Sammi Updegraf

English 111
Vandermey
12/14/15
The Adventures of a Single Parent
Throughout the years, the rates of parenthood in the younger generations
have steadily risen. Society in itself has dramatically changed. Women are now a
prominent feature within the workforce, not just in the kitchen and rearing children.
The world is changing, and with that comes not only new expectations, but new
obstacles as well.
As an adult, I realize that I am juggling three full-time jobs. I am a single
mother, a college student, and a full-time employee working a minimum of 35 hours
a week. Thats definitely a sizable workload for one just one person. It has proven to
be an extremely challenging task, trying to balance these three jobs. Although I
realize that I am not the first person to climb this mountain, to endure this struggle,
it undeniably has its highs and lows. Although these three jobs seem to be
completely unrelated, Im finding that they are, fundamentally, the same. Each has
its own list of tasks, goals, milestones, etc.
In todays world, its almost impossible to earn a decent living without a
degree from a higher education institution. There just arent very many alternatives.
Sure, theres vocational and trade schools, but those are almost always very job
specific. If your interests do not apply to that job field, then that vocational degree,
honestly, will do you no good.
Theres also the military to consider. Go to another country trying to defend
your own, then come back home and what? Military salaries are not as impressive
as one might like you to believe. Other than those two alternatives the only other
option is to either marry into money, where you have no financial worries at all, or
try to make ends meet with one or more minimum wage, entrance level jobs.

Updegraf 1

Sammi Updegraf
English 111
Vandermey
12/14/15
With this bleak outlook on life as a whole, it is easy for adult learners to
become completely overwhelmed and sometimes even obsessed with obtaining a
college degree. They are put through classes that they arent even sure how and if
it pertains to their field. Theres not too much information easily accessible about
any of the formerly mentioned alternatives for people to make an educated decision
on which path they want to take their lives. In the words of David Zinczenko,
Complicating the lack of alternatives is the lack of information about what, exactly,
were consuming. For me, that seems to imply that it is easy for students to get
caught up in the flow of college and take unnecessary classes. As a parent, this is
a critical part of the college life that I want no part of. Every credit hour is a
precious time slot in a hectic schedule.
There are definitely times when I think that colleges should do something a
little more interactive with their students. Even if it was just a quick poll (much like
the one that was sent out at the end of this semester for teacher evaluations)
asking students opinions on how to make the material a little bit more interesting.
Its not a tragedy to try to incorporate a few nonacademic interests into the subject
matter, especially if it is a common interests (from said polls). Gerald Graf had a
similar insight and argued, If I am right, then schools and colleges are missing an
opportunity when they do not encourage students to take their nonacademic
interests as objects of academic study. My favorite courses are always the ones
that the educators are interactive and able to think outside the book, so to speak,
and tie their material into real life struggles that I can relate to.
There are a lot of times when I feel as though the educators perspective on
goals and objectives difer quite drastically from that of the learners. As Jack
Mezirow clearly claims, The learners immediate objectives may be described in
Updegraf 2

Sammi Updegraf
English 111
Vandermey
12/14/15
terms of subject matter mastery, attainment of specific competencies, or other jobrelated objectives, but his or her goal is to become a socially responsible
autonomous thinker. If were being completely honest, that was not one of my
goals from this class. It was, however, a wonderful byproduct of taking this class. I
am actually feeling like I am transforming into a much better writer, at least
academically, than I was in the beginning of this course, even though that was not
my original goal. All-in-all this class was just another checkmark on a long list of
classes to earn a degree.
Unfortunately many people are feeling the financial restraints present in
todays economy. This limitation often drives people to seek out realistic majors,
instead of something they truly have a passion about. I agree wholly with what
Barbara Ehrenreich spoke about when she stated, They earned higher degrees,
often setting aside their youthful passion for philosophy or music to sufer through
dull practical majors like management or finance. In some cases, they were high
achievers who ran into trouble precisely because they had risen far enough in the
company for their salaries to look like a tempting cost cut.
With that type of outlook, or even just hearing about it happening more and
more frequently in corporate America is truly disheartening for students, especially
those who have more obligations than just school. I myself has questioned a time or
two as to what the point was when all you hear about is jobs going overseas and all
of these unemployed people with great degrees under their belts. After truly
thinking about this question, I realized that my motivation was a better life for me
and my child, and having my family be proud of me for my accomplishments.
That seems to be a very fickle thing, the approval of others. I have spent a
great deal of my life trying to gain that, from my friends, my family, even a new
Updegraf 3

