How I Understand Official Style: Critique of Rhetorics, Poetics, and Cultures

Refiguring College English Studies

Jintian Li
The text I chose is from my Rhetoric and Writing class reading. Since I
am an English major and my minor is rhetoric and writing, I am required to
read it and have a deep understanding of it. So I am quite familiar with the
text. The title of the text is called Rhetorics, Poetics, and Cultures Refiguring
College English Studies published by Parlor Press LLC at West Lafayette in
Indiana in 2003 and the author is James A. Berlin. This text was originally
published in 1996 by the National Council of Teachers of English as part of
the Refiguring English Studies Series. This text talks about how English
studies in postmodernism are different from that of modernism, and has an
official style because of its strategies of writing and its readability.
According to this text, the groups of people who might be the readers
or users are English teachers especially college writing teachers and college
English writing major students. For college students, when they read this
text, they might be confused about the differences between postmodernism
and modernism since modernism claims that the inner voice we write in our
writing is from our mindthe inside world while postmodernism says our
ideas are shaped by social environmentthe outside world. For English
teachers, they might want to figure out how to explain clearly to students
what and why these two ideas are different. As we know, a correct pedagogy
is very important to a teacher. They might also think about the pedagogy

Berlin talked about in his text and then compare it with the one they
currently apply.
Because the text is used amongst scholars to challenge and instruct
aspiring scholars, it has a very formal style of diction. The following is one
paragraph example I chose from the text. One of the most obvious features
of the employment picture today is the decreasing number of jobs in
manufacturing and the increasing number in the service sector. The vast
majority of the latter fall into the two unstable employment tiers and offer
few

attractions

for

most

workers.

There

are,

however,

conspicuous

exceptions. One obvious feature of flexible accumulation is that accelerating

cycle time in production requires accelerating cycle time in consumption. The
result is the growth of well-compensated workers-almost exclusively
educated workers in the business of producing the artifices of need
inducement: advertising, public relations, and the like. As Harvey explains,
the media, through advertising and other means, have encouraged a
postmodernist aesthetic that celebrates difference, ephemerality, spectacle,
fashion, and the commodification of cultural forms" (156). Additional wellcompensated service jobs have been created by new information industries
that meet the increasing need for data to coordinate decentered operations
as well as provide up-to-date analyses of market trends and possibilities. In
flexible accumulation, markets are as much created as they are identified
and so "control over information flow and over the vehicles for propagation

of public taste and culture have likewise become vital weapons in

competitive struggle" (Harvey 1989, 160) (Berlin, 2003).
After pasting this paragraph at the Readability-Score.com website, the
result shows that the Flesch-Kincaid Reading Ease is 19.1, which is low, and
the average grade level is 17.6, which is a high level to public readers. This
data indicates that this text is not easy for the public to read. People who can
understand the text totally or at least mainly, are required to achieve the
educational level at least at 17.6 grade. Even though characters in per word
are 5.6, words at per sentence is 25.6! Those are such long sentences. Why
are the sentences so long? Lets look at them closely. At the first and second
sentences, prepositional phrases are widely used also, for example, One of
the most of the number of jobs in and the in the .... Here are
eight prepositional phrases, which make these sentences longer. The second
sentence uses coordination. And connects the first part and the second
part into one sentence. Whats more, fall and offer share the same
subject the vast majority of latter, which is parataxis that clauses are
equally emphasized. For another example, the subject One of the most
obvious features of the employment picture today is very long and is
embellished by many words by using prepositions. This is euphemistic,
verbose and slow sentence opening that are three of the features of official
style.
Lets look at this sentence: The result is the growth of wellcompensated worker almost exclusively educated workers in the business of

producing the artifices of need inducement: advertising, public relations, and

the like. It is also verbose. Is the growth of is prepositional phrase as
adjective of worker. Well-compensated is a combination of two words to
be an adjective to describe what kind of worker; here Well-compensated,
compensate has to be past participle in this form. Advertising, public
relations, and the like is kind of like Asyndeton, consisting of omitting
conjunctions and gives the effect of unpremeditated multiplicity. This
sentence: celebrates difference, ephemerality, spectacle, fashion, and the
commodification of cultural forms also has this kind of effect.
I would like to analyze the last sentence. In flexible accumulation,
markets are as much created as they are identified and so "control over
information flow and over the vehicles for propagation of public taste and
culture have likewise become vital weapons in competitive struggle. In
flexible accumulation- a prepositional phrase - appears again. According to
the readability test, Flesch-Kincaid Reading Ease is pretty low, only 6.9, much
lower than that of the whole paragraph. The Average Grade Level is 20, also
higher than that of the whole paragraph. The words per sentence is 37! This
might be very hard for most readers even college students. Markets are as
much created is passive voice, which shows the official style again. Looking
at the whole sentence roughly, we can see there are three and
coordinating different short sentences. The strategy used here is what we
call Polysyndeton that is opposite to Asyndeton, but it also demonstrates the
effect of multiplicity, energetic enumeration, and building up. Besides and,

lets look at this sentence closely, and then we will see these prepositions:
in.asasoverforofin and thats why this sentence is long,
shapeless and unreadable.
In conclusion, this is a classical professional and academic article. We
can definitely call it official style. According to readability test, Flesch-Kincaid
Reading Ease is low and Average Grade Level is high. With my analysis of
several sentences in details, the sentences are long and complex. Most
strategies that belong to official style can be found here, such as passive
voice, complex sentences, slow sentence opening, euphemistic etc. The
author shows his credibility successfully. Because he is able to use such
complex academic language, readers are more likely to give credibility to his
ideas and claims. The text is probably speaking to insiders because of
complex and uneasy sentences that English professors and scholars in the
discipline of rhetoric can understand better than the average reader. English
major students start to understand, but arent quite there yet. Their
educated level does not achieve the level which give them ability to
understand the discipline of rhetoric. They need their instructors help to lead
them into the professional field of English study. Therefore, compared to
other majors undergraduate students, they may understand better, but not
as good as their instructors or scholars.

However, since this text is an

academic article, why did the author use we and I in his writing? (You
might not see them because I didnt put them in my essay. You can find it in
the whole text according to my reference page.) What did he mean we?

Was he talking to those people who are in the English study field or to the
general public? We and I make text like conversation. Therefore, even
though the text is official style, it is not a very restricted official style. I think
what is still needed to be known is why Berlin did this, and what the effect of
it is. We all could think about it.

Reference
James A. Berlin. Rhetorics, Poetics, and Cultures Refiguring College English
Studies published. West Lafayette, Indiana: Parlor Press, 2003. Print.