Professional Documents
Culture Documents
NLP........................................................................................................................ 2
Why Study NLP?...................................................................................................... 3
What is NLP?.......................................................................................................... 4
Learning Strategy................................................................................................... 11
RAPPORT............................................................................................................. 32
COMMUNICATION STYLES.................................................................................... 39
EYE PATTERNS..................................................................................................... 43
Submodalities......................................................................................................... 49
Persuasive communication....................................................................................... 61
HYPNOTIC LANGUAGE.......................................................................................... 78
PRECISE COMMUNICATION.........................................................................................100
Anchoring............................................................................................................ 122
Strategies............................................................................................................ 129
Reframing............................................................................................................ 148
NLP
Welcome
Would you like to be able to quickly and easily super-charge your motivation to achieve
those goals just as you desire?
Would you like a way to reduce or even completely and permanently remove irrational
fears and phobias in yourself and others?
Would you enjoy improving your ability to coach and motivate others to achieve their
goals and desires?
Would you like a way to cancel out cravings for those things that you love to indulge in
but you know are bad for you?
Would you like a way to be able to replicate excellence demonstrated by the people
you admire the most?
You would? NLP has tools for all these things and many, many more.
Use the navigation links on the left or below to begin learning all about those tools,
how you can begin using them and which ones work best for you.
What is NLP?
Definitions of NLP
There is no one single definition of NLP broad enough to encapsulate the breadth and
depth of the subject matter. NLP has as many definitions as there are people practicing
it.
"The name of the field refers to (Neuro) the human nervous system, including the brain
and the five senses, (Linguistic) the verbal and non-verbal languages with which we
communicate and (Programming) the ability to structure our neurological and linguistic
systems to achieve desired results" - Jamie Smart, Salad NLP.
NLP was discovered by watching theraputic experts doing what they did and modelling
their behviour so that it could be taught to others to allow them to achieve the same
results.
The best way to define NLP is to do it for yourself - to learn and practice the techniques
handed down to us by the creators and developers of NLP and to measure by the results
that you get exactly what NLP means for you.
Here's a few definitions that I've learned from the various books and audio materials that
I've studied to get you started:"NLP is an explicit and powerful model of human experience and communication. Using
the principles of NLP it is possible to describe any human activity in a detailed way that
allows you to make many deep and lasting changes quickly and easily" - John O. Stevens
(now better known as Steve Andreas) in the foreword of Frogs into PRINCES - Richard
Bandler & John Grinder.
"It's an attitude that has to do with curiosity, with wanting to know about things,
wanting to be able to influence things, and wanting to be able to influence them in a way
that's worthwhile" - Richard Bandler in Using Your Brain For A Change.
"It's an attitude and a methodology that leaves behind a trail of techniques..." - Richard
Bandler
"For me NLP is the psychology of achievement and inter-personal communication" Chris Howard
"....an owners manual for the mind" - Chris Howard
History of NLP
In the early 1970's a 20 year old psychology student at the University of California,
Santa Cruz (Richard Bandler) met and befriended an associate professor of linguistics
there (John Grinder).
Bandler had originally majored in mathematics and computer science but had switched
when the field of behavioural sciences piqued his interest. Hence why NLP is usually said
to have been created by a linguist and a computer programmer.
Bandler had become particularly interested in the work of therapists Virgina Satir and
Fritz Perls and began to run various workshops and study groups around the subject of
gestalt therapy.
Soon Bandler and Grinder began to work together to develop a behavioural syntax for
gestalt therapy i.e what skills and techniques would help a person overcome a problem.
Adopting an approach of "if it works, use it - if it doesn't work, try something else" they
analysed writings and tape recordings to discover the roots of what allowed Satir and
Perls to produce such remarkable results.
Ideas, insights, and techniques were tried out on friends (including Sleight of Mouth
author Robert Dilts, Judith DeLozier, Leslie Cameron Bandler, and David Gordon) who
soon joined them in developing and extending the work. The enthusiastic and highly
creative group grew and this was how NLP developed.
Out of this search came many of the techniques and methods that are still part of good
NLP Practitioner and NLP Master Practitioner trainings today, techniques such as
anchoring, sensory acuity and calibration, reframing, representational systems and
personal techniques such as Change Personal History.
It became evident that highly effective communicators seemed almost able to create
theraputic magic by their adept use of language. The language patterns that emerged
from this work became the Meta Model which was published in the first NLP book - The
Structure of Magic, published in 1975.
Presuppositions of NLP
If NLP is considered an attitude, then the presuppositions of NLP are the attitude about
the attitude.
Confused? That's right, you are! Remember though that confusion always precedes
understanding - something you'll learn more about in the Stages of competence later.
NLP techniques are relatively simple, afterall they are modelled on things we all do every
day without really thinking about it. However, if you want to actively use these
techniques with volition you'll have to develop a more complex and detailed
understanding about which tools are suitable for which application and how to use them
with skill.
Don't worry if some, or even all of these are confusing - that's OK as confusion always
precedes understanding, remember?
On the next few pages we'll find out more about what each one of these actually means.
The resources an individual needs in order to effect a change are already within them.
If something is humanly possible then it's possible for you to do it too afterall, you're a
human being - aren't you?
This presupposition also includes the concept that we all possess resources such as
courage or sensitivity but that sometimes we are unable to access those resources under
certain sets of circumstances i.e. we may find it difficult to remain calm and logical in the
face of loud, angry and unwarranted verbal abuse, or to be logical and methodical whilst
experiencing overwhelming excitement.
The map is not the territory
This is one of my favourite presuppositions and, in my humble opinion, one of the most
significant underlying principles of the whole ethos of NLP.
Originally coined by the Polish-American philosopher and scientist Alfred Korzybski it
relates to the principle that we, as human beings, do no operate directly on the world
but rather on a model of it.
In layman's terms we use the information we take in through our five senses to build in
our mind an internal representation or internal map of the world. As good as that map
might be, as it exists only in our own mind it is exactly and only that - a map and not
the territory itself, in just the same way that even the best map of the United Kingdom,
even if it was made to scale, could never be the United Kingdom itself. This particular
topic area will be covered in more depth in the Learning Strategy section.
The positive worth of the individual is held constant, while the value and appropriateness
of internal and/or external behavior is questioned.
In short, people are not their behaviours. All learning and hence behaviour is geared
towards adaptation and so behaviour is context dependant. As an example you may
have experienced being less patient and chatty when you're feeling tired and run down,
but would it be fair to be judged as mean and grumpy on the basis of that single
incident?
NLP teaches us that we should accept the person (including ourselves) and be willing to
change the behaviour.
There is a positive intention motivating every behavior, and a context in which every
behavior has value.
A person who has money but spends very little of it may be considered by some to be
mean and behaving in a negative way but, if by doing so that person is able to pay for
their children to have the best possible education, the positive intention of the behaviour
becomes apparent. (That's a good example of reframing by the way, more on that later
too.)
Feedback vs. Failure - All results and behaviors are achievements, whether they are
desired outcomes for a given task/context, or not.
We learn from our mistakes.
There is no such thing as failure - only feedback. Achieving a less-than-desired outcome
is still an achievement. The only way we can fail is to admit defeat and do nothing.
If we can suspend our natural urge to feel bad whenever we are less than 100%
successful we can make valuable learnings and take them forward to improve our
performance on future tasks.
That basically covers the original presuppositions of NLP as described by Richard Bandler.
Here's a couple of recent additions which I've found useful:Respect the other person's model of the world.
The world according to the other person's model is probably somewhat different than the
world in your model, as you will discover in the section on Representational Preferences.
Being prepared to respect that model and even join that person in their model is very
empowering.
Learning Strategy
Introduction
So let's look at the Five Principles for Success in a little more detail to be sure we
fully understand them and what they are going to do for us.
1. Know your outcome
Before embarking on a particular course of action it's a good idea to know what you want
the final outcome to be. Ask yourself - what's my outcome for this, what do I want?
If the outcome is something that will happen some time in the future rather than in the
present it can also be good to keep a written record of what outcome you wanted - and
why.
2. Take positive action
The best way to get the outcome you want is to take positive action and go through the
steps required to get it. Rarely do we get something we want without putting in some
effort up-front.
You may be using this website with a specific outcome in mind - enhancing your
communication and inter-personal skills, beating a fear of flying, easily changing your
diet to include more healthy foods and ditch the bad foods for example.
If you don't have an outcome for using this website, take some positive action and
choose an outcome and then take some more positive action and write it down (we
generally make stronger commitments, even if only to ourselves, to things we put down
in writing).
3. Have sensory awareness to know if you are being effective
Ever found yourself enthusiastically sharing everything you know about something that
you're really interested in only to find that when you look around to find out why the
other person has stopped responding either their eyes have glazed over, they've fallen
asleep or, worse still, they've left the room and you've been talking to yourself for the
past 15 minutes?
Your five senses, (Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic, Olfactory and Gustatory), are there for a
very good reason - they provide exquisite feedback to allow you to gauge if your actions
are producing useful results - or not. Learn to use them well.
You can either carry on doing the same things and continue to produce unwanted
results, or you can adapt your behaviour as necessary until you get your outcome. Which
one works best for you?
The Law of Requisite Variety
From the field of cybernetics comes the Law of Requisite Variety which states:'...the greater the variety within a system, the greater its ability to reduce variety in its
environment through regulation.'
In layman's terms in a system of interaction (i.e. between individual human beings) the
part of the system with the greatest flexibility in it's behaviours will control the system.
As a useful example consider the relationship between parent and child. The parent is
expected to behave in a certain manner, conform to certain patterns of belief laid down
by his peers as to how a 'good parent' should behave. On the other hand, in our society
we are more tolerant of behaviour demonstrated by children - they're only children
afterall. Hence children often have greater behavioural flexibility than adults which they
often use to their advantage i.e. when they hear the magical chimes of the ice cream
van and, very often, they end up controlling the system by adapting their behaviour until
they get their outcome - an ice cream. (My tongue is very firmly in my cheek as a write
this but I think it illustrates the point very well.)
Another, perhaps more succinct consideration is this - if you always do what you've
always done, then you'll always get what you've always got. Flexibility increases choice.
is the one thing you most hate doing. Then imagine that you'll have to do that same
task, over and over, every day for the rest of eternity.....
How does that feel, pretty bad huh?
Okay, shake off that physiology and let's do something else instead. By the way - can
you remember which shoe you put on first this morning?
NOW! Stand up nice and tall. Push your chest out, push your
shoulders back and take three deep breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth
breathing from the top of your lungs and lift your eyes so that you're looking slightly
upwards. Now imagine that helium balloons have been attached to the corners of your
mouth and the outer corner of each eyebrow and that they are pulling your face up into
a big silly grin. Allow the balloons to pull that grin up and out until it covers your whole
face.
NOW - maintain this physiology and the big, silly grin and TRY to feel sad. Go ahead really try to feel sad - it's impossible.
As we will learn from the NLP communication model, physiology is intimately linked to
state and behaviour and a change in any one is reflected in the other two.
When we adopt negative physiology we enter negative emotional states and produce
negative behaviours. Conversely, adopting a positive physiology has positive impacts on
both our emotional state and resulting behviours. When we act positive we produce
positive results.
Our choice to operate from a physiology and psychology of excellence changes our world
for the better and helps us to maximise the results that we produce.
The NLP communication model is another of the building blocks that forms the
foundation of all NLP techniques. Learn this one thoroughly and you're well on your way
to a solid appreciation of NLP.
This model is a way of explaining how we take information from the outside world into
our neurology and how that in turn affects our behaviours.
The process begins with an external event which enters our nervous system through the
five senses that make up our sensory input channels:
These sensory input channels are often referred to in NLP by their initial letters - V, A,
K, O and G respectively.
The NLP communication model includes the notion that our five senses take in up to
2,000,000 (two million) bits of information per second. The notion further states that our
conscious mind can only process 7+/-2* chunks of information per second which equates
to approximately 134 bits per second. It doesn't take a math degree to see that our
fantastic senses make available far more information than the conscious mind can
usefully cope with - so what happens to the rest?
The incoming information passes automatically through a number of filters to reduce the
information down to the 7+/2* chunks or (roughly) 134 bits that our conscious mind can
cope with. The filters do this by:Deletion - to attempt to actively pay attention to everything entering though our
sensory input channels would not be useful. Thus we omit certain parts of our current
experience by selectively paying attention to certain other parts of it i.e. we focus on
what seems most important at any one particular moment in time and allow the rest to
pass us by.
A common example of why deletion is necessary is that of the use of mobile telephones
whilst driving - statistics prove that so much information is deleted when we try to do
these two tasks simultaneously that we end up doing both badly and sometimes with
very serious consequences.
Distortion - occurs when we make shifts in our experience of sensory data by making
misrepresentations of reality. Distortion is a key component of imagination and a useful
tool in motivating ourselves toward our goals. When we plan we use distortion to
construct appealing imaginary futures.
As another example ask yourself a simple question - would you recognise your best
friend if they changed their clothes or styled their hair in a different way? Without the
ability to distort reality the answer would be no. Every time your friend changed a single
aspect of their appearance, hair length, hair colour, clothing type, clothing colour etc.,
you would have to learn that entire configuration and add it to the 'map' which you label
'my best friend'.
Each time you saw your friend the only way you could be sure it was them would be to
mentally examine every 'version' of them in the map until you found one that matched
the person standing in front of you. Add in the fact that they look different depending on
their facial expression, physical posture, state of health etc., etc. and the number of
combinations you would have to learn just to recognise your friend would be huge! If you
have more than one friend then you really have your work cut out for you!
Thus we rely on distortion to allow us to identify a particular thing or person over a wide
range of variance.
The example in the Presuppositions section for feeling less stressed during a job
interview by picturing the interviewer in the nude is also a good example of distortion.
Generalisation - is the process by which we draw global conclusions based on one, two
or more experiences.
A useful example of a generalisation is that of a door. We learn that a door is usually a
conduit between two locations - an exit from one location and simultanously an entry
into another location. We also learn that most doors are fixed along one side about an
axis of rotation and that if we pull or push on the opposite side of the door it will open in
one direction and close in the other. This is a superbly efficient form of learning as once
we've learned how one door works we have the neccessary information to deal with
doors of any colour, size, shape or composition in any location so long as they conform to
that basic type and we can commit this information to memory for future use.
At it's best generalistion is an efficient means of learning information which can be
applied globally. At it's worst it is the way we take a single event and turn it into a
lifetime of experience i.e. most phobias arise as a result of a one-time learning.
*7+/-2 (seven plus or minus two) represents the number of chunks of information that
the conscious mind can usefully attend to at any point in time. To clarify, in optimum
conditions i.e. calm, relaxed, quiet, focussed, an average person could attend to up to 9
chunks of information at any one time. Under less than ideal conditions i.e. noisy,
stressed and distracted by other things, an average person may only be able to attend to
5 chunks of information at any one time. Most of the time the average person can attend
to 7 chunks of information at any one time.
Chunk size is variable and usually relates to the complexity of each chunk. Further
explanations relating to chunking can be found elsewhere on this website.
Learning about the the individual sensory filters and how they delete, distort and
generalise the information coming in through our five senses will be covered on the next
page. For now it's more useful to close the loop on the NLP communication model by
explaining what happens to the information once it has passed through the filters,
providing the resultant 7+/-2 chunks or 134 bits of data that the conscious mind can
usefully attend to.
So far the data from the external event - the sights, sounds, feelings, tastes and smells,
has been filtered down to a manageable size. This data then gets stored in our mind as
an internal representation of that external event. How that internal representation (IR)
compares with the external event will depend on what the filters deleted, how the filters
distorted the data and whether any existing or freshly made generalisations were
applied.
It's also worth noting at this stage that generalisations can get revised as we make new
learnings and these revisions can cause us to re-evaluate internal representations we've
made about past external events i.e. we see things in a new light and have a different
appreciation / change our opinions of something that happened in the past. Remember all learning and behaviour is geared towards adaptation.
So we have an internal representation (or thought if you prefer a 'user friendly' term) of
an external event. That internal representation and our evaluation of it is intimately
linked to our emotional state (how we feel), our physiology (body position, skin colour
and temperature, muscle tone etc.) and to our behaviour (our actions) for example:
Now that we've considered two possible external events and seen how subjectively we
could experience very different emotional states, experience very different changes in
our physiology and exhibit very different behaviours we understand the beginning and
end points of the NLP communication model.
The 'bits-in-the-middle' that influence which set or combination of state and physiology
we will experience and which behaviours that might produce are the filters - so now it's
useful to understand more about how they work and we'll begin to look at that on the
next page.
Perceptual Filters
This page continues from the previous page on the NLP communication model - the
diagram is repeated here for ease of reference.
So now we understand that an external event passes through perceptual filters which
delete, distort and generalise the incoming data, leaving a package of data that we can
usefully attend to consciously. We also understand that our conscious mind stores that
data in an internal representation (or memory) of that external event which is intimately
linked with our emotional state and physiology which in turn influences our behaviours.
The perceptual filters that perform the deletion, distortion and generalisation processes
are organised in layers thus:Meta Programs - are the most unconscious of the perception filters and are content
free i.e. they are not based on any past experience or beliefs. Whether you see the glass
as half empty or half full is an example of one of your meta programs.
Values - are the next most unconscious filter and are the first level at which the filters
have content as they are based upon our experiences to date. Values are those things
we are prepared to fight for and also those things we try to live up to. Values are those
things we are prepared to invest resources in to either achieve or avoid. Values are how
we know right from wrong, good from bad, what's important and what isn't, and they
are also how we decide about how we feel about our actions and the actions of others.
Values are arranged in a hierarchy, usually with most important one at the top and the
lesser ones below. Values are also context dependent - your values about what's
important to you in a relationship are probably very different from you values about
what's important to you in your career. Values can also be linked to and vary with
changes in emotional state.
Beliefs - on one level beliefs are convictions that certain things are true or real and are
also generalisations about the state of the world around us. Beliefs are presuppositions
that we have about certain things and can create or deny personal power for us i.e. we
have a better chance of achieving an objective if we first truly believe we are capable of
doing so. If we believe that we will fail then the likelihood of that being our outcome
increases. In modelling an ability we admire in another individual and desire for
ourselves, finding out what the enabling beliefs are that allow that person to have that
ability is vital.
Attitudes - are collections of values and beliefs around a particular subject. Often we
are quite conscious of our attitudes and often we share them with others i.e. 'Well that's
the way I feel about.....'. Change made at the level of attitude is far more difficult to
achieve than change made at the level of values.
Memories - the collection of memories we build up during the course of our lives deeply
affect both our perceptions and our personality. Our memories are who we are. Some
psychologists believe that as we get older our reactions to present external events
actually have very little to do with the present, and are in fact reactions to gestalts collections of past memories organised in a certain way around certain subjects. Gestalts
are formed when a number of individual experiences of the same type get squashed
together to form one single generalised memory.
Decisions - the sixth filter, also related to memories are decisions which we made in our
past. Decisions about who we are and what we are capable of, especially negative or
limiting decisions, can affect our entire lives. The decisions we make may generate
beliefs, values and attitudes or they may just affect our perceptions though time.
Sometimes we make decisions unconsciously or at a very early age and then forget
them. These decisions may not get re-evaluated in the context of new experience and as
a result can affect our lives in ways which were not originally intended.
There's an NLP joke which goes something like - If you have ten
witnesses to a bank robbery and you interview them all, how many different stories will
you get? 10? No - the correct answer is 11 because there's always one multiple
personality.
Okay, it's not the best joke in the world but it does illustrate another important point on
the theme of The map is not the territory - the differences between one person's internal
map of reality when compared to another person's map can be quite striking. This is the
guiding principle behind another of the Presuppositions of NLP - Respect the other
person's model.
Respecting the other person's model empowers us to communicate with that person
more effectively. We may need to suspend some of our own beliefs, the ones based on
our model, to truly hear what the other person is saying (we're not giving up our beliefs
here, just suspending them temporarily). By doing so we might, just might, find out
something useful that we can use to enrich our own model. If the other individual can do
the same they too stand to gain more from the communication - a true win-win
outcome.
Try this simple exercise to illustrate the point. Sit down with a piece of paper and a pen
and imagine taking a walk along a familiar street - perhaps your local high street. As you
go, write down each landmark (shop, house etc.) that you pass. Try also to include any
small details about each one that stick out such as the colour of the door or of any
signage, any particular sounds or even smells that are associated with that part of the
journey.
Ask a friend or perhaps a family member to undertake the same exercise by themselves
- do not compare notes at this stage.
Once you've both completed the exercise then it's time to compare notes. There are
likely to be a lot of similarities between the two but what we are interested in are the
differences - and you may find a lot of them. The differences illustrate how our internal
maps of the same external locations and events can vary significantly
The final part of the exercise is to walk that journey for real to see whose internal map
best matched the real world and maybe even find areas where the real world is
completely different from either of your internal maps.
FRIENDLY TIP - reading about subjective exerience and NLP is a good place to start
but always remember that actions speak louder than words. You will learn far more from
getting out there and actually DOING than you ever will from reading alone.
we are willing to invest in this learning. Here we cover four stages of competence as a
useful addition to our learning strategy.
Stage 1 we call Unconscious Incompetence because this is where we don't know
what we don't know.
At stage 1 we may not even be aware that an opportunity for learning exists. If we are
aware of the existence of some knowledge or a skill that we don't posess, we may be
unaware of a particularly good reason for acquiring that knowledge or skill, or of it's
relevance to us.
Once we have recognised the existence of that knowledge or skill and of the benefits of
acquiring it for ourselves we are empowered to move forward to the next stage.
A typical example of this would be learning to drive a car. This learning opportunity only
becomes available to most of us once we reach an appropriate age. Before then we are
aware that one can learn to drive a motor vehicle, but there are no significant benefits in
trying to do so until we can usefully (and legally) use that skill.
Stage 2 is where we move into Conscious Incompetence where we do know what
we don't know.
We've already recognised that there is a worthwhile learning opportunity available to us
and therefore that there is an area of knowledge or skill in which we are deficient. We
can now begin to think about how we are going to constructively address that deficiency
and move toward competence.
In the example of learning to drive a car, this is where we would book some lessons with
a qualified instructor and start learning the Highway Code.
The fact that you've reached this point of the website means that
you've already achieved the first two stages of competence. Notice how good it feels to
have made so much progress so quickly and notice what you say to yourself in your own
mind as you realise how much you've already learned.
Stage 3 we call Conscious Competence because this is where we know what we
know.
In stage 3 we focus on actually learning the knowledge or skills that we identified as
being of value to us in Stage 1. To learn effectively we have to actively concentrate and
consciously think about exactly what we are doing at every stage as we store the
learnings that will enable us to make use of our new knowledge reliably, at will and
without assistance in the future.
In the later parts of Stage 3 we should be able to demonstrate the skill or knowledge to
other people, but we may not be able to teach it well to others yet. Repeated practice is
the single most effective way to move from Stage 3 to Stage 4.
In our example of learning to drive a car, passing our driving test would be a good
example of the end phase of Stage 3.
Stage 4 is known as Unconscious Competence which is where we don't know what
we know (that is to say we become less consciously aware of what we know) and
through continued practice the use of what we know becomes second nature and moves
from being a conscious to an unconscious functioning.
People who have been driving for a number of years usually demonstrate unconscious
competence. All of the skills required to drive the car have become so entrenched in
their unconscious that they may be able to do other things at the same time. People may
describe operating at this level of competence is operating intuitively.
At this level of competence we may find that we can effectively teach what we have
learned to others. After an extended period we may also find that as we do what we do
in an unconsciously competent way it has become so instinctual that we actually find
difficulty in explaining it to others. This is why we must avoid complacency and
periodically check our unconscious competence against new standards.
