MEMORANDUM

To:
From:
Date:
Subject:

Karen Thompson
Jonathan Simmons
1 February 2015
Writing to Achieve a Readable Technical Prose Style

This memo presents the results from analyzing a technical report for an exam for an electrical
engineering course in control systems. The analysis addresses being concise, precise, correct, and
direct. Additionally, a general overview is given regarding thoughts on my prose after the
analysis.
Being Concise:
Being concise means being clear and meaningful with ones writing. Writing that is concise
avoids unnecessary words and phrases that are used to pad the document for whatever purpose.
The following example shows excessive wordiness and expendable phrases (lard-laden prose).
Unneeded words and phrases are highlighted:
All simulations were performed using MATLAB. The core code that runs the simulation is
given by:
for n=1:nsteps
T = T + 1;
x = x +dt*A*x+dt*B*F(:,T);
x1tim(1,T) = x(1);
x2tim(2,T) = x(2);
x3tim(3,T) = x(3);
x4tim(4,T) = x(4);
ytim(T) = C*x;
end

where T is the current number of steps, dt is the size of each timestep (which is 0.01 for
this simulation). A, B, C, and F are the matrices described in the Calculations section.
The xtim values are used for storing the iterated x value, and the ytim value is used
for plotting the output. x = x+dt*A*x+dt*B*F(:,T) is the core of the simulation, and an
equation derived from the limit definition of the derivative. For a set number of steps
determined by the nsteps parameter, x is calculated at a point and recalculated,
stored, and plotted nsteps number of times.
The language used in this example is not very concise. The first highlighted segment is not
needed as All simulations were performed using MATLAB implies that this is already code for
a simulation. A better beginning to the sentence would be The core code is given by. The

second highlighted segment suffers from the same problem, for this simulation isnt needed in
the sentence and is just needless wordiness. The third highlighted segment shows an expendable
phrase. The equation coming from limit definition for a derivative is not important, only the
results are important in this context. The last highlighted segment repeats information that was
presented in the sentence explaining what the xtim and ytim values are used for. The
sentences should be restructured as follows:
The xtim values are used for storing x values at each step. Likewise, the ytim value is used
for plotting the output at each step. Both variables are plotted with nsteps number of points.
Being Precise:
From the lecture: Precise writing means choosing specific words and the appropriate level of
detail to meet the needs of the audience and your purpose for writing. The following example
shows good prose style:
Figure 2. Zero-State Response for f(t) = sin(0.5t)u(t)
Figure 2 (above) shows the zero-state response for the system when f(t) = sin(0.5t)u(t),
and g(t) = 0. The zero-state response is obtained by setting all initial conditions to zero
and observing the desired forcing function. As expected, f(t) is a sinusoid and g(t) is 0.
Again, the output is equal to x3.
The given example has some jargon. However, the audience is a professor making sure his
students understand the concepts of the course, so the level of detail is appropriate. The text
clearly explains how the results in the graph were obtained, shows that they verify previous
calculations, and shows an understanding of the course material.
Conversely, the following excerpt exhibits poor prose style:
Figure 3. Zero-State Response for g(t) = e -0.5tu(t-2)
Figure 3 (above) shows the zero-state response for g(t) = e -0.5tu(t-2), and f(t) = 0. Again,
the zero-state response requires that all initial conditions are zero. As expected in the
forcing functions portion of Figure 3, g(t) is a decaying exponential function starting that
starts at the two second mark. Interestingly, only x3 and x4 are the only state variables that
are active, while x2 and x4 remain at zero. Just as in the other plots, the output is equal
to x3.
The first highlighted segment provides needless repetition of what was already provided in the
text underneath the excerpt for Figure 2. The audience knows that I understand what the zerostate response is, repeating how to find it again in the excerpt for Figure 3 is not needed. The
second highlighted segment states that g(t) starts at the two second mark, but it does not
elaborate on why that is important.

Being Correct:
Correct writing shows a mastery of the three grammar rules (real, social, and invented) and when
to use them. Each of the three rules are situational, and should not be a topic of obsession.
Writing naturally, cleanly, and professionally takes precedence in technical communication.
From proof reading, the document selected for this analysis was corrected of most grammatical
errors prior to submission. However, the following example shows that not all errors were
eliminated:
This report covers the problems listed on the cover sheet. Problem 1) is explained
thoroughly in the Calculations section, while problems 2), 3), and 4) are given solutions
by simulation through MATLAB, with given explanation of the MATLAB code
performing the simulations.
The highlighted segment in the excerpt creates a run-on sentence. In its current state, the second
sentence subtly implies that the MATLAB code for the simulations is trivial, even though it was
the heart of the exam. The example should be revised so that the highlighted segment becomes
its own sentence, emphasizing the importance of the code.
Being Direct:
From the lecture: Being direct means to be as straightforward as possible. Use strong nouns and
verbs to be direct. The example below demonstrates somewhat poor prose:
The results from the Calculations and Simulation sections remain consistent with each
other, which gives credence to the solutions presented in this paper as valid. More
information regarding the simulation code can be found in Appendix A, which gives the
complete code used for simulating problems 2), 3), and 4), as well as MATLAB
comments detailing the sections of code used for each problem.
The underline words are strong verbs explicitly describing actions of a subject, and the italicized
words are nouns which are the subjects of a given sentence. The highlighted segment represents
a phrase which could be changed into a stronger verb. In the first sentence, remain and which
gives are not a strong enough verbs for this excerpt. The first sentence should be changed into
the following two sentences:
The results from the Calculations and Simulation sections are consistent. This consistency
verifies that the solutions are correct.
Replacing remains and which gives with are makes the text sound more definitive and
puts more stress on the results being correct. Such emphasis is critical when presenting
information to an audience, and I was unaware of how weak that sounded until I reread it after
viewing the lectures on prose. The last sentence is an example of good prose. Detailing
provides an appropriate level of emphasis on the sections of code used for the exam.

General Style Analysis:

Upon completing this analysis I realized several weaknesses in my prose. Looking back at this
document and others made me realize that my writing often suffers from lack of clarity due to
run on sentences and an improper level of emphasis of due to word and verb choice. I have also
noticed a tendency to use unnecessary words, phrases, and repetition to pad out my writing. I
believe that my technical writing can improve greatly by acknowledging my shortcomings when
creating and revising documents.