07,857 --> 01:21:10,690
John the Baptist, stop their evil plan.
1346
01:21:11,494 --> 01:21:13,519
Get your ass down in the basement.
1347
01:21:14,064 --> 01:21:15,588
Get down there!
1348
01:21:20,470 --> 01:21:26,204
It's a madhouse! A madhouse!
1349
01:21:42,392 --> 01:21:45,020

-Come on, Rasputia! We gonna be late.
-Yeah.
1350
01:21:45,128 --> 01:21:47,062
I know y'all better stop rushing me.
1351
01:21:47,163 --> 01:21:49,631
Beauty takes time.
This don't just happen.
1352
01:21:49,732 --> 01:21:50,994
Oh, no.
1353
01:21:51,301 --> 01:21:52,268
You get out the car.
1354
01:21:52,368 --> 01:21:52,735
You gonna stay here
and make sure Norbit don't go no place.
1355
01:21:52,735 --> 01:21:54,168
You gonna stay here
and make sure Norbit don't go no place.
1356
01:21:54,270 --> 01:21:56,795
What? Why I gotta stay?
1357
01:21:56,906 --> 01:21:59,374
Because everybody know
you the smartest.
1358
01:22:16,292 --> 01:22:19,887
Three minutes to show time.
Not too late to chicken out.
1359
01:22:20,563 --> 01:22:22,360
No, I'm ready.
1360
01:22:22,665 --> 01:22:24,929
Okay. You look beautiful.
1361
01:22:43,453 --> 01:22:45,853
P-O-W-E-R.
1362
01:22:45,955 --> 01:22:50,153
T to the A to the mother-stanking P.
Power-tap the fat, move back.
1363
01:22:50,260 --> 01:22:52,057
Power-tap the fat, move back.
1364
01:23:11,514 --> 01:23:13,072
What are the Latimores doing here?
1365
01:23:13,183 --> 01:23:16,482
Don't worry. It's your day.
You look beautiful.
1366
01:23:25,962 --> 01:23:27,224
Nuts.
1367
01:23:27,797 --> 01:23:30,391
-Tap, tap, tap. Tap it off.
-Tap, tap. Tap...
1368
01:23:31,100 --> 01:23:32,328
Norbit!
1369
01:23:34,470 --> 01:23:36,734
Norbit? Norbit?
1370
01:23:38,708 --> 01:23:40,608
Oh, damn. He escaped.
1371
01:23:41,444 --> 01:23:43,275
Norbit! Norbit!
1372
01:23:44,280 --> 01:23:46,339
Your ass is mine, Norbit!
1373
01:23:55,925 --> 01:23:57,222
Yeah.
1374
01:24:01,831 --> 01:24:03,856
-Just now? Shit.

-Is he all right?
1375
01:24:04,267 --> 01:24:06,497
Norbit escaped. He gonna be
headed this way. Come on.
1376
01:24:06,603 --> 01:24:08,070
Hell, no.
1377
01:24:11,808 --> 01:24:14,242
-Norbit is coming.
-For shizzle?
1378
01:24:14,344 --> 01:24:16,505
We have to figure out way
to stall wedding.
1379
01:24:16,613 --> 01:24:17,944
Just calm down, Mr. Wong.
1380
01:24:18,047 --> 01:24:21,278
I've ruined plenty of weddings
back in the day. I got this.
1381
01:24:21,884 --> 01:24:23,715
Dearly beloved,
1382
01:24:23,820 --> 01:24:27,916
we are gathered here today
to join these two in holy matrimony.
1383
01:24:28,024 --> 01:24:30,720
Your Honor, I object!
1384
01:24:31,394 --> 01:24:34,886
Object? Sir, we've not gotten to
that part yet.
1385
01:24:34,998 --> 01:24:38,866
Then I'm objeculating prematurely,
Reverend.
1386
01:24:40,403 --> 01:24:43,770