In NLP a well formed outcome must comply with certain criteria, i.e. it must be:1. Stated in the positive
2. Sensory specific
3. Contextualised
4. Self achievable
5. Ecological
6. Worthwhile
Employing these simple criteria in order to set well formed outcomes helps to ensure
that those outcomes will be successful in many ways including:1. Avoidance of unintended costs or consequences
2. Resistance to achieving the goal resulting from
internal conflicting feelings or thoughts about the
outcome.
On the next page we'll examine the criteria and the process of setting well formed
outcomes in more detail.
evidence of my ability and will know I've done a good job ' or 'My design will produce
sales for the business'.
Q3. Where/when/with whom do you want this resource?
It's important that we contextualise our outcomes to ensure that we have them under
appropriate conditions. Let's say we set an outcome of 'I want to be incredibly energetic
all of the time', which sounds great on the surface, but what would happen when we
needed to rest and sleep?
It may be more appropriate to set an outcome of 'I desire abundant energy whenever I
engage in sporting activities'.
Q4. What resources do you need to be able to achieve this?
Successfully achieving our outcomes depends on our having access to appropriate
resources as and when we need them.
List all of the resources that you will need to get your outcome and verify that they are
available to you as appropriate and required.
Pay particular attention to resources which are dependent on others, which may not be
easily attainable. For resources that are not available try to find alternatives that will
serve your purposes equally well in achieving your outcome.
An ecological outcome is one which answers 'YES' to the following three questions - is it
safe to me? Is it safe to others? Is it safe to the planet?
Always ensure that your outcomes are balanced and ecological.
Q6. What is the benefit of this outcome or which of your values will be fulfilled
by achieving it?
Make sure your outcome is worthwhile i.e. something that truly has a useful, positive
impact on your life whether directly, or by proxy by enhancing the lives of others around
you.
An excellent resource which covers Well Formed Outcomes in NLP in more detail is Time
Line Therapy and the Basis of Personality by Tad James and Wyatt Woodsmall
Sensory acuity
Sensory acuity also demands that our representations about the information provided to
us by our five senses must be described using purely sensory based descriptions. We'll
find out more about what this means on the next page.
Take a good look at the guy on the left. In fact, if you want to get
a really good look at him click on the image for a larger view.
Now, before you scroll down and read the rest of this page, take a pen and paper and
write down a description of the guy in the image above. You don't need to write a huge
essay, three or four clear descriptive points should do the trick.
Once you've written your description you can go ahead and scroll down to read the rest
of the exercise.
Here are some things you could have written to describe the picture above:The man looks angry, as if he's pointing at somebody or something and shouting at
them.
He looks scary, as if he's really annoyed.
Now, whilst the picture could lead us to believe that some of these things are true, can
we be certain? The answer is no and in fact what we are doing is what's described in NLP
as a mind read i.e. we've looked at the picture and made certain judgements without
knowing the truth.
Other mind reads about this picture could be that the guy is passionately singing opera,
or that he's cheering his favourite football team as they score a goal!
A sensory based description of this image would include only those things which we can
verify with our own senses such as:His mouth is wide open. His teeth and tongue are visible. There is tension in the skin
beneath his eyes and on the bridge of his nose. The skin at the outer edges of his eyes
is wrinkled. His left arm is raised. His left hand forms a fist with the index finger pointing
towards us.
The moment we ascribe meaning to a physiological shift we are guilty of mind reading.
We must stick to sensory based descriptions in order to use our sensory inputs cleanly.
Perception is projection
Or, if we accept that each of us is a unique human being and that each person's map of
the world is also unique, in order to understand our worlds we attempt to apply meaning
to them - each of us attempts to apply our own meanings to our world in order to
understand it.
In order to understand other people we attempt to apply meaning to their actions, their
behaviours and their communications.
However, as incredible as we are as human beings we are limited in our ability to truly
understand other human beings, why they do the things they do, why they say the
things they say and what they truly mean when they do and say them.
The only way we could truly understand another human being would be to actually
become them - to be born as them, to grow up as them, to have exactly the same
experiences, thoughts, environment and influences as them.
Tools which we use to get around these limitations include our imagination and our
ability to use our map of reality to project meaning onto external objects and events.
These are useful tools but they too are limited in that the projections we make, the
meanings we ascribe to the world around us and our understandings of it, are generated
from within - we project ourselves onto our world, we see things not as they are but as
we are.
It was difficult not to feel irritated. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive as
to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at
all. It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too. So finally with
what I felt was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, "Sir, your
children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn't control them a little
more?"
The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time
and said softly, "Oh, you're right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came
from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don't know what to
think, and I guess they don't know how to handle it either."
Can you imagine what I felt at that moment? My paradigm shifted. Suddenly I saw
things differently, and because I saw differently, I thought differently, I felt differently, I
behaved differently............. Everything changed in an instant.
RAPPORT
What is rapport?
Have you ever had an experience where you were chatting with a
person you had just met and you felt as if you had met them before or that you had
known them your whole life?
Have you ever formed an instantaneous connection with another person for no particular
reason other than you felt that they were your kind of person?
Have you ever had an experience where you were working with another person on a
particular task and your combined input led to the task flowing effortlessly to completion
and produced results far in excess of what you had both originally thought possible
individually?
Have you ever had an experience where your communication with another person was so
effortless and synergistic that you found yourselves completing each other's sentences?
The chances are that you can answer Yes to at least one of these questions and if you
can then you have experienced rapport.
Rapport is something that we as human beings do naturally every day and often without
being consciously aware of it.
As a rule of thumb people like people who are like themselves. It's very easy to get into
rapport with a person you identify with strongly, where there are common experiences
and frames of reference that give you a common ground for communication and
interaction.
Over the next few pages we will identify ways in which we can actively build rapport with
another individual even when we don't immediately have access to the common ground
that would cause rapport to occur naturally.
Ever had a really difficult day, the kind where you feel like you should really have just
thrown the alarm clock at the wall and stayed in bed?
During that really bad day when someone asks you how you're day is going you say - Oh
yeah, I'm having a REALLY GREAT day, never better.
Taking the words (7%) at face value the person asking the question could easily believe
that you were indeed having a really great day (demonstrating this in text works
brilliantly because the words are all you have to go on, you have to imagine the rest).
However, when we consider the sarcastic tone of voice emphasising the words REALLY
GREAT (tonality - 38%), the look of dismay on your face, drooping shoulders, drooping
head and the huge sigh as you force the words out (physiology - 55%) it becomes
evident once we have the full communication that the meaning of your communication is
actually the complete opposite of the words that you used!
A key point to remember is that in this example physiology and tonality are heavily
exaggerated for emphasis - in regular every day communication, shifts in physiology and
tonality are far more subtle and often so subtle that they are outside of our conscious
awareness.
Thus by matching and mirroring the physiology and tonality of the person we are
communicating with we can make ourselves most like them, and thus generate rapport,
without their becoming consciously aware of the process. Remember that subtlety is the
key. Make your matching and mirroring a feint reflection of the other person's behaviour
so that it does not become obvious to them consciously.
We can also match and mirror the words that are used by the person we are
communicating with. This will obviously be more inside their conscious awareness but
will add to the rapport as using some of the same words is a natural part of
conversation.
Let's first of all consider some of the parts of a person's physiology that we can mirror.
An exhaustive list is far beyond the scope of this article - there are infinite subtle
elements and nuances that we can match and mirror if only we have the sensory acuity
to notice them. Here are a few suggestions:Posture
Gestures
Facial Expressions
I spent some time considering useful ways to describe or define facial expressions for the
purposes of this article and came to the conclusion that as my model of the world differs
from yours, my subjective description of a facial expression would differ from yours.
Humans have 53 facial muscles which contribute in varying degrees to a myriad nuances
of facial expression that we are capable of. If you have enough sensory acuity you will be
able to distinguish facial expressions far more exquisitely than I can describe here in
mere words alone and, as a rule of thumb, if you can observe it you should be able to
match/mirror it.
Obvious areas of the face to consider are the brow (is it wrinkled or smooth, raised or
lowered?), the mouth (including lips, teeth and tongue), the bridge of the nose (wrinkled
or smooth?), the eyes, the cheeks and cheek bones, the jaw and also look for facial
symmetry or asymmetry.
If you want to find out more about facial expressions you can learn all about lip corner
pullers, nasolabial deepeners and lip puckerers by studying the Facial Action Coding
System or FACS.
Blink rate
Not an obvious part of physiology to match, some may say, but it can be more powerful
than one might think in establishing rapport and it is very far outside of a person's
consciousness.
Breathing
* Avoid matching the breathing of a person with a respiratory condition such as asthma distressing for them and unhealthy for you.
For example, if a person is speaking quickly and loudly then you would speak quickly and
loudly to match them and establish rapport. On the other hand if the other person is
speaking v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y and you are talking at high speed you are going to break the
rapport and blow them out.
Matching key words
Another useful technique is to match the last three or four words they say, the last three
or four words they say, using the same pitch, rate, timbre and volume as them.
Matching another person's key words is also useful in establishing rapport. For example,
watching the football with your father-in-law you notice that he shouts Go on! every
time his team gets near the goal mouth. You on the other hand aren't really that
interested in football so don't have the common frames of reference that would lead to a
naturally occuring rapport state. You could however increase the chances of a good
rapport by matching Go on! at appropriate times. Add in matching pitch, volume and
tempo and you're well on your way to improving your likeability score with the old chap.
Rapport indicators
COMMUNICATION STYLES
Representational systems
Representational preferences
All human beings are unique and each of us will tend to have a
preferred representational system that we use to organise our experience and to
construct our internal maps of reality.
Some of us will be mainly Visual and will find when we think about the world that our
thoughts consist largely or even entirely of images - both real and imaginary. The images
may be still or moving - something which we will explore more when we look at
submodalities.
Some of us will have a preferred representational system of Auditory and will organise
our thoughts around the sounds that we have heard, including words that have been
spoken to us (as opposed to words that we say to ourselves in our own mind which
would be classed as AD).
Others still will find that their preferred representational system is Kinesthetic and they
will organise their experience by how things make them feel.
If we consider the impact of representational preferences in conjunction with the filtering
processes from the NLP Communication Model we can appreciate even more fully how
one person's internal map of the world will differ significantly from that of another
person, how the map is not the territory.
Three people, each with a different preferred representational system, engaging in the
same experience will have very different internal representations of that single
experience.
Over the next few pages we will consider how we can establish not only our own
preferred representational system, but also how we can discover the preferred
representational systems of other people and how we can make use of that knowledge
once we have it.
Sensory predicates
To illustrate, here are some examples of predicate phrases that you might hear and be
able to use to identify another person's preferred representational system:Visual
Auditory
Kinesthetic
Auditory digital
EYE PATTERNS
Eye patterns introduction
The eye pattern diagram above represents the eye patterns of a normally organised or
normally wired right handed person. By normally organised or normally wired we mean
that the person is not reverse wired or reverse organised which will be covered in more
detail later. For simplicity we'll give the normally organised right handed person a name
by which we will refer to him subsequently - Jim.
When we think about things visually (or make pictures if you prefer) our eyes tend to
move upward.
When Jim looks upward and to his left (or to the right as you look at him) he is most
likely to be remembering pictures of things he has seen before. In NLP this is described
as accessing Visual remembered or Visual recall (Vr).
Conversely, when Jim looks up and to his right (or to the left as you look at him) he is
most likely to be accessing Visual construct (Vc) and constructing pictures of things he
has never seen before, imagining how something could look.
When people think about things auditorily i.e. sounds including spoken words, their eyes
will tend to look left and right as they look towards one ear or the other or their eyes
may move rapidly from ear to ear.
When Jim looks toward his left ear (to the right as you look at him) he is most likely to
be accessing Auditory recall (Ar) and remembering sounds he has heard before.
Conversely, when Jim looks toward his right ear (to the left as you look at him) he is
most likely to be accessing Auditory construct (Ac) and thus imagining, or constructing,
sounds he has never heard before.
In the lower quadrant Jim has Kinesthetic (K) on his right, and Auditory digital (Ad) on
his left.
When Jim looks down and to his left he is most likely accessing the Auditory digital
channel - the channel in which he hears the words he says to himself inside his own
mind or, if you prefer, hears his own thoughts. This may look/sound/feel unusual in
written form but it's perfectly natural and something most people do all the time.
And last, but not least, when Jim looks down and to his right, or to the left as you look
at him, he is most likely accessing Kinesthetic, his feelings.
Statistically most people are normally organised in that their eye accessing patterns
match the diagram above.
A smaller percentage of people, including many people who are left-handed, will be
reverse organised. For reverse organised people a mirror opposite of the above diagram
applies - Vc, Ac and K on the right and Vr, Ar and Ad on the left.
To become highly effective in using eye patterns you should practice them until you
become unconsciously competent in their use (remember the four stages of
competence?).
If the concept of eye patterns is new to you then you may be wondering just how you
can learn easily how a person is thinking by observing their eye patterns and also
distinguish if they are normally organised or reverse organised.
The answer is really quite simple and elegant - simply provide an appropriate context
such that the natural response of that person is exactly the response we are looking for.
As if that wasn't simple enough, providing the right context to observe and measure a
person's eye accessing cues can be as simple as asking them a few simple, well designed
questions and watching where their eyes go.
We can cause a person to access particular representational systems and display the eye
patterns we are looking for by asking simple questions. Here are a few example
questions you could use:Visual recall (Vr)
Kinesthetic (K)
So now that we know about eye patterns and how to look for
them, how is that information useful to us? How can we take the knowledge that people
tend to move their eyes in certain ways depending on how they are thinking and do
something useful with it?
Examples of uses for eye patterns include:
Enhancing communication
Improving rapport
Eliciting strategies
Here's a few basic example scenario's to illustrate the point. We'll use a sales person
(Jim) and a prospective client (Sue):Jim: So Sue, from our range of products our poopelwinkleblatter would be the best
option for your company
Sue: (looking upwards and to her left - Vr) hmmm, I'm not sure Jim.
Jim: (speaking quickly) Well, if you remember looking at the feature list you'll see that
the poopelwinkleblatter ticks all your boxes in terms of requirements. Can you see how
this would benefit your company?
Sue: (looking upwards to her right - Vc) well, the poopelwinkelblatter would certainly
enhance our window displays.
OR
Sue: (looking toward her left ear - Ar) You say that this will cut our manufacturing costs
by 15%, that doesn't sound possible.
Jim: (speaking more slowly) I hear what you're saying, it does sound incredible so let
me explain exactly how you will make those savings effortlessly. Would that be music to
your ears?
OR
Sue: (speaking slowly and looking down and to her right - K ) I'm not sure Jim, I still
feel uncertain, as if something is missing from your proposal or not quite clicking into
position.
Jim: (speaking slowly) That's OK Sue, if I were you I'd feel exactly the same - you need
to feel comfortable with your purchase so let's run through the features and benefits one
more time so you can really get a good grasp of what you're getting your hands on.
In the scenarios on the previous page Jim detected how Sue was
thinking from moment-to-moment from her eye accessing cues and matched his
predicates to pace her current experience, join her in her model of the world and hence
enhance his communication and the level of rapport.
There was also reference to the speed at which Jim and Sue were speaking to each other
but no explanation as to the significance of the rate of their speech. So what was that all
about?
Jim was utilising further knowledge that he had learned about representational
preferences to further enhance his communication with Sue.
Visual people often speak very quickly. They are thinking in pictures and sometimes they
think faster than they can effectively speak. The pictures move so fast that it's difficult if
not impossible to vocalise every thought adequately.
Auditory people often speak a little more slowly. Often how they say something is more
important to them than what they say and so they will be very precise in their vocal
communication. Auditory people will take the time to ensure that you have fully heard
what they want to communicate and they will think carefully about the words you use
too.
Sometimes their eyes will flick left and right for several seconds as they say the words to
themselves in their own mind, finally speaking only when they are happy with what they
have heard. It's also fair to say that some auditory people love to hear the sound of their
own voice.
Kinesthetic people often speak more slowly still. Their communication is often
interspersed with pauses as they check how they feel about what you've communicated
to them, and then check to feel about the response they have come up with.
Jim detected this information during his communication with Sue and modified his own
behaviour to match Sue's and thus significantly enhance his communication with her.
Submodalities
Introduction
be less useful than we would like, why not recode the experience in a more useful way?
Afterall, each of us is the cartographer of our own map of reailty and we can change the
map in any way we choose that more usefully serves our purposes.
Can you think of something that you really don't like to do but have to do on a regular
basis whether you like it or not? Would you like a way to transform the way you think
about that thing you don't like to do so that it becomes something you really enjoy and
even look forward to?
Can you think of a food or drink that you really like or even crave but, for the sake of
your health/vitality/waistline should consume less of? How would you like a way to
transform the way you think about that food/drink so that you like it less and your
cravings become a thing of the past?
Maybe there's something that you WANT to like but you just can't bring yourself to try it,
or just one negative aspect of it outweighs all the positives?
You can use submodality techniques to recode your experiences in such a way that you
can make those useful changes easily, quickly and gracefully.
Submodalities defined
Submodality examples
Kinesthetic
Is it focussed or defocussed?
Is it bright or dim?
Is it clear or grainy?
Is it solid or transparent?
Is it framed or panoramic?
Is it fast or slow?
Auditory
This list is very far from exhaustive - human beings can make many, many distinctions in
the qualities of their subjective experience, which is one of the reasons why comparing
your own experience with that of other people is so fascinating.
Swish patterns
Con Air). When I look at the expression on my face in this picture I look confident,
relaxed, pleased that I've made this change.
As the swish pattern is a fast technique I found it useful to take a few moments to make
the two pictures as real as possible by tweaking the submodalities of each until they
were just right. This way I could access the pictures quickly and easily when I came to
do the swish.
Once I had my two pictures it was time to swish using the following steps:1. Access the first picture - the associated picture of
the present state.
2. Imagine that the picture is on a rubber sheet.
Suddenly the rubber sheet is grabbed from behind
and the picture is crumpled down to a tiny dot.
Then the rubber sheet is pulled rapidly backwards
so that the picture is drawn off into the distance
with it.
3. Imagine the tension in the rubber as it is pulled
rapidly backwards, further and further, until ->>SW-I-S-H->> the rubber snaps back into place and is
now showing the second picture - the dissociated,
desired state.
4. Clear the screen
5. Run the process again from step one, repeating the
process seven times. It's important that you do this
process as quickly as you can - you should need
only a very few seconds to do each repetition.
Once you've done the swish seven times you should find that if you can think of the old
picture it is immediately and automatically replaced by the new picture - the swish has
become an automated process inbuilt in your neurology.
If the swish doesn't become automatic after the first seven repetitions, do another seven
repetitions and test again.
Swish patterns usually become fully automated after 3, 7 or 21 repetitions.
Let's review the technique in a little more detail so as to gain a greater understanding of
some of it's more subtle aspects.
Pattern interrupt
The swish is a form of pattern interrupt designed to assist us in changing direction - to
interrupt the pattern we have been running (problem state or behaviour) and replace it
with a more useful pattern (desired state or behaviour).
When we engage in the problem state or behaviour we are running a pattern that is
coded and stored in our neurology.
Let's use for a moment a metaphor of our brain being a record player (or an MP3 player
for those of you too old to remember what a record player looks like). When we engage
the problem state or behaviour it's a lot like playing a record over and over (or listening
to the same track on your MP3 player repeatedly).
What the pattern interrupt helps us to do is scratch the record (or scramble the MP3
data) so it can never be played in the same way again.
We then replace the record (or MP3) with a new tune - the desired state or behaviour.
Picture 1 - associated - present state - undesired
The first picture represents the behaviour or state that we wish to change. Hence it is
something we have already experienced which is why we make the picture associated as seen through our own eyes.
As we've already experienced this state or behaviour we'll probably have an internal
representation of it which includes kinesthetics or feelings. As this state / behaviour is
something we wish to change we will probably have negative feelings about it.
Associating fully into the picture and seeing it through our own eyes also triggers the
kinesthetics - putting us in touch with the negative feelings that we wish to move away
from and creating a push effect - pushing us in the direction of.....
Picture 2 - dissociated - desired state
We create the second picture as dissociated to help to create momentum toward a
compelling future. We are essentially showing ourselves how things could look and how
we could look having made this change now.
People who move toward what they do want are usually more successful than people
who move away from what they don't want.
By dissociating the second picture we help to project it internally not only as a
worthwhile goal but also as something achievable in reality, and this creates momentum
that pulls us toward this desired state.
The swish
The studies which led to the development of NLP techniques found that when we
visualise images, the strength of the feelings we associate with the images can be
directly affected by submodality distinctions such as the size of the image and the
brightness.
Big, bright images up close in our field of vision usually trigger stronger feelings than
small, dark images which are off in the distance. (This couldn't be why action movies are
so much better on the cinema screen or why TV screens are growing in size almost daily,
could it?)
Try it out - think of something that excites or scares you. Make the picture big and bright
and pull it towards you until it's really, really close - you'll probably find the feelings you
associate with the picture get stronger as it gets nearer, bigger and brighter.
Now gradually push the picture off into the distance. As it recedes into the distance it
gets smaller and darker until it's hard to make out the detail of the image at all. As it
slides away you'll probably find the effect it has on your feelings getting less and less.
Swish leverages these findings - we push the undesired image further away, which in
turn makes it smaller and darker and less emotionally significant to us. In so doing we
provide a clear instruction to our neurology that we wish to move away from this state /
behaviour.
Then the desired image comes rushing back in at high speed to replace the undesired
state / behaviour with the desired state / behaviour.
This too is an element of the swish that is vital to it's success. Whatever we take away in this case the problem state / behaviour - must be replaced with something else - the
desired state / behaviour. Our unconscious mind doesn't like gaps and, in the absence of
something better, it will tend to fill the gap by replacing the problem state / behaviour
right back where it came from.
The speed
The swish works best when it's done rapidly. Why? Because brains don't learn slowly brains learn quickly.
Imagine being shown a picture on the first page of a small pad of paper and then, a
week later, being shown the second page containing the same image again with some
small changes. Imagine this process spanning several months, each week being shown
subsequent pages with the image changing slighty each week from the week before.
If you were shown the pad in this way you would probably find it unremarkable,
relatively meaningless and quite disinteresting.
It would only be when you were shown all of the pages in rapid succession that the
greater meaning would become apparent as, through persistence of vision, your brain
would connect all the disjointed images, see the pictures moving and realise that the pad
was in fact a small motion picture in the form of a flick book (or flip book if you're from
the USA).
Just as we can only fully understand the flick book when the pages are accessed quickly,
our brains learn better when they are able to make connections between pieces of
information quickly - which is why the swish works best when it's done at high speed.
Future pacing
In the swish pattern example we would test by thinking about the problem
state/behaviour or, if we are working with someone else, by asking them to think about
the problem state / behaviour.
If the person who had done the swish found that thinking about the problem state /
behaviour caused them to rapidly and automatically switch to thinking about the desired
state / behaviour then we could usefully accept that the result of our test was positive
and that the swish had yielded the desired outcome.
If we test and find that we don't get the expected results we could repeat the process (in
this case by repeating the swish pattern) and test again.
If after repeating the process a number of times we still don't get the desired results
what should we do? The answer is simple - if what you are doing isn't working, do
something else.
If you are certain that you've set a well formed outcome and you have enough sensory
acuity to know from the feedback you receive that you are not getting the desired
results, then ANYTHING ELSE has a better chance of succeeding than what you've been
doing so far. Apply the five principles for success and utilise your behavioural flexibility to
find some other way of getting your desired result.
