ewas “San Never Dien by Surv Gupta - Wong Let Home) / Forums (Worms) F Industry Specie Vferumv6a) / LBanking Bullpen (forunvinvestmentbanking) "A Son Never Dies" by Sunil Gupta - Moving Letter from a Father of an Ibanking Analyst "This etter as heen cite inthe DealBook here hp ww nytimes un /2015/06/02 business alban, (aup we. times cam/2015/6 02 usinss/écalbookreflotins-n-stress-and-lng-hours-an-wal-strcet hmref=dealbook) Lang read but definitely worth the time Unfortunately the etter hasbeen removed st quate here: 667A Son Never Dies By Sil Gupta "he nd Aprils 2015 ‘San Francisco International Airport {6 The x6 hour Might aera continents sea, mountains and ily over the Pete cna, landed at San Francisco airport, on asunay spring day ay snybody would pve islast penny’ toenjy, nthe grows Californian sping, ‘moved hurietly toward the acival bby, anxious, nervous and full of apprehension, ell me itis nt serio Taske shaking my son-ndaw vigorously ‘og bis shoulders and loking straight inthis eyes. Its eran," be paused, 'We have lst him.” ‘The word swirled, myheart thumped and thought, Lam going tie, Tserearedin utter dsheit, ‘My Son, dead?” My wie, just behind me, etched me from bind, aif we have not heard it carrey, thre must be some mistake, tcannotbe abot us, but ina ration af secnd, reality hit usar we both Dre intoteaes and slumped on the fae. ‘Our word had changed forever wt a void which will never be filed in ar ftime, we shall never be the same family an this pain thrust upon sina momen wil ease ony with our last breaths. “The Begining ‘The labor pains ated nearly twenty four hours, nd with no result insight, the ryaecologit who was my stool mate, came ut and asked me to sign permission todo caesarean operation. A whilelater, the paediatrician brought in besthing imp into the room, stil smeared inthe mther's blood, nd {rst him intomyhaeds, "held your so, be si. Hook stepbsek’ doctor, atleast wash him is Td Socamentothis worl, mys, the symbol of my tale chauvinism, the manifestation of my alter ego. My oy ws boundless, Life seemed like a reat, Good corporat ob in leading newspaper, decent bungalow nan upmarket south Delhi colony, cas above al awe chubby ol my nine year daughter. Life was too perfet.R appeared fe a nomere to give ane Thad nothing mare toscek ‘Tao"brat” was, dusky with ong tick yeashos that ould euse envy to any beauty pageant queen anywhere inthe wold. Te eyebrows were arched ard winged, the nate aqui, a pigntot reminder a hse arrogane, ‘Tae eile wold aot slept ght, and would emit the choses of oes. Iwonld walkfr hour within the hows with him amy armsryingto get im to sleep Finly, we found a way ot. The fur of us would goat for drive and hi sister would put pillow inher yang ap and woud try tomake him sleep, ke am experieneed granny wuld have dave. worked, mest the ine >My wife and woul take turns night to prepare his milk feed the proces tookan extra minute, (whieh t sometimes dd considering our lepy tate) ‘fe verhented the mil only tote and coo it dow by boing the bet under eunning water, the cid wad baller noend, making wsfeel panicky and ay ‘Our sul existence lasted exactly four months It wastoo goad tolast. My company by sinister and malicious desig, usurped l postions and I wasleft with majo, no security, nat much savings wulserable amy nd ny four month dso ta ‘Trent three months were the hardest. Wi no worktodo, nowhere og, Ista hme with my son in mylap and wate fr tings to happen. The family ‘ation was going dows, frugal meals were sustaiing us The eupharis of our ons arvval wa subsiding fast. was shocked and hur y the treatmest mete out tome by my employers/pertners that Thad let the courage or determination to fightback to mainstream ie Along wth me two my ose associates oo were veins of maltcatment. They resorted to alshal and went docpinto depression and despondenc. Consequently, they let fr their heavenly abodes lesving thet young, unattended fares tothe vagaries af mature and soi hapten vedseedgs uri sa reer le 9 xt gue nnn fees Tibes Elles of exiting suey 17ewas “San Never Dien by Surv Gupta - Wong Let | decide