Sammi Updegraf
English 111
Vandermey
12/14/15
boss or coworker. That was actually, for me at least, one of the biggest stress
factors this semester. Its very hard to think of something as achievable when it
seems to be on this proverbial pedestal by the loved ones in your life, especially
when you are feeling discouraged. It is very easy, and sometimes second nature, for
people to find something bad within the good things. I was really touched by the
words of Flannery OConnor, which read, What she meant when she said she had
won was that she had brought him up successfully and had sent him to college and
that he had turned out so wellgood looking (her teeth had gone unfilled so that his
could be straightened), intelligent (he realized he was too intelligent to be a
success), and with a future ahead of him (there was of course no future ahead of
him). Every time I read this quote I can see the double-edged sword it presents. As
a parent, I can completely understand the sacrifice of things so your children can
have better lives. As a human being, there have been times where I can find
something bad no matter what. I do not agree with that definition of winning, but I
can see the appeal.
Now, the tricky part in all of these perplexing choices about school, especially
as a parent, is that higher education truly is not your main focus. Although it is an
inevitable necessity in society today, your children will always come first, their
health and well-being. That being said, school still does not become important at
this time. After your children, your main focus is your job(s). Without that income,
you risk your childrens health and well-being.
So after you have made sure your children are fed, clothed, healthy, and
happy; your employers satisfied with your hours, your workload, and your
performance; THEN you think about classes, homework, and presentations that are
due the next morning. Using a normal 2-10 job, for example, a typical day might
Updegraf 4

Sammi Updegraf
English 111
Vandermey
12/14/15
look something like this: Wake up with the child(ren) around 6:30am, get them up,
dressed, fed, and ready for either school or daycare. After making sure they are
ready for their day, then you do a quick run-through for yourself; hair, teeth, contact
lenses, clean clothing (assuming you had time for laundry the night before), and out
the door you go. Once the child(ren) are at daycare (or school), you go straight to
your first class of the day, which starts at 10am on the dot. After 2 classes bac-toback, you are out of class for the day by 1pm. Scrambling to get some semblance of
a meal in you, you make it to work at 1:55pm, and are on the clock by 2pm. Roughly
eight hours later you clock out around 10:15pm. A 20-minute drive lets you arrive
home by 10:40pm. After a quick reheat of whatever leftovers are in the fridge, you
sit down and begin your course studies for the evening, usually lasting into the early
hours, before you walk into the bedroom and fall asleep somewhere between
1:30am and 2am. Now this seems like a great, rigid schedule, but we all know how
life can happen at any given moment and ruin that nice, neat routine. People get
sick, you run into scheduling conflicts, etc.
So how does one learn to integrate each of these separate elements to be
coherent within their lives? Each person is diferent, and it pretty much just boils
down to experience, trial and error if you will. In the words of Theodore Sizer, One
certainly doesnt learn these things merely from lectures and textbooks. That was
definitely a huge lesson for me personally this semester. I didnt know how to
peacefully integrate each aspect of my life, how to balance my many roles.
There will always obstacles in life, whether you let them better you or
discourage you is your choice. I will leave you with the words of Barry Alford, to
which I hold full value and belief in, critical literacy grows out of the experiences
of those who develop and express it, and, like all things authentic and meaningful, it
Updegraf 5

Sammi Updegraf
English 111
Vandermey
12/14/15
is well worth the mess and inconvenience. Theres always a downhill on a
mountain, you just have to push through long enough to reach the cusp.