Your choices here may include doing the same NLP technique differently, switching to a
different NLP technique or something else. Remember the law of requisite variety?
2. Future pacing
Successful testing enables us to immediately test and verify that the NLP technique
we've used has produced the desired result(s).
A successful test does not necessarily mean that the desired result(s) will carry forward
and continue to appear in our behaviour automatically in appropriate contexts in our
future. This is where future pacing enters the equation.
Future pacing could be usefully compared to rehearsal for the unconscious mind.
Future pacing the earlier swish pattern is as simple as asking the person to imagine a
particular time and context at some time in their future where their natural response
would have been the old state / behaviour.
Get them to fully associate into that future scenario, visually, kinesthetically, auditorily 'As you step forward to that future time now, step into your body, see what you would
see, hear the sounds around you and feel the feelings of really being there'.
Once they are associated into the future experience test that their response to it is the
desired state / behaviour from the swish pattern.
Have them repeat this process two or three times, each time stepping into some
different future time where their desired outcome is to have the desired state /
behaviour replace the old problem state / behaviour.
If you get the desired results the future pace is complete - simple as that!
The future pacing process should help to ensure that the seeds of achievement you plant
today continue to bear fruit into the future.
Like to dislike
It's also important to consider submodalities from the major representational systems Visual,
Kinesthetic and Auditory. Let's start with some sample questions for the visual modality
(remember to record the answers for use in the next stage):1. Do you have a picture?
2. Is it black-and-white or colour?
3. Is it bright or dim?
4. Near or far?
5. Associated or dissociated?
6. Still picture or a movie?
7. 3D or flat?
8. Focussed or defocussed?
9. Framed or panoramic?
10. Is the picture centred of off to one side?
Once you've elicited the visual submodalities of the substance that the person likes, ask
them if there are any sounds that are important. If the answer is yes then elicit the
auditory submodalities, if no then skip auditory submodalities. (See the earlier
submodalities page for examples of submodality distinctions).
Ask the person if there are any feelings that are important. Again, elicit the kinesthetic
submodalities if the answer is yes, skip them if no.
Olfactory and gustatory modalities tend to play little or no part in this particular process
so skip those also.
Once you have a list of all the important submodality distinctions for the liked substance,
get them to break state (i.e. clear the screen or ask them a complete non-sequitur such
as Do you smell popcorn?) then repeat the process above, this time eliciting the
submodalities of the substance the person dislikes.
When you have two lists of submodality distinctions (one for the liked substance, one for
the disliked) it's time to move to the next stage - contrastive analysis.
Contrastive analysis
The next stage in the like to dislike technique, once we've elicited
the important submodalities of the liked substance and the disliked substance, is to
compare the two sets of submodalities to find the drivers, the difference that makes a
difference.
Start off simply, by comparing the two sets of submodalities side-by-side and noting any
differences between the two sets.
Each of the differences will play a part in differentiating between a substance that the
person likes and a substance that they don't like. Certain of the differences will have a
more powerful influence than the rest, and these we call the drivers. As a rule of thumb,
changing a driver will cause all the other submodalities to pull in alignment with the
driver automatically.
Typically three distinctions will stand out as drivers - the location of the picture, the size
of the picture or the difference between associated and dissociated.
Map across the contrasting submodalities
To complete the process we map the constrasting submodalities from the substance the
person doesn't like on to the substance they do like - in this case we map the
submodalities of cough syrup onto red wine.
For the exercise let's assume that our subject likes red wine and dislikes cough syrup.
Their picture for red wine is a large, colour picture in the centre of their field of vision
and is dissociated (they see themselves drinking it and enjoying it).
Their picture for cough syrup is smaller, in the bottom-right corner of their field of vision,
is black and white and associated (they see a spoon of cough syrup being thrust toward
their mouth).
To change like to dislike and have them dislike red wine, we ask them to imagine a
dissociated, black and white picture of a glass of wine being thrust toward their mouth
and have them move that picture into the bottom-right corner of their field of vision and
make it the same size as the cough-syrup picture.
If we've correctly elicited the submodalities and correctly mapped across the contrasting
ones, the drivers in particular, the person we are working with should find that they
dislike red wine with the same intensity that they dislike cough syrup.
If, when they think about red wine, they also display the exact same unconscious
physiology changes that we earlier noted were associated only with cough syrup and
not with red wine, we have a very strong indication that the process has indeed
achieved our desired outcome - like to dislike.
Simple, quick and effective.
(If you or the person you're working with decide that you really would prefer to like the
substance again, take the opportunity to develop your skills further by reversing the
process by returning substance back to it's original submodalities).
Persuasive communication
Introduction
Linguistic frames
Agreement frame
The fourth indicator of rapport is our ability to pace and lead the
person we are communicating with.
The agreement frame is a linguistic tool that we can use to verbally pace the person we
are communicating with and then lead them to where we want the communication to go.
The agreement frame takes one of the following forms:
I agree........and........
I appreciate........and........
I respect........and........
For the purposes of our illustrative example let's consider an imaginary communication
between two characters - A and B.
A says: We've got so much work to do to complete this project. We're going to have to
work late to get everything finished on time.
B says: I understand how you feel, but I've had enough for one day and I'd much rather
go home now and finish things up tomorrow.
For the purposes of our example we're going to assume that A's response to B's
disagreement is to feel displeased (remember - the meaning of your communication is
the response that you get).
B could have elegantly achieved his desired outcome - going home for the day - in such
a way that A was more likely to feel agreeable, simply by wrapping an agreement frame
around his disagreement as in the following example:A says: We've got so much work to do to complete this project. We're going to have to
work late to get everything finished on time.
B says: I agree that we have a lot to do, and I think that if we go home now and
recharge our batteries we'll finish the job in half the time tomorrow.
Let's look at some of the fundamental differences between the two examples.
In the first example B may as well have said 'I understand how you feel , but my wants
and needs are more important than anything else and I'm going home'.
In the second example B uses one of the agreement frame forms mentioned above - I
agree........and........
Firstly B avoids claiming to understand A. The fact is that as B's model of the world
differs from A's model, B could never truly understand A.
Claiming to understand another person whilst at the same time holding a belief or
opinion which differs from theirs is like to result in a polarity response in that person i.e.
in this case the polarity response is likely to be no - you don't understand!
Thus by avoiding claiming to understand A, B presents less opportunity for resistance
and avoids the polarity response.
By agreeing with part of A's communication B begins to pace A by acknowledging A's
model of the world.
In the second example B the continues to pace A by replacing but with the and part of
the agreement frame.
Linguistically the word but is known as a negation operator. Used in a sentence the word
but negates everything that comes before it.
In this regard but is a very powerful word. Ever been on the receving end of a stream of
positive communication and thought to yourself 'wait for the but...wait for the but...'?
When the but comes along it negates all the positive aspects of the communication and
we're left with the negative.
The agreement frame wraps neatly around any negative in such a way that overall the
communication is received in a positive light.
So far B's second communication has two pacing elements - I agree + and.
The final element of the agreement frame switches to leading the person we are
communicating with in the direction of our desired outcome i.e.
I agree........and........(X)
I appreciate........and........(X)
I respect........and........(X)
Purpose frame
Illustrative examples don't have to be dull and boring - let's inject a little tongue-incheek humour:
Boss replies - okay, I'll supply you with some extrathick socks.
Thus the boss was able to satisfy the purpose/intention of his eskimo employee's request
without actually providing exactly what was asked for.
The added bonus is that the result is a win-win - our eskimo friend has nice warm feet
and the boss keeps his employee happy and avoids the cost and inconvenience of
installing underfloor heating.
What if frame
or
or
or
The what if frame is not a complete intervention in and of itself. Rather it is a catalyst
intended to trigger a chain reaction of processes in the subject to go around, over or
through a limiting belief and begin to generate more useful beliefs and generalisations.
If we think of the limiting beliefs and generalisations as a dam across the river of
creativity and infinite possibility, the what if frame is the key process that triggers the
collapse of that dam and releases the flow of generative change which acts to enrich a
person's model of the world.
Don't do (X)
they have to think about the negative part of what you've said just to make sense of it.
When we start to think about the negation we begin to imagine doing it and thus become
more likely to do the very thing we are trying not to do!
For example, when you tell a child Don't spill your drink, in order to process the sentence
the child has to think about spilling the drink.
Whilst they are internally imagining spilling the drink they focus on their internal map of
reality instead of paying attention to what's going on in current external experience.
Having experienced spilling the drink internally and the associated consequences, they
are likely to experience the negative kinesthetics that go along with that, resulting in
increased muscle tension.
They've now switched from calmly carrying the drink in a relaxed manner, concentrating
on where they are going to clumsily carrying the drink in a nervous manner whilst paying
attention to internal experience. Ironically, telling them not to spill the drink is more
likely to produce that undesired result than if we'd said nothing at all - they probably
hadn't even thought of it until we mentioned it!
A better instruction would have been That's right, carry the drink just like that, nice and
carefully or, with a simpler form commonly used with small children or when time is of
the essence - the drink stays in the cup.
When we say it the way we want it - state our outcome in the positive, tell the person
what we want rather than what we don't want, we actually create internal
representations in the person we are communicating with that significantly increase the
chances of getting our desired outcome.
Remember the rule and say it the way you want it!
"Speaking in quotes"
When we wish to communicate clearly and effectively with other people we tend to be
very direct in our communication. By being very direct and explicit in our communication
we leave the other person in no doubt about what we want, what we want them to do,
how we want them to do it etc.
One drawback in this method of communication is that it can trigger resistance from the
other person - they may not want to do what we ask or they may not want to do it
exactly how we want them to.
Now you may say "Nobody likes to be told what to do" and you'd be right.
"How can we communicate precisely in a way that doesn't give rise to resistance?", I
hear you ask. The answer is to put your communication inside quotes.
Speaking in quotes is really easy to do - think of something you want to say, put it in
quotes and attribute it to someone else:I remember watching a movie about a guy who could never make his mind up and his
best friend said to him "....just stop wasting time and make your mind up already, if you
don't like your choice you can change it later".
Quotes can be used in many ways including:
When I decided to write about speaking in quotes on this website I said to myself
"quotes is such a powerful and flexible technique and so easy to learn that those who
read it will already be thinking about how they can use it even before they reach the end
of the article"
And I bet you are, aren't you?
Utilising negatives
I wouldn't say that we can choose with certainty which one would work best but I'd put
my money on the second one.
In the first example the teacher tries to motivate the student by telling him that the test
will be difficult. This student may respond well to this type of 'away-from' motivation and
sharpen his focus. On the other hand the internal representation he may generate from
this statement is 'this test will be difficult for you because you're not up to it'.
(Remember - the meaning of your communication is the response that you get).
In the first example the teacher also tells the student to try to focus and do his best,
which again implies that he will fail or at least not be entirely successful.
In the second example just in the phrase '...I wouldn't suggest this test will be easy for
you' alone there are multiple messages expressed and implied - let's consider just a few
of them:1. The teacher is actually indicating that the test has
been set at a level which will provide a worthwhile
Presuppositions
The portions of our communication which are implied rather than expressly stated are
known linguistically as presuppositions.
Presupposition is the name given to an implied fact that must be assumed before a given
sentence can be accepted as true.
All sentences contain or imply presuppositions as we could not communicate effectively if
we had to prove everything we say all of the time.
Presuppositions are powerful elements of communication in three main ways:
I exist
Shoes exist
Suddenly this simple phrase becomes far more interesting (well, maybe not, but you
need to learn to think this way if you want to be able to detect and utilise
presuppositions effectively).
Just think about this for a second - you read the above natural language phrase and
probably found it entirely unremarkable. What you were probably unaware of was the
fact that unconsciously you accepted all of the presuppositions listed above, and possibly
some of your own, simply in order to make sense of the sentence.
Now, when you learn to utilise presuppositions with volition in your own communication,
you have a very powerful tool for influencing the way others think without their being
consciously aware of it.
Presuppositions (2)
Detecting presuppositions
Types of presupposition
All nouns are presuppositions - when we name an object it is presupposed that the
object exists. Thus in the above statement there is a presupposition of existence of
John, of the house and of the mountain.
Adds a presupposition of cause and effect - that it's possible for the mountain to
cause John to do something. Often include phrases such as caused, forced, led, made
and triggered.
Includes an inclusive OR. Where an exlusive OR allows only two options (1+1), the
inclusive OR allows more options (1+n). This type of language construction offers
choices or suggestions and can also stimulate the person we are communicating with to
generate choices of their own - useful if the person had not considered what choices
might be available to them.
Both the exclusive OR and the inclusive OR, whilst offering choices / suggestions, also
presuppose a need for action on the part of the person we are communicating with i.e.
they send the message DO SOMETHING.
HYPNOTIC LANGUAGE
Hierarchy of ideas
If we return to our previous example of car and chunk up one level by asking the
question 'What is this an example of?' we may chunk up to motor vehicle.
If we chunk up one more level by asking the question again we may chunk up to vehicle.
Chunk up again and we may arrive at transportation and eventually to movement or
even existence.
Each time we chunk up one level we move to a higher level of abstraction and I'm pretty
sure you would agree that existence is a far more abstract concept than car.
Chunking laterally
So far we've looked at chunking down to fine detail and chunking up to the big picture.
You will benefit from being able to chunk up and down skilfully and you will benefit even
more from being able to chunk laterally or sideways.
How do we chunk sideways? Simple - first chunk up one level, then chunk down some
place else.
For example if we take the word Painting and chunk up one level we could chunk up to
Art. If we then ask ourselves 'What are other examples of art?' we could chunk down to
sculpture, music, dance or any number of art forms.
By using this process of chunking up then back down we've effectively chunked sideways
- in this particular context we chunked from up from painting to art, and then sideways
and down again to sculpture, music, dance etc.
When we chunk sideways we begin by chunking up by one hierarchical level and end by
chunking back down to the same hierarchical level we started from. Thus the chunk(s)
we end with are on the same level as the chunk we started with.
Communication tends to flow better and be more useful when all of the people involved
are using similar sized chunks from the same hierarchical level. This is also one of the
reasons why the person controlling the level of abstraction also controls the
communication.
A particularly good use of lateral chunking is in negotiation and although it wasn't stated
overtly at the time we've already looked at an example of this in the purpose frame.
When you become skilled at chunking up, down and sideways one of the things you will
notice is an exponential increase in your communication skills. Another thing that you'll
notice is your increasing ability to think circles around the people you communicate with.
For the time being I'm going to leave the concept of chunking here as a single building
block without further explaining it's nature or it's uses.
As we move forward through the topic areas of Hypnotic Language, Precise
Communication and beyond I invite you, gentle reader, to engage in the inductive
learning process of discovering the uses of chunking inherent therein for yourself.
I make this choice because sometimes we learn more and learn better when we discover
the AHA! moments for ourselves.
Read on!
Utilising ambiguity
Imagine finding yourself on the receiving end of a plea. Then imagine being on the
receiving end of an order or a demand.
Compare and contrast those thoughts and your reactions to them - are they different?
Would you react differently to a sincere, heartfelt plea than you would to a forcefully
delivered demand?
Are the words '...it would be ever so useful if you wouldn't mind...' more or less
appealing than the words '...Do it now and do it like I told you...'?
It is fairly common to find that people are more resistant to being told what to do than
they are to being asked to do something, or to being offered a suggestion which they
can freely choose to accept or reject.
Linguistic transformation
The entire process which links a Deep Structure to it's Surface Structure is called a
derivation.
The process of derivation for very specific language is relatively simple. The very fact
that there is no ambiguity makes it highly probable that the Surface Structure has a
single, specific Deep Structure meaning. Thus the unconscious processes used to
'translate' the Surface Structure into the underlying Deep Structure meaning operate
with relative speed and accuracy.
A Surface Structure constructed using vague and ambiguous language on the other
hand, usually has not one but multiple possible Deep Structure meanings. Such a
Surface Structure reduces the likelihood of resistance in the person we are
communicating with by:
These are some of the things which contribute towards providing a context in which the
natural response of the person we are communicating with is to willingly accept our
communication.
You're wondering about certain things.... and that's a good thing.... because it is a good
thing to wonder
And the very fact that you're wondering means that you can come to new insights and
new understandings about the materials that you're learning
And those insights and understandings will allow you to begin to.... change things in
your life.... at the unconscious level.... and at the conscious level.... in such a way that
your behaviours may begin to.... shift.... and change.... and support the direction that
you're moving in your life now
Now I don't know if your unconscious.... knows more or less than you think it does
And when you think about it.... for a second.... your unconscious.... right.... now....
Is making new connections.... new neurological connections which will allow you to see
things in new ways and understand things at deeper levels.... haven't you
Already begun to make those connections now
And I don't know if those connections are going to come in the form of pictures or....
places or sounds or ideas....
Or feelings.... feelings that will lead you in the direction of making the kinds of
changes.... that you're destined to make
Now, all of the italic text above was hypnotic language purposely constructed to be
vague and ambiguous.
And whilst, in my experience, hypnotic language tends to be more influential when
spoken than it is when written, you may have experienced certain responses to it as you
were reading it.
One of the important things to notice is that the permissive style and the vague and
ambiguous nature of the language reduces the likelihood of a clash with the world model
of the reader, and thus provides a context where the most natural response is
acceptance of the communication.
The Milton Model is named after Milton H. Erickson (1901 1980), an American psychiatrist specialising in medical hypnosis and family therapy.
During his lifetime Milton was widely considered to be the world's greatest medical
hypnotist and he was widely known for his successful and often 'miraculous' work with
'impossible' clients, as well as for his extensive writings on hypnosis.
An attack of anterior poliomyelitis at the age of 17 rendered Erickson almost totally
paralysed for several months, but with his vision, hearing and thinking unimpaired.
Quarantined at home on the farm Erickson whiled away the hours by turning his
attention to the observation and study of human behaviour, particularly that of his
parents, eight siblings, and the practical nurse responsible for his care.
Having already a little knowledge of body language and other forms of non-verbal
communication, Erickson was amazed to discover the frequent and often startling
contradictions between the verbal and non-verbal communications within a single
interchange.
This aroused so much of his interest that he intensified his observations at every
opportunity and began to develop the patterns he would later use in his hypnotic
techniques.
Erickson's continued study of human behaviour and his need to make his way in the
world and make a living for himself led him into the medical profession where he was an
avid student. Such was his fascination with psychiatry that he got a psychology degree
while he was still studying medicine.
Richard Bandler and John Grinder met with Erickson on a regular basis and engaged in
careful and systematic observation of Erickson's work in order to ascertain how he
performed his theraputic 'miracles'.
They discovered that whilst the behaviours demonstrated by Erickson in the induction
and utilisation of hypnotic states of consciousness were extremely complex, he was very
systematic i.e. his behaviour had distinctive patterns.
Bandler and Grinder then used their skills to build explicit models or maps of Erickson's
complex behaviours, maps which could in turn be used to teach Erickson's skills to
others in a clear and systematic way.
The model that Bandler and Grinder constructed from their studies of Erickson became
affectionately known as the Milton Model.
Hypnotic patterns
And even as you are sitting there, reading this, and thinking
those thoughts that you are thinking, you are doing the same things that you did when
first you went to school.
You are learning new things and that's a good thing. Things which will be useful in many
ways in the days and weeks ahead. And you don't even know how you learned those
things, the numbers and counting, and the letters of the alphabet. And those learnings,
so long ago now, stayed with you, deep in your unconscious, so that you can master
many more complex things without even thinking about it.
Let's examine now in some detail and name some of the hypnotic language patterns
found in the Milton Model.
Mind Read
A mind read is simply claiming to know the thoughts or feelings of another person
without specifying the process by which you came by the information.
As you just sit back.... and as you're thinking.... I know that you're wondering
In the above example, I know that you're wondering is a mind read, because that claim
is insubstantiated in that we don't specify how we know that the other person is
wondering.
Lost Performative
A lost performative is a value judgement where the performer of the value judgement is
left out.
You're wondering about certain things.... and that's a good thing.... because it is a good
thing to wonder
This statement makes the claim that the act of wondering is a good thing. The question
according to who? cannot be answered because the person or thing making the
statement (the performer) is not mentioned anywhere in the statement. Hence we are
left to wonder who thinks it's a good thing (and maybe even why it's a good thing and so
on....).
Cause and Effect
A cause and effect statement claims that one thing necessarily causes another:...sitting there, listening to the sound of my voice, will make you relax more and more...
This statement could also be written:...if you sit there and listen to the sound of my voice you will relax more and more...
Cause and effect statements often take the form of an If... Then... as in if you study
these materials, then you'll produce the results that you want.
And even though the cause and effect statement isn't necessarily true, it is likely to be
accepted by the person we are communicating with as long as it is plausible.
Implied Causative
The linkage between the elements in a cause and effect statement is strong, sharply
defined and as plain as the nose of your face - if condition X is true then outcome Y will
be true.
Cause and effect statements are best suited to deep trance where the likelihood of
resistance is less.
In light trance the implied causative may be more useful:And those insights and understandings will allow you to begin to.... change things in
your life
In this form the link between the cause (insights and understandings) and the effect (life
changes) is less pronounced and so less open to resistance.
Hypnotic patterns 2
And the very fact that you're studying the hypnotic language
patterns found in the Milton Model means that you're exactly the type of person who
appreciates the benefits and can learn with ease to enhance your skills and fluency in the
effective use of language
Complex equivalence
A complex equivalence is a statement where two meanings are equated as being equal
or, if you prefer, where one thing means another:And the very fact that you're wondering means that you can come to new insights and
new understandings about the materials that you're learning
Fact is that in isolation a person engaging in the act of wondering isn't necessarily going
to come to new insights and new understandings. It's entirely possible to wonder about
something for even a long period of time without experiencing even one new insight or
understanding.
The complex equivalence therefore isn't necessarily true, one thing doesn't necessarily
mean the other.
Lucky for us that the complex equivalence doesn't have to be true to be useful in
hypnosis.
So long as it sounds meaningful and plausible to the person we are communicating with
it's most likely that they will apply appropriate meaning to our words from their own
world model to make the complex equivalence 'true' for them.
As confusion always precedes understanding, most people who have had the experience
of coming to new insights and new understandings will previously have wondered about
the particular topic that they come to understand more about.
Thus, suggesting to a person that their wondering will lead to new insights and new
understandings is a meaningful, plausible suggestion that they are likely to accept easily.
Presuppositions
The presuppositions inherent in almost everything we say can be utilised to great effect
in hypnotic techniques. (We looked at presuppositions in some detail earlier so you can
see these pages if you wish a fuller explanation).
Now I don't know if your unconscious.... knows more or less than you think it does
The statement above includes many presuppositions which are vague, ambiguous and
hypnotic in nature such as:
And so on (see if you can identify other presuppositions contained in the statement that
aren't mentioned here).
As stated earlier, presuppositions are present in almost everything we say and are
mostly outside of our conscious awareness.
The very fact that presuppositions are usually outside of awareness means that once we
become aware of them we can use them actively and with volition to convey meaning to
another person, meaning which is outside of their conscious awareness and thus
bypasses conscious resistance.
To clarify, let's consider an experience that you yourself may have had. Many human
beings have experienced something like this and you are a human being, so it's fair to
suppose that you too will have had an experience like this, isn't it?
Have you ever, in the flow of conversation, agreed to do something for someone and
later thought to yourself 'hold on a minute, I can't believe I agreed to that' ?
Chances are that there were presuppositions inherent in what the other person said and
how they said them that, at the time, you were not consciously aware of i.e. your
attention was elsewhere.