tofight on. My son, being the youngest and mot vulnerable, became my inepitatin, motivation and my driving ore. would gotoa nearby gym in ‘he morning, tke gular walks in the park. sometimes when seemed iponibe, would siti year, windows up, a eanditiane switeed off ad bx! the op of my vie, sweating and shivering, asking for an answer tomy life, The pan, anguish and desperation a times drove me to think about ending my if ‘Togel Use kitchen ite going, Inara manufesaring unit. Profesional experience snd taining helped me meet my familys nancial requirements -My-wnity, my eo, my sei-esteem bad akon low, but my spit, my doggedess wasnt, Asmy sa started the second yea, we enrolled hm in the neighbourhozd shod. got sei inslved iis pranks, his joys and bis wellbeing. would svehima bath each day, stand read ot to him. My regular and unrganied professional ie hada sve inng Thad abundant time for my son, and uring those days, be developed fondness fr printed words, which was ols il the very eed [Ashe grew upand ws enced in formal lite eho, my task ws a drop hin and ple him frm th bus top While we waite fr the bus to arn, ‘woe ead out rom general knowledge book and eneelopacdias to him. These wore great moments of togetherness. Myson would, atime, chastise me, for cemng to pic him in the afternoon, papa, do uot come inthe afternoan, everyune wil thinkyou do nat have ajo Duringibe afternoons, we woul rea tether, the books Fought femal over. Togetherness berg dose to him, admonish him, ving hie, were the reco moments, which tan exten, mle the las of my corporate ie ‘Our evenings were speci We would goto the neighbourhood parks and lay, onthe swings, in the grounds, runing and jumping From the beginning inculeatd inhi the spirit of xmpctition, of winning, of tenmvark ad above alte ned for physi fitness and sound mental an pial heath (ur fay’ fis out of station eliday was to pristine, quail andsver beached Gas, While ny daughter bad experienced ai travel before, for my son, it was novel experience. ‘Tae lush property, the peaceful serene beaches, the cool winds of January, but above al the warmth of she family toethernes, made a memorable Raiay Blessed ae the, who ge such quality, lf tines lgeter. And blessed were surly we. My son was nitly afeald a he waves and thee useing {teaity, But rad, he befriended the Arsbim sea, rt long the beaches st the dancing dipins, went doop into the sea on water scoters ad bad his fist tate of coon wate, “These who have ot cherished wl never fathom the depth ofthe pleasures fa complete family. My sm hada pivotal rele olay in gv ne that feling folfiment. Al ood things have to come toan end odour holidays, We returned, tanned stisted and blessed Asmy fe went back oa earpoate job, wasTessat home and more at work However, hardly a day would pass, (when Iwas not teaveling) without me reading out tohim at night, and then we wou embrace sleep, embracing eachother Hs gentle breathing, hissof flesh, hs stil baby body dour wasmy lias: On Suturdy evenings, the family wold surely go out. ‘Open Oven, was our avuurit joint at thet stage Cream rolls, muffins and soups were the caneted delicacies My son was growing up, and he wes gradually acquiring the qualities desired in mys, He was heen reader and I would get him books from allover. ‘Whether Itraelled tothe USA, the UK, South Africa rt Kerala, Gujrat, Mumba, would get books oa history, selene, lol allways, and culture got im biographies, elletions of short stories, ftions and books on general swrenes. would mark pages wit dates, a assignment fr hin. Me would read ‘hom a On my return, wo would bret discus them, Thase were our personal ence sessions, He was dbodient ad sinere. He always wanted oprve,” a, Hove yu (Our pastimes were great fam and mutually sting, Onthe terrace af or hose we played cricket inthe mornings on Saturdays and Suny These editions o "leping sui" rier were enjoyable and were flowed up by visto ncarby isk for my son's favourite cookie, "ile Hearts We would than sitina park onsitings or benches und enjoy oar feast, Noseven cars mel in the mat expensive Ritz anwhere inthis