AllisonSwann

3/19/15
Period2
FindingCourage

May1,2015
DearDiary,

Hiiiii!!!MynameisKaterinabutyoucancallmeKat.Mymomgotmethisdiary

becauseshesaidifIwasgoingtositonmybuttalldayImightaswellbedoingsomething.SoI
tookit.Iwasn'treallyplanningtowriteinitbutitisgettingreallyboringaroundhere.Eversince
theaccidentIreallyhaven'tbeenabletodoanything.Igotoschoolwheelchairandcomehome.
Nothingexciting...EVER.Iknowyou,diary,don'tknowwhatmyaccidentwasyetbutyouwill
soon.IguessIjustdontwanttofaceit.IfeellikeifIdon'ttalkaboutitorwriteiteveryonewill
forgetaboutitandtreatmenormally.Unfortunatelythatisnotthecase.Iusuallygetpitiedand
peopletreatmelikeImababy.Orpeopleignoremecuzmyfeetlookweird.WhateveritisI
justwishitwouldstop.Iwishtheywouldforgetaboutmydancing,mypast,andhowIusedto
be.ICAN'TEVENWALKFORGOODNESSSAKE!!!!UGGGGGGMYLIFEISSO
DEPRESSING.Butitdoesfeelgoodtogetthisoffmychest.I'mtiredgoodnightwtyl(writeto
youlater)!!

May2,2015
DearDiary,

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGERMAGERSHICAN'TBREATHE.IJUST

FOUNDOUTIMADEITINTOTHEAMERICANBALLETTHEATRE(ABT)INNYC.
Lastyear,whenIwas11,IauditionedtogetintooneofthebestdanceschoolsinAmerica
(this
wasbeforemyaccident)
.IwassoscaredIwasshakingbutImadeitin.Itstoobadformy
accident.ToobadIwillneverbeabletodanceinsidetheABT.OhwellByebyefornowI'm
gonnagocrymyfeelingsaway.

May2,2015

DearDiary,

AfterItoldmymomiscouldntdanceintheABTbecauseofmyinjury,sheblew

up.BLEWUP.Itwascrazy.ThatwasthemaddestanddisappointedIhaveeverseenher.Here
istheconversationasfollows:
Whoareyou?CauseIknowmydaughter,andyouarenother.Mydaughterwhen
evershefelldownshegotrightbackup,shewouldnotstandforachallenge.Mydaughter
despiteherdisabilitieswouldgetrightbackupanddance.Thisisahugeopportunityyouare
givingup.Andbecauseofthisyouarenotmydaughter.
ButmomyouknowhowIfeel.
Yourinjuriesarehealeduneedtogetbackupandonwithyourlife.

Harshright.ButI'mstartingtothinkshesright.BeforetheaccidentIwouldhave

takenthefirstopportunitytogothroughtherapytogetbackonmyfeet.Iwouldhavetakenthe

firstopportunitytodosomething.ButI'mnot.Ilostmycourage.Ilostmystrength,my
endurance.Iwillfinditagain.Imust.GoodnightIneedtogetagoodnightsrest,tomorrowwill
beabigday.

May3,2015
DearDiary,

WellIguesssinceI'mstartinganewtoday,Ishouldfinallytellwhatthe

accidentis.Ineedtoacceptit.ThenmaybeIcanconquerit.SoIhavebeendancingsinceIwas
three(Im12now)andI'vegonetosomeofthebestschoolsinAmericaforyoungerkids.Itwas
acouplemonthsagothattheaccidenthappened.IgototheElitefeetDanceStudioinFrederick,
Maryland.Itwasduringourwinterrecital.Iwasdoingmysolo,whenonmyFouettjetmy
ankleslippedandcracked,sincethiswasleadingintomyjetwhenIleapedmyIlandedonmy
kneeandbothmyankleandkneeweredamaged.IendedupgettingOCD.OCDindance
terminologystandsforosteochondritisdissecans(notobsessivecompulsivedisorder).The
easiestwaytothinkofthisislikeacavityinatooth.Itissomethingthatleavesasmallholein
thesurfaceontheanklebonewithadeadpieceofboneinit.Grossright.Butitwaspretty
painful.EversincethenIhaven'tdancedprofessionallyorgonetodanceclass.IguessnowIm
afraidoffalling.Ijustdontwanttogothroughthatagain.Butitstimetostartanew.Itsgoing
tobehardtryingtostartmydancinglifeagain.ButitsaroadIknowImusttake.ByebyeI'm
goingtomyfirsttherapysession.Herewego.Deepbreathes.

