1

Running head: TRAPPED IN A CULTURE

Reaction Paper: LGBTQ Community- Trapped in a Culture

Bridget M. Macaluso
University at Buffalo

Reaction Paper: LGBTQ Community- Trapped in a Culture

TRAPPED IN A CULTURE
When my sister was nineteen, she told me that she had feelings for her female best friend.
This was the first time that she had told anyone, and she was terrified of what it could mean
about herself and what it would change about her future.
College is a time for personal exploration and experimentation. For many people, this is
the most significant amount of time that they have spent away from the community they were
raised in. This gives them their first chance to think about who they are separately from the
people they know best. Because of this, several students start to identify in ways that they never
have before, and many of them dont know who to turn to during these times of transition and
learning. As a student affairs professional, I want to be able to help these students. Some of them
might not have sisters to talk to. Some of them may have parents who dont accept their children
identifying in ways that are separate from societal expectations. They may be bullied by their
peers or not know how to look for proper health care. I will never be able to provide all of the
right answers, or all of the support that these individuals need, but I want to have enough
knowledge and competence to do all that I can for them.
The first event that I was able to participate in for my immersion project was a Gay
Mens Book Club meeting through the Pride Center of Western New York. The group was
reading Giovannis Room by James Baldwin. I read the novel and spent time discussing the
book, the author, and the 1950s time period with the men in the book club.
I also had the opportunity to attend a conference put on by the Pride Center called
Translating Identity- the 3rd Annual Trans Wellness Conference. At the symposium, I heard
from 3 different speakers, and met several people who identify within the trans gendered
spectrum or are allies of the community.
Through this project, I realized that one of my biggest assumptions about the LGBTQ
community is that they are all younger people- in their twenties and thirties. In the work that I
do, I will be working mostly with young people, but there are people of all ages who identify as

TRAPPED IN A CULTURE
LGBTQ. Throughout my lifetime, Ive seen people fight for their rights, seen shows like Rent
become popular, and watched as several states start to legalize gay marriage. This has created a
stigma in my mind that since my generation and the one before mine are the ones that have really
begun to accept and appreciate the LGBTQ community, all LGBTQ people are under 40.
However, I would say that the majority of the people that I was able to interact with and learn
from through my project were over 30, and at least 50% were over 40.
Ive never been close enough to a trans-gendered person to learn much about them, so I
told myself that the community wasnt large enough to take much time to think about. I was
afraid of the trans community- telling myself I was scared because this community was
something I knew so little about. However, as Johnson (2006) says, it isnt what we dont know
that frightens us, its what we think we do know (p.13). I realize now that in the little time that I
did take to think about this community, I had thought that they were people who insisted on
pushing peoples comfort levels by testing the boundaries. I thought that their goal was to make
me uncomfortable, and it was working. My experience at the conference made me realize that
this is a very genuine community. These people dont want to make me feel apprehensive any
more than they want to feel obliterated by their neighbors. Too many people ignore the needs and
lives of trans-gendered individuals. It is very difficult for them to get proper medical attention,
they are constantly being bullied and disrespected, and many trans-gendered individuals
experience internalized subordination. Hardiman and Jackson (1997) define this term as ways in
which targets collude with their own oppression (p. 21). 47% of trans-gendered individuals
report having attempted suicide (Levitt, 2014).
I found the preparation time for this project to be the most difficult. I learned that because
many LGBTQ topics are so sensitive and there is such discrimination against members of this
group, many of their meetings are private. There were a few support and chat groups that I really

TRAPPED IN A CULTURE
wanted to attend, but there was an application process before they would even tell you when and
where the meetings were. I find it very disheartening that members of the LGBTQ community
have enough to fear that they have to hold such secret meeting times. However, these
counterspaces are an important part of critical race theory as they allow individuals to feel
validated by others who share their thoughts and experiences (Cuyjet et al., 2011 p. 27).
It is frustrating that it is so difficult for me to find events that I am welcome to attend.
Many people go as far as to include an A for ally in LGBTQAI, and yet I wasnt invited to
participate in some of their conversations. I had a fellow graduate student at UB tell me that it
might not be appropriate for me to attend a Queer Womens Group meeting on campus because I
hold a position of power in my Campus Living Assistantship. It might make students who live in
the residence halls feel uncomfortable to share with me around. Gaining and maintaining cultural
competence is sometimes a double-sided coin. On the one hand, I want to be an ally, and I feel
that I should be allowed to participate so that I have a better understanding and a chance to get to
know the people around me who Im supporting. On the other, sometimes I need to give them the
privacy of these counterspaces in order to support them. I cant be an ally if Im forcing people to
allow me in against their comfort level.
Was I really frustrated because I felt I couldnt be supportive if I wasnt invited to
everything, or was it that Ive been so privileged in my life that I am uncomfortable feeling like
the minority? The sense of being an unwelcome outsider is new to me in many aspects, but some
people feel that way every day.
Once I had been given permission to attend my two events, I found myself starting to get
nervous about them. What should I wear? If I looked too professional, it might be intimidating or
seem as though I was trying to assert my educational and socio-economical privilege. What if I
dressed down and it was a more formal event? The book club was meeting at Panera Bread. How
would I know which table was the one for the book club? I looked for tables with several books

