Sex education helps young be responsible

WITHOUT access to sexuality education and sexual and reproductive health services, adolescents and youth, especially girls, face daunting reproductive and sexual health problems: unintended pregnancies, unsafe abortions, maternal mortality and morbidity, violence, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) including HIV, exploitation, and discrimination on the basis of gender or sexual orientation. As in many countries, some 60% of the population of Malaysia is under 25 years of age. Evidence shows that sexuality education programmes have a positive effect on initiation of sex, frequency of sex, number of sexual partners, condom use and other sexual behaviours that can prevent negative sexual and reproductive health outcomes. Sexuality education also enables them to make informed decisions when they become young adults later in preventing unintended pregnancies, baby dumping and getting STIs. While it is desirable for parents to provide sexuality education to their children, many parents dread it, and some rely on available educational materials. Parental guidance is one of the most influential means in getting messages across to the children especially when it is delivered with warmth and openness. Children are curious and naive, they keep looking for answers until they are satisfied. Therefore, parents have to be prepared with sufficient and appropriate information to educate their children. The book Where Did I Come From? represents a good resource. It should not be brushed away. As long as sex education is presented in a wholesome manner its biological and moral aspects intact to the young, there is less danger of children becoming prey to irresponsible adults or sexual perverts. We need to teach our young to protect them, not to expose them to irresponsible sex. Changing social conditions, rapid urbanisation, and an early start to puberty and delays in marriage, the accelerated spread of information and communication technologies across cultural boundaries, and the gradual decline of extended families have all contributed to changes in relationships and sexual behaviours among young people. All these have prompted the Federation of Reproductive Health Associations Malaysia (FRHAM) to develop a comprehensive module called Reproductive Health of Adolescent Module. FRHAM, as a leading sexual and reproductive health NGO, has partnered with relevant organisations in conducting numerous training sessions on how to use the module and has reached out to many young people in the country in improving their knowledge and skills with regard to issues on sexuality. We strongly believe that it is important to inform and educate children so that they can make informed and responsible decisions in their life. Dr KAMARUZAMAN ALI, Secretary-General, Federation of Reproductive Health Associations Malaysia

Sex Education: What Children Should Learn and When

When talking to your kids about sex, make sure the conversation is age-appropriate.

Explain things in a way that your child can understand, given their age. Dont think you have to cover everything at once. Younger kids are interested in pregnancy and babies, rather than the act of sex.

Read our tips for parents about sex education and why sex education is important. Every child is different, but here is a rough guide to what children should be able to understand about sex and reproduction at different ages. Infancy: Up to two years Toddlers should be able to name all the body parts including the genitals. Most two-year-olds know the difference between male and female, and can usually figure out if a person is male or female. Early childhood: Two to five years old Children should understand the very basics of reproduction: a man and a woman make a baby together, and the baby grows in the womans uterus. Children should understand their body is their own. Teach them about privacy around body issues. They should know other people can touch them in some ways but not other ways. Middle childhood: Five to eight years old Children should have a basic understanding that some people are heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual. They should also know what the role of sexuality is in relationships. Children should know about the basic social conventions of privacy, nudity, and respect for others in relationships. Children should be taught the basics about puberty towards the end of this age span, as a number of children will experience some pubertal development before age 10. Childrens understanding of human reproduction should continue. This may include the role of sexual intercourse. Tween years: Nine to 12 years old In addition to reinforcing all the things above they have already learned, tweens should be taught about safer sex and contraception. Tweens should understand what makes a positive relationship and what makes for a bad one. Tweens should also learn to judge whether depictions of sex and sexuality in the media are true or false, realistic or not, and whether they are positive or negative. Teenagers: 13 to 18 years old Teens are generally very private people. However, if parents have spoken to their child early about sex increases the chance that teens will approach parents when difficult or dangerous things come up

