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Pai Liu
1560 E Colorado Blvd | +1 626-585-7123| PLIU12@GO.PASADENA.EDU

Kirsten Ogden
Professor of English
Pasadena City College
1570 E Colorado Blvd
Pasadena, CA-91106
Dear Professor Ogden:
I just completed my first evaluation essay! It is an accomplishment for me because I never wrote
one before! Even though I struggled and felt frustrated while writing my essay, but I felt very good
and accomplished afterward.
Here is the steps of how I created my essay:
1. Brainstorm ideas from the voice collaboration.
2. Focus on one essential idea that Mary Pipher offers in her book.
3. Have my very first rough draft and then have my peer to review it for me.
4. I created the final thesis statement at the very last, I want to write when my ideas flow out. But
I still have a rough thesis statement while I write, and the lastly having fix my thesis
statements and make it stronger.
5. Citing the sources correctly and giving the credits.
6. Lastly, have my cover letter.
I believe I could offer some tips of my essay if I am able to fix this:
1. I would go through the book again and find some more critical points of the summary.
2. I would also go through more sources and find more examples.
3. I would go to the writing center and have them to check my grammars for the final draft.
Overall, I felt Ive completed the task and it is the most challenging paper in English 1A so far. I
think the most helpful part that helped me through the process is the voice collaboration. It forces
me to have ideas rather than starting to think What am I going to write about.

Sincerely,

PAI LIU

Pai Liu
English 1A
Professor Ogden
June 14, 2015

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World Expression
Writing is a form of expression. According to Mary Pipher, it is a technique that
everyone uses as a way to make connections and communicate. In her book Writing to
Change the World, she states that being a writer is something that she never expected.
Instead of that, her writing was a way of her showing that she wants people to get involved
with her and the only way is through writing. Writing offers a greater way of communication
and is essential for people who have that kind of desire.
With a psychology degree, Piphers skills in listening, watching, and observing are
extremely accurate. She especially recommends the readers of her book to find themselves.
By that, she wants us to find something such as values, integrity, and personality. Pipher
experiences many cases in her life where she believes that the people around her are changing
the world. All of them share something in common: writing. It ultimately contributes to who
are we affecting and how are they affecting us? Pipher also suggests in her gentle tone that
people have to relate to something if they want to be radical and change the world, and
writings can do such a thing and approach people in the correct way. Writing to connect is
what Pipher ultimately wants and its all about communication. I agree with Pipher that
writing is the best means of communication, and ideas such as conveying meaning, historical
importance, expanding ones perspective, and academic usefulness are also part of what
makes writing as communication so important.
The most memorable part of Piphers book Writing to Change the World is the
introduction and the first chapter. Both of them talked about how Pipher views writing and
how writing can change people. Like Pipher mentions in the book, With connection comes
responsibility...Writers help readers construct larger, more expansive frames of reference so
that more of the world can be more accurately perceived...Our goal as writers is to convey to
readers the greatest meaning with the most precise images and the fewest words (Pipher,

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152). She not only promotes writing as communication, but also asks that writers convey
meaning; meaning such as life, family, society, feelings, and anything else that one can think
of. This is what many writers have left out of their writing. I personally believe that writing
has contributed more to mankind than any other form of expression. Without writing,
civilization is questionable. Writing not only connects people and provides communication,
but also provides a way to transfer information. Pipher may know the power of language, but
there is also another way that writing is very important to us.
Throughout human history, our ancestors tried to leave information for future generations
to discover their existence. In most cases when contemporary humans were discovering
historical sites, the anthropologists always found historical text. Writings from history are
discovered and we are able to calculate what happened in the past. In American history,
women were not allowed to participate much in society. Writers in Before They Could Vote:
American Womens Autobiographical Wrting, 1819-1919, write for their recording of life.
Womens writings such as diaries and articles remained unpublished due to the laws. One of
the writers, Mary Jemison, not only mentions how hard writing was back then but also about
how unusual it was to see women write. She stated, I was born, to be the sport of fortune and
almost an outcast to civil society (Jemison, 47). Under family pressure, it was impossible
to be a female writer. Under societys pressures as well, she continued to privately write the
story of her life. She never got to publish any books, but she never quit writing. Just like how
Mary Pipher thinks about writing. I saw the world at that time as divided into brilliantI
felt that my life would be of absolutely no interest to othersI loved writing too much to do
it badly (Pipher, 61). Both of the writers express their passion by writing, regardless of what
their purposes. They just loved to write, and without Mary Jemisons history of her recorded
life, we wouldnt have been able to know anything about her or the history she was part of.
Without historical writing, we wouldnt be able to know about the past; the writers from the

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worlds past are able to communicate with the future by writing. Marys idea of writing as
communication is not only relevant for contemporary society and understanding everyone
throughout the world, but also for understanding the past.
According to Pipher, writing is fantastic; but to Rick Gekoski, it can be controversial. In
the article, Writing Is Bad For You, Rick Gekoski speaks about the problems with writing.
Writing is a form of communication that may not be as beneficial as it seems. He mentions
the beneficial parts just like Pipher, but in some cases, writing can influence the writer to be
inflexible and small-minded. Instead of wanting to improve and learn more as a writer,
writing may hinder one from trying to break free of a certain style because he or she is too
accustomed to his or her own style of writing. Communication involves expressing ones
thoughts and ideas, but also encourages one to take a step back and listen to other speakers
and writers; there is a multitude of ideas and information. However, as a writer, one hears and
speaks his or her own words, but does not very much reciprocate the act of listening and
learning new information. The saying, the pen is mightier than the sword, by Edward
Bulwer-Lytton has proven many times to be true. In todays era, the ability to write and
spread ones writing in masses is fairly simple through social media. Suicides, self-esteem
deflation, and emotional risks have emerged because of the words that have been written and
sent to the recipient. Writing is a form of expression, but sometimes it is better if some things
are left unwritten. Does Pipher know that some written communication should be held back?
Does she know writing can also be a double-edged sword?
Is all writing good and communicates properly? No matter what kind of formatting it
has? There are different stories in the academia field. Writing is one very important aspect of
academia: as it involves critical thinking, the understanding of material, and structuring an
argument. In Soheila Battaglias article, Importance of Essay Writing in University
Learning, she argues that essay writing is a purposeful and reflective way to analyze