world can give more vale for money During the wock, we waited fr those mornings, simple but most enjoyable nd delectable, _As my song inthis preteons,Istarted tang hes to or sports clu, te isi Fort Clb, There intreduse Mito Squash, awe Tenis Table Tennis, ad Jogrng ass ambitious and enthusiastic that I wanted my sontolearn all these games, my effort to ensure that he dd netfee inadequate at any pint in ‘fo. He did boone the proverbial jackof ll tades We played togcter, and times, Iwould as to im, so that he gained self-confidence. Tis rase did not ast lon estate protesting ently paps please donot loose purpasy let me win. on my ow. That was my son ou to win on hs mer the way his father sorety desired, His swimming lessons wore asa His eas would touble im, nd he tarted avoiding swimming He dd make attempts periodical, totakeswinming lesson, bt ultimately abandoned her, From bisatl years my sn wae unlike rae in many respects, Tie gave me mite esting. While he was much higher in nelle, was meditative and patent, he lacked my dynamism, my ability Lorene out peopl, my contience (limes ordering to over coatience) and ay sbi toconnect with stranger. 1 observed these differences and brushed them aside, convincing myself that the postive qualities he had were more important olive and suceedin ifs, considering mine te superficial and superius ‘What lack foresght on my prt, how myopicand unpardonable it would timately prove toot fay, Thad! no ining 1 ten sid eat, "indi x meazt science" An important adage that reais itrue today. At tha stageToverlooked the most important aspect o his personality that woud inal ive ‘me pain and anguish forthe rest of my existence. ‘was preparing him for bigtime life, to winall wars and bates, but forgot tonal the hoo fis hors, "but forthe want oa shoe i ‘My son had the privlge of going tothe bes publiscoa in the national eaptal. He became an ae debater an ncsve writer witha natural fait fr pact, id aa the vice bead boy ofthe elit inltatin. was asf he wanted to prove toone andl thatthe persmaliy problems a hisear teens were a5 herration that neded immediate correction. Mislatr ten years wore full of confidence success and satisfaction, He excelled in academies, represented his sehoal ata member ofthe debating team in national and international forums, ad was the ensure ofthe sel fell. .otr young strapping teenage sen. ‘Te family oly, n those yeas, to Singapore, Anstrai, Malaysia and Gos, were enjoyable and entertaining fami et-togethors We anon the benches, we lateredin the shopping mals, went to game parks, and jumped into the Pacific Ocean at Great Brvcr Rect, australia. He dveloped dy sense of humour, and hisofthe-ul remarks, were momenta great jy, forthe family. He wal aise his eyebrows ad praes in mf voles, tomy sul and moras onverstions wth stewards, text drivers janitors or shopngassitants, His est carmen were, however, reserved fr my sense of dretion. Ofte, we would walkaround strange ets, loking or milestones, going toand fro. ‘woud nim indomitable sty, refase to cnslt «read map, or even ask for directions and we woul ed up ing round in circles. He xed a term forme, Aisorionted camps, and tld everyone, nt to fllow papa, but rather flaw him. He thereafter, armed hms with guide books nd roed maps nd became apie eset casas sa reer le 9 xt gue unig fees Tibew Elles of exiting suey Poewas “San Never Dien by Surv Gupta - Wong Let cour road guide. Ax everage,middle-dass, Indian cine, could ask for what more? A reat fal wife, daughter andsn, all healthy and able. Children going tothe best schools, ding exceedingly welln their academic and en-My wife, though reluctant to visit Bikaner ote, proud accompanied er soa oa bot the ocasions For amother, it wasa oy ar excellence, tobaskin the sory of er young son, Our son wuld often sy, hal in jest," do nol manage a decent job, at leat have ou chon tal bak up” He graduated in May 2015 fram Wharton. Asuck wuld have, we cond not attend is graduation ceremony, fr sone inconsequential reasons Hels did not encourage stomach to came ‘May, 2014, my wife reached Prasenton, Califorai, as