Writing Effective Paragraphs Workshop 3

After the successful completion of this workshop you will be able to: Identify the structure of a paragraph through analysis of short texts. Identify effective topic sentences in a workshop task. Apply your understanding of topic sentences through writing topic sentences for a short text. Develop your writing skills through the writing, as a group, of a well structured paragraph.

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Workshop Three: Writing Effective Paragraphs

As a paragraph is the basic unit of an essay, an awareness of paragraph structure will facilitate your understanding of essay organisation.

What is a paragraph?
A paragraph is a group of related sentences that develops one main idea. It has three major structural parts: (1) a topic sentence, (2) supporting sentences, and (3) a concluding sentence. The writer may add a final comment after the conclusion. Let us have a look at an example of such a paragraph:

River Rafting River rafting is a challenging sport with important requirements. First of all, planning your trip carefully ensures your safety at all times. Therefore, the river-rafting company you choose should have a good safety record. You can select a river-rafting trip from level I (no experience) to level VI (the most experience). At level I, the river moves slowly and does not have many dangerous rocks and boulders, so you can actually enjoy the scenery. At each level up the scale, there is an increasing number of powerful waves and dangerous rocks. When the river is high from melting snow, the current is fast, and the ride is rough. Therefore, it is only for the most experienced river runner. In addition, river rafting requires special equipment. You ride an inflatable rubber boat with an expertly trained guide and a group of six to eight people. Everyone must wear a life jacket and a helmet and be able to use a paddle at the most difficult levels. Finally, you must be alert at all times. You must stay safely in the raft as it makes its way down the raging river. The guide will shout instructions, and the passengers must obey instantly and work as a team to avoid disaster. The chances of falling overboard are great. When someone does, the passengers will try to grab and pull him or her aboard. Because river conditions can be dangerous at the higher levels of difficulty, the wild, exciting adventure is only for the courageous and experienced. In short, if you are fearless and in good physical condition and can react quickly, river rafting is the ideal outdoor sport for you.

In the paragraph titled River Rafting, the first sentence is the topic sentence. It tells the reader what the paragraph is about: 'requirements for river rafting'. The fifteen supporting sentences that follow supply the details about river rafting. The seventeenth, or next to last sentence, is the concluding sentence. It makes a final statement about the topic and tells the reader that the paragraph is finished. The very last sentence is the writers comment about the subject.

Now, lets study each part of the paragraph in detail.

The Topic Sentence

A topic sentence is the most important sentence in a paragraph as it indicates what the paragraph is going to discuss. For this reason, the topic sentence is a helpful guide both to the writer and the reader: The writer can see what information to include. The reader can see what the paragraph is going to be about and is, therefore, better prepared to understand it. It is a complete sentence and is usually (but not always) the first sentence in the paragraph. Determining the subject of a topic sentence is a process of narrowing down an idea from general to specific. If you are given a specific writing assignment, such as an essay question in an examination, then what you can write about is limited. But, when your instructor suggests a very general topic, such as environment, education, or nuclear power, then you must narrow the subject to a particular aspect that can be discussed in one paragraph. For example, suppose you are interested in writing about sports. It would be impossible to cover such a big topic in one paragraph, so you narrow the subject to perhaps water sports, if that is your interest. Water sports is still, however, too broad a topic for a paragraph, so you might even further narrow the topic to a type of water sports, such as river rafting. The point is, you must narrow the subject of your paragraph to a specific focus so that you can write about it clearly, completely and effectively. The diagram below illustrates the process of narrowing down a general topic to a specific one. general

SPORTS
Water sports
on a river
dangerous
river rafting

specific

(adapted from Oshima and Hogue, Writing Academic English, p. 4)

At this stage we have narrowed the topic down to the specific subject of the topic sentence, which is now river rafting.

