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THE PSYCHOLOGY OF FRIENDSHIP

Because friendship in games matters!

One of the fundamental contradictions of the human condition is that we are simultaneously
individuals and social beings.We typically strive to achieve our own needs and desires, often at
the expense of others yet, we cannot grow without others; we have built entire civilisations that
depend utterly on cooperation and exchange, and are most often happy in the companionship of
friends. We are both free and members of society, dispassionate observers of our surroundings
and passionate members of groups. We prize individual freedom, but also, community.
And just as we most often find happiness through others our partners and children, our friends
and the extended praise and approbation of the many so too the best and most affecting game
experiences we can have are those that involve others...

http://www.gamasutra.com/view/feature/134755/unsocial_social_games.php?print=1

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF FRIENDSHIP

Theres no formula for


friend-making
But there is certainly
psychological needs
required which, through
a better understanding of
these, we and players
might stand to gain from!

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF FRIENDSHIP

According to studies, four basic behaviours are required to


maintain friendship (whether were 17 or 70)

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200611/friendship-the-laws-attraction

SELFDISCLOSURE

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF FRIENDSHIP

SELF-DISCLOSURE

We must be willing to
extend ourselves and
share our lives with our
friends- to keep them
posted on whats going
on with us.

SUPPORTIVENESS
SUPPORT

Likewise, we need to
listen to them about
their lives and offer
support/ excitement
etc. where necessary.

OPENNESS
INTERACTION

The specific activity


doesnt matter the
important thing is to
interact [and keep on
doing so].

INTEREST
POSITIVITY

Self-disclosure is
important but the
intimacy shared must be
enjoyable.
The more we feel good
about it, the more were
willing to expend the
energy it takes to keep it
alive.

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF FRIENDSHIP

But how and why do friendships take root in the first


place?

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF FRIENDSHIP

Interaction

Selfdisclosure

Studies show that friends


are often those who
cross our paths with
regularity.

The transition from


[acquaintance to friend]
is typically characterised
by an increase in both
the breadth and depth
of self-disclosure.

We single people out via


common interests.

This starts as a
reciprocal process

Intimacy

Identity
support

The glue that binds us


I.e.,
Emotional
expressiveness,
Unconditional
support,
Acceptance,
Loyalty
Trust.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200611/friendship-the-laws-attraction

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF FRIENDSHIP

The glue that binds us


I.e.,
Emotional
expressiveness,
Unconditional
support,
Acceptance,
Loyalty
Trust.

According to research, compared to emotional benefits, a friend's utility pales- money


really can't buy love!
It is in fact giving- not receiving- that makes us value another individual as a friend
more.
Ben Franklin first observed the paradox, now called the Ben Franklin Effect:

"He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he
whom you yourself have obliged."
In short, material favours don't count for as much as emotional input where friends are
concerned.

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF FRIENDSHIP

For one example, take this classic study...

Participants won
contest money from a
researcher.

Later the researcher approached some of them


and explained hed actually used his own money
and had little left; could he have it back?

Not only did most say yes, but


those asked rated the researcher
higher than those not.

Psychologists concur that the phenomenon stems from a desire to reconcile feeling and action.
I.E. a desire to view our own instincts and investments as correct: why am I going out of my
way to help this guy? Well, he must be pretty nice I suppose. In short, our fondness for others
increases when they ask us for help and we agree to.

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF FRIENDSHIP

Interaction

Selfdisclosure

Studies show that friends


are often those who
cross our paths with
regularity.

The transition from


[acquaintance to friend]
is typically characterised
by an increase in both
the breadth and depth
of self-disclosure.

We single people out via


common interests.

This starts as a
reciprocal process

Intimacy

The glue that binds us


I.e.:
Emotional
expressiveness,
unconditional
support,
acceptance,
loyalty
and trust.

Identity
support

Best friends dont just


form from greater
intimacy.
I.S. is the way in which
a friend understands,
and then supports, our
sense of self in society or
the group.

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF FRIENDSHIP

Best friends dont just


form from greater
intimacy.
I.S. is the way in which
a friend understands,
and then supports, our
sense of self in society or
the group.

We become best friends with people who boost our self-esteem by affirming our
identities as members of certain groups, and its the same for both genders.
Our desire for I.S. is so strong, studies indicate, that it may even make a different for the
addicted. People with substance abuse problems were likelier to kick their habits after
three months when they had felt more conflict between drug use and their social roles
and sense of self.
We stick with people who support our social identity and withdraw from those who
dont. We may even switch friends when the old ones dont support our current view
of ourselves.

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF FRIENDSHIP

Studies also indicate that physical proximity has little effect on


the ability to keep a friendship in working order.
Which is great news for gaming!

DISCUSS : )

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