our daughter ws tog us the priceless it fou first grande. Our sn, was already thee, cniingthe “golden perc af ry young man'slife, He wasa gaciate from an elie ele and had ob under hist, for he had hoon offered x poston in ‘he lvestment Banking division ofthe hallowed, Gold Sachs, in San Francisco. Conk there hve been higher pinnacles f happiness and success than this? Was beginning to consider myself as God? Had Twn tll? Who was between sme and ultimate svation on thisearth? ‘Well surely destiny was nughing at me, By pride, my arrogance, ay Ttad yous attitude was to et the fl from whieh I woud never reve. ‘The Golden Summer June, 2034 Peasentoa, California anda the SFO airport phot summer sun, in mid June (ur daughter was expecting her baby in the ast week of June. My on and wife were already there, Our daughter's hase was perfectly cated amidst mountain nese nd downtown Pleasanton, onthe athe. The city of Dublin was ust aeros the Hat sation, liked the pietaresque setting, ‘immediatly. Behind her home wa creck and pts, wit jogging racks, bike Lanes and step but inviting mountains. ‘My sn and ent for our first evening power walk. He, with alae, showed ne the besutl parks, jogging tracks and mounta range Allalong on day ne he tutored me onthe traffic and oad eukure ofthe cy. He cautioned me wher to cross, when stop, when to press the pedestrian rosing button and hen ot teu corners while erasing street, ‘Tokeep his high sis goin, purpxeyrefrane from reminding hin that Thad worked with Coa Cola ifr five year and visited the head fice in Alana numer times, ‘We walked and jogged challenging each the’ stamina, and watched in ication the acenic beauty. What an evening, my ist inthe USA, with hia, wa. ‘Wehad somuch cath p or; had sommuch tote me, Teould feel sense of confidence and satisfaction on his face, a confidence which eames, when You sronolongc borrowing money from your father, but infact, are ina postin to spend oa him. He wanted toby me eng shoes, branded tracksuits, up-aket shits and an Phone. Ip reminded hin but your fies salary yet tobe ereitd to ‘our aesunt He quipped, ‘Oh! Donot wortycbout that, Lam just makinga list of purchases have toma for you, mama sister and brother-in-law, otha | ‘plan ny expenses. Somuch fora green-horn Investment banker, inthe making. (Our days strtd with yeing tothe gym, ood four miles vey, While bicyeling inthe bike lane, either was in ronan woud turn back look how the ote person ws ding, the pets falling, would call, 'am fie, donot lookback, yo ng rip your alan’, We upd iontogethe, me, ‘enthusastieteacher ad hs, an avid learer. He knew and realized that god health the rst stepping stone ta dong the hard work tthe worklae. The ‘meticulous person that he was, he learned cach exerese minutely, the stance andthe inclination of the exerise benches, the weighs tobe carved the ‘umber of repetitions andthe schedule of aiing. Inthe early summer evenings whenit was sil bright sunlight, we wold ofr eying We wold ped daw tothe Pension Bart talon tak the elevators with ur ees, cross the overhead bridge and reach Dublin awatown, We would le fr hous, au favourite lotion wes the ike track, bythe apie eset casas sa reer le 9 xt gue unig fees Tibew Elles of exiting suey aewas “San Never Dien by Surv Gupta - Wong Let sie of the mountain ‘The carpanionship, the jy the fan was inexplicable. My young son ad, ling tgether, adit ate, naling the fet, pure a. Oeasanaly, we would stp for abeverage, a Starbucks, Our other favourite was, rit yh fram Dublin's Safeway Life wason al fe was ona high, ating eauld be better But coal be worse? Inthe evenings, we would have our games fess. He wot his brother-in-law interested inthe game to. Sowe were now thre, and by rotation, the winners ‘tinued to play. As the day of my daughter togiveus, ou ist grandehild drew clase, we topped going out o restaurant, and would rather lay at hame and be ensconced in the livingroom with our chessboard ‘Dring tbe day, my son and, walkzd downto the nearby Stoneridge Mal, ate tibits, made purchases, of jus stn the ob and fl the presence of cach saber. Filly the