Then later, when you review the situation and focus consciously on what occurred the
presuppositions become obvious.
So learning all about presuppositions means that you'll be less likely to end up doing
things for other people that you would really rather not do, or at least you'll be fully
aware of exactly what's involved before you agree.
Doesn't it?
Universal quantifier
You may discover that the best way to integrate these hypnotic
linguistic patterns into your neuro-physiology is to say them aloud each time you study
them, so that you can be delighted when you find yourself using them in your daily
interactions without even thinking about it.
Universal Quantifier
A universal quantifier is universal generalisation used to displace resistance.
Universal quantifiers always have an element of exaggeration.
...A person can achieve anything if they put their mind to it...
...Every time you study these materials you will find that you understand them at
deeper levels...
...Trust your instincts and you'll always make the right choices...
...You will never know, until you try...
All of the words above in bold text are universal quantifiers.
An example of how universal quantifiers might be used? Consider the following
statement:Every intelligent person knows that key to success and the rich rewards that it brings is
attention to detail.
Would you like to be considered an intelligent person? Would you like to be successful? Is
the idea of rich rewards appealing to you?
It's highly probable that you answered Yes to the three questions above. And because
every intelligent person 'knows' that attention to detail is the key to success and you
yourself are desirous of being 'successful' and in receipt of the 'rich rewards' you
probably accepted as true the idea that attention to detail is the key to success, without
a scrap of proof or even evidence to back up that claim.
I bet you even imagined exactly what those rich rewards would be, didn't you?
Successful how exactly? What kind of rich rewards specifically? Intelligent compared to
who or what? Who says that every intelligent person knows these things?
The answers to these questions and many more are not found anywhere in the original
statement and that's fine because in order to simply understand the sentence you kindly
supplied the answers yourself from your own model of the world which further adds to
the credibility of what I'm saying.
A person should never underestimate the power of universal quantifiers.
Hypnotic patterns 4
You may find that you need to practice daily these hypnotic
patterns if you want them to become a part of your every-day vocabulary, and then
you'll begin to notice the benefits that come from integrating those learnings.
Modal Operators
Modal operators are words which imply possibility or necessity, and they are also used to
form our rules in life:You can achieve great things each and every day...
You must focus your attention on the right things at the right times....
A person will always make new and exciting learnings if they want to...
Nominalisation
A nominalisation is a process word that has been frozen in time by turning into a noun,
such as the word RELATIONSHIP.
A RELATIONSHIP is a word that we use to encapsulate the meaning of an ongoing
process of one person or thing RELATING to another person or thing over time. We
freeze that complex, ongoing process of RELATING into a single instance of time and call
it a RELATIONSHIP.
Hypnotic patterns 5
You may find that you need to practice daily these hypnotic
patterns if you want them to become a part of your every-day vocabulary, and then
you'll begin to notice to benefits that come from integrating those learnings.
Unspecified verbs
In most languages the verb is the part of language that expresses action, ocurrence or
existence, as in the English words eat, collide and think.
In the phrase 'he touched her' the verb, touched, is relatively unspecified - touched her
how? where? with what?
If instead we said 'he touched her gently' the verb, touched, is more specified than in
the previous statement and only two of the earlier questions remain unanswered - where
and with what?
If we said 'he touched her gently on the hand with his wet nose' the verb is still further
specified and we can represent more fully what the verb means.
Unspecified verbs are used in hypnotic language as they present fewer opportunities for
resistance.
The person receiving the communication makes sense of the communication by
providing meaning to the verbs from their own model of the world and thus is presented
with a context in which the natural response is to accept the communication.
Unspecified verbs commonly used in hypnotic language include:Think, wonder, sense, feel, know, experience, understand, remember, enjoy, learn,
travel, recall, discover, do, be, put, go, move, touch, have, use, forget, change and
renew.
Tag questions
A tag question is a question placed directly after a statement and is designed to displace
resistance and can also be used to check the level of rapport.
So the format for using a tag question is usually statement, question as in:And you can understand that, right?
That's a tag question, isn't it?
Tag questions are great, aren't they?
The intended outcome of using the tag question is that the person responds in the way
that we want them to.The aim of the above tag questions is a positive response i.e the
person agreeing that they can understand either verbally or non-verbally such as with a
nod of the head.
The person responding readily in the desired way can be an indicator that a good level of
rapport is being maintained.
All of the above tag questions were in the positive, and it's just as easy to utilise tag
questions which include negatives as in:And you don't even know how you learned those things, do you?
Tag questions are probably the easiest hypnotic language pattern to learn, are they not?
And they are a really useful way of getting people to agree with you, aren't they?
So you can have fun using tag questions in your day-to-day communication, can you
not?
Hypnotic patterns 6
To explain, let's dissect paragraph 2:In the days and weeks ahead you will learn a number of new things
The referential indices of specific times and specific learning outcomes present in
paragraph 1 are not present in paragraph 2. The phrase days and weeks ahead sounds
specific but it's actually completely open-ended and imposes no deadline by which
learning must be achieved.
...you will learn a number of new things...
Another statement which is difficult to disagree with as unless you lose the cognitive
power of thought, the sheer volume of data flowing into your sensory systems every
moment that you're alive forces you to learn new things from moment to moment. How
many new things will you learn? A number of them, so any number will make this
statement true. What new things will you learn? Anything that you learn will make this
statement true. Thus the absence of the referential indices on the type and number of
learnings to be made again creates a context where acceptance is easy and failure is
almost impossible.
...without even realising you're doing it...
Wondering how you're going to make those new learnings? Good! The lack of referential
index on doing it creates a context in which doing anything that leads to a learning will
fit with the statement given. And if you don't even realise how/what/why/when you're
learning that's fine too - many useful learnings are made below the level of
consciousness anyway. It's also probable that by beginning to think about what you
might learn you will focus the flashlight of your attention on finding opportunities for
learning those very things i.e. we get what we look for.
...and those learnings can lead you the direction of making useful changes...
The lack of referential index on those learnings and useful changes allows the listener to
identify which learnings and which changes are most appropriate and applicable.
...support the direction that you're moving in your life now...
Which direction are you moving in your life now? It doesn't matter - the lack of
referential index on the direction means that whatever direction you happen to be
moving in will fit the statement.
Hypnotic patterns 7
Thus the context created is one in which your natural response is agreement.
In sales this is known as a YES SET and is used to lead the prospective customer into a
pattern of agreement i.e. into a pattern of saying or at least thinking YES and to
encourage momentum in that direction.
Thinking metaphorically, if we consider the person we are communicating with (or at
least their thought processes) to be a steam train then each pacing statement that they
agree with is equivalent to an increase in the steam pressure propelling them along the
track in the direction of our intended destination.
Once sufficient momentum is built up using undeniable, externally verifiable pacing
statements and the person is engaged in a pattern of agreement, a plausible leading
statement can be offered and again a context is provided in which the natural response
is agreement.
...and you are here today, reading these words and thinking those thought's that you're
thinking
...and you're learning many new things that will be useful to you in the days and weeks
ahead.
Even though the leading statement isn't necessarily true i.e. you could be learning stuff
which isn't useful or you could be learning nothing at all, the pacing statements set you
moving along the 'train track' of agreement and increase the likelihood that you'll agree
with the leading statement too.
Hypnotic patterns 8
Double bind
A double bind is a statement which creates the illusion of choice where in fact there is no
choice.
Would you like to finish reading this text now or later?
(It doesn't matter because you're going to finish reading it at some point).
Would you like to go to bed at quarter to nine or eight forty five?
(Good fun to use if you have kids)
Would you like to pay by cash or credit card?
(It doesn't matter to me so long as you BUY ONE)
Would you like to go quickly into trance today? Or perhaps you'd like to go into trance
slowly, or perhaps you'll simply enjoy noticing the increasing sense of pleasant
relaxation as you become settled in that chair.
(Technically this is a triple bind as the listener is presented with three choices, all of
which lead the listener in the direction of the desired state).
Double binds can be used to enrich a person's world model by providing them with an
experience which contradicts impoverishing limitations inherent in their current model.
This experience then becomes a reference structure which enriches the model and
increases choice.
The Structure of Magic I, A Book About Language & Therapy by Richard Bandler & John
Grinder, includes a tale of one such theraputic use of the double bind.
The tale concerns a young woman who, through Meta model question techniques, had
arrived at a generalisation that was true in her model of the world, namely "I can't say
NO to anyone because I can't hurt anyone's feelings."
Further investigation revealed that the young woman believed that anyone she said "NO"
to would be badly hurt and might even die.
This generalisation had arisen from an event in her past when she had refused her
father's request to stay at home with him and subsequently returned home later that
evening to find him dead. As a result of this the young woman had blamed herself for
her father's death and more specifically attributed that blame to the act of saying "NO"
to him.
The therapist utilised a theraputic double bind by asking the young woman to speak to
each of the other members of the group and say "NO" to them about something.
The young woman reacted strongly, refusing to perform the task and made statements
such as "NO! It's impossible for me to say NO to people, you can't expect me to do it
just because you ask me to".
The young woman continued in this way for several minutes, refusing repeatedly to carry
out the task until the therapist pointed out that the young woman had in fact been
saying NO during this time.
The therapist also pointed out that despite the young woman saying NO a number of
times, nobody had been hurt and certainly nobody had died.
This revelation and the resultant expansion of the young woman's world model were so
powerful that she immediately found herself able to move around the room and say NO
to other members of the group.
The double bind was constructed in such a way that the young woman had only two
options:1. Comply with the therapist's request and say NO to
the group members
2. Refuse the therapist's request to say NO to the
group members, effectively saying NO to the
therapist
Even if the young woman had done nothing, she would still effectively have been
refusing to comply with the therapist's request - effectively saying NO.
Now that is probably one of the best illustrations of the elegant and effective use of the
double bind as you are likely to find.
Hypnotic patterns 9
Native speakers of English will usually respond to these types of questions by performing
the embedded command i.e. closing the door or finding the T.V. remote or answering the
telephone or the doorbell.
Authoritarian forms of hypnosis where the listener is given direct commands present a
context in which resistance is more likely. The very fact that the listener resists the
command is also likely to lead them to belive that the hypnosis isn't 'working'.
Conversational postulates on the other hand form part of a more naturally flowing
process as no direct commands are given to the listener - they are merely asked
questions to which they can choose to respond or not.
Can you imagine yourself using this pattern to gently influence others to willingly do the
things that you ask?
Precise communication
Introduction
a common native language, such as English. We'll then examine ways in which we can
improve the precision of our communication with others.
First let's consider some of the factors which can make precise linguistic communication
difficult to achieve:How many words in the English language?
Despite my best efforts I've failed to find a definitive answer to this question but the
general concensus seems to be that there are, at the very least, a quarter of a million
distinct words in the English language. The Oxford English Dictionary 2nd Edition (OED2)
is cited in this Wikipedia article as including 600,000 word definitions. If distinct word
senses are counted i.e. fast meaning speedy and fast meaning abstinence from food, the
number would be closer to three-quarters of a million.
The map is not the territory
If you've studied the section entitled The map is not the territory you'll already
appreciate the premise that we humans necessarily do not act directly on the world.
Rather we build internal mental maps of reality which we use to guide our behaviour.
The information we store in our individual maps of reality is unique to each of us, having
been subjected to the modelling processes of deletion, distortion and generalisation.
Equally, the language which we use to describe to ourselves and communicate to others
the information held in our unique model is subject to deletion, distortion and
generalisation.
It is also important to note that the words we use have no meaning in and of
themselves. Words are simply arrangements of symbols (26 of them in the English
alphabet) arranged in recognisable groups to provide symbolic labels (words) which we
humans apply to the infinite unique experiences which our world has to offer each of us.
Even though we share a common language therefore, because we each apply meaning to
the words we use from our own unique, internal models of the world, the meaning of a
particular word for one person can vary quite significantly from the meaning of that
same word for another person.
Linguistic shorthand
Without even being aware of it when most people communicate linguistically with each
other (or speak to each other if you prefer) they do so in what I've decided to label
'linguistic shorthand'.
Bandler and Grinder's first book on the subject - The Structure of Magic I, explains this
in a far more elegant and detailed way than I can here, but I'll give you my description
as a starting point.
To make this description easier to write, and hopefully in turn easier to follow, I'm going
to ask you to forget that rather than describing something real, I'm describing a model
which, if it were a true reflection of the actual mental processes involved, would produce
the same observable results.
Linguistic transformation
You, as the receiver of my communication and without the benefit of my world map, now
have the task of understanding that communication using your own unique map of the
world. This requires the reversal of the process so far i.e. that you, at the unconscious
level:1. Take my Surface Structure and apply some meaning
to the individual words from your model of the
world
2. Identify the most likely Deep Structure on which my
Surface Structure is based so that you have the
framework of a possible full linguistic representation
of my communication
3. Apply meaning to the overall Deep Structure from
your model of the world
At this stage you, as a native speaker of English, will be intuitively aware as to whether
or not the Surface Structure I've chosen* to use is complete enough to allow you to fully
understand my communication. If my Surface Structure is not complete enough you will
also have in your intuition which parts of the Deep Structure have been deleted,
distorted or generalised.
(* I use the word chosen here loosely as with spoken communication the process of
word selection is itself largely an unconscious process. If you've ever had to bring this
process into conscious awareness i.e. actively / carefully think about the particular words
you're going to use you will probably have noticed how much more slowly you had to
speak / write.)
Should you then wish to understand my communication more fully your intuitions will
facilitate you in forming responses, usually in the form of a questions in order to recover
the deleted information.
In summary then, after a brief pause for breath...
When we communicate with each other using natural language we usually do so in a
'short-hand' form for efficiency. This in turn often requires that we ask pertinent
questions in order to fully understand what the other person is communicating to us.
The question is, what types of questions are the best types of questions to ask to gain
clarity, specificity and understanding of another person's communication? The answer is,
of course, meta model questions which you'll find on the next few pages.
(If you would like to know more about the process of derivation from Deep Structure to
Surface Structure there's further explanation on this page in the hypnotic language
section. I would also recommend that you get your hands on a copy of The Structure of
Magic I)
In summary, the Metal Model response to a mind read is:'How specifically do you know X?', where X is the deleted information that we wish to
recover.
Lost performative
In the absence of regular review and maintenance a person's model of the world can,
over time, become outdated and impoverished through the processes of deletion,
distortion and generalisation.
Meta Model questions can encourage a person to update and even expand and enrich
their world model by reconnecting it with and reviewing it against the original Reference
Structure of shared experience.
In this way a person can often come to new insights and new understandings which were
not available to them previously based on their impoverished world model.
A Lost Performative is an example of a distortion which makes reference to an act of
speech where the performer of the act is left out, as in:
What these examples share in common is that they are all value judgements and no
mention is made as to who or what is making those judgments.
In order to make a useful evaluation as to the validity of these value judgments we need
to recover their source. We can do this using the Meta Model question:'According to who?' or 'Who says X?', where X represents the original statement i.e. the
appropriate Meta Model response to the second example above would be:'Everyone deserves a second chance according to who?', or 'Who says everyone
deserves a second chance?'.
In order to answer these questions and identify 'who says', the person we're
communicating with has to find examples in their world model. If no examples exist in
the person's world model they have the option of enriching their model by reconnecting
with the world of experience and their original Reference Structure i.e. the world itself.
If the person can identify from the world of experience examples of 'who says', that
person's world model can be enriched by the inclusion of these examples.
On the other hand, if examples cannot be found the world model can still be enriched by
the removal of inaccurate or unfounded data.
A third way in which the world model can be enriched is by the inclusion of differing
examples, some of which prove the value judgment to be true and some of which prove
it to be false. This particlar type of enrichment is especially useful for a person who's
choices are being limited by very strongly held beliefs which are not necessarily
completely 'true' or completely 'false'.
The next Meta Model pattern, the Cause and Effect pattern, challenges these beliefs
directly by causing the speaker to examine in more detail the relationship between the
internal representation they observe i.e. their emotional state and the external stimulus
which they believe to be the direct cause of that state.
If youve ever said something like:
then your world model has been to some degree impoverished by the belief that your
emotional state is directly caused by external forces.
A great question from Richard Bandler's book Using Your Brain For A Change that fits this
subject matter neatly is 'Who's driving the bus?'.
Bandler goes on to say, 'Most people are prisoners of their own brains. It's as if they are
chained to the last seat of the bus and someone else is driving. I want you to learn to
drive your own bus'.
One need only refer to the NLP Communication Model to remember that while it may be
a response to stimuli both internal and external, our state is internally generated and
therefore internally controlled.
There is no mechanism by which external triggers can directly cause us to feel one way
or another. As the Presuppositions of NLP state we control our own mind and therefore
our results.
When we hear a Cause and Effect statement from another person, or even in our own
internal dialogue we can challenge it directly. Appropriate responses to the examples
above include:
Each of these responses acknowledges the speakers internal state and at the same time
points out that they are in control of all the input channels and output channels that give
rise to that state.
A person who has learned to recognise that they are in control of their own emotional
state has greater flexibility and more options available to them from which to choose
how to respond more usefully.
Or as Bandler might say - once you remember that it's you driving your bus, the choice
of destination is yours and yours alone.
(This recognition, increased flexibility and control is also the subject of the concept of
Emotional Intelligence or EI.)
Complex equivalence
Have you ever been late for a meeting with a person you respected?
Have you ever been on time and not respected the person?
When you're interested in someone do you always write to them immediately?
Would a hastily scribbled note convince you that they were really interested in you?
In other words, when presented with a Complex Equivalence form such as x = y or x
means y we can respond in the following forms:
You've reached the end of this page now. You should understand complex equivalence.
Presuppositions
Let's begin by exposing just a few of the possible presuppositions inherent in the above
example:
John didn't realise:a. How much the speaker's feelings were hurt
b. The hurt feelings were the result of the
things which John said
All of the above presuppositions could be true, but which of them are true?
The Meta Model response to this question might be 'true for whom?', or ' true in who's
model of the world?', the speaker's model? John's model?
Answering such questions is precisely what the Meta Model was designed for.
Meta Model questions appropriate for challenging the presuppositions in the above
example could include:
Universal quantifiers
This complete lack of specificity is exactly what tells us that this person is operating from
an impoverished world model, which leads this person to make these universal and
usually inaccurate generalisations about the world.
This complete lack of specificity is also precisely what the Meta Model responses will
challenge in order to cause this person to re-examine their world model more closely.
Two ways in which the universal quantifier / lack of referential index can be challenged
are directly and indirectly.
One indirect form of challenge is simply to turn the universal quantifier that the person
has used back around on them in the form of a question, using your voice to emphasise
the universal quantifier:1. NOBODY likes you? Absolutely NOBODY?
2. EVERBODY hates you? You can't think of ONE
PERSON who likes you?
A direct form of Meta Model challenge for a universal quantifier is to ask directly for the
missing referential index as in:1. Who specifically doesn't like you? Can you think
of one person who likes you?
2. Who specifically hates you? Hate is such a strong
word, maybe there are people out there who only
dislike you?
Every universal quantifier includes an element of exaggeration and every universal
quantifier can be usefully challenged with appropriate Meta Model responses.
One set of these Modal Operators is the set known as Modal Operators of Necessity,
examples of which include words such as:
Should / Shouldn't
Need to / Needn't
Modal Operators of Necessity are generalisations which tend to imply strict rules and a
lack of choice for the speaker / writer. They also tend to be digital in nature i.e. either
one thing or the other, on or off, black or white.
We can directly challenge Modal Operators of Necessity using Meta Model responses and
so assist the speaker in gaining access to choices which previously they were unaware of
or thought were unavailable to them.
Surface Structures which include Modal Operators of Necessity frequently take the form:1. I need to do my homework
2. I must join the family business
3. I have to go to work
4. I really shouldn't be doing this
The Deep Structures for each of the above Surface Structures has been subjected to a
significant deletion. Each Surface Structure makes the claim that something MUST
happen (or not happen in the case of number 4).
As native speakers of English the question that arises in response to these surface
structures, aimed at recovering the deleted material is 'Or what?'.
Expanding upon this simple question a little leads us to a general form of Meta Model
response question which can be used to challenge Modal Operators of Necessity:What would happen if you didn't (or did) X?
Where X is the subject of the original surface structure i.e.:1. What would happen if you didn't do your
homework?
2. What would happen if you didn't join the family
business?
3. What would happen if you didn't go to work?
Possible / Impossible
Can / Cannot
Words like cannot and impossible often indicate that the person using them has beliefs
about the world which limit their behaviour or prevent them from accessing certain
choices in their lives.
Phrases which include Modal Operators of Possibility often take the form:
I have no choice
We can use Meta Model responses to challenge the limiting generalisations implied by the
Modal Operators of Possibility to change cannot into can, change impossible into possible
and so on.
Two Meta Model questions of appropriate form for this type of challenge are:1. What specifically stops you from X?
2. What would happen if you did X?
Where X is the subject of the original surface structure i.e.:
Forced to actually consider 'what would happen if...' or to identify specific obstacles
which they believe prevent them from having choice, a person can make a number of
discoveries including:1. Their generalisation doesn't hold true and that there
is nothing stopping them from making this choice
2. Their generalisation does hold true but they can
make necessary changes which will allow them to
have this choice anyway
3. They are able to identify alternative choices which
would facilitate them in achieving their outcome or
an alternative satisfactory outcome
Nominalisations
In other ways our use of nominalisation severely limits our ability to communicate the
richness of our experience to other human beings by deleting useful information.
To explain more fully lets examine the word relationship for a moment and consider
more fully what the underlying Deep Structure meaning of that word might be. Firstly
well de-nominalise relationship and turn it back into the process of two people relating
to each other. Think of a person in your life who youve known and been relating to for
a number of years i.e. a family member or a close friend.
Now, take a few moments to fully consider the sheer volume and diversity of experiences
that you and this other person have shared with each other in the course of that process
of relating to each other over those years and all the elements of those shared
experiences such as:-
Another interesting effect of nominalisation is that people are removed from the
processes and instead are replaced with things to which responsibility can be assigned.
We can rid ourselves of any responsibility by blaming the process. If we re-assign
responsibility to the people involved in the processes the above examples could be
written:
Meta Model responses can be used to assist people in reconnecting the nominalisations
present in their Surface Structures with the ongoing processes both in the present and
over the course of their experience to date.
Examples of Meta Model responses appropriate for challenging a nominalisation and
turning it back into a process (denominalisation) include:
In summary it is people, not processes, that are responsible for outcomes and people
can change their behaviours and modify the processes until they get the outcomes they
desire.
Unspecified verbs
recipient of that communication do not have access to that Reference Structure - for us
all of that data has effectively been deleted.
Consider the following phrase:'They punished me'.
This Surface Structure is derived from a fuller linguistic representation known as the
Deep Structure. The Deep Structure, in turn, is derived from the Reference Structure of
the speaker i.e. the speaker's World Model.
In order to appreciate more fully what the speaker means by 'They punished me' we
could apply meaning to the words from our own world model. We could think about
experiences we've had to which the label 'punished' could be applied and imagine that
this is what the speaker means. We could think about experiences that other people
have had that we've heard or read about which could fit the description of 'punished'.
Both of these methods are flawed insomuch as they amount to mind reading - claiming
to know the thoughts of another person.
The underlying Deep Structure of the above Surface Structure could be written as:PAST(PUNISH [someone, me, in some way])
Any native speaker of the English language understands from the Surface Structure
that:a. Some event occurred in the past
b. The event was a complex event
c. It consisted of the following parts:1. An action, punished, which occurred between:
1. The agent - some person or thing doing the
punishing, here represented by they, and
2. The object - some person or thing being
punished, here represented by me, and
3. The instrument - the method used to do the
punishing, here represented by in some way
Notice that even though not all parts of the Deep Structure represented appear in the
Surface Structure (in this case the instrument is not represented in the Surface
Structure), the native speaker of English has that information available in their
understanding of the sentence.