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conclusions. Often in writing essays, students are required to gather research materials by
engaging with a variety of literature and information, and then gain different perspectives.
This is a completely different idea from what Pipher mentions. She never talked about how
academic writings can be different with the everyday writing that she does. Because of this,
essays serve as a tool for professors to assess students arguments, analyses, and examples.
Pipher wants writing to be easy and personal. It is different to see how Pipher suggests that
writing is very important for us, as we use it as a connection in communication. Students are
able to communicate what they have learned, and professors are able to do their fair share of
assessments. It is a completely different means of communication that is purely academic.
Furthermore, communication emphasizes verbal and listening skills, and writing does this by
conveying a message both internally and externally, sometimes academic writings fails that
task. Remarkably, writing as a communication tool is very important because of the
preparation that must go into writing. The organization and clarity needs to be as well thought
out as the main ideas and supporting detail, which is not part of what Piphers proposes.
Overall, according to Pipher, writing is something that she wants people to practice every
single moment because she believes it is essential for communication. It is true seeing how
she has conducted the experiments in psychology that writing is able to build connections to
people. Nevertheless, she points out how her own life experiences with writing and how
writing has changed her. Ultimately, the idea of writing is contributing to communication.
Jemisons recordings of her life events in writing, especially when society did not allow for it,
both gave future generations historical knowledge and insight into Jemisons perception.
Moreover, Jemison loved writing and believed writing could change people, just like Pipher.
However, writers such as Rick Gekoski and Sohelia Battaglia might not consider writing as
being important for communication; despite the fact that writing is essential for certain tasks.
Geokoski briefly talks about the pen and how physical writing limits the brain; it holds back

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the potential of ones mind. He believes that there is improved way of communication other
than strictly writing physically. Similarly, Battaglia believes that writing, particularly in
academia, is a great way to build connections between the scholars and the students. She
believes the students have to gather critical information and look for resources for their
academic success. The two different ideas of written communication is different, but the
actual practices are the same. Both Pipher and Battaglia states how writing ultimately
contributes to communication, but in different ways and definitely different fields.
Overall, what I believe is that writing is critical to our lives. I love how Pipher mentions
changing the world by writing and writing as a tool can create a better world. In fact, having
the knowledge to write is a way of supporting ones life. Most historical radicals were great
writers. Even one of historys most tyrant leaders, Adolf Hitler, wrote a book titled My
Struggle which convinced many Germans to follow his order. Despite that, writing makes
connections to people and that ultimately contributes to better communication. Online
networking such as Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube are so popular right now because all of
them share a place for people to write. When they write, it is definitely a form of
communication. E-mails are created purely for communication and allow people to clearly
connect with one another, so how can writing not be considered the best means of
communication? Pipher once mentioned how writing can change people, the world, etc. But
one of the most important ideas that she shared and I agree on most, is the power of writing
as communication.

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Works Cited
Battaglia, Soheila. "Importance of Essay Writing in University Learning." seattle pi. Demand
Media, n.d. Web. 14 June 2015. <http://education.seattlepi.com/importance-essaywriting-university-learning-1401.html>.
Bulwer-Lytton, Edward. "Who first said 'The pen is mightier than the sword'?" BBC NEWS.
N.p., 9 Jan. 2015. Web. 14 June 2015. <http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine30729480>.
Gekoski, Rick. "Writing is bad for you." theguadian. N.p., 7 July 2011. Web. 14 June 2015.
<http://www.theguardian.com/books/booksblog/2011/jul/07/writing-bad-for-yourrick-gekoski>.
Jemison, Mary. Before They Could Vote: American Women's Autobiographical Writing,
18191919. Ed. Sidonie A. Smith and Julia Watson. N.p.: Univ of Wisconsin Press,
2006. Print.
Pipher, Mary. Writing to Change the World. New York: Riverhead Books, 2006. Print.

Revision Letter from Maddie (Madeline Liu)

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To start off with my general impression after reading your essay, I would say I like how
you start off by giving out a brief introduction and a background of Mary Pipher and the
book. Later on you begin to built on with quotes and ideas from the book to evaluated about.
The most effective part of the essay I would say its the conclusion, I really like how you
ended up everything with your own personal ideas, putting in your own feeling about Mary
Piphers book gives your essay a very strong connection to the readers. Some of the things I
would suggest is to maybe not write so much information of the books,rather try cut a little
less, and summarized it. It would be a lot better to have a strong statement sentence in your
introduction, because your introduction is not very strong in stating down what you are
writing about. I still really like your thesis statement, because not only you mention how
Mary Pipher never excepted that she will become a writer and you also included how her
writing is about relating to others. This statement gives your reader an idea of what Mary
Piphers book will be like. As for the conclusion, as I wrote in the beginning, I really liked
how you ended everything with your own personal thoughts and feelings. It really gives a
special kind of feeling, because through out the essay you only been giving evaluation of the
Mary Piphers book, but in your ending you sparked it up by giving out a personal opinion of
your own, instead of all Piphers opinion.

Maddie