TOPIC SENTENCE:

River rafting topic

But what can we write about river rafting? The number of points we can make about it are endless. So, what we need is an idea that controls or limits the topic - a controlling idea. The controlling idea is the main point opinion or feeling that you have about the subject. The controlling idea makes a specific comment about the topic, which indicates what the rest of the paragraph will say about it. It limits or controls the topic to a specific aspect of it to be discussed in the space of a single paragraph. Putting your ideas in a funnel, as you did in the preceding exercise, can help you arrive at a controlling idea for a topic sentence. Asking questions about the topic, like why, who, what, which, when, where, and how, can help you narrow down your ideas further. Going back to the example of river rafting, the funnel now looks like this:

river rafting
dangerous
description
making choices
important requirement

So the paragraph will be about the important requirements of river rafting. Now we have found the topic sentence of our paragraph: TOPIC SENTENCE:

River rafting topic

is a challenging sport with important requirements. controlling idea

Look at this topic sentence: Convenience foods topic are easy to prepare. controlling idea

In this example, the topic is convenience foods. A specific comment is made about this topic - they are easy to prepare. From this sentence, the reader immediately knows that the supporting sentences in the remainder of the paragraph will explain or prove how quick and easy it is to prepare convenience foods and perhaps give examples. Heres another topic sentence: The native foods of Australias immigrant population are reflected in Australian cooking. In this example, the controlling idea is that Australians eat many foods from other countries. The reader can expect to read about examples of foreign food and how they are now part of Australian cooking.

Important points about writing topic sentences

1. A topic sentence is always a complete sentence. The following are NOT complete sentences and, therefore, cannot be topic sentences: Eating junk food. The importance of gold. How to open a bank account. a. A topic sentence contains both a topic and a controlling idea. It names the topic and then limits the topic to a specific area to be discussed in the space of a single paragraph. The following examples show how a topic sentence states both the topic and the controlling idea in a complete sentence: The average Australian teenager consumes enormous quantities of junk food. Gold is prized for two important characteristics. Opening a new bank account can be a frustrating experience for the newly arrived migrant.

A topic sentence should neither be too general nor too specific. If it is too general, the reader cannot tell exactly what the paragraph is going to discuss. If it is too specific, the writer may not have anything left to write about in the rest of the paragraph. Too general Australian food is terrible. Too specific Australian food is tasteless and greasy because Australians use too many canned, frozen and pre-packaged foods and because everything is fried in oil or butter. Good Australian food is tasteless and greasy. Do not include too many unrelated ideas in your topic sentence: Do not use too many ideas Melbourne is famous for its cosmopolitan atmosphere, its many tourist attractions and inconsistent weather. The three parts of this controlling idea are too unrelated for a single paragraph. They would require three separate paragraphs. Good Melbourne is famous for its cosmopolitan atmosphere. (adapted from Oshima and Hogue, Writing Academic English, p24)

Workshop Task One

Study the following pairs of sentences and tick the one you think would be a good, clear topic sentence for a paragraph.
1. Snow skiing on the highest mountainsides requires great skill. 2. Snow skiing is fun. 3. Exercise is healthy. 4. Jogging is healthy for several reasons. 5. Camping is a great outdoor activity. 6. Camping requires a variety of special equipment. 7. The legal age for drinking alcoholic drinks should be twenty-one for several reasons. 8. Drinking is dangerous to your health. 9. Small cars are popular. 10. Driving a VW Rabbit saves money. 11. Hong Kong is an exciting city. 12. Hong Kong is a shoppers dream world. 13. The violence on television can affect childrens emotional well being. 14. Watching television is a waste of time.

Supporting sentences
Supporting sentences develop the topic sentence. That is, they explain the topic sentence by giving reasons, examples, facts, statistics, and quotations. In order to choose details to support the topic sentence, rephrase it as a question. The answers will be your supporting sentences.

Lets look at a paragraph about Gold:

Gold, a precious metal, is prized for two important characteristics. First, of all, gold has a lustrous beauty that is resistant to corrosion. Therefore, it is suitable for jewellery, coins and ornamental purposes. Gold never needs to be polished and will remain beautiful forever. For example, a Macedonian coin remains as untarnished today as the day it was minted twenty-three centuries ago. Another important characteristic of gold is its usefulness to industry and science. For many years, it has been used in hundreds of industrial applications. The most recent use of gold is in astronauts suits. Astronauts wear gold-plated heat shields for protection outside the spaceship. In conclusion, gold is treasure not only for its beauty but also for its utility.

Remember that the topic sentence is: Gold is prized for two important characteristics.

If we turn that into a question and ask, What are those two characteristics? The supporting sentences give us the answer: First of all, gold has a lustrous beauty that is resistant to corrosion. Another important characteristic of gold is its utility in industry and science.

What about all the other sentences in the paragraph? Arent they supporting sentences?