No offense, my brother, but we're just
trying to keep the train rolling here.
1387
01:24:43,873 --> 01:24:47,206
Oh, well, if you want to
get the train rolling, you know...
1388
01:24:47,310 --> 01:24:49,471
You got to use the big "L".
1389
01:24:50,813 --> 01:24:51,837
Lesbians.
1390
01:24:51,948 --> 01:24:54,109
No, man.
I ain't talking about no lesbians.
1391
01:24:54,217 --> 01:24:55,775
-Although, late at night.
-Yes.
1392
01:24:55,885 --> 01:24:57,409
-Right?
-Yes.
1393
01:24:57,620 --> 01:25:00,521
-No, brother, we talking about love.
-Love.
1394
01:25:00,623 --> 01:25:06,255
Love is the engine
that drives the train forward, backwards,
1395
01:25:06,362 --> 01:25:11,129
side to side,
round and round love does go.
1396
01:25:11,234 --> 01:25:13,794
You understand me? I got this, brother.
1397
01:25:13,903 --> 01:25:18,340
I'm not talking about no $20 up in here,
back seat of the car,
1398
01:25:18,441 --> 01:25:20,409
stanky-stanky, hanky-panky.
1399
01:25:20,510 --> 01:25:21,477
-No.
-No.
1400
01:25:21,577 --> 01:25:23,977
I'm talking about good, wholesome,
1401
01:25:24,080 --> 01:25:27,072
fortified with
eight essential vitamins love.
1402
01:25:27,183 --> 01:25:28,616
That cost anywhere...
1403
01:25:28,718 --> 01:25:29,707
How much it cost?
1404
01:25:29,819 --> 01:25:33,880
About $136, Monday through Fridays.
$212 on the weekends.
1405
01:25:33,990 --> 01:25:36,823
Because of inflation.
Can I get an "Amen"?
1406
01:25:36,926 --> 01:25:38,018
Amen!
1407
01:25:48,338 --> 01:25:50,238
Where the hell you going, Norbit?
1408
01:25:50,340 --> 01:25:53,366
None of your GD beeswax, Rasputia!
1409
01:25:53,476 --> 01:25:55,467
Look at you, you old stupid fool.
You can't even ride a bike.
1410
01:25:55,578 --> 01:25:58,570

Oh, yes, I can, because Kate taught me!
1411
01:26:07,990 --> 01:26:12,222
Brothers and sisters.
This particular one's for the brothers.
1412
01:26:12,328 --> 01:26:16,025
When you buy the ones that say,
"Ribbed for her pleasure,"
1413
01:26:16,132 --> 01:26:20,728
turn them inside out
and they ribbed for your pleasure.
1414
01:26:20,837 --> 01:26:23,067
-Can I get an "Amen"?
-Amen!
1415
01:26:23,172 --> 01:26:25,663
Now, speaking of ribs and pleasure.
1416
01:26:26,209 --> 01:26:30,578
Yes. For a limited time only,
we are proud to present to you
1417
01:26:30,680 --> 01:26:33,877
our barbeque, baby back, horseradish,
1418
01:26:33,983 --> 01:26:36,918
mustard and
peanut butter-encrusted ribs
1419
01:26:37,019 --> 01:26:41,718
with a slight Jagermeister infusion
sprinkled with chamomile leaves
1420
01:26:41,824 --> 01:26:46,523
with a horseradish
and dandelion salad on a bed of rice.
1421
01:26:46,629 --> 01:26:49,723
Buy one Pimp Platter,
get the whole bones free.
1422
01:26:49,866 --> 01:26:52,858
No, no, no! That's enough talking.
1423
01:26:52,969 --> 01:26:54,903
It's time to get back to the wedding.
1424
01:26:55,004 --> 01:26:59,634
It ain't never enough talking
when you talking about love, brother.
1425
01:26:59,742 --> 01:27:01,937
-Ain't that right?
-Yeah!
1426
01:27:02,044 --> 01:27:03,602
Let me hear you say it, people!
1427
01:27:03,713 --> 01:27:04,737
Love!
1428
01:27:04,847 --> 01:27:06,872
Let me hear you sing it, choir!
1429
01:27:06,983 --> 01:27:09,076
Love!
1430
01:27:21,664 --> 01:27:23,188
-I'm gonna rip your head off.
-Rasputia.
1431
01:27:23,299 --> 01:27:24,698
-What?
-Car!
1432
01:27:24,801 --> 01:27:26,496
I don't give a damn about no car.
I'm ready to die.
1433
01:27:26,602 --> 01:27:27,967
Car!
1434
01:27:29,939 --> 01:27:31,964

