The best and most obvious way to stop bullying in schools is for parents to change the way

they parent their children at home. Of course, this is much easier said than done and
everyone parents their children differently. Bullies, however, come from homes where
physical punishment is used and children have been taught that physical violence is the
way to handle problems and get their way.
Bullies usually also come from homes where the parents fight a lot, so violence has been
modeled for them. Parental involvement often is lacking in bullies lives and there seems to
be little warmth.
Early intervention and effective discipline and boundaries truly is the best way to stop
bullying, but parents of the victims or therapists cannot change the bullys home
environment. Some things can be done at the school level, however.
1. Most school programs that address bullying use a multi-faceted approach to the
problem. This usually involves counseling of some sort, either by peers, a school
counselor, teachers, or the principal.
2. Hand out questionnaires to all students and teachers and discuss if bullying is
occurring. Define exactly what constitutes bullying at school. The questionnaire is a
wonderful tool that allows the school to see how widespread bullying is and what
forms it is taking. It is a good way to start to address the problem.
3. Get the childrens parents involved in a bullying program. If parents of the bullies
and the victims are not aware of what is going on at school, then the whole bullying
program will not be effective. Stopping bullying in school takes teamwork and
concentrated effort on everyones part. Bullying also should be discussed during
parent-teacher conferences and PTA meetings. Parental awareness is key.
4. In the classroom setting, all teachers should work with the students on bullying.
Oftentimes even the teacher is being bullied in the classroom and a program should
be set up that implements teaching about bullying. Children understand modeling
behaviors and role-play and acting out bullying situations is a very effective tool.
Have students role-play a bullying situation.
Rules that involve bullying behaviors should be clearly posted. Schools also could
ask local mental health professionals to speak to students about bullying behaviors
and how it directly affects the victims.
5. Schools need to make sure there is enough adult supervision at school to lessen and
prevent bullying.
A child who has to endure bullying usually suffers from low self-esteem and their ability to
learn and be successful at school is dramatically lessened. Schools and parents must
educate children about bullying behaviors; it will help all children feel safe and secure at
school. Children who bully need to be taught empathy for others feelings in order to
change their behaviors and the school must adopt a zero-tolerance policy regarding
bullying.

11 Ways You Can Help to Stop Bullying

1) Learn about the issue

Media attention on bullying and cyberbullying is increasing rapidly. The more informed
and better educated you are, the more effective you can be in impacting the problem. You
can find links to articles on bullying prevention on our website or do a Google search
of terms like bullying, cyberbullying, etc.

2) Walk the talk

Children learn many social cues from adults, parents/caregivers, and their peers. By
modeling empathy, tolerance and respect in your actions and communication, you impart
these values, and influence the attitudes and behaviors of your children.

3) Talk with your children

Often, if children are involved in bullying as either targets or aggressors, they are reluctant
to talk about it. Ask your children about their social experience at school, especially if they
seem withdrawn or are exhibiting unusual changes in their mood or behavior.

4) Monitor your child online

Cyberbullying is the fastest growing type of peer-on-peer mistreatment today. It is
important for parents to be able to monitor their childrens use of Facebook, MySpace and
other social media sites, both at home and on mobile devices.

5) Understand your schools policies

Rules, procedures and policies regarding bullying vary greatly from district to district.
Many states have enacted anti-bullying legislation, but implementation at the school site
may be lacking. Speak with school officials and your school board about what policies they
have in place and what programs they have implemented to address bullying and
cyberbullying.

6) Identify and build alliances in your community

Local service clubs, PTAs, local government and businesses can be a source of support and
funding for bullying and cyberbullying prevention programs like Safe School
Ambassadors. Working with the various stakeholders in your community is an effective
way to build a coalition and create safer school climates.

7) Advocate for safer schools

Write a letter to the editor of your local paper, attend or join your local PTA or school
board, or start a community group dedicated to addressing bullying and cyberbullying at
your local schools.

8) Join our Waking Up Courage Community Online

Join us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter! Every week we share tools, inspiration
and the latest news on waking up courage and the anti-bullying movement.

9) Sponsor a workshop
Community Matters offers Parent Workshops that provide parents and guardians with
an understanding of what bullying is today, the social, emotional and financial costs to
students, parents and schools, and communication tips to effectively support children and
teens.

