Assessing your abstracts: ASL

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Collector: Assessing ASL ...ring 2015 f2f (Web Link)
Started: Sunday, March 01, 2015 9:07:21 AM
Last Modified: Sunday, March 01, 2015 10:46:54 AM
Time Spent: 01:39:33
IP Address: 208.102.44.53

PAGE 1: Introduction to this Assessment Tool

Sarah Trevino

Q1: Add your name

PAGE 2: ASL: See Once, Never See Again

Q2: Academic Question: What was your original abstract for this text? (Academic Intent: Insert your
original abstract here).
IF OPEN MIND WHILE TRAVEL GRASP EXCITING NEW EXPERIENCE
Q3: Academic Question: How do you rate your abstract? NA meaning you didn't prepare an abstract,
and progressing from "1" (does not address the expectations) to "5" (very effective). (Academic
Intent: Assess your abstract using this scale, using the criteria you are given)
My original abstract

5. Captures the spirit and intent!

Q4: Academic Question(s): Was your rating between 0-3 or was it more than 3?How do you explain
your decision, and what evidence do you have from your language to convince others that you have
thought it through analytically and effectively? If you rated your original between 0-3, how would you
revise it to improve it to a 4 or 5? Why does the language of your revision improve it effectively?
(Academic Intent: Discuss why you assessed it that way and how you would revise it to be assessed
between 4-5. If your assessment was more than 3, discuss why you assessed it that way, including
specific examples to support your assessment.)
My abstract was rated as a 5 because I believed it was effective based on the usage of "OPEN MINDED
WHILE TRAVEL" because in the passage they talk about all these opportunities they got to experience
because they were willing to give the experiences a shot. Clear discussion with use of specific language
to support the decision!

PAGE 3: ASL: Totem Pole

Q5: Academic Question: What was your original abstract for this text? (Academic Intent: Insert your
original abstract here).
SOMETIMES BAD FEELING CHANGE-TO GOOD FEELING

1/5

Assessing your abstracts: ASL

Q6: Academic Question: How do you rate your abstract? NA meaning you didn't prepare an abstract,
and progressing from "1" (does not address the expectations) to "5" (very effective). (Academic
Intent: Assess your abstract using this scale, using the criteria you are given)
My original abstract

3. Begins to capture the spirit :)

Q7: Academic Question(s): Was your rating between 0-3 or was it more than 3?How do you explain
your decision, and what evidence do you have from your language to convince others that you have
thought it through analytically and effectively? If you rated your original between 0-3, how would you
revise it to improve it to a 4 or 5? Why does the language of your revision improve it effectively?
(Academic Intent: Discuss why you assessed it that way and how you would revise it to be assessed
between 4-5. If your assessment was more than 3, discuss why you assessed it that way, including
specific examples to support your assessment.)
My rating was a 3, that it begins to capture the spirit of the passage, because it is missing something that
really connects to why the bad feeling changes to a good feeling. My revision was "SOMETIMES BAD
FEELING INTERNALLY LEARN ++ BOOST CHANGE-TO GOOD FEELING" meaning that the speaker
learned more about her culture which is why her feelings changed. Before she had all these negative feelings
about Totem poles but once she understood how important they were to her culture she was okay with it all
and it made her feel better clear justification but it still required the EXACT language supporting HOW it
achieves the goal

PAGE 4: ASL: Intro to Biology

Q8: Academic Question: What was your original abstract for this text? (Academic Intent: Insert your
original abstract here).
IMPORTANT UNDERSTAND CONTENT BEFORE INTERPRET
Q9: Academic Question: How do you rate your abstract? NA meaning you didn't prepare an abstract,
and progressing from "1" (does not address the expectations) to "5" (very effective). (Academic
Intent: Assess your abstract using this scale, using the criteria you are given)
My original abstract

4. Is very close to capturing the complete

spirit!