I'm ready to die!
1435
01:27:33,443 --> 01:27:34,467
I'm ready to die.
1436
01:27:34,577 --> 01:27:37,375
I ain't gonna let you ruin Nipplopolis
for me, boy! Damn!
1437
01:27:37,480 --> 01:27:39,471
I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die up in here.
1438
01:27:39,916 --> 01:27:41,508
Drive the car, God damn it!
1439
01:27:47,690 --> 01:27:51,786
What's up, white man?
Pay for your sins. Pay for your sins.
1440
01:27:52,061 --> 01:27:54,359
We gonna change your name to Leroy.
1441
01:28:50,887 --> 01:28:52,752
Amen!
1442
01:28:57,126 --> 01:28:58,252
That's enough!
1443
01:28:58,361 --> 01:29:01,660
That's enough! Enough! Enough!
Enough! Enough!
1444
01:29:01,931 --> 01:29:03,694
-Stop the music!
-Hold on.
1445
01:29:03,833 --> 01:29:06,165
Shut up! You two, shut up!
1446
01:29:06,269 --> 01:29:08,100
That's it. This is husband-and-wife time.
1447
01:29:08,204 --> 01:29:11,833
Now, let's go. Let's go.
Husband-and-wife stuff.
1448
01:29:13,943 --> 01:29:14,910
Dearly beloved,
1449
01:29:15,912 --> 01:29:17,140
we are gathered here today...
1450
01:29:17,246 --> 01:29:18,543
I object!
1451
01:29:18,648 --> 01:29:20,013
Oh, for Christ's sake!
1452
01:29:20,449 --> 01:29:21,939
-Norbit.
-Norbit.
1453
01:29:22,051 --> 01:29:23,040
Norbit.
1454
01:29:23,152 --> 01:29:25,950
Norbit
1455
01:29:26,722 --> 01:29:29,418
This wedding is a sham
and I'm here to stop it.
1456
01:29:29,525 --> 01:29:31,493
Norbit, what are you doing?
1457
01:29:31,594 --> 01:29:35,257
I'm being a man
for the first time in my life. Kate...
1458
01:29:36,098 --> 01:29:38,032
Kate, I love you.
1459
01:29:39,602 --> 01:29:41,934
What the hell did you just say?
1460
01:29:43,339 --> 01:29:46,069
You heard what I said, strumpet.
I love Kate!
1461
01:29:46,175 --> 01:29:48,473
That's right. I love you, Kate.
1462
01:29:48,578 --> 01:29:51,911
And the last two weeks I spent with you
have meant more to me
1463
01:29:52,014 --> 01:29:54,847
than my whole entire miserable life
with you, Rasputia!
1464
01:29:54,951 --> 01:30:00,082
It's over! Norbit Albert Rice
is no longer your bitch!
1465
01:30:05,161 --> 01:30:06,526
You're dead! Get off me!
1466
01:30:06,629 --> 01:30:08,221
Get your hands off me, Black.
Don't go hitting me.
1467
01:30:08,331 --> 01:30:10,561
What's wrong with you, girl?
What's wrong with you? Get off of me.
1468
01:30:10,666 --> 01:30:11,826
You don't talk like that with me.
1469
01:30:11,934 --> 01:30:12,901
No, wait!
1470
01:30:13,002 --> 01:30:14,264
No, no, wait, baby girl,
he's ruining our wedding.
1471
01:30:14,370 --> 01:30:15,667
Let's just get back to the nuptials.
1472
01:30:15,771 --> 01:30:18,467
We just heard condom advice
from an ex-pimp.
1473
01:30:18,574 --> 01:30:21,168
I think we can survive
a few words from Norbit.
1474
01:30:21,277 --> 01:30:24,269
Deion is a fake. He's marrying you
just to get your money.
1475
01:30:24,380 --> 01:30:25,369
What?
1476
01:30:25,481 --> 01:30:28,575
Him and the Latimores.
They thought this whole scheme up.
1477
01:30:28,684 --> 01:30:31,847
He's been married four times in the
last six years to four different women,
1478
01:30:31,954 --> 01:30:34,980
and he cheated the women
out of $300,000 in divorce settlements.
1479
01:30:35,091 --> 01:30:36,854
Yeah, I heard all about it!
And something else.
1480
01:30:36,959 --> 01:30:39,154
They were gonna try to steal
the orphanage from you.
1481
01:30:39,261 --> 01:30:40,489
That's what this whole thing is about!
1482
01:30:40,596 --> 01:30:43,759
You crazy! He's got a big crush on you.
He's making this stuff up.
1483
01:30:43,866 --> 01:30:45,663

