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WORK SAMPLE TITLE: EQUALITY ESSAY

HOW DOES THIS WORK SAMPLE DEMONSTRATE THAT YOU

ARE AN HONORABLE CTTIZEN?
In this essay I discussed gender equality and the different treatments people
are given based on their gender. From beginning till end of the essay I argued that
men and women should be treated equal and gender should not determine what
somebody can or cannot do. This shows I am an honorable citizen because I am
standing up and voicing my opinion on what is just. I am embracing the idea that
all men and women are created equal. I am honorable in voieing sexism should no
longer exist and trying to get all people to hear and believe that.

WHY IS THIS A VALUABLE TRAIT AND HOW WILL THIS HELP

YOU IN THE FUTURE?
Being an honorable citizen is a very valuable trait because you can gain
respect many people. If somebody notices you are putting consideration into
society as a whole, you may be admired. Getting attention by supporting gender
equality can raise awareness to the topic as a whole and eventually gain an ever
bigger fan-base. By being honorable, many more opportunities can be opened for
me in the future. I may be seen as trustworthy which can lead to a job leading off
of independence.

Mariah Luna
AP American Language

to/8114

Equality
Whoopi Goldberg claims "lf you make the choice as a women who's four foot three and
you decide to hit a guy who's six feet tall... and he hits you back, you cannot be surprised !"
Goldberg couldn't have been more accurate when she stated that. lf,a man has been hit, he

the rightto derend himserr

women,^";;';;;'tr:#il^"y

need to u.

t,",t

has

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different than a man because of "chivaf ry. l}fthuoghilmen should not be surprised when

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man strikes her backrthe idea of chivalry is far outdated.

All men and women need to be treated equally. Why should women be treated with
more favoritism? They shouldn't

be.f($Urr"

should not be encouraged, but when it does

happen, the consequences should not always be in the wom{n's favor. lt is not okay for a man

or a women to brutally beat one another, but both should fight back only to protect and defend
themselves. For example, a current hot topic is football star Ray Rice hitting his fianc6, Janay
Palmer, so hard he knocks her out. At first, that's all the media released. Later footage revealed
Palmer was the first of the two to act out violently. lt is understandable for Rice to hit her back,

lt,

butihouldn't have hit her

so hard to the point that she knocked out. Society has portrayed the

idea of men never laying hands on a women in a violent way, but this should not be the case. A

*or@t should never

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believe a man won't strike back. Both women and men should never

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violently act out upon one another unless defending themselves, and when that happens, there
should be no surprises. Women should not go around believing in chivalry.

,*
Chivalry may or may not be dead, but the idea of chivalry applying to the relations

between men and women is outdated. Realistically speaking, there is noSrince charming who
going to be required to treat a

*or$

right because she's a girl. A man should not treat

is

*o@

respectfully because of the idea of chivalry, but because she's a human being. There should be
no "because she's a gtLi' or "because he's a boy." Gender roles and men treating women

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certain way "because she's a girl,1" should not be in existence. A person's gender should not
determine how they are treated, but the fact that everybody is the same, everybody is a human
being, should be.

It is often argued that a man should never hit a women because he is physically
stronger. Scientificalty,

Xr that is true. Nobody

can change

thal it's the way men's

bodies are

created. However, throughout the course of many years, women have definitely proven their
strength. Women happen to be police officers, military workers, firefighters, etc. Many jobs

that require physical strength, women can do. Gender has nothing to do with capabilities. A
women can do anything a man can do. For those reasons, men and women are equal and
should be treated that way.

'ht

Overall, people need to come to the realization that women are to be treated equal &ts
o
$^/r fiyouareawom/nandamanishittingyou,youhitbacktodefendyourself.

bart.

man and

*ortn

is hitting you, you

lfyouarea

hit back to defend yourself. The idea of a man never

hitting, *ornS to defend himself is an invalid argument. A man

is a human being

just like

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women is and should

b.e

treated like it. Another thing individuals need to be aware of is chivalry

being outdated. Men don't need to do fancy things

tordwon@ "because he's a boy." Gender

roles should not be considered in any type of relationship.

C$U Ensllsh FlacQmQnt Teet $eorlng Suide

Score of 6: Superior: A 6 essay is superior writing, but may have minor flaws'
addresses the topic clearly and responds effectively to all aspects of the task
a.
demonstrates a thorough critical understanding of the passage in developing an insightful response
b.
explores the issues thoughtfully and in depth
c.
is coherently organized and developed, with ideas supported by apt reasons and well chosen examples
d.
has an effective, fluent style marked by syntactic variety and a clear command of language
e.
t.
is generally free from errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics

a.
b.

c.
d.

,lrl

e.

f.

a.
b.
c.

A 4 essay demonshates adequate writing. lt may have some errors that distract the reader, but they do not
significantly obscure meaning.
addresses the topic, but may slight some aspects of the task
demonstrates a gelerally accurate understandinq pllhq pa.ssage. in developing a sensible response
g {d
m ay tre at th e to p d iim piffical-i7T'i re petitive
is adequately orgaiized and de.veloped, generally sbfporting ideas with reasons and examples
demonstrates adequate use ofsyntax and language
may have some errors, but generally demonstrates control of grammar, usagel and m9ch3.1i9,9_

ly

d.

e.

Strong:

A 5 essay demonstrates clear competence in writing. lt may have some errors, but they are not serious
enough to distract or confuse the reader.
addresses the topic clearly, but may respond to some aspects of the task more effectively than others
demonstrates a sound critical understanding of the passage in developing a well-reasoned response
shows some depth and complexity of thought
is well organized and developed, with ideas supported by appropriate reasons and examples
displays some syntactic variety and facility in the use of language
@w errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics

Score of 5:

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Score of 3: Marginal: A 3 essay demonstrates developing competence, but is flawed in some significant way(s). A typical essay in
this category reveals one or more of the following weaknesses:
distorts or neglects aspects of the task
a.
demonstrateisome understanding of the passage, but may misconstrue parts of it or make limited use of it in developing a
b.
c.
d.
e.
f.

weak iesponse
lacks focus, or demonstrates confused or simplistic thinking
is poorly organized and developed, presenting generalizations without adequate and appropriate support or presenting details
without generalizations
has limited control of syntax and vocabulary
has an accumulation of errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics that sometimes interfere with meaning

Score of 2: Very

Weak:

A 2 essay is seriously flawed. A typical essay in this category reveals one or more of the following
weaknesses:

a.
b.

c.
d.
e.

f.

indicates confusion about the topic or neglects important aspects of the task
demonstrates very poor understanding of the main points of the passage, does not use the passage appropriately in
developing a response, or may not use the passage at all
lacks focus and coherence, and often fails to communicate its ideas
has very weak organization and development, providing simplistic generalizations without support
has inadequate control of syntax and vocabulary
is marred by numerous errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics that frequently interfere with meaning

Score of 1: lncompetent: A 1 essay demonstrates fundamental deflciencies in writing skills. A typical essay in this category reveals
one or more of the following weaknesses:
to comprehend the question or to respond meaningfully to the topic
an
inability
suggests
a.
demonstrates little or no ability to understand the passage or to use it in developing a response
b.
is unfocused, illogical, or incoherent
c.
is disorganized and undeveloped, providing little or no relevant support
d.
lacks basic control of syntax and vocabulary
e.
has serious and persistent errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics that severely interfere with meaning
f.