TRAPPED IN A CULTURE
on them, and didnt see any. I felt that it would look like I was stereo-typing if I approached a
particular group and asked them if they were the Gay Mens Book Club.
The overall lesson that I learned through this project is that the fear that people feel in
diversity seems to come from too much of a focus on the things about us that are not the same. I
went into the project thinking about how it would be an assertion of power to ask questions about
peoples coming out stories or struggles with their identity, so I sat down and didnt know how to
start a conversation. One of the people next to me began to talk to me so I didnt carry the burden
of deciding how to begin a dialogue. Through our talk, this person simply asked me other
questions about my daily life. We talked about our jobs, our educational background, the lunch
we were eating, and several other things. I realized that it was just as easy for me to have a
conversation with this person as it would have been with anyone else in my day to day life. We
were eventually able to move into a conversation about gender, and this person told me about the
transition they were going through. We didnt have to start with this topic, and this person was
able to bring the topic up themselves once they were comfortable enough with me to do so.
Starting on a common ground was a really helpful way to get over the anxiety of meeting
someone new.
At the conference I attended, I had the chance to listen to a speech about some of the
medical difficulties that trans-gendered individuals face. There are a plethora of obstacles that
this community has to confront with their healthcare providers that I had not thought about
previously. Because there is little education in schools and medical schools about the transgendered community, many individuals spend most of their time in appointments explaining who
they are and how they identify to their providers. It can also be very difficult for many transgendered people to receive coverage for their health care. If a trans-man has to have a routine
pap-smear, but his ID card shows his male identity, his insurance company may not accept this as

TRAPPED IN A CULTURE
a necessary procedure, and therefore will not support it. Some individuals will not have this
problem, however, because there are states that require gender-confirmation surgery in order to
change your gender on an ID card (Levitt 2014).
Another thing that was pointed out at the conference that I attended was that we live in a
society that is constantly looking for concrete definitions and categories to put people into.
However, the definitions of words and the ways that people identify change. Several of the
LGBTQ terms will vary from person to person, and some of them will change based on
geographical region. For example, one person may identify as queer, meaning that they are a
part of the sexual minority (Sexual Identity and Gender Identity Glossary). Others use the term in
place of the word gay because it is not gender specific, and is therefore more inclusive. Still
others are offended by the word and see it as a derogatory term (Transgender Terminology 2009).
The term butch has always been described to me as an offensive way to describe females who
dress, act, and/or look the way society expects of only males. However, some people choose to
identify as butch as a sub-category of lesbian or gay (Sexual Identity and Gender Identity
Glossary).
Not only were the experiences that I had educational, but I found this project to be very
insightful. Many of these intuitions came from the speeches that I listened to at the conference.
CeCe McDonald is a trans-woman who was incarcerated for defending herself against a hate
crime. Several people in the United States were so moved by her fight and appalled that she was
imprisoned for self-defense that they began to campaign for her freedom, and her sentence was
shortened. Now CeCe dedicates her life to speaking out for LGBTQ equality. CeCe reminded us
that we have come to assume that people will live forever under the identities that were chosen
for them at birth. She said I wasnt born a boy. I was born a baby. I was assigned a gender
(McDonald 2014). I have never thought about the fact that I was assigned a gender when I was

TRAPPED IN A CULTURE
born. I have always identified as female, and not questioned the assignment I was given. After
listening to CeCe speak, I started to think about the many people who do question the
assignments they are given at birth, and not just in gender. There are several people throughout
the country who do not identify with the names that they were assigned at birth. People choose to
go by a nickname, or a middle name, or a separate name altogether. However, those people arent
questioned about the way they identify. Why should we expect everyone to accept the
assignments they are given?
Valerie Spencer was another speaker at the conference. Valerie has also been an avid
supporter of LGBTQ rights for several years. She spoke a lot to the notion of being trapped in a
body (Spencer 2014). Several people assume that trans-gendered individuals feel this way, but
Valerie assured us that she does not hate her body. She said I cant birth babies, but I can birth
visions and dreams (Spencer 2014). We often look at people who are different than us and focus
only on the contributions that they are unable to make. It is important that we reframe that
thinking to meet a new person and think about the unique contributions that they can make to
society that others would not. Valerie also made it clear to us all that she does not feel trapped in
her body. She said that she feels trapped in a culture that will not accept her for who she is
(Spencer 2014). This statement is the one part of my project that spoke to me the most. We tend
to look at multicultural problems that lie in the differences between people. We feel a sense of
sympathy for people because they are black, transgendered, or blind. However, these things are
not the real problem. If we look at the bigger picture, the issue is that we have a culture that is
not accepting and inclusive of all of the people in it. That is not to say all of the struggles for
people of these populations are due to our incompetent society. However, the obstacles each of
these communities face would be significantly diminished if we were more inclusive.