YES. There are two kinds of supporting sentences - major and minor supporting sentences. Major supports directly support and develop the topic sentence, (and answer the topic sentence rephrased as a question), as the two supports above do. The minor supports, on the other hand, aim to develop the major supports. Going back to the paragraph above, the major and minor supports are:

Major support: First of all, gold has a lustrous beauty that is resistant to corrosion. Minor supports: - never needs to be polished - example of Macedonian coin Major support: Another important characteristic of gold is its utility in industry and science. Minor supports: - used in industrial applications - recent use in astronauts suits.

How to support
One of the biggest problems in student writing is that students often fail to prove their points. They fail because they do not support their points with concrete details. Their papers are too often full of opinions and generalisations without the factual details needed to support them. A paragraph should contain concrete support for the topic sentence. There are several kinds of concrete supporting details that you can use to support or prove your topic sentence. Among the most common are facts, statistics, examples, illustrative incidents and quotations (quotations will be discussed in the lecture on referencing).

Figures and Statistics

In academic writing quotations are perhaps the kind of support most often used, but most academic disciplines also require the occasional use of statistics as well. Figures and statistics from charts and tables are often used.

Facts versus opinions

Facts are objective statements of truths. - At sea level, water boils at 100 C. - Smoking increases the risk of lung cancer. - Women live longer than men.

Opinions are subjective statements based on a persons beliefs or attitudes. - Men are better drivers than women. - Australians are lazy. - Education students are the most responsible university students.

It is certainly acceptable to express opinions in academic writing. In fact, most lecturers will expect you to express your own ideas. However, you must support your opinions with concrete details. The more specific you are, the better you will be understood.

Heres an example of how to support opinion with factual detail: Unsupported fact: Concrete supporting detail: Smoking causes lung cancer.

The US Surgeon Generals 1964 report on smoking and lung cancer states: Cigarette smoking is causally related to lung cancer in men The risk of developing lung cancer increases with duration of smoking and the number of cigarettes smoked per day and is diminished by discontinuing.

Examples and Illustrative incidents

These are perhaps the easiest kind of supporting details to use. You dont have to search the library for information; you can often take examples from your own knowledge and personal experiences. Furthermore, examples and illustrative incidents are usually interesting and make your writing more enjoyable to read. However, there are two cautions you should keep in mind: 1. Remember that in formal, academic writing - research papers, theses etc examples and illustrative incidents are considered the weakest kind of support, so use them sparingly or in conjunction with other types of concrete support. 2. Make sure your examples really prove your point. For example, if you are trying to prove that men are better drivers than women, dont use famous racing car drivers as examples of superior drivers.

(adapted from Oshima and Hogue, Writing Academic English, p16 and p65-68)

The Concluding Sentence

Now that you know how to write a good topic sentence for a paragraph and how to support it, you should also learn how to write a good concluding sentence. A concluding sentence is not absolutely necessary; in fact, a concluding sentence is not customary for every paragraph in a multi-paragraph essay. However, for single paragraphs, especially long ones, a concluding sentence is helpful to the reader because it is a reminder of the important points.

When you write a concluding sentence, you can use one of the following methods: State the topic sentence in different words. Do not just copy the topic sentence.

Summarise some or all of the main points in the paragraph.

Use one of the following end-of-paragraph signals to introduce your concluding sentence:

Finally, In conclusion, In summary, Therefore, Thus, As a result, Indeed, In short, It is clear that We can see that

1.

Look at the model paragraph River Rafting again. How does the writer conclude - by restating the topic sentence or summarising the main points of the paragraph? How does the writer conclude the paragraph about Gold?

2.

(from Oshima and Hogue, Writing Academic English, p25)

Additional Workshop Tasks:

Now that you know about topic sentences, supporting sentences and concluding sentences, its your turn to put this knowledge into action! Take out an essay you are currently writing and see if any of your paragraphs can be improved why not ask one of your peers for their suggestions as well?... Alternatively, have a go at the following workshop activities (note: you dont have to do them all choose the ones that most interest you).

Writing Topic Sentences

Write good topic sentences for the following paragraphs in the space provided. Remember to include both a topic and a controlling idea.

Paragraph 1: ________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Australians relaxing at home, for example, may put on kimonos, which is a Japanese word. Australians who live in a warm climate may take an afternoon siesta on an outdoor patio without even realising that these are Spanish words. In their gardens, they may enjoy the fragrance of jasmine flowers, a word that came into English from Persia. They may even relax on a chaise lounge while sipping a drink made with vodka, words of French and Russian origin, respectively.

