Enneagram Type nine The Peacemaker Mediator/Peacemaker

Keeping peace and harmony People of this personality type essentially feel a need for peace and harmony. They tend to avoid conflict at all costs, whether it be internal or interpersonal. As the potential for conflict in life is virtually ubiquitous, the Nine's desire to avoid it generally results in some degree of withdrawal from life, and many Nines are, in fact, introverted. Other Nines lead more active, social lives, but nevertheless remain to some to degree "checked out," or not fully involved, as if to insulate themselves from threats to their peace of mind. Most Nines are fairly easy going; they adopt a strategy of "going with the flow." They are generally reliable, sturdy, self-effacing, tolerant and likable individuals. Nines tend to adopt an optimistic approach to life; they are, for the most part, trusting people who see the best in others; they frequently have a deep seated faith that things will somehow work out. They desire to feel connected, both to other people and to the world at large. They frequently feel most at home in nature and generally make warm and attentive parents. The Nine's inability to tolerate conflict sometimes translates into an overall conservative approach to change. Change can provoke unpleasant feelings and disrupt the Nine's desire for comfort. Less healthy Nines seem incapable of motivating themselves to move into action and bring about effective change. When change does come however, as it generally will, Nines find that they are usually well able to adapt. They tend to be more resilient than they give themselves credit for. In fact, Nines tend not to give themselves enough credit in general, and their self-effacing attitude often seems to invite others to take them for granted or to overlook their often significant contributions. This can cause a subterranean anger to build inside the Nine's psyche, which can erupt into consciousness in occasional fits of temper which quickly blow over, but which more often manifests itself in passive aggressive foot-dragging. Being overlooked is often a source of a deep sadness in Nines, a sadness that they scarcely ever give voice to. Nines frequently mistype themselves as they have a rather diffuse sense of their own identities. This is exacerbated by the fact that Nines often merge with their loved ones and through a process of identification take on the characteristics of those closest to them. Female Nines frequently mistype as Twos, especially if they are the mothers are small children. Nines, however, are self-effacing whereas Twos are quite aware of their own self worth. Nines also mistake themselves for Fours, but Nines tend to avoid negative emotions whereas Fours often exacerbate them. Intellectual Nines, especially males, frequently mistype as Fives, but Fives are intellectually contentious whereas Nines are conciliatory and conflict avoidant.

At their best: Indomitable, and all-embracing, pleasant, peaceful, patient, receptive,

diplomatic, open-minded, they are able to bring people together and heal conflicts. At their worst: Forgetful, passive-aggressive, judgmental, unassertive, apathetic, they can become placid, unsure of what they want, too sensitive to criticism or not being taken seriously and retire early from life.

What do I think of myself?

1. People see me as relaxed; a good adjective would be "easy-going." 2. It's pointless getting too upset about things. 3. I try to pour oil on troubled waters by minimizing the problems. 4. I need a push to get started. 5. I have a great inner peace. 6. One of my great gifts is that I'm balanced and stable. 7. "Maana" (tomorrow) is a lovely word; things can always wait. 8. I generally take the easy way out. 9. I usually sleep very well. 10. "Let nothing disturb you" is a good motto. 11.

Change upsets me a lot, and I'm difficult to move. 12. I really don't see myself as being very important. 13. I don't often get too excited or enthusiastic about things. 14. I tend to repress my feelings. 15. I often give the appearance of being drained of energy. 16. I am often indecisive, not wanting to say "yes" or "no." 17. I do all I can to preserve my energy. 18. I see myself as a mediator and a peacemaker. 19. I am not very punctual. 20. I like to have time to myself to just sit and do nothing. 21. My attention wanders a bit, so listening is difficult for me. 22. Never stand when you can sit, or sit when you can lie down! 23. In general I resign myself to the way things are. 24. I tend to be forgetful. 25. When you come right down to it, people don't differ all that much.

What do I miss because of my distorted style?

