Untitled

by Robert Ontiveros

FILE

T HE_VIOLINIST _S_T HUMB_BOOK_REVIEW.DOCX (16.88K)

T IME SUBMIT T ED

17-MAR-2016 09:18PM

WORD COUNT

1724

SUBMISSION ID

646953484

CHARACT ER COUNT

8906

w
o
n
d
e
its X and Y allow . . .? great opportunity r
f
for specificity.
u
l
o
p
e
piece isn't exactly what you n
need here.
i
as he describes the ?
n
g
!

I'm not sure if you're trying to prove his narrative is "engaging"

here or if
you're trying to praise his style? You should separate these and
build each.

engaging

style--OK, I
see two
criteria?

this is kind of
backwards--one
way he engages
his readers is
with the
immersive
narrative.
"Engaging" can
be a criteria for all

maybe you should adjust your audience?

well-constructed
argument

great transition

your "grey"
example belongs
here, I think--build
with an example.

good P

not sure this P

is necessary--it
repeats in new
words your
previous
claims--maybe
add anything
new to a
previous P?

try a new
conclusion: this one
introduces
something brand
new--the scientists.

include the page numbers in the in-text

(parenthetical) citations, rather than as separate
reference page entries.

Untitled
GRADEMARK REPORT
FINAL GRADE

GENERAL COMMENTS

93

Instructor

/100

PAGE 1

QM

Text Comment.

wonderf ul opening!

Text Comment.

its X and Y allow . . .? great opportunity f or specif icity.

Text Comment.

engaging

Text Comment.

style--OK, I see two criteria?

S/V Agreement
Subject-verb agreement:
Subjects and verbs should match in number and person. Singular subjects require singular
verbs; plural subjects require plural verbs.

QM

Text Comment.

piece isn't exactly what you need here.

Text Comment.

as he describes the ?

S/V Agreement
Subject-verb agreement:
Subjects and verbs should match in number and person. Singular subjects require singular
verbs; plural subjects require plural verbs.

Text Comment.

this is kind of backwards--one way he engages his readers is with the

immersive narrative. "Engaging" can be a criteria f or all good scientif ic n.f ., but "immersive
narrative" would be too limiting a criterion f or all good scientif ic n.f .

Text Comment.

I'm not sure if you're trying to prove his narrative is "engaging" here or if
you're trying to praise his style? You should separate these and build each.
PAGE 2

Text Comment.

maybe you should adjust your audience?

Text Comment.

well-constructed argument

Text Comment.

great transition

PAGE 3

QM

Show Don't Tell

Can you show your reader this is true, rather than just saying it's true?

Text Comment.

your "grey" example belongs here, I think--build with an example.

Text Comment.

good P

PAGE 4

QM

citation add
You need a citation here.

QM

Show Don't Tell

Can you show your reader this is true, rather than just saying it's true?

PAGE 5

Text Comment.

not sure this P is necessary--it repeats in new words your previous

claims--maybe add anything new to a previous P?

Text Comment.

try a new conclusion: this one introduces something brand new--the

scientists.
PAGE 6

Text Comment.

include the page numbers in the in-text (parenthetical) citations, rather

than as separate ref erence page entries.

RUBRIC: 36 3 BOOK REVIEW RUBRIC

9 3.25 / 10 0

RHET ORIC (5%)

100 / 100

Write f ormally and inf ormally, in-class and out-of -class, f or a variety of audiences and purposes.
ABSENT OR BELOW Audience's needs are of ten not recognized: terms and ideas need explanation and
BASIC
language needs adjustment f or the audience. Purpose (to evaluate a book) isn't clear
(60)
or achieved.
DEVELOPING
(70)

Shows some attention to audience's needs, sometimes def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to evaluate a book) may be
unclear at times, and it may not be achieved convincingly.

PROFICIENT
(85)

Shows attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and ideas and using
audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to evaluate a book) may be implied, but it's
clear and achieved.

ADVANCED
(100)

Shows sophisticated attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to evaluate a book) is clear
and achieved with style.

CIT AT IONS (5%)

70 / 100

Using the appropriate majors customary citation style, ethically cite and communicate inf ormation f rom a
variety of discipline-appropriate sources.
ABSENT OR BELOW Audience's needs are of ten not recognized: terms and ideas need explanation and
BASIC
language needs adjustment f or the audience. Purpose (to evaluate a book) isn't clear
(60)
or achieved.
DEVELOPING
(70)

A f ew errors in MLA- or APA-style parenthetical citations, quotation marks, and works

cited list. Sometimes introduces sources in the text (MLA only). May cite superf icially
f rom sources. May be over-reliant on a single source.

