Counseling Theories Integration Paper Erin P.

OConnor Trinity Evangelical Divinity School

ST 5310 01 Counseling Theories Professor Judy Dabler

Counseling Theories Integration Paper 2 Submitted: June 08, 2009 Introduction Counseling Theories class has provided me with the opportunity to begin to explore the different theoretical frameworks of counseling. From my preliminary exposure to the theories presented in class, I believe that Murray Bowens family systems theory best reflects many of my thoughts on counseling at this time. I believe that Bowens family systems theory best reflects my current approach to counseling for several reasons. First, I have experienced first-hand the power of looking at the intergenerational structure of my family. Second, I have seen and experienced the destructive nature of relationship triangles that have been filled with anxiety and angst. And last, I have noticed that as I have differentiated myself more from my family of origin there has been a ripple effect through all of the family relationships, causing them to be adjusted and realigned. I believe that Bowens thoughts on the multigenerational transmission process, relationship triangles, and the differentiation of self speak directly to my own experience. However, Bowens family systems theory will not be the only framework from which I will counsel. The other primary framework from which I will draw in my practice of counseling will be from my Christian worldview. My Christian faith is at the very core of who I am. My thoughts, actions, and responses are filtered through a Biblical foundation of conservative Christian values. It is from this framework that I will examine Bowens theory and practice of therapy. Key Concepts of Bowen Family Systems Theory A family systems perspective holds that individuals are best understood through assessing the interactions between and among family members (Corey, 2009, p. 412). The patient is seen as the family, not just the sick individual within the family. In family systems

Counseling Theories Integration Paper 3 theory, the system of the family is greater than the sum of the parts. Change in one part of the system will invariably affect change in other parts, thus changing the entire system. The family systems therapist tends to the structure of the family and the processes within the family. Bowen family systems theory (or transgenerational family theory) sees the family as an emotional unit, a network of interlocking relationships, best understood when analyzed within a multigenerational or historical framework (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2008, p.175). According to Bowens theory, there are eight interlocking concepts or forces that shape families and their members. These concepts include differentiation of self, triangles, nuclear family emotional system, family projection process, emotional cutoff, multigenerational transmission process, sibling position, and societal regression (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2008, p. 179). For the purpose of this paper, I will take a closer look at only three of these processes: differentiation of self, triangles, and multigenerational transmission process. Differentiation of Self According to Kottler (2008), Family systems therapy introduced the concept of differentiation of self from the family (p. 300). Differentiation of self is the corner stone of [Bowens] theory. Differentiation defines persons according to the degree they are able to distinguish between their thinking process and their feeling process (Wynn, 1987, p. 146). It is demonstrated by the degree to which a person can think, plan, and follow his or her own values, particularly around anxiety-provoking issues, without having his or her behavior automatically driven by the emotional cues from others (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2008, p. 180). And according to Waanders (1987), Persons who are clearly differentiated selves are freer to relate to one another in mature patterns, maintaining a clear sense of self while remaining connected to others, and enhanc[ing] the functioning of the relationships (p. 100-101).

Counseling Theories Integration Paper 4 In response to Bowens differentiation of self, there are two ways in which this concept can be applied in a biblical context. First, Christian individuals are always a part of several larger systems, including the Church. What makes a strong church are individuals with a strong sense of self, individuals who have a strong set of values which will not be moved even in the midst of highly emotional challenges. In this way, Christians are called to be in the world, being agents of change and messengers of Christ but not of the world, following evil ways and desires (John 15:19, John 17: 14-16, New American Standard Bible). Only a well differentiated self can meet this challenge successfully. Second, differentiation of self is important to Christs command to love your neighbor as yourself (Luke 10: 27). An individuals ability to love the other and God is contingent upon ongoing differentiation of self (love yourself), which is not a narcissistic self-love (idolatry). A differentiated person would enter into emotional closeness as a free choice as opposed to being a desperate need, which represents one of the aspects of biblical love (David, 1979, p. 262). In some regards, Bowen has [unintentionally] shifted the focus back to a more biblical view of the individual as a part of one or more larger wholes (Richardson, 2005, p. 381). Triangles In addition to how well individuals differentiate themselves from their families, family systems theory also emphasizes emotional tension within the individual or in the persons relationships (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2008), p. 183). When tensions are high between two individuals, one or both of the individuals will bring in a third person in an attempt to relieve the emotional anxiety. This process produces an emotional triangle. Triangles are a three-person (mother-father-child) or a two persons-to-object (husband-wife-money) system. Triangles are the molecule or building block of any relationship system (Bowen, 1978, p. 307). Healthy