1) A sense of accomplishment in getting things done. 2) A sense of competency and self-efficacy: "I can do it". 3) Feeling loved and cared for and in turn being loving and caring. 4) A sense of self worth: "I really do matter". 5) A sense of purpose and destiny: you have a place in and a part to play in the unfolding of the universe. 6) Sense of aliveness and vitality. 7) Excitement and growth that arise out of conflict. NINES with a more developed EIGHT wing tend to be more outgoing, assertive, and antiauthoritarian. They may vacillate between being confrontational and conciliatory. NINES with a more developed ONE wing tend to be more orderly, critical, emotionally controlled, and compliant. NINES with EIGHTS

Wings

Traits conflict: Insensitivity - difficult type to understand -avoid direct conflict -avoid innocence -passive, desire harmony -assertive, follow selfinterest Balancing}-deals poorly with conflict---------------> -faces conflict Points: } -"laid back", lazy--------------------------> -energetic -procrastinates-----------------------------> -involved & dedicated ONES Traits reinforce: Obstinacy -emotionally controlled and cooler type -repress emotions -repress emotions to maintain peace to maintain self-control Balancing}-little sense of priority--------------------> -strong sense of responsibility Points: } -seek easy way out------------------------> -involvement -sloppy, imprecise--------------------------> -neat, orderly, accurate NINES with

Arrows
When NINES move toward the positive side of THREE, they: -become more energetic, efficient, and productive -narrow their focus -acquire more self-confidence -live less through others and take more control of their lives 2

(Enneagram No. Nine)

When NINES move toward the negative side of THREE, they take on more projects than they can handle; try to impress people in order to feel special; work to earn respect and admiration instead of working for their own meaningful goals. When NINES move toward the negative side of SIX, they: -become overwhelmed by anxiety and worry -become more self-doubting, indecisive, and rigid -become more passive and inactive When NINES move toward the positive side of SIX, they become more direct and outspoken, develop more loyalty and become more practical and realistic. 1) Acknowledge your own self-worth. This is your greatest need. You cannot love and appreciate others if you do not love and appreciate yourself. Think of yourself as being professional, efficient, competent. 2) Take control of your life. You need to rouse yourself out of your complacency and become involved in life. Be prompt, do it now, don't procrastinate. Try focussing and differentiating as against distracting yourself and becoming confluent. Get in touch with the active agent in you instead of being a passive recipient. 3) Face the tensions and conflicts, and avoid trying to make things peaceful and tranquil at any price. Be assertive; state your position, feeling or preference 4) Deal with negative feelings, and try not to paper over the cracks. You need to own your aggression and stubbornness. Get in touch with your anger and use it to tell you what you want and to help you get what you really need. 5) Confront all forms of narcotization and escapism. Life is full of problems and tranquillisers are no solution; one has to face them. Wake up to your real self, feelings and wants and watch falling asleep and neglecting yourself

Conversion

Transformations
1. I now release not taking an active interest in my own life. 2. I NOW RELEASE turning away from whatever is unpleasant or difficult. 3. I NOW RELEASE feeling that there is nothing I can do to improve my life. 4. I NOW RELEASE being numb and emotionally unavailable. 5. I NOW RELEASE refusing to see my own aggressions. 6. I NOW RELEASE ignoring problems until they become overwhelming. 7. I NOW RELEASE all dependency and fear of being on my own. 8. I NOW RELEASE all wishful thinking and giving up too soon. 9. I NOW RELEASE neglecting myself and my own legitimate needs. 10. I NOW RELEASE seeking quick, easy "solutions" to my problems. 11. I NOW RELEASE feeling threatened by significant changes in my life. 12. I NOW RELEASE losing myself in comforting habits and routines. 13. I NOW RELEASE feeling that most things are just too much trouble. 14. I NOW RELEASE all inattentiveness and forgetfulness. 15. I NOW RELEASE going along with others to keep the peace. 16. I NOW RELEASE living through others and not developing myself. 17. I now affirm that I am confident, strong, and independent. 18. I NOW AFFIRM that I develop my mind and think things through. 19. I NOW AFFIRM that I am awake and alert to the world around me. 20. I NOW AFFIRM that I am proud of myself and my abilities. 21. I NOW AFFIRM that I am steadfast and dependable in difficult times. 22. I NOW AFFIRM that I look deeply into myself without fear. 3 (Enneagram No. Nine)

