Running Head: MY HELPING PHILOSOPHY

My Personal Helping Philosophy

Ashley Bartlett
University of Denver
10 May 2015

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My Personal Helping Philosophy

I must admit that I have never been very attached to theory. I think I have always
subconsciously understood that people are vastly different, and no one theory can apply to
everyone, but when it comes to helping others, I do see the value in crafting a helping philosophy
grounded in theory. As I read through more helping theories, I know that no one theory will fit all
of my needs and align with all of my values, but by combining pieces of theory that I connect
with, my approach to helping can be more effective rather than [mere application of] techniques
to help clients [that] may be inefficient[and do] more harm than good (Reynolds, Mueller &
Clark, p. 105). In order to create a personal helping philosophy I need to understand where my
values lie, and how my personal experiences inform the theories that I am capable of engaging
with most.
From a young age I knew that I helping professions appealed to me. Even before entering
high school, I was someone that others confided in regularly. I developed empathy early on in
my life, and I have always been extremely sensitive to the emotions and needs of others. It
wasnt just that I was naturally good at helping others, but I enjoyed it too. I think much of my
empathy comes from my familys dynamic. I grew up in a lower socioeconomic status home, and
a constant lack of money was always a stressor for my parents. My dad is easily stressed, and for
much of my childhood my brother and I watched that stress manifest in different ways. Most
often my dad would manifest stress through anger and explosions of emotion, and I can see how
that affected my brother and me differently. I constantly reverted to helping my mom and finding
any way possible to decrease the stress of my dad. My brother was easily able to ignore it and
disconnect, whereas I was always looking for ways to help my parents. I think from this I

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became attuned to the emotion of others, and have since always reverted to a need to help when I
sense that others are distressed.
In addition to my family dynamic, I must address how my identities as a white,
heterosexual female both inform how I have been socialized to help, and how my approaches
may hurt others in a multicultural context. Through both this class and the Higher Education
program, I have really learned how the slightest ignorance of privilege and lack of reflection on
differing needs has such a large impact on those traditionally defined outside of the majority;
impacts that I will never truthfully experience. This is so important for me to understand because
it is in the gaps of my knowledge and experiences that theory becomes highly valuable.
Understanding where I have the potential to fall short for others allows me to seek theoretical
approaches that can assist in the overall efficiency of my helping skills.
When I look at the different essential counseling theories there are some that stand out,
and others that are helpful to understand but may not be as supplemental to my helping
philosophy. I think two years ago I would have easily been able to say that the three theories I
connect with most are cognitive behavioral, humanistic and systems/family (Reynolds et. al,
2009) however now I feel that I will revert less to systems/family (Reynolds et. al, 2009) and
will place more focus on multicultural/feminist approaches (Reynolds et. al, 2009). I think the
cognitive behavioral approach is easy for me to identify with because I have grown up with
many privileges, and I have had the luxury of healthy behaviors and relationships in my life.
From that perspective, it is easy to identify seemingly unhealthy behaviors in others and when
that happens, I quickly want to help identify new behaviors that lead to solutions. Keeping my
privilege in mind again, I think my natural affinity to cognitive behavioral approaches prompts
my need to incorporate multicultural/feminist approaches. What the majority sees as healthy and

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acceptable behaviors may not be applicable for every student, so it is important that I incorporate
this theory into possible cognitive behavioral remedies. I truly believe that while people may or
may not be able to change everything about themselves, there is capability in many people to
change behaviors if they see the value in doing so. Suggesting changes in behavior must be
accessible though, and without resources or cultural parallels, cognitive behavioral approaches
can certainly be hurtful.
In addition to the cognitive behavioral and multicultural/feminist theories, the humanistic
theories very much speak to my own socialization experiences. As I said before due to my family
experiences, I have developed an ability to easily sense the emotions and feelings in others. I
know that everyone expresses emotion differently, but for some reason, I am often able to pick
up on someones feeling despite their expressions, especially if the feelings are more negative. I
think this is because I grew up wanting to please everyone around me, including my mom and
friends. Beyond just pleasing, I wanted to make sure they were happy and that causes me to
place high value on development through feelings. In addition, I very much apply humanistic
perspectives to my own personal development, so it is easy for me to build in similar approaches
when helping others. I have come to learn that not every person (nor every culture) places value
on feelings in self-development, which again reinforces to me why the understanding of multiple
theories is critical to anyone in helping professions.
As I reflect more while writing this paper, I can see how much I have had to change my
way of thinking so that I can really be successful in helping students. Haphazard approaches to
helping can ignore the unique needs of the one who needs the help, and they may not be
informed by researched developmental outcomes as theoretical approaches are. How we help
others is steeped in our development, but to be effective we need to understand how important

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research is. My affinity to the feelings of others, my beliefs in behavior modification and my
understanding of the importance of inclusivity have helped me to build a personal helping
philosophy that is grounded in both theory and personal experience. I still very much know that
knowledge of more than three counseling theories is essential, and I think that I need to continue
refining my skills in adaptability of approaches. Utilizing multiple theories will look different for
every student I work with, but with each student I help I can continue to self-reflect and refine
my helping philosophy. I see the importance in operationalizing theories in a personal
philosophy, and I look forward to the continued development of my adaptability through
knowledge of different theories and approaches.

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References

Reynolds, A. L., Mueller, J. A., & Clark, M. R. (2009). Helping college students: Developing
essential support skills for student affairs practice. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.