Darrell Webb

UWRT 1103
Professor Campbell
3/31/15

Early Marriage: For Better or For Worse?

In the hierarchy of needs a desire for love, or belonging, falls in the third tier; right above
physiological needs in the first tier such as eating, sleeping, and breathing as well as safety needs
in the second tier such as shelter and heath. With a need for love being so close to immediate
priority in the hierarchy of needs it is strange to witness American culture shift further and
further away from settling down at a young age but still people. Now, it is more socially
acceptable to have sort of a trial phase where someone will hook up with, or date, any number of
people before they finally settle down with the right person. The dating relationships include sex,
cohabitation, and the converging of financial resources that boil right down to being on the cusp
of marriage but without the vows. Which I can understand, if a couple is already doing all of the
things traditional married couples do what is the point of getting married so soon? I can also see
and agree with the counter argument of not prolonging marriage because of the behaviors already
established. Early marriage which is now defined as anyone that marries under the age of 24
as opposed to a later one, has its ups as well as its downsides as does a later marriage. An early
marriage allows couples to grow together as adults but also proves to be difficult because the
younger population tends to value their wants and needs over the wants and needs of others. The
question posed is whether early marriage is still a healthy choice in the midst of this cultural shift
or is a later marriage actually the better choice?
In order to figure out whether early marriage was still a viable choice I explored the
demographics of people who marry early. With each ethnicity comes a separate culture of norms

that shapes the views of marriage. Ethnicity is also a factor for what time a person will get
married. Hispanics are at the top of the list when it comes to early marriage followed closely by
Whites. Asians are the third most likely to get married early but their likely hood is distant from
Whites. Behind Whites on this list are Black people (Uecker and Stokes). Black people are the
least likely to get married early. Black men are over masculinized to the point where even Black
children are viewed as adults long before they are ready and able to be one. Within this
hypermasculinity are their views on marriage. Black men are generally taught by their fathers
and peers to not settle down until later in life, if at all. Having a long list of women that youve
slept with is something to be proud of. Its like the drawing your kid brings home from daycare
that you know really isnt that great but you post it on the fridge anyway and tell them youre
proud of it. Early marriage as a black man is an oddity but it still happens. A young couple that
has the capacity or the desire to settle down early and experience life together can have a healthy
marriage.
More factors considered in marital timing are religious value, religious affiliation, and
educational attainment.. There is no visible way to determine whether religion plays a role in
someones marital timing. Church attendance has shown no relevance in the marital timing on its
own but combined with self-reported religious values was thought to have a correlation in young
couples marital timing. The study also hypothesizes that the pledges of abstinence for religion
universally push younger couples to marriage much sooner (Uecker and Stokes). There are a
number of people who go to church but value all of the ideals spread by the church but the
church is a good place to find the foundations of a moral compass. That being said, thats where I
believe the influence of self-reported religion comes in considering my experience in a religious
community. It is determined by how much one person lets their spirituality affect their decision

making in relationships. The religious aspect also offers more compatibility within couples. Their
ideology influences friendships made, financial decisions, child care, and much more. Two
people that share the same ideals will have a much easier time making decisions and further
developing their marriage. Although, there are couples who do not share similar ideologies and
their path to an early marriage will be dependent upon both being accepting of each others
spirituality or lack thereof. Ultimately, the studies done by Uecker and Stokes show no large
variation in numbers for young couples marital timing.
Instead, religious affiliation is what contained large numbers of variation. 42% of
Protestant women married under the age of 23. Jewish women and Black Protestant women were
the least likely to marry before 23. Under 1% of Jewish women and only 11% of Black
Protestant women. Conservative Protestants and Mormons were both the most likely to marry
before 23. Catholics, Black Protestants, and Jewish men all fell on the bottom of the spectrum for
early marriage (Uecker and Stokes). While experiencing both Black Protestantism and a general
Protestantism church I understand the numbers. In the Black churches it is common to hear
people teach boys and young men that they should enjoy their young age. Frequently I have
heard the phrase Dont do anything now that you cant make right with God later. That phrase
ultimately gives young men the mindset that they can do whatever they want and if it goes.
While on the other hand, the women are told to find themselves a nice man at about the same
time the young men are being taught to wait until later in life to marry. In White Protestant
churches I see both women being encouraged to marry early and men being encouraged to wait
until after college if they end up going. I have seen that White Protestant church communities are
stricter about abstinence and cohabitation before marriage while its not as big of a deal in Black