Counseling Theories Integration Paper 5 triangles that reduce anxiety and promote emotional stability occur when the third individual acts as a neutral party, listening to both sides of the argument without becoming emotionally involved in it. If the third person in the triangle becomes emotionally involved in the tension, an unhealthy triangle can form, which can destabilize the relationship further, causing greater stress and anxiety, and often propagating the tension out to others (Bowen, 1978, p. 306-307). From a Biblical worldview, Bowens triangles can actually offer an interesting look at how Christ can enter peoples relationships with each other. First, in Christian marriage the relationship between husband, wife, and Christ represents one of these triangles. The description of this triangle can be found in Ephesians 5 where the wife is commanded to submit to and to respect her husband (vs 22, 33) as unto Christ (vs 22, 23) and the husband is to love his wife (vs 25, 28, 33) just as Christ loved the church (vs 25, 29). Here the marriage triangle is strengthened by the presence of Christ within it (David, 1979, p. 261). Second, by expanding this idea of Christ being one of the corners of a triangle between two (not married) individuals, Christians can follow the example of Christ by loving others because He first loved us (1John 4:19). This passage demonstrates a person-person-God love triangle. One final note, I find it interesting that God is present in three distinct persons, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, forming the perfect triangle where perfect emotional health and complementarity exist. Multigenerational Transmission Process In addition to differentiation of self and relationship triangles, Bowen stresses the concept of the multigenerational transmission process. The multigenerational transmission process defines the principle of projection of varying degrees of immaturity (undifferentiation) to different children when the process is repeated over a number of generations (Bowen, 1972, p. 159). Severe dysfunction is conceptualized as the result of chronic anxiety transmitted over

Counseling Theories Integration Paper 6 several generations (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2008, p. 189). This transmission process produces individuals in subsequent generations with greater dysfunction, poorer differentiation, and a greater reactivity to anxiety and stress. Since the multigenerational process provides a base from which to make predictions in the present generation and gives us an overview of what to expect in coming generations (Bowen, 1972, p. 160), I believe that examples of the multigenerational transmission process can be found within scripture. First, in Exodus 34: 7 we read where God says to Moses, He will by no means leave [the guilty] unpunished, visiting the iniquity [consequences] of fathers on the children and on the grandchildren to the third and fourth generations." This is an example of how the consequences of the actions of one generation ripple through three additional generations. In the New Testament, there are positive examples of the multigenerational transmission process that can be found in Acts 11: 14 and Acts 16 were the results of one family members conversion produces a ripple affect throughout the entire household. The entire household most likely included children, who would also be saved, bringing the Gospel to their offspring as well. Bowens theory looks at the differentiation of self, triangles, and the multigenerational transmission process and how they relate to healthy human functioning. However, before I look at healthy human functioning, I will examine Bowens view of human nature. Human Nature Bowens view of humans and the family is a naturalistic one. It is derived from the biological view of the human family as one type of living system (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2008, p. 178). The human family system sprung from the evolutionary process and not from

Counseling Theories Integration Paper 7 the human brain The emotional system is assumed to have been shaped and molded during the evolutionary process (Kerr & Bowen, 1988, p. 25 26). In contrast, a Biblical view of humans and the human family is quite different from Bowens. According to scripture, humankind stands at the panicle of Gods creative acts. God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them (Genesis 1:27). According to Kirwan (1984), Human beings stand in a unique position because they alone have been created in Gods image (p. 73). This Imago Dei defines who we are in relation to God and in relation to each other. In relation to God, humans are His children, made for His glory. We are made for Him as the eye is made for light (Darling, 1969, p. 8). In relation to each other, God designed us to be social individuals drawn into communities to love, to serve, and to care for one another. Also, Psalm 8: 4-5 proclaims, What is man that You take thought of him, and the son of man that You care for him? Yet You have made him a little lower than God, and You crown him with glory and majesty! (emphasis mine). There are no other creatures that scriptures speak of as being created a little lower than God. Rather than being the next rung on the evolutionary ladder, humans are a special creation, set aside for Gods purposes. Healthy Human Functioning Based on Bowens theory, wellness within the individual is determined by the degree of differentiation of self experienced by the individual from the family while remaining in relationship with the family and its other members. Healthy relationships are considered to be open. An open relationship system is one in which an individual is free to communicate a high percentage of inner thoughts, feelings, and fantasies to another who can reciprocate (Bowen, 1991, p. 80).

