How the Experience Changed Me

This year I was completely unprepared for what a full year in the
classroom would be like. After just a few short months of interning last year, I
wasnt fully aware of all the work that goes into being a teacher. My eyes
were opened to everything that goes on behind the scenes when the
students arent there. Creating lesson plans is extremely stressful in itself. I
second guessed myself on everything and worried that the students wouldnt
like it or understand it. Beyond lesson plans, there is so much more planning
that goes into teaching. A whole year of lessons have to be planned out in
advance and reviewed by administration who gets a say in everything. SOL
objectives also have to correlate with every lesson, and the whole year is
geared toward getting the class to pass their SOLs. It is frustrating when
certain things are required by administration that waste time and dont
benefit the students. In inclusion classes especially, there is a ton of paper
work involved with behavioral issues and individually designed lessons for
specific students.
Not only is the planning challenging, but the hardest task for me was
discipline. Last year, I played a less hands on role because I was there for a
short time but this year I came to have my own assignment with them each
day in class. I got to know the students pretty well so they looked at me as
more of a friend and not an authority figure. I adore playing with kids but
when it comes to reprimanding them when they misbehave, I struggle. They
are only in fourth grade and sometimes they are going to be loud or hyper
because all kids are, so I felt bad having to scald them. The times when it
would get bad enough that I had to interfere, they didnt take me seriously
because they thought I held no power. For the most part, they tended to walk
all over me because they knew they could push the limits of the classroom
rules. It was often hard to accomplish assignments in my small groups
because of outburst and refusal to do the work. I learned that you cant
always be loved, sometimes you have to be the bad guy and lay down the
law.
Although I enjoy working with kids, Ive learned through this
experience that teaching isnt for me. I often left the class feeling stressed,
overwhelmed and exhausted. In addition, I didnt have the patience
necessary in an inclusion class to make sure that all students understood the
material. I have many fond memories of Mrs. Dungans class but education is
definitely a career choice I can cross off my list.