Oh, yeah? I'm crazy?
I'm making it all up?
1484
01:30:45,768 --> 01:30:47,998
-Yes, you making it up.
-Then what about this, then?
1485
01:30:48,104 --> 01:30:50,800
This evidence that I have.
Look at this!
1486
01:30:52,208 --> 01:30:54,142
This, well...
1487
01:30:54,343 --> 01:30:57,938
This used to, before it fell in the pond,
it had numbers
1488
01:30:58,047 --> 01:30:59,514
and there was information.
1489
01:30:59,615 --> 01:31:02,709
There was people's names
and dates and addresses
1490
01:31:02,818 --> 01:31:05,412
and all kinds of incriminating things.
1491
01:31:05,521 --> 01:31:09,821
I fell in the pond, but you can't read it.
But, boy, did I have your ass!
1492
01:31:10,059 --> 01:31:13,426
That's nice, Norbit. Really nice.
Did you write that yourself? Pathetic.
1493
01:31:13,529 --> 01:31:15,087
Kate, you have to believe me.
1494
01:31:15,197 --> 01:31:16,425
Yeah, yeah, believe him, Kate.
1495
01:31:16,532 --> 01:31:18,966

Remember the one that got you to sign
the papers to steal the orphanage?
1496
01:31:19,068 --> 01:31:21,298
Remember that?
Believe him. Go ahead.
1497
01:31:21,804 --> 01:31:26,241
I'm so sorry, Norbit.
I just don't trust you anymore.
1498
01:31:31,313 --> 01:31:34,339
Well, well, well, Norbit. You lose again.
1499
01:31:34,450 --> 01:31:38,318
Once a loser, always a loser, huh?
Now, come on! Let's go!
1500
01:31:39,822 --> 01:31:43,519
Yeah, I thought you'd feel
that way about it, Kate.
1501
01:31:45,027 --> 01:31:47,018
And that's why I took the liberty
1502
01:31:47,129 --> 01:31:50,724
of inviting some of
Deion's ex-wives down
1503
01:31:50,833 --> 01:31:53,199
so maybe they could tell you
for themselves.
1504
01:31:53,302 --> 01:31:54,929
Ladies!
1505
01:31:55,037 --> 01:31:56,561
Hello, Antoine.
1506
01:31:56,706 --> 01:31:59,641
-I've been looking for you.
-Daddy!
1507
01:31:59,742 --> 01:32:02,233
Antoine? He told me
his name was Luther!
1508
01:32:02,344 --> 01:32:03,311
Who is that ho?
1509
01:32:03,412 --> 01:32:05,039
He told me he was gay.
1510
01:32:05,147 --> 01:32:09,140
No, no, no. Y'all got me confused with
my gay twin brother, Antoine Luther.
1511
01:32:09,251 --> 01:32:11,742
-You dead, gold digger!
-Get your butt back here!
1512
01:32:11,854 --> 01:32:12,912
I'm out!
1513
01:32:13,022 --> 01:32:15,081
Looks like the wedding's off, bro.
1514
01:32:15,191 --> 01:32:16,556
Church!
1515
01:32:18,227 --> 01:32:19,922
-God damn it, Norbit!
-Oh, snap!
1516
01:32:20,029 --> 01:32:20,996
Get him!
1517
01:32:21,097 --> 01:32:22,291
Norbit!
1518
01:32:24,300 --> 01:32:27,167
Mother Mary! Jesus! Noah! Christ!
1519
01:32:28,304 --> 01:32:29,328
Good.
1520
01:32:44,553 --> 01:32:46,350
You going somewhere, Norbit?
1521
01:32:58,000 --> 01:33:00,093
-You messed up, boy.
-That's right.
1522
01:33:01,070 --> 01:33:03,561
Now you gonna pay. Big time!
1523
01:33:03,672 --> 01:33:07,039
Latimore! Keep your fakakta hands
off him!
1524
01:33:07,143 --> 01:33:09,634
Go back to your shop, Abe,
before I kill you, too!
1525
01:33:09,745 --> 01:33:12,942
Hey! You gonna have to kill me, as well!
1526
01:33:13,048 --> 01:33:14,845
Yeah, and me, too!
1527
01:33:21,824 --> 01:33:23,291
Rasputia!
1528
01:33:25,227 --> 01:33:26,888
How you doing?
1529
01:33:28,230 --> 01:33:30,721
I kick the shit out of you.
1530
01:33:35,204 --> 01:33:36,330
Mind your goddamn business.
1531
01:33:36,438 --> 01:33:38,929
Mind your business. Get out of here.
Move it.
1532
01:33:39,942 --> 01:33:41,705
No, you didn't!