23. I NOW AFFIRM that I am excited about my future. 24. I NOW AFFIRM that I am a powerful, healing force in my world. 25. I NOW AFFIRM that I actively embrace all that life brings. A) Lord God, I realise that Ive spent my life trying to deny my feelings in order to avoid the pain they bring. This has made me and others feel that sometimes I am lazy and I take the path of least resistance. I know Ive taken the bits and pieces of life rather than those demand commitment and responsibility. I hear your call for an involved and engaged life where I can be charged with the energy of your care and that of others. Lord, have mercy. B) Lord God, I thank you for giving me the gift of gentleness and a profound tranquillity of heart. Help me to own my deepest feelings without losing my inner peace, and to appreciate my own importance without ever selling myself short. Above all, show me how to cope with life's conflicts and problems with a confident trust in your love. Amen.

Prayers

Suggestions Number NINE

1. It's worth examining your type's tendency to go along with others, doing what they want to keep the peace and be nice. Will constantly agreeing to the wishes of others provide the kind of relationships that will really satisfy you? Remember, it is impossible to love others if you are not truly present to them. This means that you have to be yourself, that you (paradoxically) have to be independent so that you can really be there for others when they need you. 2. Exert yourself. Force yourself to pay attention to what is going on. Do not drift off or tune out people or daydream. Work on focusing your attention to become an active participant in the world around you. Try to become more mentally and emotionally responsive. 3 Recognise that you also have aggressions, anxieties, and other feelings that you must deal with. Negative feelings and impulses are a part of you and they affect you emotionally and physically whether or not you acknowledge them. Furthermore, your negative emotions are often expressed inadvertently and get in the way of the peace and harmony you want in your relationships. It is best to get things out in the open first, at least by allowing yourself to become aware of your feelings. 4. Although this will be very painful for you, if your community life or ministry has been a failure or find yourself with hardly any real friends you must honestly examine how you may have contributed to these problems. Examining troubled relationships will be extremely difficult because the people involved have been close to your heart. The feelings you have for others endow you with much of your identity and self-esteem. But if you really love others, you can do no less than examine the role you have played in whatever conflicts that have arisen. In the last analysis, the choice is simple: you must sacrifice your peace of mind (in the short run) for the satisfaction of genuine relationships (in the long run). 5. Exercise frequently to become more aware of your body and emotions. (Some Nines run around doing errands and think that they are getting enough exercise.) Regular exercise is a healthy form of selfdiscipline and will increase your awareness of your feelings and other sensations. Developing body awareness will help teach you to concentrate and focus your attention in other areas of' your life as well. Exercise is also a good way to get in touch with and express some aggressions. 6. Repressing your feelings will lead to somatization reactions -- unexplained headaches, backaches, nausea, and other bodily ailments. Sudden migraines, crying spells, panic attacks, and fear of going out in pubic (agoraphobia) are examples of physiological and psychological problems caused by repressed emotions. It will be difficult to seek help for these if you need to, but it may be necessary. Do not be afraid. Your life will be richer and you will be more truly at peace if you do. 7. Do not use tranquillisers, except at times of great crisis. They may spare you from anxiety, but at the cost of dulling the very awareness and ability to cope that you are trying to develop. Using tranquillisers is, for Nines, like "bringing coals to Newcastle" -- not something you really need, only something you think you need to spare yourself discomfort. Coping with crises not only will increase your self-esteem but will be a real sign to others that you are truly a strong person and that they will be able to look to you for support at times of crisis in their lives. 8. To the degree that they are repressed as individuals, one of the greatest tragedies for Nines is that they may come to the end of their lives and realise that they have never really lived. It is as if their lives