Counseling Theories Integration Paper 8 Some of the Christian aspects of differentiation are discussed earlier in this paper. In addition, Ephesians 4 speaks of healthy Christian functioning, which can also be seen as a type of differentiation. As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming; but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ (vs 14-15). This passage also encourages open relationship systems by speaking the truth in love. From a Christian point of view, I believe that one aspect of healthy human functioning can be determined by the degree of differentiation developed in an individual. Human Dysfunction For Bowen, human dysfunction is the inverse of healthy human functioning. According to Bowen, people at the low end of the [differentiation of self] scale are those whose emotions and intellect are so fused that their lives are dominated by the feelings of those around them (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2008, p. 182). These individuals experience a high level of anxiety and stress, which they cannot relieve themselves. They remain so fearful and anxious that they sacrifice any sense of self in order to be accepted by others (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2008, p. 182). Also, these individuals maintain closed communication systems. The closed communication system is an automatic emotional reflex to protect self from the anxiety. (Bowen, 1991, p. 80). In one sense, I believe that Bowens thoughts on human dysfunction match well with the Christian worldview, but I believe that he misses the origins of this human dysfunction. The source of all human dysfunction is sin. An important result of the fall is mental and emotional

Counseling Theories Integration Paper 9 suffering, formally labeled psychopathology (Kirwan, 1984, p. 38). Sin breaks humankinds relationship with God (see Genesis 3: 8-10, 22-24), and it breaks peoples relationships with each other (Genesis 3: 15-16). It even breaks humankinds relationship with the rest of creation (Genesis 3: 17-19). We were intended to relate to our Creator and to other human beings in a unique and fulfilling way (Kirwan, 1984, p. 38). The root of human suffering and dysfunction is the sin that separates individuals from the relationships for which they were designed. The Therapeutic Process Goal of Therapy The one most important goal of family systems therapy is to help family members toward a better level of differentiation of self (Bowne, 1978, p. 527). Differentiation of self will promote detriangulation, repair any emotional cutoffs, and will encourage an increase in cognitive functioning and a decrease in emotional reactivity (Walsh, 1982, p. 27). When viewed within the Christian context, I believe that this is consistent with my theological framework. However, I do believe that it falls short because it does not address the affects of sin, brokenness, and human suffering on human relationships. Therapists Function and Rule The most important aspect of the therapy depends on the therapists emotional functioning, his ability to stay neutral in an emotional field, and his knowledge of triangles (Bowen, 1978, p. 313). The therapist is to maintain a detached-involved position (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2008, p. 198). He or she is also a coach and a research investigator (asking the families hundreds of questions about the family system and avoiding interpretations (Bowen, 1972, p. 165)). And finally, the therapist is expected to work on himself or herself in order to increase differentiation and reduce any emotional involvement with the clients problems.

Counseling Theories Integration Paper 10 From a Christian perspective, there are arguments for both a detached-involved therapist as well as a therapist who joins the family system in therapy. When the story of the woman at the well is studied (John 4: 4-30), Christs involvement with the woman is calm and apparently unemotional. And yet, the woman experiences a transformation and goes to share it with others. However, in His time with the disciples, Jesus puts himself right in the middle of the emotional process becoming a part of the disciples lives and calling them to join Him on His journey. The disciples lives are changed because of the relationship they entered into with Christ. Theoretical Helping Process The therapeutic helping process of Bowens family systems therapy is a cognitive process. The therapeutic principle is to keep tension low (Bowen, 1972, p. 174). Within the therapeutic environment, the family learns ways to detect and solve problems that are keeping members stuck, and it learns about patterns that have been transmitted from generation to generation (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2008, p. 465). Patients who can work out their problems with the family of origin can carry over their solutions to other members of the family and their own descendents (Wynn, 1987, P. 145). While this therapeutic helping process does not seem to conflict with a Christian worldview, I am struck by how Christ used cognitive processes to increase tension within individuals rather than decrease tension (see the case of the rich man in Matthew 19: 21-24). I believe the tension Christ provoked was meant to motivate individuals to change and to choose to follow Him. Strategies and Techniques There are several strategies and techniques that Bowenian therapists use. First, the present approach involves constant activity by the therapist, who asks questions of [one

