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HEWETT
PEOPLE
CENTRICITY
THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF
PUTTING OTHER PEOPLE
FIRST i
WITH A FOREWORD BY MARK WHITE
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Foreword ..........................................................................................................i
What Is People Centricity?............................................................................ 1
Your Tribe ........................................................................................................... 3
Social Tribalism and Its Potentially Dangerous Effects ...................................... 4
People Centricity and the Law of Attraction ....................................................... 7
You Attract What You Are ................................................................................ 10
Evidence of or for the Law of Attraction ........................................................... 12
Put It into Practice ........................................................................................... 14
Looking Harder at Yourself............................................................................... 15
People Centricity in Action ......................................................................... 17
The Mutually Beneficial Interaction ................................................................ 17
How People Centricity Takes This Book Further
Than Most Other Self-Help Books Go ............................................................. 20
The Big Problem .............................................................................................. 22
Religion and Its Role in Advancing People Centricity ...................................... 23
Jesus Christs Teachings and People Centricity ................................................. 26
The Sins of Social Tribalism ............................................................................. 29
People Centricity and Eternal Life ................................................................... 30
An Obvious But Important Point ..................................................................... 30
Yet People Centricity Is Calm Methodical, Logical,
and Ultimately Sustainable .............................................................................. 36
So Why Isnt People Centricity More Natural for People?................................ 38
People Centricity and Showing Appreciation to People .................................... 39
The Unfortunate Rise of Bad Manners and Insulting
Behaviour in Our society .................................................................................. 40
Looking Harder at Yourself............................................................................... 43
The Two Major Types of People-Centric Interactions .............................. 45
Why Being Generally Courteous, Polite, And Positive
Towards Strangers Makes Sense ....................................................................... 47
The String of Pearls .......................................................................................... 51
Looking Harder at Yourself............................................................................... 57
Other Perspectives on People Centricity ................................................... 59
The People Centricity Lessons of J.B. Priestleys An Inspector Calls ............. 59
Dale Carnegie and His Major Contribution to People Centricity ..................... 65
Charles Dickenss A Christmas Carol: A Major
and Vital Inspirational Text on People Centricity ............................................. 70
Its a Wonderful Life: A Movie About People Centricity ............................... 80
Archbishop Desmond Tutu: Were Made for Community .............................. 82
William Styron and Sophies Choice .............................................................. 83
My Own Visit to Auschwitz: An Experience That
Completely Changed My Life ........................................................................... 85
People Centricity and Your Personal Life ......................................................... 91
An Ideal of What Love Can Be ....................................................................... 92
People Centricity and Romantic Love .............................................................. 93
Why Magnanimity in Romantic Love May Make Sense ................................. 96
Why There Are Limitations to What People Centricity
Can Achieve for You in Your Personal Life....................................................... 99
The Raw Deal Love Often Gets Today........................................................... 100
The Ideal Kind of Romantic Love: Everyday Calm Happiness ..................... 102
People Centricity and Loneliness .................................................................... 103
The False Image of Single Life ....................................................................... 103
Negotiations in a Relationship and When They Happen................................ 107
Why Finding out the Truth of the Other Persons
Feelings Is Better Done Early on .................................................................... 108
The Potential Instability of Romantic Relationships ....................................... 109
Romantic Relationships and the Challenge That People Change ................... 111
Life Is Difficult ............................................................................................... 112
People Centricity and Family Life .................................................................. 113
Family Life and the Worlds Most Popular Religions ..................................... 113
People Centricity and Raising Children.......................................................... 115
Family Life and the Romantic Relationship at the Heart of It........................ 117
Looking Harder at Yourself............................................................................. 120
People Centricity in the Workplace .......................................................... 127
The Special Role of People Centricity in the Workplace ................................. 127
Looking Harder at Yourself............................................................................. 129
People Centricity and Your Professional Life:
Customer Centricity................................................................................... 131
Defining Customer Centricity ......................................................................... 132
What Being Customer-Centric Really Mean .................................................. 133
The Essence of Customer Centricity ................................................................ 134
More About the Definition of Customer ...................................................... 134
Why Being Customer-Centric Ought to Involve
Your Entire Personality ................................................................................... 137
Reasons for the Blurring Between Work-Self and Real-Self........................... 138
Internal and External Customers .................................................................... 146
Understanding What Your Customers Are Really
Getting from You............................................................................................. 147
Two Key Conclusions ...................................................................................... 156
Why the Core of Customer Centricity Is the Adding of Value.......................... 157
How You Can Decide Whether a Customer Will Regard
Something as Offering Added Value ............................................................... 159
The Danger of Customer Centricity Being Eroded as
Organizations Grow in Size ........................................................................... 160
The Problem That the Nature of Customer Demand
Changes over Time, and Sometimes Changes Quickly .................................... 163
The Problem of Cost ....................................................................................... 164
Looking Harder at Yourself............................................................................. 166
A Better, People-Centric World ................................................................ 169
Our Fundamental Choice as a Species............................................................ 172
Acknowledgements .................................................................................... 175
About the Author ....................................................................................... 176
FOREWORD
i
Stephen Hewett
ii
Foreword
Mark White
Television & Media Consultant
Former CEO of Channel 5 Broadcasting
iii
PEOPLE
CENTRICITY
THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF
PUTTING OTHER PEOPLE
FIRST i
Let us try to teach generosity and altruism, because we are
born selfish. Let us understand what our own selfish genes
are up to, because we may then at least have the chance
to upset their designs, something that no other species has
ever aspired to do.
