27 [Park Chanyeol] Lies

Byun Baekhyun was behaving weirdly ever since he came back from his parents.
It was only the two days after Ive last called him when he finally returned to our dorm.
Youre back.
I was watching television in the living room, and said that while trying not to look like I cared much.
Yeah. He replied in a small voice as he walked past me with his head down into our shared
bedroom.
Why was still trying to ignore me?
I did apologise yesterday.
Hey I wanted to call him back to the living room, but Oh Sehun had to jump in at this time.
Baekhyun-Hyung, theres a letter for you.
Baekhyun who was looking weary the whole time was immediately alerted, his head jolted up to look
at Sehun. Almost as if a snatch, he took the envelope from Sehuns hands.
Youyou didnt look at its contents right?
Something was feeling off to me.
Uh haha, I did look in it, Sehun scratched his head and smiled sheepishly.
Hearing this, Baekhyuns expression turned stale.
I-Its just a letter from a fan, it was in my pile of letters. I thought it was for me so I opened it up
sorry, Hyung.
Ohits okay. I could see the relief on Baekhyuns face. His hands drooped to his sides as he
walked towards our bedroom.
Hyung Oh Sehun still wanted to say something else to him, so he put his hand out to tap on
Baekhyuns shoulder.
The moment he tapped on Baekhyun, Baekhyun fell to the floor.
I froze, then rushed up to him and pushed Oh Sehun aside.
What are you doing! I shouted at him before picking the collapsed man off the ground.
Sehun was evidently afraid, he looked like he was about to cry. I-I-I didnt do anything wrong! He
said as he carried Baekhyun with me into the bedroom.
Looking at Baekhyun weak and pale, I was feeling extreme pained.
I covered him with a blanket and placed my hand on his forehead.

Hes having a fever. Why was he sick? Wasnt he at his parents?

I-I-I- Ill go get the fever medicine! I could tell Oh Sehun felt guilty. He went to get water and
medicine.
I helped Baekhyun up to lean against my chest and put the medicine and water into his mouth.
However, he could not swallow anything for all the water dripped out from the sides of his lips.
I helped him wipe the water away immediately and Oh Sehun just stood there, watching us.
I dont think Baekhyun-Hyung can swallow the medicine. He reminded me carefully.
I threw him a glance, not bothering to respond to his words.
Hell eat it later then, I put the medicine and water away. Also, I dont know if he had food, he
might get gastric pains again eating medicine on an empty stomach.
Oh, Sehun nodded.
I slowly lowered the man in my arms back into his lying position. I was trying to be as gentle as I
could since I did not know at all how to take care of someone sick.
It was then when I noticed something strange about his body.
On the ivory skin of his neck was a few faint pink-red marks.
I was clearer than anyone what it was.
As if someone had just thrown a pail of water on me, I felt drenched from to toe.
Sehun, get out, I commanded.
Oh Sehun did not get my mood, Hyung you are going to personally feed Baekhyun-Hyung the
medicine right?
I was in no mood to joke around with him.
Get out! I shouted.
Ok-ok. He seemed to be frightened by my sudden outburst, wasting no time to leave the bedroom,
closing the door behind him.
I had no idea what I was feeling, I only knew that my hands were shaking as I reached them towards
him.
I slowly took the collar of his shirt into my hand and pulled it down.
Near his chest, there were another two of those marks.
Something went bang in my brain. I felt like the last nerve I was holding onto was about to break.
His voice from last night appeared in my brain.
Where are you? Ill go find you.

 DontIm-Im at my parents place.