Q10: Academic Question(s): Was your rating between 0-3 or was it more than 3?How do you explain
your decision, and what evidence do you have from your language to convince others that you have
thought it through analytically and effectively? If you rated your original between 0-3, how would you
revise it to improve it to a 4 or 5? Why does the language of your revision improve it effectively?
(Academic Intent: Discuss why you assessed it that way and how you would revise it to be assessed
between 4-5. If your assessment was more than 3, discuss why you assessed it that way, including
specific examples to support your assessment.)
I believe this abstract was a 4 because while it captures the spirit of the message, it does not capture the
intent so in order to capture the intent I added IMPACT DEEP INTERPRET to the end. This addition was so
that it would be understood that the intent was that for and effective interpretation you needed to understand
the content, not merely that an interpretation is easier if you understand the content clear justification but it
still required the EXACT language supporting HOW it achieves the goal

PAGE 5: ASL: Elementary Storytelling

Assessing your abstracts: ASL

Q11: Academic Question: What was your original abstract for this text? (Academic Intent: Insert your
original abstract here).
ASL STORY INCLUDE MANY WORK
Q12: Academic Question: How do you rate your abstract? NA meaning you didn't prepare an abstract,
and progressing from "1" (does not address the expectations) to "5" (very effective). (Academic
Intent: Assess your abstract using this scale, using the criteria you are given)
My original abstract

4. Is very close to capturing the complete

spirit!

Q13: Academic Question(s): Was your rating between 0-3 or was it more than 3?How do you explain
your decision, and what evidence do you have from your language to convince others that you have
thought it through analytically and effectively? If you rated your original between 0-3, how would you
revise it to improve it to a 4 or 5? Why does the language of your revision improve it effectively?
(Academic Intent: Discuss why you assessed it that way and how you would revise it to be assessed
between 4-5. If your assessment was more than 3, discuss why you assessed it that way, including
specific examples to support your assessment.)
I rated my abstract as a 4 because I believe that the piece of discourse talks about all the work that goes into
ASL story telling. However, I think it is missing "PRESENT" after story (STORY-TELLING) and I would change
the end to also include "BUT STILL FUN" because the signer, though hes explaining how much is involved with
story telling, goes on to show how fun it can be as well with a kids story. HOW does this revision explicitly
achieve the goal?

PAGE 6: ASL: CDI Requirements

Q14: Academic Question: What was your original abstract for this text? (Academic Intent: Insert your
original abstract here).
TIME PASS CDI REQUIRE CHANGE++
Q15: Academic Question: How do you rate your abstract? NA meaning you didn't prepare an abstract,
and progressing from "1" (does not address the expectations) to "5" (very effective). (Academic
Intent: Assess your abstract using this scale, using the criteria you are given)
My original abstract

3. Begins to capture the spirit :)

Q16: Academic Question(s): Was your rating between 0-3 or was it more than 3?How do you explain
your decision, and what evidence do you have from your language to convince others that you have
thought it through analytically and effectively? If you rated your original between 0-3, how would you
revise it to improve it to a 4 or 5? Why does the language of your revision improve it effectively?
(Academic Intent: Discuss why you assessed it that way and how you would revise it to be assessed
between 4-5. If your assessment was more than 3, discuss why you assessed it that way, including
specific examples to support your assessment.)
I rated my abstract a 3 because while I think its got a good start on the spirit of the discourse with the , it
needs something more because its not just about knowing that the CDI requirements change, so I revised it to
say " TIME PASS MUST KNOW CERTIFIED DEAF INTERPRETER REQUIRE CHANGE++" this better
shows that you have to know in order to keep up with the requirements to become a CDI HOW exactly does it
show that? That is what you need to explain as well as expanding
CDI to "CERTIFIED DEAF INTERPRETER" because outside of context CDI doesnt mean anything

PAGE 7: ASL: Claudia Gordon-Lawyer

Q17: Academic Question: What was your original abstract for this text? (Academic Intent: Insert your
original abstract here).
STRUGGLE++ SUCCESS OVERCOME NOT ENDURE THROUGH yes
Q18: Academic Question: How do you rate your abstract? NA meaning you didn't prepare an abstract,
and progressing from "1" (does not address the expectations) to "5" (very effective). (Academic
Intent: Assess your abstract using this scale, using the criteria you are given)
My original abstract