(Enneagram No. Nine)

have happened to someone else: they have never really lived them themselves. They may realise (if only faintly) that they were "asleep" most of the time. Do not live like this. Accept your life and learn to feel 'the magnitude of what it is to be alive. It can be frightening, but being aware that we are alive is one of the things that separates us from the animals. If you give up your consciousness, you give up much of your life. 9. Trust yourself to ventilate your fears and anxieties with your community and friends. (Standing up to others and expressing feelings is threatening to many of the personality types, so you are not alone.) Have confidence that you will not damage your relationships by expressing yourself. Think of the comfort of knowing that your relationships are solid, that your family and friends will respond to you, and that you can be yourself and grow as an individual. This is a basis for genuine reassurance and comfort. 10. One of your greatest assets is your receptivity to people: others feel calm, safe, and accepted around you. But they will love you and seek you out, even more if they also feel that you understand them and are attentive to their needs. Listen to people carefully and get to know them as they really are. The love you have for them - and they for you - w ill be that much more real and that much more valuable.

Biblical References for Number NINE

A) Sinfulness To Pray Through ...
1. NINES repress feelings and often appear drained of energy. Rv 3:14-16. Expresses the desire on God's part for a full involvement of self in faith and life. 2 It can be difficult to get NINES to move. Ac 10:1-20. Expresses the commission to preach and to bear witness. 3. NINES' manner of speaking can be monotonous. They can be constant complainers. Col 3: 12-17. The call to dedicate oneself to thankfulness, to look more at the gift of life and faith. 4. NINES often attempt to get others to do their work. Lk 1:39-45. Mary's willingness to reach out to serve her cousin at a time when it would have seemed that she could have expected the service of others. 5. NINES can lose the larger picture of a situation because of their concern with details. Lk 17:11-19. The story of the cure of the ten lepers. The unexpressed gratitude that is in the scene shows what can happen when the truth of a situation is obscured. 6. NINES avoid conflict. Jn 7:1-38. Jesus enters into conflict fearlessly. 7. NINES can be over involved in trivia. Rm 11:33-36. A call to understand the depths of the mystery of God. 8. NINES can experience the outer world as not caring for them and this leads to an unwillingness to conform to social standards. Lk 2:1-7. Human uncaring caused suffering for the Holy Family. 9. NINES find it hard to say Yes or No in a given situation and to stand up against hard demands. Jn 15:18-27. Helps the NINE to know that persecution is to be expected in life and that one does not face it alone. 10. NINES know the experience of hopelessness at times. Mt 21: 8-22. The promise of prayer being answered if there is faith. 11. NINES resign themselves to things the way they are. Mt 25:31-46. The last judgement scene. We will be judged on response to the world's needs. 12. NINES look for meaning outside themselves instead of undertaking the inner journey. Lk 17:20-21. The Kingdom of God is right here. 13. NINES know an inner paralysis that leads to indecision. Mt 25:14-30. Parable of the talents. There is in it a powerful commentary on lost opportunity. 14. NINES don't take responsibility for their lives. Jn 5:1-9. The story of the paralytic at the pool. He waited thirty-eight years for someone else to come. 15. NINES don't feel important or believe that they matter. I Cor 12: 12-30. All the members of the body are vital. 16. NINES can give even those they love the feeling that there is nothing special about them. Their emotions are suppressed. Jn 11:17-44. Puts us in touch with the strong emotional tone of Jesus' personality and his comfortability showing his emotions. 17. NINES can expect those they love strongly to give them their meaning and importance 5 (Enneagram No. Nine)