superpower gave me another gi fry, a bonny baby, was born nt our home Life was moving towards completion. Joy was abundant and near the rim. My on was thled to became a maternal unde. Now, the entre house evlved around the Baby. She cate the centre of ataction, the ynorure of everyones eyes, My lidays came toan end. Thad tog ackto workin Indi. My son came tothe airport to ste me of We hugged each the, he touched my fet inthe ret Indan tradition and badd ny ight. Tae Last Goodbye September, 2014 Peasantoa, USA Teamebackto US, tobe wth my family agin. My der son was now a proud member of Goldman Sachs Immediately rushed tose him in San Francisco, {vividly remember him walking towardsme, ouside is majestic offi. ts dif to narrate the barge of emotions hat swept my heart, a he approached sme. Thugged him strongly, ot et him go fr few minutes, he touched my feet and tears riled down our checks. ‘What ca dotoget backthat moment again inthis ife? Why does Ife give such precious and memorable ames, which enact even be retained in your eae? Wis unair, njost end unfathomable ‘Webath went fra cafe abd pizaa. There was somuch to eat fam hm. His experiences, his sss, his elings and job satsuction. Obviously, he was happy and exited During the low fntense eonversation, we ate grtc bread assuming it tobe the main course pizza, We laughed heartily at our stupidity ‘whon the waiter brought sumptuous pizza after we ad pigged out onthe camplementary gaicbread, Iwas great fn. After, the meal, my sancfferedto -sythe check. My chest swelled with pride. Emotions were uncontrollable yes were moist with eve, pide snd happiness ‘Now that he was working he ould come to Pleasanton aly on weekends, Bvea when he came, he was tired, and sleep. Papa, 1do nt gt enough lep. work ‘wenty hours ata stretch’ During entain weeks, be was working a weeknds to 1 pratestd.Son you wil un yor helt, Teamplained. He would sy, "Come on Paps, am ysgol song Investment banking shard work” ‘Teoid not sy anything beyond this, ut cbvionsy, my wife and were not pleased withthe seheme of things -Autunn was aot turning out tobe as god a summer. He hd es tine, was mentally and physi fatigued and above al without slep, However, we made the best ofthe time available tous. Wed for ur vals, litle cjetng, and cccasionally othe gym ‘Onn las day, be auld ot came tse me, he wasbusy- So went tomect him in SF, we dankeffce and wih ahesty hear bid adie, Ist remember im, ‘waving tome a went down othe underzraind Bast station. ‘aiage..thatisal Tam loft with [Nathageanghe me peace now, no abe cam return my moment bls, nowhere can iad pace, never wil be that pete again. Istherereallyan order inthe nature of thes? Surelythere must be, How ele can we explin day an night, change of seasons, rowing up. Sowhere dors the order go when nature hes to pleyits game of eng balance efife on this plant? Can we have spring before winters or summer afer star? So, why to dsr the order af aye? Why's the supermaaral so whimsical? Why so heartless? Why ivalionl? ‘ow, no oe wllever answer my questions Begining ofthe nd Spring 2055 Sen Francisco ‘The New Year began modestly nd sent I gave no adc hal it wacarryngin its womb, a extstropbe, aay, which paces ‘hei lifetime, ‘The granddaughter was growing well, daughter was fine athe jo, ander husband's company was dong well to. Our shad at Blaner, Rajasthan, was ‘coaoldatngits position My tearttrab, my son was setling down well in is jb, His phone cal, wer far and few, he was extremely busy, but mais and messages were keeping the Nfetine wring From mid-fasry, he started complaining This fot forme. Too mash work nd toot ine. ant to came back home: ‘As probaly, ny parent would reac, we counselled him to keep going, as such dificult phases wore inevitable ina igh pressure new job Sonny, llareaf oaiage, yung and ambi, ep gong would ay ‘Gradually, is complains, hs discomfort with hsb increased in intensity and frequency. Ou mals, ou messages our phone calls continued to empathize ith bi, but we did not give hi an open mandate to uit she peobaly, wanted, Inthird week of March 2015, he submited hs