Paragraph 2: _______________________________________________________________

In European universities, students are not required to attend classes. In fact, professors in Germany generally do not know the names of the students enrolled in their courses. In Australia, however, students are usually required to attend all classes and may be penalised if they dont. Furthermore, in the European system, there is usually just one comprehensive examination at the end of the students entire four or five years of study. In the Australian system, on the other hand, there are usually numerous quizzes, tests, and homework assignments, and there is almost always a final examination in each course at the end of the semester. (from Oshima and Hogue, Writing Academic English, p24) 10

Supporting Sentences
I. For each of the following three paragraphs answer these questions: 1. What is the main idea? Where is it stated? 2. Which kinds of concrete supports have been used? 3. What words or phrases are used to introduce these supports?

A. Language and Perceptions Although we all possess the same physical organs for perceiving the world eyes for seeing, ears for hearing, noses for smelling, skins for feeling, and mouths for tasting our perception of the world depends to a great extent on the language we speak. In other words, we cannot perceive things that we have not named. Each language is like a pair of sunglasses through which we see the world. A classic example of the relationship between language and perception is the word snow. In the English language, there is only that one word to describe all of the possible kinds of snow. In Eskimo languages, however, there are as many as thirty-two different words for snow. For instance, the Eskimos have different words for falling snow, snow on the ground, snow packed as hard as ice, slushy snow, wind-driven snow, and what we might call cornmeal snow. In contrast, cultures that rarely experience cold weather and snow may have only one word to express several concepts that are differentiated in English. For example, the ancient Aztec languages of Mexico used only one word to mean snow, cold, and ice.

B. Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal communication, or body language, is communication by facial expressions, head or eye movements, hand signals, and body postures. It can be just as important to understanding as words are. Misunderstandings often amusing but sometimes serious can arise between people from different cultures if they 11

misinterpret nonverbal signals. Take, for example, the differences in meaning of a gesture very common in the United States: a circle made with the thumb and the index finger. To an American, it means that everything is okay. To a Japanese person, it means that you are talking about money. In France, it means that something is worthless, and in Greece, it is an obscene gesture. Therefore, an American could unknowingly offend a Greek by using that particular hand signal. The following incident illustrates how conflicting nonverbal signals can cause serious misunderstandings. While lecturing to his poetry class at Ain Shams University in Cairo, a British professor became so relaxed that he leaned back in his chair and revealed the bottom of his foot to the astonished class. Making such a gesture in Moslem society is the worst kind of insult. The next day the Cairo newspapers carried headlines about the student demonstration that resulted, and they denounced British arrogance and demanded that the professor be sent home.

C. World Population Growth The worlds population is growing at an ever-increasing rate. According to estimates and statistics compiled by the World Health Organization, it took 1,600 years for the Earth to acquire its first one-half billion people. It took only 200 years, or until 1800, for its population to double to one billion. It gained another billion people by 1930, a time span of only 130 years. The third billion was gained by 1964 after only 34 years, and the fourth billion after only ten years, in 1974. Population growth has slowed somewhat, so it took 13 years for the Earth to acquire its five billionth citizen. WHO estimates that the worlds population will reach the six billion mark before the end of the century.

(from Oshima and Hogue, Writing Academic English, p68 and 69)

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Concluding Sentences
Underline the topic sentences of the following two paragraphs and write suitable concluding sentences for each.

Paragraph 1 Alternative energy sources are becoming increasingly attractive as the energy crisis becomes more severe. Solar heating systems, which use the suns radiation as a source of energy, are a promising alternative energy source. Nuclear power plants are already in operation in several parts of the country. Government and private industry are even investigating the possibility of capturing the power of the ocean waves and tides for conversion into usable energy. Coal is once again becoming an acceptable fuel as the nation searches for solutions to the energy shortage. Even garbage is seen as a potential source of energy. In some communities, garbage is burned to heat buildings and light city streets. __________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2 You can reduce petrol consumption in your car by careful driving and good maintenance. Dont speed. Petrol consumption is about 10 percent higher at 60 kilometres per hour than at 50 kilometres per hour and even greater at higher speeds. Avoid fast stops and starts because they wear your tyres out in addition to using a lot of petrol. Check your tyre pressure often because under-inflated tyres reduce petrol mileage considerably. Get your car tuned up regularly because an inefficiently operating engine results in inefficient fuel consumption. _______________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________

(adapted from Oshima and Hogue, Writing Academic English, p27)

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