and hence become hysterical and clinging. Jn 20: 11-18. Recounts Jesus' command to Mary of Magdala that she not cling to him. 18. NINES do not handle strong feelings well. Heb 5:7-10. Recounts the variety of feelings that were part of the human journey of Jesus. 19. NINES are forgetful. Heb 6:9-12. The expression of God's remembrance of human goodness and the call to persevere in goodness. 20. NINES can be unconcerned with things not immediately present. Heb 3:15-19. Expresses the importance of the present moment. 46 21. NINES can be experienced as "really on" or really off." Jn 15:1-9. A call to consistency. Remain on the branch bearing fruit. 22. NINES are not concerned with the future. Jn 17. Jesus' concern for the future of his apostles. He prays for their needs. 23. NINES are sensual and often feel guilty about this, particularly their struggles with their lusts. Lk 7:36-50. Jesus loves and forgives the adulterous woman. 24. NINES in their effort to protect themselves from expressing strong feelings can be cold, or stiff. Lk 13:34-35. Shows Jesus lamenting openly over Jerusalem. He does not hide his strong feelings. 25. NINES are not punctual. Ps 40. A Psalm of waiting for God. The NINE can touch into their own experience of waiting and come to understand better what it means for them to keep others waiting. 26. NINES can forget detail. Mk 8: 1-10. At the multiplication of the loaves and fish there is the attention to the fragments. 27. NINES have a tendency to be lazy. Pr 6:6-1 1. The story of the idler and the ant! 28. NINES lack purpose. 2 Tm 1:6-14. A reminder to stir into a flame the gift of God. 29. NINES are stubborn. Ex 33:1-4. The plight of the stiff-necked Israelites. 30. NINES have a low level of awareness and become easily bored. Lk 1:46-55. Praying the Magnificat can keep alive the awareness of God's presence and gifting. 31. NINES can be perceived as selfish and involved with only about 1% of themselves. Jn 21: 15-17. The reminder that love is proved in service of the other. 32. NINES are hoarders. Mt 6:19-21. Do not lay up treasures. 33. NINES go very much according to their likes and dislikes. Jm 2:1-4. Sets forth two standards of judgements. 34. NINES are procrastinators. Lk 14:15-24. The invited guests lose their chance to enter the Kingdom because of their willingness to make excuses.

B) Giftedness To Rejoice In And Strengthen In Prayer

1. NINES are the peacemakers of the Enneagram. Ep 2:14-18. Christ is our peace. 2. NINES are unflappable and accepting of others. Jn 8:2-11. Recounts Jesus' unflappable and accepting attitude with the adulteress. 3. NINES are non-judgmental. Rm 14:7-12. We belong to the Lord and should not pass judgement on each other. 4. NINES are fair and can usually appreciate both sides of a situation. Ps 15. Praises the person who does no wrong to the neighbour. 5. NINES are the salt of the earth type personalities and in their giftedness can be very present to the now moment. Mt 6:25-34. Trust in providence. Living in the present securely. 6. NINES possess a quality of genuine groundedness. Col 2:6-7. Be rooted in God. 7. NINES have the gift of speaking a hard truth in a matter of fact way. 2 Cor 4:1-6. Speaks of the gift of honest, simple proclamation. 8. NINES are calm and can reassure others. Jn 2:1-12. Mary's concern and reassurance of another. She remains calm even in the face of Jesus' seeming rebuke of her request. 9. NINES have a sense of harmony or union with the world and others. Jn 17:20-26. Jesus' prayer that all may be one. It is a prayer close to the heart of a NINE. 10. NINES are undemanding and easy to be with. I P 2:1-3. The command not to be hard on others. 11. NINES are balanced. Ep 5:1-20. The call to keep a careful watch over one's conduct. 12. NINES are approachable. Ga 5:13-15. Place yourselves at the service of one another. 6 (Enneagram No. Nine)

for

13.

NINES are concerned for unity and harmony. Jm 4:1-3. An expression of great concern

unity. 14. NINES are gentle. Mt 11:28-30. Learn from me for I am gentle. 15. NINES are non-conformists with the ability to go against the stream when they need to. Mt 15:10-20. Jesus' words on what is clean and unclean, on the difference between the inside and the outside. 16. NINES are modest. Ep 4:7-16. Each of us has received God's favour in the manner God bestows it. 17. NINES are relaxed. Jn 4:5-26. The relaxation of Jesus with the woman of Samaria. 18. NINES are kindly. 2 Tm 2:22-26. Be kindly toward all. 19. NINES are unselfconscious. Lk 21: 1-4. Widow's mite. The woman's unawareness of the magnitude of her gift. 20. NINES make others feel important. Lk 19:1-10. The searching out of what is lost.

