Julia Broyhill

ENED 683
Dr. Hartman
April 26, 2015
Dear Dr. Hartman,
I really appreciated your feedback on my WAD assignment earlier. I knew my
weakest area would be the assessment. Assessing a workshop, to me, will always be a
difficult thing primarily because all of the workshops I have participated in have never
been assessed. In light of your comments concerning my lack of strong assessment, I
would say that every single workshop I attended at work was missing this very critical
piece. My Co-workers and I would attend, participate (they usually were very engaging)
and receive a certificate then leave. I never thought about assessments and workshops
even being related. Your comments to my submission makes sense, though, that a
certificate is a nice take away for the participant, but how can the participant and
presenter know that any learning and growth has occurred without any legitimate
assessment?
I think the assessment part of this course has been one of the most instructional
for me. During my brief stint teaching, the assessment was provided for me, so I did not
realize there was really anything to it. The same with deciding what the goals, objectives
and outcomes a course should have. I was simply handed a syllabus, which listed
everything I needed to get my students through the class. Upon reflection, I think this
might be one reason I like training more than teaching. I feel I have more control over
the content of the material and how it will be presented.

I have not made changes to all of my WAD, only those areas you suggested,
which follow below. I will outline here the changes I am making and my reasoning.
1. Assessment: I have included an Email Etiquette Rubric. Using only a checklist of
objectives and outcomes would only meet minimal assessment needs. The items listed
are not necessarily black and white, yes or no type of learning outcomes. Some
participants may come close, but still need improvement. I would use the rubric to
assess the in class assignment after the workshop and provide feedback to the
individuals and their supervisor.
2. Assignment Feedback: As described above, the final feedback would be done
through a rubric assessment. Comments may be added directly to the assignment
document, but I would refrain from marking through the assignment so as not to
discourage the participants.

Email Assignment
Directions: Rewrite the following unprofessional emails so that they are more
professional.
Example 1.
Ms. W
Wazzup? girl tell me what we have to do for Friday cuz i take 3 claeses and werk 15
hrs/wek and i dont have time 2 git to a computer and look n e thing up I rlly like ur class
bcuz ur funny well let me know cuz im a rlly gd stdt and need a A in ur cls.
Correction of Example 1.
Subject Line: Assignments for Friday (insert date)
Hello Ms. W (spell full last name),
Could you tell me what assignments I have in your class on Friday?
Please get back to me at your earliest convenience.
Thank you,
(Students full name)
Example 2.
You really irritated our client yesterday. We need to talk about it.
Correction of Example 2.
Subject Line: Clients Appointment Yesterday
(Mr. or Mrs. Last Name),
Could you come to my office at your earliest convenience to speak about our client
yesterday?
Thank you,
(Senders full name)
Example 3.
(Sent as a REPLY TO ALL)
I dont like the decision you made to go forward, Marcus.
Correction of Example 3.

Subject Line: Recent Decision

(sent as a reply to the sender)
(Mr. or Mrs. Last Name),
Could we speak about the decision you made to move forward with (insert project here)
at your earliest convenience?
Thank you,
(Senders full name)
Example 4.
Subject Line: Project
Message: In reviewing our project on saving the seals from Florida. We have came to
the conclusion we still need more information on this subject to be allowed funding for
this project. Can you give me more information on where the donated funds will be
directed to? These are some of the questions raised in our meeting last week with the
CEO. Also will we need to send employees there for work? Will we need to fund the
airfare and expenses if travel is involved? How many other companies are involved in
the fund raising of "Saving the seals?" We will need to set up a meeting shortly to
discuss this further. I am sure I have more questions, I just can't think of them now.
See ya,
M. Mazza
Manager of Advertising & Promotions
Correction of Example 4.
Subject Line: Saving the Seals Project
Good morning/afternoon (recipient),
Recently we reviewed our project on saving the seals from Florida. We concluded that
we need more information to be allowed funding for this project. In our meeting last
week with the CEO of (insert company or corporation), a few questions were raised that
we hoped you could answer. Can you give us more information about where the
donated funds will be directed? Also, will we need to send employees there for work?
Will we need to fund the airfare and expenses if travel is involved? How many other
companies are involved in the fundraising of Saving the Seals?
I would like to set up a meeting as soon as possible to discuss these and perhaps other
questions at length.
Thank you,
(Senders name)

Professional Email Etiquette Rubric

Name: Sarah Anne David

Date: 4.26.15

Category

1 Does Not Meet

Expectations

2 Approaching
Expectations

3 Meeting
Expectations

4 Exceeding
Expectations

Subject of Email

Lacks a subject line.

Unclear/inappropriate
subject line

Somewhat unclear or
inappropriate

Clear, specific and

appropriate

Salutation and
Closing- Was the
Salutation and
Closing of the email
friendly and
informative?

Salutation and/or
closing are missing.

Salutation is friendly, but

closing does not include
contact information.

Salutation is friendly
and closing includes
some contact
information, but not
all that is pertinent

Salutation and
closing are respectful
and accurate

Tone- Was the tone

of the email
professionally
appropriate?

The tone of the email

was professionally
inappropriate and
disrespectful

The tone of the email was

EITHER professionally
inappropriate OR
disrespectful

The tone of the email

was slightly
professionally
inappropriate

The tone of the email

was professionally
appropriate and
respectful.

Accuracy
Are all specific
dates, times, events,
data, etc. provided?

There is significant
inaccurate or missing
information.

There is one mistake or

inaccuracy AND some
important information is
missing.

There is one mistake

or piece of inaccurate
information. All
important information
is included.

All important
information is
included and is
accurate.

Clarity- the email

wasclear, concise
and easy to
understand?

The email was not

concise, not easy to
understand and was
notprofessional.
The letter seemed to
be a collection of
unrelated sentences. It
was very difficult to
figure out what the
letter was about.

The email was EITHER not

concise or not easy to
understand OR was not
professional.
Ideas were somewhat
organized, but were not very
clear. It took more than one
reading to figure out what
the letter was about.

The email was mostly

concise and easy to
understand and was
professional
Ideas were expressed
in a pretty clear
manner, but the
organization could
have been better.

The email was

concise,easy to
understand and
was professional.
Ideas were expressed
in a clear and
organized fashion. It
was easy to figure
out what the letter
was about.

Grammar,
Spelling,
Capitalization,
Punctuation
(conventions)- The
email has no errors
in grammar,
spelling,
capitalization,
punctuation

Writer makes more

than 4 errors in
grammar, spelling,
capitalization,
punctuation.

Writer makes 3-4

errors in grammar, spelling,
capitalization, punctuation.

Writer makes 1-2

errors in grammar,
spelling,
capitalization,
punctuation.

Writer makes no
errors in grammar,
spelling,
capitalization,
punctuation.

TOTAL

Source: Copy of Email Etiquette Rubric. Google Docs. Web.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Nc4a56el6NSngXd1DpEnAZDtufCJg8z9A84aBN
YVvy8/edit

Score

23