Meta Model questions/responses can be used effectively to recover the information
deleted from the Deep Structure.
In this particular case an appropriate question would be:-
Deletions
The final three Meta Model patterns that we're going to examine
here all relate to the modelling process of Deletion.
More specifically these particular Meta Model questions are those which we can use when
we're communicating with a person and we realise that in the process of this person
turning their internal experience into the words that they use to communicate with us
externally, information which could be useful for the purposes of understanding their
communication has been deleted.
Simple Deletions
The clue is in the name and examples of simple deletion include nouns, objects and real
names:1. He hurt me
2. The cup was broken
3. I'm scared
Meta Model responses to recover the deleted information:1. Who specifically hurt you?
2. Which cup specifically was broken?
3. You're scared about what / by what/whom?
Comparative Deletions
A Comparative Deletion is a phrase in which a comparison is made but the thing, person
or standard to which the comparison is made is not mentioned:1. It's more or less the right thing to do
2. It's better to do it that way
3. You will enjoy things more and more
4. She's the best!
Meta Model responses to recover the deleted information:1. More or less the right thing compared to what?
2. Better than what?
3. Enjoy things more and more than what?
4. Best compared to whom?
Lack of Referential Index
Put simply, a Lack of Referential Index fails to specify a person or thing:1. They don't listen to me
2. People don't understand
3. Feelings get in the way
4. Some time
Meta Model responses to recover the deleted information:1. Who specifically doesn't listen to you?
2. Which people specifically don't understand?
3. Which feelings specifically get in the way?
or
4. Who's feelings specifically get in the way?
4. When specifically?
Once you've recovered the deleted information you have access to more of the
information contained in the speaker's reference model - their model of the world.
If the responses you receive to your Meta Model questions require further clarification
simply identify the specific clarification that you require and use the Meta Model to go
after it.
Simple, logical and powerful!
Anchoring
Introduction
Over the next few pages we'll look in a little more detail at where the concept of
Anchoring comes from, why it produces the results it does and finally we'll break down
the process into individual steps so that you can learn to use it for yourself.
Foundations of anchoring
Negative anchors tend to induce less useful emotional states like anger, frustration, fear,
procrastination and apathy.
Positive anchors tend to induce positive and useful emotional states such as happiness,
excitement, enthusiasm, focus, the feeling of power and energy and resourcefulness.
Even writing this page had an effect on my emotional state which is why, in this second
draft, the negative is followed and thus eclipsed by the positive.
Over the next few pages we're going to learn exactly how we can drain the power from
those negative anchors and also how to set powerful positive anchors which will assist us
in connecting with useful and resourceful states any time we choose.
Steps of anchoring
As soon as the anchor is set the next step is to release the anchor and change state. If
you're doing anchoring with another person a simple way to get them to break state is to
ask them a total non-sequitur such as 'Do you smell popcorn?' or 'Are those your
shoes?'.
If you're setting an anchor for yourself you could ask yourself a question like 'When I got
out of bed this morning, which foot did I put on the floor first?' or 'What will I have for
breakfast tomorrow?'.
It's important, once the anchor is set, to release the anchor and change state so that the
link between the stimulus and the resource state is as clean as possible.
E - Evoke
The final step is to test the anchor by evoking it i.e. trigger the chosen unique stimulus
(squeeze thumb and finger together or whatever stimulus you've chosen for yourself)
and check that your response is to experience the desired resource state.
If it doesn't work first time simply repeat the process - Recall, Anchor, Change, Evoke,
until it does work. The more times you repeat the process (known as stacking the
anchor) the better the results.
Keys to anchoring
The best types of states to anchor are naturally occurring states, as you're able to
anchor the state right when it's happening.
The next best types of states to anchor are recalled or remembered states where a vivid
memory acts as the reference structure.
If a person's experience does not include either a naturally occurring or recalled state i.e.
they cannot remember a time where they had the experience of being deliriously happy
or of intense relaxation then a constructed state can serve as a reference structure. A
person can be assisted in constructing such a state by asking them to:
Strategies
Introduction
Gather ingredients
Apply decoration
If you missed any of the steps or changed the order of the steps you wouldnt get the
desired outcome of the cake, right?
And even though you might not realise it people have recipes or strategies for every type
of behaviour including:
Delight
Depression
Shyness
Evaluation
Motivation
Procrastination
Decision making
Wealth
Poverty
Love
Strategies can be simple or can be quite detailed and complex and yet, amazingly,
people carry out these sequences repeatedly and perfectly without any significant
awareness that the process is even taking place.
In NLP the label given to these unconscious, automatic and consistent sequences of
behaviours is Strategies. More commonly people describe this phenomenon using a
different word habits, and divide their habits into two main categories good habits
and bad habits.
When people talk about good habits they are usually referring to habits which result in a
positive or useful outcome for them. Conversely, bad habits are generally considered
those which yield negative or undesirable outcomes.
People often feel good about their good habits, actively perpetuate them and take credit
for them and the outcomes that arise from them and thus place themselves at the
empowering cause side of the cause / effect equation.
People are often less willing to take responsibility for their bad habits and instead they
objectify the habit so that they can identify it as the cause of the negative or undesirable
results that they themselves are producing. This behaviour is disempowering as the
person is left at the effect side of the equation, where their outcomes are the effect of
outside causes over which they believe they have no control.
Richard Bandler might ask Whos driving the bus? and the answer is You are!
The presuppositions of NLP tell us that we are in charge of our own mind and hence our
own results, so we each need to recognise that we are driving our own bus.
Once we accept responsibility for our own results we move ourselves from the effect side
of the equation to the cause side of the equation and we are empowered to make useful
changes to our behaviours. The ways in which we can modify our strategies to enhance
the results that we produce is limited only by the imagination.
Early strategies
Most strategies operate below the level of awareness and people perform what can
sometimes be quite complex sequences of behaviour without any conscious recognition
that they are doing so.
To begin to understand why this is so let's consider some of the strategies which you
yourself employ just to understand the words on this page.
When you were a baby you didn't even know what words were, let alone how to speak or
read them. Your main method of communication was your in-built ability to cry in order
to let the world know when you were unhappy with something.
Air from your lungs passed over vocal chords resulting in a noise designed by nature to
elicit the immediate attention of your care givers.
In many ways that first strategy - cry until attention is received / needs are met was the
seed of subsequent strategies for communication.
Gradually you became more aware of your surroundings and of other people. You began
to listen to the sounds other people made and to pay close attention to the shapes and
movements of their mouths as they made these sounds. You began to practise making
other sounds with your own mouth, developing strategies for using particular
configurations of lips, teeth and tongue to make particular sounds. You learned how you
could vary your breathing and change other aspects of the sounds you were making such
as the loudness, speed and pitch.
You began to understand that particular groups of sounds put together in particular
combinations were associated with things around you, and developed strategies for
putting the sounds together in the correct sequences (words) and associating them with
the correct objects, and for retrieving from memory and vocalising those words when
presented with the connected object at some later time.
You came to recognise that other people (usually bigger than you) would present an
object to you and repeat the word associated with the object and you could then use all
the strategies you'd developed so far to speak that word, remember it and to remember
the object that was linked to that word. Gradually over time you learned to do these
things with greater speed and precision, building up your vocabulary all the time. By age
18-24 months you probably had around two hundred words in your vocabulary.
You spent two years of your life developing some of the strategies required to
communicate verbally and linguistically with another human being. Now, take a few quiet
moments to consider the following question.
Cast your mind back to the last conversation you had with another human being. As you
go back to that time now step into your body, see what you saw at the time, hear the
sounds around you and feel the feelings of being right there having that conversation.
Notice the expressions on the face of the person you're having that conversation with.
Here's the question - while you are having that conversation now, how much conscious
awareness do you have of using the strategies you spent two years learning?
The likelihood is that in the normal flow of conversation, even though you're still running
the strategies described above, you have no conscious awareness of them whatsoever.
Those strategies have become so integrated into your neurology that they've dropped
below the level of awareness and you execute them with the unconscious competence
referred to in the four stages of competence.
If you're not convinced, next time you have a conversation with another person try to
think consciously about how you're going to use your lips, teeth, tongue, breathing etc.
to make each of the individual sounds required to speak the words you're going to use to
respond to that person.
Can you do that, and maintain the conversation at a regular speed and keep abreast of
what the conversation is about? Probably not as it's been shown that the maximum
number of chunks of information that a human being can pay attention to consciously at
any one time is seven, plus or minus 2. Which is why it's a good thing that the human
brain is capable of processing a whole bunch of stuff, like running our behavioural
strategies at the unconscious level.
By the time they reach two years of age the average human
being has mastered the strategies required to communicate using spoken language.
At around the same stage of our development we are introduced to a collection of twenty
six symbols built up from collections of lines both straight and curved.
When a person draws our attention to one of these symbols they usually also make a
particular sound with their mouth. We make use of the listening and speaking strategies
we've already learned to associate the sounds with the corresponding symbols and to
speak the sounds ourselves, until the symbols and sounds become anchors for each
other - thinking about the symbol makes us think of the associated sound, and viceversa.
We go on to learn that these symbols and their associated sounds form the building
blocks of the strings of sounds (words) we've already learned to speak - A is for Apple, B
is for Ball, C is for Cat...
With strategies in place for recognising letter shapes and their associated sounds
(phonemes) and that some phonemes consist of multiple characters (i.e. ch, sh, ph) we
go on to develop strategies for decoding strings of characters (words) into their
corresponding auditory representations (sounds). At first we read out loud so that those
who are teaching us can assist us as fully as they are able. As our reading strategies and
skills mature we find that we need not vocalise the words as we read unless we are
reading to other people.
And I'm very glad that you learned all of those strategies because now you are able, to
read all the words on this page, and every other page on this website and to learn, really
learn and integrate now all of this knowledge in ways that will assist you usefully in the
days and weeks ahead.
Strategy techniques
Imagine you could replicate the creative strategies of Walt Disney, or the wealth building
strategies of Bill Gates or Warren Buffet or the genius strategies of Albert Einstein.
These things are humanly possible using the methods described briefly above and in
more detail on the following pages. To learn, all you have to do is read on!
Strategy chunking
As we come at this from the opposite perspective things will become clearer.
If a strategy that you've elicited fails to produce the expected outcome when you run it,
and that strategy has fewer than four steps, it's entirely possible that you chunked too
big and thus missed details or steps vital to the effective operation of that strategy.
Using the example above let's say that you'd asked this person the very important
question - 'How do you do that?' and that their response was something like:
I say it
Given these three pieces of information could you successfully utilise this person's
strategy to replicate the same results that they produce? You could try. You could be
very lucky and produce the same results which would suggest that the chunk size (3
chunks) in this instance was just right.
On the other hand the results that you get could differ greatly from what you expected
which would suggest that the chunk size is too large and more detail (in smaller chunks)
is needed. In cases such as these Meta Model questions are a great tool for recovering
the required level of detailed information.
Finally, step 4 is the means by which the person is subsequently reassured that they
made a good purchase (or from another viewpoint, avoids 'buyer's remorse').
At this level of abstraction these four chunks provide labels for the steps typically
included in the buying process, but reveal very little detail about the underlying
processes involved.
More detailed information is available by 'chunking down' one level to reveal that the
four chunks which constitute the 'Buying Strategy' are themselves composed of a
number of chunks in the form of distinct, sequential steps. At this lower level the original
four chunks, Motivation, Decision Making, Convincer and Reassurance, can be treated as
individual strategies in their own right. These four lower level strategies are nested inside
the higher level Buying Strategy.
The results obtained from the elicitation of a person's Buying Strategy are therefore
likely to be more useful if chunked at the lower level of their strategies for motivation,
decision making, convincer and reassurance.
Reaching certain parties sometimes requires that the number dialled be prefixed with
another sequence of digits in the form of an area code. Strategies are the same - every
step in the strategy and the eventual outcome is dependent on the steps that have come
before.
People sometimes get stuck in strategies similar to that of a person who keeps punching
the last four digits of a seven digit number and then wonders why they end up with only
a dial tone.
Others waste time and effort by needlessly over preparing, like the person who uses the
area code when calling people in his own locality.
People may also forget about important or appropriate strategies, or about the correct
representational sequences which make them up, in much the same way as one may
forget a telephone number or mix it up with numbers that they use more frequently.
People are more likely to achieve their desired outcomes when the strategies they use
are appropriate for the context they are operating in at the time.
Applying a habitual or highly valued strategy in an inappropriate context would be like
moving from the UK to Australia and then ordering pizza from your favourite UK pizza
parlour because that's the only telephone number you know.
Strategy notation
This is a representation of a visual spelling strategy for a person called Pete. To explain
what's going on let me break this down into individual steps and walk you through the
entire process.
At each step I'll explain what's going on and then show the form of written notation for
that step. Here goes:-
The steps of the strategy are linked together by arrows showing the direction of the
process flow. Braces are used to group representations which occur simultanously.
3. Pete recalls a picture of the word (Visual
remembered or recalled) and can therefore see how
it is spelled, which gives us:-
If Pete were to vocalise the Kinesthetic internal feelings that he has at this stage about
the Visually recalled image he might say 'It looks right to me' or 'It just doesn't look
right'. If he thinks that it doesn't look right this happens:-
As long as Pete's Visually recalled image looks wrong to him his associated feeling(s) are
negative (signified by the minus sign adjacent to the arrow) and he loops back to step
two of his strategy and continues the process from there until:-
6.
7.
Strategy elicitation
Strategy submodalities
For many strategies a surface level strategy elicitation such as this will be perfectly
adequate, but circumstances also often arise which necessitate chunking down to a finer
level of detail in the elicitation process. Typical examples might include:
Strategy utilisation
The things that you say and the way that you say them literally fits the way the other
person thinks.
To clarify lets look how we might utilise a typical decision making strategy in a sales
context. For our purposes here we'll assign this strategy to a person called John.
Let's break John's decision making strategy down and examine it step-by-step.
1. John sees something thay he may wish to buy. This
is the external trigger for and very first step of his
strategy This step is a Visual external, which is
written in notation form as:-
What happens though if John decides not to buy this item, and there are more items
available that he can choose from?
If John's feelings are neither positive nor negative but rest somewhere in the middle his
strategy loops back to the start - he starts looking at the next available item - and the
strategy repeats until he either decides to buy an item or runs out of items to choose
from.
As a keen sales person with knowledge of John's decision making strategy, we could
increase the effectiveness and appeal of our communication with him by saying
something like:I see that you're looking for a new X. Let me show you some X's and, once we've run
through the features of each one I'm sure we'll find the one that you're going to
absolutely love.
Tailoring our communication to be maximally congruent with a person's strategies can
enhance the effectiveness of that communication and increase the appeal that it has for
the person we communicate with.
Logical levels
If we dial the same number every time we use the telephone we will always get the
same outcome - we'll always be connected to the one place associated with that number.
Taking responsibility for dialling, realising now that we can choose to dial new numbers,
numbers which are more useful in making new connections, in reaching our desired
goals will lead us there more quickly.
The first step then in the Logical Levels of Therapy is to assist a person to realise that
they are ' dialling the numbers ' on the ' strategic telephone ' that leads them to their
outcomes.
A person who has a problem with a strategy and feels that they are at the effect side of
the cause/effect equation might say something like:' X always happens to me - I just don't know why '
Whatever X happens to be for this person, we can verify that it is a strategy by asking:
Questions like these presuppose that X is something this person does rather than
something which happens to them . It's one of the reframes used to assist the person in
realising that their own actions dictate their outcomes.
Having identified X as a strategy the next step is to begin to elicit that strategy
completely by asking the person to explain each step in the process in some detail.
As individual strategies are run in a matter of seconds this elicitation step can take some
time and a number of repetitions to complete fully, particularly as this will probably be
the very first time this person has analysed this experience in any detail or even been
aware of the sequence of internal and external representations that they go through in
order to produce the outcomes that they have been producing.
In order to fully recover all the steps in detail the person needs to fully associate into the
experience, see what they saw at the time, hear what they heard, feel what they felt
etc., and a detailed analysis with a little repetition will help to facilitate this.
Refer to the section on strategy elicitation for a detailed explanation of the process and
remember to record each step of the strategy using the strategy notation documented
earlier.
Recovering and documenting the strategy paces this persons current experience.
Once all the steps of the strategy, including the exit point, have been elicited it's time to
move on to the second stage - changing the strategy.
Hypnotic language patterns can also be integrated by emphasising key phrases, using a
slightly lowered voice tone, while subtly nodding the head to subconsciously affirm that
statement and elicit agreement.
Run through the strategy step by step just as it was elicited earlier but this time you
adopt the role of the 'pupil' learning how to run the strategy i.e.:' What's the first thing that has to happen that lets me know it's time to X? Do I hear
something, see something, feel something, say something to myself? etc.. etc. '
' What should I do next? etc. etc. '
For each step in the strategy purposely mis-match the key sensory modality using an
example which is the polar opposite of the experience that the person running the
strategy would usually have.
For example, let's say that at the second step of the strategy the person says to
themselves ' Oh no, this is going to be really scary '. Even if they say this silently to
themselves in their own mind there will be certain submodalities associated with the
voice that they 'hear'. Let's assume that the voice is a low pitched rumble, the kind that
might invoke fear - your response could be:' So I have to say to myself 'Oh no, this is going to be really scary'. And what voice
should I say that in? Is it a really high pitched voice like Mickey Mouse? '
It's important to actually demonstrate each action in the way you describe it i.e. you
would actually say the above words using a high pitched voice like Mickey Mouse (or as
near as you can get to it).
If that sounds like a silly idea then that's great - anything which shakes the person's
model of the world and gets them thinking about behaving in different ways fits exactly
with the purpose of this method.
It is vitally important to maintain rapport with the other person throughout this process.
In the absence of a strong rapport the person you're working with may lose trust in the
process or may feel that you are treating their behaviours as a subject of fun.
Make sure the behavioural examples that you offer for each step of the strategy are
(within safe, sensible and ecological boundaries) extreme polar opposites of those
described by the person whose strategy you wish to change. This is fundamental to
assisting this person to stretch their world model sufficiently by forcing them to consider
behaviours radically different to those they are used to.
The third and final stage of the Logical Levels method switches,
from pacing and leading, to pure leading in the direction of new behavioural choices.
By working through a persons strategy step-by-step, purposely mismatching the key
sensory modalities at each step, we provide a context which allows the person to fully
consider the possibility of alternative behaviours which in turn increases choice and
behavioural flexibility.
In the presence of a good rapport the person you are working with will have to compare
and contrast their original behaviours with the alternative behaviours you describe to
them simply in order to respond to your questions.
They may only consider each one for a moment or two before correcting you but, if you
describe each behaviour vividly enough, they will develop a full Visual, Kinesthetic and
Auditory representation of each alternative behaviour.
After considering a behaviour which is the polar opposite of what theyve been used to
this persons natural response is likely to be in the negative i.e. 'No, it's not a really high
pitched voice like Mickey Mouse'
You respond with:Well could it be? And if it was, would it still work?'
In order to answer this question the person now has to imagine actually performing this
alternative behaviour which, remember, is the polar opposite of what they would
normally do at this step of the strategy. To do this effectively they now have to fully
associate into this alternative behaviour see what they would see, hear what they
would hear etc. etc.
In order to process your words and respond to your questions the person will have to
mentally 'rehearse' each alternative behaviour in the context of their strategy.
Each and every mental 'rehearsal' that they perform:
Reframing
Introduction
When we experience this phenomenon passively, from the effect side of the cause-andeffect equation, it can be limiting to our behaviours and to the choices that we perceive
as being available to us. On the other hand, once we learn to take active control of this
phenomenon and place ourselves at the cause side of the equation it becomes a very
effective way to empower ourselves and others.
Reframing provides the means to take any given situation or experience and, by placing
a different frame around it, change its meaning, either directly or by placing it in an
alternative context in which it means something else.
What is reframing?
The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the
glass as half empty. The realist simply sees an opportunity to quench their thirst.
The partially filled glass, it would seem, means different things to different people and
those meanings affect their states and behaviours.
In and of itself though, the partially filled glass doesnt mean anything in particular the
meaning is supplied by the observers, each from their own viewpoint, from their own
unique world models. The meaning of the glass depends on who is experiencing it and in
which context that experience takes place.
All meaning is subjective and context dependent. Sometimes the meanings that people
apply to their world, to events both within and beyond their influence, to the words and
actions of others, to the results they get, to their successes and failures can affect
them in ways which are less than congruent with their objectives/goals/desires/dreams.
The meanings which we apply to our model of the world directly influence our
behaviours, the ways in which we respond to the world around us.
For example, if a person is resting in bed and hears his bedroom door open, that exact
same noise will have two totally different meanings to him and evoke drastically different
reactions depending on whether (1) he is alone in a locked house, or (2) he had
previously invited his friend over and left the back door to his house unlocked.
In the above examples (1) and (2) are different context frames which, when applied to
the sensory stimulus of hearing the bedroom door open, change the meaning of that
experience for that person. The meaning that the person applies to the stimulus will
cause them to modify their behaviour, to respond in different ways.
Trying to change behaviour directly can be difficult, but we can change our perceptions,
our Internal Representations of anything in an instant, and this change will in turn lead
to changes in our states or behaviours.
Reframing makes this process explicit so that we can do it with skill and volition.
Reframing basics
Your context reframes and meaning reframes will be much more effective when you
remember to include these basics.
Context reframe
For maximum effectiveness in the delivery of a successful reframe we also need some
means of knowing which type of reframe will be most appropriate at which time. Paying
attention to the language structures a person uses when stating the problem
experience can provide the means by which to choose between a context reframe and a
meaning reframe.
A context reframe can be usefully delivered in response to a comparative deletion
where a comparison is being made with some unknown quantity or a characterisation is
made such as:
1. Hes too mean with his money
2. Shes slow
3. Its expensive
If we were using the Meta Model we would tend to challenge these comparative deletions
/ characterisations directly i.e.:
1. Too mean according to who?
2. To slow for what purpose?
3. Expensive compared to what?
To respond to these comparative deletions / characterisations with a context reframe
rather than a Meta Model response, ask yourself what other context(s) exist in which
this characteristic or behaviour would be considered more appropriate or useful or an
asset or a skill?
Appropriate context reframes for the above examples could include:
1. Hes too mean with his money And its that very
skill which has allowed him to pay for a very fine
education for each of his children.
2. Shes slow And when you find yourself absorbed
in one of her books not only will you appreciate
every single second she poured into it, youll also
understand exactly why they fly off the shelves.
3. Its expensive What would be really expensive
would be buying the other one which costs 10% less
but lasts half as long. This one by comparison, is
an absolute bargain!
Meaning reframe
To assist you in developing a meaning reframe which will have maximum impact on this
person you could ask yourself questions such as:
Or simply:-
Following this pattern, useful reframes to the examples above could include:1. He obviously cares enough about you enough to
assist you in ensuring that you perform to the best
of your ability.
2. Sure, the early bird catches the worm, but its the
second mouse that gets the cheese (from the
mouse trap)! How many of those people who made
rush purchases really got the best deal? How many
of them will be truly happy with their purchase
when they get home? Every smart consumer knows
that the best bargains are always to be had at the
end of the day.
3. Imagine how unimpressed the interviewer would be
if you went into the interview looking half asleep, or
with an air of arrogant confidence. A little bit of
nervousness lets the interviewer know that you
really care about this job.