PROFICIENT
(85)

Correctly uses MLA- or APA-style parenthetical citations, quotation marks, and works
cited list. May have 1-2 citation errors. Usually introduces sources in the text (MLA
only). Cites f rom a variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ADVANCED
(100)

Consistently and correctly uses quotation marks and MLA- or APA-style in-text
(parenthetical) and end-of -text (ref erence list) citations f or all sources, whether
quoted directly or paraphrased. Always introduces sources in the text (MLA only).
Cites f rom a variety of discipline-appropriate sources. Never over-reliant on a single
source.

PERSUASION (35%)

100 / 100

Compare, evaluate, synthesize, and communicate caref ully, objectively, and persuasively the relative merits
of alternative or opposing arguments, assumptions, and cultural values.
ABSENT OR BELOW Fails to support claims with specif ic evidence. Objectivity and a controlling idea may
BASIC
be lacking.
(60)

DEVELOPING
(70)

Attempts to support claims with evidence, but specif icity and/or objectivity may be
lacking. A controlling idea may be missing or implied.

PROFICIENT
(85)

Usually supports the controlling idea and paragraph claims with relevant, thorough,
and specif ic evidence. Usually maintains objectivity.

ADVANCED
(100)

Supports a clear controlling idea and paragraph claims with relevant, thorough, and
specif ic evidence. Maintains objectivity.

ORGANIZ AT ION (35%)

85 / 100

Organize, f ocus, and communicate ones thoughts clearly and ef f ectively to address a rhetorical situation.
ABSENT OR BELOW Organizational devices (controlling idea/thesis, headings, subheadings, topic
BASIC
sentences, transitions) may be absent, unrelated to the prompt, or illogically
(60)
connected. Criteria may be absent. Ps contain multiple topics or are disorganized.
DEVELOPING
(70)

Organizational devices (controlling idea or thesis, headings, subheadings, topic

sentences, transitions) f it the prompt, but may be vague, too broad, or inconsistenly
or illogically linked. Criteria may be vague, too broad, or too narrow. Ps may not be
unif ied.

PROFICIENT
(85)

Clear organizational devices (thesis or controlling idea, topic sentences, headings,

transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas and topics together logically. T wo to three
relevant criteria are clearly articulated and organize the text. Paragraphs are usually
unif ied.

ADVANCED
(100)

Clear, specif ic organizational devices (thesis or controlling idea, topic sentences,

headings, transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas and topics together logically and
seamlessly. T wo to three salient criteria are clearly articulated and organize the text.
Paragraphs are unif ied.

LANG & DESIGN (15%)

100 / 100

Recognize, evaluate, and employ the f eatures and contexts of language and design that express and
inf luence meaning and that demonstrate sensitivity to gender and cultural dif f erences.
ABSENT OR BELOW Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability. Language may
BASIC
ref lect a gender or cultural bias. Design does not conf orm to the chosen publication,
(60)
or a publication may not be specif ied. T he design may be inef f ective.
DEVELOPING
(70)

Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors of ten impede readability or otherwise

distract f rom meaning. Language may occasionally suggest a gender or cultural bias.
Design may not conf orm to the chosen publication or may be inef f ective.

PROFICIENT
(85)

Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are f ew and do not distract f rom
meaning. Language respects gender and cultural dif f erences. Design conf orms to the
chosen publication and is ef f ective.

ADVANCED
(100)

Outstanding control of language, including ef f ective diction and sentence variety.

Language respects gender and cultural dif f erences. Design conf orms to the chosen

publication and is ef f ective.

COLLABORAT ION (5%)

100 / 100

Improve ones own and others writing skills through the assessment and critique of written works.
ABSENT OR BELOW No ef f ort appears to have been made to unif y the review's style and substance. It
BASIC
looks like multiple writers pasted their work together.
(60)
DEVELOPING
(70)

Some ef f ort to unif y the review's style and substance is evident, although it is clear
that multiple people composed it.

PROFICIENT
(85)

Review's style and substance are usually unif ied. It usually appears as though one
writer composed it.

ADVANCED
(100)

Review's style and substance are unif ied. It appears as though one writer composed
it.