1533
01:33:41,811 --> 01:33:43,779
Bye-bye.
1534
01:33:48,450 --> 01:33:50,577
Bring it, bitches!
1535
01:33:54,190 --> 01:33:55,589
Oh, hell to the no.
1536
01:33:55,691 --> 01:33:58,182
Mrs. Henderson is tripping, huh?
Get your...
1537
01:33:59,628 --> 01:34:02,529
You crazy little old bitch.
How you doing?
1538
01:34:12,041 --> 01:34:13,474
Get out of the way.
1539
01:34:14,343 --> 01:34:15,674
His ass is mine.
1540
01:34:16,545 --> 01:34:19,275
'Sputia? Rasputia?
1541
01:34:20,282 --> 01:34:22,409
You remember "till death do us part,"
don't you, Norbit?
1542
01:34:22,518 --> 01:34:23,644
No!
1543
01:34:25,354 --> 01:34:27,379
Whale, ho!
1544
01:34:28,724 --> 01:34:30,589
Did somebody just call me a whale?
1545
01:34:30,693 --> 01:34:32,820
Yeah, and a ho!

1546
01:34:38,000 --> 01:34:40,662
Bingo! Right in the blow hole!
1547
01:34:44,240 --> 01:34:46,367
-Let's get some.
-We dead.
1548
01:34:47,042 --> 01:34:49,374
Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
1549
01:34:58,120 --> 01:34:59,382
Norbit!
1550
01:35:03,692 --> 01:35:04,818
Are you all right?
1551
01:35:04,927 --> 01:35:08,920
All right? This is the best I've ever felt
in my whole life.
1552
01:35:10,666 --> 01:35:11,997
Come here.
1553
01:35:18,507 --> 01:35:19,599
Proud of that boy.
1554
01:35:19,708 --> 01:35:24,338
Yes. Yes, very proud of Norbit.
He like my son.
1555
01:35:24,647 --> 01:35:26,911
I'm sorry I doubted you.
In the end, I guess you could say
everything worked out just fine.
Kate and I took over the orphanage
and it was a dream come true.
Oh, and we also got married. Again.
I love you, Kate.

Ditto.
And I now pronounce you my wife.
And I pronounce you my husband.
You may kiss the bride.
What you mean, "Ew"? No, "Ew."
Man kiss a woman, beautiful thing.
Ling Ling.
Come here with your fine self.
I now pronounce you man and wife.
As for Rasputia
and the rest of the Latimores,
we never heard from them again.
Rumor has it they settled somewhere
in Mexico and opened the club.
I guess they're living their dream, too.
Say, man, don't you have
any better-looking girls than that?
Our best girl's coming out right now.
Rasputia!
Hold on, now, Pepe.
Ain't nothing going down there unless
it got the word "peso" written on it.

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1

00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074

00:01:34,794 --> 00:01:37,922

<i>After Marvin Browning got lost</i>

<i>another somebody to share my life with.</i>

<i>but that's just because</i>

00:07:56,809 --> 00:08:01,109

00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,771

Them are not dimples.

I'm talking pain, boy.

I like Norbit father.

had a pee-pee the size of an egg roll.

<i>It was a love that sustained us</i>

that you was adjusting my seat.

00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:20,627

to get the usual.

It's a perfect fit, man.

00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:15,551

00:24:05,644 --> 00:24:08,477

00:25:57,289 --> 00:25:59,348

Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.

<i>Don't cha wish your girlfriend</i>

never be nothing without me, Norbit!

00:34:19,690 --> 00:34:23,626

No, very important. Here.

00:36:02,326 --> 00:36:03,987

Oh, hell, no.

00:41:02,092 --> 00:41:03,150

Oh, well, they're doing some tests.

00:43:00,744 --> 00:43:03,304

00:44:07,745 --> 00:44:09,440

I didn't even know you could cook.

Where the hell you going?

I'm talking about Miss Thing Thing

all emaciated-looking like you,

00:49:57,127 --> 00:50:01,757

00:50:39,603 --> 00:50:41,195

So, you wanna watch a bitch

<i>You want to hear the test results?</i>

00:54:13,149 --> 00:54:16,414

00:54:43,113 --> 00:54:45,206

00:56:34,391 --> 00:56:35,688

-Sit your punk ass down.

00:59:55,458 --> 00:59:56,482

01:04:22,725 --> 01:04:27,992

Anybody is a see Norbit?

<i>was a freak like me</i>

01:11:12,234 --> 01:11:14,259

Lloyd, what am I gonna do?

I was just at Latimore Construction,

01:14:55,652 --> 01:14:59,952

Hey, just... Just go away, Kate!

01:16:26,743 --> 01:16:28,904

Don't you ever talk to me again!

about leaving this house?

01:21:42,392 --> 01:21:45,020

-Just now? Shit.

01:24:40,403 --> 01:24:43,770

01:25:55,578 --> 01:25:58,570

01:27:29,939 --> 01:27:31,964

01:30:43,866 --> 01:30:45,663

01:31:16,532 --> 01:31:18,966