Zenzele Thomas

31 March 2016
ENC1101 Spring 2016
Watkins
Is marriage really necessary?
The necessity of marriage has most recently come into question among many Americans.
Also, with the constant role of sexism in our society, marriage also gives men the illusion of
holding a higher standing than their spouse (Atwan 222), whether the actions are subliminal or
overt. Marriage started mainly as a way get inheritance which includes the idea of marrying up
(Realtruth: Is Marriage Outdated?). Another main reason was to join to families to create
permanent alliances, especially in war or times of political tension between countries. Marriage
out of love and love alone is a more recent notion and is currently not proving to be very wise.
Divorce is a common occurrence in the United States and happens at almost the same rate that
people are getting married. Marriage doesnt hold the same weight as it once did in society. In
this day and age, marriage is unnecessary unless you have a specific reason, such as having kids
or gaining benefits from work (also includes joint property rights, emergency situations).
Marriage is nothing more than a glorified contract to share your belongings, your means,
and your life with another person (Debate: Marriage is an Outdated Concept). Marriage
throughout history is, more often than not, for a reason. Getting married for purely emotions has
only come into existence in the last couple hundred years. Before that, marriage was either to
gain inheritance or to create permanent alliances. But really, marriage is becoming unrealistic.
The cost of weddings alone often take years to pay off. Rings and dresses are thousands of
dollars. The purpose of the ring actually holds no meaning aside from fact that the companies
responsible for making rings has placed some nonexistent value on it (Adam Ruins
Everything). And often, these marriages dont last, as the current divorce rate near 50%. Over
the past 5 years alone, there has been a 100% increase in the divorce rate (Realtruth: Is Marriage
Outdated?). There are a variety of circumstances where marriage can work but the way it is now
has no function. In times past, marriages out of love would have the purpose of building
something together, whether that be a family or a business. The couples in the past would work
through their problems and find solutions. Communication would also play a big part in how the
two people would function. Now, marriage is nothing more than a pale imitation of what it was.
There is often no solid foundation for many marriages, which is why it falls apart so easily. But
part of the problem is that nobody explained what marriage really was or what it should look like
to the people who are struggling with marriage. Some of these divorces happen because kids are
getting married out of high school with no idea of what they want from the marriage. Part of the
reason that this is so is because in society, there is a pressure to be with somebody and to be
married. Some even get married or elope just to spite their parents. In reality, you dont need to
be with somebody for the remaining years of your life.
Marriage isnt all bad. Should your marriage work out, you will have a permanent
support in your life. Even though the divorce rate is 50%, that also means that the marriage rate
is 50%. This means you have a 1 in 2 chance of staying with your partner. Also, marriage has
always been present in society. Its a tradition held high and theres nothing wrong with holding
traditions. You can create a family or create something together that will last the rest of your life.
Also, the act of marrying someone is an act of declaring your love to your partner and there's no
harm in that. Marriage lays down a foundation for your children to look forward to (Heritage:
The Necessity of Marriage). Should your marriage be productive, your kids can grown up with a

sturdy image of what life should look like in their future. In society, marriage also allows for a
certain kind of order that has been consistently present in the history of the United States. Also,
there are emotional benefits from marriage that allow you to grow as a person and learn about
In the United States, marriage is shown as one of the ultimate goals in life. You see it on
television in nearly every show. It appears to be effortless. You hear about it on the regular.
When you say you're not getting married, people give you strange looks or try to convince you
on why you should get married and how marriage will bring you the most happiness youve had
in your life. The image of marriage is unrealistic, leading nave people to believe that marriage
will be a walk in the park. Marriage is something that you have to work for, throughout, and
after. Part of the dilemma is that marriage is not fully explained to the children of this generation.
It is generally described as a declaration of love which is unnecessary (Quora: Is Marriage
Unnecessary in Modern Society?). The majority of parents come from a "don't-ask-dont-tell"
kind of reality and most kids dont think to ask until they're in the creations of their own
marriages. Marriage should be about cooperation and compromise and at the same time, should
be fair and equal. There should be plenty of communication and the person you're with should
challenge you to think critically and to grow as a person. In the past, marriage was easier and
more necessary. Divorce was an option but it wasn't taken often. Divorce wasn't even open to the
general public until 1857. This was often because you had built something together in the
marriage that needed both of you together to operate it, whether that was running a household or
raising kids. Having kids would help build the family and more people made a smoother family
if they all cooperated. But now, you can really do most everything that you want independently.
You can create a business by yourself, live by yourself, even have kids by yourself. Having
many kids isnt as productive anymore and even work against your favor.
Marriage doesnt have to be for everyone. Living your life without a permanent partner
isn't as bad as it seems. You're free to move around as you please and your life rests in your
hands. Should you decide to get married, you must make sure to set the boundaries for your
marriage, especially if you have kids. What would be the point in marrying somebody that you'll
possible end up separate from a year later? You have to be absolutely sure that you want to
marry somebody before you do and that includes separating yourself from your emotions and
looking at the person you want to marry.
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Citations
Toews, Jacob C. "Is Marriage Outdated?" Is Marriage Outdated? N.p., 2016.
Web. 04 Apr. 2016.
Santorum, Rick. "The Necessity of Marriage." The Heritage Foundation. N.p.,
20 Oct. 2003. Web. 04 Apr. 2016.
Atwan, Robert, Maria Halovanic, Andrew Michael. Knoll, and Timothy Walsh.
"Marriage: What Does It Mean Today?" America Now: Short Readings from Recent Periodicals.
Boston: Bedford/St. Martins, 2007. 221-23. Print.
Colagioia, John. "Is Marriage Unnecessary in Modern Society?" - Quora. N.p., 25 Sept.
2015. Web. 04 Apr. 2016.
Collegehumor. "Why Engagement Rings Are a Scam - Adam Ruins
Everything." YouTube. YouTube, 14 Feb. 2014. Web. 04 Apr.
2016.
Colagioia, John. "Is Marriage Unnecessary in
Modern Society?" - Quora. N.p., 25 Sept. 2015. Web. 04 Apr. 2016.

"Is Marriage Really Necessary?" Is Marriage Really Necessary? N.p., n.d. Web.
04 Apr. 2016.