TRAPPED IN A CULTURE
I hope that I will be able to continually benefit from the experiences I had through this
project. I currently feel that I am at a much more comfortable level with the unknown. I
understand the notion of definitions changing from person to person and in different regions and
conversations. As a student affairs professional, this will help me to realize that I have to ask the
right questions to understand who the people I am speaking to are and how they wish to be
spoken to. At the University at Buffalo, we have thousands of people who are all in different
times of their lives and come from several different places. I now understand that I cannot expect
the word cross-dresser to mean the same thing in every conversation that I have. When I first
started this class, I was hungry for an understanding of what language was correct. I now realize
that the correct language is not based on society, but based on the person to whom you are
speaking.
I also feel that I am now more capable of understanding some of the obstacles that the
LGBTQ community faces each day. Not only are people who identify within this group often
mistreated, but we also discussed the difficulty in finding a relationship with religion, the
hardships when it comes to health care, and the self-oppression that comes with identifying who
you are. Professionally, it is important to realize that while I am having a conversation with a
student about their classes or their roommate, there may be other things happening with them
that make it difficult to focus or to cope. While I cannot provide all of the answers for every
student, I now know that I should be prepared with some resources for students who might be
struggling with some of these issues. I will also be able to better understand a student as a whole
person, rather than just in the area of the particular conversation I am having with them.
I began this project as the sister of one member of the LGBTQ community. I had a
few friends who identify in the community, and I felt that I was well aware of the oppression that
these students faced, and that I was a good ally because I saw them as equals. Now that I have

TRAPPED IN A CULTURE
immersed myself in these two events, I feel passionate about advocating for more education on
this community. I am interested in attending more conferences about trans-gender health and
wellness. When I first saw the women who spoke at the conference, I found it distracting to think
of them as trans-gendered individuals. I realized that I was constantly looking at them and
thinking of the differences between male and female and wondering why they would ever choose
to be transgender in my head. By the time each of them finished speaking, I saw them as people.
I could listen to them talk, and I was comfortable acknowledging their gender identities, and
didnt feel that there was a reason to see them in any other way. The fear of the unknown left
because I felt that with the few words that they spoke to me, I knew them, and understood who
they were. Can you imagine if we all took the time to know the people around us? I am very
hopeful that I can use the experience from this semester in my career as a student affairs
professional to inspire others to do just that. Multicultural competence is a lifelong process (Pope
et al. 2004). I would like to spend my life diminishing the idea of being trapped in a culture.
References
Cuyjet, M. J., Howard-Hamilton, M. F., Cooper, D. L. (Eds.). (2011) Multiculturalism on
campus: Theory, models, and practices for understanding diversity and creating
inclusion. Sterling, VA: Stylus.
Hardiman, R. Jackson, B. W. (1997) Conceptual Foundations for Social Justice Courses.
Teaching for diversity & social justice. 16-29.
Johnson, A. G. (Ed.). (2006) Privilege, power, and difference (2nd ed.). New York:
McGraw- Hill.
Levitt, N. (2014, October). Transgender Healthcare. Translating Identity: The 3rd Annual Trans
Wellness Conference. Transgender Health Initiative, Buffalo, New York.
McDonald, C. (2014, October). Keynote. Translating Identity: The 3rd Annual Trans
Wellness Conference. Transgender Health Initiative, Buffalo, New York.
Pope, R. L., Reynolds, A. L., & Mueller, J. A. (2004). Multicultural competence in student
affairs. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.

10

TRAPPED IN A CULTURE
Sexual Identity and Gender Identity Glossary. Feminism and Womens Studies. Retrieved from:
http://feminism.eserver.org/
Spencer, V. (2014, October). Health Literacy, Advocacy, Access to Care. Translating Identity:
The 3rd Annual Trans Wellness Conference. Transgender Health Initiative, Buffalo, New
York.
Transgender Terminology. (2009). National Center for Transgender Equality.