Why did you suddenly go back? You arent lying to me right?
No.
It was as if Byun Baekhyun in his state of unconsciousness felt something wrong, he frowned a little.
I thought you liked me.
Byun Baekhyun, I thought you liked me very very much.
Then why are you still mixing around with those other men?
Or was he Wu YiFan?
Was he a hundred times more gentle?
Or was he just as horrible, he let you return with a fever.
ha. Fuck. The thought was driving me crazy. I wanted to kill that bastard.
And you too you rotten bastard. You lied to me again.
Do you even know? That Im losing my sanity.
Because you, appearing in front me with marks of love from someone else is really driving me insane.
--I didnt know how I ended up asleep by his bed, but I was jolted awake by a tiny movement from the
person next to me.
I rubbed my eyes, judging from how the room was already dark, it was night time.
I saw him by the bed, holding the cup of water from the bedside table, and I also realised that a new
piece of clothing was draped across my back.
Go and sleep on the bed, youll catch a cold. He looked at me as he spoke in his coarse and small
voice.
No. What are you doing.
I was about to get some hot water.
I said nothing and followed behind him into the kitchen.
He waddled a bit as he walked, and when he was about to lift the kettle, his slim wrist looked like itd
unable to.
How was they stay at your parents? I asked him softly.
He stopped drinking and lowered his eyes, avoiding any eye contact with me.
Yeahpretty good.
I nodded, Great.

He did not continue the small talk and rinsed his cup instead.
I walked up to him and hugged him from behind.
I could feel his body freeze for a second.
Byun Baekhyun smelt good. So was it this same scent that drew those other men in? I lowered my
head and nuzzled my nose against his neck, my hands roaming across his waist.
I am so in love with his body.
I put my lips next to his ears, and whispered, Lets do it.
He didnt dare to move in my embrace, and upon hearing those words, I could sense him panic.
II dont feel well enough for it. He said in a small voice.
I dont care, I said before leaning in to plant kisses on his neck.
But I was immediately pushed away. Thrown off guard, I backed away a few steps.
His eyes were filled with panic and I was in disbelief.
What the hell was that? Was he declining me?
Another day, pleaseI dont want it today.
Was it too tiring yesterday then? I asked him expressionlessly. I thought about how he hung up my
phone call yesterday and how I even sent him a sorry text.
I felt like a fool.
So when your voice shook it wasnt because you were crying huh.
Out of anger, I grabbed his wrist and dragged him into the bathroom.
Dont make a sound, I warned him, there are others still in this house.
He staggered his way into the bathroom, and out of obedience, he followed my instruction. But what
gave him away was his panicky and erratic breathing.
I locked the bathroom door and turned the shower head on, covering the sound that would be made
soon.
I stripped him of his clothes and took him into my embrace, then I lowered my head to engage him in
a kiss. It was mad lust.
His body temperature was still high from the fever and his lips were cracked and I knew he had no
energy to push me away as he leaned limply against me.
I let go of his lips and started to unbuckle my belt but that was when I heard him speak in a quiet
voice.
ChanyeolI-Im cold. He was leaning naked against the cold bathroom wall while water droplets
from his hair dripped down onto his face.

Can you cover me with a shirt at least He plead between chattering teeth.
I watched him as my agitated heart calmed down.
Did he go get water to try to keep himself warm? After giving me his jacket?
He wouldnt let me feel cold.
He always took care of me secretly, behind my sight.
Hes also here right now about to be put through pain. I knew he loved me.
What about me?
What the hell was I doing? The mans sick!
I snapped out of my thoughts and rushed to pick up his shirt that was thrown onto the floor, except it
was already wet.
I took off my half-dry shirt and put it on him, and lifted his pants back up for him to wear it.
He was still shivering as he watched me with confusion.
Ignoring him, I grabbed a towel and dried his hair with it, thankfully his hair wasnt soaked.
Afterwards, I pulled him into a hug, my bare chest against him.
Lets stay like this for a while more.
I wanted to make him feel warmer but he still continued shivering.
Go back to the room and rest. I let him go.
He watched me, puzzled, What about you? He eyed my loin.
I can manage, I kissed his burning forehead and pushed him out of the bathroom.
Suddenly, I couldnt bear to cause him harm.
--A week later, we had another group schedule for the first time in months.
Kyungsoo was having a mini concert and we were there as guests to perform one of our songs.
Everyone was excited, since its been such a long time.
Except Baekhyun.
After he has recovered, he became much more quiet and Id notice him gazing into space by himself. I
had no clue what he was thinking about. He never left the house, and he ate very little. I even thought
he had insomnia Some days when I woke up in the middle of the night, Id hear his soft sighs.
Was he alright?
Is he alright?

