VOL 20 NO 188 REGD NO DA 1589 | Dhaka, Sunday August 12 2012

http://www.fe-bd.com/more.php?news_id=139922&date=2012-08-12

Selection of bride and colour discrimination

Awareness of discrimination depends on parents attitudes. Even when a father laughs at a racial joke, it allows children to believe they can treat those people ignorantly. A child learns from their parents and teachers. The mental development happens when children learn from those who surround them, writes M S Siddiqui concluding his two-part article.
The Constitution of Bangladesh ensures that all citizens are equal before law and are entitled to equal protection of law. It imposes obligation upon the state saying that 'the State shall not discriminate against any citizen on grounds only of religion, race, caste, sex or place of birth' and 'no citizen shall, on grounds only of religion, race, caste, sex or place of birth be subjected to any disability, liability, restriction or condition with regard to access to any place of public entertainment or resort, or admission to any educational institution'. The constitution facilitates equality of opportunity for all citizens in respect of employment or office in the service of the Republic. It further states that no citizen shall, on grounds only of religion, race, caste, sex or place of birth, be ineligible for, or discriminated against in respect of, any employment or office in the service of the Republic. Generally the Constitution of Bangladesh does not leave any issue which accelerates discrimination based on race, colour, sex etc. But this instrument is not comprehensive and can not be enough to stand and contribute strongly against various forms of racial discrimination in our country.

Bangladesh is still far behind taking any specific legal and institutionalised steps to this effect as the provisions do not provide any specific preventive mechanism. There is no precise law for eradicating discrimination from our national and domestic life. Government and the civil society should act coherently to get rid of this mental disease of possessing and doing racial discrimination. People of all skin colours can have racism directed at them. The brown people in South Asia including Bangladesh discriminate for darker colour of skin. The women are more racial discrepancy prone than male particularly during the process of selection of bride. Racism even exists in western world directed at some groups of white people by other whites-- for example; Irish people have suffered from racial discrimination. However, racism against whites by whites is less evident compared to racism against Black or Asian people. The most common form of racism against white people in the UK is against asylum seekers, travellers or migrants from Eastern Europe. Marriage is an important issue in the lifetime of every individual in Bangladesh. The society still believes in settled marriage and the conservativeness of the society is surfaced in selecting a bride. It is widely considered that parents have not fulfilled their roles as parents until they have gotten their daughters married. The parents of a male child and those of a girl behave differently in the totalepisode of marriage. They insist on fair complexion girl for their son. They hardly realise the impact on the mind of unmarried girl at home. The manner and procedure of selecting a bride and notion of beauty is mostly the complexion of skin. They have tended to see whiter skin as more beautiful. Those individuals with fairer skin colour enjoyed more privileges and opportunities than those with dark skin. Darker skinned individuals were socially disadvantaged due to perception of society towards colour of skin. The key to choosing the right partner is to look for a person with a good character too, not simply a good personality. In most cases the decision of marriage is taken with formal interactions between two families. The decision makers in the family mainly go for beauty when looking for a

suitable bride. The key indicators of a bride seems appearance such as looks, height, weight, social and financial status of parents and may be educational achievements, profession, etc. A study in the USA involving black girls and dolls reveals-- when given the choice between a black doll and a white doll, the black girls disproportionately chose the latter. In 2005, another similar study found that 64 per cent of the girls preferred the white dolls. The girls attributed physical traits associated with whites, such as straighter hair, with being more desirable than traits associated with blacks. The children adapt prejudice characteristics around the age of five to eight. It is believed prejudice is connected to cognitive development. Cognitive development denotes thinking, problem solving, concept understanding, and information processing and overall intelligence. Socialisation and the imitation of parents' attitudes are also two major facts. Around the age of five to eight children's behaviours are the easiest to mold, and control. This is because around the ages of five to eight children appear to be the most resistant to change. "Depending on parents' values, racial socialisation can emphasise achievement, morality, racial equality and self-esteem. Awareness of discrimination also depends on parents' attitudes. Even when a father laughs at a racial joke, it allows children to believe they can treat those people ignorantly. A child learns from their parents and teachers. The mental development happens when children learn from those who surround them. The Child Development Theory demonstrates how children at a young age begin seeing colour. It is easier for an adolescent to become familiar with black and white. Even the media now suggests what colour is prettier. Children comprehend the race, sexuality and gender which results in them adapting these negative characteristics. No individual has a hand in having a bright colour or belonging to a particular family or born with special race, then should these things be the subject-matter or form the basis of boasting. We can only be proud for our performance which is solely earned by us. Numerous national and international instruments attempt to eliminate

discrimination based on race, sex, caste, colour etc. To some extent those met with success but mostly faced by disappointment. The selection process of bride is tough particularly in arranged marriages. This is a form of racial discrepancy on complexion of girls. The involvement of family is pretty high and family members particularly the women members show maximum conservatism and cruelty to define some minimum criteria for selection in terms of education, physical appearance, social status, family values, future career plans, etc. They sometimes unfairly and unjustly meet a girl three to four times. This process and declining the proposal have repercussions on the girl. It appears that in most cases, the families are not sure of their criteria of selection of bride. The criterion has missing qualities including maturity and responsibility, a positive attitude toward life, commitment to the relationship, emotional openness, integrity and high self-esteem etc. There should be specific codes of conduct regarding marriage negotiations with the basis of mutual respect and dignity. The developed society in west has widely discussed issue of racial discrepancy and citizens are concerned of any discrepancy. The media and society play the role of watchdogs. Most of the citizens of Bangladesh shared common physical features such as hair type, facial features, character and skills. To combat all types of racism, laws have been put in place to try and ensure that institutions like schools, universities, hospitals, the police, government departments and local councils take action to make sure they are not discriminating against people. This will help ensure that public services meet everyone's needs. The first part of the article was published on Friday under the heading 'Discrimination and the society'. The writer is a part time teacher of Leading University, and pursuing PhD in Open University, Malaysia.shah@banglachemical.com