Sex education will benefit children

There is no session in secondary schools that promotes safe sex education. I am not sure why we still dont have it. The word sex itself is like a taboo in Malaysia. We live in a multi-religious society and I am sure every religion believes that sex before marriage is immoral but I also believe that no religion stops people from gaining education in a good way, sex education included. Parents dont talk about sex with their children because they may feel awkward and uncomfortable to talk about it. By doing this, parents dont realise the adverse effects. I say this because when children are curious, they keep looking for answers until they are satisfied. They tend to be more interested in entertainment or that kind of issue. So what they do is, they will openly talk about sex with their friends, and they will go to the Internet. Children are nave. By checking the Internet they may fall for the porn websites. Some of them may end up as porn addicts and later, they want to try it themselves. That is why I am worried because I really dont want to see a boy from Malaysia breaking the record of Alfie Patten, who became a father at the age of 13. I suggest that schools should have a session teaching children about sex. I would like to stress here that it is not to encourage children to have safe sex but to teach them about sex for academic purpose and in a protected environment. It should be done in a protected environment because, unlike surfing the Internet, students will be taught academically and monitored. There may be debate on when to start sex education or also how much information to give. I think we should not be worrying about this issue because Malaysia has many doctors, psychologists and others who are capable of doing research on it. The importance of having sex education is to give early exposure to teenagers on how sexual relationship works and also to make them aware of the risks of having sex before marriage. For example, unprotected sex may result in diseases like HIV, and may also result in unwanted pregnancy. They can also become victims of sex abuse, especially girls. There are many things that can be taught during such sessions, such as reproduction and reproductive health. It will be good if the session is delivered in interesting ways so that students will not get bored easily. It is also important to make sure that teenagers are comfortable listening to it. I believe it will be even better to separate boys and girls because usually girls are shy in front of boys. I also think it should also include some religious talk so that they will know their responsibilities better. I hope this could be implemented soon because I believe children need the information so that they can be protected. NUR ATIKAH MAZLAN, UiTM, Shah Alam.

Sex education: Talking to toddlers and pre-schoolers about sex

Sex education often begins with a child's curiosity about his or her body. Here's how to set the stage for sex education and how to answer your child's questions. Sex education is a topic many parents would prefer to avoid. And if you have a young child, you might think you're off the hook at least for a while. But that's not necessarily true. Sex education can begin anytime. Let your child set the pace with his or her questions. Early exploration As children learn to walk and talk, they also begin to learn about their bodies. Open the door to sex education by teaching your child the proper names for his or her sex organs, perhaps during bath time. If your child points to a body part, simply tell him or her what it is. This is also a good time to talk about which parts of the body are private. When your child asks questions about his or her body or yours don't giggle, laugh or get embarrassed. Take the questions at face value. Offer direct, age-appropriate responses. If your child wants to know more, he or she will ask. Expect self-stimulation Many toddlers express their natural sexual curiosity through self-stimulation. Boys may pull at their penises, and girls may rub their genitals. Teach your child that masturbation is a normal but private activity. If your child starts masturbating in public, try to distract him or her. If that fails, take your child aside for a reminder about the importance of privacy. Sometimes, frequent masturbation can indicate a problem in a child's life. Perhaps he or she feels anxious or isn't receiving enough attention at home. It can even be a sign of sexual abuse. Teach your child that no one is allowed to touch the private parts of his or her body without permission. If you're concerned about your child's behavior, consult his or her doctor. Curiosity about others By age 3 or 4, children often realize that boys and girls have different genitals. As natural curiosity kicks in, you may find your child playing "doctor" or examining another child's sex organs. Such exploration is far removed from adult sexual activity, and it's harmless when only young children are involved. As a family matter, however, you may want to set limits on such exploration. Everyday moments are key Sex education isn't a single tell-all discussion. Instead, take advantage of everyday opportunities to discuss sex. If there's a pregnancy in the family, for example, tell your child that babies grow in a special place inside the mother. If your child wants more details on how the baby got there or how the baby will be born, offer them. Consider these examples: How do babies get inside a mommy's tummy? You might say, "A mom and a dad make a baby by holding each other in a special way." How are babies born? For some kids, it might be enough to say, "Doctors and nurses help babies who are ready to be born." If your child wants more details, you might say, "Usually a mom pushes the baby out of her vagina." Why doesn't everyone have a penis? Try a simple explanation, such as, "Boys and girls bodies are made differently." Why do you have hair down there? Simplicity often works here, too. You might say, "Our bodies change as we get older." If your child wants more details, add, "Boys grow hair near their penises, and girls grow hair near their vaginas."

As your child matures and asks more-detailed questions, you can provide more-detailed responses. Answer specific questions using correct terminology. Even if you're uncomfortable, forge ahead. Remember, you're setting the stage for open, honest discussions in the years to come.