Narrative Essay Rubric

Ideas & Content

31B

on o
lear and
efinite.
Effective and appropri
etails create a vivid pi

owing knowledge and

x6
-F

h (uncommon)

-Focus on topic is clear

-Sufficient details create a
picture showing some
knowledge and insight.
-Fresh (uncommon)
approach adds to the

I reader's understanding.

ap oach to topic holds thd

read s attention.

Organization

x6

Voice

-Memorable 1
uction and
conclusion are clearly linked
(may be explicit or implicit
connection) and establish
focus.
I -Sequencing of details is
effective and logical
(chronological).
-Transitions effectively tie
the ideas of the paper
ether.

Word Choice

x3

-S quencingofdetailsis

-Writer's

expressed; confiden and

feeling are app
I
-Individual, pow

fee

topic is

obvious,

-Connection toau ience and

purpose isexcelle t.
-Writing evokes s g
emotion in thereader.
-Precise, vivid natural
language creates a clear and

complete.picture in the
reader's mind.
-Powerful verbs, precise
nouns, appropriate
adjectives and phrases

enhance meaning.
-Original phrasing and memorable
thought
language prompt reflective
and insights.

-Dialogue sounds natural.

defined
-UnderdeVeloped details
show little knowledge and
are too general to createa
picture.
-Fresh approach to topic is
attempted yet lacks support
which will aid the reader's
understandin
-Introduction and conclusion
attempt to establish focus.
-Sequencing of details is
limited.
-Transitions are limited;

-Focus 00 topic isnot clearly

definedl
-Limited Ordisconnected
detailsShow laCkof
understanding and sidetrack
.the reader.
-Approach is corniOn,.

-Focus is notcvident
VNo details used.
-Approach is
inappropriate.

-Introduction and/or
concluSion lack focus.
-Sequencing of details is not
clear.
-Transitions are not evident

Introduction and/Or
Conclusion are

pokes

ugh confidenCe and

g fade in and out.

-Aco mitmentto the topic

nt.
is ap
-Conn on to audience and
purpo e is appropriate.
-The ting evokes some
em on in the reader.

-Writer's personality is
undefined; writing is
cautious.
-Commitment to topic is
limited'
-Connection to audienCCand
purpose is limited-Writing evokes limited
emotion in the reader

-Ordinary word choice

-Corr adequa word
ch ce creates a cl picture attempts to create a picture,

he reader's mind.

in the reader's mind.

velyverbs, specific uns, Verbs, nouns, adjectives,

d appropriate adjectiv s
d phrases add to the

ning.
-S e colorful language and
un ual phrasing encourage
refl tion.

-Dial

ro

ue sounds

te.

and phrases are adequate.

-Language choice and
phrasing lack inspiration.
-Dialogue sounds forced.

incomplete;
-No Sequence ofdetailS is

evident
-Transitions: are not
evident.

10 cal.
T itions attempt to tie
id
of the paper together

-The writer's personar -IS

commitment to

x4

-Effec
tn
tion and
linked
con usion are cl
(m y be explicit or im icit)
establish focus.

-Focus on topic is somewhat

-Writer's personalityis not

evident.
-Commitment to topic is
lacking.
-Connection to audience and
purpose is lacking.
-Writing evokes minimal
emotion in reader.

-Limited vocabulary searches

forwords to Create a picture
inthe reader'S mind-Verb and noun choice is

rather general. Adjectives

and phrases lack definition.
-Language choice and"
phrasing is inappropriate,
repetitiveor lacks meaningy
-Dialogue islimited..

-No personality is evident.

-Writer does not establish.
a commitment to topiC.
2Connectionto audience
and purpose is not'
evident.

Writing evokes no
emotionin readev

-Vocabulary is weak and

underdevelOped.
-Verb, nourv and adjective
arid.phrases.are -vague and
lifeless.

-Languagechoiceis.
awkwardand
Dialogue is used
incorrectly:

Sentence Flucno

ntence

vthm Shen read k.o

Conventions

standard '

caddbi'

:ven on more iltiicui

format not
evident.

Presentation

-No rough drafts areucec-l -No peer edit checklists are

checklist

COMMENTS:

Were

You

ng to

Final
Oh'

Well

do

you

acco

Cruz 1
Jillian Rose Cruz
English

11 1

Personal Narrative
9 October 2015

co
The End

My therapist sat across from me. She gave me a concerned look then retrieved a gray
b ok with pages tabbed with sticky notes. She
flipped to a page with a bolded "Major Depressive
Disorder" across the top. Turning the book to me, she questioned, "Have you heard of this

before?"
"Of course," I replied, knowing exactly what I've been dealing with for two years. I
stared at the page as she pointed out a box titled "Signs and Symptoms." In my head, I checked

off those that applied to me. Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness - all
certainly true. She proceeded to explain how I fit the descriptions all too well. I wanted to tell her
that I already knew what she was talking about; I really just needed her to explain to my parents
that I was something more than just "sa ' To them, the solution was as simple as changing my

Theydidn'tunderstand.
thoughts.

people scwibcd
+veve dc

At the end of the session, my therapist asked my mother how she

-Eh Is coell
about my

situation. I sat there staring at the ground, wishing I was anywhere else in the world, as my
mother confessed how terrible she felt for not noticing something was wrong with me. "It 's not
your fault, mom" I thought to myself. When I saw the tears in her eyes, I instantly felt my heart

break into a million pieces, yet at that moment I couldn't speak up, which is the reason we ended
up here after all these years.

Weeks passe an the state of my mental health hadn't changed. The worst part was
knovung that I let something so curable keep me down for so long. I decided that had if J wanted
to chan e I ad to ask myself why I hadn't spoken up for two years when I had so many people
around me that would be willing to listen, and then I realized that no one ever talks about mental
health. So I set out to change that.
an upcoming research proJect at school, I decided it was the perfect time to start

my therapist as part

making a change and to use the project as an advantage, I even

of the process and asked v,hy she thought PfQsocial stigmas against depression exist.
"Why do you think depression has such negative social stigmas')

"People don't understa d a

persons being I

the belm lor symptoms are confusing, such as depressed

they're really not."

She smiled because this was the first time she saw me
many

to get better. I knew that

felt the way I did, who-were just too scared or ashamed to admit that

something was wrong. This fact fueled me to pursue the end of the social stigmas that hindered
many from seeking help. I couldn't live with myself if I let people feel the same terrible things I

was all too familiar ith

"Depression is unique and can be different for every person. I v,ant to talk about it; I Viish
more would, too," my therapist explained.
"Do you think there is any chance to eradicate the social stigmas of depression?"
"I hope so. I hate the medical commercials for hovs they portray mental illness. but I like

that they are at least talking about it."

Over the next few weeks, I stayed up late researching and

videos of speakers

vThomI shared the goal of trying to shed light on the topic of mental health. The key was to

Cruz

educate people, to help

them to understand

mental illness SVhenthe urnc camc to present. I

stood behind the

podium uith the clicker In one hand, my notes tn the other-

Stigmas

Depression" shone brightly on

the title slide to my left. I asked the crowd before mc.
heard of this before?" Perhaps
it was my background tn health sciences or my recent
class. but I felt a drive to stop Sitting
on my ass and make changes. Koctal stigmas affect
multitudes of people. I sought to be a solution

you