Noah Parrill

Personal Narrative Essay

24 February 2016
English 1101
A Life Changing Retreat
For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that
you profess your faith and are saved (Romans 10:10). From my birth to the present, Bible verses
such as this have influenced my actions and the person I want to be. My family is a very
religious family. I contribute this to my grandparents. My grandparents on both sides of my
family instilled in my parents at a very young age the importance of religion in ones life and my
parents have continued this tradition. They have now engraved those same values into my sister
and I. Although now I can say that with confidence, it has not always been that clear for me. At a
young age I did not have a choice about religion or a clear understanding of what I believed; if I
believed in anything at all. I was baptized in a Catholic church and made my first Communion
before I really started to question my faith and what I as a person really believed in. As I matured
and began to question my faith I distanced myself from religion, despite pressures from family
and relatives. I continued to question and tried to solidify my beliefs for some time. It was not
until my mother forced me to go on a religious retreat did I feel like I found what I was looking
for. This retreat experience changed my life and ultimately shaped the person I am and the values
I hold.
To begin, as I previously mentioned at a young age I turned away from the church and
religion. I believe I did this because I did not know how I fit into religion and did not truly
understand my beliefs. To me church was a boring place my parents made me go every Sunday. I
remember as a young kid dreading waking up early on Sunday to go listen to an old man read a
book about problems I did not yet understand and having to awkwardly share this experience
with a church full of people I did not know. I argued with my parents weekly about going,
however they never gave in which caused me to dislike this Sunday ritual even more. This

weekly routine continued throughout my elementary school days. It was not until my middle
school years that my parents allowed me to make the choice to quit attending weekly Mass.
Although my parents were troubled by this decision, they believed one day I would return to the
Church under my own doing. My decision to return to the Church came about through a little
help from my mother in the form of a religious retreat.
It was the summer after my eighth grade year. My mother was discussing summer plans
with my friends parents. My friends, being for the most part Catholic were attending a religious
retreat for their Confirmation requirement. When my mother heard this news she signed me up
for the retreat. I am sure she was hoping I would find my way back to the Church. Upon hearing
the news of my weekend plans I was enraged. Not only did I not want to go, but I remembered
almost nothing about the church and felt like I was going to be an outcast. I argued my position
endlessly with no progress, and finally had to accept I was going to be going to a religious
retreat. The morning of the retreat I remember waking up having an upset stomach and eating
nothing because of the nervousness I felt toward my impending journey. I tried to play sick but
my mother did not let me back out of the retreat. After making the carpool rounds to pick up my
friends we were off to the retreat.
After a long thirty minutes of driving, we arrived at the host church. I remember sitting in
the car waiting to be dropped off, my palms sweating and my heart racing as I anticipated
embarking on what I thought to be the worst experience of my life. We walked into the Church
and it was exactly as I remembered. Crucifixes hung everywhere, the church smelled of what I
can only describe as religious incense, and I noticed the same old men who read the books that I
experienced as a child. Noticing all of this of course did not boost my confidence or desire to be
there, but off we went into the chapel to begin the retreat. The Pastor of this Church instructed all

of the kids to sit down in the creaky old wooden pews. He began to welcome everybody. He first
began by introducing himself and everybody who was going to be assisting with the retreat. He
then outlined the agenda. I paid little attention to this and was zoning out when I heard him say,
This day is about finding yourself and where you fit and how you connect with the Catholic
faith. His words caught my attention and made me realize I may gain something if I engage
myself in this retreat.
So began the day, in old creaky pews with a prayer service followed by a Mass. I buckled
down fully preparing myself for typical old Bible readings that nobody could fully understand.
Then one of the greatest things happened. The priest started to read stories about everyday
people helping others and doing great things within their communities, and he related these
stories back to Bible readings and the Catholic religion. It was like a light bulb went on in my
head, and I finally began to connect with this religion and understand what was trying to be
expressed. After this service we proceeded to the dining area to eat and something happened that
was both surprising and disgusting, but also taught me something valuable about the Church. As
my friends and I were eating one of the Fryers helping at the retreat came up to us, farted,
laughed, and walked away. Although at the time I felt uncomfortable, it taught me that religious
figures were people too and I could relate to them. We finished eating and went into the churchs
activity room. We split off into groups taking turns introducing ourselves, and bringing up any
problems we wanted to share. I remember once again my heart racing and my palms sweating.
All of a sudden my lunch was not sitting well. However, not long after people began sharing I
realized there was nothing to be scared of. This retreat was a place you could be safe sharing
whatever you wanted. After completing similar activities, we went back into the Chapel and
ended the retreat with another Mass. I know when my mother picked me up she did not know

what to expect from me. After talking to her for awhile I expressed that I thought it was time for
me to return to the Church.
This experience and retreat really changed my life and helped shape me into who I
currently am and the values I hold. This retreat was instrumental in bringing me back to the
Church. It helped me to understand that religion is a guideline, and interpretation and
questioning are expected. It also made me realize that the Church really just wants you to treat
others well and give back. Before this retreat I felt like somewhat of an outsider to religion and
to my faith. My friends prior to this retreat knew, or thought they knew a lot about their religion
and so did many family members. From this retreat a major concept I learned is that nobody is an
outsider to religion even if they do not associate themselves with a specific one. At the heart of
most religions is trying to be a good person, this is a valuable lesson I gained from this retreat. I
went back to the Church. By going back to the Church I do not mean going to church everyday
and spending hours everyday praying like what people in society perceive as being religious. In
society if somebody tells you I am very religious or you know somebody who is, the first thing
we imagine is somebody who is over the top religious and tries to force their views on others.
This is not the case for me. I am still not the most religious person by any means but I try to go
out of my way to help others and be a good person. Most of my friends and people around me
know if they ever have a problem they can come to me and I will be willing to help. This
characteristic has become a great attribute in how other people perceive me and who I am. I also
try to help the less fortunate by volunteering my time in various ways. I believe that this identity
has helped me be more excepting of others and more aware of what is going on in the
community and the world around me. From helping people and trying to be a better person I
have realized that everybody has got something going on whether it is visible or not. It has taught

me to be more patient and not be so quick to judge, or stereotype people. My journey back to
religion has defined who I am and has made me a better person.
In conclusion, I hope that nobody ever feels like an outsider because of religion. I hope
that if people have a religion they express it freely, but I also hope that if people do not have a
religion they realize it is never too late to find your place. I also hope people realize that
regardless of religion or faith, if you are Catholic, Muslim or Protestant, you go out of your way
to be a good person, reach out to those in need, and respect others for who they are. One minor
event can shape your values and the way people perceive you as a person, and I hope that event
changes people for the better.