The I wish Id said... moment is an experience that many of us have had when weve
had a discussion which didnt go quite the way we would have wished. After the event,
with the benefit of hindsight, a killer response invariably springs to mind which, had we
uttered it, would have convinced the other person that our point of view was better,
more accurate, more relevant the whole time.
With practice those killer responses or reframes as they are known in NLP can become
more easily and more rapidly available to you so that youll be able to deliver them
effectively and naturally whenever you choose
5. Ask the part if it will agree to use the new choices over
the next few weeks, rather than the old behaviour.
This is future rehearsing the new behaviour. There is no reason why the part should not agree
to do this. If you get a 'No', then tell it it can still use the old behaviour - only use the new
behaviour first. If you still get a 'No', then reframe the objecting part (By going back to step
1).
6. Ecological Check
Go inside and ask, 'Does any part of me object to the new choices?' If there are objections
then check them out by asking the part to intensify the signal. If there are objections then you
can reframe the part or ask it to get together with the creative part to find more solutions.
Ensure that there are no objecting parts, otherwise they may try to sabotage.
Summary
1. Identify a problem
2. Identify the part, and get different signals for 'Yes' and 'No'.
3. Get the part's positive intention, and ask it 'If you were given ways of
achieving this intention just as well or even better than now, would you be
willing to try them out for a week or so?'
4. Ask your creative part to generate many possible solutions (it does not
have to find only good ones!) while the part in question gives a 'Yes' signal
when there is a solution it thinks it might use. Get at least three.
5. Ask the part if it will try these in the next few weeks.
6. Check that there aren't any objecting parts.
When we are young, we try out different behaviors and some of them work. We keep
the ones that work, even when times change and those responses may not be the
most useful ones. Throwing a tantrum at 4 might get us what we want, at 44 it
probably wont work so well.
Behind every behavior is a positive intention this is one of the basic NLP
presuppositions. Motives drive behavior. Our brains do nothing without some (usually
unconscious) purpose.
The Process
1.
2.
3.
Find the positive intention. Ask the part What do you want? What positive
thing are you trying to do for me? The key here is to recognize the difference
between the parts intention and the way it is going about getting it.
Have you ever tried to be helpful and the person misunderstood your intention and
got annoyed? How does it make you feel? Are you likely to help a second time? Our
unconscious parts feel the same. Here they are doing the best they can to achieve
something for you. Is there thanks or even appreciation? We might have a long
history of fighting and shaming this response.
If a neighbor repeatedly told you what a worthless lazy bum you were for not mowing
your lawn more often, would it inspire you to mow? I have no idea why many of us
think shaming works to change behavior. It doesnt work for me.
Assuming that this aspect of self has a positive intention can create rapport and
therefore makes it more willing to cooperate.
4.
Ask for help from their/your creative part to create three alternative ways to
get the intended outcome.
5.
Have the part evaluate these new choices. Are they acceptable? Will they be
as good as or better than the previous behavior? It needs to be willing to try them out
for the next month or longer if appropriate.The key here is negotiation. If the part with
the unwanted behavior is not happy with these alternatives, it is unlikely to give them
a go. If you have ever agreed to something because you were bullied into it, youll
know how important willing commitment is.If the alternatives are not acceptable, go
back to step 4 for better choices.
6.
Check for objections with other parts with an ecology check and future pacing.
When we change behaviors, we can affect other people and aspects of ourselves.
Even changes we think are fabulous have unintended consequences. We get our
new car, but our camping gear doesnt fit in the boot.If there are objections, put them
through the same process from step 2 what is the positive intention etc?
Parts Integration
8. Relax for a few minutes and then think about that old issue in light of being a
more integrated person now.
.
9. Consider how youre going to approach your situation differently in the future,
now that youre fully integrated
.
Should you not yet feel fully confident about sustaining the change that the above
process facilitates, then perhaps there is another Part that wants to have its say on
the matter. In such a case you simply repeat this process until all Parts are playing
for the same team.
Should you get stuck, then seek the help of a qualified NLP Practitioner to help you
achieve the results that you want.
aPart from that, remember youre more than the sum of your Parts.
Video - http://jevondangeli.com/video-13-nlp-parts-integration/
To Chocolate or Not to Chocolate: A part of you wants to be fit and to lose weight
while another part of you wants to enjoy the taste of the yummy chocolate
To Be or not to be: A part of you wants you to quit your job and start your own
business while the other part of you wants you to enjoy the current jobs security
Sometimes you may not be able to break a habit just because a part of you wants it. In this
case the more you will try to break it the more will this part hold on to it and so the result will
be returning back to the habit without knowing why.
Step One, Identify the parts: Hold both of your hands in front of you So that your
palms face the ceiling. Look at the first hand and imagine that you are holding the
first part on it and try to imagine the shape of the part. Some people see it as a
glowing ball, some see it as one of their parents and others see much more weird
things so just visualize the shape that makes you most comfortable. Try to notice if
the part has a weight or if It has a sound. Do the same for the second part. We are
using symbols in here because your subconscious mind thinks using symbols.
Ask The first part about its Intention: look at the first part and ask it "why do you
want to eat that chocolate?" the answer will be something like "Because I want you to
enjoy the taste of chocolate" ask it again, "why do you want me to enjoy the taste?"
the answer will be something like "because I want you to be happy". As you saw you
should ask more questions until you determine the highest positive intention of the
part
Ask the Second part about its intention go to the second part and do the same.
Your main goal is allowing the two parts to agree on a common goal which was
happiness in this case. The more you go up in the hierarchy of intentions the more
will you find that parts are agreeing together
Bring them together: Talk to both parts and tell them that they both have the same
intention and that there is no need for a conflict. If you were doing it right from the
beginning you will notice that your hands are coming closer and closer until they
touch. If your hands touched each other then hold them together firmly and this will
send a clear message to your subconscious mind that the conflict was resolved. As a
result the next time you wont find that big resistance when you try to stop eating
chocolate.
2knowmyself is not a simple article website nor its a place where you will find shallow fixes,
but its a place where you will find effective techniques that are backed by psychology and
that are presented in obvious and understandable format. If you think that this is some kind
of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.The book How to
make someone fall in love with you was released by 2knowmyself.com; the book will
dramatically increase your chance of letting someone fall in love with you.
5. Have the explorer associate into each part and look at the other again,
and this time describe the resources that the other has that would be
helpful to its own positive intention.
a. Secure a congruent agreement from the parts to combine their
resources so they can more fully accomplish their own purpose.
Usually the reason that they will have mistrusted or disliked each
other previously is precisely because the other has not had these
resources and has thus seemed foreign and out of control.
6. Ask your partner to bring his or her hands together at the same time that
he or she creates a new representation of himself or herself in all sensory
systems that fully integrates the resources of both parts. (Calibrate to an
integration/symmetry of the two physiologies that accompanied the
separate parts.)
a. Remind your partner that an integration is not a compromise or a
contract. If you are successful there will no longer be two separate
parts but rather one whole person.
b. The "visual squash" technique described above is not always the
only method of integration although it is the most common and is
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The Idea:
The Parts Integration or Parts Negotiation pattern is useful for times when we hold conflicting values, each having
a great importance within ourselves. Strong values or desired outcomes are backed by mental and emotional resources,
such that when these conflicts happen a real internal struggle can ensue, and one part of ourselves can find itself at war
with another. We feel like there is no way out of these dilemmas or conundrums except to let the parts go on fighting.
Occasional dilemmas are a part of life, but when these battles rage on for too long, it can become debilitating.
Fortunately whether the conflict is occasional or constant, we can use this NLP pattern to arrive at a win-win or no-deal
solution.
The Pattern:
1. Identify the parts, and check for "yes" and "no" for each
Get in touch with the part of you that does or believes in X... Does it have a name?
Now get in touch with the part of you that does or believes in Y... Does it have a name?
2. Determine the desired outcomes and positive intentions of each part in turn
Let's start by giving X an audience... What positive outcome does X want for you... and when X gets that
outcome, what does that do for you... and what does that outcome do for you?
Now, let's give Y a turn... What positive outcome does Y want for you... and when Y gets that outcome, what
does that do for you... and what does that outcome do for you?
Does X understand and agree with any of the positive intentions of Y? Which, and how much?
Does Y understand and agree with any of the positive intentions of X? Which, and how much?
4. Negotiate an agreement
Can X can agree not to interrupt or sabotage Y when it is expressing itself through you?
Can Y can agree to wait its turn to express itself when X holds sway in you?
5. Make a deal
Can both sides agree to cooperate respectfully of each other for the foreseeable future?
If either side becomes dissatisfied with the other, would it please give a clear sign so that we know it is time to
renegotiate? Can that sign be given amicably?
Are there any other parts of you that disagree with this deal?
Are there any other reasons not to implement this plan now?
At this months NLP Practice Group, we practiced the Parts Integration Technique.
As with most NLP techniques there are several versions of this exercise. The practice
group members first read the technique then practised the technique without using a
script allowing us to use our knowledge, imagination and response from the client to
complete the exercise. This worked well and the flow of the technique was a lot
8. Recognise whether there is a persuasion to one part more than the other. Does
one part have better resources to achieve the shared goal of helping you with the
support of the second part?
9. Bring both your hands together and fully integrate the parts and their positive
resources
Introduction
In my work with clients, I often come to the point where the person cannot move on due to an
internal conflict; it is as if two parts of them want two different things and, of course, they end up
with neither. The conflict has to be resolved somehow. Prior to discovering NLP in 1989, this was
often a dead-end in my work. Since 1989, however, I have been using the gentle yet powerful NLP
technique known variously as The Visual Squash and Outcome Integration. Four years later I
discovered the Enneagram and another piece of the jigsaw was added as I now had another way
to work with clients.
In my NLP work, I would have to try whichever process felt right and I find that some processes
worked with some people but not with others. As I had no way of being able to discriminate, I
just tried everything with everyone. I got results but it wasnt very elegant and also took some
time. With my new knowledge of the Enneagram, I started to recognize that certain Types
respond better to certain NLP techniques and processes. As a result, I could work faster and
more elegantly.
It worked the other way around too. Many of the NLP techniques and processes helped to reveal
Type so that I was also able to help people find their Enneagram Space more quickly through
what they revealed about themselves in some of the more linguistic NLP work.
The place where these two worlds overlap most obviously is the process that I am about to
describe and with Core Transformation, which I shall write about at some future date.
As you read about the Visual Squash and either take yourself through it or consider guiding
someone else through it, you will start to recognize that the internal conflicts that we are
exploring are Enneagram-based. This will be revealed in the metaphors that emerge, very often
at an unconscious level. Sixes very often have a scared part and a courageous part; Eights may
have a very strong part and a weak part; Ones may suffer from two parts that are both Right, and
yet want different things; and so on. Sometimes I may point out these patterns; at other times I
use it as data to inform my work with the person when he or she is processing at a more
conscious level.
I would love to hear from others who are already using Visual Squash (or indeed Core
Transformation) to share thoughts about how we can use NLP to inform our Enneagram work,
and how we can use the Enneagram to inform our NLP work. But more of this later.
The Presentation
My presentation at this years IEA Global Conference in Burlingame took the form of an
introduction to the process, a demonstration of the process, and allowing participants to work in
pairs exploring the process. But rather than write up a description of the session, that might only
make sense for those who were there, I thought that it might be more useful to adapt something
that I have been writing for the second edition of my book. This is a much fuller description of
the process for resolving internal conflict.
There is enough information here for you to take yourself and/or another person through the
process, but I would recommend getting together with a friend or colleague and exploring it
together the first time that you experience it.
I would love to receive feedback or questions from those of you who choose to give it a go
knowing that the worst thing that will happen is that it wont work; the best that can happen is
pretty magical.
Please also remember that this process is for resolving conflict between two parts; if there is only
one part, it will usually be more appropriate to use the Six Step Reframe process.
The Visual Squash
This process is particularly good when there is an internal conflict (although it can be adapted for use with
individuals or teams as a way of resolving external conflicts).
The first question to ask is: how do you know that you have an internal conflict? Often when I am working
with someone, this emerges out of the language that they are using, their tone of voice, and also their body
language. This is not a specific technical skill, but more a matter of observing and listening, being curious
and interested, and asking questions.
Back to the original question, how do you know that you have a conflict? Sometimes the answer is
obvious, when people actually say something like, well, part of me wants to x, but another part of me
wants to y. Surprisingly, to me, when I repeat this back to the Explorer, it is often outside of their
conscious awareness, even when they emphasize the separateness of the two parts by pointing to different
places as they point to the two parts, either outside their body or in different parts of their body. The
simple act of mirroring this behaviour by pointing out what they have just done starts the process of
bringing the conflict to conscious awareness.
For others, it is the awareness of internal voices, which may be also be located inside or outside the persons
body. They may be the voice or voices of the Explorer but just as often the voice or voices of other people.
The important thing to note is that they will have different messages.
Another way in which conflicts manifest themselves is through feelings in the body. By feelings, I really
mean internal sensations, or e-motions. Sometimes they are in the same general area of the body, but more
commonly, they are in different areas such as the head or the throat, the chest, or the belly. At other times,
the difference is more about the left and right hand sides of the body part, often matched with language
such as on the one hand I want x, and on the other hand, I want y.
What is manifesting, however, is a situation where there are two parts of the person that want different
things; such as, part of me wants to binge, but another part of me wants to diet, part of me wants to go
out and party, but another part of me is tired and wants to stay in, part of me is scared, part of me is
courageous, part of me wants to smoke, part of me wants to quit.
The irony is not only that we cannot have both of these things, but also that each part is stopping the other
from achieving what it wants.
If we think about this through Enneagram eyes, I am sure that you will already have started
noticing that there may be information here about type, although I would urge you to hold this
lightly as an hypothesis at this stage.
One of the first things that we need to do is to communicate with the parts. This might seem easy but can
actually be problematic, and particularly, as is so often the case, if the Explorer perceives one part as
positive while the other is considered as negative. If real communication is to be achieved, it is really
important that we, as the Guide, are neutral regardless of how much the person is biased towards one part
or the other. Milton Erickson used to say that it is more important to get rapport with the Parts of the
Explorer than with the Explorer.
For these reasons, it is often necessary to send the conscious mind away while working with the parts. I
will often ask an interrupting conscious mind to perform a task such planning the evenings menu and
shopping for it, or counting down from a million in sevens. This gives the conscious mind something to do
rather than interfering in the process by trying to apply logic to a situation that cannot be resolved in that
way. If it could, then it wouldnt be necessary to even consider applying this process as the problem or issue
would have already been resolved. This is particularly important when working with intelligent Head
people. They need to know that their logic has failed.
However the parts have manifested, it is important to acknowledge and recognize them and their value and
importance to themselves, to the Explorer, and to you. This may take some time as often the parts, and
particularly the ones perceived as negative, are often very young, have been around for a long time, and
have also often been ignored or punished or bullied. If there is a history of this, they expect it to happen
again, hence the importance of establishing rapport with them and really letting them know that you are
going to listen to them.
Another important presupposition is that the part perceived as being negative has a positive intent, not
only for itself, but also for the person. This fact has often been lost sight of. It is incumbent upon us to
regain the perception that the part is in reality positive and has positive intentions for us.
To achieve this, it is important that the person goes into what we could call a light trance, closing their
eyes and resting their hands palm upwards on their knees. You then start asking about the issue and how
the person knows that there is a conflict. Once you have established contact with the parts and
acknowledged and valued them, and let them know that you really want to communicate with them, you
ask each part to step on to the persons open palm. This might seem odd but generally happens very
quickly once the right amount of groundwork has been done.
The next piece is one of my favourite parts of NLP as you ask the person to take a look at each part.
Sometimes they are miniature versions of the person, either at different ages or dressed differently to reflect
the different aspects of the self that they represent. Mostly, however, the response is more abstract it may
be an animal, real or fantasy, a concrete object, a colour, a shape, or even energy. Whatever appears, it is
important to thank it for appearing and to welcome it, and to state that even if we dont yet know what it
wants, we are sure that it will be something positive.
Prior to this stage, there may be a need for some negotiation, but this is fine as long as time has been spent
building rapport. Each part needs to know that it will be coming out on to the hand, and that it is merely a
matter for them to decide which comes first and on to which hand each will go.
Once they are on the hands, you have to ask each hand in turn what it wants. Clearly, one of them has to go
first, but this is usually OK as long as the other knows that it will have its turn next. This verbal
acknowledgement of fairness and sticking to the rules, is important and usually leads to and easy and
clean process, where objections are easily dealt with as long as the rules are clear and explicit and adhered
to.
The next stage is called chunking up. In turn, although it is possible and OK to alternate, we ask each
part what it wants, and then ask the part what it would get if that outcome were already achieved. We
continue asking this question until there is no more for the part to say. What happens is that each part
wants the same thing, or something as close to that that it makes little difference, as the other.
If I diet then eventually I will get peace, whereas if I binge I will also eventually get peace, or whatever it is
that the part wants.
At this point I ask the parts if they are aware of one another and often they are not. If this is the case, I get
them to turn and face one another (up to this point they have usually been looking at me) and just get to
know one another and to acknowledge that the other exists.
This can be quite a transformative moment as often they have been completely unaware of one another up to
this point or else assumed that the other was an evil or alien part that is completely wrong. This is why
it is so important that I am neutral and accepting of each part despite whatever the other part or the person
themselves think of the part.
Once the parts have gotten to know one another, we can start the process of finding out what each part
wants for itself and also for the person. It is important here also to point out, and it is almost always true,
that neither part can have what it wants because the resources needed to achieve this are held by the other
part as well as the other part having the power and the influence to stop the other from achieving its
outcome. Neither can achieve their outcome, and they both sort of know this.
If appropriate at this point, I will set up an anchor by touching the underside of the hands in turn as each
part accesses this important realization.
By this point, the two hands have already started to move as each part comes to realize the value of the
other. If not, then I ask each part how it can reach its outcome knowing that what it needs is on the other
hand. Very often they have come together by now. If not, I ask what would emerge if the best resources in
each hand, from each part, were to be placed in the middle. Watching the physiology carefully (and there are
often few words from the Explorer throughout all of this process, making calibration to physiology
absolutely essential as it is the only way to have any inkling as to what is happening for the Explorer), it is
fairly easy to know where you are in the process. When the hands come together, or the resources of each
have come together and are being held by both hands, there is usually a significant shift in physiology.
Breathing usually slows down and becomes deeper and lower in the body. Blood rushes to the surface with
a consequent heightening of colour. Any tensions held in the face disappear as the Explorer becomes more
relaxed.
I allow this new situation to settle before asking where this feeling belongs. Often the person will already
have started to let their hands move closer to the chest and I encourage this; obviously, we dont want such
a lovely feeling to stay outside the body and all it takes is a little encouragement for the Explorer to allow
the feeling in, and then to spread throughout the whole of their being. Once this has been achieved, the next
thing is to ask not just how this feels now but also how it will affect those times in the future when there
would have been conflict before. This is the all-important future pace.
Once the Explorer has integrated this feeling, I suggest that they might want to choose an anchor, just in
case they need to remind themselves of this feeling in the future. This is actually seldom needed as the
integration of the new feeling is usually complete by this stage, but I always prefer a belt-and-braces
approach, just in case.
Once the Explorer has opened their eyes again, I dont really want to talk about what has happened at a
conscious level and it is quite common for the person not to know what they are going to do in future, but
they do have a definite sense that it will be different from what they have done in the past. It is quite
common also for people to tell me weeks later that when looking back they found that they had behaved
differently but that this hadnt been a conscious choice.
I believe that this is an important part of the process because over-analyzing could undo the good work
done. What can be fun is to talk about what they saw on their hands. Remember that this is most often
metaphorical and often surprises the Explorer as me much as me: a pig and a wall becoming a rainbow, a
globe and a brick turning into a cloud. There are many delightful surprises at this stage. I never analyze
this or try to interpret what has happened, knowing that something remarkable and magical has often
occurred.
Visual Squash or Outcome Integration The Procedure
(With thanks to Connirae and Steve Andreas)
1. Identify the two conflicting parts and name them.
2. Place each of the parts on to the upturned palms. Describe each part fully, what it looks like,
how it sounds and feels.
3. Access the outcome and positive intention for each part.
4. Chunk up to a shared outcome.
5. Invite each part to turn to the other and recognize each others existence. Let each know the
outcome and positive intention of the other. Let each understand that the mutual outcome is not
being met because the two parts are in conflict. Point out that the resources that each part needs
to achieve the outcome are held by the other part.
6. Either invite them to come together and create a new part that will achieve the outcome, or
create a new part between them that includes all of the best of each of the two parts.
In most cases, by now the hands and the parts will have come together. If not, invite them to
allow this to happen.
7. Invite the explorer to allow the new integrated part to come into the body and spread
throughout the whole of their being physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual.
8. Invite the explorer to think of times where there might have been a conflict and to notice how
different this is now that they have the full resources of the new integrated part. Invite the
explorer to consider other times and places where this new resource will be useful.
I believe that there is enough information about the process for you to be able to use it, but
would recommend that you work in pairs initially, taking one another through the Visual Squash
as I think it is important that you have experienced what happens before you take others through
it. If you have any questions about the procedure, please get in touch and Ill do my best to help.
It would also be great to hear from those of you who have already used the process, or are about
to, so that we can share how we can use it in our Enneagram work.
For Learning
One interesting use of the visual squash is to use the framework of one skill to help learn
another. As a learning tool, it can produce new insights into both areas.
We often hold skills as separate and distinct fields. We dont transfer what we have learned
in one area to another. For instance, a skill in organizing craft projects transferred to
organizing a job application.
The process
1.
2.
Make a representation that involves seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, tasting. Feel
the weight, temperature and texture as though it was real.For instance, I feel anxious
about the job interview. It looks like a black hole, sound squeaky, feels slimy, cool and
heavy, smells and tastes like burnt toast.
3.
Decide what you would like to have as the desired state.I would like to feel alert
and enthusiastic
4.
Make a full representation of the desired state in the other hand, using all your
senses.It looks like a white shiny box, full of interesting things, plays Twinkle Twinkle
Little Star, smells and tastes like orange.
5.
Go back and forth between each hand, focusing on the problem state then the
desired state a couple of times.
6.
7.
8.
9.
You can then bring it into some part of your body. This can be the chest, head or
stomach etc.
Usually practitioners do future pacing at the end of an NLP process to ensure the
changes are available outside in the everyday world. It is easy to respond resourcefully
when there is no immediate threat or pressure.
This technique uses the submodalities of association dissociation and NLP Anchoring.
By imagining and virtually experiencing situations where you would appropriately use
the resource or change, you can find out if it is triggered automatically.
For instance, imagine walking in the front door and seeing chaos does your calm and
patient resource kick in? What are you saying to yourself? How are you breathing and
feeling?
When doing this for someone else, you need to consider do they look calm and
patient? What is their body language and breathing like? What is their voice tone and
volume like? Do they sound or look tense like they did when described their previous
response?
Think of four possible situations in the future, which would have previously
triggered the old behavior. For example seeing a mess in the living room, getting a
phone call from the teacher, a colleague letting you down etc
2.
Imagine stepping into the first situation. See, hear, feel (as in touch not emotion),
smell and/or taste what you would experience in the first situation, out of your own
eyes. That is associated to the context.
3.
Does the change hold? Do you respond in the way you would like?
4.
Consider if you need to make further changes to fine tune the desired response.
5.
6.
Come back to now, and imagine and see yourself (dissociated) in the future with
the changes you have made.
2.
Think of four possible situations in the future, where you want the resource
available. For example a job interview, next Fridays presentation, asking someone on a
date.