Counseling Theories Integration Paper 11 individual], defocusing feelings, while the other [family members] listen (Bowen, 1972, p. 172). He or she then reverses the process so that other family members answer questions while the first participant listens. If working with only one family member, time is spent teaching the client about how family systems function. Second, family members (or the individual) take time in constructing a family genogram that includes at least three generations. The genogram is used by both the therapist and the client(s) as a means to see relationship patterns over several generations in a visual way. And third, participants in family therapy are coached to visit with family members who are not present. These Voyages Home are meant to repair old fractures in relationships (Wynn, 1987, p. 145). None of these strategies or techniques conflict with my Christian worldview. In fact, I see biblical examples of each in scripture. One of the ways in which Christ challenged people was through the process of asking questions (some examples of this may be found in Mathew 8 & 9). Also, the Bible is filled with genealogies and the family histories of many individuals. In the stories relationship patterns emerge that are meant to guide us and to teach us lessons (see the stories of Moses and Aaron in Exodus, David and Nathan in 2 Samuel, or Ruth and Naomi in Ruth). And finally, the Voyages Home could describe what seems like as a redemptive process of reconciliation. Application Bowens family systems theory has many applications. It is useful in working with twoparent families were the therapist works exclusively with the parents. As the parents improve their relationship, the childs (or childrens) symptomatic behavior decreases within the family unit. It is also useful in working with one spouse in preparation for a more long-term process with both spouses. In this case, there is typically one motivated spouse and one antagonistic

Counseling Theories Integration Paper 12 spouse. Therapy begins with the motivated spouse with the hopes that as the emotional tension decreases, the antagonistic spouse asks to participate in the sessions. Bowenian therapists can also work with a single family member. In this case, the therapist educates the one family member on triangulation and differentiation, and he or she guides the client in observing his or her family dynamics in order to make changes within those dynamics by relating to family members differently (avoiding triangulation and exercising a greater degree of differentiation). Multiple family group therapy is also used to encourage families to learn from other families without becoming emotionally involved with them. Conclusion While this is only a preliminary discussion on the integration of the psychological theory of Murray Bowen with the Christian faith, it seems that some of Bowens ideas run parallel to those found in the Bible. Richardson (2005) believes, Bowen has shifted the focus back to a more biblical view of the individual as a part of one or more larger wholes (p. 381). While Richardsons comment may be overstating the reality of how Bowens theory interacts with the Christian faith, it is certainly true that when Bible texts are used in combination with family systems therapy, the healing potential of the counseling situation may be greatly enhanced (Blessing, 2000, p. 45).

Counseling Theories Integration Paper 13 REFERENCES Blessing, K. (2000). Murray Bowens Family Systems Theory as Bible Hermeneutic Illustrated Using the Family of the Prodigal Son. Journal of Psychology and Christianity, (19)1, 38-46. Bowen, M. (1972). Family Therapy and Family Group Therapy. In H. I. Kaplan & B. J. Sadock (Eds), Group Treatment of Mental Illness (pp. 145-181). New York: Jason Aronson, Inc. Bowen, M. (1978). Family Therapy in Clinical Practice. New York: Jason Aronson, Inc. Bowen, M. (1991). Family Reaction to Death. In F. Walsh & M. McGoldrick (Eds), Living Beyond Loss: Death in the Family (pp. 79-92). New York: W. W. Norton & Co. Corey, G. (2009). Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy (8th ed.). Belmont, CA: Thomas Higher Education. Darling, H. W. (1969). Man in Triumph. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan. David, J. R. (1979). The Theology of Murray Bowen or the Marital Triangle. Journal of Psychology and Theology (7)4, 259-262. Goldenberg, H., & Goldenberg, I. (2008). Family Therapy: An Overview (7th ed.). Belmont, CA: Thomas Higher Education. Kerr, M. & Bowen, M. (1988). Family Evaluation: An Approach Based on Bowen Theory. New York: W. W. Norton & Co. Kirwan, W. T. (1984). Biblical Concepts for Christian Counseling: A Case for Integrating Psychology and Theology. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House Company. Kottler, J. A. & Shepard, D. S. (2008). Introduction to Counseling: Voices in the Field. Belmont, CA: Thomson Higher Education.

Counseling Theories Integration Paper 14 Richardson, R. W. (2005). Bowen Family Systems Theory and Congregational Life. Review & Expositor, (102)3, 379-402. Waanders, D. D. (1987). Ethical Reflections on the Differentiation of Self in Marriage. The Journal of Pastoral Care, 41(2), 100-110. Walsh, F. (1982). Conceptualizations of Normal Family Functioning. In F. Walsh (Ed.), Normal Family Processes (pp. 3-42). New York: The Guilford Press. Wynn, J. C. (1987). The Family Therapist. Old Tappan, NJ: Fleming H. Revell Company.