LISTENING

DEFINITIONS

Hearing

Sound waves transmitted to the brain

Listening

Reconstructs the original sound and gives them

meaning

Mindless

Mindful

DEFINITIONS CONT.

Mindless Listening

react automatically and routinely

potentially valuable

Mindful Listening

careful and thoughtful attention

LISTENING PROCESS: 5 ELEMENTS

Hearing

Attending

Understanding

Responding

Remembering

HEARING
Physiological

dimension of

listening
Can

be affected by auditory
fatigue
Loud

Can

party, concerts, etc

be difficult as a result of
physiological problems

ATTENDING

Psychological process of selection

needs, wants, desires, interests

Would go crazy if we attempted to

attend to all messages

Attending also helps the message

sender

UNDERSTANDING

When we make sense of a message

Possible to hear/attend without

understanding

Listening Fidelity

The degree of congruence between what a

listener understands and what the message
sender is attempting to communicate

RESPONDING
Giving

observable feedback to
the speaker

Good

listeners show they are

attentive by nonverbal
behaviors

Verbal

behavior also
demonstrates attention

REMEMBERING

The ability to recall information

Research suggests

We remember 50% immediately

after hearing it

Residual message

What we remember from the

original message

LISTENING CHALLENGES: INEFFECTIVE LISTENING

Pseudo-listening

The imitation of the listening process

Can take more effort than simply tuning out

Stage-Hogging

Turn the conversation to themselves

Sometimes called conversational narcissists

Selective Listening

Only responds to the parts of your message that interest

them

Can be legitimate

LISTENING CHALLENGES: INEFFECTIVE LISTENING

Insulated Listening

Defensive Listening

Take others remarks as personal attacks

Ambushing

Failing to acknowledge information the listener would rather

not deal with

Listening carefully to collect information to use in an attack

later

Insensitive Listening

Responding to the superficial content of the message and not

the emotional tone

WHY WE DONT LISTEN BETTER?

Message Overload

Preoccupation

Rapid Thought

We can comprehend up to 600 words per minute

The average person speaks between 100 150

Effort

Listening is hard work

WHY WE DONT LISTEN BETTER?

External Noise

Faulty Assumptions

We often believe we are listening when were not

Lack of Apparent Advantages

It often seems that there is more to gain by

speaking

Listening is reciprocal, so you get what you give

WHY WE DONT LISTEN BETTER?

Lack of Training

Listening is hard work and requires practice

The common belief is that listening is like

breathing

Hearing problems

Sometimes a person suffers from a

physiological hearing problem

MEETING THE CHALLENGE OF LISTENING

Talk less

Get rid of distractions

Dont judge prematurely

Look for key ideas

TYPES OF LISTENING
RESPONSES

TYPES OF LISTENING RESPONSES

Prompting

Using silences and brief statements of encouragement to

draw others out

Questioning

Asking for information can help both parties

3 benefits:

fill in the facts and details

learn others thoughts and feelings

tool for one who answers; encourage self-discovery

SINCERE VERSUS COUNTERFEIT QUESTIONS

Sincere Questions

Aimed at understanding others

Counterfeit Questions

Questions that trap a speaker

Tag question

Questions that make statements

Questions that carry hidden agendas

Questions that seek correct answers

Questions based on assumptions

TYPES OF LISTENING RESPONSES

Paraphrasing

Statements that reword the listener's interpretation of a

message

Can be tool for helping others

Shows your involvement and concern

Wont always be accurate

Gives the other person a chance to make a correction

TYPES OF LISTENING RESPONSES

Supporting

Reveals a listeners solidarity with the speakers situation

Several types of support:

Empathizing

Agreement

Offers to help

Praise

Reassurance

SUPPORT: COLD COMFORT

Deny others the right to their feelings

Minimize the significance of the situation

Focus on then and there rather than here and now

Cast judgment

Focus on yourself

Defend yourself

TYPES OF LISTENING RESPONSES

Analyzing

Offering an interpretation of the speakers message

Often effective ways to help people with problems consider

alternatives.

Two potential problems:

1.interpretation not accurate
2.not useful to problem holder, may arouse defensiveness

TYPES OF LISTENING RESPONSES

Advising

Offering help or potential solutions

Several guidelines to follow:

Is advice needed?

Is advice wanted?

Is the advice given in the right sequence?

Is the advice coming from an expert?

Is the advisor a close and trusted person?

Is the advice offered in a sensitive, face-saving manner?

TYPES OF LISTENING RESPONSES

Judging

Responses that evaluate the senders thoughts or behaviors

in some way

Judgments have the best chance of being received when

two conditions exist:
1.The person with the problem should have requested an
evaluation from you
2.The intent of your judgment should be genuinely
constructive and not designed as a put-down

CHOOSING THE BEST LISTENING RESPONSE

Gender

The situation

People are not always looking for advice Sometimes it is better

to just listen

The other person

May use different response styles, but all need a supportive

endorsing messages

Always remember to whom you are speaking and adapt to the

audience

Your personal style

Play to your strengths Be aware of your weaknesses

JOURNAL SUGGESTIONS

Identify the circumstances in which you listen ineffectively,

and the poor listening habits you use in these circumstances.
Explain the outcome(s).

Identify the response styles that you commonly use when

listening to others. Explain the outcome(s). If it wasn't ideal,
what styles could you have used instead?