Luhan Hyung would ask me that too as he eyed me with suspicion.

I dont know, I frowned, Dont look at me like that, I dont think it was because of me.
Did you speak to him about it?
Yea, I did. But you know how he is.
When I asked him Whats wrong? , hed reply me with Im fine. It was like a drill.
Both of us were having the conversation in the car, and when Baekhyun got in, Luhan spoke to him.
How did it feel like to be under the sun? Luhan Hyung wanted to tease him, Its been weeks since
you left the house.
Baekhyun only smiled uncomfortably in response.
I looked at him, he was looking down and silent the whole time. It made uncomfortable.
I want to know what youre thinking.
Your every single thought. Why youre unhappy.
I want to know.
When the car arrived at the venue, the fans were all outside waiting for us.
Upon alighting, we walked as fast as we could into the building.
Its been ages since the fans last saw us as a whole and they were frantic, screaming while their best to
get a picture for us. If not for the security, they would have mobbed.
I saw Baekhyuns expression from the corner of my eye. He was stiff.
He was probably not used to this.
--The moment we stepped onto the stage and saw the fans cameras, we transformed.
I felt rays of light lit up behind us.
As the fans screamed, I felt a little gasp beside me. Out of some sort of panic, I felt Baekhyun grab
my arm.
Whats wrong? I was a little shaken and turned to look at him and saw sweat dripping from his
forehead.
You dont feel well? I asked him.
He looked at me and as said the default, Im fine.
Again.
I felt as if I were being toyed around.

What the fuck was I worrying for him like a fool.

Dont focus. I frowned and told him.
Im sorry, He lowered his head and said softly.
Baekhyuns performance was the first amongst us after Kyungsoo.
He only had one song to perform and it was the one he sang for my dramas soundtrack. For his stage
there would be a tall chair that Baekhyun would sit on holding a rose, while the dancers would do a
slow and fluid dance. The song was about a pair of lovers about to separate.
The way he looked on stage as he raised his hand to touch his ear piece before lowering his head was
beautiful.
I was stunned as I watched from downstage.
He closed his eyes and started to sing.

You dont know.

Why Im laughing yet I cry.
Even if you knew, you wouldnt understand.
Because youre always looking somewhere else.
You can call me, I think I understand
I hear the wind too
my heart
I need you I love you
I cant say goodbye
Without my permission.
You come into my heart all day.
I need you I love you
I cant stop
The day the ocean waves at dawn stop
Only then, Ill stop
you know
Always alone
days feel like the approaching night.
In the brief moment when our eyes somehow meet,
When it pasts
I get annoyed
I fall asleep alone.
I need you I love you
I cant say goodbye
All my thoughts
Are directed towards you

I need you I love you

I cant change
The tears in my eyes.
When they change colour
Ill change my mind.

Song: If Naby (rough translation)

The song ended and all the staff clapped.

He bowed and looked down the stage to get instructions from the staff.
I walked towards him and gestured him to come towards me.
He jogged over and bent down to look at me from the edge of the stage.
Whats wrong? He asked.
I looked up at him, seeing how the light from the stage form a halo of soft glow around him. His face
was soaked in the dreamy glow.
I smiled and reached my hand towards him.
He was dazed for a moment, and when he realised, he handed me the rose, looking rather unsure.
Thank you Baekhyun Oppa ~ I called him that jokingly.
He smiled, eyes forming crescents.
You look really good when you smile, I raised my hand and hit his head gently with the rose,
remember to be happy.
But my words seemed to have dampened his smile.
Yea, I know.
--Original Writer:
Translations by: chanbaek-xoxo.tumblr.com
Do not repost.