May3,2015

DearDiary,

Justfinishedmyfirsttherapysession.Itwasok,butIneedalotmorework.I

havebeenabletowalkbutdancingisawholenewstepforme.IthinkofAmyPuryandNoah
Gallowayandhowtheydespitetheirdisabilitiesandlostlimbs,theywentonDWTS(dancing
WiththeStars)andcameveryclosetowinning.Theywereabletoovercometheirdisabilities
andgoonNationalT.V.andeventhoughtheyloststillbeproud.AndI'mhereIhaven'tlostany
limbs,myinjuriesarehealed,butIstillcan'tevendance.Iamgoingtoworkmybuttoffandgo
toABTinthefall.Iamgoingtogetallthreeofmysplitsandmybiggestaccomplishmentwill
beremasteringmyFouettjet.Now,I'mgoingtostarttraining.

May11,2015

DearDiary,
OMGIAMSOCLOSETOGETTINGMYLEFTSPLIT!!!!!!!I'vebeenpracticingon
thepointbarreforballet.Ivebeenworkingonitforaboutaweek,butbecauseihadallthreeof
mysplitsbeforeIhadmyaccident,ithasbeeneasiertogetmysplits.Soitshouldbeeasyishto
getmyFouettjet.Tomorrowschoolstartsagainafteralongweekend(2days)Soishouldget
agoodnight'srestbecausetomorrowIgotoschoolwithanewattitude.Iwillbeadancer.Iwill
regainallofaoldfriends.AndIwillexcelatschoollikeiusedto.

May12,2015

DearDiary,
HeyHey!Schoolwasn'tbad,butitsgonnatakeawhiletogetmyfriendsandgradesback
up.AftermyaccidentIbecamereallyisolatedandpushedpeopleaway.ButIhavebeentrying.
WhenitoldmymomthatiwasgoingtogototheABTandbringupmygradesandfriends,she
jfj(jumpedforjoy).Wellshekindabfj(bouncedforjoy)orsfj(screamedforjoy)butmost
likelyslbjfj(screamed,laughed,bounced,andjumpedforjoy).Ourfamilyisverycomplicated.
Shesaidthatshewassorryhowharshshehadgottentheothernight,butwasgladthatit
knockedsomesenseintome.Imgladthatwearenotmadateachotheranymoreorthatimand
officiallyherdaughteragainlol.Iwishicouldgobackintimerightaftermyaccidentandslap
myself.Slapmyselfandtellherthatineedtogetbackuponmyfeetandineedtobelievein
myself.Ifiwastheretohelpguidemyselfimightnotbeinthispositiontoday.Iwishmorethen
anythingthaticoulddothat.Unfortunately,thatsnotthecaseandthatswhyi'mheretoday.This
iswhyiwilltryashardasicantomakethisrightandtolivemylifetothefullestandbestIcan.

May13,2015
DearDiary,

Guesswhohasnowmasteredherleftandrightsplitsandhasatotalof2friendsnow.
ThatsalotmorethanIhadbefore(thatwaszerofriends).Butitsmorethemerriertoinviteover
towatch
TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir
.BEST.SHOW.EVER!!!ThatshowisBAE.Andmy
gradesaresoaringinthesky.IamgettingstraightAsandmyteachersaresosurprisedatmy
suddenturnaroundtheyareallbeingsupernice.I'mhavingsomuchfunwithfriendsandschool
thatdanceismovingbackandback.Okineedtostopwritingandgostretchandpractice.Wtyl.

May14,2015
DearDiary,

Ok.Thisisthemomentoftruth.IamabouttotrymyFouettturns.Thatisthefirststep
rightbeforemyFouettjet.Letsseehowitgoes.One.Two.Three.OUCH!!!!Ilandedonmy
knee.Butiwon'tletthatbringmedown.Herewegoagain.One.Two.Three.ALMOST.Ireally
needtoworkonthatlandingandtokeepmylegup,Iwasprettywobbly.Butihavefinally
masteredallthreeofmysplits,myTombPasdebourreGlissadeGrandjet,andmytriple
Pirouettes.IvemadealotofprogressandIknowthatIwillbereadytogototheABTinthe
fall.

August24,

DearDiary,
Sooooooosorryihaven'twritteninsuchalongtime.SchoolstartstomorrowandI'm
freakingout.I'malreadyinmydormatABTbutIhaven'thadanyclassesorreallyseewhatit.
Heybutguesswhomasteredher
Fouettjetanddidnotfallonit?THISGIRL.IwenttoABT
summerdancecamptogetmepreparedfortheschoolseasonandmadeplentyoffriends.My
momissuperhappyandsoamI.Sofornowiguessthisisgoodbyediary.Thisisgoodbyeuntil
orifieverfallagain,becauseifieverdofallagaintheniwillknowhowicameonthisjourney.
AndhowIconqueredit.

CORRECTYOURGRAMMARALLIEAnika