Updegraf 6

Sammi Updegraf
English 111
Vandermey
12/14/15

Works Cited
Alford, Barry. "Freirean Voices, Student Choices." Exploring Relationships:
Globalization and Learning in the 21st Century. Pearson Learning Solutions,
2013. 279-282. Print.
Ehrenreich, Barbara. "The (Futile) Pursuit of the American Dream." Graf, Gerald and
Cathy Birkenstein,. "They Say/I Say" The Moves That Matter in Academic
Writing. New York; London: W. W. Norton & Company, 2014. 260-271. Print.
Graf, Gerald. "Hidden Intellectualism." Graf, Gerald and Cathy Birkenstein,. "They
Say/I Say" The Moves That Matter in Academic Writing. New York; London: W.
W. Norton & Company, 2014. 244-251. Print.
Mezirow, Jack. "Transformative Learning: Theory to Practice." Exploring Relations:
Globalization and Learning in the 21st Century. Pearson Learning Solutions,
2013. 268-274. Print.
O'Connor, Flannery. "Everything That Rises Must Converge." Graf, Gerald and Cathy
Birkenstein. "They Say/I Say" The Moves That Matter in Academic Writing.
New York; London: W. W. Norton & Company, 2014. 272-291. Print.
Sizer, Theodore. "What High School Is." Exploring Relations: Globalization and
Learning in the 21st Century. Pearson Learning Solutions, 2013. 259-267.
Print.
Zinczenko, David. "Don't Blame the Eater." Graf, Gerald and Cathy Birkenstein,.
"They Say/I Say" The Moves That Matter in Academic Writing. New York;
London: W. W. Norton & Company, 2014. 241-243. Print.

Updegraf 7

Sammi Updegraf
English 111
Vandermey
12/14/15
Critical Reflection
Im not entirely sure how to start this of, so here I go. This multisource paper
was a lot harder for me than the first one. The first one was very organized, and the
sources were straight from the book. It was almost like an appetizer for this paper.
Although all of my sources are still from the books for this course, I spent quite a bit
of time trying to find articles from outside, online sources.
One of the hardest things about this multisource paper was that I switched
my topic about halfway through the assignment. I had an extremely difficult time
finding ANY sources for my first topic, which was whether or not colleges should
provide daycare. I ended up switching to something a little more personal for me as
a student. This paper is more about the integration of diferent aspects of life into
one cohesive arrangement.
Making this switch was a tough decision for me, especially so late into the
assignment, but Jim agreed with me when I approached him about it. I think that
overall I did the right thing by switching, although it almost doubled my workload.
This new topic was easier to find sources for.
I had a lot of fun writing this and digging a little deeper into my issues. This
paper was very personal for me, as it pertains to some of my own struggles. I am
still undecided as to whether or not my personal stake in this paper was an asset or
a drawback as far as my level of writing. I feel as though it may have been both. I
was passionate about this topic, which is always a good thing in my mind. I never
want to write anything dull or lifeless, something lacking that fire.
But at the same time, I think that maybe my emotions may have taken away
from the writings as well. I love this paper and I loved writing it, but it kind of turned

Updegraf 8

Sammi Updegraf
English 111
Vandermey
12/14/15
out sounding more inspirational than anything, which was obviously not my
intention.
I couldnt find much on Google while searching for outside sources, so I
turned to my reading materials for the class. I read some new articles within the
textbooks and was able to piece them into my article efficiently, in my opinion. Im
not sure if I was able to get that conversation fully going or not though. I was able
to introduce my ideas and use my quotes to support them.
This paper was pretty difficult for me to sort out my ideas and to figure out
which order I wanted to put them in. There may be parts that dont Segway very
well, hopefully it is only a minute problem that can be easily rectified.
After receiving the feedback I did from the English Department, I made a few
changes. I didnt really change the format or delete anything, I just added a few
things that I thought enhanced this paper. This is still one of my favorite writing
assignments of this semester, and I enjoyed myself while writing it.

Updegraf 9