resignation, without conslting us, and called ws. My fst senteneto im was, "Sonny i not want you to uit, but now since, you have done o, we ae with you, Come back me’. He sounded sd and distrbed, "Pepa, wil tae sometime toext. HR wielose in sme time. Tasked, what you want todo na?" Wel Iwi rejuvenate myself eat hame coke fon, walk and goto ge, and fly work with and expand cr schoo he ei [Not something I wanted him to daa tis stge of his career. desired, that he should camplete his one year at Goldman Sachs, learn sumething about cuporate fe nnd then decide. Destiny was markings time forthe family, We had no ce hat we were ging toe itbyatsnami which would uproct caries, never tobe rooted again, apie eset casas sa reer le 9 xt gue unig fees Tibew Elles of exiting suey soewas “San Never Dien by Surv Gupta - Wong Let By aquirkot fate, he was asked by his company, toreconsder his resignation and unde pressure from me, he rejoined. Now, who ad nurtred hi, carved hn, pss him, tok the fatal deison for in, Why di ask i tocntinue? Why dnt askin to comme back? ‘What fh nt forced him to continue? What iis company had not ven him the window torecnsier hs resignation? "These pinfl questions wil never be answered. There so power inthis universe which can undothe tragedy that hit us. oor son, he led ad did hs est ovum toerns wih ara antnaous work, no breaks, noslep and narespite Apri 6, 2015.10 pm, oi time. Thats, + 2-g0 hours, Caifenia time, He calls san sys, its too moc, Thave not slept fortwo days, bave aint meeting tomorrow moming have to camplete a presentation, my VPis annoyed and Lam working alone mye.” 1 got furious, Take itn days leave and eome home sad. He quipped they wil tallow: sae them to consider this as your resgration letter: Finally, be agreed o complet is workin about an ho, gotohis partment which was lf mie fro his oie boca return inthe morning. “The dawn never ame in urls, my sonny boys never reached his apartment monster, devi in ie gt motor vehicle, sniffed the if out o him, >My on, whose banes, blood ad Desh were my very owa, was Vim ofa cruel, mamentary lapse of an individual, who to, is surly samebody’s son ‘The San Fransisco police may finally rac hi the law may ive him the severest of punishments, but, who wil ge me my som back? ‘My wife andl, aur daughter and sonia are aw living vexetables His ove his ivelines, his companionship ar alin the distant pas, never toreturn ‘Who wl ply chess wth me? Who wil goat for eycingand tothe gam, wih me? What wil gve me the confidence that Ihave a highly educated and capable on walking on tis earth? Who wil ive the warmth of son omy wife? For who wil she cok? Fr whom wil she select brie? In who wil ur daughter ‘ad companion, friend anda support? He had promised our daughter tat in twoyearse woud tae themllto Disneyland, Ad now? ‘Everyune telling, kep faith in God, be strong, ie wi he ‘Well they dont, perhaps can, comprehen that tina sul we hae last, but ving entity, whose physical presence we requir every moment, My wien steadast, confident and sure thal ou en wil une backinthe amily rly net yar, she says the laws of ature wl take a ura for our god ‘Somy a, continue your wal for while without me, sine Teannot ate up wi your young strong legs, Tam waiting for you to came back hugs, buy ray ‘things and have our games of chess ‘Next summer willbe ours ‘Nature will change for our goo.” 4 terest Login Vserlopniestinaon=node/285S01%23commant-orm) o Feister Vase repsersesnation=node28550"¥23commentsorm) to post commen jusecregstent) THE WSO ADVANTAGE - INVESTMENT BANKING tw _ Financial Modeling Training (http:/Amw.wallstreetoasis.com/financial-modeling.training? tutm_source-WSO8utm_medium=I8Forum%20Advantage%20Block8utm_campaign=I8Forum'%20Advantage%208lock) In Temes, MBA, LB, Valuation +Learn More (p/iwnwelsreetass.comrinanelst modelngsiig? a soureeeSO8uem mesimeloruizonaseageh20elckSutm.canealgnfBForummznAdverageR20Blo. 2 _ |B Interview Prep Pack (http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/guide/investment-banking-interview-prep-pack? 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