The Christian

Dimensions of
Marriage
Marriage as a Contract
• Accdg. to the Family Code of Philippines
“ A special contract of permanent union between man and
woman entered into in accordance with law for the
establishment of conjugal and family life.
It is the foundation of the family and an inviolable social
institution whose nature, consequences and incidents are
governed by law and not subject to stipulation by the spouses.”

• A special one
a. Permanent union
- independent of the freewill of man
- a point of no return
b. Exclusive for man and woman vs. same sex marriages
• The necessity of marital consent
a. Indispensable and irrevocable
b. Needs maturity
Obstacles rendering the persons incapable of free consent

1. lack of sufficient reason (under the influence of illegal drugs or

alcohol)

2. grave lack of due discretion ( grave lack of psychological maturity

proportionate to the challenging decision of marriage)

3. psychological incapacity to assume the essential obligations of

marriage ( ex. An unbearable anti-social character- making the
conjugal life into hell; No spiritual communication between the
spouses)

“Only the incapacity, not the difficulty.”

4. ignorance ( do not have a minimum knowledge regarding the nature

of marriage)

5. error (false knowledge on matrimonial fidelity, indissolubility or

sacramentality )
Marriage as a Covenant: Ends
Accdg. to Canon 1055, 1983
“The matrimonial, by which a man and a woman establish
themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature
ordered towards the good of the spouses and procreation /
education of children; this covenant between baptized person has
been raised by Christ to the dignity of a sacrament.”

1. a love-covenant (biblically based)- “I will be your God and you will be

my people” and Jesus and His Church (by shedding his blood)
2. in Jewish tradition ( equal to a blood relationship)
3. must be based on a special friendship - a dynamic and holy alliance
(between the couple and God) and an open-minded commitment
4. Common misconceptions
1. Good sex = Good marriage?
2. No rules to live by
3. Not to grow old alone
4. A sign of masculinity
5. For fame and security
• “Story of Us”
- Fighting becomes a condition, not an exemption.
- Mend the fight with sex / never go to bed angry/ nobody’s
fault
- Drawing the world one partner wants it to be – leaving the
other with no choice – everything is one partner
- One loves who he/she was but not what he/she becomes.
You
don’t change the person to be the kind of person you want
him/her to be.
- However, personality must have ROOM for change.
- Open communication - transparency
- Jealousy – lack of trust
- Eye contact
- spontaneity in conjugal act
- life is not always a clear cut ( marriage made in heaven-
bed of roses)
- No perfect marriage – mere illusion?
Ends of Marriage
• The Good of the Spouses

“Conjugal love involves a totality of all elements… this aims at a

deeply personal unity, a unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads to
forming one heart and soul” – Pope John Paul II

- Love is the SOUL of marriage.

• The Good of the Children

- fruits of conjugal love, extension of the lasting pact and witnesses
of a couple’s unwavering fidelity to each other.
- participating in God’s creative act
- not burden but gifts from God, the crowning glory of marriage
(GS 42)
- responsible parenthood – providing them with proper nurturing for
them to achieve the fullness of their lives and become also
responsible spouses and parents ( vs. mas marami, mas masaya)
Properties of Marriage
• Unity or Exclusivity: Enriched by the Spouses’ Faithfulness

- vs. extramarital relationship

- Self-giving love is expressed in fidelity to each other.
- not only to exclude others but also to unite in a more
interpersonal
intimacy ( two independence interdependence)

“ By its nature conjugal love requires the inviolable fidelity of the

spouses. This is the consequence of the gift of themselves which
they make to each other. Love seeks to be definitive; it cannot be
an arrangement until further notice.” (CCC 1646)

- “Sapagkat kami ay tao lamang.” difficult but not impossible

- vs. macho image ( Ok lang, lalake eh!)

 Fidelity
• not really a goal but a means of growing in their conjugal love.

Forgiveness
• not condoning the spouse’s wrong doing, ignoring, burying
it in memory
but
opening one’s heart and
extending one’s hand to the beloved
bringing back that trust and
giving the person the chance to enter once again into his/her
life

Fidelity that transforms,

• Indissolubility or Permanence: Enriched by the Spouses’
Struggles for Lastingness
- “Let no man separate what God has joined” ( Mk. 10: 9-12)
- the couple should not dissolve, but they, in fact, cannot
dissolve the
marriage bond
- Is it a cruel teaching esp. for those who can’t bear each other
any
longer? Can they contract another marriage? Each one
deserves to be
happy?
- Faith is a necessity to appreciate its indissolubility.
- Church Teachings: Christ’s rejection of divorce and
remarriage;
the original vision of marriage in God’s
plan: a
covenant
- demands lastingness – a lifetime project to bring their love
• Openness to Fertility: Enriched by Fruitfulness in the
Marital Life

- the physical capacity to have children through sexual union

- not all sexual acts of the couple can lead actually to
procreation?
- Humanae Vitae 11, Paul VI - “sexual union takes place while
observing
the laws of the generative processes and the natural laws and rhythm of
fertility.”
- John Paul II – by the conjugal act’s intimate structure which is naturally
designed
for procreation, still signifies potential fruitfulness
- first fruit of marriage = the growth of the couple as persons ( from
giving, self –
sacrificing
- The life of childless spouses can still be fruitful – their marriage
 deep
charity, hospitality and willing sacrifice
Marriage As a Sacrament
• Council of Trent – as a dogma
• 3 stages of making it a sacrament:
1. feast at Cana (Jn.2:1-11)
2. “What God has joined together, let no man separate” (Mt.
19:3)
3. After Christ’s Resurrection
• As a SIGN and SYMBOL
- the encounter of the Risen Lord is made possible through the
sacraments
- matrimonial consent as a sign element – as a sign of grace
• As the Sign of the Saving Presence of Christ
- serves as a channel of grace
- enables the couple to live a life together and even perfects
their love for
each other
- However, they must give Jesus a place in their relationship

“ Christ dwells with them, gives them the strength

to take up their crosses and
so follow Him to rise again after they have fallen,
to forgive one another,
to bear one another’s burdens and
to love one another
with the supernatural, tender and fruitful love

(CCC 1642).
Marriage as a Celebration
• Getting married in the Church is not a matter of choice, but a
requirement for it to be valid.
• Sacramental marriage is a liturgical act – must be celebrated in
the public liturgy of the Church.
• It is a public declaration of their love-commitment before God
and the Christian community.
• Normally, it is celebrated within the mass – to emphasize the its
connection with the Paschal Mystery of Christ.
(sharing in Christ’s passion, death and resurrection; commitment
to each other as Christ shed His blood for the Church; being one
with each other in Christ’s Body and Blood)
• It does not end in wedding ceremony.
• Ways to renew their love covenant:
1. role of the Eucharist in their life
2. marital act
Both acts are union ALREADY in the present, but promising a
fuller unity NOT YET achieved.