The Selfish Gene, Richard Dawkins (1976)
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I urge you to read on, because this book will help you get
more of the above things if not all of them.
All I ask is this: if you do want to get at least one more of the
great things listed above than you already have, do please accept
that youll need to change what you put into your life in order to get
out what you want. After all, how can you expect to get new
outcomes if you dont change your inputs? Its only logical,
isnt it?
People Centricity is what I call the approach to life
I recommend in this book. So lets answer the question:
Whats People Centricity?
Well, its all these things:
5 a powerful, invigorating and life-enhancing life phi-
losophy
5 a new way of seeing the world
5 a way of making your life even better
5 fun
5 interesting
5 engaging
5 fulfilling
5 liberating in that it liberates you to a new life.
How can we define People Centricity? I suggest
the life philosophy of making an investment of time and
emotional energy to advance the agenda of people with
whom you have a mutually beneficial interaction who
are outside your immediate close circle.
People Centricity is a fairly obvious term to think up, so
perhaps I shouldnt make a claim for having invented it. I
wasnt aware of it, though, until I first started using the term
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What Is People Centricity?
YOUR TRIBE
Heres another important definition I use here. In this
book, I refer to your close circle as your tribe.
So who is your tribe? Well, Id say its
5 the person or people you live with;
5 whoever you regard as your immediate family;
5 the people who are your closest friends;
5 the people you work with most closely;
5 if you belong to a religion, the people you are closest
to at your place of worship;
5 sometimes, people beyond your immediate circle of
acquaintances whom you see as belonging to your
own ethnic, national, or religious group. (This is
a more extensive definition of the concept of your
tribe, and applies most often in political situations.)
There may be other members of your tribe, but the cat-
egories above are the most important ones. You get the idea:
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The truth is that all the worlds wars, mass murders, and
individual acts of terrorism are caused by social tribalism;
that is, by our near or complete indifference to the needs of
others beyond our immediate family circle and friends.
The simple and sad fact is that people whose focus is
this narrow rarely make much of their lives. They are born,
they live and they die, and they are never or only rarely
touched by the blessing of what life could be to them, and
what they could be to life.
People Centricity is something very different, and very
much better, than social tribalism. People Centricity is all
about making a definite investment of time and effort to em-
pathise with the agenda of people from outside your own
tribe, to deliver the best mutually beneficial outcome for
those people and for you. (The concept of the mutually ben-
eficial interaction is central to what People Centricity is, and
I look at it in detail in the next chapter.)
Dont get me wrong, I think family life and time with
friends are all really great. For me, my family is my greatest
personal happiness, and I have a rule (which admittedly I
dont always manage to adhere to) that I dont do any work at
weekends so I can devote myself to spending time with my
family. Im lucky enough to have a wonderful family, excel-
lent friends, and many great work colleagues.
But I also believe deeply in People Centricity.
The trouble is that most people on the planet are socially
tribal in their approach to the world. They only bother to
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What Is People Centricity?
help an old people across the road and Ill drop some change
in a buskers hat if I like the music.
Thats great, it really is, and yes, very probably you were
doing a lot to pursue People Centricity even before you be-
gan reading this book.
But in proposing People Centricity as a life philosophy,
Im going to be suggesting that its very much more than
just you sometimes caring about people beyond your tribe.
Im going to be suggesting that People Centricity is all about
adopting a more systematic and thorough approach to car-
ing about people beyond your tribe.
Why am I suggesting this? Simply because I know that
practising People Centricity will make your life even better
than it is now.
In particular, practising People Centricity is that it will
let you harness, in your daily life, all the positive outcomes
of the powerful social and physical dynamic called the Law
of Attraction.
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like that person, too, where this is realistic and doesnt cause
any potential negative effect on others.
This is what like attracts like really means. It means,
in its most basic form, that positive attracts positivity and
that negative attracts negativity. So logically, if you behave
positively, then your life will be positive.
The Law of Attraction works. People who behave sin-
cerely and genuinely as if they are what they want to be are
likely to become what they want to be.