3.
While triggering or eliciting your resource anchor, imagine stepping into the
first situation. See, hear, feel (as in touch not emotion), smell and/or taste what you
would experience in the first situation, out of your own eyes. That is associated to the
context with the resource.
4.
Imagine responding in the way you want to. You are practicing perfect
performance here.
5.
Consider if you need to make further changes to fine tune the desired response.
For instance, you may need to strengthen the anchor or use a different one. The Circle
of Excellence pattern might be useful here.
6.
Future Pacing
Future pacing is possible the most useful NLP approach I use in my coaching practice. This
techniques is from the book TRANCE-formation.
1) While you are learning to hone your mental rehearsal skills, eliminate as many
distractions as possible. Make your yourself comfortable and take your time. Before long,
mental rehearsal will become a skill you can use at short notice, anywhere.
2) Decide whether you are rehearsing a new, ongoing behaviour, or a finite response or
skill you want to lock into place.
3) Take a series of long, slow breaths, making sure the exhalation is slightly longer than
the inhalation.
4) Relax, scanning your body and gently releasing all muscular tension.
5) Create a dissociated representation of yourself using the new behaviour and coach
yourself so you're doing the behaviour in the best possible way
(If you're dissociated you can improve what you do, if you're associated you can improve
how you'll feel when you do the behaviour.)
6) Consider what will be some of the best states to be in for the behaviour. Imagine
yourself being associated in those states and carrying out the behaviour in the best
possible way.
Future pacing
A successful test does not necessarily mean that the desired result(s) will carry
forward and continue to appear in our behaviour automatically in appropriate
contexts in our future. This is where future pacing enters the equation.
Future pacing could be usefully compared to rehearsal for the unconscious mind.
Future pacing the earlier swish pattern is as simple as asking the person to
imagine a particular time and context at some time in their future where their
natural response would have been the old state / behaviour.
Get them to fully associate into that future scenario, visually, kinesthetically,
auditorily - 'As you step forward to that future time now, step into your body,
see what you would see, hear the sounds around you and feel the feelings of
really being there'.
Once they are associated into the future experience test that their response to it
is the desired state / behaviour from the swish pattern.
Have them repeat this process two or three times, each time stepping into some
different future time where their desired outcome is to have the desired state /
behaviour replace the old problem state / behaviour.
If you get the desired results the future pace is complete - simple as that!
The future pacing process should help to ensure that the seeds of achievement
you plant today continue to bear fruit into the future.
We all have some of that. Our parents, teachers, and other factors lead us to believe
that the world works in certain ways, when we may be thinking things that are
entirely wrong and not even know when were doing that.
Did you know that by studying the elements of NLP, you can become a
better marketer and salesperson? Today, Id like to explore one of those areas, called
Future Pacing.
Lets take a typical customer. You may have met him in person, on the telephone, or
during some interaction where you got him really excited about what it is you have to
sell. Hes ready to plunk the money down right then, until you find out they have to
discuss the purchase with someone else first.
This is usually bad. Once youre not there to pump up the enthusiasm, it dissipates
and you may lose out to what my husband (whos been selling for 35 years) calls the
Third Baseman. However, you can lessen the effects by using some future pacing
techniques that solidify the sale in the customers mind.
Lets think about the Third Baseman first. He or she is someone you never met and
who never met you. Perhaps they havent seen your product, either. All they know
about it is what your primary buyer tells them. If your customer is not able to garner
the same enthusiasm for your product in their Third Basemans mind, youll be sunk.
You can do the best selling job in the world for your primary contact, but this Third
Baseman can unravel all of your good work in just a few minutes flat. They know the
potential buyer better than you do, and they can push buttons that will kill your sale
quicker than a lion kills a wounded wildebeest.. Gone, baby, gone. What you have to
do is cement ideas into your customers mind. You have to make them salespeople,
too.
Thats where this NLP technique of future pacing fits in. You can pre-program your
customer to overcome objections and to reinforce the relationship that they have with
you at the point where they said, Yes, but.
At that point, you can do these things:
OK, Ill take this jacket to the desk and start ringing you up.
Youre really smart buying this now. It may not be around tomorrow. We dont have
many in stock.
You want people to think that if they dont jump immediately, they could be out of luck
and then, they wont be cool and they wont be happy with any other product thats
LIKE the one you sold them. They also like the idea of exclusivity. Its one-of-a-kind.
I know the car is powerful, but its great on gas mileage! Youll be saving money and
helping the environment at the same time.
This course will increase your sales by 50% at least, if you follow these methods.
This bicycle will help you to ease the strain on your back.
Blah-de-blah-de-blah. Which what you say is NOT. Heres the place that matters
most Whats in it for them? You have to convince people that without your
product, they are sunk, or at least, accepting something inferior that wont make
them feel as happy as they do at that moment.
This is the most important part of future pacing. Figure what people are already
thinking. One big objection, usually is that they cant afford it. So You say:
Make buyers reinforce the decision they have already made in their minds.
Oh, yeah, that red is great. The diamond flecks in the paint really make it glow in the
sun
Ask them for objections that their Third Baseman might raise: When they
say they have to clear it with the wife or husband first, ask, Really? Why
wouldnt they want this car?
Then, overcome the objections they present so that your customer can overcome as
theyre posed. Future-proof the sale.
You cant afford it? Listen, you cant afford to walk away from this deal, and just
think about how much youll save with the great gas mileage. This car will pay for
itself.
This air conditioner is energy efficient. Wait until you see how low your electric bills
go.
The money objection is a big one. If you can show them how they can afford your
product or how much theyll save, that will help you to make them see the benefit.
These are just some ideas for you that Ive learned over the years, and Ive been
selling since 1974, mainly banking, but now, I sell services almost every day. When I
sell a client, I know when theyre closed and when theyre not. You really need to
plant the idea in your customers minds that they have already bought the item. Make
it real to them through sensory details, benefits that fit their wants and desires (not
necessarily their needs), and overcome objections that havent yet arisen. If they do
leave to think it over or consult with the wife or husband, youll probably get them
back, IF you have built a strong relationship with them and left no doubt in their
minds whats in it for them.
Its not all about the selling. Its also about how
you connect with your client, how you show them that youre helping them to get
what they want, and treat them with respect, too. Everything you do and say during
the sales process is crucial. So, think about this when youre selling online in
words, on a teleseminar, or in person, too.
You may not have physical products to sell. Perhaps you have affiliate products or
information products, or even intangibles, such as coaching. All of these techniques
in making the sale of those are every bit as valid.
The relationship with your customer is probably the most important element of
closing a deal. If they feel obligated to you because the relationship is strong, they
probably will come back to you and buy sometimes, just because they like you.
Thats not always the case, but the stronger your presentation, the stronger the
bond, the stronger the IMAGE of them having whatever it is youre selling, the more
likely it is that you will make that sale.
Future Pacing is an NLP technique that is incredibly life enhancing, so it's time I
shared it with you. It's also quite germane to the beginning of the New Year - a time
when people do a usually ineffectual form of future pacing called the 'New Year
Resolution'. Hopefully, by understanding the components and competencies involved
in effective future pacing, you will be better placed to do a much more life enhancing
version and begin to future pace a wonderful year ahead.
You cannot NOT Future Pace
You know... Future pacing is also an underlying and ongoing process by which we
construct and create our reality. You cannot NOT future pace, you are doing it all the
time...
So what is Future Pacing? Let's explore that in some detail now.
Future Pacing as Mental Rehearsal
There is a part of your unconscious mind that generates and recapitulates your
thoughts. You bring forth into your world that which you think about.
Obviously there are physical constraints on this. It's not some mumbo-jumbo magic.
You can't future pace an elephant into your living room just by thinking or saying the
words. However, when it comes to generating mind/body states, to influencing your
Psycho-Neuro-Immunology (the influence of the mind/body loop on health), to
guiding the emotions you feel, to altering your moods and perceptions and the
myriad other patterns that generate your phenomenological world... Then, as sages
have pointed out over the ages, your thoughts are powerful!
So... Future Pace for a life of excellence! Every night and every morning, before
sleep and before arising. Think through, plan, project and ask your powerful
unconscious mind for what specifically and how specifically you want to generate
your ongoing future.
It works!!! Well, it works for me and for those I've taught the technique to. And it
really is incredibly life enhancing.
Future pace the quality of your sleeping and dreaming. Future pace your healthing.
Future pace the quality of your waking and your day. Future pace your loving and
interacting with those you care about. The more you future pace, the more
successfully you'll continue to generate a wonderful life.
Future pace!!!! It truly is life enhancing.
past where you maybe didn't like your own behavior as much as you'd
have liked... and perhaps you wanted to do something differently back
then... to arrive at a different outcome than the one you got, then...
Perhaps those of you versed in some NLP Techniques were able to use
any number of NLP tools to get an internal shift relative to how you used
to feel about that event/time/issue in your past.... and just possibly you
may then have used something called FUTURE-PACING, to then make
it more likely that you would achieve the kind of outcome you want for
yourself, as you move into the future. How many people here have
consciously future-paced the results from having used NLP tools with
themselves?
Stile
I have
Jonathan yes
Sabren
as opposed to ? :)
Stile
MarcM
Jonathan Actually -- when I future pace a behavior I tend to copy the physiology of
the behavior not only mentally - but physically if I can, even if the
context isn't applicable -- just to maximize the likelihood of remembering
the change... at the appropriate moment!
Sabren
Jonathan Right, I don't have to... but I'm more likely to do it on Wednesday if I did
a meta-future pace, because I've already practiced choosing to do a
future pace on Wednesday...! So how DOES this help, Marc? What do
you think? How do you think it would help you?
Galamud
MarcM
beats me
Sabren
MarcM
I have yet to get many NLP processes to work on myself, or if they do it's hard to tell when they do.
Jonathan that's a common comment from people who've learned from books but
not training's -- its not a slam in the least -- its just a comment about the
different between passive and active learning.
Galamud
and you just keep on future-pacing until you completely forget your
problem, and then you're cured! =)
Jonathan hehheh galamud -- wouldn't that be nice... but one comment about the
word "cure"
MarcM
Galamud
Jonathan NLP does not work from the medical model. Its doesn't connect with the
presupposition that some people are broken... and that they need to be
fixed or cured. I understand the vernacular but I personally need to be
clear about it for a lot of reasons.
Sabren
DOING it with people, and can see what works and what doesn't from
outside..
MarcM
'course - NLP would just have a different label for the same affect :)
Galamud
Sabren
.. and inside..
Stile
Galamud
Sabren
there's a distinction
Jonathan The medical model assumes the existence of conditions that need to be
treated and cured. The NLP model aims towards OPTIMIZATION and
excellence and does NOT (and should NOT) treat such conditions. If we
happen to prevent such conditions from ever arising, that's terrific! ;)
Sabren
Galamud
Jonathan NLP is *NOT* therapy. Though there are therapists who use NLP.
Stile
Galamud
Jonathan Though early NLP tools did arise from studying therapists (and OTHER
professions, lest we forget)
Galamud
Sabren
Jonathan yes?
Sabren
Jonathan Right....
Sabren
but.. I mean you can future pace things by talking about them and just
putting the picture in people's timelines...
presupposing all the ethical stuff that goes with it is taken care of..
ecology, etc.... how would this work covertly?
Jonathan Then... just sweep your hand through the timeline... slowly, as you talk
about both doing it differently into the future... and about practicing the
process with future paces... (marking out the timeline spots ;)
Consciously they think only of doing future paces at THIS time... but
unconsciously they're locking in future-paces into the timeline./
Sabren
hmmm... cool :)
... or you could anchor them while you future pace, and fire the anchor
off into the future.... :)
Jonathan kewl.... Now.. you could mark out a timeline in space in front of them
(without them knowing or with them knowing...) by talking about different
times as you move to different locations in front of them... making sure
now is close in front of them... then later... as you move across the room
again into the future spots... talk about future pacing (like what you
described only with visual anchoring of your location) and cyclically
running through the future spots again & again...
Sabren
woah! build a timeline, install the behavior, and then return them to their
regularly scheduled reality... temporary timelines! rock on.
Jonathan yes
Sabren
MarcM
so....
Jonathan So lets get more specific... Who still has questions about the MetaFuture-Pace concept (those who were here for the earlier part of the
chat)
MarcM
not I! I tend to understand how things work very easily - I just can't do
them :(
Sabren
ever?
sabren: well, with others I *rarely* get the chance to play around, and,
with myself - it's hard to tell when something actually has an affect
Jonathan Now that we've covered Meta-Future-Pacing... And how it could be used
to MAXIMIZE THE RESULTS of doing a SIMPLE FUTURE-PACE... I'd
like to know if the next time you're successful with an NLP tool on
yourself (if you choose to do something of that nature)... We can follow
it up with a future pace of several times in the future that we'd like the
new behavior to manifest itself... and if we can imagine times after such
behavior manifests itself... in the future... where we do additional futurepaces.... in order to help make that change that we desire to be MUCH
more likely to occur... in real life... and wouldn't that be REALLY
EXCELLENT? I think that would be phenomenal ;)
MarcM
yes
Stile
yesssss!
Jonathan Well, believe it or not... that about covers it... for tonight... there are
certainly exceptions to how to use this that may come up in your use of
this tool... and I may hold another event... following up this one... but
this is a shorty because I'm in the middle of a prac training and because
I'm WAY under the weather ;)
MarcM
Jonathan So I'll thank EVERYONE for coming.... And suggest we move into
another topic right after I do my quickie plug!
Sabren
{applause}
Jonathan I've got some weekend events coming up which should be rather
innovative -- there's the personal enhancement weekends -- but the
exciting ones....
Stile
I'm drooooooling
Jonathan May 29-31 in Tampa. Talk about taking your NLP modeling skills to a
new level. I've been letting the integration of these two careers bubble
up for the last straight year and I'm ready to present.
Sabren
Jonathan So... think about them -- if they're right for you -- sign up and if not -- I
hope you'll recommend them to people who might get some real benefit
out of them. ;) Sabrina has a seat reserved ;) (well, a table, actually).
Sabren
Jonathan I'm done with the obligatory plug -- so have a great time -- I'll stick
around for the informal's for a while... and keep an eye on the
newsgroups for the next chat!
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thought you successfully coached someone and did successful change work,
yet you didnt.
There are a meriad of coaching and change work tools available to effectively
coach someone in to feeling resourcesful in situations where they previously
felt unresourceful.
Future pacing is taught in the better coaching certification programs, and
also in the better NLP training. If you are currently researching training
programs, this would be a sure way to find out if your NLP or (life) coach
certification program is really teaching you the skills you need to successfully
do change work and coach a client. It is also taught in many self-help and
personal development books. Future pacing is one of those key topics that
any coach needs to be able to know how to do.
towards our desired goal. How does it do this? The S.M.A.R.T model worked quite
well but it and others like it lack specificity.
The brain works primarily from our sensory system (pictures, sounds, feelings). The
NLP goal setting model addresses this by getting our goal sensory specific. But it
doesnt stop there. For, the brain not only uses the sensory system, it also uses our
word meanings that drive the sensory system. For this reason, the NLP Goal Setting
Model makes absolutely sure that we language ourselves in such a way as to drive
our very neurology and physiology towards obtaining our desired goal.
The specificity of the NLP Goal Setting Model facilitates concentration on what you
internally see, hear, and feel. Your attention will direct itself toward external and
internal resources necessary in achieving the goal. The NLP model provides the
following features as a way to more clearly think about moving from a present state
to a desired state.
The following key components enable you to effectively identify your desired state
and it begins by eliciting that state even now. Sometimes we call this The WellFormed Outcome Model.
1) State the goal in positive terms.
Describe the Present Situation and compare it with the desired future goal.
What will you see, hear, feel, etc., when you have it?
Engage all of your senses in this description process to employ more of your brain
and nervous system.
Have you broken down your goal into small enough chunks so that each is do-able?
What are the sizes of the behavioral chunks? Could the size possibly overwhelm
you?
Is the desired goal right for you in all circumstances of your life?
What will having your goal give you that you do not now have?
Run a quality check to make sure that your goal fits every part. Ask, Are there any
parts of me that objects to actualizing this desired goal? If so, address those
unconscious frames of mind.
Pay attention to how your whole self responds to the question in terms of images,
sounds, words, and sensations within you.
5) Self-initiated and maintained.
Is the goal something that you can initiate yourself and maintain?
Test your goal by asking if it is something that you have within your power or ability
to do.
Your goal must be something that you can initiate and maintain. It must not be
something dependent on other people. Make sure that your goal reflects things that
you can directly affect.
Where, when, how, with whom, etc. will you get this goal?
Test your goal by applying it to a context: when, where, with who, etc. to make sure
that it is going to be fitting and appropriate. Readjust your goal to make sure that it
fits.
7) State the Resources needed to achieve the goal.
8) Evidence Procedure.
How will you know that your goal has been realized?
What will let you know that you have attained that desired state?
For more on the S.M.A.R.T way to set and achieve goals through the NLP Goal
Setting Model see the Well-Formed Outcome Model in The Users Manual for the
Brain by Bobby G. Bodenhamer, D.Min. and L. Michael Hall, Ph.D..
Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Realistic
Timed
That is, to know exactly what it is that you want. To make sure that you can measure
whether or not you have it, and also measure if you are on the right track to
achieving it. To make sure that it is achievable for you with the resources at you
disposal and realistic to achieve it in the time that you have available. To make sure
that you have a deadline for achieving it. This system is designed to make us
consciously aware of our goal.
Given that most of our behaviours in life are unconscious (unconscious is everything
that is not conscious - like breathing when you are asleep, tying your shoelaces etc)
it makes sense to also let our unconscious mind know about our goals, so that it can
assist in achieving them.
NLP provides us with a process that you can use that will ensure that all of these
points are covered, that your goals are SMART and that your unconscious mind and
energy is aligned in achieving it.
The NLP process involves understanding how you order your memories.
Think of something that happened last week. Got it? Notice as you think of it where
in your head the memory came from.
Think of something that happened last month. Got it? Where did that thought come
from?
Think of something that happened last year. Got it? Point in the direction that the
though came from.
Think of something that happened five years ago. Got it? Did that though come from
the same general direction?
We all store our memories in our head in a line. Usually the most distant memory
away is stored the farthest from us, the most recent the nearest etc. We do this so
that it makes it easier for us to retrieve the memory.
Bear in mind that this memory storing is an unconscious process, so you may not
have been aware of it before now.
I was talking to a client recently about this and he was saying that he couldnt decide
which direction his memories were coming to him from, and as he was talking about
the memories he was looking over his shoulder. His memories were all behind him in
a line!
Now think of something that is going to happen next week. Got it? Notice as you
think of it where in your head the thought (future memory) came from.
Think of something that will likely happen next month month. Got it? Where did that
thought come from?
Think of something that will happen next year. Got it? Point in the direction that the
though came from.
Think of something that will happen five years from now. Got it? Did that though
come from the same general direction?
Your future memories are also stored conveniently in a line.
Now, can you notice that you could draw a line between your most distant memory
and your most distant future event? This is your timeline.
So, lets set a goal using your timeline.
Think of something that you really want to achieve. Think of when you want it by.
When you think of that thing get a picture of it in your head. See yourself in the
picture achieving your goal. See what you will see around you when you are
achieving it, hear what you will hear and feel the feelings that you will experience as
you achieve it.
Great. Now, what | want you to do is float up in the air in your imagination. Float up
above your timeline and grab hold of this picture of you achieving your goal. Grab
hold of it and float out into the future along your timeline until you get to just above
the time that you want to achieve your goal. When you get there just let go of your
picture and let it drift down into your timeline. As it fits into your timeline, notice that
all the events on your timeline rearrange themselves to take into account this new
goal.
Float back to now along your timeline and come down into the present moment.
Take a breath.
Congratulations! You have put a goal in your future using the NLP Timeline method.
You can learn more about working with the unconscious mind, goal setting, timeline
work and assisting others with NLP Practitioner and NLP Master Practitioner Training at
Excellence Assured.
Introduction
Many people are unable to accomplish anything in their life due to a lack of clear
goals. On the other hand, there are people who set daily, weekly and monthly
goals, and get outstanding results. Success is achieved due to their clear focus on
measurable targets. We can reflect back on our successes and failures in life, and
try to understand how clear and positive goals attributed to the desirable results.
Goals are an important aspect of the human experience, and we can describe our
personal goals using desires, dreams or aspirations. Positive goal setting can bring
about a phenomenal change in our lives, and achieving goals can become a
pleasurable experience. Many entrepreneurs and business tycoons are driven by
unimaginable motivation, a definite ambition and a cogent dream. These
motivating goals become a yardstick for all their actions, and success becomes
imminent. Even organizations have their versions of outcomes, missions, visions
and goals. However, the truth remains that the individuals of the organization are
the key contributors for achieving a goal, by converting well-formed goals into
persistence, motivation, self-confidence and belief.
programmed to behave in a way so that we can gain pleasure and avoid pain. That
means we have an inherent excuse for all our actions, good or bad.
By setting positive and constructive goals more consciously, as a well-formed
outcome, we have a bigger chance of converting our goals into behavior and
achievement. Neuro-linguistic Programming can be used to develop this innate
human tendency of setting and achieving goals. Although we might not have a
conscious goal for all our behavior, there exists some underlying motive. Human
beings function as goal achieving machines, and a deep-rooted dream or goal
drives us each and every day. Neuro-linguistic Programming techniques focus on
the goal setting ability as an unconscious as well as conscious process. The Neurolinguistic courses provide the techniques for incorporating a conscious goal setting
in our daily lives, and using our inherent ability to achieve them.
As per Neuro-linguistic Programming, the process of goal setting can be described
using a four-stage success model. The model describes the process of
programming our personal goals in context with the overall progress for achieving
excellence. The four-stage success model encapsulates the Neuro-linguistic
Programming approach for achieving goals and changing behavior. The stages of
the model include:
1) Set the goal by deciding what you want
2) Take action
3) Observe what happens
4) Change your action till you get the desired outcome
Using this Neuro-linguistic Programming four stage success model consciously, we
can steer ourselves toward a desirable outcome and benefit by applying it to all
situations. There lies a thin line between success and failure, where you will find
yourself on the wrong side of the line if you miss out of any one of the above four
stages.
The Neuro-linguistic courses describe the goal setting guidelines known as the
elements of a well-formed outcome. These Neuro-linguistic guidelines are a
foundation for successful behavior and accomplishment, and should be constantly
applied to our daily lives by converting them into a thinking habit. Before using the
guidelines, you must come up with a list of goals, desires, dreams that you want to
accomplish. This is an initial list of goals, which will later on be modified using the
following Neuro-linguistic rules for goal setting:
1) State the goal positively: This is because anything that occupies the mind
intentionally or unintentionally is converted to reality and behavior.
2) Put the goal in context: This is because anything that you visualize, hear or feel
within yourself gives a preview of what will eventually happen.
3) Use specific sensory terms to express the goal: This is because everything
that has been achieved till now is an outcome of a thought in somebodys mind.
4) Choose the goal so that it can be fulfilled by yourself: This is because
achieving goals actually means achieving your goals by controlling anything that is
controllable.
5) Evaluate honestly the effects of achieving the goal: This is because a goal will
bring about a change in behavior, thoughts, feelings and ecology.
6) Choose a worthwhile goal: This is because a goal should be worthwhile to you,
your life and your dreams.
Understanding and applying these Neuro-linguistic guidelines for goal setting can
dramatically improve your chances of achieving the goal. These guidelines can be
learnt through Neuro-linguistic training.