3. Begins to capture the spirit :)

Q19: Academic Question(s): Was your rating between 0-3 or was it more than 3?How do you explain
your decision, and what evidence do you have from your language to convince others that you have
thought it through analytically and effectively? If you rated your original between 0-3, how would you
revise it to improve it to a 4 or 5? Why does the language of your revision improve it effectively?
(Academic Intent: Discuss why you assessed it that way and how you would revise it to be assessed
between 4-5. If your assessment was more than 3, discuss why you assessed it that way, including
specific examples to support your assessment.)
I thought that my abstract should be rated a 3 because while it begins to capture the spirit of Claudias story,
and almost quotes her directly but it needs more and I am not really sure what more it would need to take it to
a 4 or 5. Perhaps something less broad or about achieving goals then as a professional, it is essential that you
continue searching until you find a solution

PAGE 8: ASL: Early Intervention

Q20: Academic Question: What was your original abstract for this text? (Academic Intent: Insert your
original abstract here).
DOCTOR SHOULD NOT LIMIT PARENT UNDERSTAND THER CHILD DEAF
Q21: Academic Question: How do you rate your abstract? NA meaning you didn't prepare an abstract,
and progressing from "1" (does not address the expectations) to "5" (very effective). (Academic
Intent: Assess your abstract using this scale, using the criteria you are given)
My original abstract

5. Captures the spirit and intent!

Q22: Academic Question(s): Was your rating between 0-3 or was it more than 3?How do you explain
your decision, and what evidence do you have from your language to convince others that you have
thought it through analytically and effectively? If you rated your original between 0-3, how would you
revise it to improve it to a 4 or 5? Why does the language of your revision improve it effectively?
(Academic Intent: Discuss why you assessed it that way and how you would revise it to be assessed
between 4-5. If your assessment was more than 3, discuss why you assessed it that way, including
specific examples to support your assessment.)
I think that this is rated a 5 because the entire message in the video was about not pidgeonholing parents into
believing their child is disabled so I think that my sign choice of "LIMIT" really demonstrates that. HOW does it
do that?

PAGE 9: Global Deaf Community

Q23: Academic Question: What was your original abstract for this text? (Academic Intent: Insert your
original abstract here).
IF WORLD COMMUNITY UNEQUAL SHOULD EQUAL (high-low) HELP++ EQUAL
Q24: Academic Question: How do you rate your abstract? NA meaning you didn't prepare an abstract,
and progressing from "1" (does not address the expectations) to "5" (very effective). (Academic
Intent: Assess your abstract using this scale, using the criteria you are given)
My original abstract

4. Is very close to capturing the complete

spirit!

Q25: Academic Question(s): Was your rating between 0-3 or was it more than 3?How do you explain
your decision, and what evidence do you have from your language to convince others that you have
thought it through analytically and effectively? If you rated your original between 0-3, how would you
revise it to improve it to a 4 or 5? Why does the language of your revision improve it effectively?
(Academic Intent: Discuss why you assessed it that way and how you would revise it to be assessed
between 4-5. If your assessment was more than 3, discuss why you assessed it that way, including
specific examples to support your assessment.)
I think that this is very close to capturing the spirit because of the choice of "UNEQUAL SHOULD EQUAL (high
to low) HELP++ EQUAL. I think that to make it closer I could explain why its unequal like by saying IF WORLD
COMMUNITY MONEY ED UNEQUAL--Sarah,
You have made well-justified decisions about why abstracts needed revision; However, each of
your justifications need to include the specific discussions about EXACT language used in each
abstract. This was a requirement that we stressed in class. There were several examples in the
review handout demonstrating this, and it is essential that you refer carefully to the guidelines and
examples.

PAGE 10: ASL: Other Text

Q26: Academic Question: What was your original abstract for this text? (Academic Intent: Insert your
original abstract here).
N/A
Q27: Academic Question: How do you rate your abstract? NA meaning you didn't prepare an abstract,
and progressing from "1" (does not address the expectations) to "5" (very effective). (Academic
Intent: Assess your abstract using this scale, using the criteria you are given)
My original abstract

0. N/A

Q28: Academic Question(s): Was your rating between 0-3 or was it more than 3?How do you explain
your decision, and what evidence do you have from your language to convince others that you have
thought it through analytically and effectively? If you rated your original between 0-3, how would you
revise it to improve it to a 4 or 5? Why does the language of your revision improve it effectively?
(Academic Intent: Discuss why you assessed it that way and how you would revise it to be assessed

between 4-5. If your assessment was more than 3, discuss why you assessed it that way, including
specific examples to support your assessment.)
N/A