10) Sponsor Safe School Ambassadors (SSA) at a school

Many schools have the desire to provide proven effective school climate improvement
programs like Safe School Ambassadors, but lack the funding to implement them. By
sponsoring SSA at your local school or alma mater, you can create positive change by
reducing bullying and cyberbullying, creating a climate of safety, inclusiveness and
respect. Click here to learn how Spencer Sherman sponsored the SSA program at his
alma mater, Bayside High School in New York.

11) Support Community Matters financially

Community Matters welcomes donations of any amount to help provide its programs and
services to schools in need. Go to our Donate page to make a secure donation through
PayPal.

While many parents may assume that bullying in schools is a problem that occurs in
middle or high school, the fact is that schools and parents should take steps to prevent and
stop bullying in schools as early as kindergarten and early elementary school. By teaching
children about what bullying is and the facts about how and why it is harmful, teachers and
parents can set important foundations to stop bullying behavior before it starts.

What is Bullying?
Bullying is defined as aggressive behavior that is intentional. It can be physical (such as
pushing or hitting) or verbal (such as hurting someone with insults or malicious gossip). In
younger children, bullying can also frequently include exclusion (a child telling another
she doesnt want to play with her and urging others to join her in excluding the victim of
the bullying behavior, for instance).
Bullying can affect children of any age, from kindergarten and elementary school years to
high school. Studies show that as many as 15 to 20 percent of kids are bullied "sometimes
or more often," and 15 to 20 percent of kids admit to bullying others with some frequency,
according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Bullying in Grade School

While problems such as cyberbullying may be less prevalent in grade-school, bullying can
still occur among young children. While younger children are much less likely to have
access to social networking sites or cell phones to exchange hurtful messages, they can
nevertheless encounter hurtful behavior on the playground or in classes.
Bullying among younger kids can take the form of ostracism, as in when a group of kids
may agree not to include a classmate in their games. Some other ways younger children
bully may include verbal aggression, such as name-calling or physical aggression such as
shoving or hitting.
Kids who are targeted by bullies often include those who have a disability or children who
are not adept at making friends and have little social support. Recent research has shown
that obesity is also a significant risk factor for being a victim of bullies. In some instances,
a child may become the target of bullying behavior based upon nothing more than a
distinguishing characteristic, such as her name. Remember the book Chrysanthemum by
Kevin Henkes? In this spot-on story about young kids behavior in school, poor
Chrysanthemum is teased and ostracized by some mean girls in her class simply because of
her name.

What Parents Can Do to Prevent and Stop Bullying

Stay connected with your child. The more you know about her friends and the details
about her interactions with classmates and peers, the more likely you are to spot any
changes in your childs social interactions. Talk with your child every day about specifics
at school and extracurricular activities such as who she had lunch with or what the best or
worst part of her day was. This is also an important way to establish good communication
with your child so that she knows that you are someone she can go to when she has a
problem.
Explain to your child what bullying is. Young children understand that hitting or pushing
another child is wrong (thats why even young bullies will try to be aggressive toward their

victims when teachers or other adults arent looking). But you can also explain that other
forms of bullying, such as excluding or ignoring someone, can also be hurtful.
Tell her what to do in case she experiences or witnesses bullying. Establish and
periodically review with your child the basics of what to do if they encounter hurtful
behavior directed toward them or someone else. Tell her to alert a teacher right away if she
sees bullying behavior (explain that this is not tattling, which is reporting something to the
teacher just to get someone in trouble, but is an important way to stop someone from
getting hurt).
Teach a child the importance of empathy. Research has shown that emotional
intelligence and empathy skills may be even more important for success in life than
intellectual intelligence. A child who is able to understand what it may feel like to be
bullied and can understand and regulate his own emotions is less likely to engage in that
behavior.
Set a good example. Do you ever make fun of other people or gossip about others in front
of your child? Have you ever spoken rudely to a waiter at a restaurant or to a store clerk in
a shop? Even if you think your children are not listening or observing your behavior, the
fact is that kids learn a lot about how to conduct themselves from watching their parents.
Look for warning signs that your child may be the victim of bullying. Does she express
reluctance to go to school? Are you seeing sudden behavioral changes such as aggression
or emotional problems such as anxiety or depression? Children may be reluctant to discuss
a school bullying problem with parents, but there are common signs parents can look for if
they suspect that their child may be the victim of school bullying.
Talk to your school about what teachers can do and about effective programs that are
being used by schools to deter bullying. If you suspect that your child may be the victim
of school bullying, you can tell your childs teacher about your concerns and ask her to
keep an eye out on the interactions between your child and his classmates. Ask the teacher
to watch out for problems and notify the school principal and counselor about your
concerns