The Neuro-linguistic approach to goal achievement goes beyond the SMART
process by having a unique emphasis on ecology. As per Neuro-linguistic training,
ecology pertains to the broader and more indirect effect of the goal, which can
include affecting other goals. There might also be a conflict between your identity,
values and beliefs and the target goal. In such a case, the goal will not be a
reflection of your personality. In some cases, the goal might cause hurt to people
you care for, and their goals might affect your goals as well. As per natural ecology,
our values, outcomes and desires are interdependent and interconnected with
everyone else related to the goal.
In most cases, our unconscious goals affect the outcome of our conscious goals. It
is important to identify these underlying goals, and satisfy them first. As per Neurolinguistic courses, our secondary gains or unconscious intentions take precedence
over conscious goals. Sometimes, even when the conscious goal is fulfilled, the
unconscious goal remains unsatisfied, resulting in a feeling that something is
amiss, or even anticlimax. In such cases, either the ultimate goal is still not
achieved, or the goal achieved is not the right goal. As per Neuro-linguistic training,
an ecology check must be performed before any efforts are put in for achieving the
goal, failing which can result in a painful post mortem of the failure. A better
definition and purpose of the goal can save time, efforts and pain, and can increase
the chances of success.
Representation of Outcomes
As per the model described in Neuro-linguistic courses, we convert the sensory
stimulus information into a mental representation by creating a map of the world.
These representations create our internal goals. Our beliefs and values instruct our
unconscious mind on what goals must be accomplished. Our most prominent
thoughts direct the type of goals we set and achieve. For example, a person with
strong ethics will pursue ethical goals. A person who believes in independence will
strive to achieve it in all his goals.
As per Neuro-linguistic training, our beliefs and values guide us continuously
towards our ultimate destination. They dictate whether our conscious goals are
achieved or not. For example if a person believes that he cannot manage people,
this belief will hinder all his efforts on managing or leading teams. A belief or a
value can therefore take you spiraling up or down. By identifying and modifying
these underpinning beliefs, you can bring about a change in your approach
towards achieving a goal.
The Cartesian questions provided by Neuro-linguistic courses can help incite the
less conscious goals. The four Neuro-linguistic Cartesian coordinates are:
1) Theorem: What would happen if I did (fully achieve my outcome)? This is
visualizing the fulfillment of the goal.
2) Converse: What wouldnt happen if I did (achieve my outcome)? This question
brings out the secondary gains. It helps identify the benefits of the present
behavior that might be lost once the new outcome is achieved. A few pleasures
might be lost in the process, which you might value strongly. The answer of this
question should be reflected upon carefully, honestly and taking time for
introspection.
3) Inverse: What would happen if I didnt (achieve my outcome)? This question will
bring out the pain or cost of going ahead with the present behavior. The forceful
choice of going ahead as is will provide motivation needed for achieving the goal.
4) Non Mirror Image Reverse: What wouldnt happen if I didnt (achieve my
outcome)? This question in effect confuses the left brain and gets you beyond the
conscious mind. It can make you aware of the values and inner forces that were
hidden. It is best to answer the question intuitively rather than logically. This
question brings a fresh perspective on the goal.
Conclusion
The Cartesian questions can be used to identify hidden aspects of the goal and
create a dialogue between the conscious and unconscious mind. This can help
understand the real meaning of an outcome, and help achieve success by fulfilling
any secondary gains. Personal achievement is possible only when the goals are
precise, well conceived, cover and nurture all aspects of the ecology, and are in
harmony with the unconscious goals, beliefs and values. These guidelines can be
applied to business and organizational goals as well. By reflecting on the goals with
patience and honesty, and modifying them to fit with all aspects of life, personal
excellence can be achieved.
SMART goals were all the rage a few years ago in the corporate world. For those of
you not familiar with business jargon, you might ask: What is a SMART goal?
SMART goals have to be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timed. This
approach is a great start to effective goal-setting, but it can be made better by adding
Neuro Linguistics Programming (NLP) techniques. The sensory-specific information
you include (e.g., what you see, what you hear, what you feel), can help you make
your goals even more specific, more meaningful to you, and assist you in modifying
your behavior in order to achieve your goals. This article details the necessary steps
for creating NLP SMART goals.
If you want SMART goals that are even smarter, you need to work out what you want
by using a well-informed outcome process. The first step is to pick an area of your life
for which you want to set a goal.
Family
Relationship
Career
Health
Spirituality
Remember, keep it simple, specific and realistic. Applying NLP techniques requires
that you use all your senses to design a SMART goal. You will need to answer a series
of questions which will allow you to understand your true motivations for wanting to
achieve your goals and so that you can weigh the pros and cons of success versus
failure.
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The abiltiy to create and maintain an outcome that meets certain well-formedness
conditions is an essential application of NLP. Read the following article and use the
described process and you will experience an improvement in your ability to fulfil
your desires.
by Jules Collingwood NLP Trainer Assessor
A well formed outcome is like an opening gambit in chess. It sets the scene for the
rest of the game, and the level of attention given to plotting the outcome has a direct
bearing on the ease with which desired results are achieved. A well formed outcome
makes the difference between wanting something in theory, and becoming able to go
and get it in practice. This is not the same as taking a position about something. A
well formed outcome describes something that its user wants, in sensory based,
positive terms. It includes a description of what the user wants it for, and the terms,
conditions and environmental contexts in which the user wants to have it. It includes
consideration of different approaches to the outcome, and time frames, costs and
consequences to interested parties, and whether it is within the user's control.
A position is a fixed, limiting decision, usually based on inadequate information and
consideration, and often not open to negotiation. There is no thought of what the
position is designed to achieve for the holder, and the satisfaction a holder derives
from it is often short lived. A position can be couched in negative terms, where as a
statement does not become an outcome until it is put in positive terms. This is to
facilitate the user's thinking in terms of what they want rather than what they do not
want. Then they can describe what they do want in sufficient detail to be able to
recognise it when it happens.
It is valuable at this point to make the distinction between the question 'why' and the
question 'what for'. One of the features of a well formed outcome is that it includes
consideration of the result the user wants it to produce for them; that is the purpose,
the broader perspective, the over view of the desired state, the 'what is this for - what
does it do for you' aspect. To ask 'why' someone wants something will produce a
completely different class of answer. It invites justification. The answer often starts
with 'because...' and continues on from there.
The question 'why' directs the listener's attention backwards in time, to what has
already taken place. In the context of a desired result in the future, backward
directed attention has limited use. What is wanted is forward directed attention
towards the desired future; attention placed on how the user can influence that future
toward meeting their own specification. To find the intended purpose of a course of
action, one needs to ask what the action is for. These answers are more likely to
elicit responses beginning with phrases like 'to make...' or 'to provide...' or 'to do...'.
They contain an element of action, of purpose, of forward momentum and direction.
Intent is presupposed, and information is brought into the system to facilitate action.
So what can one do with this process? When would it be useful to elicit a well formed
outcome, and what material makes suitable subject matter? The answers to these
questions are largely a matter of personal choice. There is much to gain from using
this process on unclear material, 'what would happen if...' situations and those
absolute disasters we want to avoid at all costs. With the 'avoid at all costs' class, the
first thing to ask is what we would rather have in place of the disaster, and then go
on to refine it into something highly desirable.
When defining evidence of the desired outcome, it needs to be something that
another person could see, hear or feel if it were pointed out to them. That is the
meaning of sensory based evidence. It is the only acceptable kind of evidence in the
context of a well formed outcome, and it can be applied equally easily to $1M in the
bank or to 'happiness', 'love', 'fulfilment' or 'peace'. Abstract concepts can be
described in sensory based terms. Individual people respond to their own thoughts
with behaviour, and these responses are visible to observers. Note that different
people will respond differently to the same abstract word, but each response will be
describable. If someone said they wanted 'happiness', the question becomes what
would someone else see, hear or feel that would let them know that the subject of
the question were happy. The answer would describe the subject's behavioural
demonstration of happy' and might (but not necessarily) include such elements as
flushed skin tone, balanced movement and gesture between sides of the body, a
spring in their step and a tendency to sing while working.
Questions are often raised about the notion of something being possible for any able
bodied person just because it is humanly possible', that is it has been done by
someone. There are strongly held beliefs in professional musical, athletic and dance
circles to the effect that unless one began training in childhood, it is too late as an
adult to contemplate a career as a professional instrumentalist, singer, dancer or
athlete. The people who have done it are unusual. They have shown exceptional
dedication, or exceptional planning for their learning, and they have pursued their
outcomes single mindedly and achieved them. They have all had large, clear mental
pictures of their outcomes to work towards, with themselves doing the behaviours
they describe in their evidence procedures. This alone keeps the intent fresh and
enthusiastic and on track, providing momentum to see them through the more
difficult stages.
There was a member of the British Olympic Equestrian Team, for whom that was the
realisation of a dream. Two years earlier, she had her first riding lesson, from
Lucinda Green (nee Prior Palmer). She chose well. Lucinda Green is a brilliant horse
woman and a first rate model for three day eventing. She is also open to new forms
of learning and teaching, and was prepared to allow her pupil to spend sufficient time
with her, asking questions and watching her as well as taking lessons.
Another example is an engineer who always wanted to conduct a particular
symphony. He learned to read music first by the line, and then by the score. Then he
studied films of the great conductors performing the particular work, and interviewed,
observed and learned from one he admired particularly. Again, he chose someone
who was prepared to step outside received wisdom and teach someone who was
missing most of the usual pre-requisites. The engineer conducted the Berlin
Philharmonic Orchestra in his chosen work 11 months after beginning his project.
Then there are the every day applications; the new house, car, job or holiday; the
new skill, language, sporting achievement or future accomplishment. Putting these
through the well formed outcome process provides clarity, direction and purpose,
even to something as transient as giving a party.
The question of control and other people's consent is designed to draw attention to
preparation which might need to be done before the main project can happen. If an
outcome depends on someone else's blessing, it is not well formed at that point. Any
third party consent needs to be obtained as soon as possible, or made the subject of
another outcome to be completed before the main one can begin. Outcomes can be
nested, that is in the process of working out the main one it becomes apparent that
parts of it are subject to preparation on their own account to make the whole project
possible. Separating it in this way often facilitates its passage and completion, often
within shorter time frames than were expected. This makes the well formed outcome
a valuable project management tool, as does the question of acceptability of costs
and consequences.
Ecology is the word used to describe whether an outcome has acceptable costs,
time frame, and consequences including benefits. There are two parts to this
question; one, is the outcome worth the effort, time and other costs involved in
getting there, including strain and inconvenience on valued third parties, and two, is
the end result worth having and keeping. Does it support or detract from the owner's
chosen life style, relationships, and other factors that matter to the owner. Does the
time frame fit. Are all the necessary resources (skills, land, labour, capital, creativity,
networks, relationships) available to bring the project in to the chosen time and cost
scale.
This is a tool which is worth applying to consultancy projects and mediations. If it is
used with clients of all descriptions before agreeing to handle their projects, it can
become the basis of a contract which is written in sufficient detail to ensure that the
work fits the client's expectations, and you use it as evidence on which to present
your bill. It provides a clear description of the results the client wants, while leaving
you, the consultant free to use your expertise to get them there. Most clients have a
less than sensory based idea of what they want you to do for them, and provided this
process is used at the briefing stage, you can save them, and yourself a great deal
of time. When you accept instructions from someone else, your outcome is to
provide them with their outcome. This is the same pattern as deriving a well formed
outcome for your own purposes. You need to know enough detail to fill their
requirements to their specification. This will allow you to decide if you have all the
time and resources you need to do it, and to ask for anything else you need before
agreeing terms.
Is it possible for a human being to achieve the outcome? If it has been done
by someone, then in theory it can be done by you, too. If you are the first, find
out if it is possible.
3. What will I accept as evidence that I have achieved my outcome?
What evidence will you accept that lets you know when you have the
outcome? Ensure that your evidence criteria are described in sensory based
terms ie: That which you can see, hear and/or touch that proves to you and/or
third parties that you have done what you set out to do.
4. Is achieving this outcome within my control?
Is it under your control, ie can you, personally do, authorise or arrange it?
Anything outside your control is not 'well formed'. Instructing your broker is
within your control. So is buying in expertise. Asking your employer for time off
is not. The time off will only become well formed if it is granted.
5. Are the costs and consequences of obtaining this outcome acceptable?
Ensure that the outcome is worth the time, outlay and effort involved in
achieving it, and that impact on third parties or the environment is accounted
for.
6. Do I have all the resources I need to achieve my outcome?
Do you have or can you obtain all the resources, both tangible and intangible
that you need to achieve your outcome? Resources include knowledge,
beliefs, objects, premises, people, money, time.
7. If I could have it now, would I take it?
Are all costs and consequences of achieving your outcome, including the time
involved, acceptable to you and anyone else affected by it? This is known as
ecology. Consider the costs, consequences, environmental and third party
impact of having the outcome.
Is there anything the younger you wants of you? Ask. Maybe it's
information, maybe some symbol or gift. Maybe it's as simple as a hand to
hold. Give what is asked for, make sure the younger you is happy with
that and fully ready to proceed.
Step forward now with the younger you and go through that experience
with all of the skill, knowledge and wisdom that is yours and notice how
not only does he/she react differently and form different decisions and
beliefs, but that everything changes around you as that occurs.
Continue moving through the timeline with the growing you, noticing how
all of life continues to move and change with you, changing everything in
line with these very different learnings.
Come through to now, and stand for a moment hand in hand with that
other you, looking out to your future, and noticing how even the future
has changed and now looks and feels so full of promise, full of
opportunity, full of love. Perhaps it even seems to sparkle and beckon?
Take a step and feel what that is like. Take another and another. What is
this wonderful feeling? Maybe like walking on stardust? Breathe this in
and know that this is yours, your birthright, and you own it.
Say thank you, and turn and step back to now, to the present, here, now,
awake and refreshed and renewed, in your own time, right here with us in
this room. Warning: this whole experience can be intensely moving. Be
gentle. Also, if there is a traumatic event which needs to be dealt with, on
no account attempt to use this technique unless you are a fully-trained
and experienced therapist. Techniques cannot hurt people but clumsy,
ignorant handling certainly can do a great deal of damage.
To learn more about working with timelines, take a look at the book
"Timeline Therapy and the Structure of Personality", by Dr Tad James and
Wyatt Woodsmall. Tad James' live trainings are highly-regarded around the
world.
FASCINATING FACT
One South American tribe imagines that the future is behind their backs and
their past is in front of them. After all, how else would they be able to "see" (or
remember) what happened to them yesterday?
As you can see from the extreme example above, people experience time in all sorts
of different ways.
One of the big applications you make of timelines when you're a Licensed NLP
Practitioners is
If it's a problem for the client, you also get to change their relationship with time.
Timelines are largely about visualisation. For example, if I ask you to picture what
you will be doing tomorrow, you will create a mental image of what you'll be doing,
and it will take up a certain area in your field of vision, with an imaginary distance
from you.
Now, here's the thing. When you think about something you're doing next week, it's
a safe bet this new image occurs in a different part of your field of vision. You might
notice your eyes refocus as you think of the new image. You might even point to a
place some way off where you imagine this future event occurring. Something a
month off will be in another place again.
Many people imagine their future stretches ahead of them and their past stretches
away behind them.
Others imagine the successive days of their future going off to one side, and their
past stretching off in the opposite direction.
Kathleen La Valle, one of the trainers in NLP Life's Licensed NLP Practitioner course,
talks about her experience of teaching timelines in Japan. Here, most of her
students conceive of timelines as starting with the present at the top of a vertical line
in front of them which heads downwards into the future.
All of these conceptions of time are "right". They are subjective ways in which an
individual's brain organises their personal idea of time.
However, there are times when changes need to be made to someone's timeline.
In a forum, one Licensed NLP Practitioner once spoke of a client who came to him
complaining she made the same mistakes over and over again, and feeling "trapped
in an endless cycle".
When the Practitioner elicited her time line, he discovered that she conceived of time
in the following way: the present started at her bellybutton and the progressive days
of the year encircled her until the year's end was back at its starting point, in front of
her bellybutton.
Making changes to her conception helped her to make changes in her life, and to
gain a sense of direction in which she saw a new and exciting time ahead of her.
patterns that had been taught for years, it was not clearly described as a submodality
shift. It was only in 1983 that Richard Bandler explicitly began to reveal the structure
of submodalities in general. He taught how submodality shifts could be used to
change habits (swish pattern), change beliefs, and create motivation or
understanding, and how submodality thresholds could be used to break locked-in
patterns like compulsions, or to lock in new changes. In short, he outlined how
submodalities comprise one way of understanding the underlying structure of all
experience.
We were so impressed with the power and generativity of this approach that we
immediately began to ask ourselves, What else is there that we dont yet know
about? We were convinced that submodalities had more potential than previously
recognized in the field. We asked ourselves, What would happen if we investigated
the submodality structure of Meta-Program sorts? What about finding the underlying
structure of time, and of being past-, present-, or future-oriented.
Innovative Thinking
One way innovations occur is by taking two or more separate paradigms, putting
them together, and finding out what emerges. Thats what we did with metaprograms and submodalities. This thinking led to the Criteria Shift pattern, and
changing internal and external reference, as well as timeline work. Putting time
orientation with submodalities had far more potential than we guessed in advance.
We discovered that different people had widely differing timelines, and that the shape
of the timeline in space not only determined whether a person was in time or
through time, past-, present-, or future-oriented, but determined many other
aspects of personality as well.
We found that by changing this spatial representation of events in time, we could
make profound and very pervasive and generative changes in personality and
orientation without changing the individual events located on the timeline. We
combined the patterns we had learned from Richard with these additional ones wed
discovered to form the first Advanced Submodalities Training in March, 1984.
In many NLP patterns, we had noticed that location is a very powerful driving
submodality; it is significant in timeline work, criteria change work, and belief change
work, and in aligning perceptual positions. It was Robert Dilts who recently offered us
an interesting way to understand this. He pointed out that all three major
representational systems overlap; in location. Colour, for example, is only in the
visual system, pitch is only in the auditory system, and temperature is only in the
kinaesthetic. However, all sights, sounds, and feelings have some location in space.
Changing the location of a representation is often more powerful because it changes
all systems simultaneously. This is the basis for the powerful impact of changing the
location of ones perspective in association / dissociation, and its detailed refinement
in physically aligning the three perceptual positions; Self, Observer, and Other.
At the June 1985 NANLP conference in Denver, Colorado, Steve made a three-hour
presentation on timelines, entitled Just in Time. Among the participants were Wyatt
Woodsmall, and Leslie Cameron-Bandler, who commented at the time on the
usefulness of this new approach.
In his VAK interview (Fall 1991) Tad James comments, I learned about time line
from Wyatt (Woodsmall). When Steve first met Tad in October 1986, we had been
teaching about timelines in public seminars for 2 1/2 years. At that time, Tad
described to Steve his work with selecting individual traumatic experiences on the
timeline, and reorienting the person on their existing timeline in regard to those
experiences in order to change the persons response to them.
Resolving past problems is no guarantee that they wont recur in the future.
However, if the future timeline is changed to the visual construct quadrant, the
person will begin to make future images that are more creative and variable, and
more responsive to changes in the world around them, resulting in far more
generative possibilities and far less disappointment.
Although it is quite easy to change a persons timeline, it takes some experience to
know what kinds of changes might be most worthwhile to try out, and any changes
need to be tried out very tentatively, with full attention to ecology. Changing a
timeline is literally reorganizing all a persons life experiences, so it must be done
with extreme care and sensitivity to be sure the resulting changes will be generative.
For some examples of how to elicit an change Timelines, see our books, Heart of
the Mind, Change Your Mind and Keep the Change, and Conniraes new videotape
Changing Timelines (1992).
gives them more power to change any feelings or behaviour that you want to
change.
As an example lets say you had some bad experiences or mistakes that you
made in your past, which make you feel bad whenever you think of them, and so
you want to strip away these negative feelings and leave behind only the lessons
you learned from the experiences.
To begin, think of the experience you want to change, dont worry about all the
details of the experience, just a rough idea of what happened. Next close your
eyes and take a few deep breaths.
With your eyes closed imagine yourself floating up out of your body, so that you
above your timeline, looking down on it. Now begin moving in the direction of
your past along your timeline. Keep moving back into your past until you feel that
you are at the exact time of that particular experience.
As you look down on this experience, start to drain all the negative associations
from the experience, you can do this by literally visualising washing away any
anger or pain with some water flowing through the location on the timeline, many
people find changing the colour of the experience can also help. Next take the
positive lessons learned and intensify them, you can do by shining a bright
glowing light onto or out of them. Using the anchoring technique, to link a positive
learning experience from somewhere else in your life is very effective.
When you are finished (take as much time as you need) allow yourself to drift
back to the present. Take a moment to notice how you now feel differently about
the past experience which had been causing you trouble and then open your
eyes.
The new associations you have created for this experience will slowly integrate
themselves into your perspective, this can happen fairly quickly or take a few
days to weeks depending on how significant the experience you changed was to
you.
The technique works in basically exactly the same way for future experiences
too, here you simply move along in the opposite direction to a future point in your
timeline, and visualise yourself being the person you want to be, and achieving
your desired outcomes, for example, being more confident in new situations.
Stacking up a few of these experiences in your future timeline can help to amplify
any effect.
You can make timeline experiences more intense by floating down into each of
the experiences. This can bring up all the thoughts and feelings associated with
the experience, so is particularly useful when amplifying positive experiences, but
you may prefer the additional distance and control that is provided by looking
down on them when dealing with a more negative experience.
TimeLines
A Timeline is a visual, linear experience of how someone codes and stores time. In
NLP timeline is a term used to describe the way we internally represent time. We
internally represent the past, present and future differently. Our ability to determine
whether an event has happened in the past, is happening in the present, or is a
future projection comes by matching the experience to our unique time line.
Timeline describes how we characterise chronological time in the space around us.
Timeline work is an NLP Practitioner and NLP Master Practitioner subject, these processes
are powerful and you are advised to attend an NLP Training before you do any of the
NLP processes described below.
Strong emotions are generated way back in the past and the memories of similar
events where the same emotion is generated are stored in a gestalt. The mind
recognises (generalises) events in the present and assesses likely event patterns
(through generalising) in the the future and the emotion recognised from the past is
replicated in the present and even when thinking about the event in the future.
Therefore there is a very good reason to do some work in clearing up the negative
emotions in your past!
The video below is a demonstration for our online NLP practitioner training course, it
show you how timeline work can help people eliminate negative emotions:
Eliciting a timeline
Method 1
If I were to ask your unconscious mind, where the past is, and where your future is, if I were to guess
I would think that you may say, its from right to left, or front to back, or up to down, or in some
direction from you in relation to your body. It is not your conscious concept that im interested in, its
your unconscious. So if I were to ask your unconscious mind where is your past, to what direction
would you point?
And, your future, what direction would you point if i asked your unconscious mind, wheres your
future?
Method 2
Can you remember something that happened 1 week ago
Good, as you do, can you notice where it comes from?
Repeat for 1 month ago, 1 year ago, 5 years ago and 10 years ago
Now apply same to the future
Now ask do you notice that this arrangement implies a line, or some linear arrangement of your
memories?
Elicit timeline
Go back further to directly over the event, looking down on it ask unconscious mind to take
learnings. Ask client to tell you what they are.
Float down inside the event, looking through own eyes. Ask where are the emotions?
Break State
Test
Future Pace
Elicit timeline
Check ecology
Lock it in place
Test
Future Pace
.
Temporal Submodalities
Where the sights, sounds and feelings associated with time are stored, and how.
Time code
Is the way that we store our memories (code things) in past, present and future.