MOTIVATIONS FOR PARENTING

Motivations for Parenting

Titus J. Luckhaupt
Ivy Tech Community College

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Abstract
In this paper we will discuss motivations for parenting. We will discuss a variety of topics a
future parenting couple should think through before making the decision. Questions such as: Is
parenting more hurt than help? When should someone become a parent? How do you know if
youre ready or not? How many children should I have? Will be addressed is this paper. Overall
we will see that parenting is a very serious matter than shouldnt be taken lightly and research
and study should be done. Either this research will strengthen a motivation to have a child or it
will lessen the desire. One way or another there should be a certain level of maturity taken into a
parenting.

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Motivations for Parenthood

Parenthood, when this word is said what is the first word that comes to mind? Maybe you
thought, Maybe someday or why even deal with children? or even, its the best decision
Ive made. Whatever your response was there is obviously an insurmountable number of
questions to be asked when thinking about parenthood. Is it more hurt than help? When should
someone become a parent? How do you know if youre ready or not? How many children should
I have? All these questions are valid and normal questions to ask that will all be addressed in this
paper. It will deeply discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having children. So lets go
ahead and dive into these deep questions.
First and foremost parenthood is obviously essential to our existence, after all without
children I would not be writing this paper for a couple reasons. So, if having children and
becoming a parent is a necessary piece to our human continuation why is the question of having
a child such an imposing question that has no one answer? The truth is, because all situations are
different. We have billions of people in the world coming from all different kinds of ethnicities
and living habits. Some come from very wealthy families while others are less fortunate. Some
live in a country where baring many children is looked upon in good favor while others cannot
have more than two children. Its these and many more factors that lead to an overall uneasy
feeling of parenting in a general sense. Is parenting more hurt than help? I think this question can
only be answered by the parents who are having the child. Taking into account that a child may
not gain the parent anything monetarily, financially speaking it may not the smartest option, but
financial gain is not what parenting is for. For most, parenting provides several other gains that
money cannot buy. Parenting, like teaching, has so many non tangible rewards that are so deep

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that several parents forget what they dont have because what they do have means the world to
them. Children can add much more than whatever is taken away. Having said that, if a parenting
couple doesnt have the financial capabilities to raise a child it is wise to wait until they are
financially stable. Like was said earlier, each background and situation is different so the
digression of the parents is advised.
When should someone become a parent? This is a very loaded question that could have
one of several answers. Financial stability is a very important factor to having a child; it is
important for a parent to examine if they can financially support another child before making
such a big decision. Another significant factor that parents should consider before having a child
is if their relationship is strong enough to raise a family. This is so vital to a childs growth,
because according to Kathryn Wall of News-Leader, More than half of all youths incarcerated in
the US lived in one-parent families as a child (2014). Its this statistic and many more that
make us realize how important couples staying together really is. It is also ideal to have a child
while being married. Sarah McLanahan of Princeton University conducted a study of married
and unmarried parents who were just about to have a child. They followed the couples for five
years and the results were very interesting. When asked, the couples who were married were and
unmarried had high hopes for their futures with their current partner, but five years later very
few unmarried couples still remained together, nearly two thirds, which in return hurt the childs
cognitive and socio-emotional development. (McLanahan, 2009). As to what age someone
should become a parent is left to the discretion of the parenting couple. Recently there has been a
large focus on waiting to become a parent until the couple is out of college and they feel
financially capable to raise a child. While financial stability is very important other couples have

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children right away because the chance a disabled child is greater when having a child at an older
age.
Now we will discuss some of the advantages and disadvantages of becoming a parent.
Loss of freedom can be considered as a disadvantage of parenting, but are we loosing freedom or
gaining a whole different type of freedom when parenting? A parent will have to plan out a
steady work-family schedule so they can spend adequate time with the child while still finding
the work to support the family. Most of all there are several fears that are included with
parenting. The fear of if the child will turn out badly, because of something you did or what if
something happens to them when Im not around? There are no shortages of scary thoughts one
can have when thinking of parenting and its good to sort these issues out before proceeding into
parenting. Read books and study parenting methods that have been statistically proven to work.
Dont just take one persons word on the matter, look at several different views logically and
critically and then decide for yourself. Weve already touched on a few of the advantages of
parenting but after looking farther into it here are a few more advantages. Having a child can
increase your status as a mature member of a community. Many people associate raising a child
with being a more mature individual. Having a child can also give a parent more meaning in a
life that might have been flat and un-meaningful. Having something to live for and motivate a
human is so precious and helpful. The skill of sacrifice can be learned when parenting as well.
Sacrifice is so important even beyond parenting and can be applied to all areas of life. Plus when
having a child you will, hopefully have them care for you at an elderly age as you cared for
them at a young age (Berk, 2012).
In conclusion we have seen that there is not just one motivation to parenthood. As long as
the couple has the correct motivations though, things should work out well. We have addressed

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several questions such as: Is parenting more hurt than help? When should someone become a
parent? How do you know if youre ready or not? How many children should I have? And
ultimately we have seen that there are several routes one can take to parenting. The overall idea
needs to be that when a couple is thinking about parenting there are several factors to include and
think through before making such a decision. Parenting should be set around strong intelligent
and well thought out motivations.

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References
Berk, L. E. (2012). Infants, Children, And Adolescents.Washington D.C.: Allyn & Bacon.
McLanahan, S. (2009). Family Instability and Complexity after a Nonmarital Birth: Outcomes
for Children in Fragile Families. Princeton University. (1) 1. 1-10.
http://crcw.princeton.edu/workingpapers/WP09-16-FF.pdf
Wall, K (2012). Statistics Reveal Stark Challenges For Children Raised In One-parent
Households. News-Leader. (1)1. 1-2. http://archive.newsleader.com/article/20121125/NEWS01/311250054/single-parents-Ozarks-poverty