Professional Documents
Culture Documents
English 101
M.McCampbell
7 December 2015
Anthony You offer some good general solutions to an important problem,and you also show
how important the problem. Your wording often is powerful, and you keep the reader in touch
the the significane of the issue. The weakness of your proposal is the nuts and bolts who is
going to take on the initiative and who is going to be responsible? Whats it going to cost? We
need to know this to put a plan into action.
Childhood Obesity 103/130
Childhood obesity is both a national and international crisis that has increased over few
years (S. Karnik & A. Kanekar) causing many health issues for the younger generation. Obesity
in children is caused by the imbalance between calorie intake and calories utilized (S. Karnik
& A. Kanekar), but other factors can have an impact as well such as genetic, behavioral, and
environmental (S. Karnik & A. Kanekar), meaning some children genetically have a harder time
losing weight whether it is a medical conditions, or something else, some children have no
discipline when it comes to eating proper foods, which is a behavioral issue, and some children
grow up in an environment where they are either fed too much or given foods that are unhealthy
for them. Even though childhood obesity is a mass problem, I believe a solution can be
implemented by selling healthier foods in the stores, putting physical activities back in childrens
daily schedules, and teaching the importance of a healthy diet.
All of the suggested solutions; stores selling healthier foods, putting physical activities
back in childrens daily schedules, and teaching the importance of a healthy diet can help reduce
or even end childhood obesity, but doing this will become a commitment for not only the
children but society too. It will take a group effort from parents, schools, food manufacturers,
and children to make childhood obesity become a thing of the past as changes to the social and
physical environments that make peoples default choices healthy ones have the next-greatest
potential impact (T. Frieden), meaning without one groups help there will always be obesity
among the youth. Childhood obesity is not something that should be taken lightly or ignored. It
would not cost much to make the suggested changes to reduce the chances of children becoming
obese. There will be negative costs if nothing is changed though, as obesity can not only cause
lasting effects on self-esteem (Department of Family and Community Health), but also cause
health issues such as risk of cardiovascular disease (Department of Family and Community
Health) or as I know from personal experience type-2 diabetes. These health issues can and will
kill children.
Selling healthier foods in markets can become a big start for the decrease in childrens
obesity. If less junk foods were sold with unhealthy ingredients there would be less changes of
children digesting the foods that can potentially cause harm to them. In order for the foods that
are healthy to be eaten it would also be a good idea if food that where healthy tasted and where
advertised better to look more appealing. When you look on the television a majority of the foods
that are advertised are pizza, chocolate, cookies, honey-buns, or sweets that will make your
mouth want to water. Since children are in front of the television watching shows or playing
video games it may probably give them a better chance of viewing these commercials. This is
when we can use counteradvertising that shows the true impact of nutritionally harmful food
and beverages ( T. Frieden), because it will detour the childrens thoughts of eating what is
unhealthy, and help go buy the good healthy products that are sold in the markets.
Proper advertising, and availability of healthy foods still may not be enough for some
children not to want to eat those unhealthy food choices. This is when it all comes down to
discipline. If children could have physical activities put back into their daily life schedule it
could teach them discipline to stay healthy. Child should all participate in activities, but youth
ages 6 19 should get sixty minutes of moderate-to-vigorous activity daily (Thomas R.
Frieden), but unfortunately two-thirds do not reach this recommendation (Thomas R. Frieden)
which can also have really unhealthy impacts as stated before. Without discipline nothing will
change because every person needs discipline to make them do what is right, even if they really
would like to do something else.
Last but not least is teaching children about the importance of a healthy diet. Without
teaching there will not be any understanding of why certain foods are not healthy or helpful to
the youths body. If schools could talk about the importance of taking care of the body just as
much as they focus on getting the message across about safe sex, and diseases, things could be
better as they are then increasing exposure and access to healthy food and reducing exposure
and access to unhealthy items (T. Frieden), giving educated options, and experience.
I believe that these solutions will help reduce the percentage of childhood obesity, as it
gives the proper education, and information to give children a better chance of better and
healthier food choices. It will not cost much or anything at all to make these changes and it is
bound to better children on how much they eat, and what they eat. The benefits are saving the
lives of children and making the next generation a healthier generation.
Work Cite
Thomas, Frieden. Childhood Obesity: A Global Public Health Crisis. International Journal of
Preventive Medicine. Medknow Publications. (2012): Web. 6 December 2015.
S. Karnik & A. Kanekar. Journal Article Review. Europe PubMed Central. (1999)
Web. 6 December 2015.
ENGL 101
M. McCampbell
Fall 2015
ESSAY 4 - PROPOSAL
SCORING RUBRIC
Topic
Meets C standard
8 - 12 points
Introduction
Exceeds C paper
13 15 POINTS
States the problem;
0 15 points
vague reference to
clear background;
>14
solution.
Good,powerfu
/what is affected;
l beginning.
comments about
available initiatives;
situation or a worth
enterprise.
audience.
0 4 points
Identifies the
5 7 points
Thesis
8 10 points
Cites reasons for the
0 10
solution; flat
solution.
points>7
solution.
Analyze
0 7 points
Flat statement of
13 15 POINTS
Provides several
solution and
specific
how to
address problem
examples/statistics/detai
implement it
verifiable statistic or
0 15
affected group
points>11
Your solution
the process of
Gives specific
ideas are
implementation.
examples/evidence of
strong, and
you show
benefits, but
the
implementation
implementati
Clearly explains
implementation, cost,
on is weak.
Who is going
relevant detail.
to do this?
Who will take
responsibility
?
0 7 points
Reports on
8 - 12 points
Evaluate the
13 15 POINTS
Comments on the
solution
outcomes
0 15
Not
solution
points>10
recommendation
specific evidence
weak
comments on
Comments on the
of
practicality or or the
practicality/feasibility of the
feasibility/practicality
feasibility.
feasibility/practicali
implementation
of the solution
ty
Gives specific
evidence.
details/examples.
0 2 point
3 4 points
5 points
Conclusion
Flatly summary of
0 5 points>3
problem, solution,
and whether is it
acceptable or not.
Brings up a new
subject.
address it.
In-Text Citations
0 4 points
Material is not cited
5 7 points
Most material is
8 10 points
All material is correctly
correctly or
correctly and
appropriately at least
appropriately cited;
without errors
3 4 points
Three sources are
5 points
All work cited entries
haphazardly followed;
are correct.
sources
alphabetized; uses
Quality of sources
alphabetized
Sources are relevant
0 -5 points>4
questionable credibility
Paragraph Structure
0 4 points
One or two topic
8 10 points
Topic sentences are
0 -10 points>10
sentences missing;
sentences;
Paragraphs clearly
Coherence
related to thesis
Paragraphs arranged
supporting material
Transitions move ideas
0 -10 points>10
to topic;
in logical order;
clearly throughout
essay;
development
Abrupt changes;
Employs transitions
other to emphasize
Diction
Wording is vague;
when necessary
Uses appropriate
thesis
Writers voice is clear
pronouns;
and authoritative;
personal pronouns.
Avoids redundant
Grammatical
wording;
conventions are
infracted;
Wording is concise
TOTAL POINTS___>_________/130