Protestant churches. Religious affiliation is a big factor in marital timing because the principles
taught shape the views of who it is being fed to.
Both men and women who have strong interests in attending college have shown, in the
study, low numbers in early marriage. This is understandable because a lot of money is tied up in
paying for college and having to pay for college as well as a wedding is too much of a stress for
some families. Couples that are on the track to getting married typically wait until right after they
have graduated college which is normally around ages 23 & 24. In an article written by Justin
Deeter, a pastor, he advocates for an early marriage but also mentions how American society is
moving away from this practice. He promotes it as a way for young adults to learn how to grow
up and handle responsibilities better. His belief is that Marriage pushes young men out of the
nest to spread their wings and fly under the windy pressures of life. Religion is a major
influence in marital timing and can also produce a stable household. Even individuals who dont
share similar ideologies can compromise on their ideals.
Another article called 9 Things Nobody Told Me About Getting Married Young, by
Kimanzi Constable, talks about early marriage and some of the things he and his wife had to
learn to overcome together. The first being arguments. He was shocked at some of the trivial
things they fought about when times were hard but they learned that effective and authentic
communication was key. Also, other people dont stop being attractive after marriage. Although,
taking too much notice of these other people can hurt a marriage. For a while everything is
sunshine and rainbows but once that phase of the marriage is over both parties will recognize that
they need a bit of space. Combining lives is difficult. Marrying young means that both parties are
still getting to know themselves while committing to another person. They either grow together
or apart. Some single friends will bid their farewells. Interests stop lining up and they will feel

the need to move on. Make sure the relationship is about more than just sex. In-laws will try to
get deeply involved in your life. Pick and choose what you share with them. Finally, falling in
love will be an active, every day decision. Its choosing to stick with your partner through the
best and the worst. Constable gives his personal truths about marriage, it is difficult to handle
when young but it is possible if the couple will work to maintain it.
The cultural shift that is happening is causing people to focus more on self-interests.
Individuals are less likely to be influenced by family (Uecker and Stokes). People used to get
married based on social or economic status. Wealthy families would marry into other wealthy
families to combine resources and to climb the social ladder. Either the unwed children were
restricted to certain families to marry into or their suitors were already chosen for them. Today,
family and demographics still influence marriage but nowhere near as much as it used to. The
focus now is more on the individuals wants and needs. Partners are found based on
compatibility as compared to financial or social opportunity.
In the middle of this cultural shift of delaying marriage until the later 20s people are still
getting married in and right out of college. Religious affiliation, spirituality, family background,
educational goals, and the capacity to learn together are just some of the thing that influence
couples to marry early. The studies and articles referenced did not give a finite answer as to
whether early marriage was a viable option but rather they presented it as a choice. If a person
has the capacity to commit to another and make it work then an early marriage is a viable option
for them. If not, it may be better for them to wait until their late 20s, possibly even longer than
that. For better or for worse is up to the individual who is considering marriage.

Constable, Kimanzi. "9 Things Nobody Told Me About Getting Married Young."
MindBodyGreen. MindBodyGreen, LLC, 28 Sept. 2014. Web. 31 Mar. 2015.
Deeter, Justin. "A Case for Early Marriage: Why It's a Good Idea to Get Married
Young." Justindeetercom. 7 May 2013. Web. 31 Mar. 2015.
Uecker, Jeremy, and Charles Stokes. "Early Marriage in the United States." Journal of
Marriage and the Family. U.S. National Library of Medicine, 1 Nov. 2008. Web. 31
Mar. 2015.