So, people who are friendly attract friends, people who
are loving attract love, people who give energy and life to the
world around them attract energy and life from the world.
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What Is People Centricity?
you your promotion, and youll get your promotion. You might find
yourself getting promoted even higher than you imagined!
If you want money
dont focus on wanting money; focus on the money itself:
think of what you can do to make others want to pay you money,
and youll get money.
If you want beauty (in all its incarnations) in your life
dont focus on wanting beauty; focus on beauty itself: ad-
mire it, seek it, appreciate it, and youll get beauty.
If you want to be beautiful
feel and think your beauty, and you will be beautiful.
If you want sex
dont focus on wanting sex; focus on being sexy, charming,
and appreciative of sex and sexuality. Being like that will bring
sexually warm people into your life.
Strangely enough, the Law of Attraction also seems to
apply to inanimate objects.
Try this, for example: Next time youre hurrying along
a pavement in London/Paris/New York/Beijing/Moscow/Rio
de Janeiro or anywhere else, and youre desperate for a taxi,
as you rush along the pavement, of course youll be focusing
on wanting a taxi. Try not to do that. Instead, focus on your
taxi: what it might look like, what the driver will look like,
what he or she will be thinking about. Focus hard on your
taxi and a taxi will soon appear.
Sounds mystical?
Maybe it does. But try it; it works.
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only really state it and marvel at it. You wont really benefit
from it until you start to put it into practice.
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Have you worked out what you could do to help the people
who are most close to you now, or people you might meet
soon, to bring the things into your life that you want but
dont have yet?
If you want to earn more money, what can you do to help the
community or industry youre part of, or a community or
industry you might join, pay you more money?
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PEOPLE CENTRICITY IN
ACTION
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and much less densely populated than our own. The worlds
population at the time when Christ lived is estimated to have
been about 300 million; today the population of the world is
more than twenty times greater than that; and the differ-
ence between the communications methods of Christs day
and our communications technology today are so great that
comparisons are, in a very real sense, pointless. Most people
in developed countries, and an increasingly high proportion
of people in developing countries, can communicate with
more other people in developing and developed countries
than has ever remotely been possibly been before.
Incidentally, many non-Muslims dont realize that Je-
sus is regarded by Islam as an important prophet. Indeed,
the belief that Jesus was a prophet is required in Islam, as it
is for all prophets named in the Koran. This is reflected in
the fact that Jesus is clearly a significant figure in the Ko-
ran, where He appears in ninety-three verses; though Noah,
Adam, and Moses appear with even greater frequency.
The Koran states that Jesus was born to Mary (Maryam
in Arabic) as the result of virginal conception, a miraculous
event which occurred by the decree of God (Arabic: Allah).
According to the Koran, Jesus was given the ability to per-
form miracles, such as healing the blind and bringing dead
people back to life, to help in His ministry to the Jewish
people all by the permission of God rather than of his own
power. The Koran also says that Jesus, although appearing
to have been crucified, didnt die by crucifixion or by any
other means; instead, God raised him unto Himself. Like
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safe, that the pilot and co-pilot are competent to fly it, and
that the people who work in Air Traffic Control know just
how to tell it where to fly so that it reaches its destination
safely and so you do too?
And how many of the things around you, the things you
need in order to pursue your life, including the building
youre in right now if youre inside a building right now,
are things you fashioned yourself? Very few? None of them?
And how long would you survive or, more to the point,
would you want to survive, if you were the only living per-
son on the planet?
My point is this: our world, and the universe around it, is
composed of two elements and two elements only: the natural world
you inherit and the human world containing everything human
beings have built in the natural world, the buildings, the transport
networks, the houses, the machines, the tools, everything that other
people have built for us, or that you have built for ourselves.
Following on from this point: without other peoples efforts
on our behalf, the only things there would be in the world would
be what we made ourselves. Without the efforts of others, even
the most industrious person would have scarcely anything
to call his or her own. We are utterly reliant on the efforts
of others, the vast majority of whom are strangers to us, for
almost everything in the world we need.
Here I am, writing using a word-processor that I didnt
make, that uses computer software I didnt design, and which
prints out the results of my days efforts using a computer
printer, toner, and paper, none of which I played the slight-
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When you talk to them and need their support, they usually
focus on our problems more in terms of their own needs and
feelings rather than ours. Even our families can be disap-
pointing in this respect.
So being appreciated is something people really appre-
ciate. Thats fairly obvious, but just because something is
fairly obvious, doesnt mean it isnt worth thinking about.
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Sit down and work out: Who do you interact with? Where
is the focus of that community that you engage with? You
might conclude, for example, that you spend thirty percent
of your time with your family; you spend thirty percent of
your time with your work colleagues and you spend the re-
maining amount of your time with neighbors, charities, and
so on.
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