Reflection & Meditation For Number NINE

awareness
Deep down I'm slothful. That's my brokenness. I don't even bother to try to cover it up. There's no need to, since I have effectively persuaded myself and everybody else that I'm just easy-going. But the truth is that I try to avoid all conflict and am prepared to settle for peace at any price. I don't like to be upset and am always willing to paper over the cracks. To avoid facing problems I tend to sweep them under the carpet, denying that they exist, and make molehills out of mountains to soften the pain. I regularly settle for less. Basically, I'm cynical about human nature. I see nobody as a big deal, not even myself. I have a poor self-image and am not convinced of my own importance. The core of my laziness probably lies in my belief that nothing really matters and that, consequently, there's no great harm in taking the path of least resistance. I much prefer to get on with the bits and pieces rather than the things which demand responsibility and commitment. It is hard for me to make decisions and I tend to procrastinate. I regularly put off difficult tasks and become vague or obstinate when people try to pin me down. My lack of response is a form of passive aggression which I find very effective. Because I'm not a self-starter I'm inclined to be addictive. I generally have to look for stimulation outside of myself.

advice
We try so hard to manage our emotions at every moment that we can miss the beauty, the intensity and the thrill of the present. When we over-value being calm and peaceful the danger is that we find it difficult to become excited or enthusiastic about anything. We have to stop putting ourselves down and continually defining ourselves in terms of what we think others expect of us. Deepening our awareness that we are loved by God precisely for who we are can help us become more self-confident and independent. We will not then feel so overwhelmed by life's difficulties and, instead of withdrawing from the scene, will become actively involved, determine our priorities and accept responsibility for the decisions we make.

Attention
Since we live in the immediate world of the here-and-now, with all its conflict and all its calm, it 7 (Enneagram No. Nine)

can help us greatly to get in touch with the still centre within, where all is gift and harmony, To achieve this we could sit quietly in a church, a prayer room or some other peaceful spot. We don't need to use words, though the "Jesus Prayer" or a mantra may help give us focus. It is enough to enjoy being in God's presence. We mustn't mistake this for daydreaming or idleness. It is a letting go. The result is often a combination of being sensitively alert while being peacefully serene. When we risk losing ourselves in God, we find God in our deepest selves.

Scripture meditation for Number SEVEN 1) John 18:32-33 (We are not alone)
Our lack of a real sense of our selves brings with it a deep loneliness. We feel empty inside, as if there is nobody at home. But Jesus reminds us that God's Spirit dwells within each of us. Once we realise that we, too, are important and that we are never alone, we will not be afraid to make the inner journey to encounter the God in our hearts.

2) John 5:1-16 (Sitting by the pool)

The sick man at the House of Mercy (Bethesda) spent 38 years at the Sheep Pool waiting for a helping hand. When Jesus saw him there he told him to get up and walk. If we are prepared to seize the opportunities which come our way, we can find healing. On the other hand, if we just sit and wait for something to happen, life may simply pass us by.

3) Luke 8:22-25 (Calming the storm)

Life is not all plain sailing. It has its inevitable ups and downs. But if we trust in God's providence we will be at peace even in the midst of conflict and turmoil.

4) John 21:1-8 (Throw out the nets)

Our trust in God's providence can help point us in the right direction. Even when we think our contribution is not worth the effort, God encourages us to make a start. When we are prepared to work with others and do our bit, the results can often surprise us.

5) Matthew 10:28-31 (The hairs on our head are counted)

Nobody is insignificant in God's sight. We are loved and cared for individually. Recognising our value and worth is essential to being able to act autonomously. Understanding our dignity leads to greater personal freedom.

(Enneagram No. Nine)